RANTING/VENTING MEGATHREAD 3.0

I'm super emotional lately and feel like crying at almost everything, good, bad, cute animals - all of it. So annoying. Why, hormones? 

I hate speaking tests. so. much.

This seems pretty universal. Why? I kind of dig them, personally.

Well for myself, they're incredibly monotonous, especially since I've got to do it for over 600 students.

I also think they're a big waste of time -- most of the students just give a lot of pre-memorized answers, and that doesn't really reflect conversation ability. Only a handful of students have decent English speaking ability, and an even smaller pool of them choose to use what they know in an engaging manner. I do get a lot of funny answers from kids who are relaxed enough to spit them out (these actually come from my lower level students), but... yeah.

If I had fewer students and didn't have to finish the exams within such a short space of time, this could be a fun project/activity opportunity, but with so many students and the small amount of time they give me to complete the tests, it's just dull and tedious.

Funny you say that.
Last week, I did my own surprise listening test. I made a list of 5 common, yet simple, English words and 5 basic English sentences. I also had 3 questions where students had to write down one noun, verb and adjective, I emphasise these figures of speech in almost every lesson. Finally, I gave a bonus question, where the students had to make their own sentence using the noun, verb and adjective they wrote down. I teach at 4 different school, here's how it went:

- I explained that the test wasn't for marks, they'd mark it themselves and it was simply a way for them to see where they were struggling and how they could improve, there was absolutely no reason to cheat... Still, an average of 30% of the students cheated.

- Half of my CTs tried to help the students, even after telling the students, themselves, not to cheat... WTF?

- One CT kept giving the damn answers, even after I told her numerous times to stop, and kept bugging me to make the questions easier.

- Some students did fairly well, however no student got full marks. Not a single student, even
  my high level students, could write a grammatically correct sentence, using a verb a noun and an adjective... The sum of 1000s of hours at hagwons and "study".

Most alarmed with my announcement of the surprise test were my CTs, not the students. I suspect they don't want any students to get shitty marks and complain to their parents how the nasty foreigner and CT gave them hard tests. I'm reminded on a daily basis that I'm probably the only person who cares about effectively teaching/learning English, at my schools, and everyone else is playing along with this vulgar farce.

It's the same for me.  I have 30 students to test in 45 minutes.  It's so repetitive.  I ask the same questions about 500 times and get the same answer maybe 475 times.

You should vary the questions so the students who take it later in the period don't have an unfair advantage.

I think I was exaggerating a bit on that one.  I do try to vary the questions a bit but it's still quite a bit as there is only a pool of five questions I have to choose from.  I also have to provide example answers which they are allowed to use in the test.  This means most of the answer are the ones that I have written...

It's the same for me.  I have 30 students to test in 45 minutes.  It's so repetitive.  I ask the same questions about 500 times and get the same answer maybe 475 times.

You should vary the questions so the students who take it later in the period don't have an unfair advantage.

I think I was exaggerating a bit on that one.  I do try to vary the questions a bit but it's still quite a bit as there is only a pool of five questions I have to choose from.  I also have to provide example answers which they are allowed to use in the test.  This means most of the answer are the ones that I have written...

Speaking test rants. Oh yes, I have a few... 

I give my coteachers handouts two weeks before the test. On the handout are around 25-30 questions. Every single one of those questions are lifted directly from the textbook, with the relevant page number at the end of the question. The students 'study' that work sheet for 2 weeks.
   Come test time, I ask 2 or 3 random questions from the sheet.

Of the 1,100 students who are tested by me (oh man, soooo burned out after that last student....) only about 5 or 6 have perfect scores. The average real score is about 50-60%, which through mathematical magic, is transfigurated to 80%.

My rant is... why do sooo many students completely bomb the exam after having all the answers handed to them, and having had 1 or 2 classes devoted exclusively to going over the work sheet? It just blows my mind. 

I give my coteachers handouts two weeks before the test. On the handout are around 25-30 questions. Every single one of those questions are lifted directly from the textbook, with the relevant page number at the end of the question. The students 'study' that work sheet for 2 weeks.
   Come test time, I ask 2 or 3 random questions from the sheet.

Of the 1,100 students who are tested by me (oh man, soooo burned out after that last student....) only about 5 or 6 have perfect scores. The average real score is about 50-60%, which through mathematical magic, is transfigurated to 80%.

