RANTING/VENTING MEGATHREAD 3.0

People are shite. Grown ass adults are shite. Foreigners pestering me "where are you from?" after I've already spoken enough to show an American midwestern accent and said I'M FROM THE USA. "Oh, but you look [insert Asian ethnicity here]." "Oh but where are you really from?" Cause apparently the default American is just a white person.

Things like this make me more than content to remain on my island. Honestly, the last two weekends I have dealt with this rubbish. 

I often get asked, "Are you [European ethnicity]?"  and have no hurt feelings whatsoever.

This. People looking for fights take normal social interactions and turn them into some race relations microcosm. Instead of you know, just answering the question in the same way everyone else does.

There was this white guy on my football team back in high school. Going around we asked it and everyone answered normally. He responded Canadian and refused to state his ancestry because he identified as Canadian.

He was as much of a jackass as anyone of any other race that does the same thing.

Just normal social interaction for North Americans. Not answering this question is akin to telling someone how horrible your day is when they ask how you're doing. No one actually cares.

Tried showing a movie to my third graders, as that seems to be the trend around school and I knew I had no chance at trying to learn 'em anything if they're watching fail videos in all their other classes.

So of course I get the "no you must teach" spiel. Okay, fair enough. I whip up a set of riddles. They dig those. Then I'm told, "Oh I think these are too hard for them."

 

Of course.

I have zero problem (actually I like it) when a competent and motivated co-teacher makes suggestions, or even flat-out vetoes something I want to do, as long as they're a good teacher themselves and it's actually a good idea.

But when someone assumes they know the students' abilities more than any foreigner ever possibly good and is super nitpicky even with a competent NSET, that's just terrible.

Yeah, same. In my experience it's the near-fluent co-ts who help me out and give suggestions). The ones who pull the "Oh this is too hard but I have no real input of my own" are basically saying, "Well this confounds me and makes me feel insecure about my own abilities as I am not capable of understanding this shit." Ugh.

No, going to the gym is literally the best stop-smoking help you can get, that doesn't involve nicotine.

When I have a good workout, I usually don't get cravings for at least an hour or two after I finish. If you combined that with active effort and desire to quit, you'd be in a really good position to be successful.

Plus, giving yourself 'lots of treats' when you're trying to quit smoking means you're going to be snacking non-stop for most people, which will lead to weight gain, which will lead to (possibly) being angry at yourself and that's going to sour your positive outlook right quick.

Well, different things probably work for different people. I hate going to the gym, so telling me to do something I hate to replace something I like, wouldn't be very persuasive. When I used to smoke and play sports the first ciggie after a game of football was like having one after a good meal. Sometimes I couldn't wait and had one at half time, in the same way I would sometimes smoke between courses.   

Tried showing a movie to my third graders, as that seems to be the trend around school and I knew I had no chance at trying to learn 'em anything if they're watching fail videos in all their other classes.

So of course I get the "no you must teach" spiel. Okay, fair enough. I whip up a set of riddles. They dig those. Then I'm told, "Oh I think these are too hard for them."

 

Of course.

I have zero problem (actually I like it) when a competent and motivated co-teacher makes suggestions, or even flat-out vetoes something I want to do, as long as they're a good teacher themselves and it's actually a good idea.

But when someone assumes they know the students' abilities more than any foreigner ever possibly good and is super nitpicky even with a competent NSET, that's just terrible.

I've never had a problem with a CT vetoing my ideas. In 99% of cases what they are thinking is better.

What drives me up the wall is when they veto something and have no alternate suggestions of any kind.

CT: I don't like this.
Me: Cool, what do you have in mind?
CT: (silence).

Even a basic, 'the kids need more practice with X' is helpful.

"Where are you from?"
"America."
"Oh cool. What's your ethnicity, if you don't mind my asking?"
"Oh my parents are from [blah blah blah]."
"Cool. I'm from [blah blah blah]."
*pleasant conversation ensues*

For a lot of people words like 'ethnicity' are not really part of their everyday vocabulary and besides which it's only a matter of time before asking someone's ethnicity will be considered a microagression and you'll be back to square one. Perosnally I can't see how anyone would be offended by someone saying 'you look a bit Asian, is that where your parents came from? but I guess I'm a dinosaur these days.

