Things Koreans do that irks us

If random work people are wondering about "why" you are sick, this is the perfect time to disgust then with tales of vomiting and diarrhea. Tell them you got sick from a communal side-dishes, go into detail about what side dishes you eat, where you eat. The times of the pains, then the vomiting, how you had to run to the bathroom, how you couldn't even keep down a piece of dry toast. Too much information is often a useful tactic. Also, with such a in-depth and gross story nobody could suspect you of lying.

"No one washes their hands after going to the bathroom."
"No one uses toilet paper."
"The kids are covered in snot 24 hours a day, all 4 glorious seasons."

How much do you weigh?

Not too fussed when the kids ask me. I usually just say 1,000,000 Kilograms and they laugh and move on.
But when adults ask me it really pisses me off. Obviously they are asking cos I'm overweight and look like Godzilla compared to most folk. What are they aiming to achieve by asking me 'how much do you weigh?'
Like there is no outcome that ends well here. If I say x then they are gonna follow it up with 'you need to go on a diet' or the crowd favourite 'you would look handsome if you lost some weight'. It's a weighted question and it really tips me over the edge.

In Korean I get asked "Does he bite?" almost every effin day. They are referring to my dog, of course. I started saying yes. Who cares? Don't come near him, either way.

Another that annoys me is when I go out to eat with Korean friends or co-workers to a restaurant we've been to before and I order the same thing as before and they ask "Oh, you like bibbimbap?" or "Do you know ________(dish)?" Yes, I do, I ate it with you a week ago.

Do you have a religion?

"do you like kimchi"
"do you have a boyfriend"
"Why are you not black" --> in reponse to me telling them I'm from South Africa

In Korean I get asked "Does he bite?" almost every effin day. They are referring to my dog, of course. I started saying yes. Who cares? Don't come near him, either way.

Another that annoys me is when I go out to eat with Korean friends or co-workers to a restaurant we've been to before and I order the same thing as before and they ask "Oh, you like bibbimbap?" or "Do you know ________(dish)?" Yes, I do, I ate it with you a week ago.

Do you have a religion?

Yes, I am a member of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Want to come to a service, we get free pasta?

How much do you weigh?

Not too fussed when the kids ask me. I usually just say 1,000,000 Kilograms and they laugh and move on.
But when adults ask me it really pisses me off. Obviously they are asking cos I'm overweight and look like Godzilla compared to most folk. What are they aiming to achieve by asking me 'how much do you weigh?'
Like there is no outcome that ends well here. If I say x then they are gonna follow it up with 'you need to go on a diet' or the crowd favourite 'you would look handsome if you lost some weight'. It's a weighted question and it really tips me over the edge.

One summer I went home for three months between two different contracts at the same hagwon. At home I lost about 25 pounds. When I came back all of my friends and most of my coworkers congratulated me. Even students noted my weight loss. But my favorite coworker (up until then) told me "I like the old you better."  That's probably the cruelest thing any person (Korean or otherwise) has ever said to me.

Can you cook?/Do you know how to cook?
Why don't you [already] know [how to speak] Korean [fluently]?/How come you can't [already] speak Korean [fluently]? (shortly after I first started working in Korea)
Oh, you like kimchi? (in a very surprised tone of voice)
Why don't you change your hairstyle?
What is your blood type?

Also, pretty much any question that clumps all foreigners together in a weird assumption that is, more often than not, off (e.g. "Why do all foreigners ____?"). Two that come to mind that I've been asked by two different former co-teachers on two different occasions in the past are "Why do all foreigners never brush their teeth after eating lunch?" and "Are all foreigners vegetarians?"

Can you cook?/Do you know how to cook?
Why don't you [already] know [how to speak] Korean [fluently]?/How come you can't [already] speak Korean [fluently]? (shortly after I first started working in Korea)
Oh, you like kimchi? (in a very surprised tone of voice)
Why don't you change your hairstyle?
What is your blood type?

Also, pretty much any question that clumps all foreigners together in a weird assumption that is, more often than not, off (e.g. "Why do all foreigners ____?"). Two that come to mind that I've been asked by two different former co-teachers on two different occasions in the past are "Why do all foreigners never brush their teeth after eating lunch?" and "Are all foreigners vegetarians?"

"Why are all foreigners afraid of spiders?"
"Why do all foreigners like Starbucks?" (Although that one might be legit- my mom always goes to Starbucks when she travels to a country where strong coffee isn't the norm because she feels like she knows what to expect.)
"Why do all foreigners hate the jjimjilbang?"

