RANTING/VENTING MEGATHREAD 3.0

I totally see what you're saying and doing something so overt like this rarely works, but I understand why guys do it and it has more to do with wanting a casual encounter with an attractive member of the opposite sex and less to do with anything scuzzy.  For men, our first thought is 'oh she's attractive and I'm not looking for anything serious..' It's as simple as that.  Women obviously don't see it that way so taking that approach doesn't bear fruit so to speak, but coming from a guy's perspective, I sympathize with but don't condone the moonshot approach.

Am I the only traditional guy around here, who attracts a girl's attention by throwing small rocks to them?

Try using food. 

I totally see what you're saying and doing something so overt like this rarely works, but I understand why guys do it and it has more to do with wanting a casual encounter with an attractive member of the opposite sex and less to do with anything scuzzy.  For men, our first thought is 'oh she's attractive and I'm not looking for anything serious..' It's as simple as that.  Women obviously don't see it that way so taking that approach doesn't bear fruit so to speak, but coming from a guy's perspective, I sympathize with but don't condone the moonshot approach.

Am I the only traditional guy around here, who attracts a girl's attention by throwing small rocks to them?

Try using food.

I remember all the traditional things my boyfriend did to woo me. Whispering sweet nothings, being a gentleman, going on fun dates, following me to my lair,  laying down a trail of seeds, throwing a pokeball at my face. Nice memories. <3

I totally see what you're saying and doing something so overt like this rarely works, but I understand why guys do it and it has more to do with wanting a casual encounter with an attractive member of the opposite sex and less to do with anything scuzzy.  For men, our first thought is 'oh she's attractive and I'm not looking for anything serious..' It's as simple as that.  Women obviously don't see it that way so taking that approach doesn't bear fruit so to speak, but coming from a guy's perspective, I sympathize with but don't condone the moonshot approach.

Am I the only traditional guy around here, who attracts a girl's attention by throwing small rocks to them?

Chocolate rocks are good. Or are you pelting them at the window in the dark night?

Especially if there was no previous suggestions of it AND I had a boyfriend... Yikes!

Fair enough about the first part but how much action do you reckon a guy would get if he never hit on a girl who said she had a boyfriend?

I know I'm a GEN-X gray hair, but are you guys telling me that as millennials, you would consider/label that sort of message as "hitting on girl"?

I can't believe that THAT approach would ever bear fruit.

I'm only able to see it as offensive and producing negative results.

It translates as "I'm drunk'n horny and want to use you as a semen receptacle."

Educate me ;)

Pretty much. There are a couple of guys in my area who are like this, and they're pretty notorious among the expats (male and female). It kind of ruins their shot at a lot of girls who might have been interested in them before. Doesn't mean that they don't get lucky from time to time... but they don't get nearly as lucky as they could.

Using this kind of tactic just kind of sets you up for failure. It rarely works because it's such a huge turnoff. Makes you look desperate and scuzzy.

I totally see what you're saying and doing something so overt like this rarely works, but I understand why guys do it and it has more to do with wanting a casual encounter with an attractive member of the opposite sex and less to do with anything scuzzy.  For men, our first thought is 'oh she's attractive and I'm not looking for anything serious..' It's as simple as that.  Women obviously don't see it that way so taking that approach doesn't bear fruit so to speak, but coming from a guy's perspective, I sympathize with but don't condone the moonshot approach.

Great post by the way turningsteel. 

Acknowledging the differences between men and women is relevant.  Women can't ever fully understand how men think about sex because they can never experience it.

Completely agree with you here; I sympathize with but don't condone it.

So dumb.

Women can be just as into casual sex as men, the difference is men seem to be unable to discern whether or not the girl they are talking to wants it. You can't just go around saying that stuff to someone who is not into you. We don't care how you think about sex, it's nothing special, y'all are just lacking common social skills and don't seem to know how to go after casual sex while still respecting social norms & the person you're talking to.

It's not that hard, just don't be an idiot.

Ok, newsflash.  Guys who do this sort of thing tend not to mind their Ps and Qs and keep their elbows off the table do they?  Social skills/social norms go out of the window pretty quickly if you're just looking for sex and you're hedging your bets.

Yea women are into casual sex, but they can get it any time they want so it's COMPLETELY different.

Ok, newsflash.  Guys who do this sort of thing tend not to mind their Ps and Qs and keep their elbows off the table do they?  Social skills/social norms go out of the window pretty quickly if you're just looking for sex and you're hedging your bets.

Yep, it's the numbers game. A bit like spammers who might send a million emails to get one sucker ready to part with his cash.