"Where are you from?"
"America."
"Oh cool. What's your ethnicity, if you don't mind my asking?"
"Oh my parents are from [blah blah blah]."
"Cool. I'm from [blah blah blah]."
*pleasant conversation ensues*

For a lot of people words like 'ethnicity' are not really part of their everyday vocabulary and besides which it's only a matter of time before asking someone's ethnicity will be considered a microagression and you'll be back to square one. Perosnally I can't see how anyone would be offended by someone saying 'you look a bit Asian, is that where your parents came from? but I guess I'm a dinosaur these days.

Maybe you can't see why anyone would be offended because you're white 

"Where are you from?"
"America."
"Oh cool. What's your ethnicity, if you don't mind my asking?"
"Oh my parents are from [blah blah blah]."
"Cool. I'm from [blah blah blah]."
*pleasant conversation ensues*

For a lot of people words like 'ethnicity' are not really part of their everyday vocabulary and besides which it's only a matter of time before asking someone's ethnicity will be considered a microagression and you'll be back to square one. Perosnally I can't see how anyone would be offended by someone saying 'you look a bit Asian, is that where your parents came from? but I guess I'm a dinosaur these days.

The problem isn't that people are curious about someone's ethnicity; the problem is when they refuse to accept the answer that they're given. If I tell someone that I'm American, and they go on to ask me where I'm really from (implying that I'm not actually American), that's when there's a problem.

People are shite. Grown ass adults are shite. Foreigners pestering me "where are you from?" after I've already spoken enough to show an American midwestern accent and said I'M FROM THE USA. "Oh, but you look [insert Asian ethnicity here]." "Oh but where are you really from?" Cause apparently the default American is just a white person.

Things like this make me more than content to remain on my island. Honestly, the last two weekends I have dealt with this rubbish. 

I often get asked, "Are you [European ethnicity]?"  and have no hurt feelings whatsoever.

This. People looking for fights take normal social interactions and turn them into some race relations microcosm. Instead of you know, just answering the question in the same way everyone else does.

There was this white guy on my football team back in high school. Going around we asked it and everyone answered normally. He responded Canadian and refused to state his ancestry because he identified as Canadian.

He was as much of a jackass as anyone of any other race that does the same thing.

Just normal social interaction for North Americans. Not answering this question is akin to telling someone how horrible your day is when they ask how you're doing. No one actually cares.

When I say I'm from America, I am answering "in the same way as everyone else does." When people press further, asking "where were you born?" I answer honestly and tell the city/state where I was born and raised. When someone presses further with "No, where are your parents from?" then it clicks that they're really asking "What's your ethnicity?"

If they "don't care" then why don't they just drop it? Or make their initial question clearer? "What's your ancestry/ethnicity/background?" or "What are your roots?"

There most certainly are people who are just genuinely interested in ancestry. I have no problem with that. But there are other people who seem to want to imply that I'm "not really American" even though we're supposed to be a "melting pot." Or better yet, the people who want to have "won" at guessing my ethnicity. 

People are shite. Grown ass adults are shite. Foreigners pestering me "where are you from?" after I've already spoken enough to show an American midwestern accent and said I'M FROM THE USA. "Oh, but you look [insert Asian ethnicity here]." "Oh but where are you really from?" Cause apparently the default American is just a white person.

Things like this make me more than content to remain on my island. Honestly, the last two weekends I have dealt with this rubbish. 

I often get asked, "Are you [European ethnicity]?"  and have no hurt feelings whatsoever.

This. People looking for fights take normal social interactions and turn them into some race relations microcosm. Instead of you know, just answering the question in the same way everyone else does.

There was this white guy on my football team back in high school. Going around we asked it and everyone answered normally. He responded Canadian and refused to state his ancestry because he identified as Canadian.

He was as much of a jackass as anyone of any other race that does the same thing.

Just normal social interaction for North Americans. Not answering this question is akin to telling someone how horrible your day is when they ask how you're doing. No one actually cares.

When I say I'm from America, I am answering "in the same way as everyone else does." When people press further, asking "where were you born?" I answer honestly and tell the city/state where I was born and raised. When someone presses further with "No, where are your parents from?" then it clicks that they're really asking "What's your ethnicity?"

If they "don't care" then why don't they just drop it? Or make their initial question clearer? "What's your ancestry/ethnicity/background?" or "What are your roots?"

