RANTING/VENTING MEGATHREAD 3.0

It wasn't until I was a teenager that my mother started cooking things that weren't boiled, baked, mashed or whipped (her pizza was terrible.)

Was it boiled, baked, mashed, or whipped?

I got hot sauce in my bag

Is this your signature line on Tinder?

Sharyce?!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGG GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG !!

It wasn't until I was a teenager that my mother started cooking things that weren't boiled, baked, mashed or whipped (her pizza was terrible.)

Was it boiled, baked, mashed, or whipped?

I feel like putting some pizza in a blender would be kind of good. Like, liquid dough tomato slurry.

Pizza smoothie? (tomatoes are a fruit, right?) 

This is urgent, friends.

Sometimes I hate myself and therefore have a craving for hot dogs. But I have no idea which ones to buy as I fear that any Korean version is either: Five inches in circumference or disgusting or both. Has anyone found a brand here that might mimic the specific repulsiveness of an American hot dog?

And, to make this more rant-y, first grade middle schoolers are the worst people on the planet.

I'm not American, but those costco hot dogs seem pretty American to me.
You can buy them pre made in a hotdog bun at the food court, or you can buy them in a packet with the other hotdogs.

I made spaghetti last night for the PILs, and despite FIL complaining it was greasy, they ate it right up. MIL did require kimchi as a side though, saying they went well together. Progress!

I got hot sauce in my bag

what kind of spaghetti was it?

i've heard this from a lot of koreans: western food is too greasy and salty

when korean food is some of the greasiest, saltiest cuisine i have ever eaten (i love korean food though, don't get me wrong, but come on)

e.g. we went out for 곱창 the other day. wife always complains she doesn't like chinese food as it's too 'greasy', but the worker was literally ladeling out the grease and oil from the bowl of 곱창!

i don't know what the rules are!

This is urgent, friends.

Sometimes I hate myself and therefore have a craving for hot dogs. But I have no idea which ones to buy as I fear that any Korean version is either: Five inches in circumference or disgusting or both. Has anyone found a brand here that might mimic the specific repulsiveness of an American hot dog?

And, to make this more rant-y, first grade middle schoolers are the worst people on the planet.

Fixed that for you.

I made spaghetti last night for the PILs, and despite FIL complaining it was greasy, they ate it right up. MIL did require kimchi as a side though, saying they went well together. Progress!

I got hot sauce in my bag

what kind of spaghetti was it?

i've heard this from a lot of koreans: western food is too greasy and salty

when korean food is some of the greasiest, saltiest cuisine i have ever eaten (i love korean food though, don't get me wrong, but come on)

e.g. we went out for 곱창 the other day. wife always complains she doesn't like chinese food as it's too 'greasy', but the worker was literally ladeling out the grease and oil from the bowl of 곱창!

i don't know what the rules are!

Don't mind the rules; just know the deck is stacked.

It was an oil pasta, in fact (no particular recipe, just a hodgepodge of what I found in the fridge). I think that was just FIL's unique way of not recognizing anybody's hard work besides his own, and a signal that he wanted someone to get him the marinated onions out of the fridge to help his stomach cut the grease -- A signal that I missed; he ended up getting it himself.

It wasn't until I was a teenager that my mother started cooking things that weren't boiled, baked, mashed or whipped (her pizza was terrible.)

Was it boiled, baked, mashed, or whipped?

I feel like putting some pizza in a blender would be kind of good. Like, liquid dough tomato slurry.

Not enough liquid in pizza to blend it. Nor does cheese blend very well. You'd end up with a greasy, doughy paste if you tried hard enough I imagine. Batter that up and deep fry it and I bet it'd taste pretty good while simultaneously giving you a heart attack.

She did at least bake the pizza. Usually not quite enough such that the crust was slightly uncooked.

I made spaghetti last night for the PILs, and despite FIL complaining it was greasy, they ate it right up. MIL did require kimchi as a side though, saying they went well together. Progress!

I got hot sauce in my bag

what kind of spaghetti was it?

i've heard this from a lot of koreans: western food is too greasy and salty

when korean food is some of the greasiest, saltiest cuisine i have ever eaten (i love korean food though, don't get me wrong, but come on)

e.g. we went out for 곱창 the other day. wife always complains she doesn't like chinese food as it's too 'greasy', but the worker was literally ladeling out the grease and oil from the bowl of 곱창!

i don't know what the rules are!

Whoa what? I've never seen any Chinese 곱창 places anywhere in Korea. Where was this? If it's anything like the Chinese intestine I used to eat back home, I've been trying to find something like that for years.

No no. The wife complains about Chinese food because it's greasy, but doesn't complain about (Korean) GOPE-CHAHNG despite it being served with a bowl of oil. He's just pointing out the inconsistency.

haha. wasn't chinese, just that it was WAY greasier than chinese food, which she won't eat because it's apparently 'too greasy'

now i do want to try some chinese-style gopchang though....

My theory:

I think some Koreans say "too greasy/salty" the same way some westerners say "too spicy".

All three are just saying "I don't like this", but grease, salt, and capsaicin are three things that are socially acceptable attributes of a dish to object to.

So I've been rocking a bitchin' suntan lately after a good amount of time spent outdoors this summer....

Kids keep saying I look sick! 

Dammit this is the healthiest I'll look all year!

My theory:

I think some Koreans say "too greasy/salty" the same way some westerners say "too spicy".

All three are just saying "I don't like this", but grease, salt, and capsaicin are three things that are socially acceptable attributes of a dish to object to.

I don't see how saying, "It's too greasy [therefore I don't like it]," is any better than just saying, "I don't like it," although by calling it greasy, one's distaste could be attributed to the dish itself (It's meant to be greasy, but I don't like grease) rather than the way it was prepared (I don't like it, so you must not have prepared it well.)

Is this your way of telling me my pasta sucks?

My theory:

I think some Koreans say "too greasy/salty" the same way some westerners say "too spicy".

All three are just saying "I don't like this", but grease, salt, and capsaicin are three things that are socially acceptable attributes of a dish to object to.

I don't see how saying, "It's too greasy [therefore I don't like it]," is any better than just saying, "I don't like it," although by calling it greasy, one's distaste could be attributed to the dish itself (It's meant to be greasy, but I don't like grease) rather than the way it was prepared (I don't like it, so you must not have prepared it well.)

Is this your way of telling me my pasta sucks?

You made it "Italian greasy", which is inferior and different to "Korean greasy". Next time, as a test sneak in some 고추장 and see if they can tell the difference.

Not enough liquid in pizza to blend it. Nor does cheese blend very well. You'd end up with a greasy, doughy paste if you tried hard enough I imagine.

Well that's why you add yogurt and/or juice to it, or else it just isn't a smoothie.

"Italian greasy"

I don't appreciate the cultural stereotypes

"Korean greasy"

I like how you challenge cultural stereotypes

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The pasta *did* have some octopus in it, which seems pretty Korean to me, but I guess they have a taste for that in Italy as well, don't they....

GO-CHOO would have made a nice addition, actually. Wonder why I didn't think of it.

"Foreign food is too greasy and salty!"

Greasy and salty things are unhealthy, so of course Korean food, being the spiciest and healthiest food EVAR ON EARF is the exact opposite. That's my theory. Just another superiority-inferiority complex.


But there really isn't any good Korean here in Barcelona, so...

I'm in the single digits of weeks left here, but I feel like they're going much slowly than other people before me.