RANTING/VENTING MEGATHREAD 3.0

Co-T: "The kindergarten teacher complained you haven't been showing up to teach Kindergarten."
Me: "Kindergarten isn't a class on my schedule, and you only asked me to introduce myself to that class on my first week."
Co-T: "Yeah, but, the previous NET would do it, and we're not allowed to add it to your schedule..."
Me: "Why aren't you allowed to add it to my schedule?"
Co-T: "Yes. I'll tell the kindergarten teacher that you are going to come every week now. This will be off the records..."
Me: "Uhhh.... What???????"

I tried to fight it a little more, but he still told the kindergarten teacher I'd be doing a kindergarten class once a week. I heard it's illegal for NETs to teach kindergarten, unless it's in an afterschool class AND they agreed to it. That info could be wrong however, I eventually pointed it out, but even still, I don't understand how he thought I agreed to it
though.

The fact that it's "off the record" means that your school darn well knows that theyre not supposed to be doing it.

Lol I thought that too! and only reinforced the info of "it's illegal to do this in Korea."

AFAIK, the issue is that at many (most?) schools, the kindergarten is actually a separate entity from the rest of the school. They might be in a building that's attached to the school, but they're technically not the same employer (perhaps they aren't even under the purview of the local POE, but that's just guesswork on my part). That means that doing work for them in addition to your school counts as working for multiple employers, which is a violation of the terms of your visa.

I was in the same situation once. I actually taught at the Kindy attached to my main school for a full year, but then when I randomly mentioned it at an NET meeting early the following year, my POE liaison was like "Uh... what?", and explained why that's a no-no. My school was resistant at first when I said I had to stop ("What's wrong? Don't you like the children?"), but I insisted.

Sh!tty thing is I actually did like those kids. They were my favorite classes. It was a bummer having to stop teaching them, but it'd have been an even bigger bummer to somehow get on a spiteful person's bad side and be reported for visa violations.

Oo. Yeah, the kindergarten is just in a regular classroom on the first floor of the school.
The school is really, really tiny. While I enjoy interacting with the students, I see them at lunchtime most days I'm there, I just don't want to do the additional classes; especially not if it's "off the record."

You can easily get out of this without pissing anyone off:

- Explain that anything in violation of your contract risks you losing your job.
- You're also afraid of any liability issues

DON'T ever believe they don't know it's illegal. Some Korean staff will feign ignorance, guilt trip, suck up and manipulate you to do extra work... Usually so they don't have to. Once you crumble, they'll load more work on your shoulders and it'll be tougher to get out of.
As a last resort, simply say you'll give the POE a call and they can clear up any confusion.

I knew someone who, when they first came to Korea, got placed in a rural school and was given a schedule of 27 classes a week, without overtime! They even wanted this NET to have
'conversation time' with the students, for 30min during lunch!
I told the newbie that they were being taken for a ride, but the CT had her guilt trip hooks stuck in deep. The CT would say "Oh, the previous NET did it.", "The principal will be unhappy if you don't do it." etc.

After transferring, the NET learned that said school only wanted young, fresh, female NETs, no points for guessing why and that everyone either transferred out of that school or didn't renew their contract.

Especially if there was no previous suggestions of it AND I had a boyfriend... Yikes!

Fair enough about the first part but how much action do you reckon a guy would get if he never hit on a girl who said she had a boyfriend?

I know I'm a GEN-X gray hair, but are you guys telling me that as millennials, you would consider/label that sort of message as "hitting on girl"?

I can't believe that THAT approach would ever bear fruit.

I'm only able to see it as offensive and producing negative results.

It translates as "I'm drunk'n horny and want to use you as a semen receptacle."

Educate me ;)

Pretty much. There are a couple of guys in my area who are like this, and they're pretty notorious among the expats (male and female). It kind of ruins their shot at a lot of girls who might have been interested in them before. Doesn't mean that they don't get lucky from time to time... but they don't get nearly as lucky as they could.

Using this kind of tactic just kind of sets you up for failure. It rarely works because it's such a huge turnoff. Makes you look desperate and scuzzy.

I totally see what you're saying and doing something so overt like this rarely works, but I understand why guys do it and it has more to do with wanting a casual encounter with an attractive member of the opposite sex and less to do with anything scuzzy.  For men, our first thought is 'oh she's attractive and I'm not looking for anything serious..' It's as simple as that.  Women obviously don't see it that way so taking that approach doesn't bear fruit so to speak, but coming from a guy's perspective, I sympathize with but don't condone the moonshot approach.

Great post by the way turningsteel. 

