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  • Nivea
  • Hero of Waygookistan

    • 1644

    • September 02, 2011, 11:23:30 pm
Re: Anyone have any issues with your GF/BF's parents?
« Reply #20 on: September 30, 2015, 12:07:31 pm »
Could you post the name of her dental practice so we can avoid visiting a dentist who appears anxious and on meds. Any medical treatment in this country is enough of an ordeal already.


  • Epistemology
  • Hero of Waygookistan

    • 1904

    • September 19, 2010, 01:57:27 pm
    more
Re: Anyone have any issues with your GF/BF's parents?
« Reply #21 on: September 30, 2015, 12:08:50 pm »
Small suggestion.

Try and get the crazy mother involved in something like a church to take up her free time. the less time she has to bother her daughter, the better.
Away an bile yer heid ya numpty,ye dinnae ken whit yer talkin aboot.


  • waygo0k
  • The Legend

    • 3825

    • September 27, 2011, 11:51:01 am
    • Chungnam
Re: Anyone have any issues with your GF/BF's parents?
« Reply #22 on: September 30, 2015, 12:27:34 pm »
Small suggestion.

Try and get the crazy mother involved in something like a church to take up her free time. the less time she has to bother her daughter, the better.

That would make things 100X worse.

Churches here are stages where people get to show off their wealth and social status. Seeing other ajummas show off their successful offspring and sons/daughters-in-law would only drive her to take more extreme measures to get rid of OP.

Not only that...church ajummas act as an arranged dating/marriage network. You can bet your balls the moment she complains about OP not being good enough for her dentist daughter, desperate ajummas with chaebol (or government)-employed sons/nephews etc will be queuing up to set them up on dates...followed by a shotgun wedding and a baby or 2 within 18-24 months.


  • Epistemology
  • Hero of Waygookistan

    • 1904

    • September 19, 2010, 01:57:27 pm
    more
Re: Anyone have any issues with your GF/BF's parents?
« Reply #23 on: September 30, 2015, 12:42:58 pm »
Small suggestion.

Try and get the crazy mother involved in something like a church to take up her free time. the less time she has to bother her daughter, the better.

That would make things 100X worse.

Churches here are stages where people get to show off their wealth and social status. Seeing other ajummas show off their successful offspring and sons/daughters-in-law would only drive her to take more extreme measures to get rid of OP.

Not only that...church ajummas act as an arranged dating/marriage network. You can bet your balls the moment she complains about OP not being good enough for her dentist daughter, desperate ajummas with chaebol (or government)-employed sons/nephews etc will be queuing up to set them up on dates...followed by a shotgun wedding and a baby or 2 within 18-24 months.

Depends on the church! They could always hook her up with Lee Man Hees fruity cult. That'd at least get her out of the way!
Away an bile yer heid ya numpty,ye dinnae ken whit yer talkin aboot.


  • Savant
  • Hero of Waygookistan

    • 1929

    • April 07, 2012, 11:35:31 pm
Re: Anyone have any issues with your GF/BF's parents?
« Reply #24 on: September 30, 2015, 01:14:16 pm »
This tale sounds like the plot to a bad K-drama and like all K-dramas the story rarely gets better after the first episode.

It's clear that you care for your girlfriend but I don't see any scenario where it's possible for you to rescue her unless she breaks off all contact with her family.


Re: Anyone have any issues with your GF/BF's parents?
« Reply #25 on: September 30, 2015, 02:28:24 pm »
OP:

Let me be blunt:

*Your GF is on meds
*You think she has some kind of mental problem
*Your GF gets stressed easily
*She hassles you about your apartment cleanliness, and other things she doesnt like
*She gets stressed about her English
*You say her family is anal
*You have called her mom a loon, and have been told she is a Kunt
*Your GF will have to do some education and pass some exams in your country as a Foreign trained professional if she wishes to practice dentistry(could take years)

You really want this?

If I was sure I would have married her and would not be in this thread asking for advice from people.

In this context, I think "not sure" is the same as "no, I don't want this."

And that's not a failure at all. Is what it is.

Actually, I think the biggest red flag was when you said you have to be careful around your girlfriend, like not to upset her... If I ever felt I had to tiptoe, I'd talk to the person about it immediately. Depending on their reaction, I'd stay or go.


  • donuts81
  • Hero of Waygookistan

    • 1364

    • October 20, 2010, 10:23:37 am
    • Korea
Re: Anyone have any issues with your GF/BF's parents?
« Reply #26 on: September 30, 2015, 03:08:25 pm »
If it was just a crazy mom you might be able to work around it, but it sounds like your GF has some issues of her own. To be fair to the mom though it's extremely common for parents to veto a BF/GF purely on financial prospects.

