RANTING/VENTING MEGATHREAD 3.0

The whole negotiation thing kills me!

Today, one of the naughtier 4th grade kids came in with 2 of those annoying spinner things. Last class he did zero works and was trying to distract everyone. Today, to my relief, he chose to sit on his own but then started playing with the spinners. When I went over to ask him to open his book I kindly asked if he would put the spinners in his pocket. He ignored me so I put one of them in mine (after several attempts). I told him if he listened well and completed the activity in the textbook he could have it back. Of course he kicked up a stink to the coteacher. Instead of just agreeing with me she put it to the whole class. "Do you think student 1 should have his spinner back or do you think he should do hs work and then get it back?" I don't give a monkey's what the other kids decide, this is undermining me not only with one student but the entire class. Luckily the rest of them are good kids and agreed with me but that's not the point. My decision should not be up for negotiation or a general class discussion!

Emma, I hear you.

I hope that most would have had this conversation at the beginning of the school year with their coteachers (I'm sorry orientation is no longer covering this basic/essential topic).

In English class at my school, we simply have a "no-spinner" policy (they know not to bring them to class).  If we see one, we will take it and keep it until the end of the day for a "first offense".

Thankfully, it has never gone beyond that.

Best of luck, as rarely anything positive comes from being undermined.

Don't get me wrong, I actually love my coteacher (we've worked really well together the last 2 years), and most of the time this particular child. But I do not love those spinners. It started off that all the kids suddenly had them one day and since then they've kind of disappeared. I guess it was my unlucky day that he turned up with two and I just needed to vent! 

I find it both strange and frustrating how schools will negotiate with students regarding their classroom behavior. It's just bizarre to me how much power and control they give kids here.

I mean, I get it. Many schools have their hands tied thanks to the way the system works here.

But I don't get how telling a student that he can sleep in class in order to prevent him from skipping the class altogether is helping anything in any way. All it does is send a bad message to the rest of the class and makes it more difficult to prevent other students from also putting their heads down. It's so stupid. It would be better to keep the problem student in lockdown in an empty classroom, if you're really going to let him do his own thing.

I understand the message it sends to the class is not a good one but in the end maybe it's about keeping that kid out of trouble.  If they're not in class sleeping what are they going to do?  Out on the street up to no good probably.

Spinners are meant to focus kids' attention


on spinners.

I find it both strange and frustrating how schools will negotiate with students regarding their classroom behavior. It's just bizarre to me how much power and control they give kids here.

I mean, I get it. Many schools have their hands tied thanks to the way the system works here.

But I don't get how telling a student that he can sleep in class in order to prevent him from skipping the class altogether is helping anything in any way. All it does is send a bad message to the rest of the class and makes it more difficult to prevent other students from also putting their heads down. It's so stupid. It would be better to keep the problem student in lockdown in an empty classroom, if you're really going to let him do his own thing.

I understand the message it sends to the class is not a good one but in the end maybe it's about keeping that kid out of trouble.  If they're not in class sleeping what are they going to do?  Out on the street up to no good probably.

Here's the thing, though, whenever this particular student is truant, he always hides out in an unused classroom. To sleep.

I originally thought the same thing you did, that it was just about keeping the student out of trouble, but it's not. The school just wants him sitting with the rest of his class so that he doesn't get counted as absent. He's already been held back a grade due to truancy in the past, so it's honestly just about keeping him on track this year so that they can get rid of him next year. He's not learning a damn thing, though. So I guess he gets auto-passed with shit grades but not if he skips too many classes.

I understand that it's not an easy situation with the way Korean schools are run, but it's still frustrating. I feel like they could set up a system for problem students to do classwork and not be counted absent just because they're not sitting with the rest of their classmates. If they can't control the student, then the parents really need to be made to deal with it. The school can only do so much while the parents wield way too much power over it. Gawd, I wish they'd overhall the school disciplinary framework and give the teachers more ****** autonomy.

As for Unfaithful, probably won't be touching that one. Wouldn't want to give wifey any funny ideas...

But yeah. I think I'll give the childhood movies a rest for a while. Or maybe it *is* just '97 movies...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RriqsUo5TzI

Prostitutes have feelings too.

Yeah, this is the bummer about growing up and learning more about the world. It has nothing to do with being triggered for me. It has to do with seeing how lazy, ignorant, and flat out harmful a lot of jokes used to be (and still are).