Acknowledging the differences between men and women is relevant.  Women can't ever fully understand how men think about sex because they can never experience it.

Completely agree with you here; I sympathize with but don't condone it.

So dumb.

Women can be just as into casual sex as men, the difference is men seem to be unable to discern whether or not the girl they are talking to wants it. You can't just go around saying that stuff to someone who is not into you. We don't care how you think about sex, it's nothing special, y'all are just lacking common social skills and don't seem to know how to go after casual sex while still respecting social norms & the person you're talking to.

It's not that hard, just don't be an idiot.

Ok, newsflash.  Guys who do this sort of thing tend not to mind their Ps and Qs and keep their elbows off the table do they?  Social skills/social norms go out of the window pretty quickly if you're just looking for sex and you're hedging your bets.

Yea women are into casual sex, but they can get it any time they want so it's COMPLETELY different.

That sounds like a YOU problem.

Seriously... finding someone to bang isn't so hard that you just have to start propositioning randoms who show no interest in you. Desperate people abound just go to any club. This just sounds like you guys are socially awkward/lazy.

It is mildly interesting to hear from you what exactly is going on in your brains when you do stuff like this though. Reminds me of this loser who thought he could get with me or my friends by asking via google translate if we wanted to go home with him. He's "hedging his bets" I guess. Maybe you guys are right and this tactic works sometimes, but guaranteed he's getting laid way less often than a good looking guy who has decent social skills. AND the attractive guy with decent social skills doesn't have to throw his pride out the window/become a creep just to get laid.

People make mistakes/read cues wrong sometimes but you don't have to become an offensive pervert in order to get some. If that's the case, you're doing something else wrong.

Yea it isn't hard because, once again, you're a woman and not a man.  Just to stress again, I'm not condoning any of that kind of creepy behaviour, just stating that it's easier for a woman to find casual sex than a man.  That's it.

Pretty sure this was all understood along time ago.
How to get laid as a guy.

1. Be attractive.
2. Don't be ugly.
3. Be attractive.

...and how to get laid as a woman:

Be a milkshake
 

Yea it isn't hard because, once again, you're a woman and not a man.  Just to stress again, I'm not condoning any of that kind of creepy behaviour, just stating that it's easier for a woman to find casual sex than a man.  That's it.

Yeah, it's hard to argue this. Like, The Arm said, no one is talking about if this is fair, or how it should be, but it's ridiculous to think that there isn't a discrepancy here.

Nope!
Women think the same way as men about this stuff. They just have more social skillz to get sex

Nope!
Women think the same way as men about this stuff. They just have more social skillz to get sex

Who are you talking to?

It's a bit weird all this talk about social skills in the context of night clubs.

So it's a question of who can appear the least drunk and shout out the most easily decipherable chat up line?

Nope!
Women think the same way as men about this stuff. They just have more social skillz to get sex

Who are you talking to?

You. And all the dudebros here who can't accept. Women use their social skills to get some sex, while men are fumbling around blindly with terrible social skills, getting none.
If you were attractive AND had social skills you would understand this kind of stuff.

I'm a brand new teacher in Korea. I spend three days a week at an elementary school, which is just the best. My cos are nice, the kids are cute and energetic. We have so many resources.

And then I go to middle school and my co is a huge bitch, doesn't speak to me at all. Just ignores me. I plan all the lessons but the school is new so there's nothing in it. No balls, dice, whiteboards, markers, etc. There's not even chalk in the classrooms sometimes. The english room isn't set up so I have to travel to the kids homerooms.

I guess I'm just. Struggling a bit.

Nope!
Women think the same way as men about this stuff. They just have more social skillz to get sex

Who are you talking to?

You. And all the dudebros here who can't accept. Women use their social skills to get some sex, while men are fumbling around blindly with terrible social skills, getting none.
If you were attractive AND had social skills you would understand this kind of stuff.

So you're saying it's easier for women to get sex. Which is what we were saying.

Thanks for playing. You really didn't think this through.

Also, just quote me next time if you're talking to me. Much easier for all Waygook users that way.

Nope!
Women think the same way as men about this stuff. They just have more social skillz to get sex

Who are you talking to?

You. And all the dudebros here who can't accept. Women use their social skills to get some sex, while men are fumbling around blindly with terrible social skills, getting none.
If you were attractive AND had social skills you would understand this kind of stuff.

So you're saying it's easier for women to get sex. Which is what we were saying.

Thanks for playing. You really didn't think this through.

Also, just quote me next time if you're talking to me. Much easier for all Waygook users that way.

It's HARDER for women to get sex is what I'm saying. Or equal. Women have got to work harder for it.

