RANTING/VENTING MEGATHREAD 3.0

Yeah it might not be applicable to every school but it's applicable to mine and several others. First year or not.

I'm not the first too nice NET and I certainly won't be the last. There is plenty I enjoy about my school but there's also a lot that was thrown at me because I was trying to be polite and not offend anyone. There always have been and always will be people that take advantage of those they think are weak and vulnerable.

I was stupid enough to keep my mouth shut every time it happened and that was my fault. Once someone shows you that they will step on you to get ahead, it's up to you to buck up and put them back in their place.

I'm still plenty nice and polite to those who deserve it, like my higher grade students and the lower grades who DO respect me. I still smile and say hello to everyone and answer "where are you from?" for the 9th time in a row just as happily as I did the first time.

My lack of months here doesn't make me any less entitled to a view on what's going on.

He's right you know. Since I made the choice to actively put my foot down about everything, even the small stuff, the kids don't run over me nearly as much.

They did today though, running in here like a storm and shoving my bookshelves around, throwing food, screaming at the top of their lungs...

Instead of letting it go I just calmly brought up Google translate and told them how disrespectful they were being and if I was a Korean teacher they'd never think to do it. If this were a Korean classroom, they wouldn't dare. I told them I was tired of it and I wanted respect like any other teacher and if they couldn't do that then they need to leave.

They "apologized" but stuck around until I made them leave, so tomorrow they will mysteriously find the English room locked until it's time for class to start. No more lounging around after lunch, f*cking with the English teacher.

It might seem petty to stand up for every little thing, you're supposed to pick your battles wisely and all that jazz, but any hint of being a pushover or being a little too nice and they'll sink their teeth into you before you can blink.

Sorry but you're wrong and this advice may work for awhile but its not going to help in the long run. The reason your co teacher walks all over is because she's a bad person. Your school isn't great either. Your situation and StillinKoreas aren't the same.

 You're right to stand up for yourself in your situation but for most people being rude to old dinner ladies who've given you mixed bibimbap instead of unmixed is not standing up for your rights...it's being rude. Do you really agree this is something to fight for your rights over?

When there are issues with contracts absolutely fight.

When its something small, why be confrontational.

You know what the right thing to do in this situation - Go to the dinner ladies yourself and say the lunch was delicious, you've lived in Korea a long time so next time you can mix it yourself but you know it came from a nice place.

They'll be happy. You'll be happy. The school will see how lovely and polite you are. The lunch ladies wont give you unmixed bibimbap again. Everyone gets what they want.

Also sorry love but isn't this your first year?

It might seem petty to stand up for every little thing, you're supposed to pick your battles wisely and all that jazz, but any hint of being a pushover or being a little too nice and they'll sink their teeth into you before you can blink.

So you know this from one school? Doesn't mean it's true everywhere.

But what if I want to be outraged and offended by everything, all of the time?

Then I hope you do it with all the bitter energy you can muster! Be your best self 

He's right you know. Since I made the choice to actively put my foot down about everything, even the small stuff, the kids don't run over me nearly as much.

They did today though, running in here like a storm and shoving my bookshelves around, throwing food, screaming at the top of their lungs...

Instead of letting it go I just calmly brought up Google translate and told them how disrespectful they were being and if I was a Korean teacher they'd never think to do it. If this were a Korean classroom, they wouldn't dare. I told them I was tired of it and I wanted respect like any other teacher and if they couldn't do that then they need to leave.

They "apologized" but stuck around until I made them leave, so tomorrow they will mysteriously find the English room locked until it's time for class to start. No more lounging around after lunch, f*cking with the English teacher.

It might seem petty to stand up for every little thing, you're supposed to pick your battles wisely and all that jazz, but any hint of being a pushover or being a little too nice and they'll sink their teeth into you before you can blink.

Sorry but you're wrong and this advice may work for awhile but its not going to help in the long run. The reason your co teacher walks all over is because she's a bad person. Your school isn't great either. Your situation and StillinKoreas aren't the same.

 You're right to stand up for yourself in your situation but for most people being rude to old dinner ladies who've given you mixed bibimbap instead of unmixed is not standing up for your rights...it's being rude. Do you really agree this is something to fight for your rights over?

When there are issues with contracts absolutely fight.

When its something small, why be confrontational.

You know what the right thing to do in this situation - Go to the dinner ladies yourself and say the lunch was delicious, you've lived in Korea a long time so next time you can mix it yourself but you know it came from a nice place.

