QuoteThat's kinda what I mean-- I find that unfortunate. Most people I know are of the decent sort.Meh, most women in my experience will do anything to avoid breaking up with anyone outright .They either just stop returning phone calls, start flaking on a regular basis and expect the guy to get the message or gradually start seeing someone else. I wouldn't say people who do this kind of thing aren't decent, just a little spineless maybe. If you know plenty of people who don't behave in this way maybe the dynamics of relationships have changed since I was dating.
That's kinda what I mean-- I find that unfortunate. Most people I know are of the decent sort.
QuoteYeah, based on a lot of eggie's previous comments regarding rape and sex, I haven't made any comments about rape or sex that have been particularly controversial. At least outside the liberal arts major Western university bubble.
Yeah, based on a lot of eggie's previous comments regarding rape and sex,
QuoteAbout the same or less, because a girl who says she has a boyfriend is normally not interestedMost girls, especially young ones have 'a boyfriend' but are still looking around to trade up. They're quite happy to use the boyfriend as an excuse to make a guy keep his distance until they're more sure about him. Just from my own experience and seeing how other relationships seem to pan out.
About the same or less, because a girl who says she has a boyfriend is normally not interested
I beg to differ, but it isn't important enough for me to go digging around for them.
And as for what really matters, I think how a relationship ends does matter. Some ends are far more painful than others and can make it more difficult for a dumpee to move on or come to terms with it.
Quote from: Chinguetti on April 03, 2017, 01:29:54 pmQuote from: Pecan on April 03, 2017, 01:26:57 pmQuote from: eggieguffer on April 03, 2017, 01:08:28 pmQuoteEspecially if there was no previous suggestions of it AND I had a boyfriend... Yikes!Fair enough about the first part but how much action do you reckon a guy would get if he never hit on a girl who said she had a boyfriend?I know I'm a GEN-X gray hair, but are you guys telling me that as millennials, you would consider/label that sort of message as "hitting on girl"?I can't believe that THAT approach would ever bear fruit.I'm only able to see it as offensive and producing negative results.It translates as "I'm drunk'n horny and want to use you as a semen receptacle."Educate me ;)Pretty much. There are a couple of guys in my area who are like this, and they're pretty notorious among the expats (male and female). It kind of ruins their shot at a lot of girls who might have been interested in them before. Doesn't mean that they don't get lucky from time to time... but they don't get nearly as lucky as they could. Using this kind of tactic just kind of sets you up for failure. It rarely works because it's such a huge turnoff. Makes you look desperate and scuzzy.I totally see what you're saying and doing something so overt like this rarely works, but I understand why guys do it and it has more to do with wanting a casual encounter with an attractive member of the opposite sex and less to do with anything scuzzy. For men, our first thought is 'oh she's attractive and I'm not looking for anything serious..' It's as simple as that. Women obviously don't see it that way so taking that approach doesn't bear fruit so to speak, but coming from a guy's perspective, I sympathize with but don't condone the moonshot approach.
Quote from: Pecan on April 03, 2017, 01:26:57 pmQuote from: eggieguffer on April 03, 2017, 01:08:28 pmQuoteEspecially if there was no previous suggestions of it AND I had a boyfriend... Yikes!Fair enough about the first part but how much action do you reckon a guy would get if he never hit on a girl who said she had a boyfriend?I know I'm a GEN-X gray hair, but are you guys telling me that as millennials, you would consider/label that sort of message as "hitting on girl"?I can't believe that THAT approach would ever bear fruit.I'm only able to see it as offensive and producing negative results.It translates as "I'm drunk'n horny and want to use you as a semen receptacle."Educate me ;)Pretty much. There are a couple of guys in my area who are like this, and they're pretty notorious among the expats (male and female). It kind of ruins their shot at a lot of girls who might have been interested in them before. Doesn't mean that they don't get lucky from time to time... but they don't get nearly as lucky as they could. Using this kind of tactic just kind of sets you up for failure. It rarely works because it's such a huge turnoff. Makes you look desperate and scuzzy.
Quote from: eggieguffer on April 03, 2017, 01:08:28 pmQuoteEspecially if there was no previous suggestions of it AND I had a boyfriend... Yikes!Fair enough about the first part but how much action do you reckon a guy would get if he never hit on a girl who said she had a boyfriend?I know I'm a GEN-X gray hair, but are you guys telling me that as millennials, you would consider/label that sort of message as "hitting on girl"?I can't believe that THAT approach would ever bear fruit.I'm only able to see it as offensive and producing negative results.It translates as "I'm drunk'n horny and want to use you as a semen receptacle."Educate me ;)
QuoteEspecially if there was no previous suggestions of it AND I had a boyfriend... Yikes!Fair enough about the first part but how much action do you reckon a guy would get if he never hit on a girl who said she had a boyfriend?