And I don't blame your wife for feeling uncomfortable watching dude-bro comedy. To men, it can seem harmless because it's the women being objectified and all is right in the world, but I've watched movies with guys that were pretty heavy on the male objectification  (in comparison to the usual lack of it)  and they flat out confronted me about it.. "do you like this/think like this?" or made disparaging comments about themselves/their bodies afterwards. The "sexuality" that is usually shown in TV/Film is pretty much one-sided and from a masculine point of view, so of course guys don't even flinch about it.

One movie comes to mind... Unfaithful. For me, I loved that movie because it showed a regular house wife having hot, um, encounters with a super sexy guy. But when I watched it with my ex, he was not down for the message it sent about women acting on their base instincts. We didn't even get to the part where the guy gets killed! The ex was uncomfortable watching a movie that I liked that included, and seemed to praise, these things.

Anyway, my point is that what people watch does matter and messages get sent even if we don't realize it at the time :/ And your point of view when watching something can drastically change what used to be considered harmless.

I am reminded of an article I read not long ago: 

http://www.cracked.com/blog/how-men-are-trained-to-think-sexual-assault-no-big-deal/

Found it an interesting perspective.  Of course he doesn't speak for everyone, but some/many people are definitely more deeply influenced by media than they may even realize.  I'm kinda glad I had more limited exposure to media when growing up compared to these days (didn't grow up with cable or a smartphone nor even wireless internet).  And beyond the specific focus of the article I linked-- for example, many people have body image issues that are probably just exacerbated by certain kinds of media consumption. 

Life used to be simpler in some ways and I think people were generally [mentally] healthier.  Nowadays it seems all too common for people to fixate and obsess over things and be affected by and addicted to media. 

I'm steadily working on paying off my student loans which is great, but Korea is more expensive to live in than I thought it'd be. (And I know we have it pretty good, and there are other countries that are much more expensive, but I just really feel like whining about it right now.) Also just found out that they're adding me to that teacher's fund thing, so there's another 20,000 a month gone. Sigh.

Anyway, my point is that what people watch does matter and messages get sent even if we don't realize it at the time :/

I am reminded of an article I read not long ago: 

http://www.cracked.com/blog/how-men-are-trained-to-think-sexual-assault-no-big-deal/ 

How to raise a Feminist Son (NYTimes Upshot article)

Boys Will Be Boys, But They Can Be Feminists, Too (On Point Radio podcast, NPR)

Also, Korea's literally not that cheap. Housing is relatively cheap, but in Seoul, at least, the price of a lot of food and alcohol is comparable to that in some North American cities.

I see a lot of disagreement here on Wayg about whether or not Korea is cheap, and I think your answer pretty well sums it all up: if you live in Seoul things can be relatively pricey. If you live outside of Seoul, things get a lot cheaper (a shopping bag full of fresh produce on market days for not even a 5 cheon-er! Whooo-hooo!)
    I live outside of the big city, and I find stuff is pretty darn cheap.  Of course, the bar I measure prices against would be Vancouver, which is one of the most expensive places on earth, so... 

Also just found out that they're adding me to that teacher's fund thing, so there's another 20,000 a month gone. Sigh.

Those teacher fees are the biggest and stupidest waste of money ever. There is no reason that delivery food needs to be ordered every week for snacky time. Stocking up the room with instant coffee and some crackers, etc, shouldn't cost 20,000 per person, per month. And for a year or semester end dinner, you still don't really need to do 20,000 per person. I'm so happy nobody at my current school does that nonsense.

Last year we stopped the fund mid semester because the PE teacher happened upon the head teacher (now gone, got promoted at a new school ) packing his bag full of our communal snacks on his way out the door! The kicker is that this is a guy who would pack his own multi-grain rice to work for health reasons, and here he is thieving his his fellow coworkers of chocopies and Mocha Gold....

This year the fund is back on though, and I feel obligated to join since I'm now drinking leftover milk for lunch these days instead of eating cafeteria food and feel like going to huishik is the least I can do to show my face.

Also, Korea's literally not that cheap. Housing is relatively cheap, but in Seoul, at least, the price of a lot of food and alcohol is comparable to that in some North American cities.

I see a lot of disagreement here on Wayg about whether or not Korea is cheap, and I think your answer pretty well sums it all up: if you live in Seoul things can be relatively pricey. If you live outside of Seoul, things get a lot cheaper (a shopping bag full of fresh produce on market days for not even a 5 cheon-er! Whooo-hooo!)
    I live outside of the big city, and I find stuff is pretty darn cheap.  Of course, the bar I measure prices against would be Vancouver, which is one of the most expensive places on earth, so... 