My rant is... why do sooo many students completely bomb the exam after having all the answers handed to them, and having had 1 or 2 classes devoted exclusively to going over the work sheet? It just blows my mind. 

Reminds me of a 6th grade after school class I used to teach. I saw them twice a week: Mondays and Fridays. On one Monday, I taught them the English names of a handful of European countries. We went over them all together several times, filled out maps, did some word searches, etc.

I told them that that coming Friday they were going to have a quiz. I told them the quiz was just going to be the exact same map they had just filled out, except instead of having to write the country names, they only had to match the names from a list to the letters on the countries. That's it. A matching exercise based on a map & list of countries they all had. To sweeten the pot, I even told them I'd give them each one m&m for every answer they got right.

Friday arrives, they all take the quiz, and of 13 students, one student aced it. Most others were in the 60% range, and a couple students only got one or two right. I made different answer sheets so that no students sitting next to each other would have the same answers and therefore couldn't cheat, which they didn't realize, and the only reason those students didn't get 0% was because they managed to fuck up copying their friends and accidentally got a few right. 

SIX f*%king open classes

It's the same for me.  I have 30 students to test in 45 minutes.  It's so repetitive.  I ask the same questions about 500 times and get the same answer maybe 475 times.

You should vary the questions so the students who take it later in the period don't have an unfair advantage.

I think I was exaggerating a bit on that one.  I do try to vary the questions a bit but it's still quite a bit as there is only a pool of five questions I have to choose from.  I also have to provide example answers which they are allowed to use in the test.  This means most of the answer are the ones that I have written...

Speaking test rants. Oh yes, I have a few... 

I give my coteachers handouts two weeks before the test. On the handout are around 25-30 questions. Every single one of those questions are lifted directly from the textbook, with the relevant page number at the end of the question. The students 'study' that work sheet for 2 weeks.
   Come test time, I ask 2 or 3 random questions from the sheet.

Of the 1,100 students who are tested by me (oh man, soooo burned out after that last student....) only about 5 or 6 have perfect scores. The average real score is about 50-60%, which through mathematical magic, is transfigurated to 80%.

My rant is... why do sooo many students completely bomb the exam after having all the answers handed to them, and having had 1 or 2 classes devoted exclusively to going over the work sheet? It just blows my mind. 

1100 students!  Not sure I would manage to retain my sanity through that.  Much respect!

Preach on...

There are some very real third world practices still going on here.

Some might think that after 5,000 years of "civilization" that the masses would learn.

Not long ago, the president's wife from the ROK was on CNN cooking food and very clearly explained why she uses her unwashed/bare hands when preparing food.

According to "popular" belief, that is how one transfers their "love" into the food for others to enjoy (feel the love).

As for the transfer of germs, bacteria, filth, etc., nothing was mentioned ;)

  1100?! 

So glad I have small schools. My total number of students across 4 schools is 88.

I just got a huge bag of green beans from a teacher with a garden. I said thank you then ate a couple raw out of the bag, and a few coworkers started laughing and telling me I can't do that, then another one brought his phone over and showed me pictures of cooked green beans and how to eat them.

Not 10 minutes later, a different teacher starts eating them raw and no one says anything.

Preach on...

There are some very real third world practices still going on here.

Some might think that after 5,000 years of "civilization" that the masses would learn.

Not long ago, the president's wife from the ROK was on CNN cooking food and very clearly explained why she uses her unwashed/bare hands when preparing food.

According to "popular" belief, that is how one transfers their "love" into the food for others to enjoy (feel the love).

As for the transfer of germs, bacteria, filth, etc., nothing was mentioned ;)

I... I'm skeptical about this. I've literally never heard this belief from any Korean women I've met. I'm not saying you're wrong, I'm just saying, that seem a bit unfair to call it "popular" belief, even if you are using quotation marks. I think that woman is just weird.

I think it probably relates to 손맛 (hand taste). This is super important in making makgeolli. That said, you still wash your damn hands first before mixing your rice and fermentation starter. Some ajummas just use water to clean, some go the whole nine with industrial soap than a thorough rinse. But to not do anything to your hands prior is absurd.

Yes, 손맛.