I agree. I'm trying to get out of it the Korean way first - being passive aggressive about it.
I'm hoping that because I basically said: "You do the extra work for it and I'll come and present it" that they won't be willing to do that extra work, so I won't have to do it.
If they still volunteer me to do it, I'll just "forget" on a regular basis and tell them that I don't want, or have, to do it. They are also only my travel school, so there is really nothing that they can do if I refuse.

FYI, I haven't done it yet. When I got told about it / when I questioned them on it, it happened during the period they want me to do it in, but were surprised I hadn't been showing up regularly. I'm pretty much mentally checked out now as well. I still act professional and put hard work into my lessons, but I don't really want to do more than the minimum required of me, meaning - nothing extra outside of my scheduled lessons.

if you end up doing these classes i would definitely negotiate for some 'off the record' benefit. like leaving an hour early that day or something, off the record so it's not recorded on NEIS.

It's HARDER for women to get sex is what I'm saying. Or equal. Women have got to work harder for it.

U WOT M8

Absolutely seething after class with my CT from heck. She called me at friggin 8:15 to make sure I was coming into work (even tho I've never been sick at that school) then comes into class 5 minutes before the class starts, decides she doesn't like my game that she's had a week to look over and wants me to change it on 5 minutes notice. I stood my ground and we played it kind of. She proceeds to talk over me in Korean while I'm explaining it"nothing new" and tells the kids something totally different. Anyways they end up playing not really a game after I tried to pull her aside and tell her that her translation was off. We fixed it for the second class. Third and 4th periods went well until she decides to give me advice that we need to do more exciting games that are speaking lessons but we can't have the students talking because they're too loud. "What kind of games do you suggest then?" I said. "games that the students think fun but no speaking because the fat boy too loud in games. so exciting so they listen and no talking because they too loud." is the reply I got.....

Currently still seething.....

I know this is a ranting section, but devil's advocate here...

Take a step back.

Your coteacher called you to make sure you weren't going to be absent today (I take it you were absent yesterday from your other school or have been sick).

Do you consider 8:15 early?

One would hope you would be out the door long before that, as school starts at 8:40am, no?

Why not change the game?

I, like you, used to prefer to do things my way, but over the past few years, I have put more and more of the decision-making onto the Korean teachers.

I mean, we are the "assistants", if they want it done THEIR way, so be it.

Try doing what she says for a change, and if you still aren't understanding her, ask her to model it for you during your next class together.

There is no point in beating your head against a brick wall, so to speak.

Try being agreeable and see how that works out for you.

It isn't personal.  She wants to make things better for the students, so why not follow her lead?

Good luck.

Hard for you to get laid? That's too bad but life doesn't OWE you sex.

Ah, excuse me sweetie, but ever heard of a little document called the UNITED STATES CONSTITUTION?!?? Because if you read that (you obviously missed that class in your Snowflake Studies Degree at SJWU) you will find that us Men ARE OWED sex. And guaranteed it.

If you're a gross guy with a shitty personality, maybe. I've known plenty of guys who truly don't need to resort to desperate tactics in order to get some. Women just like them as they are. It's not some sad game of numbers for them. And then there are other guys who aren't so suave and they still don't go around propositioning uninterested women. So I don't really see what your point has to do with anything.

Hard for you to get laid? That's too bad but life doesn't OWE you sex. You don't have to become a shitty person just because you want some and can't get it whenever/wherever you want.

Can people think in aggregates. Do people not have to statistics 101, or Ethics/Logic courses in Uni anymore. I'm not talking about suave guys or hideous women.

Men and women, in aggregate form. (Is that objectification?).

If you randomly sampled 1000 men and 1000 women from around the world ,and told them they have 2 hours to get laid, I can GUARANTEE that the women would have a higher success rate, (provided the men and women from each sample didn't meet each other, HA).

Can I prove this right now? Of course not, but look at this realistically. I bring up the most divisive demographic indicator you can find, men/women. 50 percent of the population each.
Women are gatekeepers of sexual relations. They have a much harder time with the repercussions of the man impregnating them. Obviously there's the pregnancy, which is physically difficult, but there's the fact that she can't leave the child as easily. If the man f**ks off while she's pregnant, there's not much she can do.

If a man wants to get laid, it's a convincing game. If a woman wants to get laid, IT CAN BE SELECTIVE for mate selection, but that's not the argument here. It's who CAN have sex on a whim, and the gatekeepers will always win. Great, you don't WANT indiscriminate sex with strangers, most don't, I imagine. But you CAN much easier.

Hard for you to get laid? That's too bad but life doesn't OWE you sex.