There most certainly are people who are just genuinely interested in ancestry. I have no problem with that. But there are other people who seem to want to imply that I'm "not really American" even though we're supposed to be a "melting pot." Or better yet, the people who want to have "won" at guessing my ethnicity. 

I actually had this conversation a couple of years ago:

"Your English is really good. Where are you from?"
"America, born and raised."
"Oh! Where did you learn English?"
"America.."
"Wow! If I only heard you talk, I would've thought you were American!"
"...(fuckyou)..."

Maybe you can't see why anyone would be offended because you're white 

I don't know whther you're joking or not but of course a white person could get asked the same question in a non white country. When I lived in Turkey, people were always speaking German to me.

The problem isn't that people are curious about someone's ethnicity; the problem is when they refuse to accept the answer that they're given. If I tell someone that I'm American, and they go on to ask me where I'm really from (implying that I'm not actually American), that's when there's a problem

They wanted to know your ethnicity in the first place, they probably didn't know what the current politically correct way of asking that question was.

People are shite. Grown ass adults are shite. Foreigners pestering me "where are you from?" after I've already spoken enough to show an American midwestern accent and said I'M FROM THE USA. "Oh, but you look [insert Asian ethnicity here]." "Oh but where are you really from?" Cause apparently the default American is just a white person.

Things like this make me more than content to remain on my island. Honestly, the last two weekends I have dealt with this rubbish. 

I often get asked, "Are you [European ethnicity]?"  and have no hurt feelings whatsoever.

This. People looking for fights take normal social interactions and turn them into some race relations microcosm. Instead of you know, just answering the question in the same way everyone else does.

There was this white guy on my football team back in high school. Going around we asked it and everyone answered normally. He responded Canadian and refused to state his ancestry because he identified as Canadian.

He was as much of a jackass as anyone of any other race that does the same thing.

Just normal social interaction for North Americans. Not answering this question is akin to telling someone how horrible your day is when they ask how you're doing. No one actually cares.

When I say I'm from America, I am answering "in the same way as everyone else does." When people press further, asking "where were you born?" I answer honestly and tell the city/state where I was born and raised. When someone presses further with "No, where are your parents from?" then it clicks that they're really asking "What's your ethnicity?"

If they "don't care" then why don't they just drop it? Or make their initial question clearer? "What's your ancestry/ethnicity/background?" or "What are your roots?"

There most certainly are people who are just genuinely interested in ancestry. I have no problem with that. But there are other people who seem to want to imply that I'm "not really American" even though we're supposed to be a "melting pot." Or better yet, the people who want to have "won" at guessing my ethnicity. 

you talking this kinda thing yirj?

^YUP.

People are shite. Grown ass adults are shite. Foreigners pestering me "where are you from?" after I've already spoken enough to show an American midwestern accent and said I'M FROM THE USA. "Oh, but you look [insert Asian ethnicity here]." "Oh but where are you really from?" Cause apparently the default American is just a white person.

Things like this make me more than content to remain on my island. Honestly, the last two weekends I have dealt with this rubbish. 

I often get asked, "Are you [European ethnicity]?"  and have no hurt feelings whatsoever.

This. People looking for fights take normal social interactions and turn them into some race relations microcosm. Instead of you know, just answering the question in the same way everyone else does.

There was this white guy on my football team back in high school. Going around we asked it and everyone answered normally. He responded Canadian and refused to state his ancestry because he identified as Canadian.

He was as much of a jackass as anyone of any other race that does the same thing.

Just normal social interaction for North Americans. Not answering this question is akin to telling someone how horrible your day is when they ask how you're doing. No one actually cares.

When I say I'm from America, I am answering "in the same way as everyone else does." When people press further, asking "where were you born?" I answer honestly and tell the city/state where I was born and raised. When someone presses further with "No, where are your parents from?" then it clicks that they're really asking "What's your ethnicity?"

If they "don't care" then why don't they just drop it? Or make their initial question clearer? "What's your ancestry/ethnicity/background?" or "What are your roots?"

There most certainly are people who are just genuinely interested in ancestry. I have no problem with that. But there are other people who seem to want to imply that I'm "not really American" even though we're supposed to be a "melting pot." Or better yet, the people who want to have "won" at guessing my ethnicity. 

