RANTING/VENTING MEGATHREAD 3.0

Especially if there was no previous suggestions of it AND I had a boyfriend... Yikes!

Fair enough about the first part but how much action do you reckon a guy would get if he never hit on a girl who said she had a boyfriend?

@#basedcowboyshirt: Yeah, based on a lot of eggie's previous comments regarding rape and sex, he's either trying to be a fuckboy troll, or he is a fuckboy with an agenda. Proceed with snark.

Especially if there was no previous suggestions of it AND I had a boyfriend... Yikes!

Fair enough about the first part but how much action do you reckon a guy would get if he never hit on a girl who said she had a boyfriend?

About the same or less, because a girl who says she has a boyfriend is normally not interested. You can take "not interested" and double that if she's lying about the boyfriend. If other girls are around and you gain a reputation as a result of this behavior, your chances of sleeping with x number of girls go down. But a guy this dumb probably wouldn't know any different.

If a girl says she has a boyfriend, but she's made suggestive remarks indicating that she's either lying or that she's willing to cheat on said boyfriend (and these suggestions are normally very forward, if made at all), then that guy MIGHT have a chance at sleeping with her (in most cases, though, if a girl tells a guy she's got a boyfriend, that's a pretty strong indication that she's not interested in him EVEN IF she were willing to cheat on her boyfriend).

But the suggestion would still have to be made in some way, and this suggestion is normally very obvious and forward (in most cases if a girl doesn't know you and she's interested in cheating on her boyfriend with you, said boyfriend doesn't get mentioned at all).

If a girl says she has a boyfriend and she's neither said or done anything to indicate that she would be interested in cheating, and you ignore this very normal social cue and proceed to hit on the girl anyway, you're a creep.

Especially if there was no previous suggestions of it AND I had a boyfriend... Yikes!

Fair enough about the first part but how much action do you reckon a guy would get if he never hit on a girl who said she had a boyfriend?

I know I'm a GEN-X gray hair, but are you guys telling me that as millennials, you would consider/label that sort of message as "hitting on girl"?

I can't believe that THAT approach would ever bear fruit.

I'm only able to see it as offensive and producing negative results.

It translates as "I'm drunk'n horny and want to use you as a semen receptacle."

Educate me ;)

Especially if there was no previous suggestions of it AND I had a boyfriend... Yikes!

Fair enough about the first part but how much action do you reckon a guy would get if he never hit on a girl who said she had a boyfriend?

I know I'm a GEN-X gray hair, but are you guys telling me that as millennials, you would consider/label that sort of message as "hitting on girl"?

I can't believe that THAT approach would ever bear fruit.

I'm only able to see it as offensive and producing negative results.

It translates as "I'm drunk'n horny and want to use you as a semen receptacle."

Educate me ;)

Pretty much. There are a couple of guys in my area who are like this, and they're pretty notorious among the expats (male and female). It kind of ruins their shot at a lot of girls who might have been interested in them before. Doesn't mean that they don't get lucky from time to time... but they don't get nearly as lucky as they could.

Using this kind of tactic just kind of sets you up for failure. It rarely works because it's such a huge turnoff. Makes you look desperate and scuzzy.

I was raised to treat the girl you are with like you would want your future wife to be treated by the man she is currently with (if you can follow that).

Perhaps it's too profound, but if a man wants his future wife to be treated respectfully, he should treat the girls he dates likewise.

It's kind of a no-brainer, no?

Teachers in the US have been reprimanded or even fired/forced to resign over photos on social media of them with alcohol. 

Can you imagine if teachers in Korea were fired for getting caught drinking?  There'd be hardly any teachers left.

If you bring someone's personal life into a workplace and try to get them fired, YOU should be fired.

If they're an elected representative, I get it.

Anyone remember dongle disaster?

http://techcrunch.com/2013/03/21/a-dongle-joke-that-spiraled-way-out-of-control/

I was raised to treat the girl you are with like you would want your future wife to be treated by the man she is currently with (if you can follow that).

Perhaps it's too profound, but if a man wants his future wife to be treated respectfully, he should treat the girls he dates likewise.

It's kind of a no-brainer, no?

I appreciate a more old fashioned attitude toward the dating scene.  A hearty thumbs up to you, good sir. 

