RANTING/VENTING MEGATHREAD 3.0

Wait - what? High school kids are literally hitting on you that flagrantly? That's messed up. Like - extremely messed up. I'm not sure what other men's experiences were like when they were in high school, but I would've been too intimidated to pull that kind of thing with girls a few years older, nevertheless a grown ass teacher.

Do they creep this hard on other women that you've noticed, or is it just you?

It's just me that I've seen so far, and I'm pretty sure it's because they buy into the stereotype that foreign women are all sex-crazed and will sleep with anyone who compliments and expresses interest in them. And the fact that their school is located so close to my school is like an open opportunity for them, especially since they know I leave before my students do so they have a chance to speak privately with me (it's still safe, though, it's by a busy road).

It doesn't happen all year round, but it's literally at the beginning of every semester that a group of boys (never less than five) will slink around my school hoping for a chance to chat me up. If I don't manage to avoid them, and if I don't somehow manage to shut down their attempts before then, it inevitably leads into them telling me that they're virgins and that I'm very pretty. I haven't told my school about it because it only happens once or twice every semester, and it's always different boys, but I'm thinking that maybe I should. Sometimes I get discouraged about saying anything about this sort of thing, though, because people here are so quick to tell me that I'm probably only misunderstanding the situation. And also because I don't want to stress my coTs out over something that I've managed to handle on my own so far. xD

When my ex cheated on me a co-worker suggested it was because I was a foreigner, so perhaps he thought I would be okay with it. 

When my ex cheated on me a co-worker suggested it was because I was a foreigner, so perhaps he thought I would be okay with it. 

Is your coworker male or female?

Because Korean males are all very much aware of how rampant the cheating is here, even with K-girlfriends/wives. But while at least half of them think cheating is fine, they're also aware of how the rest of the world views it so they try to keep it secret outside of their male/friend groups.

So I'd only buy that particular explanation if the ex was really open about cheating on you, as if he expected you to be okay with that. xD

When my ex cheated on me a co-worker suggested it was because I was a foreigner, so perhaps he thought I would be okay with it. 

Is your coworker male or female?

Because Korean males are all very much aware of how rampant the cheating is here, even with K-girlfriends/wives. But while at least half of them think cheating is fine, they're also aware of how the rest of the world views it so they try to keep it secret outside of their male/friend groups.

So I'd only buy that particular explanation if the ex was really open about cheating on you, as if he expected you to be okay with that. xD

Female. I think that made it worse

Female. I think that made it worse

Yeah, I kind of figured. xD They either buy into the stereotype, too, or are at least aware of it, and that can/does affect their judgment and critical thinking perspectives in given situations. But they're also usually a lot more naive about how bad the cheating is here, too.

I don't think it ever occurred to your coworker that the kind of person who would cheat on his/her foreign partner would also be the same kind of person to cheat on his/her Korean partner, and that there's no misunderstanding there. It's the same across the board. If she honestly believes that your nationality/ethnicity had any part in your ex's decision and actions then maybe she has a lot of things she needs to work through about how people in general work.

they try to rub their shoulders against my breasts or their crotches against my shoulder (if I'm sitting). GOD

Ew. Gross.

And it's only going to get worse as they get older and become adults out in the world.

Or it could be that, as what usually happens in societies, people become more responsible and better behaved the older they get.

Or it could be that, as what usually happens in societies, people become more responsible and better behaved the older they get.

No, you're a poopoo face. I'm telling mom.

Or it could be that, as what usually happens in societies, people become more responsible and better behaved the older they get.

Most teenagers who rub their crotches against women (or anyone, for that matter) aren't doing it because of a lack of maturity, same as for teenagers who end up torturing animals or who get involved in gang life. They're doing it because they have severe personality and social problems which are often rooted in other problematic influences (such as home life) completely unrelated to their maturity levels. The only thing their maturity levels have in that fight is in impulse control and in how susceptible they are to outside influences that could end up leading them down that road in the first place, but once that trait has been established in their personalities, it's normally there to stay. So they don't just grow out of it. They just better learn how to hide it, and to become quite a bit more calculating about it.

There's no excusing this as a lack of maturity as this is not considered a normal process in development. Most people, male or female, would never ever think to do something like this, even when they're young and immature. It's actually legally and medically recognized as a deviation from normal development, and is classified as dysfunctional behavior. Some people are just worse than others. People who sexually harass as adults started out sexually harassing people as teenagers first. That's where they started testing it.

