RANTING/VENTING MEGATHREAD 3.0

If you think it's stupid, that's fine, but to believe any kind of body modification is caused by mental instability? It's just a matter of preference.

Like I said, I'm not 100% against tattoos or piercings. I get tattoos for serious life events. I get the small little nose dot piercing. Heck, I understand getting a strange piercing if its for sexual pleasure or if you're seriously out of the loop in society and tattoos or piercings are your thing. We know the difference between someone who gets a tattoo to remember their dead brother on their chest or maybe a belly button pierced and calls it a day vs. the people who go all out to the point they have to start covering it up/taking it out simply to get employed.

I'm just trying to get the mindset and decision making process that went through something like getting your septum pierced or getting a massive sleeve and then being upset/concerned about that affecting your job and functioning in general society and the real world. That and wondering why someone reaches such a conclusion in the first place that that is something they want to do. Most of the answers have some sort of element of futile rebellion/non-conformity or shock value or for attention or what essentially amounts to using it as a mask for lack of fun or whatever in one's life. I suspect if you really dug deep, many people who did it have some psychological stuff going on behind that decision, potentially serious.

I guess I understand if you did it while you were young and stupid. That's what young people do- stupid stuff. But if you're pushing into your 30s, it's a bit like getting flashy rims on your car so people will look at you. I mean, if you're hardcore into fixing up cars, yeah that makes sense. If you're doing it as some sort of passive-aggressive "look at me" while blasting your bass? Grow up.

It's just you come across as someone who is dreadfully out of touch and the things you choose to complain about are that of someone in their golden retirement years.

Like I said previously, over 50% of people born post 1980 have a tattoo. So if it does really annoy you I guess you are going to have to get used to it. They really arent a big deal nowadays. I know that you baby boomers get riled up about the younger generations, but let them have this. It's like when you guys were wearing flares in the 60s, I bet your parents found you guys to be annoying idiots too.

Also, I got my first tattoo when I was 18 and I have expereinced exactly zero negative consequences from it. I usually forget it's even there, but if I do look at it I usually have happy memories of when I was a teenager.

It's not being out of touch. Not understanding smartphones is out of touch. I think it's legitimate to ask why someone would permanently disfiguring themself in a way that will not improve with age. Just because a lot of young people are doing it, doesn't mean it is a good idea. It's nice that these young people have all their tattoos and piercings. What about when you're pushing 60?   What about when you have to worry about it affecting your employment and the perceptions of coworkers, clients, and so on? Isn't it legitimate to question the judgment of someone who makes such a potentially impulsive, emotional, and poorly thought-out decision? This is especially true with people who seem to be addicted to them.

Also, I'm not a boomer. I was born in the early 80s.

sigh my post got lost in the ether

it was just about how demartino has no idea what having a complicated relationship with your body means lol

Odds are- 1st world problems. Unless you're disabled in a wheel chair or have cystic fibrosis, whatever complicated relationship you have is either under your power to change and/or made up in your head.

Anxiety disorder, depression, PTSD (think of the countless kinds of bodily trauma), OCD, love addiction, sex addiction, all addiction. A million serious things can complicate how we feel about our bodies. And doing something that's harmful to no one at all to help feel at peace or in control is not something that needs justification.

The "made up in your head" "under your power to change" shit really gets to me.

Is a trans person getting a tattoo to assert control in a world that shames them and their body just some stupid decision they need to justify to you?

Ugh.

Haha man do I hate people who will rag on others for having low self-esteem. It's like the kids who make fun of their classmates for having a single parent. Yes, let's judge and put down people who are already having a hard time. Makes sense. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

The problem with a portion of people with low esteem is that they act out to draw others attention to their problems.

Most of the kids of single parents at my school are annoying little monsters who are desperate for attention. They just can't accept that no one cares about them.

It's not surprising people insult them. Attention whoring is rude.

Or IOW,

No one cares about your special situation.

