RANTING/VENTING MEGATHREAD 3.0

A sixth grade teacher has changed the 6th period class on Tuesday to first period on two occasions this past month. Both times, she asked me the day before so it was fine.

Today, at 8.45, a student from her class came to my office to say that from now on, the teacher wanted to have our class in the sixth period. Seemed a bit odd, but the teacher is very anxious, so I figured she just wanted to clarify everything.

A few minutes later, the student came back out of breath, explaining that his teacher wants our class to be in the first period from now on. I've complained many times about not having proper notice of schedule changes, and was in the process of eating breakfast and drinking coffee, so I told the kid to tell his teacher that I was eating breakfast and I'm not going to accept schedule changes without being told the day before. Ten minutes is not acceptable notice.

I do kind of feel sorry for that teacher as she's extremely anxious and cannot control her own class. She's even had parents insulting her over Kakao Talk which brought her to tears. But in the Korean workplace, you have to draw firm lines unless you want the crap to roll downhill onto you.

To just play devil's advocate; didn't you anticipate that the class might be moved again since it had already happened twice in the past month?  In that situation I would have waited until you knew for sure before tucking into a full blown meal at your desk during work time.

Has there been any fallout?  Because surely the message is "StillInKorea didn't come to class because he was eating his breakfast (during work time) and refused to stop". 

Aristocrat and Dave Stepz are talking about bullying.  Did she really bully you? lol  I just think that however annoying last minute changes are (and I know they are!!) we should try and be flexible because it is a different culture.

I think that spitting the dummy just makes you come across really badly to your coworkers.

I'd hazard a guess that you haven't been here long.
I mentioned bullying because that's what it's related to. The culture, in Asia, Japan and Korea is to be non-confrontational in order to save face and not put others in a position to lose face. When being bullied or being obstructed by a problem, or issue, that will lead to confrontation, what Confucianism teaches is to:

A - Run away
B - Ignore the problem and/or endure it
C - Shift the responsibility on someone else or blame someone else
D - Play the victim

The homeroom teacher has opted for 'C', she probably got some BS errands to run for parents or God knows who as she's too weak and meek to refuse... option 'B'

Be very, very careful when doing 'favours' for Koreans at work... personal life, that's your business. Trust me, they're well aware that you're trying to be mindful of the culture and don't want to offend. Many will take full advantage of it, never has the proverb "Give him a finger and he'll take the whole arm" been more appropriate.
When my wife first came to Korea, the school got her to teach 26 classes! The kept saying there wasn't a budget for overtime and that the previous NET did it and everyone loved her, they even tried to get her to "hang out with the students" during lunch, in the English class. They specifically called it "hanging out" so they didn't have to register as teaching time.

Be professional and have your boundaries.

But there's a huge difference between your wife's situation and StillInKorea's.  She was being asked to do things not in her contract and well outside the realms of reasonable "extras".  I'm all for standing your ground there and having boundaries.

StillInKorea refused to teach a class because he was annoyed at the short notice.  He literally refused to do his job.  A world of difference!

I don't get this crusade to try to change Korean culture.  Trust me, the lesson that StillInKorea thinks he taught his co-teacher is totally lost on her.  She's not going to be hit with the epiphany "You know what?  This foreigner has really opened my eyes.  My culture really is sh*t isn't it?!!"

I don't get this crusade to try to change Korean culture.  Trust me, the lesson that StillInKorea thinks he taught his co-teacher is totally lost on her. She's not going to be hit with the epiphany "You know what?  This foreigner has really opened my eyes.  My culture really is sh*t isn't it?!!"

One of the best points i've seen on here in a while.

what Confucianism teaches is to:

A - Run away
B - Ignore the problem and/or endure it
C - Shift the responsibility on someone else or blame someone else
D - Play the victim

Dude, you could say that about anywhere. And there's plenty of conflict here. While there can be tendencies or greater odds of something happening, you're statement is far too over-broad and generalized.

Half of America blames the other half for those very things whenever they yell at each other about politics. Not sure how much "Confucianism" has to do with it in that case.

Humid today.

Humid today.

Not until cyanae says so

AvecPommesFrites,

You have received a warning for harassment and trolling. Please review the terms and conditions of Waygook.org http://waygook.org/index.php/topic,2425.0.html and cease harassing users otherwise we will take further action.