They'll be happy. You'll be happy. The school will see how lovely and polite you are. The lunch ladies wont give you unmixed bibimbap again. Everyone gets what they want.

My way of doing things works for me and ultimately people seem to like me enough to want to keep me around. Whenever I've transferred away from a school, people have been pretty upset, or at the very least concerned about whether the next person will perform as well in the classroom.

I am nice and friendly to people in general, but I will not take any kind of crap. When I do feel slighted, I'm enough of an asshole that people try very hard to avoid upsetting me again. They much prefer the nice and friendly StillInKorea to the asshole StillInKorea.

As for being rude to the lunch ladies, I didn't say anything to them other than thanks when they passed me my food. At that point I hadn't realised, and I wasn't going to go back and start a fight. The 5th grade teacher took it upon himself to inform them of the situation because he saw that I was pissed and he's a decent dude.

I have zero interest in people "seeing how lovely and polite" I am. That is not how you act in a Korean workplace. People like me enough, continue to employ me, and I get a lot less crap than the nice and polite teachers in Korea. My way works just fine.

So, genuinely curious, does intent matter?

If someone "slights" you and they didn't intend it, do you still get upset? Is is still them giving you crap and you have to stand up for yourself?

The thing is I do agree with what you're saying. Sometimes we are treated like children and it's really annoying, but the way you describe it sounds like you're being an aggressive dick to people who have the gall to do what they think is kind.

Yeah it might not be applicable to every school but it's applicable to mine and several others. First year or not.

I'm not the first too nice NET and I certainly won't be the last. There is plenty I enjoy about my school but there's also a lot that was thrown at me because I was trying to be polite and not offend anyone. There always have been and always will be people that take advantage of those they think are weak and vulnerable.

I was stupid enough to keep my mouth shut every time it happened and that was my fault. Once someone shows you that they will step on you to get ahead, it's up to you to buck up and put them back in their place.

I'm still plenty nice and polite to those who deserve it, like my higher grade students and the lower grades who DO respect me. I still smile and say hello to everyone and answer "where are you from?" for the 9th time in a row just as happily as I did the first time.

My lack of months here doesn't make me any less entitled to a view on what's going on.

You're right, it doesn't. You are absolutely entitled to your view. Your lack of months here does mean that you might not understand what is going on quite as well as someone who has been here years though.

It sounds like I'm being horrible to you, I don't mean to be. I genuinely think you have a hard situation and i'm glad you're standing up for yourself more. I think your school try to take advantage because they're shitty. Not because you're too nice.

Yeah it might not be applicable to every school but it's applicable to mine and several others. First year or not.

I'm not the first too nice NET and I certainly won't be the last. There is plenty I enjoy about my school but there's also a lot that was thrown at me because I was trying to be polite and not offend anyone. There always have been and always will be people that take advantage of those they think are weak and vulnerable.

I was stupid enough to keep my mouth shut every time it happened and that was my fault. Once someone shows you that they will step on you to get ahead, it's up to you to buck up and put them back in their place.

I'm still plenty nice and polite to those who deserve it, like my higher grade students and the lower grades who DO respect me. I still smile and say hello to everyone and answer "where are you from?" for the 9th time in a row just as happily as I did the first time.

My lack of months here doesn't make me any less entitled to a view on what's going on.

You're right, it doesn't. You are absolutely entitled to your view. Your lack of months here does mean that you might not understand what is going on quite as well as someone who has been here years though.

It sounds like I'm being horrible to you, I don't mean to be. I genuinely think you have a hard situation and i'm glad you're standing up for yourself more. I think your school try to take advantage because they're shitty. Not because you're too nice.

I don't think that you're being horrible. I think you read situations differently and that's completely okay. I think you've been helpful and insightful by reading past posts, we all just communicate differently.

And tbh I think it's a mix of both in my situation. I think some of what they've done is underhanded and I let it slide because I didn't want to cause trouble.

Korea is not especially unique, nor are Koreans especially competent. They really need to stop acting like western teachers are incapable of every little task.

  You got a KTX ticket to Daegu.............. ....... BY YOURSELF?????

  Yeah.........

  The window is open? Did you open the window, Tadpole Teacher?
  Yeah
  Oh! Good job!

I mean, windows open the same way in America too. I've been capable of opening them for a solid 20 years now.

i got told off for getting an iced coffee once when i worked at public school

teacher: where did you go?
me: to get a coffee
teacher: you should not leave the school without asking first. what if something happened to you?
me: i'm 28

Korea is not especially unique, nor are Koreans especially competent. They really need to stop acting like western teachers are incapable of every little task.

