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Drinking too much with coteachers
« on: November 05, 2015, 08:45:32 am »
Last night I got pretty hammered with the other teachers as well as principal and vice principal. It was fun, but I drank waaaaaay too much. My principal kept saying thank you every time I drank a shot so I kept drinking! I really want to form solid relationships with people while I'm here. It's not so much because I care about my job, to be honest even if I refused to go out and drink it wouldn' t matter much job wise.

I was just so happy and I told everyone that I cared about them and I was being very gushy. It was to the point where it was not very manly.  I also told my coteacher that I want to be friends after I'm finished here and I was just too gushy and over the top because I was so happy. It's a cultural thing that I cannot get my mind over. In the states if you did this you would be made fun of. I feel like I just lost too much control and I lowered myself too much. I am sincerely extremely happy with my job, but even when I examine my own behavior last night it could have been seen as brown nosing but I was just trying to be nice just because I was having a good time.

Can anyone relate to these weird feelings? Am I just overreacting to nothing?


  • outsider
  • Veteran

    • 225

    • July 03, 2014, 04:19:05 am
    • Bucheon
Re: Drinking too much with coteachers
« Reply #1 on: November 05, 2015, 08:58:38 am »
Yeah, your just describing the known effects of getting drunk!  I am pretty sure most of us have been there.

Next time drink a little slower and try not to be such a sap!

If it makes you feel better, theres way worse drunks out there than sappy drunks!  You didnt get beligerent or confrontational.  You didnt black out.   You didnt throw up in a potted plant and fall asleep in a toilet stall.   

Dont feel bad.  Your drunken sloppiness has been overshadowed in everyone elses mind by their own. 

Just as long as you make it through work the next day its all good


Re: Drinking too much with coteachers
« Reply #2 on: November 05, 2015, 09:08:59 am »
This is what Koreans do, they mask their feelings all week and then get loaded at hoesik and pour out their feelings and yell a lot. So you were just being Korean.

A lot of foreigners feel pressured to go to every hoesik. Some schools literally do them every week. It's not worth wadting time on them, go to one once every 2 or 3 months and make excuses for the others. Nobody will care and they'll probably like not having to worry about speaking Englishee to you
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Re: Drinking too much with coteachers
« Reply #3 on: November 05, 2015, 09:13:50 am »
Thanks for the feedback. I actually like going out to dinner with them. I don't think I'd want to do it every single week, but it is usually a ton of fun. I'm sincerely just trying to get to know them. I just hate people who kiss butt and the thought that it could be perceived as that is unsettling. When I see old people on the subway I give up my seat for them and that kind of thing. I'm not wanting anything in return, but I do feel some sore of obligation to try and undo some of the negative stereotypes that are out there. I feel like I'm representing all of foreigners  sometimes. Do you guys feel that way too?


  • vietpham
  • Super Waygook

    • 351

    • April 28, 2012, 08:33:18 pm
    • South Korea
Re: Drinking too much with coteachers
« Reply #4 on: November 05, 2015, 09:17:43 am »
Thanks for the feedback. I actually like going out to dinner with them. I don't think I'd want to do it every single week, but it is usually a ton of fun. I'm sincerely just trying to get to know them. I just hate people who kiss butt and the thought that it could be perceived as that is unsettling. When I see old people on the subway I give up my seat for them and that kind of thing. I'm not wanting anything in return, but I do feel some sore of obligation to try and undo some of the negative stereotypes that are out there. I feel like I'm representing all of foreigners  sometimes. Do you guys feel that way too?

Just do what you like man.  If you like it go.  If not, don't.  Don't worry much about what other people think.  If you feel it's too much just say you have something to do ~2 hours into it.  Don't go for the second round after dinner.  It does help with rapport and could have benefits down the road.


Re: Drinking too much with coteachers
« Reply #5 on: November 05, 2015, 09:59:50 am »
I got really trashed at a hwaesik (this was back when my school didn't suck and I actually had nice coteachers) and they made me go to noraebang and I sang "Bad Romance" with hella feeling. Was pretty embarrassed the next morning, as I cannot sing worth a damn, but everyone told me how nice it was to see me let go and join the party. So just laugh it off if you get teased; you were saying nice stuff and I'm sure no one minded!


  • CliffK
  • Moderator LVL 1

    • 329

    • September 03, 2014, 10:57:02 am
    • South Korea
Re: Drinking too much with coteachers
« Reply #6 on: November 05, 2015, 10:08:36 am »
Not to worry! Most Koreans seem to love the friendly foreigner so all is well. My vice-principal at my old school used to get really drunk and tell me I had a kind face, even saying "I love you" to me on more than one occasion. Haha caught me off guard at first, but the man just became super gregarious when he was drinking. Put a little less soju in the somaec next time, but I'm sure that no one thinks less of you, no worries!


  • Piggydee
  • The Legend

    • 2718

    • October 15, 2013, 07:32:43 am
    • South Korea
Re: Drinking too much with coteachers
« Reply #7 on: November 05, 2015, 10:18:37 am »
My experience.  If you hate all your bosses but you are cool with with other NET coworkers I say drink baby nibble sips of the soju/beer.  LOL At my former hellwon my coworkers and I had a ball trolling our bosses and our superiors as we watched them get drunk.   Imagine how 8 foreigners gave the Koreans a complex because we were all sitting there giving super judge face stink eye at their loudness.  They all eventually stopped and went home sulky because we would not get wastey pants with them.  We all (ONLY THE NETs) had the last laugh at a bar down a few blocks after that hellshiek.  We were making fun of how stupid one of our superiors was because she kept drunk complaining how she lost her Chanel makeup compact LOL   

However if you get sh*t face at a heisheik  (as I did at my second hakwon)  I'm talking flirting with your coworkers and than YOU TURN INTO AN ANGRY DRUNK THAT WANTS TO GO HOME, as what unfortunately happened to me once  :cry: :cry:.....YEAH expect every day till the time you decide to quit to be AWKWARD TIMES 1000.  At least when you get drunk or belligerent with follow foreigners they will let it go after a month or so.  Nope not Koreans they will keep reminding you of you being loud and pushy over and over like a bad news reel of "This is your life."   It's okay for Koreans to get loud and stupid.  JUST DON'T YOU DO IT!!