Women can be just as into casual sex as men, the difference is men seem to be unable to discern whether or not the girl they are talking to wants it. You can't just go around saying that stuff to someone who is not into you. We don't care how you think about sex, it's nothing special, y'all are just lacking common social skills and don't seem to know how to go after casual sex while still respecting social norms & the person you're talking to

Speak for yourself. I've seen plenty of drunk women at parties/night clubs with all the social skills of a walrus, propositioning men for sex.  Had it happen to me a few times as well

Yeah, beleive it or not, different women have different ways of doing things. The scatter gun method that some men use is used becuase it has success. More than you would think. I haven't done that in like 8 years and I honestly couldn't bring myself to do it now, but it was easily the period of my life where I was pulling down the highest numbers. And there were PLENTY of women doing the same thing. Granted you have to leave your ego at the door as it will take a beating, but it works.

NB: This wasn't in Korea. I don't think it would fly here like it does in the west. Though I've never tried it here so I wouldn't know for sure.

No, at night I just stand around the street corners beating my chest like an ape.  You'd be surprised at how successful that can be in Itaewon. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tAhIg5Dy3uA

Always sexy.

Great post by the way turningsteel. 

Acknowledging the differences between men and women is relevant.  Women can't ever fully understand how men think about sex because they can never experience it.

Completely agree with you here; I sympathize with but don't condone it.

So dumb.

Women can be just as into casual sex as men, the difference is men seem to be unable to discern whether or not the girl they are talking to wants it. You can't just go around saying that stuff to someone who is not into you. We don't care how you think about sex, it's nothing special, y'all are just lacking common social skills and don't seem to know how to go after casual sex while still respecting social norms & the person you're talking to.

It's not that hard, just don't be an idiot.

+1

But, please, regale me oh wise one of the differences between men and women. We just can't *possibly* understand your arcane Boner Physics. I think what you're trying to say is that you want to bang a lot of chicks without any of them expecting to be treated like people. And, yeah sure, I don't understand that.

What the hell did I start? hahaha

What the hell did I start? hahaha

Pages of fine popcorn reading.

No, at night I just stand around the street corners beating my chest like an ape.  You'd be surprised at how successful that can be in Itaewon. 

Have you also tried searching scalps for lice? What's your success rate?

What the hell did I start? hahaha

What didn't you start?

Next time think of the children.

Just got strong-armed into doing something that I don't want to do.

I was able to negotiate a bit and get a little something in return, so it's not a lose-lose situation.

Still pisses me off that I can't just simply say "no" without it turning into a big deal here, though.

This happened to me last week too.
Co-T: "The kindergarten teacher complained you having been showing up to teach Kindergarten."
Me: "Kindergarten isn't a class on my schedule, and you only asked me to introduce myself to that class on my first week."
Co-T: "Yeah, but, the old teacher would do it, and we're not allowed to add it to your schedule..."
Me: "Why aren't you allowed to add it to my schedule?"
Co-T: "Yes. I'll tell the kindergarten teacher that you are going to come every week now. This will be off the records..."
Me: "Uhhh.... What???????"

I tried to fight it a little more, but he still told the kindergarten teacher I'd be doing a kindergarten class once a week. I heard it's illegal for NETs to teach kindergarten, unless it's in an afterschool class AND they agreed to it. That info could be wrong however, I eventually pointed it out, but even still, I don't understand how he thought I agreed to it
though.

Just got strong-armed into doing something that I don't want to do.

I was able to negotiate a bit and get a little something in return, so it's not a lose-lose situation.

Still pisses me off that I can't just simply say "no" without it turning into a big deal here, though.

This happened to me last week too.
Co-T: "The kindergarten teacher complained you having been showing up to teach Kindergarten."
Me: "Kindergarten isn't a class on my schedule, and you only asked me to introduce myself to that class on my first week."
Co-T: "Yeah, but, the old teacher would do it, and we're not allowed to add it to your schedule..."
Me: "Why aren't you allowed to add it to my schedule?"
Co-T: "Yes. I'll tell the kindergarten teacher that you are going to come every week now. This will be off the records..."
Me: "Uhhh.... What???????"

I tried to fight it a little more, but he still told the kindergarten teacher I'd be doing a kindergarten class once a week. I heard it's illegal for NETs to teach kindergarten, unless it's in an afterschool class AND they agreed to it. That info could be wrong however, I eventually pointed it out, but even still, I don't understand how he thought I agreed to it
though.

Are you going to do it though?

That situation would be so awkward. Maybe say politely you are going to ask the office of education about it?

Co-T: "The kindergarten teacher complained you haven't been showing up to teach Kindergarten."
Me: "Kindergarten isn't a class on my schedule, and you only asked me to introduce myself to that class on my first week."
Co-T: "Yeah, but, the previous NET would do it, and we're not allowed to add it to your schedule..."
Me: "Why aren't you allowed to add it to my schedule?"
Co-T: "Yes. I'll tell the kindergarten teacher that you are going to come every week now. This will be off the records..."
Me: "Uhhh.... What???????"

