RANTING/VENTING MEGATHREAD 3.0

What do you do when a co-teacher accuses you of things that aren't true?

She'll say that I said "XYZ" when I NEVER said them...

Annoying is starting to become an understatement. I understand that I need to adopt to other's idiosyncrasies but this behavior is borderline disrespectful....

It depends what they are saying. If its just water off a ducks back let it slide. It also depends on the individual. If they are well respected it will be worse then if everyone else knows they are cray cray.

If it ever becomes an issue bring in a third party and explain  that ths individual is misunderstanding what you said. That should be sufficiently embarrassing to make them never mention you again.

I have this quite often. I put it down to the need to protect their own asses. The 'misunderstanding' excuse is often used as the reasoning, and I too have now learned to just use it too. There is just always a lot of 'misunderstanding'. I hear you though, and yes, it is just very annoying and it is not always big things, just an accumulation of a lot of small things. I never said that, you never said that, I told you xxx, You never told me xxx etc... I get it.

I wrote a long screed about the various issues with camp, which was actually my best ever, before settling on this key tidbit: I often suspect that my colleagues inability to communicate effectively in English is projected onto me as a personal failure for which I bear the ultimate responsibility.

I wrote a long screed about the various issues with camp, which was actually my best ever, before settling on this key tidbit: I often suspect that my colleagues inability to communicate effectively in English is projected onto me as a personal failure for which I bear the ultimate responsibility.

yes.

What do you do when a co-teacher accuses you of things that aren't true?

She'll say that I said "XYZ" when I NEVER said them...

Annoying is starting to become an understatement. I understand that I need to adopt to other's idiosyncrasies but this behavior is borderline disrespectful....

It depends what they are saying. If its just water off a ducks back let it slide. It also depends on the individual. If they are well respected it will be worse then if everyone else knows they are cray cray.

If it ever becomes an issue bring in a third party and explain  that ths individual is misunderstanding what you said. That should be sufficiently embarrassing to make them never mention you again.

This person has an advanced level of English so she can't misinterpret my words. She'll do this about things that need to get done. For example:

Me: "xx, I'm doing the lesson plan for Class A. How many units in the reading book do they need to finish this session?"
Her: I'll do it because I need to figure it out.
A week later...
Her (opens up lesson plan and sees that there are no reading pages on lesson plan)
"You said you were going to put the pages in?"
Me: "no, I asked you how many units they needed to finish. You said, 'I'll do it bcuz I need to figure it out."

WTF...

The thread on the main page that says "Plans for the future" freaks me out so much I don't even like looking at the title, let alone the thought of reading it.  If that was something on my facebook feed I would've hidden it the second I saw it.

The thread on the main page that says "Plans for the future" freaks me out so much I don't even like looking at the title, let alone the thought of reading it.  If that was something on my facebook feed I would've hidden it the second I saw it.

OMG I had the same reaction! I immediately went into a panic response of  "Stop stop I don't know, what's with all the pressure!!!"

What do you do when a co-teacher accuses you of things that aren't true?

She'll say that I said "XYZ" when I NEVER said them...

Annoying is starting to become an understatement. I understand that I need to adopt to other's idiosyncrasies but this behavior is borderline disrespectful....

It depends what they are saying. If its just water off a ducks back let it slide. It also depends on the individual. If they are well respected it will be worse then if everyone else knows they are cray cray.

If it ever becomes an issue bring in a third party and explain  that ths individual is misunderstanding what you said. That should be sufficiently embarrassing to make them never mention you again.

This person has an advanced level of English so she can't misinterpret my words. She'll do this about things that need to get done. For example:

Me: "xx, I'm doing the lesson plan for Class A. How many units in the reading book do they need to finish this session?"
Her: I'll do it because I need to figure it out.
A week later...
Her (opens up lesson plan and sees that there are no reading pages on lesson plan)
"You said you were going to put the pages in?"
Me: "no, I asked you how many units they needed to finish. You said, 'I'll do it bcuz I need to figure it out."

WTF...

If there is a miscommunication while using English it is always their fault. No one will say it but everyone and their dog knows it. Hence the third party I mentioned causing embarrassment.

A potential solution to your problem. Do all planning and discussions through messenger. That way there is a back up of what they said. I have three CTs and we sit in a square. I could turn around and tap them on the soldier to discuss lesson plans. I always use messenger. I've also never had a problem like you described. (I of course only use it for planning. Not small talk or personal stuff.)

