RANTING/VENTING MEGATHREAD 3.0

Man, some people in the Expat Korea Facebook groups are so useless and weird.

"Hey, I need friends. PM me."

How about you take off and get maimed? I don't understand the thought process.

"Hey, that random internet stranger who reeks of despair and loneliness wants friends, I could be a friend!"

Ugh................ ... SO USELESS and makes me so confused and pissed off.

Well I have to sympathise a little bit here because I see that a lot too.

Ugly/slightly older/non attractive man does this = mocked mercilessly in the comments.

Hot young woman does the same thing = wall to wall adoration, helpful comments, suggestions, recommendations (from men and women I should add).

I agree with Alex.

I don't think there's anything wrong with this in the same way that there's nothing wrong with online dating. The internet is so big, why not use it to gain some real life friends? Not everyone is good at making friends by going out, plus some people might not even live in a place with many foreigners to begin with.

And don't forget some people might not have great social skills, or might have some anxiety with meeting new people.
If you saw me before university, a post on a facebook group saying: I need friends. or something, would have been way outside of my comfort zone, as I have always struggled interacting with others.
Nowadays, I'm not so bad, but I still struggle with keeping a conversation going (even with people I have known for a while).

Man, some people in the Expat Korea Facebook groups are so useless and weird.

"Hey, I need friends. PM me."

How about you take off and get maimed? I don't understand the thought process.

"Hey, that random internet stranger who reeks of despair and loneliness wants friends, I could be a friend!"

Ugh................ ... SO USELESS and makes me so confused and pissed off.

Well I have to sympathise a little bit here because I see that a lot too.

Ugly/slightly older/non attractive man does this = mocked mercilessly in the comments.

Hot young woman does the same thing = wall to wall adoration, helpful comments, suggestions, recommendations (from men and women I should add).

I agree with Alex.

I don't think there's anything wrong with this in the same way that there's nothing wrong with online dating. The internet is so big, why not use it to gain some real life friends? Not everyone is good at making friends by going out, plus some people might not even live in a place with many foreigners to begin with.

I'm not against making friends online. I'm against going into a FB Group called "Waygooks in Korea" with 25 000 members and writing, as a text post, nothing but

"Hey, I need friends. PM me."

Just............... . why? At least write SOMETHING.

"Hey, I'm from Canada, new here in Korea. I'm in Busan near Busan DAE. Anyone wanna play some soccer soon? That would be cool."

Why on Earth would I PM someone when I literally know 1)their name (and only because it appears on FB, they didn't even write that part)  and 2) they want friends?

The kind of posts that I'm talking about are baffling and really bizarre. It's like going into a group and writing "I want food." Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh, okay? So bloody what?

And don't forget some people might not have great social skills, or might have some anxiety with meeting new people.
If you saw me before university, a post on a facebook group saying: I need friends. or something, would have been way outside of my comfort zone, as I have always struggled interacting with others.
Nowadays, I'm not so bad, but I still struggle with keeping a conversation going (even with people I have known for a while).

I get that, but give us something, ANYTHING.

"You play League?"

"Any Blackpink fans here?"

Seriously, anything. I don't need a dating profile but even something to make someone interested.

I am human, I am lonely. PM Me. <---- That's all I can see.

EDIT It also puts the onus of making friendships entirely on us.  "I need friends. I'll be chillin here, waiting for y'all to roll in."

At least offer to buy beer and have something to stare at to deal with awkward silence 

"Looking for fellow Villan  to watch this weekend's match. Will buy beers and wings."

And don't forget some people might not have great social skills, or might have some anxiety with meeting new people.
If you saw me before university, a post on a facebook group saying: I need friends. or something, would have been way outside of my comfort zone, as I have always struggled interacting with others.
Nowadays, I'm not so bad, but I still struggle with keeping a conversation going (even with people I have known for a while).

I get that, but give us something, ANYTHING.

"You play League?"

"Any Blackpink fans here?"

Seriously, anything. I don't need a dating profile but even something to make someone interested.

I am human, I am lonely. PM Me. <---- That's all I can see.

EDIT It also puts the onus of making friendships entirely on us.  "I need friends. I'll be chillin here, waiting for y'all to roll in."

Yeah. I agree completely. No matter how socially awkward or shy or whatever you might be, you can still put in a little bit of work.

Circumstance: Today, in a huge cafe. It is the size of 2 villas put together, 3 floors. Maybe 1/3 full at most. (lots of places all over)

I am there with 5 other people at a large table playing a board game and having our coffee. I can hear people yelling from the other side of the building and laughing. A guy behind on speakerphone talking on the phone. We are not being loud or anything over the top IMO. After 10 min a lady from 2 tables comes over to tell us to be quiet.... We obviously obliged and tried to keep it down but why is it that she just didn't move to the other side of the building? Why did she not go over to any of the Koreans making noise right beside her?

