RANTING/VENTING MEGATHREAD 3.0

I think the point is that certain topics are more sensitive than others. In order to maintain a semblance of civility, it's probably best to avoid them, or at least tread lightly around those topics on a professional web forum.

      Aside from the usual suspects like sexuality, religion, race identity, and politics, there are additional sensitive topics that can be unique to different forums. We have a pretty international crowd, so there are international topics that might need to be treated carefully (ie discussion of different government styles, and the critique of different national leaders). Also, a many of us English teachers are hopeless pedants, so discussions about things like the oxford comma, regional variations in spelling, the usefulness of the subjunctive mood, and whether people who say "irregardless", "I could care less", and "xir" should be publicly beaten, are all topics that can lead to heated internet arguments. Given the nature of online anonymity, this can quickly lead to flaming, trolling, and hurt feelings.

     Personally, I don't feel that any topic should be out-of-bounds, but I do think people should be a little more empathetic, and be aware that not everybody is as comfortable debating a topic as they might be.
   So basically, you know, chill out and be excellent to each other etc etc.

I'm all for that. If it were to be applied equally.

But you know that is just not the case. If it cannot, or will not be applied equally, then nothing should be out of bounds.

You can't say that about Islam, some people are uncomfortable with it. It is their religion and it means a lot to them even though it also impacts on your life. 'OK, I'm sorry, I will be more aware'

You can't say that about Trans people, some people are uncomfortable with it. They truly believe it is possible to switch biological sexes and become the other. It means a lot to them even though it also impacts on your and your children's lives. 'Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't understand, I will be more aware'

You can't say that about POTUS, some people are uncomfortable with it. He is a symbol of the traditional life that they believe in and it means a lot to them even though it also impacts your life. 'F YOU BIGOT! F YOUR FEELINGS RACIST DUMBASS!'

apply it equally or not at all.

I get it, but my point is more that people ought to be a bit more careful when discussing things they know their audience is sensitive to, not that they shouldn't be discussed at all.

All three of your examples are topics that people here use to rile each other up over when more moderate discussion could be a lot more enlightening (although will probably be a bit less entertaining).

Saying "People who use the oxford commas are stupid. It's pointless, and just reeks of Britishness." is just venting at the expense of other people's feelings. The same points can be brought up in far less trollish terms.  Heated arguments rarely convince anybody of anything, even if they're 100% correct: it just causes them to entrench even deeper.

And yeah, chill should definitely be applied to all things equally!

I get it, but my point is more that people ought to be a bit more careful when discussing things they know their audience is sensitive to, not that they shouldn't be discussed at all.

All three of your examples are topics that people here use to rile each other up over when more moderate discussion could be a lot more enlightening (although will probably be a bit less entertaining).

Saying "People who use the oxford commas are stupid. It's pointless, and just reeks of Britishness." is just venting at the expense of other people's feelings. The same points can be brought up in far less trollish terms.  Heated arguments rarely convince anybody of anything, even if they're 100% correct: it just causes them to entrench even deeper.

And yeah, chill should definitely be applied to all things equally!

Great response, although I'm skeptical of how that would work as everyone is sensitive to different things at different levels.

You have seen the recent outcry over the KAREN meme? Women are now comparing it the the N word. The culture of trying desperately to be the victim, to be oppressed, to be victimised because someone is taking the piss out of you. It's utterly pathetic.

The second people understand that your REACTION to someone mocking you is what makes offence a 'thing' and choose not to react, is the moment all of this goes away and we can all live together and quite rightfully, be chill with each other.

I disagree on the deodorant/antiperspirant needing to be unscented thing. I've always used a scented one and unless it has a really strong smell, tends to be really subtle, to the point you can't even smell it after a couple mins anyway. There are also some really nice smelling ones.
But like I mentioned, where I'm from, guys who get perfumes / colognes are gay. So when I saw the original post about it, I couldn't, and still don't, understand how someone, who claims to be straight, puts that much effort into choosing and using that stuff, when there are much simpler solutions out there; but again, it stems from guy culture from where I was raised.

Before Korea, I worked out every day, I always shower twice a day, and have never had a complaint about smell; unless after farting counts.

I'm not going to argue with the gay connotation. You grew up in an overly masculine environment, so did I (A grandmother as the matriarch and 5 other men, all in one big family home).
What I learned was that masculinity is a broad term. Taking pride in your appearance is just as masculine as using power tools to make something, they aren't mutually exclusive.