It is considered mildly rude though. But so is defending yourself against others incompetence. Take your pick.

What do you do when a co-teacher accuses you of things that aren't true?

She'll say that I said "XYZ" when I NEVER said them...

Annoying is starting to become an understatement. I understand that I need to adopt to other's idiosyncrasies but this behavior is borderline disrespectful....

It depends what they are saying. If its just water off a ducks back let it slide. It also depends on the individual. If they are well respected it will be worse then if everyone else knows they are cray cray.

If it ever becomes an issue bring in a third party and explain  that ths individual is misunderstanding what you said. That should be sufficiently embarrassing to make them never mention you again.

This person has an advanced level of English so she can't misinterpret my words. She'll do this about things that need to get done. For example:

Me: "xx, I'm doing the lesson plan for Class A. How many units in the reading book do they need to finish this session?"
Her: I'll do it because I need to figure it out.
A week later...
Her (opens up lesson plan and sees that there are no reading pages on lesson plan)
"You said you were going to put the pages in?"
Me: "no, I asked you how many units they needed to finish. You said, 'I'll do it bcuz I need to figure it out."

WTF...

If there is a miscommunication while using English it is always their fault. No one will say it but everyone and their dog knows it. Hence the third party I mentioned causing embarrassment.

A potential solution to your problem. Do all planning and discussions through messenger. That way there is a back up of what they said. I have three CTs and we sit in a square. I could turn around and tap them on the soldier to discuss lesson plans. I always use messenger. I've also never had a problem like you described. (I of course only use it for planning. Not small talk or personal stuff.)

It is considered mildly rude though. But so is defending yourself against others incompetence. Take your pick.

Although I'm a fan of your messenger idea, my school doesn't have it and they're not welcoming to "new ideas."

Question: can the situation (re:lesson plan) I posted above be seen as miscommunication? I would like to assume that a person has good intentions but how can a person go from "I'll do it to 'you said you were going to do it?'"

 >:(It's too hot. The fan keeps blowing my papers and hair everywhere (even when tied up). The sight of bugs is making my skin crawl BUT 1 more hour and then vacation starts! 

The thread on the main page that says "Plans for the future" freaks me out so much I don't even like looking at the title, let alone the thought of reading it.  If that was something on my facebook feed I would've hidden it the second I saw it.

OMG I had the same reaction! I immediately went into a panic response of  "Stop stop I don't know, what's with all the pressure!!!"

That actually makes me feel so much better.

What do you do when a co-teacher accuses you of things that aren't true?

She'll say that I said "XYZ" when I NEVER said them...

Annoying is starting to become an understatement. I understand that I need to adopt to other's idiosyncrasies but this behavior is borderline disrespectful....

It depends what they are saying. If its just water off a ducks back let it slide. It also depends on the individual. If they are well respected it will be worse then if everyone else knows they are cray cray.

If it ever becomes an issue bring in a third party and explain  that ths individual is misunderstanding what you said. That should be sufficiently embarrassing to make them never mention you again.

This person has an advanced level of English so she can't misinterpret my words. She'll do this about things that need to get done. For example:

Me: "xx, I'm doing the lesson plan for Class A. How many units in the reading book do they need to finish this session?"
Her: I'll do it because I need to figure it out.
A week later...
Her (opens up lesson plan and sees that there are no reading pages on lesson plan)
"You said you were going to put the pages in?"
Me: "no, I asked you how many units they needed to finish. You said, 'I'll do it bcuz I need to figure it out."

WTF...

If there is a miscommunication while using English it is always their fault. No one will say it but everyone and their dog knows it. Hence the third party I mentioned causing embarrassment.

A potential solution to your problem. Do all planning and discussions through messenger. That way there is a back up of what they said. I have three CTs and we sit in a square. I could turn around and tap them on the soldier to discuss lesson plans. I always use messenger. I've also never had a problem like you described. (I of course only use it for planning. Not small talk or personal stuff.)

It is considered mildly rude though. But so is defending yourself against others incompetence. Take your pick.

Although I'm a fan of your messenger idea, my school doesn't have it and they're not welcoming to "new ideas."

Question: can the situation (re:lesson plan) I posted above be seen as miscommunication? I would like to assume that a person has good intentions but how can a person go from "I'll do it to 'you said you were going to do it?'"