Yes, obviously. When did I imply that?

@Pecan

One of my middle schools starts at 8:35am, my other middle school and two elementary schools start at 9:00am.  (Though everyone typically shows up earlier than the start time)

I would wager that Kriztee's school probably starts at 9:00am though I could very well be wrong. 

I'm just going to step in here with my own opinion. As a woman, I find it is (was)* very easy to get laid. I would just have to ask any random bloke "hey wanna fool around?", and BAM. Done.

As a woman, being approached, I can tell you that the convo usually goes as such:

Man: Hey wanna..
Me: F*%k off.

*I'm old and monogamous now
___________________ ___________________ ___________________ ______

Also, I am not feeling the teaching thing or life thing to be honest. Since last week I have just been off.  I'm tired and annoyed and annoyed about being annoyed. I feel like I need a break. On an island. With no population other than a good chef, bar person and waiter.

I just want to do nothing and drink pretty drinks on a beach somewhere, just for a few years...

Absolutely seething after class with my CT from heck. She called me at friggin 8:15 to make sure I was coming into work (even tho I've never been sick at that school) then comes into class 5 minutes before the class starts, decides she doesn't like my game that she's had a week to look over and wants me to change it on 5 minutes notice. I stood my ground and we played it kind of. She proceeds to talk over me in Korean while I'm explaining it"nothing new" and tells the kids something totally different. Anyways they end up playing not really a game after I tried to pull her aside and tell her that her translation was off. We fixed it for the second class. Third and 4th periods went well until she decides to give me advice that we need to do more exciting games that are speaking lessons but we can't have the students talking because they're too loud. "What kind of games do you suggest then?" I said. "games that the students think fun but no speaking because the fat boy too loud in games. so exciting so they listen and no talking because they too loud." is the reply I got.....

Currently still seething.....

I know this is a ranting section, but devil's advocate here...

Take a step back.

Your coteacher called you to make sure you weren't going to be absent today (I take it you were absent yesterday from your other school or have been sick).

Do you consider 8:15 early?

One would hope you would be out the door long before that, as school starts at 8:40am, no?

Why not change the game?

I, like you, used to prefer to do things my way, but over the past few years, I have put more and more of the decision-making onto the Korean teachers.

I mean, we are the "assistants", if they want it done THEIR way, so be it.

Try doing what she says for a change, and if you still aren't understanding her, ask her to model it for you during your next class together.

There is no point in beating your head against a brick wall, so to speak.

Try being agreeable and see how that works out for you.

It isn't personal.  She wants to make things better for the students, so why not follow her lead?

Good luck.

I haven't been sick. She calls every morning I work at that school to make sure I'm coming in as if she doesn't trust that I'm coming in. The issue with changing the game was she wanted an entirely different game made 5 minutes before class when she okayed the plan the week before. The issue is that IF she gives guidance it makes no sense. She wants a speaking lesson where the students don't speak. I asked her several times if she had any games in mind and she keeps telling me the same thing. I ask what games worked well with the students last year and she tells me I need to make my own plans. If you could meet this woman you'd understand. I work with 11 other coteachers this year. None of them give me problems. I'm able to work out what they want done even the ones with very little English skills. Her issue is that when it comes to my lessons she doesn't let me explain the activity rules to her or the class. She looks at the title and starts speaking in Korean to the students and instructing them to do something entirely different from what I planned. So I asked her if there's time for us to go over plans together. She told me to come in early (I have 2 schools on Tuesdays and I have to leave immediately after we teach so that I can go to my next school and not be late) so I show up early and she's not there. She's not asking me to be an assistant. She wants me to plan an entire lesson and not use the book. Fine. But then she wants me to change half the plan with 5 minutes notice because she was late. Not fine. Especially when I send her my plans days in advance.

Co-T: "The kindergarten teacher complained you haven't been showing up to teach Kindergarten."
Me: "Kindergarten isn't a class on my schedule, and you only asked me to introduce myself to that class on my first week."
Co-T: "Yeah, but, the previous NET would do it, and we're not allowed to add it to your schedule..."
Me: "Why aren't you allowed to add it to my schedule?"
Co-T: "Yes. I'll tell the kindergarten teacher that you are going to come every week now. This will be off the records..."
Me: "Uhhh.... What???????"

I tried to fight it a little more, but he still told the kindergarten teacher I'd be doing a kindergarten class once a week. I heard it's illegal for NETs to teach kindergarten, unless it's in an afterschool class AND they agreed to it. That info could be wrong however, I eventually pointed it out, but even still, I don't understand how he thought I agreed to it
though.