  You got a KTX ticket to Daegu.............. ....... BY YOURSELF?????

  Yeah.........

  The window is open? Did you open the window, Tadpole Teacher?
  Yeah
  Oh! Good job!

I mean, windows open the same way in America too. I've been capable of opening them for a solid 20 years now.

Coworker: “Your Hyundai car has SatNav, but it is in Korean. How do you use it?”

Me: “All the places I drive to have Korean addresses.”

i got told off for getting an iced coffee once when i worked at public school

teacher: where did you go?
me: to get a coffee
teacher: you should not leave the school without asking first. what if something happened to you?
me: i'm 28

Ugghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhh, I hate that. I moved out at 18 and payed for my own uni. I moved to two different cities in Ontario (after uni) and started over both times. I managed to COME TO AN ASIAN COUNTRY TO LIVE AND WORK BY MYSELF. Granted, when we arrive here we have an apartment set up, but things like this drive me nuts. I walked down the street 10 mins and made a left.............. to the Ediya I've been to 60 times. Yes, I'm okay. Yes, I know where it is. Yes, I can walk for 10 mins two times.

UGHHHHHHH

i got told off for getting an iced coffee once when i worked at public school

teacher: where did you go?
me: to get a coffee
teacher: you should not leave the school without asking first. what if something happened to you?
me: i'm 28

Ugghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhh, I hate that. I moved out at 18 and payed for my own uni. I moved to two different cities in Ontario (after uni) and started over both times. I managed to COME TO AN ASIAN COUNTRY TO LIVE AND WORK BY MYSELF. Granted, when we arrive here we have an apartment set up, but things like this drive me nuts. I walked down the street 10 mins and made a left.............. to the Ediya I've been to 60 times. Yes, I'm okay. Yes, I know where it is. Yes, I can walk for 10 mins two times.

UGHHHHHHH

    I really don't want to rain on this uplifting parade of assertiveness, independence, confidence, and self-sufficiency, but I think maybe what the coworker was worried about isn't so much that you would fall over into a puddle and drown or something, but that it's against school policy to leave the work place during school hours without the permission of the admin. Althogu 28 *is* a magical number, so maybe those rules don't apply.

i got told off for getting an iced coffee once when i worked at public school

teacher: where did you go?
me: to get a coffee
teacher: you should not leave the school without asking first. what if something happened to you?
me: i'm 28

Ugghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhh, I hate that. I moved out at 18 and payed for my own uni. I moved to two different cities in Ontario (after uni) and started over both times. I managed to COME TO AN ASIAN COUNTRY TO LIVE AND WORK BY MYSELF. Granted, when we arrive here we have an apartment set up, but things like this drive me nuts. I walked down the street 10 mins and made a left.............. to the Ediya I've been to 60 times. Yes, I'm okay. Yes, I know where it is. Yes, I can walk for 10 mins two times.

UGHHHHHHH

    I really don't want to rain on this uplifting parade of assertiveness, independence, confidence, and self-sufficiency, but I think maybe what the coworker was worried about isn't so much that you would fall over into a puddle and drown or something, but that it's against school policy to leave the work place during school hours without the permission of the admin. Althogu 28 *is* a magical number, so maybe those rules don't apply.

Yea, pretty sure that's about insurance and liability issues. 

But I get that the instances of coddling can be tiresome.  Apparently I reminded all of the older teachers of their own kid/s so they sometimes extended the coddling to me...  They meant well and I appreciated it but occasionally I wanted to be like I'M AN ADULT and I have lived on my own before! 

"Do you lock your door?  You should lock your door at night." 
"Yes.  I'm from America." 

This one is really just... Korean. 

*mild mist*
"Where is your umbrella?! I have one you can borrow!" (like a chorus)

This one was just funny:  one time I had a few cheon won in my pocket for bus fare-- my principal saw this and started miming like he was gonna pick my pocket.  He didn't speak much English, but wanted to warn me about thieves... literally was going directly to the bus after getting off the ferry.  Ah yes, the dangers of the mainland 

i got told off for getting an iced coffee once when i worked at public school

teacher: where did you go?
me: to get a coffee
teacher: you should not leave the school without asking first. what if something happened to you?
me: i'm 28

Ugghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhh, I hate that. I moved out at 18 and payed for my own uni. I moved to two different cities in Ontario (after uni) and started over both times. I managed to COME TO AN ASIAN COUNTRY TO LIVE AND WORK BY MYSELF. Granted, when we arrive here we have an apartment set up, but things like this drive me nuts. I walked down the street 10 mins and made a left.............. to the Ediya I've been to 60 times. Yes, I'm okay. Yes, I know where it is. Yes, I can walk for 10 mins two times.

