Things Koreans do that irks us

Yep. Fine line between genuine curiosity and coming from a point of condescension. I've done my fair share of grimacing and saying "No, we enjoy spicy food in America too. Please give me back my food. No, I don't need a fork to eat this samgyeopsal."

But after a few years -- after the newbie moonbeams have worn off -- it's plain to see that many people are just sounding out their ridiculous assumptions about foreigners, and it's always a negative assumption. It's in the same vein as when people who've never once been to China will offer up a full description of how dirty it is or how dangerous Japan is now (it's a radioactive hole in the ground, you know).

I generally avoid talking to people who say stuff like the food is too spicy, etc., because I don't want to go 10 rounds with someone who's looking for something I can't do or understand. Sorry, but I'm not keen on always having to prove myself and my race and my nation and my culture against people who feel like everything is a zero-sum struggle -- "But but but...if you can eat spicy food, then Korean food is not special! Why do you hate Korea?!"

For me every time it starts with someone approaching me, speaking to me in Korean and then:

Oh you're not Korean?
Oh you're Chinese?
Are you sure you're Chinese?
Do you not speak Korean?
Where are you really from?
Oh do you have to join the Army in America?
It's not mandatory? Why not?
Why won't you join?

'Do you want a fork?' in hangul obviously, but this question really gets on my nerves these days. Do they think using chopsticks is hard or something?

I prefer the question to just being a.) given the "you're a foreigner" look and b.) being given a fork in lieu of chopsticks.  At least the question is more polite than making the assumption that I'm too stupid or uncoordinated to operate chopsticks.  Granted, the uncoordinated part is sometime true.... of both chopsticks AND forks.  But that's more of a personal problem.  :-P

Because when I worked at a restaurant in America I asked all the Asian international students if they wanted chopsticks. It's annoying any time you're treated differently for being a foreigner. Give me what I ordered (whether you think it's too spicy or not), speak to me in Korean, and give me chopsticks if that's what the meal uses.

'Do you want a fork?' in hangul obviously, but this question really gets on my nerves these days. Do they think using chopsticks is hard or something?

Hangul is the written language. Hagukeo/ Hangukmal is the spoken language. Since the rest of your paragraph is in alphabet you can just say "Korean." I mean English--now you got me saying it!

Hey I see foreigners, they must be your friends right?  Even though I'm a Korean American, some Korean friends assume I must know them.  I just respond "hey look there are some Koreans, you must know them too, right?

I don't think any question annoys me as they're just questions.

Well, when we lived outside of Seoul and my wife was alone, she would get asked, "Russian?" on a regular basis.

I can tell you, that THAT is not just "a question" to my wife or from them.

It is asking, "Are you a whore?"

Of course, and that's just being rude and uncultured.

I always answer 'I dunno' to this question and the looks on peoples faces are priceless. Try it.

I genuinely don't know, and when they realize I'm not joking - like you said, priceless.

I get the questions about how much Korean I can speak from my family, too, not just Koreans.

Yeah, for most of my life, I didn't know my blood type, either, so for a long time I could honestly answer "I don't know," and it would have been the truth. I finally got my blood type confirmed during a health check-up a few years ago, so I finally do know it, but I still don't answer/tell them when I've gotten asked that question since then. I just ask "Why?" and then explain to them that it's not something people in the West usually talk about candidly/casually, and then the Korean person who asked usually backs off and doesn't push the topic further. 

And yeah, I also get asked by family back home things like, "So you're fluent in Korean now, right?/You must speak Korean fluently now, right?" But as I mentioned before, Koreans here in Korea were asking me (when I first started working here) why I didn't already know/learn Korean to the point of fluency back when I was growing up in my home country (right, because Korean is commonly taught as a foreign language in grade schools in English-speaking countries...). 

The fork issue isn't a big deal. I prefer it and appreciate it.

"Why don't you have a baby?"
"When are you going to have a baby?"
"Where is your baby?"
"Doesn't your husband want a baby?"
"Is there something wrong with your health? You don't have any children..."