I think you are mistaken. I'm a white guy from a town where most of the people are white. We ask each other where we are from all the time. People answered based on their ancestry. Obviously since most of us were of European decent we answered with those. Ofc, we had our Indian tailback who was a beast and answered with that. Same for my best bud who was born in Iraq.

Saying you're from America is the equivalent of the guy I mentioned above saying he was Canadian.

My thought process: No shit Sherlock. Now, where are you from?

Being angry at the way the question is phrased is like being pissed about someone saying 'What's up?' That's just the way it's asked.

As to you're point on not caring. I ask people how they're doing all the time. This is a secret but I genuinely don't care. The same is true of the above question. It's just normal social banter among peers. Getting angry at it is like getting angry when someone greets you.

Also, wrt to the video. It was shot to draw attention to the 'issue.' But, when I see it I can't help but think of it as a caricature on someone with zero social skill refusing to answer a normal question.

I think you are mistaken. I'm a white guy from a town where most of the people are white. We ask each other where we are from all the time. People answered based on their ancestry. Obviously since most of us were of European decent we answered with those. Ofc, we had our Indian tailback who was a beast and answered with that. Same for my best bud who was born in Iraq.

Saying you're from America is the equivalent of the guy I mentioned above saying he was Canadian.

My thought process: No shit Sherlock. Now, where are you from?

Being angry at the way the question is phrased is like being pissed about someone saying 'What's up?' That's just the way it's asked.

As to you're point on not caring. I ask people how they're doing all the time. This is a secret but I genuinely don't care. The same is true of the above question. It's just normal social banter among peers. Getting angry at it is like getting angry when someone greets you.

Also, wrt to the video. It was shot to draw attention to the 'issue.' But, when I see it I can't help but think of it as a caricature on someone with zero social skill refusing to answer a normal question.

It's great that the woman in the video considers herself to be entirely American, just as long as she doesn't then get butt hurt when someone makes some offhanded comment against Korea in front of her. She can't have it both ways.

The problem isn't that people are curious about someone's ethnicity; the problem is when they refuse to accept the answer that they're given. If I tell someone that I'm American, and they go on to ask me where I'm really from (implying that I'm not actually American), that's when there's a problem.

Agreed.

People are shite. Grown ass adults are shite. Foreigners pestering me "where are you from?" after I've already spoken enough to show an American midwestern accent and said I'M FROM THE USA. "Oh, but you look [insert Asian ethnicity here]." "Oh but where are you really from?" Cause apparently the default American is just a white person.

Things like this make me more than content to remain on my island. Honestly, the last two weekends I have dealt with this rubbish. 

I often get asked, "Are you [European ethnicity]?"  and have no hurt feelings whatsoever.

This. People looking for fights take normal social interactions and turn them into some race relations microcosm. Instead of you know, just answering the question in the same way everyone else does.

There was this white guy on my football team back in high school. Going around we asked it and everyone answered normally. He responded Canadian and refused to state his ancestry because he identified as Canadian.

He was as much of a jackass as anyone of any other race that does the same thing.

Just normal social interaction for North Americans. Not answering this question is akin to telling someone how horrible your day is when they ask how you're doing. No one actually cares.

When I say I'm from America, I am answering "in the same way as everyone else does." When people press further, asking "where were you born?" I answer honestly and tell the city/state where I was born and raised. When someone presses further with "No, where are your parents from?" then it clicks that they're really asking "What's your ethnicity?"

If they "don't care" then why don't they just drop it? Or make their initial question clearer? "What's your ancestry/ethnicity/background?" or "What are your roots?"

There most certainly are people who are just genuinely interested in ancestry. I have no problem with that. But there are other people who seem to want to imply that I'm "not really American" even though we're supposed to be a "melting pot." Or better yet, the people who want to have "won" at guessing my ethnicity. 

I think you are mistaken. I'm a white guy from a town where most of the people are white. We ask each other where we are from all the time. People answered based on their ancestry. Obviously since most of us were of European decent we answered with those. Ofc, we had our Indian tailback who was a beast and answered with that. Same for my best bud who was born in Iraq.

Saying you're from America is the equivalent of the guy I mentioned above saying he was Canadian.

My thought process: No shit Sherlock. Now, where are you from?

Being angry at the way the question is phrased is like being pissed about someone saying 'What's up?' That's just the way it's asked.