If you're dead set, you could try taking your GF back home for a month in between contracts  to see how she copes away from her family. Alternatively you could try living together first (good luck getting the family to go along with that).

Issues never go away because of marriage. If you are having issues now you will have issues later.
"You can't hurt me now, Mr Lee. I've lost all feeling"


  • waygo0k
  • The Legend

    • 3825

    • September 27, 2011, 11:51:01 am
    • Chungnam
Re: Anyone have any issues with your GF/BF's parents?
« Reply #27 on: September 30, 2015, 03:12:02 pm »


Well my girlfriend is a dentist and she makes good money. I plan on opening up my own business some day. I most definitely don't want to work this kind of job for the rest of my life. I'm doing this because I can save quite a bit of money and pay down some student loans that I have. Once I get that paid off I want to save cor opening up some kind of business in 10-15 years. Money is not a problem for the life that me and my gf want to live, a simple life.

 The family is a bit OCD. My gf suffers from depression and is on medication. When her sister found her medication she scolded my gf and told her to get off her meds ( she is a pharmacist mind you! ). My gf also told me that her brother in law will wash dishes for 3 hours because he is so obsessed with germs. Her mom, brother in law and sister all share a house together so her mom is taken care of already. But I get the vibe from my girlfriend that they are all super anal and OCD.

My girlfirends mother is a bit of a control freak. I always tell my gf that she should go visit her mom but she says that her mom causes her too much stress because she is so demanding and controlling. My gf says that she is fine with moving to another country with me some day. I have no desire to change her moms mind about me. It's not worth the effort.

Honestly...cut off all ties ASAP!

A family with mental issues in Korea?!?! Heck no.

You might love your girlfriend very much, but have you considered why this family has such a prevalence of mental issues? The mother has stressed her children to the point where they have broken and have started to show symptoms of PTSD.

How will you ensure this won't happen to your children (not genetically, but through he torture their mother and grandmother would pass them through).

Save yourself and your future children the stress.


Re: Anyone have any issues with your GF/BF's parents?
« Reply #28 on: September 30, 2015, 04:40:49 pm »
A family with mental issues in Korea?!?! Heck no.

but ... this is pretty much every single family in the entire country  :P


  • iseya
  • Expert Waygook

    • 704

    • February 15, 2012, 06:14:49 pm
    • USA
Re: Anyone have any issues with your GF/BF's parents?
« Reply #29 on: September 30, 2015, 04:59:18 pm »
OP:

Let me be blunt:

*Your GF is on meds
*You think she has some kind of mental problem
*Your GF gets stressed easily
*She hassles you about your apartment cleanliness, and other things she doesnt like
*She gets stressed about her English
*You say her family is anal
*You have called her mom a loon, and have been told she is a Kunt
*Your GF will have to do some education and pass some exams in your country as a Foreign trained professional if she wishes to practice dentistry(could take years)

You really want this?

If I was sure I would have married her and would not be in this thread asking for advice from people.

In this context, I think "not sure" is the same as "no, I don't want this."

And that's not a failure at all. Is what it is.

Actually, I think the biggest red flag was when you said you have to be careful around your girlfriend, like not to upset her... If I ever felt I had to tiptoe, I'd talk to the person about it immediately. Depending on their reaction, I'd stay or go.

I agree with this a lot. 
If this is a girl you're thinking about a long term future with then you should be able to talk with her about anything---I know that family and cultural things can be touchy subjects, but if a dirty room stresses her out---what happens when real problems come up?

I don't think any ultimatums need to be dropped right now--but, for the sake of not wasting each others time, or getting in any deeper, I'd be straight with her on  my feelings and expectations.
It's not realistic to expect her to completely drop her family, no matter how crazy they are, but I think a frank discussion on what life with you is going to be like needs to be had--and then to make sure that's something she truly understands and still wants. 
She's got a lot to potentially lose, so i would understand her indecision about it all.


Re: Anyone have any issues with your GF/BF's parents?
« Reply #30 on: September 30, 2015, 05:42:46 pm »
This woman must be smokin' hot.  To put up with all of this, she better look like Lee Hyori.  Plus, why do you keep saying "I only make 2 milly bla bla"  You can make more than that if you work and hustle just teaching English on a F Visa.  Learn Korean and stay motivated, it's simple to make over 3 milly, 4-5 is doable without wanting to strangle a kitten bc of stress.  My advice, get out now bc you will never please this type of mother and as Waygook said, your gf might get introduced to mister samsung, LG, doctor, or someone with 50X as much status as you and she will drop you like a bar a soap at the Hamilton Spa.  Especially bc she is not even in a normal state of mind being drugged up for depression and anxiety. 


