RANTING/VENTING MEGATHREAD 3.0

This is my fifth year here, and I've given up on making new friends. I had my friends from orientation at first, but most of them are long gone.

I feel like the Office of Education could do more about this...I mean maybe not organize anything official but at least unoffically organize things so people can meet up. There must be a fair few lonely NETS out there (I'm not saying you are lonely, I just mean in general)

 I know it's not their jobs...but it's frustrating when they have everyone's contact details and it wouldn't be too hard.

Thanks for chiming in gatevt.

Some posters are quite odd in thinking that side commentary on one's tone or tenor is ever needed.  It's harassment, pure and simple.

I was addressing the OP with the advice given.  Others are sure to have different advice and experiences to share.  Share it and move on.

If you disagree with what someone posted, disagree with it.  There is no need to make a personal attack.

I procrastinate and kill time posting here.  I don't deliberately go out of my way to be nasty, rude, or insensitive to anyone, but I'm not going to beat around the bush, either.  We aren't friends.

It's frank, terse, and abrupt. 

If a user doesn't like my manner, lump it.  When you see my name, ignore my posts.  Easy enough.

People are allowed to criticise your behaviour without it falling under some ridiculously low bar of 'harassment.'

My problem with you Pecan is that you seem to lurk this thread in which people often share their saddest and most frustrating moments - or you seem magnetically drawn to other threads in which similar themes are evident - and your default response is to tell the other person that it's their own fault. That it's somehow a deep, fundamental weakness in their character that has resulted in whatever struggle they're currently confronting. Or that whatever problem they're facing is a result of a failure to adequately prepare or a lack of emotional intelligence.

Thread about a woman being raped? Pecan is on hand to say she shouldn't have drank so much.
Thread about the tragic death of an expat? Here's Pecan to say if only they'd taken out insurance their parents wouldn't have to pay so much to ship the body home.
Post about depression or loneliness? Thank goodness Pecan is here to tell us we should have thought about that before we came here and maybe it'd be better if we just gave up and went home.

You seem to have cast yourself in a role of "straight talker" but that isn't what you are at all. Straight talk is helpful. Straight talk cuts through the crap and tells people what they need to hear. Rather than being a direct source of "real talk" you're nothing but a source of judgment, condescension and totally redundant "what everyone else already knew but had the tact not to say" commentary on how everything is someone's own fault.

Rather than taking the attitude of "if you don't like it ignore my posts - I'm just giving REAL TALK" maybe take a minute to consider whether these criticisms are legitimate (and we both know you get this ALL THE TIME from many different people) and try to enact some self-control so that you can be a regular forum user like everyone else and not the deeply unpleasant jerk who has to pre-warn everybody else that the best way to interact with him is to just ignore him altogether.

The last I'll say on the issue.

Jennipennypie, you are so right.

We did a "buddy system" in my province and a mentor/mentee program in my previous district here in Seoul.

Sadly, the head teachers within each district aren't doing much of anything with regards to advocacy for the majority of the foreign staff in Seoul.

It costs nothing to shoot out an email list, to meet and greet the newcomers within one's district, or to provide them with a "buddy" to help with the transition to Korea.

I have had more than my fair share of words with some of these "head" foreigners, but none were interested in adopting what we established elsewhere.

Why?

Time.

The vast majority have families and were only interested in advancing their personal agenda.

It's sad, really.

The one and only "vote" we truly have is with our feet.

Somebody needs to make DKLK my personal mod or something.

Imagine being stalked by someone like this in the "real world"...I'd at least be able to get a restraining order.

Keyboard warrior, give it a rest, already.

Everyone knows you criticize the things in others that you see within yourself...so you've got some serious problems.

Somebody needs to make DKLK my personal mod or something.

Imagine being stalked by someone like this in the "real world"...I'd at least be able to get a restraining order.

Keyboard warrior, give it a rest, already.

Everyone knows you criticize the things in others that you see within yourself...so you've got some serious problems.

 

Somebody needs to make DKLK my personal mod or something.

Imagine being stalked by someone like this in the "real world"...I'd at least be able to get a restraining order.

Keyboard warrior, give it a rest, already.

Everyone knows you criticize the things in others that you see within yourself...so you've got some serious problems.

When everyone is telling you that you are in the wrong, as you are told in multiple threads about multiple topics by multiple people, maybe it's time to look at yourself Pecan.

Thanks, zola.

I'm sure you think you are being helpful with your sweeping generalizations and mischaracterization s, but I don't know you, nor am I looking for advice from someone who is diluted into thinking I would actually take seriously what some keyboard stroker has to say about me "looking" at myself ;)

Diluted? I think you mean deluded. Come on mate, you are an English teacher. Get it right.

Diluted? I think you mean deluded. Come on mate, you are an English teacher. Get it right.

;)

Now, I've got an editor, too.

Nice one.

My people use "diluted" as in drunk/wasted, which would work, but I meant the other.

Somebody needs to make DKLK my personal mod or something.

Imagine being stalked by someone like this in the "real world"...I'd at least be able to get a restraining order.

Keyboard warrior, give it a rest, already.