Haha wow speaking of monsters....

Anxiety disorder, depression, PTSD (think of the countless kinds of bodily trauma), OCD, love addiction, sex addiction, all addiction. A million serious things can complicate how we feel about our bodies. And doing something that's harmful to no one at all to help feel at peace or in control is not something that needs justification.

Getting a tattoo or piercing to deal with those makes about as much sense as consuming a quart of rye every day or cutting yourself. It's like treating depression by wearing an ice cream cone on your head or treating malaria by getting a tattoo. Heck, at least a gin and tonic would have underlying medical benefits that are scientifically proven.

Again, suspect judgment. If you think you are treating your underlying mental/medical condition by getting a tattoo, you are in fact "making stuff up in your head". Some of those might be actually due to some sort of physiological problem or chemical imbalance. This is why we send people who are mentally ill to doctors and therapists (who in turn may refer people to exercise programs or hobbies), not tattoo artists.

"I have an addiction to heroin/an anxiety disorder."
"Get a tattoo".

Yeah, that makes sense. Great medical/mental health advice there.

Wow Martino what ever happened to live and let live.

Wow Martino what ever happened to live and let live.

Have you ever heard the story of the lawyer and the hairdryer?

It goes like this:

There is a woman, she's a very driven, high-achieving lawyer. She also has OCD. One of her compulsions/anxieties is regarding her hair dryer. She is always afraid that she's left her hairdryer on and it's going to catch the house on fire. So every morning, she has to drive back home multiple times to ensure that the hairdryer has been turned off, and at one point, it gets so bad that she's consistently late to work and her job is in danger. She's had all kinds of therapy and tried medications but they haven't helped.

One clinician, one day, suggests she just brings the hairdryer with her in the car so then when she feels the obsessive compulsion to check if she left it on, she can just look beside her, see the hairdryer, and be able to continue on to work. It works.

Many say this was the wrong thing to do. It doesn't actually treat her OCD. But, it made her life better and easier.

If a tattoo will help someone, even if it doesn't cure or treat them, there's no reason to judge it as wrong.

Haha man do I hate people who will rag on others for having low self-esteem. It's like the kids who make fun of their classmates for having a single parent. Yes, let's judge and put down people who are already having a hard time. Makes sense. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

The problem with a portion of people with low esteem is that they act out to draw others attention to their problems.

Most of the kids of single parents at my school are annoying little monsters who are desperate for attention. They just can't accept that no one cares about them.

It's not surprising people insult them. Attention whoring is rude.

Or IOW,

No one cares about your special situation.

  Well then.

While I'm not a fan of attention needy people, I view children with a more sympathetic lens. Someone should care about the kids to lessen the likelihood of them growing up into adulthood with low self esteem.

They're just kids. Of course they want to be cared about. Not every person, much less a child, is automatically stoic.

Of course I am not excusing bad behavior; in fact, some discipline and structure is often what many of those kids are in need of (rather than the coddling some teachers are unfortunately wont to do).

Wow Martino what ever happened to live and let live.

This is the ranting/venting thread.

Go ahead and do what you will, just spare me the whine fest about how it affects their job and why people are stereotyping them as having questionable judgment. Also, all the other feel good crap about it is often nonsense too. And yes, people will think what they will, just as if you wore a tinfoil hat.

If a tattoo will help someone, even if it doesn't cure or treat them, there's no reason to judge it as wrong.

Sure there is a small chance that it might help them. There is a much greater chance that it kicks the can down the road and/or exacerbates the problem. It also still means that they are making stuff up in their mind.

Again, spend 2 hours asking yourself why you want/need to get a serious tattoo or piercing instead of spending the 2 hours getting one. Will probably do more for your life and well-being than getting one will.

But hey, WTH do I know? Treat clinical depression or PTSD with tattoos and piercings. Those doctors with analysis of what's going on in our glands are all idiots. The tattoo artists have all the answers. How about some kimchi to treat that HIV or OCD?