Re: Anyone have any issues with your GF/BF's parents?
« Reply #31 on: September 30, 2015, 05:44:58 pm »
This woman must be smokin' hot.  To put up with all of this, she better look like Lee Hyori.  Plus, why do you keep saying "I only make 2 milly bla bla"  You can make more than that if you work and hustle just teaching English on a F Visa.  Learn Korean and stay motivated, it's simple to make over 3 milly, 4-5 is doable without wanting to strangle a kitten bc of stress.  My advice, get out now bc you will never please this type of mother and as Waygook said, your gf might get introduced to mister samsung, LG, doctor, or someone with 50X as much status as you and she will drop you like a bar a soap at the Hamilton Spa.  Especially bc she is not even in a normal state of mind being drugged up for depression and anxiety.

nutty women are more fun.  :wink:


Re: Anyone have any issues with your GF/BF's parents?
« Reply #32 on: September 30, 2015, 05:58:15 pm »
OP, aren't you the guy that asked for dating advice a few months ago, then that thread degenerated into you saying you had booked a holiday to Cebu and wanted to know how easily it would be to "get action"?

Anyway, with your wonderful track record I'm sure things will just work out fine (again)!! Good luck!


Re: Anyone have any issues with your GF/BF's parents?
« Reply #33 on: September 30, 2015, 06:18:31 pm »
OP, aren't you the guy that asked for dating advice a few months ago, then that thread degenerated into you saying you had booked a holiday to Cebu and wanted to know how easily it would be to "get action"?

Anyway, with your wonderful track record I'm sure things will just work out fine (again)!! Good luck!

lol.  here is the post for the lazy:

http://www.waygook.org/index.php/topic,88457.msg555533.html#msg555533

I guess they got back together after his sexy time visit to Cebu.


  • nomadicmadda
  • Hero of Waygookistan

    • 1585

    • July 01, 2014, 06:49:40 am
    • Seoul, formerly Boseong
    more
Re: Anyone have any issues with your GF/BF's parents?
« Reply #34 on: September 30, 2015, 06:34:30 pm »
OP, aren't you the guy that asked for dating advice a few months ago, then that thread degenerated into you saying you had booked a holiday to Cebu and wanted to know how easily it would be to "get action"?

Anyway, with your wonderful track record I'm sure things will just work out fine (again)!! Good luck!

 :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
Oh my god, I completely forgot about that, and I think you're right.  The entire thing reeks of the same level of immaturity.

If I was sure I would have married her and would not be in this thread asking for advice from people.

In this context, I think "not sure" is the same as "no, I don't want this."

And that's not a failure at all. Is what it is.

Actually, I think the biggest red flag was when you said you have to be careful around your girlfriend, like not to upset her... If I ever felt I had to tiptoe, I'd talk to the person about it immediately. Depending on their reaction, I'd stay or go.

I agree with this a lot. 
If this is a girl you're thinking about a long term future with then you should be able to talk with her about anything---I know that family and cultural things can be touchy subjects, but if a dirty room stresses her out---what happens when real problems come up?

I don't think any ultimatums need to be dropped right now--but, for the sake of not wasting each others time, or getting in any deeper, I'd be straight with her on  my feelings and expectations.
It's not realistic to expect her to completely drop her family, no matter how crazy they are, but I think a frank discussion on what life with you is going to be like needs to be had--and then to make sure that's something she truly understands and still wants. 
She's got a lot to potentially lose, so i would understand her indecision about it all.

This is the difference between a mature, adult relationship and infatuation or sexual attraction.  The older you get, the less you waste your time--not only for your own sake, but out of respect for your partner and his/her time and feelings. 

It's always easier to break up with someone when they cheated on you or are an asshole or treat you poorly.  It's much more difficult to look at it as unbiased a possible and say, "I care about this person immensely, but we just aren't right for each other and our lives are heading down different paths," and end things amicably.  But hey.  Some people will never be capable of that thought process, and prefer to continue rolling around in bed with that person because it's "comfortable" all while whining about their unsolvable problems to the internet over and over.

It's up to you to decide where exactly your relationship falls on that spectrum of working and worth fighting for/not working and continuing to endlessly suck, and how you're going to handle it, OP.