Everyone knows you criticize the things in others that you see within yourself...so you've got some serious problems.

Why do you want me to make him your own personal mod, Pecan?

If the school would stop spending so much money on those ridiculously huge banners that they only use once and instead buy something useful, like a printer that doesn't jam every 5 pages, that would be great.

This is my fifth year here, and I've given up on making new friends. I had my friends from orientation at first, but most of them are long gone.

I feel like the Office of Education could do more about this...I mean maybe not organize anything official but at least unoffically organize things so people can meet up. There must be a fair few lonely NETS out there (I'm not saying you are lonely, I just mean in general)

 I know it's not their jobs...but it's frustrating when they have everyone's contact details and it wouldn't be too hard.

I've also just hit my 5 year mark and although there are a few people who I've known from the beginning, most of them are Korean. People often wonder why I make more Korean friends than foreign friends, but I'm in KOREA and they don't leave or go far. 

I don't like humans in general so I don't really mind not knowing anyone or not having any friends. I did once really meet some people I thought I could be friends with, but I got burned there in an awful, awful way, when the one person I really did get along with, tried desperately hard to ruin my relationship for their own gain. Without any shame, lied, and manipulated, and took advantage of my trust, kindness. I guess just your usual run of the mill sh**ty human.

I discovered that all this had gone on, and confronted the person, who then proceeded to spread a rather nasty story about me through our little town. Which I have never bothered to react to or discuss with anyone, because, I'm not much into drama. So no one is really interested in being friends with me either. This person truly did a number on me with all that they did, I am almost 40 and have never experienced such shameless nastiness and coldness from a person, it has left quite the scar.

This is the first time I have ever really spoken about it.

So now it is just me, my partner,  series, xbox and farmville. People come and go, and I will probably be around for a couple more years, but I think I will just stay in my little private bubble, where it is warm and safe.

Because #sh**tyhumans

I don't like humans in general so I don't really mind not knowing anyone or not having any friends. I did once really meet some people I thought I could be friends with, but I got burned there in an awful, awful way, when the one person I really did get along with, tried desperately hard to ruin my relationship for their own gain. Without any shame, lied, and manipulated, and took advantage of my trust, kindness. I guess just your usual run of the mill sh**ty human.

I discovered that all this had gone on, and confronted the person, who then proceeded to spread a rather nasty story about me through our little town. Which I have never bothered to react to or discuss with anyone, because, I'm not much into drama. So no one is really interested in being friends with me either. This person truly did a number on me with all that they did, I am almost 40 and have never experienced such shameless nastiness and coldness from a person, it has left quite the scar.

This is the first time I have ever really spoken about it.

So now it is just me, my partner,  series, xbox and farmville. People come and go, and I will probably be around for a couple more years, but I think I will just stay in my little private bubble, where it is warm and safe.

Because #sh**tyhumans

Yeah, humans are shitty. I agree completely. Actually, you and I sound very similar. We should not hang out sometime.

I don't like humans in general so I don't really mind not knowing anyone or not having any friends. I did once really meet some people I thought I could be friends with, but I got burned there in an awful, awful way, when the one person I really did get along with, tried desperately hard to ruin my relationship for their own gain. Without any shame, lied, and manipulated, and took advantage of my trust, kindness. I guess just your usual run of the mill sh**ty human.

I discovered that all this had gone on, and confronted the person, who then proceeded to spread a rather nasty story about me through our little town. Which I have never bothered to react to or discuss with anyone, because, I'm not much into drama. So no one is really interested in being friends with me either. This person truly did a number on me with all that they did, I am almost 40 and have never experienced such shameless nastiness and coldness from a person, it has left quite the scar.

This is the first time I have ever really spoken about it.

So now it is just me, my partner,  series, xbox and farmville. People come and go, and I will probably be around for a couple more years, but I think I will just stay in my little private bubble, where it is warm and safe.

Because #sh**tyhumans

Yeah, humans are shitty. I agree completely. Actually, you and I sound very similar. We should not hang out sometime.

Oh yeah, defs. Don't call any time!!

“If you hate a person, you hate something in him that is part of yourself. What isn’t part of ourselves doesn’t disturb us.”

Whenever you're judgmental of others, you're, in fact, judging yourself.

When you point your blaming index finger to someone, you point three fingers to yourself.

Does that mean if you dislike the rapist, the war criminal, the pathological liar, you are identifying yourself with these people as well?

Not necessarily.

What Hesse was referring to, and what Freud and Jung referred to before him, is that kind of dislike has a very particular energy.

You're triggered by another person in a way that's obsessive and almost irrational.

When you hate the same kind of people wherever you go, what you dislike in them is likely something you dislike about yourself.

Sometimes what we consider an imperfection in other people pushes our buttons or touches aspects of ourselves that demand our attention.

It's the hypocrisy of the mother who whips her son to teach him not to hit other people, or the homophobic person who hides homosexual feelings.

Think of the user who obsesses with one's lack of compassion, yet continually calls people "idiots"; the unkindness of others confronts his own shortcomings.