Quote from: AvecPommesFrites on June 15, 2018, 08:06:04 AM
Don't eat yellow snow.

Never call the police for anything in Korea. If you see someone getting murdered just, smile, nod and proceed.

Those low calorie banana milkshakes have like 1 less calorie than the full fat version. Don't fall for the low calorie hype.

DeMartino can literally say anything he wants and derail as many threads till the end of mankind on waygook.org and escape any form of punishment.

Don't go to the cinema before 10pm in Korea, EVER.

Really?? By taking potshots at DeMartino like this you could potentially do the same thing you accuse him of doing. Targeting speicific users and insulting them throughout multiple unrelated threads like you do is considered harassment. Drop your petty grudge, quit your trolling and flame war baiting. If you have a problem with future posts from DeMartino (thread derailing or what ever) report them.
 
Regards,
gagevt

I really get the Impression Gagevt doesn't like me. +45 points for literally saying DeMartino can say anything he wants and not get banned.

How is that harrassing someone or attacking them? It's a simple statement on topic in a thread.

I've been well and truly mugged off by 1 mod here. None of the others warn me and I even had a post pass moderation by a random mod later be flagged by Gagevt and warned. Who's got the petty grudge here?

A sixth grade teacher has changed the 6th period class on Tuesday to first period on two occasions this past month. Both times, she asked me the day before so it was fine.

Today, at 8.45, a student from her class came to my office to say that from now on, the teacher wanted to have our class in the sixth period. Seemed a bit odd, but the teacher is very anxious, so I figured she just wanted to clarify everything.

A few minutes later, the student came back out of breath, explaining that his teacher wants our class to be in the first period from now on. I've complained many times about not having proper notice of schedule changes, and was in the process of eating breakfast and drinking coffee, so I told the kid to tell his teacher that I was eating breakfast and I'm not going to accept schedule changes without being told the day before. Ten minutes is not acceptable notice.

I do kind of feel sorry for that teacher as she's extremely anxious and cannot control her own class. She's even had parents insulting her over Kakao Talk which brought her to tears. But in the Korean workplace, you have to draw firm lines unless you want the crap to roll downhill onto you.

To just play devil's advocate; didn't you anticipate that the class might be moved again since it had already happened twice in the past month?  In that situation I would have waited until you knew for sure before tucking into a full blown meal at your desk during work time.

Has there been any fallout?  Because surely the message is "StillInKorea didn't come to class because he was eating his breakfast (during work time) and refused to stop". 

Aristocrat and Dave Stepz are talking about bullying.  Did she really bully you? lol  I just think that however annoying last minute changes are (and I know they are!!) we should try and be flexible because it is a different culture.

I think that spitting the dummy just makes you come across really badly to your coworkers.

I'd hazard a guess that you haven't been here long.
I mentioned bullying because that's what it's related to. The culture, in Asia, Japan and Korea is to be non-confrontational in order to save face and not put others in a position to lose face. When being bullied or being obstructed by a problem, or issue, that will lead to confrontation, what Confucianism teaches is to:

A - Run away
B - Ignore the problem and/or endure it
C - Shift the responsibility on someone else or blame someone else
D - Play the victim

The homeroom teacher has opted for 'C', she probably got some BS errands to run for parents or God knows who as she's too weak and meek to refuse... option 'B'

Be very, very careful when doing 'favours' for Koreans at work... personal life, that's your business. Trust me, they're well aware that you're trying to be mindful of the culture and don't want to offend. Many will take full advantage of it, never has the proverb "Give him a finger and he'll take the whole arm" been more appropriate.
When my wife first came to Korea, the school got her to teach 26 classes! The kept saying there wasn't a budget for overtime and that the previous NET did it and everyone loved her, they even tried to get her to "hang out with the students" during lunch, in the English class. They specifically called it "hanging out" so they didn't have to register as teaching time.

Be professional and have your boundaries.

But there's a huge difference between your wife's situation and StillInKorea's.  She was being asked to do things not in her contract and well outside the realms of reasonable "extras".  I'm all for standing your ground there and having boundaries.

StillInKorea refused to teach a class because he was annoyed at the short notice.  He literally refused to do his job.  A world of difference!