Teachers in the US have been reprimanded or even fired/forced to resign over photos on social media of them with alcohol. 

Can you imagine if teachers in Korea were fired for getting caught drinking?  There'd be hardly any teachers left.

If you bring someone's personal life into a workplace and try to get them fired, YOU should be fired.

If they're an elected representative, I get it.

Anyone remember dongle disaster?

http://techcrunch.com/2013/03/21/a-dongle-joke-that-spiraled-way-out-of-control/

One of the articles I read was about a teacher who was forced to choose between being fired or "voluntarily" resigning because some parent had found a photo of her holding glasses of alcohol on her social media page.  The teacher had no idea how the parent got access to the page because all the settings were set to highly private and she didn't befriend any students.  The teacher ended up suing the school for her job back and I'm not sure what happened thereafter. 

About the same or less, because a girl who says she has a boyfriend is normally not interested

Most girls, especially young ones have 'a boyfriend' but are still looking around to trade up. They're quite happy to use the boyfriend as an excuse to make a guy keep his distance until they're more sure about him. Just from my own experience and seeing how other relationships seem to pan out.

Yeah, based on a lot of eggie's previous comments regarding rape and sex,

 I haven't made any comments about rape or sex that have been particularly controversial. At least outside the liberal arts major Western university bubble.

Teachers in the US have been reprimanded or even fired/forced to resign over photos on social media of them with alcohol. 

Can you imagine if teachers in Korea were fired for getting caught drinking?  There'd be hardly any teachers left.

If you bring someone's personal life into a workplace and try to get them fired, YOU should be fired.

If they're an elected representative, I get it.

Anyone remember dongle disaster?

http://techcrunch.com/2013/03/21/a-dongle-joke-that-spiraled-way-out-of-control/

One of the articles I read was about a teacher who was forced to choose between being fired or "voluntarily" resigning because some parent had found a photo of her holding glasses of alcohol on her social media page.  The teacher had no idea how the parent got access to the page because all the settings were set to highly private and she didn't befriend any students.  The teacher ended up suing the school for her job back and I'm not sure what happened thereafter.

I've heard of that happening before too but they's usually in private schools or catholic/christian schools. I'm not sure about all school contracts, but usually those particular schools have something you have to sign about how you need to behave even publicly so students don't see you. I know for a fact that my 6th grade teacher was a coke head but he kept it together in school and as far as I know he's still teaching. (I also found out years later about his habits but w.e. that's his business)

About the same or less, because a girl who says she has a boyfriend is normally not interested

Most girls, especially young ones have 'a boyfriend' but are still looking around to trade up. They're quite happy to use the boyfriend as an excuse to make a guy keep his distance until they're more sure about him. Just from my own experience and seeing how other relationships seem to pan out.

What kind of people are you hanging around?   

Most of the people I know are not like that.   The type you've found to be common are really uncommon from what I've seen. 

What kind of people are you hanging around?   

Most of the people I know are not like that.   The type you've found to be common are really uncommon from what I've seen.

Come on, how many people these days end up marrying the person they're dating in their early to mid twenties? Most women know they're going to be playing the field when they're young. Also a lot of women don't like being on their own for extended periods of time, so they wait till they've found the next guy before breaking up with the previous one. It's pretty normal behaviour.

What kind of people are you hanging around?   

Most of the people I know are not like that.   The type you've found to be common are really uncommon from what I've seen.

Come on, how many people these days end up marrying the person they're dating in their early to mid twenties? Most women know they're going to be playing the field when they're young.

Then I misunderstood.  Your comments made it sound like overtly cheating.  Most decent people break up with someone before making a new attachment. 

Also, if that's what you mean by "playing the field" it's hardly unique to women-- both sexes tend to date around before settling down. 

In my personal experience I've met far more clingy males than females who can't stand to be alone. 

You made it sound like overtly cheating though.  Most decent people break up with someone before making a new attachment. 

Just hasn't been my experience generally.

You made it sound like overtly cheating though.  Most decent people break up with someone before making a new attachment. 

Just hasn't been my experience generally.

That's kinda what I mean-- I find that unfortunate.  Most people I know are of the decent sort.