What you're failing to understand is that people like myself see, what you consider a chore, as fun. Life would be much simpler if I simply ate oats every single morning, but would it be better? Likewise, I can just put on a hoddie, a pair of jeans and just spray on some Axe in the morning, but that takes the fun out of getting dressed. In the same way you (hopefully) wouldn't invite guests into a dirty apartment, I wouldn't go to work or even step outside without looking presentable.

Regarding cost, I think a bit differently. It's not simply how much something costs, but what you're getting out of it. A $5 bottle of Lynx vs. an $80 bottle of La Nuit de l'Homme. The Lynx might get you, 40 days. A 100ml La Nuit, around 1200 sprays, that's about 400 days at 3 sprays a day... FYI, La Nuit is a date night fragrance, not an everyday one, so unless you're going on dates every night, it lasts longer.

So, the La Nuit already has 10X the volume, but the Lynx, at $5 X 10 = $50. So, we're talking a $30 difference. It's already fully established that deodorants DO NOT do the same job as perfumes... If my grandmother had wheels she'd be a bike?
So, for an extra $30, over the period of at least 2yrs, I smell good, I feel good, others feel good that I smell good, it's all good.

I'm not choosing the simplest way to do something, I'm choosing the best way.

I'm not choosing the simplest way to do something, I'm choosing the best way.

People have said this before, but I'll say it again.

I don't always agree with you, and you show some holier than thou attitudes, but I truly enjoy reading your posts.

You are genuine and we can tell you've thought things through. So, thanks for giving me something to read and ponder occasionally.

I'm skeptical of how that would work as everyone is sensitive to different things at different levels.
...The culture of trying desperately to be the victim, to be oppressed, to be victimised because someone is taking the piss out of you.

We live in an imperfect world. 

As a great man once shamelessly stole from a somewhat obscure poet:
“You can please some of the people all of the time, you can please all of the people some of the time, but you can't please all the people all of the time.”

All we can do is our best, I guess.

As a great man once shamelessly stole from a somewhat obscure poet:
“You can please some of the people all of the time, you can please all of the people some of the time, but you can't please all the people all of the time.”

Well, now time passed and now it seems

Everybody’s having them dreams

Everybody sees themselves

Walkin’ around with no one else

Half of the people can be part right all of the time

Some of the people can be all right part of the time

But all of the people can’t be all right all of the time

I think Abraham Lincoln said that

“I’ll let you be in my dreams if I can be in yours”

I said that

- Bob Dylan, Talkin' World War III Blues

If my grandmother had wheels she'd be a bike?

[edit: also hey @aristocrat i'm interested in smelling like im "not straight" or whatever. can you recommend a good antiperspirant and maybe a few fragrances for me to check out? thanks brotendo~ (seriously though im genuinely curious)]

For those not in the loop, one of the greatest videos in internet history.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A-RfHC91Ewc

Well, now time passed and now it seems

Everybody’s having them dreams

Everybody sees themselves

Walkin’ around with no one else

Half of the people can be part right all of the time

Some of the people can be all right part of the time

But all of the people can’t be all right all of the time

I think Abraham Lincoln said that

“I’ll let you be in my dreams if I can be in yours”

I said that

- Bob Dylan, Talkin' World War III Blues

Just to be clear, Abe stole it from John Lydgate, not Bob Dylan. 

Just to be clear, Abe stole it from John Lydgate, not Bob Dylan. 

Dishonest Abe

[edit: also hey @aristocrat i'm interested in smelling like im "not straight" or whatever. can you recommend a good antiperspirant and maybe a few fragrances for me to check out? thanks brotendo~ (seriously though im genuinely curious)]

Nothing special for antiperspirant, I just use Old Spice pure sport rollon. Personally, I only recommend rollon, it goes directly where you want it to so you're not spraying money into the air. The pure sport doesn't have a strong smell, stay where it should and with a good undershirt combo, you're almost guaranteed to have no odor issues, even in the middle of summer.

It's difficult to recommend fragrances for someone else, but these are what I have and what I use them for:

Armani Code Profumo - Awesome winter fragrance when going out, slightly sweet but not in a girly way. Quite strong.

Bvlgari Man in Black - Uber masculine, nice warm, leathery, boozy (in a good way) smell. Strictly cold weather, think rich, handsome badass in a biker jacket

La Nuit de l'Homme - Date night fragrance, particularly for those warm summer nights. Women LOVE this one... a bit soft though

Prada l'Homme - Year round work fragrance, clean professional and inoffensive, but masculine, you'll never be called "the perfume guy", by folks in the office with this one.