It can be cheap or expensive depending on your lifestyle. If you're eating at non-Korean restaurants multiple times a week, it adds up. public transportation and housing are a lot cheaper, but if you're dropping 50-70,000won a week on food in Itaewon, it adds up. Same with living outside of Seoul, but making the trip there a lot. Where I live in Jeonbuk it's 30,000won round trip (cheapest bus option) and at least 15-20,000won for a hostel for one night plus food and drinks. It adds up if you do that every month.

I have had a headache of varying intensity for over a week now. Some days it is manageable and today it is so bad I am sweating and throwing up. First couple of days I thought it was a migraine, haven't had one in a long time but the pain was all wrong. I am sure it is something simple and it will vanish as quickly as it came, I just really really want a deep, decent, night's sleep.

Those teacher fees are the biggest and stupidest waste of money ever. There is no reason that delivery food needs to be ordered every week for snacky time. Stocking up the room with instant coffee and some crackers, etc, shouldn't cost 20,000 per person, per month. And for a year or semester end dinner, you still don't really need to do 20,000 per person. I'm so happy nobody at my current school does that nonsense.

mine was 30,000 Won per month. so 360,000 Won per year.

i actually stopped paying into it this year because it was such a waste of money. we had hardly any staff trips last year, and the ones we did have were terrible. the food and restaurant choices for the 휘식 were also pretty bad, so i was basically just pissing 360k down the toilet. that's more than the cost of a flight to Japan, so.

Also, Korea's literally not that cheap. Housing is relatively cheap, but in Seoul, at least, the price of a lot of food and alcohol is comparable to that in some North American cities.

I see a lot of disagreement here on Wayg about whether or not Korea is cheap, and I think your answer pretty well sums it all up: if you live in Seoul things can be relatively pricey. If you live outside of Seoul, things get a lot cheaper (a shopping bag full of fresh produce on market days for not even a 5 cheon-er! Whooo-hooo!)
    I live outside of the big city, and I find stuff is pretty darn cheap.  Of course, the bar I measure prices against would be Vancouver, which is one of the most expensive places on earth, so... 

It can be cheap or expensive depending on your lifestyle. If you're eating at non-Korean restaurants multiple times a week, it adds up. public transportation and housing are a lot cheaper, but if you're dropping 50-70,000won a week on food in Itaewon, it adds up. Same with living outside of Seoul, but making the trip there a lot. Where I live in Jeonbuk it's 30,000won round trip (cheapest bus option) and at least 15-20,000won for a hostel for one night plus food and drinks. It adds up if you do that every month.

I feel like saying, "If you live X lifestyle, it's going to be expensive, but if you do Y, it's really cheap" is kind of misleading, though. Like, we're comparing Korea to other countries when we make these comparisons, usually, so a person who does most of his or her cooking at home, doesn't make many unnecessary purchases, and doesn't go out regularly should be compared to a person with a similar lifestyle in a foreign country, and a person who does go out a lot, etc should be compared to a similar lifestyled person.

Like, obviously it's cheaper to live as a person who does most of their cooking at home and isn't balling out on the regular. But we were (or at least I was) commenting how Seoul isn't really that much cheaper than a lot of western cities.

I feel like, aside from rent prices, if you're a person who likes to stay home and do most of your cooking at home, etc, then living in a western country would be moderately cheaper than living in Korea. That might be offset by cheap necessities like internet and cell phones here, though. But, if you're a person who likes to go out drinking a lot and eat at nice restaurants, I think Seoul is definitely cheaper than most western cities.

Yeah I agree, I was just meaning to say that Seoul is comparable to other western cities but outside of it is where it's cheaper. Like eating out in Seoul costs more than other cities here, and if you're travelling to Seoul then it adds up more. That being said, my city in Canada charges $3.75 for one way on the bus regardless on if you ride for 5 stops or 20. Korea's public transportation is a heck of a lot cheaper. Housing in the equivalent of Suwon for a one room is about $800. Utilities are also a lot more. My original post was to say it's generally cheaper here but if you want the comforts of home you'll end up spending more. Having to travel to find those comforts adds up too. If you're willing to deal with Korean food, you can live relatively cheap, but if you want to live off western foods, you're going to see a price difference because of import fees and lack of availability. I got on a tangent in the last post... And kind of in this one... I'm half awake, don't mind me o.o

I have had a headache of varying intensity for over a week now. Some days it is manageable and today it is so bad I am sweating and throwing up. First couple of days I thought it was a migraine, haven't had one in a long time but the pain was all wrong. I am sure it is something simple and it will vanish as quickly as it came, I just really really want a deep, decent, night's sleep.