The fact that it's "off the record" means that your school darn well knows that theyre not supposed to be doing it.

Lol I thought that too! and only reinforced the info of "it's illegal to do this in Korea."

AFAIK, the issue is that at many (most?) schools, the kindergarten is actually a separate entity from the rest of the school. They might be in a building that's attached to the school, but they're technically not the same employer (perhaps they aren't even under the purview of the local POE, but that's just guesswork on my part). That means that doing work for them in addition to your school counts as working for multiple employers, which is a violation of the terms of your visa.

I was in the same situation once. I actually taught at the Kindy attached to my main school for a full year, but then when I randomly mentioned it at an NET meeting early the following year, my POE liaison was like "Uh... what?", and explained why that's a no-no. My school was resistant at first when I said I had to stop ("What's wrong? Don't you like the children?"), but I insisted.

Sh!tty thing is I actually did like those kids. They were my favorite classes. It was a bummer having to stop teaching them, but it'd have been an even bigger bummer to somehow get on a spiteful person's bad side and be reported for visa violations.

Oo. Yeah, the kindergarten is just in a regular classroom on the first floor of the school.
The school is really, really tiny. While I enjoy interacting with the students, I see them at lunchtime most days I'm there, I just don't want to do the additional classes; especially not if it's "off the record."

You can easily get out of this without pissing anyone off:

- Explain that anything in violation of your contract risks you losing your job.
- You're also afraid of any liability issues

DON'T ever believe they don't know it's illegal. Some Korean staff will feign ignorance, guilt trip, suck up and manipulate you to do extra work... Usually so they don't have to. Once you crumble, they'll load more work on your shoulders and it'll be tougher to get out of.
As a last resort, simply say you'll give the POE a call and they can clear up any confusion.

I knew someone who, when they first came to Korea, got placed in a rural school and was given a schedule of 27 classes a week, without overtime! They even wanted this NET to have
'conversation time' with the students, for 30min during lunch!
I told the newbie that they were being taken for a ride, but the CT had her guilt trip hooks stuck in deep. The CT would say "Oh, the previous NET did it.", "The principal will be unhappy if you don't do it." etc.

After transferring, the NET learned that said school only wanted young, fresh, female NETs, no points for guessing why and that everyone either transferred out of that school or didn't renew their contract.

Wow, that really sucks. I wouldn't agree to that much overtime without getting paid.
And yeah, my co-T admitted it was illegal after I mentioned that I got told it was, but he is still trying to guilt trip me (it's not going to work, because, like I mentioned, I'm leaving soon and don't want to do anything extra anyway )

I wonder if that is why I didn't get renewed / transferred. I didn't have an open class, and my schools aren't going to do one, there has been no issues with my work, that I'm aware of - there was when I was new, but once I was given direction, it has been smooth sailing.
Whenever I asked and was given a reason, the reason kept changing. So I wonder if they just want fresh newbies who don't know how things run in Korea / to try get more out of them.

I agree. I'm trying to get out of it the Korean way first - being passive aggressive about it.
I'm hoping that because I basically said: "You do the extra work for it and I'll come and present it" that they won't be willing to do that extra work, so I won't have to do it.
If they still volunteer me to do it, I'll just "forget" on a regular basis and tell them that I don't want, or have, to do it. They are also only my travel school, so there is really nothing that they can do if I refuse.

FYI, I haven't done it yet. When I got told about it / when I questioned them on it, it happened during the period they want me to do it in, but were surprised I hadn't been showing up regularly. I'm pretty much mentally checked out now as well. I still act professional and put hard work into my lessons, but I don't really want to do more than the minimum required of me, meaning - nothing extra outside of my scheduled lessons.

if you end up doing these classes i would definitely negotiate for some 'off the record' benefit. like leaving an hour early that day or something, off the record so it's not recorded on NEIS.

While I wouldn't mind trying to arrange something like that for it. 1) I don't want to do anything extra in my last few weeks here. 2) The school is way out in the country and the bus doesn't come by very often (maybe every 2 - 3 hours), so I'd have to wait until the after school bus anyway :( The class would clash with the bus that would allow me to leave early. 3) I don't think they want to pay me for it.

@Pecan

One of my middle schools starts at 8:35am, my other middle school and two elementary schools start at 9:00am.  (Though everyone typically shows up earlier than the start time)

I would wager that Kriztee's school probably starts at 9:00am though I could very well be wrong.

Yeah we start at 9. This CT is crazy tho and calls me while I'm teaching class in my other schools because she wants me to edit her thesis paper and when I don't answer because I'm teaching, she'll call the school to make sure I'm there.