She even fed the host with her bare hands, which was pretty funny.

I put the word in quotes, as I don't actually think that the belief is that "popular" these days, due to most people accepting science.

nice to know even the lunch ladies at my school don't wash their hands after using the toilet. and they have no shame either, walking right out of the stall and right by other teachers. but all the other teachers do it too so i guess it doesn't matter. i don't understand this obsession with rinsing the feet but hands are paid no attention even if you work with food. i remember my hairdresser using the bathroom and coming out to work on my hair without washing her hands and i've been in food places that have bathrooms with no sinks... this kind of stuff is so nasty to me.

Ive seen more bars of soap in urinals than i have next to sinks in Korea...

This drives me nuts.  My coteacher started doing this thing where when the students are loud she slams the metal door lock against the desk repeatedly.  So now the desk has all these chips in it.  She does it all the time now.  How can she possibly not notice she's destroying school property?  She's an animal.

I just got a huge bag of green beans from a teacher with a garden. I said thank you then ate a couple raw out of the bag, and a few coworkers started laughing and telling me I can't do that, then another one brought his phone over and showed me pictures of cooked green beans and how to eat them.

Not 10 minutes later, a different teacher starts eating them raw and no one says anything.

Yup! That's what its like being under a microscope. Everything you do is because you don't know better or because you're foreign, it's not allowed to just be a personal preference and left alone. Small annoyance, but still an annoyance nonetheless.

Weird. Today people are picking up all the things that really grind my gears here. Usually I don't complain.

But like, yeah - people watch your biz way too closely here.

Definitely an annoyance. I try not to let a lot of things bother me, but telling me how to eat is one of them. Like a low-key Joey.

Really hoping my 1st graders aren't little $h*ts today. Last week my coteacher actually gave them a harsh lecture after running crazy for the majority of my after school class. I hoping they haven't forgotten about it or that he'll give them a look when they come in the room or something.

Is it too much to ask that the kids enjoy crafts and coloring like American kids? I get it, English class is boring, they have no Korean teacher. They should be happy I let them color and do crafts that are vaguely English related.

I am going home to England for my winter vacatation. So I want to book my flights ASAP to save myself a considerable amount of money. Everyone I ask seems to have no idea when I can take my vacation or when they intend to start and finish winter camp. Like seriously... no one has any idea? Is it that hard? When I push the question further they look like deers in the headlights, absolutely startled by my questions.

If I don't get an answer within a couple of weeks I will just go ahead and book when is convenient for me. I have asked enough times now.

I am going home to England for my winter vacatation. So I want to book my flights ASAP to save myself a considerable amount of money. Everyone I ask seems to have no idea when I can take my vacation or when they intend to start and finish winter camp. Like seriously... no one has any idea? Is it that hard? When I push the question further they look like deers in the headlights, absolutely startled by my questions.

If I don't get an answer within a couple of weeks I will just go ahead and book when is convenient for me. I have asked enough times now.

RANTING/VENTING MEGATHREAD 3.0 November 23, 2016

Jack Roxby: I can't believe the flight I booked coincides with my winter camp! 

I am going home to England for my winter vacatation. So I want to book my flights ASAP to save myself a considerable amount of money. Everyone I ask seems to have no idea when I can take my vacation or when they intend to start and finish winter camp. Like seriously... no one has any idea? Is it that hard? When I push the question further they look like deers in the headlights, absolutely startled by my questions.

If I don't get an answer within a couple of weeks I will just go ahead and book when is convenient for me. I have asked enough times now.

Yea I would say there's nothing wrong with just getting it booked.  Camp dates can easily be moved around/scheduled for when you're not on vacation.

I am going home to England for my winter vacatation. So I want to book my flights ASAP to save myself a considerable amount of money. Everyone I ask seems to have no idea when I can take my vacation or when they intend to start and finish winter camp. Like seriously... no one has any idea? Is it that hard? When I push the question further they look like deers in the headlights, absolutely startled by my questions.

If I don't get an answer within a couple of weeks I will just go ahead and book when is convenient for me. I have asked enough times now.

Seriously, just book it. I get so annoyed with foreign teachers lack of assertiveness, and then subsequent whining on waygook. Book it, and they'll fit the camp around you. They will. If they don't, you don't teach it. simple.