Haha man do I hate people who will rag on others for having low self-esteem. It's like the kids who make fun of their classmates for having a single parent. Yes, let's judge and put down people who are already having a hard time. Makes sense. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

The problem with a portion of people with low esteem is that they act out to draw others attention to their problems.

Most of the kids of single parents at my school are annoying little monsters who are desperate for attention. They just can't accept that no one cares about them.

It's not surprising people insult them. Attention whoring is rude.

Or IOW,

No one cares about your special situation.

  Well then.

While I'm not a fan of attention needy people, I view children with a more sympathetic lens. Someone should care about the kids to lessen the likelihood of them growing up into adulthood with low self esteem.

They're just kids. Of course they want to be cared about. Not every person, much less a child, is automatically stoic.

Of course I am not excusing bad behavior; in fact, some discipline and structure is often what many of those kids are in need of (rather than the coddling some teachers are unfortunately wont to do).

I don't. For every monster child there are at minimum five to six (single parent kids that is) more who are totally normal kids. (I teach in a very poor area.)

I'm not at all surprised by the fact that the kids insult and belittle the annoying little tards.
Hell, I think they deserve it but do my best to stop it because I'm the teacher.

(My favorite CT ever was the one, who after one of them started crying just told him to leave. She did not care. It was awesome. He never did it in her class again.)

This is actually steering away from what I was vaguely trying to get at originally, which is that;

People who gets tats and piercings (in highly visible places) are typically attention whoring. Attention whoring is rude. People are rude or more often ignore those who are rude.

It's no different than the girl screaming about her unbelievably common latte in a coffee shop (my laptop can only go sooo loud.) Or the vegan who let's everyone know their vegan (never personally encountered this one, just a trope). Or the Christian who let's everyone know about how much she loves Jesus. Or the gay guy who needs to let everyone know he's gay.

That is to say, these things (including tats) by themselves are not wrong. But making them publically noticeable is well... rude. Especially when demanding people not judge or treat you differently while acting out in a public way.

Edit: After reading my original post I see I said 'most' of the single parent kids. That was hyperbole. Go with the second post for closer to real numbers.

Had an argument with my CT today. Technically, I was at fault, but I was a bit fed up with her complete hypocrisy.

Last Monday, my Monday school had a field trip. My CT, who's quite ambiguous and vague when explaining things, didn't make it clear whether I was to come along or stay at school. I arrived and announced that I wasn't really keen on going, she didn't make a big deal out of it and wished me a pleasant day before heading off. She said everyone would be returning between 16:30 and 17:00.

At about 10AM, I realised that aside from a few admin staff and the cleaning ladies, I was the only soul in school. I decided I wasn't going to sit in an empty school till 16:30 and drive 45min away to pick my wife up after 5pm, heck my CT ducks out early every now and then and tells me to "keep secret". I left, discreetly.

Today my CT tells me that she's upset that I didn't come along and she's also upset that I left before 16:30. Who the f**k decided to snitch, I'll never know.

(Not exactly verbatim. I used much simpler English in the actual conversation, but for the sake of brevity, I won't write exactly what was said). My wife works at a school, very far from the one I was
at that day.

CT - Why didn't you come on the field trip and why did you leave before 16:30?

Me - You didn't say anything at the time and I'm sorry, but I'm not going to let my wife wait near
        an empty bus stop till after 5pm. She's been harassed by creepy old men before. (Usually, she
       takes the car and picks me up after 5, but I took it today since I was sure I could leave early).

CT - You need to follow the rules, you must leave at 16:30.

Me - Last week, you left early and the month before, you left after lunch to pick up your husband at
       the airport. You asked me not to tell the VP.

CT - That's not the same. You must follow the rules.

(I'm getting irritated)
Me - Well, rules can be stupid.

CT - You should've come on the field trip to the museum, you need to learn about Korean culture.