SHUT UP.
SHUT UP.
SHUT UP.

I don't care what the sociocultural mores are here. This is a ****** rude question and I won't answer it anymore. My school's former gym teacher used to sit across from me at lunch and grill me in rapid-fire, loud Korean about why I wasn't giving my husband children. He even pointed at my stomach with his chopsticks one day and went "Balli balli!! BALLI BALLI!!!"

I just smiled and told him (through my CT) that I would have a baby as soon as he paid for a nice, big apartment.

I know it meant to be caring or whatever. I don't care. I've been at my school for a year and a half and they are still asking me about it every goddamn day. It's not like I'm approaching menopause and it's a time-sensitive issue, either.

This is incredibly annoying to me.

I have a boyfriend back home, and people are asking me when I'm going to marry him and have babies. When I told them that I'll likely never get married (having that piece of paper isn't important to me) and that I was never having children, you'd think I'd taken off my pants and exposed myself to the entire school.

"But children bring joy! Every woman wants marriage and children!"

...Well, no.

No joke, happened to me two weeks ago after one of my coworkers was away for her honeymoon.

"WaygookRAWR, when are you getting married?"
Um, I think I should concentrate on being successful at dating first.
"Are you going to get married to a Korean, or an American?"
I don't know. Never really thought about it that specifically.
"When do you plan to get married?"
I don't.
"But...don't you want children?"
If I decide to, I'm not sure marriage is absolutely necessary.
".....what?!"

I suppose this is the first time they had heard that response. They looked at me as if I had just headbutted the King Sejong on Dokdo while screaming "Takeshima!"

I very rarely have interactions with Koreans outside of strictly professional communication, this includes coworkers and folks who work in grocery stores or markets.

I skip the school lunch more often than not because I don't like Korean food. I haven't been to a Korean restaurant in years.

So being asked questions that bother me doesn't really enter into my day to day life. What does really bother me, however, is getting stared at and getting bumped into. I can totally understand little ones, no problems at all with them. It's grown adults staring at me like I'm an alien from another galaxy or walking into me that sends me around the bend.

I've done two things to help solve this problem. I'm a reasonably big guy and I live in a small rural town. I have taken to walking around like Jax from "The Sons of Anarchy", swinging from side to side in his style. I do not move aside. I have also learned how to say "What are you staring at" in Korean, in the most ignorant way possible. A co-teacher taught me. He lived in the USA for a couple of years and he now understands the staring thing and it bothers him too.

I gotta admit. People tend to get out of my way and the staring has really been cut down to a minimum. Almost exclusively little ones, and that's fine.

I like the crazy over personal questions from Koreans because it gives me a chance to give crazy answers. I know most people find these qusetions way to personal. If they are a stranger an ask say " Are you married" I would give the answer "just divorced for the 5th time" " you know where single women hang out at round here?"
If I know them at all I give them the truth
It's fun for me 

I don't think any question annoys me as they're just questions.

Well, when we lived outside of Seoul and my wife was alone, she would get asked, "Russian?" on a regular basis.

I can tell you, that THAT is not just "a question" to my wife or from them.

It is asking, "Are you a whore?"

Of course, and that's just being rude and uncultured.

I still get this question on a nearly weekly basis.  I have lived in my village over two years.  Males, females, pharmacists, grocery store clerks all ask me.  At the bus stop while talking to my students I get approached and sometimes they will then proceed to keep pushing 'but I am a kind man, you Russian.  Talk to me'  those students are now familiar with the word A**hole... 
I live across from a K-military instillation in a village up north but my school can't understand why I am not renewing.

Du yu leobu Jijyasu?

So tired of that.

"Why don't you have a baby?"
"When are you going to have a baby?"
"Where is your baby?"
"Doesn't your husband want a baby?"
"Is there something wrong with your health? You don't have any children..."

SHUT UP.
SHUT UP.
SHUT UP.