UGHHHHHHH

    I really don't want to rain on this uplifting parade of assertiveness, independence, confidence, and self-sufficiency, but I think maybe what the coworker was worried about isn't so much that you would fall over into a puddle and drown or something, but that it's against school policy to leave the work place during school hours without the permission of the admin. Althogu 28 *is* a magical number, so maybe those rules don't apply.

Yea, pretty sure that's about insurance and liability issues. 

But I get that the instances of coddling can be tiresome.  Apparently I reminded all of the older teachers of their own kid/s so they sometimes extended the coddling to me...  They meant well and I appreciated it but occasionally I wanted to be like I'M AN ADULT and I have lived on my own before! 

"Do you lock your door?  You should lock your door at night." 
"Yes.  I'm from America." 

This one is really just... Korean. 

*mild mist*
"Where is your umbrella?! I have one you can borrow!" (like a chorus)

This one was just funny:  one time I had a few cheon won in my pocket for bus fare-- my principal saw this and started miming like he was gonna pick my pocket.  He didn't speak much English, but wanted to warn me about thieves... literally was going directly to the bus after getting off the ferry.  Ah yes, the dangers of the mainland 

Back home I'm used to locking my doors not only at night, but during the day as well.
But where I am now in Korea, I frequently forget to lock my door at night haha.

i got told off for getting an iced coffee once when i worked at public school

teacher: where did you go?
me: to get a coffee
teacher: you should not leave the school without asking first. what if something happened to you?
me: i'm 28

Ugghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhh, I hate that. I moved out at 18 and payed for my own uni. I moved to two different cities in Ontario (after uni) and started over both times. I managed to COME TO AN ASIAN COUNTRY TO LIVE AND WORK BY MYSELF. Granted, when we arrive here we have an apartment set up, but things like this drive me nuts. I walked down the street 10 mins and made a left.............. to the Ediya I've been to 60 times. Yes, I'm okay. Yes, I know where it is. Yes, I can walk for 10 mins two times.

UGHHHHHHH

    I really don't want to rain on this uplifting parade of assertiveness, independence, confidence, and self-sufficiency, but I think maybe what the coworker was worried about isn't so much that you would fall over into a puddle and drown or something, but that it's against school policy to leave the work place during school hours without the permission of the admin. Althogu 28 *is* a magical number, so maybe those rules don't apply.

LMAO

i got told off for getting an iced coffee once when i worked at public school

teacher: where did you go?
me: to get a coffee
teacher: you should not leave the school without asking first. what if something happened to you?
me: i'm 28

Ugghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhh, I hate that. I moved out at 18 and payed for my own uni. I moved to two different cities in Ontario (after uni) and started over both times. I managed to COME TO AN ASIAN COUNTRY TO LIVE AND WORK BY MYSELF. Granted, when we arrive here we have an apartment set up, but things like this drive me nuts. I walked down the street 10 mins and made a left.............. to the Ediya I've been to 60 times. Yes, I'm okay. Yes, I know where it is. Yes, I can walk for 10 mins two times.

UGHHHHHHH

    I really don't want to rain on this uplifting parade of assertiveness, independence, confidence, and self-sufficiency, but I think maybe what the coworker was worried about isn't so much that you would fall over into a puddle and drown or something, but that it's against school policy to leave the work place during school hours without the permission of the admin. Althogu 28 *is* a magical number, so maybe those rules don't apply.

LMAO

Also keep in mind that the school would have to take responsibility for something happening to you during working hours hence they need to know where you are at all times. So, I think they are trying to follow protocol rather than parent you

i got told off for getting an iced coffee once when i worked at public school

teacher: where did you go?
me: to get a coffee
teacher: you should not leave the school without asking first. what if something happened to you?
me: i'm 28

Ugghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhh, I hate that. I moved out at 18 and payed for my own uni. I moved to two different cities in Ontario (after uni) and started over both times. I managed to COME TO AN ASIAN COUNTRY TO LIVE AND WORK BY MYSELF. Granted, when we arrive here we have an apartment set up, but things like this drive me nuts. I walked down the street 10 mins and made a left.............. to the Ediya I've been to 60 times. Yes, I'm okay. Yes, I know where it is. Yes, I can walk for 10 mins two times.