I don't get this crusade to try to change Korean culture.  Trust me, the lesson that StillInKorea thinks he taught his co-teacher is totally lost on her.  She's not going to be hit with the epiphany "You know what?  This foreigner has really opened my eyes.  My culture really is sh*t isn't it?!!"

I did not refuse to do my job. I taught the class at the time designated according to my schedule. I'd have been willing to change the time with reasonable, polite notice.

I've been in Korea for a long time. You clearly haven't. One gets to a point where it's not just a matter of cultural differences, but rather about having some respect for yourself. I'm not a snobby imperialist who loves his home country and expects the whole world to be like it. However, I'm also not going to accept poor treatment out of fear of offending cultural sensibilities. I follow my own moral code independent of Western or Korean culture.

You're clearly new, as Aristocrat said, and it's silly that you're trying to tell us how things should be done with your very limited experience. People like you get taken advantage of, and I'm not willing to let that happen to me. The lesson I wanted to teach my co-worker (homeroom teacher, actually) was not part of some East vs West battle that new people like you are obsessed with, but one of boundaries. She was pushing against them more and more and needed to see that there was a line. As a teacher, you should know how that works.

I hate it here so much, I feel like such a ****** jackass for picking a 12 month contract. I'm 4 months in and I'm having such a shit time and there's so much time left until I can go.

I refuse to do a runner but **** I hate this

So far I've been:
Headbutted in the spine
Purposely shoved walking down the hall and laughed at when I stumbled
Had students try to pull me off the floor while rearranging books by my ponytail because I wouldn't get up and unlock my computer
Had a kid post up to me because I tried to take his phone
Been body bumped off my own computer multiple times
Had the bathroom sign thrown into my room with nose bleed tissues

I'm so mentally exhausted and reporting things just made it worse for me

If you're 100% miserable, quit.  30-day notice would give you time to get your things in order.  Or...  There is nothing illegal about pulling a runner.  Not too classy, but it's your life.

If you're 100% miserable, quit.  30-day notice would give you time to get your things in order.  Or...  There is nothing illegal about pulling a runner.  Not too classy, but it's your life.

Bingsu should do a midnight run, report everything to the Education Office, and then name and shame her school and co-teacher once she's left the country. The people at her school are absolute scum.

If you're 100% miserable, quit.  30-day notice would give you time to get your things in order.  Or...  There is nothing illegal about pulling a runner.  Not too classy, but it's your life.

Bingsu should do a midnight run, report everything to the Education Office, and then name and shame her school and co-teacher once she's left the country. The people at her school are absolute scum.

My poe knows about the school and about the headbutt, nothing came of it.

I found out yesterday that my school and district office would like to renew my contract, but embedded in the message was this:

Your schools and colleagues appreciate your devotions to every work you do. Most of you have been to your current school more than 2 to 3 years already. The vice principals are concerned about you getting too familiar with your school life. The more you get used to it, the more you need to be careful about every small thing such as being late to school. Please don't be late in the morning without any notice. If you have any urgent situation, let your liaison teacher know in advance so that she or he can report the vice principal.

This was sent to everyone in the district who was up for and achieved renewal during this contract period. Mind you I have never been late to school despite living over an hour’s commute from it. In fact, I’m often the one earliest to the office because of it. The other native teacher at my school has had trouble showing up on time despite living quite close. He has even been talked to about this very issue. The funny thing is he was not up for renewal this period and so was not sent this message (unless it was sent separately without all the renewal information, but I doubt it). Despite being there for five years I still often get called by his name as it is similar but more generic and easier to remember, but I’m worried that I’m getting confused with him THE PERSON too. Of course there could be multiple other teachers who are similarly “too familiar”, but again I doubt it.  That whole first bolded sentence annoys me in it’s own right. Yes, “far better to err on the side of alienation than familiarity. Far better to report them to the Gu-cheong than to speak to them directly.” (To be fair, he was talked to directly, and I know that’s not her intended message, though it may be the VPs’...)

I almost want to call her and clarify, but that feels too petty. That and I already called her and said I wouldn’t be renewing after all, which I was kind of made to feel bad about. I can understand her surprise, but I don’t see myself as having done anything wrong in waiting until now to say so. I did express an intent to renew even though I knew there was a good chance I wouldn’t, but I still informed them more than sixty days before the end of my current contract and they haven’t even done the interviews for the new positions yet. And my liaison teacher always understood that I may be moving on to something else.