To illustrate, most of the gross behavior I experience in this country are from full-grown men. I know they didn't suddenly become that way as adults. It started when they were young. They were basically the kids I was describing in my previous posts.

Or it could be that, as what usually happens in societies, people become more responsible and better behaved the older they get.

Most teenagers who rub their crotches against women (or anyone, for that matter) aren't doing it because of a lack of maturity, same as for teenagers who end up torturing animals or who get involved in gang life. They're doing it because they have severe personality and social problems which are often rooted in other problematic influences (such as home life) completely unrelated to their maturity levels. The only thing their maturity levels have in that fight is in impulse control and in how susceptible they are to outside influences that could end up leading them down that road in the first place, but once that trait has been established in their personalities, it's normally there to stay. So they don't just grow out of it. They just better learn how to hide it, and to become quite a bit more calculating about it.

There's no excusing this as a lack of maturity as this is not considered a normal process in development. Most people, male or female, would never ever think to do something like this, even when they're young and immature. It's actually legally and medically recognized as a deviation from normal development, and is classified as dysfunctional behavior. Some people are just worse than others. People who sexually harass as adults started out sexually harassing people as teenagers first. That's where they started testing it.

To illustrate, most of the gross behavior I experience in this country are from full-grown men. I know they didn't suddenly become that way as adults. It started when they were young. They were basically the kids I was describing in my previous posts.

My two year old likes whipping his penis out in public occasionally, so I guess that's him f--cked for life 

My two year old likes whipping his penis out in public occasionally, so I guess that's him f--cked for life 

Your two-year-old is ****** two, and he's not doing it for sexual gratification. I can guaran-******-tee you that if your two-year-old started furtively rubbing his erect penis against a woman in a sexual manner while giving her lurid glances that child services would be pretty ****** quick to take your kid away from you.

False equivalency, and obnoxious as shit. Quit trying to excuse predatory behavior from people old enough to know better. There are literally decades of professionals who have established this.

Females here don't understand how pervasive the "foreign slut/whore" stereotype is.
I have heard some absolutely disgusting things from Korean guys about western women. Things they would never say about Korean women. When I first moved here I hung out with a group of Korean guys who were in the same social soccer league as me. They were fuckin filthy. "I heard in Canada you can just go to a night club and girls will grab your dick. If you touch their breasts in public they like it. Anal sex is normal for every time. In America life is easy becuase if you want sex you can just meet a girl in a coffe shop or supermarket and have sex within a few hours."

My wife was a high school teacher and she was pretty young when she started, like 24 and beautiful (though I may be biased). I've asked her about her experience and she said no student would even think of saying something sexually suggestive to a female teacher. They were all ultra polite to her. Her friends of a similar age and also working as teachers said the same thing.

So when she returned to work after our kid was born she worked at a high school hagwon place part time and there were a bunch of western female teachers and she was shocked by what the students said to the foreign girls. All the western females just thought it was part of being a teacher here. It really, really isn't. And shouldn't be.

It's the same way kids will try out there swear words with NETs, but wouldn't dare with a Korean teacher.

Ah, Korean education system, where it's unthinkable for a 14yr old boy to not know the derivative of In(x) but perfectly acceptable for him to think all white girls are sluts, all black people are violent and hocking loogies is the pinnacle of sophistication. Education where it matters. Fighting!

False equivalency, and obnoxious as shit. Quit trying to excuse predatory behavior from people old enough to know better.

Aha so that's your beef. Thinking and hoping teenagers will grow out of bad habits (as a result of pressure from their peers, parents, the law and society) is the same as excusing them. 

False equivalency, and obnoxious as shit. Quit trying to excuse predatory behavior from people old enough to know better.

Aha so that's your beef. Thinking and hoping teenagers will grow out of bad habits (as a result of pressure from their peers, parents, the law and society) is the same as excusing it. 

Waygook.org user eggieguffer, literally what is wrong with you?

Great point #basedcowboyshirt

they try to rub their shoulders against my breasts or their crotches against my shoulder (if I'm sitting). GOD

Ew. Gross.

And it's only going to get worse as they get older and become adults out in the world.

Or it could be that, as what usually happens in societies, people become more responsible and better behaved the older they get.

