I know it's difficult seeing her and I know you'd rather do anything else than to talk to her or be around her. But it's been 4 years. I'm not saying you should be friends with her again. I'm not even saying you should talk to her again. I totally get why you wouldn't want to. However, you can't avoid her forever. Especially now that all of your friend groups are coming together. I personally think you should continue going out with your friends and participating even if she is there too. It's going to be hard the first couple of times but I'm sure it will get easier as time goes by. If she tries to get close to you again and you aren't ok with that then let her know. Tell her you're there to be with your friends but that you're not there for her. But like I said. It's been 4 years. Maybe it's time to let yourself heal and move on.
why should he be friends with her? she sounds like a complete bitch. gave him an ultimatum about getting a job quickly in korea after he almost died from massive brain trauma.then dumped him unceremoniously at the airport after he packed up his entire life and came here. for her.wouldn't be surprised if she was banging someone on the side while she was waiting for him to get here. probably explains the dumping actually.now she's banging one of his friends.yeah no. **** that. i wouldn't be friends with someone like that.
Just be chill. There's literally no reason you can't be civil to her. You seem like kind of an emotional guy, which is cool, but always good to be able to keep your feelings under control for practical purposes. Yeah she kind of boned you with the whole breaking up with you after you moved here, but that was like, four years ago? And you were both (I'm assuming) in your early 20s when that happens, which is when lots of people do lots of unfortunate things, despite being at heart generally decent humans. So like, I empathize with the fact that you still have feelings complicated feelings towards her, but I mean, you're both older and smarter and ideally slightly new and improved versions of yourselves compared to when you were dating, so just get on with it and don't make such a big deal about it. You don't have to be friends if you don't want to or anything, but like, it shouldn't make social gatherings awkward.
B) Just throws me off that she always asks anyone and everyone about me. How is he? What's he doing? I don't understand why she cares so much. She left me, right? I mean, I'm curious too, but I don't hound Sam R about how she is or what she's doing, nor his other friends who are now my friends.
Quote from: wanderlust8 on July 03, 2017, 08:08:13 amI know it's difficult seeing her and I know you'd rather do anything else than to talk to her or be around her. But it's been 4 years. I'm not saying you should be friends with her again. I'm not even saying you should talk to her again. I totally get why you wouldn't want to. However, you can't avoid her forever. Especially now that all of your friend groups are coming together. I personally think you should continue going out with your friends and participating even if she is there too. It's going to be hard the first couple of times but I'm sure it will get easier as time goes by. If she tries to get close to you again and you aren't ok with that then let her know. Tell her you're there to be with your friends but that you're not there for her. But like I said. It's been 4 years. Maybe it's time to let yourself heal and move on.why should he be friends with her? she sounds like a complete bitch. gave him an ultimatum about getting a job quickly in korea after he almost died from massive brain trauma.then dumped him unceremoniously at the airport after he packed up his entire life and came here. for her.wouldn't be surprised if she was banging someone on the side while she was waiting for him to get here. probably explains the dumping actually.now she's banging one of his friends.yeah no. **** that. i wouldn't be friends with someone like that.
To add to the ongoing saga: next night out, just get drunk together and hit up a motel. If something materializes, well great, though the waters seem muddy with all the emotional baggage. If nothing happens, chalk it up as 4 years past break-up sex.
Quote from: CO2 on July 03, 2017, 01:56:50 pmOh man, if my most recent ex (March) knew that I was hanging out with JHK, she'd track us both down and murder us, hahaha. That's HER style.Dang, dude. I don't know how you have energy for that sort of biz. Ain't nobody got time for drama like that.
Oh man, if my most recent ex (March) knew that I was hanging out with JHK, she'd track us both down and murder us, hahaha. That's HER style.
Dang, dude. I don't know how you have energy for that sort of biz. Ain't nobody got time for drama like that.
I'm siding more with Kobayashi on this one. She seems to be playing the field, so why is she doing online dating and chatting with your friends if she has another boyfriend. She's playing the field, and doesn't really seem to be that bothered about the consequences or anyone's feelings, especially yours.
I think it's far from necessary to be friends with her, nor would I even say you have to be friendly to her (distantly polite is good), but I do think that some exposure to her presence might help in the long run on the path to healing. Get desensitized, in a way. Rather than being surprised and jarred and flooded with emotions when she randomly pops up in person, which seems to be quite a likely thing given the overlapping friend circles.
Now, they love to pour their drinks out and stare outside through the window directly behind me. I absolutely HATE having people standing behind me when I'm on a computer. It always feels invasive.
Quote from: What?What? on July 03, 2017, 08:11:41 amyay humidity! Right, since last Thursday, it has that walk outside and sweatsville starts, kind of feel. Cue damp pillows in the early morning.
yay humidity!
Quote from: Dave Stepz on July 03, 2017, 08:17:32 amQuote from: What?What? on July 03, 2017, 08:11:41 amyay humidity! Right, since last Thursday, it has that walk outside and sweatsville starts, kind of feel. Cue damp pillows in the early morning.My school is like a rainforest in the hallways
Quote from: Dave Stepz on July 03, 2017, 02:07:57 pmI'm siding more with Kobayashi on this one. She seems to be playing the field, so why is she doing online dating and chatting with your friends if she has another boyfriend. She's playing the field, and doesn't really seem to be that bothered about the consequences or anyone's feelings, especially yours. Y'all are going to think I'm delusional, but I do know more about this situation than y'all, even if I can recognise my own biases. Regarding the tinder thing, Donald (shit, I put his real name in there and had to fix it to Donald again hahaha) had mentioned that she was being flaky as shit and I learned later she was only on for 5 days. She had her gay friend texting the guys for a laugh. This isn't to take away from the fact that seeing her surprised me quite a bit.Regarding her talking to my friends, her boyfriend in Japan is these guys best mate. (Sam R's group that I've been gravitating towards) She's not going around behind his back with all these men, they're all supertight friends for the last couple of years), he's in Japan, that's it. If anything, they'll be judging her if she starts getting messy with some guys at the bar. I have no idea if she's playing the field, I don't. But the assumptions made by you (I'm not angry haha but they are assumptions) don't hold a lot of weight.
Quote from: Pennypie on July 03, 2017, 09:38:58 amQuote from: Dave Stepz on July 03, 2017, 08:17:32 amQuote from: What?What? on July 03, 2017, 08:11:41 amyay humidity! Right, since last Thursday, it has that walk outside and sweatsville starts, kind of feel. Cue damp pillows in the early morning.My school is like a rainforest in the hallways Hahahaha That is a perfect description!