Quote from: wherever dreaming goes on April 17, 2019, 11:59:36 amIt's like these people were born without a filter or regard for other peoples feelings. That's different cultures for ya
It's like these people were born without a filter or regard for other peoples feelings.
Quote from: oglop on April 16, 2019, 07:56:57 pmyep. an old co-worker had 2 babies, and returned to work (same school). some old guy she'd never talked to before said (on her first day back), "you've got fat. you should diet". who are these people..Yip! It seems the norm to comment on appearance. My ex principal would often comment on my ex co-teacher, she was young (always seems to happen to the younger ones it seems to me) and he would say stuff like, "Did you buy your top or did your mom knit it? " and then my co-T never wore it again. Over the winter he would say stuff like, "You've put on weight recently, you've been eating a lot this winter." And then she became obsessed with losing weight. I got severely sick one time and lost a bunch of weight to the point of looking anorexic, my eyes and cheeks were sunken, and my co-T would mention she wishes she could get sick too so she can lose weight like me, an I started receiving compliments from people that I looked good. When I returned home though, it was the opposite and people were freaked out over how I looked and genuinely became worried about my health. This isn't just Korea though. A colleague of mine in Japan was told to button up her top button and told that she's too flat chested to be showing off her chest (by another younger colleague). When all she was showing off was just a couple of inches below her collar bone. It's like these people were born without a filter or regard for other peoples feelings.
yep. an old co-worker had 2 babies, and returned to work (same school). some old guy she'd never talked to before said (on her first day back), "you've got fat. you should diet". who are these people..
Quote from: JVPrice on April 17, 2019, 12:05:30 pmQuote from: wherever dreaming goes on April 17, 2019, 11:59:36 amIt's like these people were born without a filter or regard for other peoples feelings. That's different cultures for yaI didn't know that being a disgusting, rude, intrusive piece of human garbage was "culture." On Korea's behalf, I object.Bullshit to anyone who says "oh it's just cultural" for the never-ending nasty comments women get about how they look. NO. Do they walk up to the male teachers and make negative comments on their appearance? They do not. Seems to be all they ever say to men is oooooh you are sooooo handsooooommmme merely because you are A) foreign, and B) alive. No. Stop using "culture" to excuse workplace harassment. This is not cultural.
Quote from: AWVM_HXE on April 17, 2019, 08:10:34 pmQuote from: JVPrice on April 17, 2019, 12:05:30 pmQuote from: wherever dreaming goes on April 17, 2019, 11:59:36 amIt's like these people were born without a filter or regard for other peoples feelings. That's different cultures for yaI didn't know that being a disgusting, rude, intrusive piece of human garbage was "culture." On Korea's behalf, I object.Bullshit to anyone who says "oh it's just cultural" for the never-ending nasty comments women get about how they look. NO. Do they walk up to the male teachers and make negative comments on their appearance? They do not. Seems to be all they ever say to men is oooooh you are sooooo handsooooommmme merely because you are A) foreign, and B) alive. No. Stop using "culture" to excuse workplace harassment. This is not cultural.1) Rude is a cultural construct. Both the English and the French see each other as “rude”; the English never say what they mean, and the French are too direct.2) As a man, I get called “Fat”... frequently. My usual response is, (with a smile) do you want to wrestle me? Haven’t had any takers yet.
korean people know it's not acceptable to say things like that to each other. they know it's rude to do so. the only "cultural" thing here is that people know they can't really say anything back if the dickhead is older or higher "status". so, i guess it's culture in so far as, "if you're older, you can be a prick without anybody calling you out on it"
then why does it only work one way...with only the senior commenting on the junior? how many times have you heard a teacher tell the vice principal or principal "you look tired today"?