As a general rule I stick to;

Once is never. Twice is always.

If it happened once meh whatever. Benefit of the doubt. If it happens twice (or more) you should maintain constant vigilance with that individual.

As for the exact words she used. She could have meant she would look into it and you should get back to her later. (Ie. She meant she had no idea not that she would do it.)

Don't sweat it too much though.

What do you do when a co-teacher accuses you of things that aren't true?

She'll say that I said "XYZ" when I NEVER said them...

Annoying is starting to become an understatement. I understand that I need to adopt to other's idiosyncrasies but this behavior is borderline disrespectful....

It depends what they are saying. If its just water off a ducks back let it slide. It also depends on the individual. If they are well respected it will be worse then if everyone else knows they are cray cray.

If it ever becomes an issue bring in a third party and explain  that ths individual is misunderstanding what you said. That should be sufficiently embarrassing to make them never mention you again.

This person has an advanced level of English so she can't misinterpret my words. She'll do this about things that need to get done. For example:

Me: "xx, I'm doing the lesson plan for Class A. How many units in the reading book do they need to finish this session?"
Her: I'll do it because I need to figure it out.
A week later...
Her (opens up lesson plan and sees that there are no reading pages on lesson plan)
"You said you were going to put the pages in?"
Me: "no, I asked you how many units they needed to finish. You said, 'I'll do it bcuz I need to figure it out."

WTF...

If there is a miscommunication while using English it is always their fault. No one will say it but everyone and their dog knows it. Hence the third party I mentioned causing embarrassment.

A potential solution to your problem. Do all planning and discussions through messenger. That way there is a back up of what they said. I have three CTs and we sit in a square. I could turn around and tap them on the soldier to discuss lesson plans. I always use messenger. I've also never had a problem like you described. (I of course only use it for planning. Not small talk or personal stuff.)

It is considered mildly rude though. But so is defending yourself against others incompetence. Take your pick.

Although I'm a fan of your messenger idea, my school doesn't have it and they're not welcoming to "new ideas."

Question: can the situation (re:lesson plan) I posted above be seen as miscommunication? I would like to assume that a person has good intentions but how can a person go from "I'll do it to 'you said you were going to do it?'"

As a general rule I stick to;

Once is never. Twice is always.

If it happened once meh whatever. Benefit of the doubt. If it happens twice (or more) you should maintain constant vigilance with that individual.

As for the exact words she used. She could have meant she would look into it and you should get back to her later. (Ie. She meant she had no idea not that she would do it.)

Don't sweat it too much though.

How can "I'll do it because I need to figure it out" be taken as "I'm not going to do it"?

Better yet, how can "I'll do it" NOT be interpreted as "I'm going to do it"?

I understand where one can think that she didn't know at the time ("I have to figure it out") but since I was talking about putting reading pages on the lesson plan, "do it" clearly refers to that. Therefore, "I'll do it" means "I'll put the pages on the lesson plan." Is that not a logical interpretation of those words?

My bad for ranting but this person doesn't know how to address issues so she'll accuse me of things; she's done it 3 times and it's annoying. She makes an effort to talk to me in an impertinent way but kindly talks to the other FTs.

How can "I'll do it because I need to figure it out" be taken as "I'm not going to do it"?

Better yet, how can "I'll do it" NOT be interpreted as "I'm going to do it"?

I understand where one can think that she didn't know at the time ("I have to figure it out") but since I was talking about putting reading pages on the lesson plan, "do it" clearly refers to that. Therefore, "I'll do it" means "I'll put the pages on the lesson plan." Is that not a logical interpretation of those words?

My bad for ranting but this person doesn't know how to address issues so she'll accuse me of things; she's done it 3 times and it's annoying. She makes an effort to talk to me in an impertinent way but kindly talks to the other FTs.

I feel you. Personally, I tend to ask way more confirming questions than normally necessary. For your example, I would have followed up with "So you will do this?" then again with "I don't have to do this?" with accompanying hand gestures. I'm sure my Co thinks I have trouble understanding things, but I've caught a few things by asking the same thing different ways.