I don't care what the sociocultural mores are here. This is a ****** rude question and I won't answer it anymore. My school's former gym teacher used to sit across from me at lunch and grill me in rapid-fire, loud Korean about why I wasn't giving my husband children. He even pointed at my stomach with his chopsticks one day and went "Balli balli!! BALLI BALLI!!!"

I just smiled and told him (through my CT) that I would have a baby as soon as he paid for a nice, big apartment.

I know it meant to be caring or whatever. I don't care. I've been at my school for a year and a half and they are still asking me about it every goddamn day. It's not like I'm approaching menopause and it's a time-sensitive issue, either.

This is incredibly annoying to me.

I have a boyfriend back home, and people are asking me when I'm going to marry him and have babies. When I told them that I'll likely never get married (having that piece of paper isn't important to me) and that I was never having children, you'd think I'd taken off my pants and exposed myself to the entire school.

"But children bring joy! Every woman wants marriage and children!"

...Well, no.

No joke, happened to me two weeks ago after one of my coworkers was away for her honeymoon.

"WaygookRAWR, when are you getting married?"
Um, I think I should concentrate on being successful at dating first.
"Are you going to get married to a Korean, or an American?"
I don't know. Never really thought about it that specifically.
"When do you plan to get married?"
I don't.
"But...don't you want children?"
If I decide to, I'm not sure marriage is absolutely necessary.
".....what?!"

I suppose this is the first time they had heard that response. They looked at me as if I had just headbutted the King Sejong on Dokdo while screaming "Takeshima!"

Your last sentence made me laugh out loud.

I'm not even 100% on the idea of having children, but I'm not going to say that, because they'd probably be horrified. It's what I'm SUPPOSED to do.

Last time my CT brought it up, it ended with her saying sadly, "I guess you and [husband] will never have any babies." I laughed and changed the subject.

Du yu leobu Jijyasu?

So tired of that.

Translation: Do you believe in Jesus?

Here are the most annoying questions:

Can I touch your hair? (Annyoing enough if you are black)
Why are you not married?
Why are you so dark?
Do believe in Jesus?

For the second question, I would tell Koreans up front that too many of them are too racist to give their daughters hand to me and that they love white people too much. I would surely tell that especially to Korean Christians.

Here are the most annoying questions:

Can I touch your hair? (Annyoing enough if you are black)
Why are you not married?
Why are you so dark?
Do believe in Jesus?

For the second question, I would tell Koreans up front that too many of them are too racist to give their daughters hand to me and that they love white people too much. I would surely tell that especially to Korean Christians.

You 100% sure that is the reason mate?

"Was it funny?"

I dunno why Koreans (students and even adults) get the words "funny"and, I assume "interesting", mixed up.
For example, I tell them about this awesome horror movie, then they respond with "was it funny?"

I'm going to probably write a lot cause this topic is interesting to me. Feel free to skip over it.

They get it mixed up because the Korean counterparts are not quite as cut and dry as the English words. 옷기다 should mean funny and 재미있다 should mean fun/entertaining. But when I ask how was the movie, I usually hear 재미있다 instead of 웃기다 (They are saying the movie was fun. Sounds right...). But then, after something really funny happens and the entire group is laughing, usually I hear 재미있다 (now they are saying it was funny...). 

Similarly, other words have two English meanings for one Korean word: scared and scary (both 무섭다); look for and find (찾다). I once had a student write "I was finding my book in my room when my mom found it in the kitchen."

I have a similar problem in Korean. I use the word "come" when I should be using "go".

Example:
Wife - 자기야, 이리 와봐 (Honey, come here!)

Me - 온다 (I'm coming.) is wrong
Me - 간다 (I'm going.) is correct

tl;dr Just because a word translates to the "same" word does not mean that word is used the same way.

"Do you like Korean girls?"

Anytime I hear this question, this immediately pops into my head

All the shady questions-
"Do you like the taste of hongeoh? "  I think this might be a vague reference to oral sex.  They always laugh during that.
"Do you want to go to the sauna together?"
"Can you drink more?"
"Kingdom or Scotch Blue?"

I wonder what questions we ask that tick them off?