Anyway, this is not how I wanted to go out, but I shouldn’t have expected any differently 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bingsu, your situation makes me wish there was a Korean yakuza. I wish you the best~

what you gonna do now, donny?

what you gonna do now, donny?

To totally misinterpret your question, I really need to pee but I’m stuck on the bus, so I really don’t know what I’m going to do.

longer term, going back to Wisconsin to work on a nursing degree.

If you're 100% miserable, quit.  30-day notice would give you time to get your things in order.  Or...  There is nothing illegal about pulling a runner.  Not too classy, but it's your life.

Bingsu should do a midnight run, report everything to the Education Office, and then name and shame her school and co-teacher once she's left the country. The people at her school are absolute scum.

My poe knows about the school and about the headbutt, nothing came of it.

Honestly, I would just pack up my bags in the summer vacation if I were in your position with your obviously gentle personality. You're being treated horribly by these people and you don't have it in you (I mean that in a nice way) to respond with the venom they deserve.

A quick search of Google shows numerous animal shelters throughout Korea who might be able to help you avoid abandoning the cats you rescued, which I assume to be your main concern. The people running those places are likely to be more westernised and therefore able to speak at least some English.

If you do leave, don't blame yourself when you inform your school and POE. They need to know that the way they've treated you in unacceptable and that anybody would have taken issue with it.

I hate it here so much, I feel like such a ****** jackass for picking a 12 month contract. I'm 4 months in and I'm having such a shit time and there's so much time left until I can go.

I refuse to do a runner but **** I hate this

So far I've been:
Headbutted in the spine
Purposely shoved walking down the hall and laughed at when I stumbled
Had students try to pull me off the floor while rearranging books by my ponytail because I wouldn't get up and unlock my computer
Had a kid post up to me because I tried to take his phone
Been body bumped off my own computer multiple times
Had the bathroom sign thrown into my room with nose bleed tissues

I'm so mentally exhausted and reporting things just made it worse for me

First, I'm sorry that things are still so hard for you right now, and I feel like I need to state that you should do what's best for your own health and interest. You were dealt a bad hand, so there's no shame in moving on to better pastures.

With that being said, I read your blog, and what you're currently dealing with is classic office bullying. They're trying to get you to quit. BUT... they were probably already trying to get you to do that in the first place. They've just stepped it up a level. Also more than likely there's been false info and rumors flying around about you from day 1. The place is toxic. I'm betting things were and are being said to the kids, too, which would explain some of their incredibly hostile attitudes towards you (especially the bit about the kid calling you a bitter worker and that you should just go back home -- that's something an adult would say, she's probably just regurgitating it). Most of the KTs probably know nothing about you outside of what others are saying, and you can bet that most of that is probably negative. No one at that school was ever your friend. Some were polite towards you, but there was animosity and hostility always there. None of that is your fault.

If you still want to fight the good fight, you'll need to give yourself some important *me* time first so that you'll have the energy to build up your second wind. It always gets worse before it gets better, especially in places like that.

I know I keep harping about it, but log everything. Record everything. Invest in hidden cams for your classroom, and audio record ANYTIME you go into a room with Koreans or interact with a Korean at your school. And remember that the school literally, literally set you up for failure. That isn't your fault. How they're choosing to treat you isn't your fault. You were walking into a shitstorm that's been going on long before you got there.

Whether you ultimately decide to leave or stay, you're not wrong either way. You don't need to put up and deal with this bullshit, especially if it's become super detrimental to you. If you don't feel like you have it in you to punch back as hard as you're going to need to, that's okay. You shouldn't have to, and there's no shame in leaving. I'd just advice, should you decide to leave, to gather as much evidence about the school's mistreatment of you as possible to submit to the POE on your way out, just as a final middle finger farewell.

Keep us posted, Bingsu, I wish you the best.

I hate it here so much, I feel like such a ****** jackass for picking a 12 month contract. I'm 4 months in and I'm having such a shit time and there's so much time left until I can go.

I refuse to do a runner but **** I hate this

So far I've been:
Headbutted in the spine
Purposely shoved walking down the hall and laughed at when I stumbled
Had students try to pull me off the floor while rearranging books by my ponytail because I wouldn't get up and unlock my computer
Had a kid post up to me because I tried to take his phone
Been body bumped off my own computer multiple times
Had the bathroom sign thrown into my room with nose bleed tissues

I'm so mentally exhausted and reporting things just made it worse for me

First, I'm sorry that things are still so hard for you right now, and I feel like I need to state that you should do what's best for your own health and interest. You were dealt a bad hand, so there's no shame in moving on to better pastures.