Guerlain Ideal Cool - One of my new favourites. A fresh masculine scent with an 'artistic' vibe. Works great year-round.

Mr Burberry - Pretty generic, my wife really liked it when we were in the store so I got it. My only real blind-buy and I regret it.

There are plenty of fragrance guys on YouTube. I'd suggest Jeremy Fragrance, he clowns it up a bit and is pretty entertaining to watch, but he knows his stuff... just don't buy his signature fragrance, heard it's a ripoff.

People have said this before, but I'll say it again.

I don't always agree with you, and you show some holier than thou attitudes, but I truly enjoy reading your posts.

You are genuine and we can tell you've thought things through. So, thanks for giving me something to read and ponder occasionally.

Appreciate it, cheers.

sorry to de-rail the venting thread further but i have one more question. where do you recommend buying stuff like this in korea? and do you recommend putting the deodorant on at night? (i heard people do that but it sounds... strange?)

sorry to de-rail the venting thread further but i have one more question. where do you recommend buying stuff like this in korea? and do you recommend putting the deodorant on at night? (i heard people do that but it sounds... strange?)

I don't buy in Korea, only duty free. Aside from the markup, most places are pretty snooty about having you try it. The collection isn't quite great here either, mostly the famous and popular ones, not that they aren't famous or popular for a good reason. My local Olive Young has a small selection, but the girls working there are pretty chill about me trying new stuff.

My suggestion is to figure out what season (humidity is a big factor) and occasion you'd want a fragrance for i.e. summer office. Check YouTube  or Google for mens' summer office fragrances, make a list, then go on..

https://www.fragrancenet.com/ni/boutiques/perfume-samples?f=1f!6R

and order some samples. You might know this, but fragrances have notes/ingredients (top, heart and base). Top notes are what you smell during the first 20min or so, heart notes after about an hour and the base notes for the next 5hrs or so. So, you HAVE TO wear it throughout the day to check if you like it.

Deodorant on before bed? Why? Who does that?

Deodorant on before bed? Why? Who does that?

dude i have no idea. i saw some articles like "you're wearing deodorant all wrong" saying that you should wear it at night because it gets into the skin better or something.

**** those articles

Haven't you got anything more mature to do than tell people you don't know and you're never going to meet that they smell?

We're talking hygeine, not "you smell nyah nyah nyah."

I mean, don't you WANT to have good hygeine?

[edit: also hey @aristocrat i'm interested in smelling like im "not straight" or whatever. can you recommend a good antiperspirant and maybe a few fragrances for me to check out? thanks brotendo~ (seriously though im genuinely curious)]

Aristocrats picks are good and you definitely have to match whatever fragrance you buy with the season and time of day and setting and what smells good on one person might not smell good on another. General rule of thumb: If it sounds "Springy/Summery" it probably is. Same with the packaging- the lighter and more white-blue the bottle, odds are its better during the warmer days. However, this is NOT always true, case in point Hanae Mori. This can at least help orient you when you have a dozen bottles to test from and need some orientation. If you're just starting, you should probably look at a daytime and night time summer scent.

Also, one thing thing with testing, it's quite likely within a couple tests your nose will get bombarded and things will start to run together. Test a couple. Choose one and apply, and wear it out of the store and see how it does. A good time is during a group outing and someone dips into Olive Young or wherever and you can try it there and then you might get some reactions during the day/night.

Unscented deodorant is incredibly hard to find in Korea, but pretty easy to find via iherb or Amazon Prime, however I'm not sure about now with Corona...

Steels is clearly not a Lynx man.

Is that the Brit version of Axe? You're absolutely right. I don't want to smell like I'm 16.

I can't. Because the person who is not religious doesn't see religion as an excuse for something. Some catholic priests abused some kids? Yes, but they are catholic. Some Muslims murdered some people at at concert, a beach promenade, at a gay club? Yes, but they are muslim. No, mate. Some pedos and some terrorists.

Being religious is not an excuse for something. It is YOUR excuse for something.

Also, park the whole, you can't make fun of someone for 'religious reasons'. You can make fun of anything someone chooses to do. For example, you can take the piss out of someone who chooses to go birdwatching, you can't take the piss out of someone for having a big nose. This whole, '<insert whatever type of person>...phobia' bs needs to die, and fast. Things need criticising so they fit into our societies.

I think you can see the difference, you just are entering rationalization mode.

Anyways, anyone who judges entire groups or uses characteristics as broad as religion to judge an individual is a pea-wit.