"do you like kimchi"
"do you have a boyfriend"
"Why are you not black" --> in reponse to me telling them I'm from South Africa

 

I don't think any question annoys me as they're just questions. Sure, asking about whether or not I can tolerate spicy food, if I like Kimchi, my age, my religion, if I'm solo or not gets repetitive and old. But it's the first time they've asked it so I don't mind.

I don't think any question annoys me as they're just questions.

Well, when we lived outside of Seoul and my wife was alone, she would get asked, "Russian?" on a regular basis.

I can tell you, that THAT is not just "a question" to my wife or from them.

It is asking, "Are you a whore?"

"Teacher, you are so beautiful! So why don't you have boyfriend?"

Can you cook?/Do you know how to cook?
Why don't you [already] know [how to speak] Korean [fluently]?/How come you can't [already] speak Korean [fluently]? (shortly after I first started working in Korea)
Oh, you like kimchi? (in a very surprised tone of voice)
Why don't you change your hairstyle?
What is your blood type?

Also, pretty much any question that clumps all foreigners together in a weird assumption that is, more often than not, off (e.g. "Why do all foreigners ____?"). Two that come to mind that I've been asked by two different former co-teachers on two different occasions in the past are "Why do all foreigners never brush their teeth after eating lunch?" and "Are all foreigners vegetarians?"

I always answer 'I dunno' to this question and the looks on peoples faces are priceless. Try it.

"Was it funny?"

I dunno why Koreans (students and even adults) get the words "funny"and, I assume "interesting", mixed up.
For example, I tell them about this awesome horror movie, then they respond with "was it funny?"

Can you cook?/Do you know how to cook?
Why don't you [already] know [how to speak] Korean [fluently]?/How come you can't [already] speak Korean [fluently]? (shortly after I first started working in Korea)
Oh, you like kimchi? (in a very surprised tone of voice)
Why don't you change your hairstyle?
What is your blood type?

Also, pretty much any question that clumps all foreigners together in a weird assumption that is, more often than not, off (e.g. "Why do all foreigners ____?"). Two that come to mind that I've been asked by two different former co-teachers on two different occasions in the past are "Why do all foreigners never brush their teeth after eating lunch?" and "Are all foreigners vegetarians?"

I always answer 'I dunno' to this question and the looks on peoples faces are priceless. Try it.

I genuinely don't know, and when they realize I'm not joking - like you said, priceless.

I get the questions about how much Korean I can speak from my family, too, not just Koreans.

"Why don't you have a baby?"
"When are you going to have a baby?"
"Where is your baby?"
"Doesn't your husband want a baby?"
"Is there something wrong with your health? You don't have any children..."

SHUT UP.
SHUT UP.
SHUT UP.

I don't care what the sociocultural mores are here. This is a ****** rude question and I won't answer it anymore. My school's former gym teacher used to sit across from me at lunch and grill me in rapid-fire, loud Korean about why I wasn't giving my husband children. He even pointed at my stomach with his chopsticks one day and went "Balli balli!! BALLI BALLI!!!"

I just smiled and told him (through my CT) that I would have a baby as soon as he paid for a nice, big apartment.

I know it meant to be caring or whatever. I don't care. I've been at my school for a year and a half and they are still asking me about it every goddamn day. It's not like I'm approaching menopause and it's a time-sensitive issue, either.

This is incredibly annoying to me.

I have a boyfriend back home, and people are asking me when I'm going to marry him and have babies. When I told them that I'll likely never get married (having that piece of paper isn't important to me) and that I was never having children, you'd think I'd taken off my pants and exposed myself to the entire school.

"But children bring joy! Every woman wants marriage and children!"

...Well, no.

Definitely the, "Do you know [insert something that literally EVERYONE knows about]?"

Examples:

"Do you know apples?"

"Do you know 3D movies?"

"Do you know Samsung?"

"Do you know kimchi?"  (Okay.... maybe not EVERYONE knows this.... but we're in Korea...)

What is your blood type?

Of all the questions mentioned in this thread, if I could snap my fingers and make one disappear in a puff of logic, it'd be this one. I personally find it inoffensive, but knowing the history behind this particular meme makes the very question rather tragic.

'Do you want a fork?' in hangul obviously, but this question really gets on my nerves these days. Do they think using chopsticks is hard or something?

'Do you want a fork?' in hangul obviously, but this question really gets on my nerves these days. Do they think using chopsticks is hard or something?

I prefer the question to just being a.) given the "you're a foreigner" look and b.) being given a fork in lieu of chopsticks.  At least the question is more polite than making the assumption that I'm too stupid or uncoordinated to operate chopsticks.  Granted, the uncoordinated part is sometime true.... of both chopsticks AND forks.  But that's more of a personal problem.  :-P