As to you're point on not caring. I ask people how they're doing all the time. This is a secret but I genuinely don't care. The same is true of the above question. It's just normal social banter among peers. Getting angry at it is like getting angry when someone greets you.

Also, wrt to the video. It was shot to draw attention to the 'issue.' But, when I see it I can't help but think of it as a caricature on someone with zero social skill refusing to answer a normal question.

I think we're both mistaken. Our towns and upbringing are different.

Where I grew up, everyone "white" got a pass and just called themselves American and nobody questioned it but when it came to me, it was nah, where you really from? I feel like in Canada/where you're from, people actually realize that everyone's lineage hails from somewhere, whereas in my upbringing people just liked pointing out that I was different. Whenever I returned the question, I just got, "Oh, I'm American." Even though most of them most likely had some European ancestry.

The only phrasing I really take issue with is "What are you?" and generally only because it's typically accompanied with a tone of voice that doesn't imply a friendly question.

Connotation is everything.

And if you look in this topic, you will see a lot of white males who like to argue.

 

I feel like there's a bit of "it didn't happen to me so it must not be true/you must be mistaken."

But that video really hits home for me and my experiences and does with a lot of my American friends who have Asian ancestry. The male character depicted in that video sadly does exist, to an extent.

And if you look in this topic, you will see a lot of white males who like to argue.

No we don't

People are shite. Grown ass adults are shite. Foreigners pestering me "where are you from?" after I've already spoken enough to show an American midwestern accent and said I'M FROM THE USA. "Oh, but you look [insert Asian ethnicity here]." "Oh but where are you really from?" Cause apparently the default American is just a white person.

Things like this make me more than content to remain on my island. Honestly, the last two weekends I have dealt with this rubbish. 

I often get asked, "Are you [European ethnicity]?"  and have no hurt feelings whatsoever.

This. People looking for fights take normal social interactions and turn them into some race relations microcosm. Instead of you know, just answering the question in the same way everyone else does.

There was this white guy on my football team back in high school. Going around we asked it and everyone answered normally. He responded Canadian and refused to state his ancestry because he identified as Canadian.

He was as much of a jackass as anyone of any other race that does the same thing.

Just normal social interaction for North Americans. Not answering this question is akin to telling someone how horrible your day is when they ask how you're doing. No one actually cares.

When I say I'm from America, I am answering "in the same way as everyone else does." When people press further, asking "where were you born?" I answer honestly and tell the city/state where I was born and raised. When someone presses further with "No, where are your parents from?" then it clicks that they're really asking "What's your ethnicity?"

If they "don't care" then why don't they just drop it? Or make their initial question clearer? "What's your ancestry/ethnicity/background?" or "What are your roots?"

There most certainly are people who are just genuinely interested in ancestry. I have no problem with that. But there are other people who seem to want to imply that I'm "not really American" even though we're supposed to be a "melting pot." Or better yet, the people who want to have "won" at guessing my ethnicity. 

I think you are mistaken. I'm a white guy from a town where most of the people are white. We ask each other where we are from all the time. People answered based on their ancestry. Obviously since most of us were of European decent we answered with those. Ofc, we had our Indian tailback who was a beast and answered with that. Same for my best bud who was born in Iraq.

Saying you're from America is the equivalent of the guy I mentioned above saying he was Canadian.

My thought process: No shit Sherlock. Now, where are you from?

Being angry at the way the question is phrased is like being pissed about someone saying 'What's up?' That's just the way it's asked.

As to you're point on not caring. I ask people how they're doing all the time. This is a secret but I genuinely don't care. The same is true of the above question. It's just normal social banter among peers. Getting angry at it is like getting angry when someone greets you.

Also, wrt to the video. It was shot to draw attention to the 'issue.' But, when I see it I can't help but think of it as a caricature on someone with zero social skill refusing to answer a normal question.

Back home, if I ask another person where they're from (white, black, asian, hispanic, doesn't matter), they almost never say a country that's not "America" unless they actually came from that other country. If I get asked this question while in Korea, I answer "America." If I get asked back home, I answer with my state of residence, just like most other people. I've yet to meet an American- or Canadian-born person answer "Germany" or "France" etc. to the question "Where are you from?" I guess our experiences just differ.

I feel like I'm reading a Buzzfeed video script