While that's partly true, it can't be the case when people aren't punished for doing these things. All this bad behavior isn't being dealt with, and is frankly encouraged in some situations here by the older generation (I've been told twice I should cheat on my girlfriend, by two different older Korean men). If my parents, or society for that matter, never punished me for doing something wrong, how would I know it's bad?

Chinguetti, these things always seem to happen to you and other 'outspoken' women with feminist views. Are you sure the boys are actually doing it intentionally, as opposed to being typical clumsy teenagers?

Chinguetti, these things always seem to happen to you and other 'outspoken' women with feminist views. Are you sure the boys are actually doing it intentionally, as opposed to being typical clumsy teenagers?

I’m a man, but I tend to think that the outspoken ones are the ones who, you know, speak out.

Imagine literally defending high school students who harass women with a 'boys will be boys, they'll grow out of it' response.

Sophistry. I said people generally get better behaved the older they get. Hardly an incendiary comment. Look at the percentage of the prison population over forty. I never dismissed or defended the action or said anything like 'boys will be boys.'

You seem to have some pathological need to try to attempt to argue with literally everybody. Especially about anything related to women, people of colour, or Koreans. Even when you're taking a completely untenable position, you appear to always defend the aggressor, or downplay the fact that their actions are literally wrong.

Yes it must be a shock when you find out people out in the big bad world sometimes have a different point of view to yours.



 

Chinguetti, these things always seem to happen to you and other 'outspoken' women with feminist views. Are you sure the boys are actually doing it intentionally, as opposed to being typical clumsy teenagers?

While I believe 3rd wave feminists exist solely for comedic effect, that's a pretty stupid thing to say. I can't recall a single occasion, as a teenage boy, where I was so clumsy that I managed to fall into someone's boobs with my junk or accidentally mention that I'm a virgin in the hopes of getting lucky with a teacher.

Typical? What kind of teenagers are you used to?

Yes it must be a shock when you find out people out in the big bad world sometimes have a different point of view to yours.

Says the guy who trolls others for enjoying pop music..

False equivalency, and obnoxious as shit. Quit trying to excuse predatory behavior from people old enough to know better.

Aha so that's your beef. Thinking and hoping teenagers will grow out of bad habits is the same as excusing it. 

It's one thing to say you hope they'll still turn into good people, but that's not what you were doing, so you can stop right there.

My beef is with you trying to strawman away a serious issue by using ill-informed comparisons and an uneducated/unsupported claim. It's right up there with antivaxxer logic. And now you're trying to deflect and project onto me because I called you out on it.

What I was describing isn't just a bad habit. Stop pretending that it is. The fact that you keep trying to call it a bad habit that teenagers can just "grow out of" is basically trying to excuse it, thereby implying it's a normal part of growing up.

It's not. Fact. Established with history and research. Tons of it. Anything outside of that is the exception, not the norm. Criminal law is partially based on it. So are rehabilitative programs.

When teenagers are exhibiting this kind of behavior, it is near impossible to prevent it from following them into adulthood. Not completely impossible. But it involves a massive amount of intervention and a lot of reinforcement to derail it because they're NOT doing it out of some kind of lack of maturity. There's a lot that led up to it to begin with, which turned into a dysfunction in their personalities. But intervention also normally starts out with family, and what can you do when family is a part of or the root of the problem? Say like a father who says and does the same damn shit. At that point other organizations with the legal authority to trump family has to get involved, but that normally only happens if the child does something severe enough to get detected. As it is, most teenagers with this type of problem are aware enough of what they're doing to hide enough of what they're doing to avoid that sort of thing. Especially in places like Korea.

No amount of wishful thinking will change that. In fact, it just gets in the way. It's one thing to say you hope it'll turn out better. It's another to try to shut down people who say that it most likely won't because facts. Doing the latter only enables and worsens the problem. I saw it in court, I saw it in social services. It's a recurring theme for people guided by selfish interests to try to excuse this kind of problem and pretend it isn't a problem at all.

Are you really unable to distinguish having different points of view that another person or people, as opposed to always, and at every opportunity, arguing with people - at length - whenever there's a chance? Especially whenever the topic involves women, Korea, or immigration / people of colour?

Seriously - you get so worked up whenever someone says maybe a man or a white person was in the wrong.

It's weird.

Yawn, the old why are you getting so worked up, angry triggered? Response. I argue with people on here for the same reason everyone else does.  Bored at work.