Especially if there was no previous suggestions of it AND I had a boyfriend... Yikes!
QuoteI beg to differ, but it isn't important enough for me to go digging around for them.Nice, is that how you argue with people IRL? 'I think you're trying to be a fuckboy troll, or a fuckboy (whatever they mean) but I can't be bothered to remember what you said that made me think that. If you can't remember, maybe it wasn't that big a deal and you shouldn't say it?
Endings are generally only worse because the person has stronger feelings for the person who dumps them. If the person dumps them in a nasty way, if anything it'll make them get over that person more quickly.
Quote from: eggieguffer on April 03, 2017, 06:56:30 pmQuoteI beg to differ, but it isn't important enough for me to go digging around for them.Nice, is that how you argue with people IRL? 'I think you're trying to be a fuckboy troll, or a fuckboy (whatever they mean) but I can't be bothered to remember what you said that made me think that. If you can't remember, maybe it wasn't that big a deal and you shouldn't say it? Or maybe you should take greater care in what you say to begin with. I stand by everything I've said, including the apology if I'm wrong about any of it. In that regard, it's probably best to think a little more before you post. It's not hard to see where I'm coming from. Like, at all. And it's high time you start being able to take a little of what you dish out. If you don't like people pointing fingers at you, maybe you should stop wagging yours at others so much, especially where it doesn't belong.If you can't accept that, then we can agree to disagree. QuoteEndings are generally only worse because the person has stronger feelings for the person who dumps them. If the person dumps them in a nasty way, if anything it'll make them get over that person more quickly.I disagree. A breakup is always worse when one person is being especially nasty about it, no matter how serious or not-serious a relationship was to begin with. Just look at the way you react to how I engage with you on this forum. You don't take it very well when I get nasty with you, and I'm pretty sure you don't really "care" about me in real life one way or the other. While the lack of strong feelings can make it easier to walk away from a nasty breakup, a "good" breakup will still be easier and be less likely to leave a bitter taste in your mouth.
Yawn, not the old 'you're more offended than me spiel' that crops up in every internet argument ever had.
wahhh? i don't know any of my friends who have boyfriends that are 'looking around to trade up'
Quote from: turningsteel on April 03, 2017, 04:00:25 pmI totally see what you're saying and doing something so overt like this rarely works, but I understand why guys do it and it has more to do with wanting a casual encounter with an attractive member of the opposite sex and less to do with anything scuzzy. For men, our first thought is 'oh she's attractive and I'm not looking for anything serious..' It's as simple as that. Women obviously don't see it that way so taking that approach doesn't bear fruit so to speak, but coming from a guy's perspective, I sympathize with but don't condone the moonshot approach.Am I the only traditional guy around here, who attracts a girl's attention by throwing small rocks to them?
I totally see what you're saying and doing something so overt like this rarely works, but I understand why guys do it and it has more to do with wanting a casual encounter with an attractive member of the opposite sex and less to do with anything scuzzy. For men, our first thought is 'oh she's attractive and I'm not looking for anything serious..' It's as simple as that. Women obviously don't see it that way so taking that approach doesn't bear fruit so to speak, but coming from a guy's perspective, I sympathize with but don't condone the moonshot approach.
Quote from: Dave Stepz on April 04, 2017, 06:57:53 amQuote from: turningsteel on April 03, 2017, 04:00:25 pmI totally see what you're saying and doing something so overt like this rarely works, but I understand why guys do it and it has more to do with wanting a casual encounter with an attractive member of the opposite sex and less to do with anything scuzzy. For men, our first thought is 'oh she's attractive and I'm not looking for anything serious..' It's as simple as that. Women obviously don't see it that way so taking that approach doesn't bear fruit so to speak, but coming from a guy's perspective, I sympathize with but don't condone the moonshot approach.Am I the only traditional guy around here, who attracts a girl's attention by throwing small rocks to them?Try using food.