For example, a few months ago my Co told me that there would be exams all day on Friday. I said "Exams for the entire day?" and got a yes. I followed up with "So no classes on Friday?" and then found out that there would be classes after lunch. I don't know if it's a language barrier thing, or Korean teachers are busy and think they told us everything, or if they assume that if something was sent out on messenger (in Korean) that we know it, but it definitely helps to ask multiple clarifying questions.



Rant: During camp last week, I was allowed to go home around 2-3 every day. Now that I'm actually desk warming, I have to stay until 5. I'm going out of my miiiinnnnddddd

My first week of camp went surprisingly well, but now I feel like I'm crawling to the finish line.

I had been at my school less than 2 months before I was told to plan camp entirely by myself. Yep, no worries, I'm sure lots of new teachers have been in the same position. NBD.

So I planned 2 camps (one for grade 3/4, one for grade 5/6) equivalent to 2 hours per class, 2 classes per day, without any assistance or feedback from anyone. Obviously, the fact that no one had helped input or feedback could not posssibly mean that I was home free. And, as I expected, my co-teacher chimed in at the last minute and said that I HAD to include a cooking component each week of my camp, because every other NET has always included cooking, and the kids love it and the principal loves it and the parents love it and the bloody President of Korea loves it so of course I must include cooking.

Given that I am an absolutely pathetic cook, I took the advice of some waygookers and incorporated the mind-numbingly simple "cooking" activity which basically involved buying pre-made cakes and then getting the kids to decorate them with cream, sprinkles, and fruit. The kids feel like they did something, the teacher feels like she organised something, and the kids get jacked up on sugar and maybe forget for 5 minutes that they're attending school during their vacation time.

So I found some cakes and other things at my nearby Homeplus, but my co-teacher told me that any camp related activities to be purchased with the schools budget HAD to be purchased on 11 Street, and HAD to be purchased by some random admin staff before school broke for vacation. I was concerned because we're obviously dealing with perishable food items here, but I was reassured that there would be admin staff here to receive the delivery and they would ensure that all food items would be stored in the fridge until camp started (1 week into summer vacation).

Well, today was the day of "cooking", and boy were the kids excited. My camp coteacher (who is actually just a homeroom teacher because none of my actual coteachers wanted to do camp but also didn't trust me enough to do it by myself) pulled out the cakes and ingredients, only for us to open them up and find that they're mouldy. The kids have walked in and already seen the chocolate and sprinkles in front of them, but can also see that the cakes are off so instantly start to get upset and are yelling and whatever else it is kids do when they're pissed off.

The coteacher just throws her hands in the air and shrugs as if "oh well, guess we're not cooking today". So I try and think of a solution and ask if theres any random budget we could pull, so that I could run down to the nearest bakery and find some more cakes. She says no. I say fine, I'll go to the bakery and buy the cakes myself because everything is already set up and what the eff else are we gonna do for the next 80 minutes with sad kids and a bunch of whipped cream and sprinkles.

So I run in this obscene heat to the closest Tous les Jours, drop 40k on cakes so these kids have something to decorate, and run back into the classroom dripping in sweat but with fresh new cakes to boot. It all goes kind of well, the kids are munching on their cake and finishing the last few minutes of Finding Nemo and I reckon I'm home free. But then... one little BRAT starts acting like he's unwell. He thinks the cakes were mouldy. NO, my coteacher tells him, they WEREN'T mouldy. The original cakes were, but your lovely English Teacher went out and bought new ones. He insists the cakes were mouldy and have upset his precious little stomach. Nek minnit, the mum is here, demanding to see the expiry date on the packaging and trying to work out what could have caused her poor boys tummy ache. I am obviously reprimanded for running a subpar cooking class, and the camp coteacher actually had the audacity to ask me WHY I included cooking in my camp when I'm an English teacher not an effing Chef and that I should remove all cooking from the rest of the camp.

 

TL;DR
EFF CAMP AND EFF MY LIFE

I had been at my school less than 2 months before I was told to plan camp entirely by myself. Yep, no worries, I'm sure lots of new teachers have been in the same position. NBD.


TL;DR
EFF CAMP AND EFF MY LIFE

Dude....... you poor lass. What an absolute mare. Chin up mate vacation now!

So my hagwon, aka the director, had this brilliant idea.

We are going to film the native teachers asking individual students questions about their student-books/random ass books and send it to their parents. So easy right??? What could be bad about this....?