With that being said, I read your blog, and what you're currently dealing with is classic office bullying. They're trying to get you to quit. BUT... they were probably already trying to get you to do that in the first place. They've just stepped it up a level. Also more than likely there's been false info and rumors flying around about you from day 1. The place is toxic. I'm betting things were and are being said to the kids, too, which would explain some of their incredibly hostile attitudes towards you (especially the bit about the kid calling you a bitter worker and that you should just go back home -- that's something an adult would say, she's probably just regurgitating it). Most of the KTs probably know nothing about you outside of what others are saying, and you can bet that most of that is probably negative. No one at that school was ever your friend. Some were polite towards you, but there was animosity and hostility always there. None of that is your fault.

If you still want to fight the good fight, you'll need to give yourself some important *me* time first so that you'll have the energy to build up your second wind. It always gets worse before it gets better, especially in places like that.

I know I keep harping about it, but log everything. Record everything. Invest in hidden cams for your classroom, and audio record ANYTIME you go into a room with Koreans or interact with a Korean at your school. And remember that the school literally, literally set you up for failure. That isn't your fault. How they're choosing to treat you isn't your fault. You were walking into a shitstorm that's been going on long before you got there.

Whether you ultimately decide to leave or stay, you're not wrong either way. You don't need to put up and deal with this bullshit, especially if it's become super detrimental to you. If you don't feel like you have it in you to punch back as hard as you're going to need to, that's okay. You shouldn't have to, and there's no shame in leaving. I'd just advice, should you decide to leave, to gather as much evidence about the school's mistreatment of you as possible to submit to the POE on your way out, just as a final middle finger farewell.

Keep us posted, Bingsu, I wish you the best.

Thank you. This really really means a lot to me, I can't express it enough. I'm trying to push through all of this and I'm hoping my summer vacation gives me a big enough reset to kick the doors down when the new semester starts.

I really need to pee but I’m stuck on the bus, so I really don’t know what I’m going to do.

Midway between the previous stop and the next stop, I press the button to get off. Like a good commuter I release my safety belt and proceed to the front of the bus, tap my card, and wait precariously by the door, hoping the driver doesn't haphazardly step on the breaks and send me unrestrained through the windshield, so that he has to stop for as little time as possible to let me off. I watch as he rolls by the bus stop as he talks to his drinking buddy hands-free on his cell phone. He seems to be glancing over at the stop to see if there are any passengers that might need picking up, but I give him the benefit of the doubt and assume that he's just trying to pull up in front of the departing bus. He says something to me but I don't hear him because he doesn't break from his phone conversation or change his tone of voice or make any indication that he's now addressing me. He says it again, a bit louder. "You want to get off?" I'm flabbergasted.

Yes. Yes, I want to get off the fecking bus. Could I make it any more fecking obvious for you?

He lets me off 20 feet beyond the stop and I rush to a nearby Cafe Bene to relieve myself.

I hate it here so much, I feel like such a ****** jackass for picking a 12 month contract. I'm 4 months in and I'm having such a shit time and there's so much time left until I can go.

I refuse to do a runner but **** I hate this

So far I've been:
Headbutted in the spine
Purposely shoved walking down the hall and laughed at when I stumbled
Had students try to pull me off the floor while rearranging books by my ponytail because I wouldn't get up and unlock my computer
Had a kid post up to me because I tried to take his phone
Been body bumped off my own computer multiple times
Had the bathroom sign thrown into my room with nose bleed tissues

I'm so mentally exhausted and reporting things just made it worse for me

Yours is the example I would use if I wanted to tell someone the downsides of teaching here. It's awful Bingsu. As everyone else has said, you either need to start fighting harder, or leave them. Some problems are better left behind. Do what's best for your own sake! I'm rooting for you!

Bingsu if I were you I would tell the POE contact honestly, either they move you over break or you'll quit. It's not impossible for them to do. They can sort it out before the new term starts.

Apart from the bullying, how are classes? Is it easier now you're teaching the normal classes?

Can you really stand another 8 months or whatever there?