Me - I learn more about Korean culture by observing day-to-day life and having conversations like
       this than by going to museums, with fake artifacts, where I'm told how great Korea is.

CT - But you broke the rules by leaving early, we must follow the rules.

Me - If you were on a sinking ship and the captain, who just left, told you to stay where you are
       would you stay because it's the rules?

CT - ....

Me - So you see, rules can be stupid. I didn't go on the trip because I had a choice, I'm never
       invited on my other school field trips, they usually let me stay at home. I left early because my
       wife's safety is more important than following a ridiculous and pointless rule.

CT - Korean teachers don't like the rule either, but what if something happened to you?

Me - Then like an adult, I'll accept the responsibility of my actions, I'm not a child. What if 
       something happened to my wife? What if something happened to you when you sneaked out?
       Do the rules only apply to me?

CT - I hope you follow the rules next time.

Like speaking French to a goldfish.

Had an argument with my CT today. Technically, I was at fault, but I was a bit fed up with her complete hypocrisy.

Last Monday, my Monday school had a field trip. My CT, who's quite ambiguous and vague when explaining things, didn't make it clear whether I was to come along or stay at school. I arrived and announced that I wasn't really keen on going, she didn't make a big deal out of it and wished me a pleasant day before heading off. She said everyone would be returning between 16:30 and 17:00.

At about 10AM, I realised that aside from a few admin staff and the cleaning ladies, I was the only soul in school. I decided I wasn't going to sit in an empty school till 16:30 and drive 45min away to pick my wife up after 5pm, heck my CT ducks out early every now and then and tells me to "keep secret". I left, discreetly.

Today my CT tells me that she's upset that I didn't come along and she's also upset that I left before 16:30. Who the f**k decided to snitch, I'll never know.

(Not exactly verbatim. I used much simpler English in the actual conversation, but for the sake of brevity, I won't write exactly what was said). My wife works at a school, very far from the one I was
at that day.

CT - Why didn't you come on the field trip and why did you leave before 16:30?

Me - You didn't say anything at the time and I'm sorry, but I'm not going to let my wife wait near
        an empty bus stop till after 5pm. She's been harassed by creepy old men before. (Usually, she
       takes the car and picks me up after 5, but I took it today since I was sure I could leave early).

CT - You need to follow the rules, you must leave at 16:30.

Me - Last week, you left early and the month before, you left after lunch to pick up your husband at
       the airport. You asked me not to tell the VP.

CT - That's not the same. You must follow the rules.

(I'm getting irritated)
Me - Well, rules can be stupid.

CT - You should've come on the field trip to the museum, you need to learn about Korean culture.

Me - I learn more about Korean culture by observing day-to-day life and having conversations like
       this than by going to museums, with fake artifacts, where I'm told how great Korea is.

CT - But you broke the rules by leaving early, we must follow the rules.

Me - If you were on a sinking ship and the captain, who just left, told you to stay where you are
       would you stay because it's the rules?

CT - ....

Me - So you see, rules can be stupid. I didn't go on the trip because I had a choice, I'm never
       invited on my other school field trips, they usually let me stay at home. I left early because my
       wife's safety is more important than following a ridiculous and pointless rule.

CT - Korean teachers don't like the rule either, but what if something happened to you?

Me - Then like an adult, I'll accept the responsibility of my actions, I'm not a child. What if 
       something happened to my wife? What if something happened to you when you sneaked out?
       Do the rules only apply to me?

CT - I hope you follow the rules next time.

Like speaking French to a goldfish.

I have to be honest- you sound very unprofessional and childish here. Your co-teacher was definitely in the right and you were in the wrong.

+1

Best to simply say, "I'm sorry.  It won't happen again."

This is a rant thread, I know, but bringing up the Sewol, like that, really shows a very ugly and nasty side of you.

You took the car, knowing you were going to try to pull this stunt of disappearing early.

You were caught.  Own it.