 I mean, I guess this is a rhetorical question and also just a rant but wtf....

Circumstance: Today, in a huge cafe. It is the size of 2 villas put together, 3 floors. Maybe 1/3 full at most. (lots of places all over)

I am there with 5 other people at a large table playing a board game and having our coffee. I can hear people yelling from the other side of the building and laughing. A guy behind on speakerphone talking on the phone. We are not being loud or anything over the top IMO. After 10 min a lady from 2 tables comes over to tell us to be quiet.... We obviously obliged and tried to keep it down but why is it that she just didn't move to the other side of the building? Why did she not go over to any of the Koreans making noise right beside her?

 I mean, I guess this is a rhetorical question and also just a rant but wtf....

Interesting story. Yeah it sounds like she was being selective in who she told off.

On the other hand i was out with a group of native English teachers a week ago and we all went to a Starbucks after our meeting. There were some in our group who were very happy and having a great old time and also talking and laughing loudly. I am always conscious of noise so i looked around feeling like we might be inconveniencing some of the korean customers there enjoying a nice quiet coffee and doing some study.  They all seemed totally oblivious to it. Either they hide their annoyance well or they block it out. I know Korea is a loud place so maybe they accept it. Or maybe there were no  cranky ajumas in the cafe and we looked too intimidating. &#128540;

Circumstance: Today, in a huge cafe. It is the size of 2 villas put together, 3 floors. Maybe 1/3 full at most. (lots of places all over)

I am there with 5 other people at a large table playing a board game and having our coffee. I can hear people yelling from the other side of the building and laughing. A guy behind on speakerphone talking on the phone. We are not being loud or anything over the top IMO. After 10 min a lady from 2 tables comes over to tell us to be quiet.... We obviously obliged and tried to keep it down but why is it that she just didn't move to the other side of the building? Why did she not go over to any of the Koreans making noise right beside her?

 I mean, I guess this is a rhetorical question and also just a rant but wtf....

Interesting story. Yeah it sounds like she was being selective in who she told off.

On the other hand i was out with a group of native English teachers a week ago and we all went to a Starbucks after our meeting. There were some in our group who were very happy and having a great old time and also talking and laughing loudly. I am always conscious of noise so i looked around feeling like we might be inconveniencing some of the korean customers there enjoying a nice quiet coffee and doing some study.  They all seemed totally oblivious to it. Either they hide their annoyance well or they block it out. I know Korea is a loud place so maybe they accept it. Or maybe there were no  cranky ajumas in the cafe and we looked too intimidating. &#38;#128540;

Yeah I agree with you that people can sometimes get loud and I am usually very aware of it. Just boggles my mind how with all the other noise around, opportunity to relocate and overall no problem being really there that it happened. As mentioned it really wasn't a problem and just a rant. have a great weekend all.

depends. are you canadian or american? sometimes i find those two nationalities to be INSANELY loud in public places. sometimes i have to tell my can/us friends to shut up, as they are clearly being inappropriately noisy. i guess it's a cultural thing?*

*yes, i know, not all canadians/americans are like this, but this is my general experience

depends. are you canadian or american? sometimes i find those two nationalities to be INSANELY loud in public places. sometimes i have to tell my can/us friends to shut up, as they are clearly being inappropriately noisy. i guess it's a cultural thing?*

*yes, i know, not all canadians/americans are like this, but this is my general experience

Yes, I am Canadian. I also agree with you that NA people can be overly loud and I usually call them out on it.  I think I covered these bases in my OP. We were not being overly loud. There were multiple places to move to, overtly loud Koreans within distance and I could hear people from the other side of the huge building.

then yeah, they were just being dickheads.

saw someone complaining on facebook the other day that they were smoking among several other koreans, but an older korean lady came over to her - and only her - to tell her she can't smoke there, ignoring the korean smokers right next to her. sometimes you can't win

I've got FOMO and regret selling at 8100 dollars

then yeah, they were just being dickheads.

saw someone complaining on facebook the other day that they were smoking among several other koreans, but an older korean lady came over to her - and only her - to tell her she can't smoke there, ignoring the korean smokers right next to her. sometimes you can't win

What's the problem with older Korean ladies all about. Will the younger generation become like that in 25 years or so? Maybe it's dying out.

haha yeah i wonder that. same with the older guys. wonder how similar/different this generation will be when they're old

The older people get...the more...