It's pretty easy to observe that there's a massive cultural gap between Korean people, particularly the old and the young.
well, yes, it's different if you're friends. of course.but saying, "you've got fat. you should lose weight" to somebody you've never spoken to, isn't acceptablea principal commenting negatively on a young female co-worker's clothes, and embarrassing them in front of the office, isn't acceptable
Quote from: oglop on April 18, 2019, 11:27:16 amwell, yes, it's different if you're friends. of course.but saying, "you've got fat. you should lose weight" to somebody you've never spoken to, isn't acceptablea principal commenting negatively on a young female co-worker's clothes, and embarrassing them in front of the office, isn't acceptableBy what standard?As a kid, I was incredibly thin and many relatives, in particular, commented on and poked fun at my appearance. I developed a bit of a complex (all buff and ripped now). At that young age, I couldn't really relate with how fat people took such massive offense when they were ridiculed and people couldn't understand why I got upset when I was made fun of for being thin. Expand this to a national level and you'll understand what I'm saying.During the 1950s, Americans were drinking, eating and smoking in an orgy of decadence. It was during this time that it was pretty common for women to be criticized for being too fat. Eating disorders ensued and since then, awareness has been raised on the seriousness of eating disorders, self-esteem etc.In the 1950's Koreans were scouring the hills for anything edible and truly celebrating an infant living past 100 days. Meat, honey and sugar were unfathomable luxuries, which is why I still get plenty of quizzical looks when I refuse food, particularly meat offerings. Essentially, Korea is in 1960s America. It's starting to click that going out of your way to embarrass a person about their weight or appearance isn't acceptable. Old people like that principal are stuck in their ways, eating disorders just aren't part of his history.He's a proper asshole, yes, but he's also a product of his own culture, not ours.
Quote from: Aristocrat on April 18, 2019, 12:00:17 pmQuote from: oglop on April 18, 2019, 11:27:16 amwell, yes, it's different if you're friends. of course.but saying, "you've got fat. you should lose weight" to somebody you've never spoken to, isn't acceptablea principal commenting negatively on a young female co-worker's clothes, and embarrassing them in front of the office, isn't acceptableBy what standard?As a kid, I was incredibly thin and many relatives, in particular, commented on and poked fun at my appearance. I developed a bit of a complex (all buff and ripped now). At that young age, I couldn't really relate with how fat people took such massive offense when they were ridiculed and people couldn't understand why I got upset when I was made fun of for being thin. Expand this to a national level and you'll understand what I'm saying.During the 1950s, Americans were drinking, eating and smoking in an orgy of decadence. It was during this time that it was pretty common for women to be criticized for being too fat. Eating disorders ensued and since then, awareness has been raised on the seriousness of eating disorders, self-esteem etc.In the 1950's Koreans were scouring the hills for anything edible and truly celebrating an infant living past 100 days. Meat, honey and sugar were unfathomable luxuries, which is why I still get plenty of quizzical looks when I refuse food, particularly meat offerings. Essentially, Korea is in 1960s America. It's starting to click that going out of your way to embarrass a person about their weight or appearance isn't acceptable. Old people like that principal are stuck in their ways, eating disorders just aren't part of his history.He's a proper asshole, yes, but he's also a product of his own culture, not ours. I do agree with you here; fair view of it. But, and I hate to bring it up, didn't you go out of your way recently to embarrass your coteacher after she asked quite an innocent question?
Quote from: alexisalex on April 18, 2019, 01:16:34 pmQuote from: Aristocrat on April 18, 2019, 12:00:17 pmQuote from: oglop on April 18, 2019, 11:27:16 amwell, yes, it's different if you're friends. of course.but saying, "you've got fat. you should lose weight" to somebody you've never spoken to, isn't acceptablea principal commenting negatively on a young female co-worker's clothes, and embarrassing them in front of the office, isn't acceptableBy what standard?...I do agree with you here; fair view of it. But, and I hate to bring it up, didn't you go out of your way recently to embarrass your coteacher after she asked quite an innocent question?Which question was that?