UGHHHHHHH

    I really don't want to rain on this uplifting parade of assertiveness, independence, confidence, and self-sufficiency, but I think maybe what the coworker was worried about isn't so much that you would fall over into a puddle and drown or something, but that it's against school policy to leave the work place during school hours without the permission of the admin. Althogu 28 *is* a magical number, so maybe those rules don't apply.

Yea, pretty sure that's about insurance and liability issues. 

i have heard this, but i do not understand it

if i get hit by a truck, i could potentially sue the school because it happened in 'school time'? is that it?

Yea, pretty sure that's about insurance and liability issues. 

i have heard this, but i do not understand it

if i get hit by a truck, i could potentially sue the school because it happened in 'school time'? is that it?

Not sure about lawsuit, but the school WOULD be at least partially if not fully responsible for your medical expenses if you get hurt during school time, and they could potentially get in trouble with the education office if someone there who cares finds out about the NET leaving the campus during school hours.

At least that's how it was explained to me. Many schools will still trust NETs to take care of themselves on short stints off campus, but a lot of schools also feel the pressure to follow protocol and stick closely to the book.

Yea, pretty sure that's about insurance and liability issues. 

i have heard this, but i do not understand it

if i get hit by a truck, i could potentially sue the school because it happened in 'school time'? is that it?

Not sure about lawsuit, but the school WOULD be at least partially if not fully responsible for your medical expenses if you get hurt during school time, and they could potentially get in trouble with the education office if somehow there who cares finds out about the NET leaving the campus during school hours.

At least that's how it was explained to me. Many schools will still trust NETs to take care of themselves on short stints off campus, but a lot of schools also feel the pressure to follow protocol and stick closely to the book.

See that's weird. I was told that if anything that happens to me/students/any injuries that happen in my classroom are on me. If a student for some reason decided to stab themselves in my classroom with scissors, I'm liable for it. If I were to slip and fall or trip over a backpack and break my leg, it's my classroom and therefore my liability.

i got told off for getting an iced coffee once when i worked at public school

teacher: where did you go?
me: to get a coffee
teacher: you should not leave the school without asking first. what if something happened to you?
me: i'm 28

Ugghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhh, I hate that. I moved out at 18 and payed for my own uni. I moved to two different cities in Ontario (after uni) and started over both times. I managed to COME TO AN ASIAN COUNTRY TO LIVE AND WORK BY MYSELF. Granted, when we arrive here we have an apartment set up, but things like this drive me nuts. I walked down the street 10 mins and made a left.............. to the Ediya I've been to 60 times. Yes, I'm okay. Yes, I know where it is. Yes, I can walk for 10 mins two times.

UGHHHHHHH

    I really don't want to rain on this uplifting parade of assertiveness, independence, confidence, and self-sufficiency, but I think maybe what the coworker was worried about isn't so much that you would fall over into a puddle and drown or something, but that it's against school policy to leave the work place during school hours without the permission of the admin. Althogu 28 *is* a magical number, so maybe those rules don't apply.

Yea, pretty sure that's about insurance and liability issues. 

i have heard this, but i do not understand it

if i get hit by a truck, i could potentially sue the school because it happened in 'school time'? is that it?

... or the truck owner could sue the school because you were on the clock when you damaged his truck's grill.

Without the concept of "Common Law precedents", corporations in civil law junctions tend to be more risk averse.

See that's weird. I was told that if anything that happens to me/students/any injuries that happen in my classroom are on me. If a student for some reason decided to stab themselves in my classroom with scissors, I'm liable for it. If I were to slip and fall or trip over a backpack and break my leg, it's my classroom and therefore my liability.

Yes and no. Depends on what led up to it and other conditions and circumstances. In most cases you can't and won't be held responsible for a student getting hurt in your classroom (won't stop some people from trying to toss you under the bus, though), but the school will get in trouble if it's learned that a coteacher was not present with you in the room when it happened. Big time trouble. Keep that in mind.

As for you getting hurt in your classroom, 100% on the school.

Was it your MT that told you all this?

Also sorry love but isn't this your first year?

It might seem petty to stand up for every little thing, you're supposed to pick your battles wisely and all that jazz, but any hint of being a pushover or being a little too nice and they'll sink their teeth into you before you can blink.

So you know this from one school? Doesn't mean it's true everywhere.

PennyPie, adding that "love" gives the condescension just that extra little emphasis.  Like, "How dare you come on here and tell us long timers how it is.  You know nothing!"