I would get checked out by a doctor if I were you. It could be something more serious than a simple headache if it has been going on for serveral days. Also coupled with the sweating and vomiting, I think it would be better to be safe rather than sorry.

I'm steadily working on paying off my student loans which is great, but Korea is more expensive to live in than I thought it'd be. (And I know we have it pretty good, and there are other countries that are much more expensive, but I just really feel like whining about it right now.) Also just found out that they're adding me to that teacher's fund thing, so there's another 20,000 a month gone. Sigh.

Those teacher fees are the biggest and stupidest waste of money ever. There is no reason that delivery food needs to be ordered every week for snacky time. Stocking up the room with instant coffee and some crackers, etc, shouldn't cost 20,000 per person, per month. And for a year or semester end dinner, you still don't really need to do 20,000 per person. I'm so happy nobody at my current school does that nonsense.

Also, Korea's literally not that cheap. Housing is relatively cheap, but in Seoul, at least, the price of a lot of food and alcohol is comparable to that in some North American cities.

Not to mention the NET is rarely invited to these gatherings anyway

Also, truly we are blessed with the public transportation here. It's so wonderful.

"It's so wonderfully cheap and punctual", is a bit more accurate.

When I take the bus during non-peak hours, it's great.

When I take it during peak hours (read: during my morning and afternoon commutes), it's a nightmare. Packed to thee gills, everyone standing nuts-to-butts, ajummas and halmonies throwing elbows to swim their way to the back, people having shout-versations on their phones. Old men reeking of soju (and deli meat, for some reason. The garlic, maybe?), generally terrible temperature control...

Ugh. You'd think that in my 6th year here I'd be used to things like a lack of personal space or people not following the same standards of courtesy I grew up accustomed to (not saying they're being discourteous, before anyone jumps on me; I recognize it's a cultural thing), but I'm really, really, super not.

I'd get a car, but frankly, Korean traffic terrifies me  . Gotta choose my battles.

I have had a headache of varying intensity for over a week now. Some days it is manageable and today it is so bad I am sweating and throwing up. First couple of days I thought it was a migraine, haven't had one in a long time but the pain was all wrong. I am sure it is something simple and it will vanish as quickly as it came, I just really really want a deep, decent, night's sleep.

I would get checked out by a doctor if I were you. It could be something more serious than a simple headache if it has been going on for several days. Also coupled with the sweating and vomiting, I think it would be better to be safe rather than sorry.

Yeah, I'd see a doctor, What?What? That doesn't sound like an average headache. Take care of yourself~~

I have had a headache of varying intensity for over a week now. Some days it is manageable and today it is so bad I am sweating and throwing up. First couple of days I thought it was a migraine, haven't had one in a long time but the pain was all wrong. I am sure it is something simple and it will vanish as quickly as it came, I just really really want a deep, decent, night's sleep.

I would get checked out by a doctor if I were you. It could be something more serious than a simple headache if it has been going on for serveral days. Also coupled with the sweating and vomiting, I think it would be better to be safe rather than sorry.

a headache combined with sweating and vomiting might be meningitis.

i'd see a doctor ASAP. i mean, like RIGHT NOW. if you are at work then leave immediately.

I'm steadily working on paying off my student loans which is great, but Korea is more expensive to live in than I thought it'd be. (And I know we have it pretty good, and there are other countries that are much more expensive, but I just really feel like whining about it right now.) Also just found out that they're adding me to that teacher's fund thing, so there's another 20,000 a month gone. Sigh.

Those teacher fees are the biggest and stupidest waste of money ever. There is no reason that delivery food needs to be ordered every week for snacky time. Stocking up the room with instant coffee and some crackers, etc, shouldn't cost 20,000 per person, per month. And for a year or semester end dinner, you still don't really need to do 20,000 per person. I'm so happy nobody at my current school does that nonsense.

Also, Korea's literally not that cheap. Housing is relatively cheap, but in Seoul, at least, the price of a lot of food and alcohol is comparable to that in some North American cities.

is this the same fund that pays out if you get married or a relative dies? i was actually surprised how low the money was when i got married. after paying into it monthly for 3 years, i expected a little more