Come on, how many people these days end up marrying the person they're dating in their early to mid twenties? Most women know they're going to be playing the field when they're young. Also a lot of women don't like being on their own for extended periods of time, so they wait till they've found the next guy before breaking up with the previous one. It's pretty normal behaviour.

What is "playing the field" to you? Because to me, it means talking to more than one guy to see who you click with, without being exclusive with anyone, so that you can eventually choose a guy to be exclusive with*. It doesn't mean, be a gross cheater that dates with every intention to mess around with other people if someone more interesting comes along. Or am I in the minority here?

*To be clear: TALKING TO. Potentially doing that at a cafe or restaurant or while doing some innocuous fun thing like noraebang, but just getting to know a person via conversation. Not being physically intimate with.

Come on, how many people these days end up marrying the person they're dating in their early to mid twenties? Most women know they're going to be playing the field when they're young. Also a lot of women don't like being on their own for extended periods of time, so they wait till they've found the next guy before breaking up with the previous one. It's pretty normal behaviour.

What is "playing the field" to you? Because to me, it means talking to more than one guy to see who you click with, without being exclusive with anyone, so that you can eventually choose a guy to be exclusive with*. It doesn't mean, be a gross cheater that dates with every intention to mess around with other people if someone more interesting comes along. Or am I in the minority here?

*To be clear: TALKING TO. Potentially doing that at a cafe or restaurant or while doing some innocuous fun thing like noraebang, but just getting to know a person via conversation. Not being physically intimate with.

I always heard "playing the field" used in terms of someone being a cheater. Like that's where being a player stemmed from is how I always saw it.

Come on, how many people these days end up marrying the person they're dating in their early to mid twenties? Most women know they're going to be playing the field when they're young. Also a lot of women don't like being on their own for extended periods of time, so they wait till they've found the next guy before breaking up with the previous one. It's pretty normal behaviour.

What is "playing the field" to you? Because to me, it means talking to more than one guy to see who you click with, without being exclusive with anyone, so that you can eventually choose a guy to be exclusive with*. It doesn't mean, be a gross cheater that dates with every intention to mess around with other people if someone more interesting comes along. Or am I in the minority here?

*To be clear: TALKING TO. Potentially doing that at a cafe or restaurant or while doing some innocuous fun thing like noraebang, but just getting to know a person via conversation. Not being physically intimate with.

I always heard "playing the field" used in terms of someone being a cheater. Like that's where being a player stemmed from is how I always saw it.

Me rn:



You've actually caused me to realize this for the first time. No sarcasm. 

That's kinda what I mean-- I find that unfortunate.  Most people I know are of the decent sort.

Meh, most women in my experience will do anything to avoid breaking up with anyone outright .They either just stop returning phone calls, start flaking on a regular basis and expect the guy to get the message or gradually start seeing someone else.  I wouldn't say people who do this kind of thing aren't decent, just a little spineless maybe. If you know plenty of people who don't behave in this way maybe the dynamics of relationships have changed since I was dating.

Especially if there was no previous suggestions of it AND I had a boyfriend... Yikes!

Fair enough about the first part but how much action do you reckon a guy would get if he never hit on a girl who said she had a boyfriend?

I know I'm a GEN-X gray hair, but are you guys telling me that as millennials, you would consider/label that sort of message as "hitting on girl"?

I can't believe that THAT approach would ever bear fruit.

I'm only able to see it as offensive and producing negative results.

It translates as "I'm drunk'n horny and want to use you as a semen receptacle."

Educate me ;)

Pretty much. There are a couple of guys in my area who are like this, and they're pretty notorious among the expats (male and female). It kind of ruins their shot at a lot of girls who might have been interested in them before. Doesn't mean that they don't get lucky from time to time... but they don't get nearly as lucky as they could.

Using this kind of tactic just kind of sets you up for failure. It rarely works because it's such a huge turnoff. Makes you look desperate and scuzzy.

I totally see what you're saying and doing something so overt like this rarely works, but I understand why guys do it and it has more to do with wanting a casual encounter with an attractive member of the opposite sex and less to do with anything scuzzy.  For men, our first thought is 'oh she's attractive and I'm not looking for anything serious..' It's as simple as that.  Women obviously don't see it that way so taking that approach doesn't bear fruit so to speak, but coming from a guy's perspective, I sympathize with but don't condone the moonshot approach.