Quote from: Aristocrat on April 18, 2019, 12:00:17 pmQuote from: oglop on April 18, 2019, 11:27:16 amwell, yes, it's different if you're friends. of course.but saying, "you've got fat. you should lose weight" to somebody you've never spoken to, isn't acceptablea principal commenting negatively on a young female co-worker's clothes, and embarrassing them in front of the office, isn't acceptableBy what standard?...I do agree with you here; fair view of it. But, and I hate to bring it up, didn't you go out of your way recently to embarrass your coteacher after she asked quite an innocent question?
Quote from: oglop on April 18, 2019, 11:27:16 amwell, yes, it's different if you're friends. of course.but saying, "you've got fat. you should lose weight" to somebody you've never spoken to, isn't acceptablea principal commenting negatively on a young female co-worker's clothes, and embarrassing them in front of the office, isn't acceptableBy what standard?...
This happened ages ago.An Ex-CT asked me if South Africans can speak English... This was the 3rd time I'd been asked this question and she was being rather condescending. I replied by asking her what she majored in at University, she replied English.I asked her at what age she began studying English. "Around the 4th grade." she replied.I asked her if she attended English hagwons, she did, for a number of years.I then asked her what type of English education she received if, after 8yrs of English education at schools and hagwons, as well as 4yrs studying for a university degree to teach English, she wasn't aware that South Africa is home to a few million native English speakers.
Here it is. Fair enough if she was being condescending but you put the boot in quite hard to embarrass (humiliate?) her...Quote from: Aristocrat on April 07, 2019, 12:10:34 amThis happened ages ago.An Ex-CT asked me if South Africans can speak English... This was the 3rd time I'd been asked this question and she was being rather condescending. I replied by asking her what she majored in at University, she replied English.I asked her at what age she began studying English. "Around the 4th grade." she replied.I asked her if she attended English hagwons, she did, for a number of years.I then asked her what type of English education she received if, after 8yrs of English education at schools and hagwons, as well as 4yrs studying for a university degree to teach English, she wasn't aware that South Africa is home to a few million native English speakers.
Quote from: alexisalex on April 18, 2019, 03:23:06 pmHere it is. Fair enough if she was being condescending but you put the boot in quite hard to embarrass (humiliate?) her...Quote from: Aristocrat on April 07, 2019, 12:10:34 amThis happened ages ago.An Ex-CT asked me if South Africans can speak English... This was the 3rd time I'd been asked this question and she was being rather condescending. I replied by asking her what she majored in at University, she replied English.I asked her at what age she began studying English. "Around the 4th grade." she replied.I asked her if she attended English hagwons, she did, for a number of years.I then asked her what type of English education she received if, after 8yrs of English education at schools and hagwons, as well as 4yrs studying for a university degree to teach English, she wasn't aware that South Africa is home to a few million native English speakers. holy shit aristocrat you a savvvvage my dude
Quote from: Aristocrat on April 18, 2019, 01:50:55 pmQuote from: alexisalex on April 18, 2019, 01:16:34 pmQuote from: Aristocrat on April 18, 2019, 12:00:17 pmQuote from: oglop on April 18, 2019, 11:27:16 amwell, yes, it's different if you're friends. of course.but saying, "you've got fat. you should lose weight" to somebody you've never spoken to, isn't acceptablea principal commenting negatively on a young female co-worker's clothes, and embarrassing them in front of the office, isn't acceptableBy what standard?...I do agree with you here; fair view of it. But, and I hate to bring it up, didn't you go out of your way recently to embarrass your coteacher after she asked quite an innocent question?Which question was that?Here it is. Fair enough if she was being condescending but you put the boot in quite hard to embarrass (humiliate?) her...Quote from: Aristocrat on April 07, 2019, 12:10:34 amThis happened ages ago.An Ex-CT asked me if South Africans can speak English... This was the 3rd time I'd been asked this question and she was being rather condescending. I replied by asking her what she majored in at University, she replied English.I asked her at what age she began studying English. "Around the 4th grade." she replied.I asked her if she attended English hagwons, she did, for a number of years.I then asked her what type of English education she received if, after 8yrs of English education at schools and hagwons, as well as 4yrs studying for a university degree to teach English, she wasn't aware that South Africa is home to a few million native English speakers.