Had an argument with my CT today. Technically, I was at fault, but I was a bit fed up with her complete hypocrisy.

Last Monday, my Monday school had a field trip. My CT, who's quite ambiguous and vague when explaining things, didn't make it clear whether I was to come along or stay at school. I arrived and announced that I wasn't really keen on going, she didn't make a big deal out of it and wished me a pleasant day before heading off. She said everyone would be returning between 16:30 and 17:00.

At about 10AM, I realised that aside from a few admin staff and the cleaning ladies, I was the only soul in school. I decided I wasn't going to sit in an empty school till 16:30 and drive 45min away to pick my wife up after 5pm, heck my CT ducks out early every now and then and tells me to "keep secret". I left, discreetly.

Today my CT tells me that she's upset that I didn't come along and she's also upset that I left before 16:30. Who the f**k decided to snitch, I'll never know.

(Not exactly verbatim. I used much simpler English in the actual conversation, but for the sake of brevity, I won't write exactly what was said). My wife works at a school, very far from the one I was
at that day.

CT - Why didn't you come on the field trip and why did you leave before 16:30?

Me - You didn't say anything at the time and I'm sorry, but I'm not going to let my wife wait near
        an empty bus stop till after 5pm. She's been harassed by creepy old men before. (Usually, she
       takes the car and picks me up after 5, but I took it today since I was sure I could leave early).

CT - You need to follow the rules, you must leave at 16:30.

Me - Last week, you left early and the month before, you left after lunch to pick up your husband at
       the airport. You asked me not to tell the VP.

CT - That's not the same. You must follow the rules.

(I'm getting irritated)
Me - Well, rules can be stupid.

CT - You should've come on the field trip to the museum, you need to learn about Korean culture.

Me - I learn more about Korean culture by observing day-to-day life and having conversations like
       this than by going to museums, with fake artifacts, where I'm told how great Korea is.

CT - But you broke the rules by leaving early, we must follow the rules.

Me - If you were on a sinking ship and the captain, who just left, told you to stay where you are
       would you stay because it's the rules?

CT - ....

Me - So you see, rules can be stupid. I didn't go on the trip because I had a choice, I'm never
       invited on my other school field trips, they usually let me stay at home. I left early because my
       wife's safety is more important than following a ridiculous and pointless rule.

CT - Korean teachers don't like the rule either, but what if something happened to you?

Me - Then like an adult, I'll accept the responsibility of my actions, I'm not a child. What if 
       something happened to my wife? What if something happened to you when you sneaked out?
       Do the rules only apply to me?

CT - I hope you follow the rules next time.

Like speaking French to a goldfish.

I have to be honest- you sound very unprofessional and childish here. Your co-teacher was definitely in the right and you were in the wrong.

No, it sounds like he was within his rights not to go on the field trip, as nobody came forth and said "You have to go because it's in your contract." No, the co-teacher was unprofessional for laying guilt trips on him, simply because she didn't want to go herself and felt it was unfair that a foreigner didn't have to do the things that she has to do.

Had an argument with my CT today. Technically, I was at fault, but I was a bit fed up with her complete hypocrisy.

Hades-esque low blow to bring up Sewol like that. Come on, dude.

This is a rant thread, I know, but bringing up the Sewol, like that, really shows a very ugly and nasty side of you.

No. Everyone here needs to be constantly reminded of it and have their nose rubbed in it until someone learns something from it and acts upon this lesson.

Had an argument with my CT today. Technically, I was at fault, but I was a bit fed up with her complete hypocrisy.

Last Monday, my Monday school had a field trip. My CT, who's quite ambiguous and vague when explaining things, didn't make it clear whether I was to come along or stay at school. I arrived and announced that I wasn't really keen on going, she didn't make a big deal out of it and wished me a pleasant day before heading off. She said everyone would be returning between 16:30 and 17:00.