OH AND IF YOU PUKE (THANK THE GOOD LORD THIS HAS NEVER HAPPENED TO ME) You will be called "the pizza teacher."  As what happened to a friend of a friend.  Oh and you will no longer be invited to company dos because of it.

Nowadays, when I heisheik, I sip my drinks slowly and I only speak if spoken to.  Yeah it might seem antisocial but it's a way I can keep myself from running off at the mouth and speaking out of turn.  Because yeah I don't want a repeat of my second hakwon experiences at my current public school. 

By the way, can someone tell me the etiquette for if you want to a sip of libations but no one offers you a drink.  I had to wait well in to the night of my last company dinner before anyone offered me a sip of CASS.  OP that's great you want to make friends with your coworkers but just a piece of advice.  Don't potty where you eat.  Or my favorite, I don't get stupid with the people who provide my bread and butter.  I like to get stupid with my friends who know and love me for me. 

Just something to think about.  Because even the chattiest of Kathys to Koreans during drinking times can be off putting and create an awkward environment at work.   And that's if you don't get drunk.  That's why I speak when spoken too. 
« Last Edit: November 06, 2015, 07:29:21 am by Piggydee »


Re: Drinking too much with coteachers
« Reply #8 on: November 05, 2015, 11:33:36 am »
at one of my schools when we went to noraebang one of the maths teachers got really drunk and started grinding her ass into my crotch. in front of practically all the other teachers at the school.

next day everyone is back at work like nothing happened.

a little bit of sappyness when drunk is far from the worst thing that could have happened at a hwaesik.


  • cjszk
  • Expert Waygook

    • 894

    • August 23, 2013, 10:29:05 am
    • Seoul
Re: Drinking too much with coteachers
« Reply #9 on: November 05, 2015, 11:42:16 am »
The principal at my previous school loved drinking. Lots of 회식 and drinking. During one trip we got extremely drunk... things got really stupid and crazy and I did eventually black out but I remember standing on my head for periods because of some game we were playing. It got really out of hand. Just forget it, if anything it may make them feel more comfortable around you seeing a more human side. No one likes a person that doesn't seem human- a person that doesn't have many imperfections to reveal. If they saw those utterly vulnerable sides of you that would actually make them feel easier around you.

That said, hope nothing eerie or inappropriate happened  :laugh:


  • Piggydee
  • The Legend

    • 2718

    • October 15, 2013, 07:32:43 am
    • South Korea
Re: Drinking too much with coteachers
« Reply #10 on: November 05, 2015, 11:48:52 am »
cjszk and johnny russian you guys sound like you worked for some chill schools.  Too bad I had to put up with the embarrassment 4 months after it happen.  I guess in all drinking circles you have the types like you guys "live and let live"  and then you have those damn types who keep on "Hey remember how you grabbed Min Joon teacher and you were all likkkkke"  types that will not let you live it down. 

But I'm SOOOOO GLAD I don't work for that hakwon anymore and really I don't want to figure out if my school is the "live and let live" people or the "OMG Englishee teacher sooo loud."  I rather be a robot with a beer in hand taking my time than join in on the yelling and loud banter.  Bad experience taught me to know better.   


Re: Drinking too much with coteachers
« Reply #11 on: November 05, 2015, 12:29:38 pm »
During my first year in Korea the teachers all went away for a night and two days me included.  Anyway the PE teacher decided to get me shitfaced which i didn't resist.  We left the restaurant with me linking arms with the school administrator.  Then at noraebang i interrupted my main coteacher to dance a and sing with him which everyone enjoyed.

However I then went outside and threw up all outside the entrance of the noraebang.  I was then thrown into a mini bus when all the other teachers wanted to leave went back to the hotel threw up in the hotel lobby in front of the whole staff including the principal.

was woken up at 6 the falling morning to go to the bath house with the male teachers while I was still drunk not a good idea.  I then had a good breakfast with all the teachers but looked like crap.  The PE teacher then showed up and wanted me to do hair of the dog which resulted in him taking a lot of crap from the other teachers.

But everything was fine and I stayed at that school for 5 years.  My coteacher said its called fishing and older men often try and get the younger men drunk to show off to the women.  The PE teacher got in more trouble than me for it.


  • Piggydee
  • The Legend

    • 2718

    • October 15, 2013, 07:32:43 am
    • South Korea
Re: Drinking too much with coteachers
« Reply #12 on: November 05, 2015, 12:56:33 pm »
Wow Chris0206  your story is right up there with a friend who told me he drunkenly pee'd the bed at a company retreat LOL thanks for sharing.  Your school sounded super cool too.  Seriously I don't understand those people who get all up in arms other people who get a little loud and rowdy when drunk.....It's called drunk for a reason. 


  • oskinny1
  • Expert Waygook

    • 662

    • November 01, 2010, 10:31:37 am
    • Busan
Re: Drinking too much with coteachers
« Reply #13 on: November 05, 2015, 08:33:31 pm »

just dont confess your love to any coworkers   :-[

I want to hear more about this story.