  • Savant
  • Hero of Waygookistan

    • 1929

    • April 07, 2012, 11:35:31 pm
Re: Anyone have any issues with your GF/BF's parents?
« Reply #35 on: September 30, 2015, 07:21:33 pm »
OP, aren't you the guy that asked for dating advice a few months ago, then that thread degenerated into you saying you had booked a holiday to Cebu and wanted to know how easily it would be to "get action"?

Anyway, with your wonderful track record I'm sure things will just work out fine (again)!! Good luck!

lol.  here is the post for the lazy:

http://www.waygook.org/index.php/topic,88457.msg555533.html#msg555533

I guess they got back together after his sexy time visit to Cebu.

I think the OPs been given enough advice in both threads.
« Last Edit: September 30, 2015, 09:23:38 pm by Savant »


Re: Anyone have any issues with your GF/BF's parents?
« Reply #36 on: September 30, 2015, 08:36:43 pm »
This woman must be smokin' hot.  To put up with all of this, she better look like Lee Hyori.  Plus, why do you keep saying "I only make 2 milly bla bla"  You can make more than that if you work and hustle just teaching English on a F Visa.  Learn Korean and stay motivated, it's simple to make over 3 milly, 4-5 is doable without wanting to strangle a kitten bc of stress.  My advice, get out now bc you will never please this type of mother and as Waygook said, your gf might get introduced to mister samsung, LG, doctor, or someone with 50X as much status as you and she will drop you like a bar a soap at the Hamilton Spa.  Especially bc she is not even in a normal state of mind being drugged up for depression and anxiety.

No idea who Lee Hori is, but I will google her for " research " purposes.


Re: Anyone have any issues with your GF/BF's parents?
« Reply #37 on: September 30, 2015, 08:44:44 pm »
This woman must be smokin' hot.  To put up with all of this, she better look like Lee Hyori.  Plus, why do you keep saying "I only make 2 milly bla bla"  You can make more than that if you work and hustle just teaching English on a F Visa.  Learn Korean and stay motivated, it's simple to make over 3 milly, 4-5 is doable without wanting to strangle a kitten bc of stress.  My advice, get out now bc you will never please this type of mother and as Waygook said, your gf might get introduced to mister samsung, LG, doctor, or someone with 50X as much status as you and she will drop you like a bar a soap at the Hamilton Spa.  Especially bc she is not even in a normal state of mind being drugged up for depression and anxiety.

nutty women are more fun.  :wink:

Truer words never spoken.


  • madison79
  • Hero of Waygookistan

    • 1372

    • October 19, 2010, 01:26:04 pm
    • Interweb
Re: Anyone have any issues with your GF/BF's parents?
« Reply #38 on: September 30, 2015, 10:21:40 pm »
It isn't her or her mom I would worry about.  It's the culture here in Korea that is the driving force.  Even the most well adjust person is going to be warped by the never ending media, tv shows, magazines and more about materialism. 
It's -ev to deal with some people.


Re: Anyone have any issues with your GF/BF's parents?
« Reply #39 on: September 30, 2015, 10:53:00 pm »
This woman must be smokin' hot.  To put up with all of this, she better look like Lee Hyori.  Plus, why do you keep saying "I only make 2 milly bla bla"  You can make more than that if you work and hustle just teaching English on a F Visa.  Learn Korean and stay motivated, it's simple to make over 3 milly, 4-5 is doable without wanting to strangle a kitten bc of stress.  My advice, get out now bc you will never please this type of mother and as Waygook said, your gf might get introduced to mister samsung, LG, doctor, or someone with 50X as much status as you and she will drop you like a bar a soap at the Hamilton Spa.  Especially bc she
is not even in a normal state of mind being drugged up for depression and anxiety.

nutty women are more fun.  :wink:

Truer words never spoken.


I really don't get this at all. Are you having a laugh or have you watched movies like Betty Blue and My Sassy girl and actually thought 'yeah, I'd like to go through that'? Nutty women might be Ok to pursue for a while if they're hot enough but I can't think of anything an attractive nutter would bring to the table than an attractive sane girl wouldn't. Are you yourselves actually like a lot of young women who get off on conflict and high drama?

Of course it goes without saying a sane guy should run a mile from a girl who displays even the slightest hint of nutterdom as far as marriage is concerned. You can virtually guarantee that kind of flaw will magnify itself ten times over after you've got hitched.
« Last Edit: September 30, 2015, 11:02:19 pm by eggieguffer »