I don't like humans in general so I don't really mind not knowing anyone or not having any friends. I did once really meet some people I thought I could be friends with, but I got burned there in an awful, awful way, when the one person I really did get along with, tried desperately hard to ruin my relationship for their own gain. Without any shame, lied, and manipulated, and took advantage of my trust, kindness. I guess just your usual run of the mill sh**ty human.

I discovered that all this had gone on, and confronted the person, who then proceeded to spread a rather nasty story about me through our little town. Which I have never bothered to react to or discuss with anyone, because, I'm not much into drama. So no one is really interested in being friends with me either. This person truly did a number on me with all that they did, I am almost 40 and have never experienced such shameless nastiness and coldness from a person, it has left quite the scar.

This is the first time I have ever really spoken about it.

So now it is just me, my partner,  series, xbox and farmville. People come and go, and I will probably be around for a couple more years, but I think I will just stay in my little private bubble, where it is warm and safe.

Because #sh**tyhumans

Yeah, humans are shitty. I agree completely. Actually, you and I sound very similar. We should not hang out sometime.

Oh yeah, defs. Don't call any time!!

You got it man. Lookin forward to it.

Okay so I just want to share today's experience:

I love my school and my co-teachers they are amazing and sometimes they can be a bit over the top about looking out for me. Anyway today I felt a little bit under the weather, I'm at my desk and I can't keep my eyes open and so I just close them for a while and put my head in my hands. My co teacher suddenly wakes me up saying she's worried about me and I should take a rest. I said okay il go into my classroom and just rest in there rather than the office. This is where it gets interesting she says why don't you go into the new rest room we have set up. I'm a bit hesitant I would rather go into my own classroom but I thought ah she's being nice il go along with it.

As she was finding the key to the room one of my other co teachers walks past and I explain I'm going in the "rest room" to which he replies "what for the ladies". Me being a lad this already starts to ring alarm bells. Anyway walking towards the building I mention the lady room comment to my co teacher and I said what does he mean. Turns out the room is especially for women teachers who are on their period. At this point I'm already in the room and she's sitting me down in some electric massage sofa machine that the female staff use for relaxation when it's that time of the month, so embarrassing! But it's gets better yet!! The sofa doesn't work for some reason so she rings up the office and a couple staff from the admin office come out to the building to try and get it working whilst probably thinking "what the hell is this guy doing in the lady rest room".

So here I am writing this message here in the massage chair not feeling all too comfy haha!

Okay so I just want to share today's experience:

I love my school and my co-teachers they are amazing and sometimes they can be a bit over the top about looking out for me. Anyway today I felt a little bit under the weather, I'm at my desk and I can't keep my eyes open and so I just close them for a while and put my head in my hands. My co teacher suddenly wakes me up saying she's worried about me and I should take a rest. I said okay il go into my classroom and just rest in there rather than the office. This is where it gets interesting she says why don't you go into the new rest room we have set up. I'm a bit hesitant I would rather go into my own classroom but I thought ah she's being nice il go along with it.

As she was finding the key to the room one of my other co teachers walks past and I explain I'm going in the "rest room" to which he replies "what for the ladies". Me being a lad this already starts to ring alarm bells. Anyway walking towards the building I mention the lady room comment to my co teacher and I said what does he mean. Turns out the room is especially for women teachers who are on their period. At this point I'm already in the room and she's sitting me down in some electric massage sofa machine that the female staff use for relaxation when it's that time of the month, so embarrassing! But it's gets better yet!! The sofa doesn't work for some reason so she rings up the office and a couple staff from the admin office come out to the building to try and get it working whilst probably thinking "what the hell is this guy doing in the lady rest room".

So here I am writing this message here in the massage chair not feeling all too comfy haha!

Omg, why can't my school have a menstruation room.

STUDENT BEHAVIOR RANT

So my CT decides to leave the classroom about 2 minutes before the next class. Suddenly, I hear a loud BANG and look up to see the usual trouble maker crying and throwing his pencils across the room with his desk knocked over onto the floor. I immediately got up and had to break up a fight between him and another boy while the rest of the students were yelling at them to stop. After breaking up the fight and separating them, I run out into the hallway to see if I can spot my CT, but she's nowhere to be found. Suddenly, a different boy decides to rile up the desk-throwing kid, causing a second fight which I then have to break up. Desk-throwing kid gets hurt from running into his desk, so he lies on the floor, screaming at the top of his lungs and sobbing. Sobbing like, there was a puddle on the floor from his tears. I'm immediately panicking and thinking WTF? while seeing if he's okay. Finally my CT comes in and the students go ahead and tell her what happened. While she goes to console desk-throwing kid, the homeroom teacher appears.....either some student went to go get her or she heard all the screaming from her classroom. She yells at them, the kids calm down, everything goes back to normal.

At the end of the class, my CT decides to give all 3 boys, including desk-throwing kid, a "good behavior" stamp at the end of class as part of the rewards system. I told her I was very shocked and surprised at both the students' behavior and how nothing was done about the situation. She said, "yes, the one boy is a very low level student. He always acts like that, so we can't do anything. We have to understand him."

These are 3rd grade elementary schoolers, by the way.