At about 10AM, I realised that aside from a few admin staff and the cleaning ladies, I was the only soul in school. I decided I wasn't going to sit in an empty school till 16:30 and drive 45min away to pick my wife up after 5pm, heck my CT ducks out early every now and then and tells me to "keep secret". I left, discreetly.

Today my CT tells me that she's upset that I didn't come along and she's also upset that I left before 16:30. Who the f**k decided to snitch, I'll never know.

(Not exactly verbatim. I used much simpler English in the actual conversation, but for the sake of brevity, I won't write exactly what was said). My wife works at a school, very far from the one I was
at that day.

CT - Why didn't you come on the field trip and why did you leave before 16:30?

Me - You didn't say anything at the time and I'm sorry, but I'm not going to let my wife wait near
        an empty bus stop till after 5pm. She's been harassed by creepy old men before. (Usually, she
       takes the car and picks me up after 5, but I took it today since I was sure I could leave early).

CT - You need to follow the rules, you must leave at 16:30.

Me - Last week, you left early and the month before, you left after lunch to pick up your husband at
       the airport. You asked me not to tell the VP.

CT - That's not the same. You must follow the rules.

(I'm getting irritated)
Me - Well, rules can be stupid.

CT - You should've come on the field trip to the museum, you need to learn about Korean culture.

Me - I learn more about Korean culture by observing day-to-day life and having conversations like
       this than by going to museums, with fake artifacts, where I'm told how great Korea is.

CT - But you broke the rules by leaving early, we must follow the rules.

Me - If you were on a sinking ship and the captain, who just left, told you to stay where you are
       would you stay because it's the rules?

CT - ....

Me - So you see, rules can be stupid. I didn't go on the trip because I had a choice, I'm never
       invited on my other school field trips, they usually let me stay at home. I left early because my
       wife's safety is more important than following a ridiculous and pointless rule.

CT - Korean teachers don't like the rule either, but what if something happened to you?

Me - Then like an adult, I'll accept the responsibility of my actions, I'm not a child. What if 
       something happened to my wife? What if something happened to you when you sneaked out?
       Do the rules only apply to me?

CT - I hope you follow the rules next time.

Like speaking French to a goldfish.

I have to be honest- you sound very unprofessional and childish here. Your co-teacher was definitely in the right and you were in the wrong.

No, it sounds like he was within his rights not to go on the field trip, as nobody came forth and said "You have to go because it's in your contract." No, the co-teacher was unprofessional for laying guilt trips on him, simply because she didn't want to go herself and felt it was unfair that a foreigner didn't have to do the things that she has to do.

Kimchiyum, that's ok. Normally, I'd have to agree with you, but I do more favours for this woman than any other CT. Last month, I heavily edited her open class material, most Mondays I do one-on-one conversations with her son, for about 20min during lunch and I help her with her afterschool class for free, despite me already teaching 22hrs a week.

It's becoming quite obvious to me that she never reciprocates favours other than passing on  a few disgusting rice cakes for my help, whenever someone gives them to her.

I've tried, but it's simply impossible for me to think and act so rigidly.

I think Aristocrat is definitely in the right there. 

It's fine to stand up for yourself when you're being treated like a child/a teenager on work experience.

I have to be honest- you sound very unprofessional and childish here. Your co-teacher was definitely in the right and you were in the wrong.

No, it sounds like he was within his rights not to go on the field trip, as nobody came forth and said "You have to go because it's in your contract." No, the co-teacher was unprofessional for laying guilt trips on him, simply because she didn't want to go herself and felt it was unfair that a foreigner didn't have to do the things that she has to do.

He was within his rights not to go on the trip, but not to leave work before 4:30. His wife could have waited for him somewhere safer than a bus stop, like a cafe or the place that she works. The CT is saying that if he was going to break the rules and leave work early, it would have been better for everyone if he just went on the trip.

I don't get all the criticisms of bringing up the Sewol to make a point. Bringing up a personal tragedy would be low I agree but as someone else said, lessons can be learned from a public one.