For ****'s sake... let's start with the fact that these kids suck at actually speaking English and can only "do" reading and maybe some writing English. Which somehow the hagwon directer seems genuinely surprised about. Which in turn is actually comical. Like sir remember last week when you said that I had to go through this writing book faster because the parents love it so much...Maybe that is one ****** reason why they cannot speak English!

Also, it doesn't actually help when the Korean teacher and I go over some of the questions with the kids so they are prepared and then the hagwon director just starts flipping through the book asking them questions from sections they haven't even covered yet. Then he gets mad that they cannot answer them!   

The kids hate these interviews anyway. They are always so nervous and shy. The Korean teachers are literally like acting coaches during these interviews. Saying things like, smile more. Don't look at the camera look at your teacher. Stop mumbling. Then the hagwon director flips them shit for not being able to pronounce ****** "except" because omg they pronounce it more like exzept. It makes me sick. It is so ****** fake.
They also give me acting tips too. "Oh teacher could you ask them how they are doing and wave goodbye. If they cannot remember what to say give them prompts so there is no long silences. Flip open the book when you ask them questions, the page doesn't have to match the question. Just try to make it look as natural as possible".....

We literally take between 1-3 class periods to film this shit and now probably 1-2 classes periods before just for the useless preparations for them. All so that the parents think their precious kids can actually speak English....

FML fake fake fake

 

Friday my camp finished.

So the first day the coteacher had none of the materials that I had requested for the last month, Even though she said she had already brought them. I asked to see them, and of course she didn't let me look at them, and rather asked if I was accusing her of lying.

Never mind, I already had materials for a cheaper alternative activity on the fact that my bullshit detector is so highly tuned these days.

But of course rather than the "we each take one of the 5 classes for the whole day", On the Monday morning she changed it so we rotate though 3 classes a day. Lucky I brought all my activity materials rather than just brought enough for one day.

Then after the first day she goes off her nut about how the activity that I said I was going to do, I didn't do it, and I didn't follow the plan! I asked her where the materials for the activity where that she purchased last month, that I asked to take last week to prepare. She said that wasn't the issue. The issue was why I didn't follow the plan. Then the next day all the materials show up in my classroom, as if Santa left them over night. Most awesome thing. One of the receipts was in one of the bag, Purchased Monday night.

How do these people who can't tell the truth or think and plan more than 7 seconds in to the future to save them self get to a position where they are responsible for children? If you where a parent would you leave your child in the care of a person who is this dishonest? It's really starting to scare me. This is not my only coteacher, and almost all of them seem to have some sort of allergic reaction to truth. Like they lie even when there is absolutely no reason at all to lie.

Friday my camp finished.

So the first day the coteacher had none of the materials that I had requested for the last month, Even though she said she had already brought them. I asked to see them, and of course she didn't let me look at them, and rather asked if I was accusing her of lying.

Never mind, I already had materials for a cheaper alternative activity on the fact that my bullshit detector is so highly tuned these days.

But of course rather than the "we each take one of the 5 classes for the whole day", On the Monday morning she changed it so we rotate though 3 classes a day. Lucky I brought all my activity materials rather than just brought enough for one day.

Then after the first day she goes off her nut about how the activity that I said I was going to do, I didn't do it, and I didn't follow the plan! I asked her where the materials for the activity where that she purchased last month, that I asked to take last week to prepare. She said that wasn't the issue. The issue was why I didn't follow the plan. Then the next day all the materials show up in my classroom, as if Santa left them over night. Most awesome thing. One of the receipts was in one of the bag, Purchased Monday night.

How do these people who can't tell the truth or think and plan more than 7 seconds in to the future to save them self get to a position where they are responsible for children? If you where a parent would you leave your child in the care of a person who is this dishonest? It's really starting to scare me. This is not my only coteacher, and almost all of them seem to have some sort of allergic reaction to truth. Like they lie even when there is absolutely no reason at all to lie.

Show her the receipt and ask her if she was lying.

I had been at my school less than 2 months before I was told to plan camp entirely by myself. Yep, no worries, I'm sure lots of new teachers have been in the same position. NBD.

So ...
TL;DR
EFF CAMP AND EFF MY LIFE

The next time someone asks me about working in Korea, asking for help or recommendations, I'm just going to paste them your post. This post is just so Korea. Camp is the absolute WORST. Hope you have a great vacation planned so you can forget the whole thing, at least for a little bit