Quote from: The Arm on April 03, 2017, 07:00:50 pmQuote from: turningsteel on April 03, 2017, 04:00:25 pmQuote from: Chinguetti on April 03, 2017, 01:29:54 pmQuote from: Pecan on April 03, 2017, 01:26:57 pmQuote from: eggieguffer on April 03, 2017, 01:08:28 pmQuoteEspecially if there was no previous suggestions of it AND I had a boyfriend... Yikes!Fair enough about the first part but how much action do you reckon a guy would get if he never hit on a girl who said she had a boyfriend?I know I'm a GEN-X gray hair, but are you guys telling me that as millennials, you would consider/label that sort of message as "hitting on girl"?I can't believe that THAT approach would ever bear fruit.I'm only able to see it as offensive and producing negative results.It translates as "I'm drunk'n horny and want to use you as a semen receptacle."Educate me ;)Pretty much. There are a couple of guys in my area who are like this, and they're pretty notorious among the expats (male and female). It kind of ruins their shot at a lot of girls who might have been interested in them before. Doesn't mean that they don't get lucky from time to time... but they don't get nearly as lucky as they could. Using this kind of tactic just kind of sets you up for failure. It rarely works because it's such a huge turnoff. Makes you look desperate and scuzzy.I totally see what you're saying and doing something so overt like this rarely works, but I understand why guys do it and it has more to do with wanting a casual encounter with an attractive member of the opposite sex and less to do with anything scuzzy. For men, our first thought is 'oh she's attractive and I'm not looking for anything serious..' It's as simple as that. Women obviously don't see it that way so taking that approach doesn't bear fruit so to speak, but coming from a guy's perspective, I sympathize with but don't condone the moonshot approach.Great post by the way turningsteel. Acknowledging the differences between men and women is relevant. Women can't ever fully understand how men think about sex because they can never experience it.Completely agree with you here; I sympathize with but don't condone it.So dumb.Women can be just as into casual sex as men, the difference is men seem to be unable to discern whether or not the girl they are talking to wants it. You can't just go around saying that stuff to someone who is not into you. We don't care how you think about sex, it's nothing special, y'all are just lacking common social skills and don't seem to know how to go after casual sex while still respecting social norms & the person you're talking to.It's not that hard, just don't be an idiot.
Quote from: turningsteel on April 03, 2017, 04:00:25 pmQuote from: Chinguetti on April 03, 2017, 01:29:54 pmQuote from: Pecan on April 03, 2017, 01:26:57 pmQuote from: eggieguffer on April 03, 2017, 01:08:28 pmQuoteEspecially if there was no previous suggestions of it AND I had a boyfriend... Yikes!Fair enough about the first part but how much action do you reckon a guy would get if he never hit on a girl who said she had a boyfriend?I know I'm a GEN-X gray hair, but are you guys telling me that as millennials, you would consider/label that sort of message as "hitting on girl"?I can't believe that THAT approach would ever bear fruit.I'm only able to see it as offensive and producing negative results.It translates as "I'm drunk'n horny and want to use you as a semen receptacle."Educate me ;)Pretty much. There are a couple of guys in my area who are like this, and they're pretty notorious among the expats (male and female). It kind of ruins their shot at a lot of girls who might have been interested in them before. Doesn't mean that they don't get lucky from time to time... but they don't get nearly as lucky as they could. Using this kind of tactic just kind of sets you up for failure. It rarely works because it's such a huge turnoff. Makes you look desperate and scuzzy.I totally see what you're saying and doing something so overt like this rarely works, but I understand why guys do it and it has more to do with wanting a casual encounter with an attractive member of the opposite sex and less to do with anything scuzzy. For men, our first thought is 'oh she's attractive and I'm not looking for anything serious..' It's as simple as that. Women obviously don't see it that way so taking that approach doesn't bear fruit so to speak, but coming from a guy's perspective, I sympathize with but don't condone the moonshot approach.Great post by the way turningsteel. Acknowledging the differences between men and women is relevant. Women can't ever fully understand how men think about sex because they can never experience it.Completely agree with you here; I sympathize with but don't condone it.
Ok, newsflash. Guys who do this sort of thing tend not to mind their Ps and Qs and keep their elbows off the table do they? Social skills/social norms go out of the window pretty quickly if you're just looking for sex and you're hedging your bets.
Women can be just as into casual sex as men, the difference is men seem to be unable to discern whether or not the girl they are talking to wants it. You can't just go around saying that stuff to someone who is not into you. We don't care how you think about sex, it's nothing special, y'all are just lacking common social skills and don't seem to know how to go after casual sex while still respecting social norms & the person you're talking to
No, at night I just stand around the street corners beating my chest like an ape. You'd be surprised at how successful that can be in Itaewon.
Quote from: The Arm on April 03, 2017, 07:00:50 pmGreat post by the way turningsteel. Acknowledging the differences between men and women is relevant. Women can't ever fully understand how men think about sex because they can never experience it.Completely agree with you here; I sympathize with but don't condone it.So dumb.Women can be just as into casual sex as men, the difference is men seem to be unable to discern whether or not the girl they are talking to wants it. You can't just go around saying that stuff to someone who is not into you. We don't care how you think about sex, it's nothing special, y'all are just lacking common social skills and don't seem to know how to go after casual sex while still respecting social norms & the person you're talking to.It's not that hard, just don't be an idiot.
Great post by the way turningsteel. Acknowledging the differences between men and women is relevant. Women can't ever fully understand how men think about sex because they can never experience it.Completely agree with you here; I sympathize with but don't condone it.