I tried to fight it a little more, but he still told the kindergarten teacher I'd be doing a kindergarten class once a week. I heard it's illegal for NETs to teach kindergarten, unless it's in an afterschool class AND they agreed to it. That info could be wrong however, I eventually pointed it out, but even still, I don't understand how he thought I agreed to it
though.

The fact that it's "off the record" means that your school darn well knows that theyre not supposed to be doing it.

Just got strong-armed into doing something that I don't want to do.

I was able to negotiate a bit and get a little something in return, so it's not a lose-lose situation.

Still pisses me off that I can't just simply say "no" without it turning into a big deal here, though.

This happened to me last week too.
Co-T: "The kindergarten teacher complained you having been showing up to teach Kindergarten."
Me: "Kindergarten isn't a class on my schedule, and you only asked me to introduce myself to that class on my first week."
Co-T: "Yeah, but, the old teacher would do it, and we're not allowed to add it to your schedule..."
Me: "Why aren't you allowed to add it to my schedule?"
Co-T: "Yes. I'll tell the kindergarten teacher that you are going to come every week now. This will be off the records..."
Me: "Uhhh.... What???????"

I tried to fight it a little more, but he still told the kindergarten teacher I'd be doing a kindergarten class once a week. I heard it's illegal for NETs to teach kindergarten, unless it's in an afterschool class AND they agreed to it. That info could be wrong however, I eventually pointed it out, but even still, I don't understand how he thought I agreed to it
though.

Are you going to do it though?

That situation would be so awkward. Maybe say politely you are going to ask the office of education about it?

I only have 3.5 weeks left before I leave, so I told them, if they prepare everything they want me to do - so I only have to show up, present it, and then leave.
If they aren't willing to prepare anything, then I'm not willing to teach it.
They didn't say yes, or no, to that, so we'll see what happens.
However, I'm leaving a note, for if there is a teacher replacing me, letting them know that it is probably illegal, so they have the choice to do it or not.

Say that you were told at orientation and from your co-ordinator that you should never teach kindergarten and you could get in big trouble and get deported etc etc

Co-T: "The kindergarten teacher complained you haven't been showing up to teach Kindergarten."
Me: "Kindergarten isn't a class on my schedule, and you only asked me to introduce myself to that class on my first week."
Co-T: "Yeah, but, the previous NET would do it, and we're not allowed to add it to your schedule..."
Me: "Why aren't you allowed to add it to my schedule?"
Co-T: "Yes. I'll tell the kindergarten teacher that you are going to come every week now. This will be off the records..."
Me: "Uhhh.... What???????"

I tried to fight it a little more, but he still told the kindergarten teacher I'd be doing a kindergarten class once a week. I heard it's illegal for NETs to teach kindergarten, unless it's in an afterschool class AND they agreed to it. That info could be wrong however, I eventually pointed it out, but even still, I don't understand how he thought I agreed to it
though.

The fact that it's "off the record" means that your school darn well knows that theyre not supposed to be doing it.

Lol I thought that too! and only reinforced the info of "it's illegal to do this in Korea."

What the hell did I start? hahaha

What didn't you start?

Next time think of the children.

Children? That's only if he finished, surely?

This happened to me last week too.
Co-T: "The kindergarten teacher complained you having been showing up to teach Kindergarten."
Me: "Kindergarten isn't a class on my schedule, and you only asked me to introduce myself to that class on my first week."
Co-T: "Yeah, but, the old teacher would do it, and we're not allowed to add it to your schedule..."
Me: "Why aren't you allowed to add it to my schedule?"
Co-T: "Yes. I'll tell the kindergarten teacher that you are going to come every week now. This will be off the records..."
Me: "Uhhh.... What???????"

I tried to fight it a little more, but he still told the kindergarten teacher I'd be doing a kindergarten class once a week. I heard it's illegal for NETs to teach kindergarten, unless it's in an afterschool class AND they agreed to it. That info could be wrong however, I eventually pointed it out, but even still, I don't understand how he thought I agreed to it
though.

If I was asked nicely to do something like this, I would probably agree. Doing anything is better than deskwarming. However, the kindergarten teacher actually complained, you're obviously expected to do it just because the previous foreign teacher did, and your concerns and feelings were outright ignored.

This is the kind of situation where you would be right to put your foot down. As a teacher of children and a foreign worker on a visa that has to be renewed annually, you should express concern about the consequences of breaking the law. We're always told how as teachers we have to be beacons of virtue. Does that magically not apply when the higher ups suddenly decide that it's convenient for us to break the law on their behalf?