Circumstance: Today, in a huge cafe. It is the size of 2 villas put together, 3 floors. Maybe 1/3 full at most. (lots of places all over)

I am there with 5 other people at a large table playing a board game and having our coffee. I can hear people yelling from the other side of the building and laughing. A guy behind on speakerphone talking on the phone. We are not being loud or anything over the top IMO. After 10 min a lady from 2 tables comes over to tell us to be quiet.... We obviously obliged and tried to keep it down but why is it that she just didn't move to the other side of the building? Why did she not go over to any of the Koreans making noise right beside her?

 I mean, I guess this is a rhetorical question and also just a rant but wtf....

Korean 'jeong', maybe?  I had a Korean friend tell me that a reason that Koreans are noisy in groups is to show other Koreans what a great time they're having, how well they're bonding and what great mates they are.  'Jeong' overload!!  Artificially so, most of the time.  If the other Koreans were really noisy, then why should another Korean burst their 'jeong' bubble.  You're just an easy target as you ain't got no 'jeong'. 

I remember a while back being in 'SeolBing' in Shinchon with my Korean friend and there was a table of 6 or so young Koreans (20s) next to us, and they were unreal with their over-reaction to jokes, smacking the table, ridiculous over the top laughing, shouting out answers, that stupid clapping when someone makes a joke.  Most of it seemed so over the top as to just be a show of what good mates they were.  Even my Korean friend was shaking his head at how ridiculous their noise was.   

Circumstance: Today, in a huge cafe. It is the size of 2 villas put together, 3 floors. Maybe 1/3 full at most. (lots of places all over)

I am there with 5 other people at a large table playing a board game and having our coffee. I can hear people yelling from the other side of the building and laughing. A guy behind on speakerphone talking on the phone. We are not being loud or anything over the top IMO. After 10 min a lady from 2 tables comes over to tell us to be quiet.... We obviously obliged and tried to keep it down but why is it that she just didn't move to the other side of the building? Why did she not go over to any of the Koreans making noise right beside her?

 I mean, I guess this is a rhetorical question and also just a rant but wtf....

Korean 'jeong', maybe?  I had a Korean friend tell me that a reason that Koreans are noisy in groups is to show other Koreans what a great time they're having, how well they're bonding and what great mates they are.  'Jeong' overload!!  Artificially so, most of the time.  If the other Koreans were really noisy, then why should another Korean burst their 'jeong' bubble.  You're just an easy target as you ain't got no 'jeong'. 

I remember a while back being in 'SeolBing' in Shinchon with my Korean friend and there was a table of 6 or so young Koreans (20s) next to us, and they were unreal with their over-reaction to jokes, smacking the table, ridiculous over the top laughing, shouting out answers, that stupid clapping when someone makes a joke.  Most of it seemed so over the top as to just be a show of what good mates they were.  Even my Korean friend was shaking his head at how ridiculous their noise was.   

I've seen this too. Each culture has its issues, but yeah, Korean culture places a truly MASSIVE emphasise on pretenses.

I've seen this too. Each culture has its issues, but yeah, Korean culture places a truly MASSIVE emphasise on pretenses.

Hence, when eating a fairly standard ddeokbokki for a tv program, they will act like it is the single greatest meal they've ever had in their life.

Bi-yearly reminder of Crab Man.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L_wv8hNCYK0&

Circumstance: Today, in a huge cafe. It is the size of 2 villas put together, 3 floors. Maybe 1/3 full at most. (lots of places all over)

I am there with 5 other people at a large table playing a board game and having our coffee. I can hear people yelling from the other side of the building and laughing. A guy behind on speakerphone talking on the phone. We are not being loud or anything over the top IMO. After 10 min a lady from 2 tables comes over to tell us to be quiet.... We obviously obliged and tried to keep it down but why is it that she just didn't move to the other side of the building? Why did she not go over to any of the Koreans making noise right beside her?

 I mean, I guess this is a rhetorical question and also just a rant but wtf....

I have a story similar to that too.
In my 2nd year in Korea, I was on the bus to my travel school. Another foreign teacher was on the bus, we were sitting together and talking and were the quietest people on the bus.
We were near the back, and most of the other people were up the front. Anyway, some Korean group was really loud, to the point we could barely hear ourselves talking. Eventually, this Korean guy gets up, comes over to us, and screams something in Korean. Then goes and sits back down. We try being a bit quieter but, he keeps looking back to see if we are talking. Eventually the lady behind him, comes over to us, and based on her hand gestures, tries to explain, that the man wants us to be quiet.
We just nod like, ok ok, and carry on.

The man, now comes over to us again, and grabs the collar of my shirt and looks like he is going to attack us. Me and the other foreign teacher pull out our phones and start recording the man. Once he saw us filming him, he lets me go, and goes and sits back down. He didn't do or try anything after that.

I can't think of one culture that doesn't have its loud moments. Singling out North Americans is ridiculous.