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Telling off my Co-Ts
« on: October 11, 2012, 02:03:48 pm »
My contract is nearly up, I'm changing to a great Hagwon and have no intention of working in the public school system in Korea for as long as I live; I would like VERY MUCH to give my "wonderful" coworkers (2 of them) some feedback on my last day of work. They know very well how I feel, in fact my main co-teacher and I once sat down to figure how we can work together while also passionately hating each other (this was a real conversation we had).  They have taken great joy in going out of their way to make my life nothing but hell for 3/4 of a year and I feel like I'm entitled to sharing my thoughts about their behavior.

Good plan or terrible plan? It's not very professional but .. so... tempting...


  • zongal2012
  • Veteran

    • 145

    • September 01, 2010, 09:08:26 am
    • Gangwondo
Re: Telling off my Co-Ts
« Reply #1 on: October 11, 2012, 02:11:02 pm »
The problem is it might come back to bite you on the behind.
People talk and a vengeful person might decide to contact your new employer and bad mouth you. (or some other form of  sabotage )
In the end is it worth it?
You will feel good after unloading, but will it change anything?
Since they are actively aware of their behaviour and have not changed their interactions with you, nothing will change.

I would just walk away and forget about them.Shake the dust from your sandals and be happy that you are leaving it all behind.
 

 
« Last Edit: October 11, 2012, 02:12:51 pm by zongal2012 »


  • taeyang
  • Moderator - LVL 4

    • 5513

    • September 08, 2010, 08:35:10 am
    • daejeon
Re: Telling off my Co-Ts
« Reply #2 on: October 11, 2012, 02:12:50 pm »
i mean... if you want to? but will it help you sleep better at night? personally it's not something i'd do.
use google to search the site

site:waygook.org XXXX

replace 'XXXX' with your search term


Re: Telling off my Co-Ts
« Reply #3 on: October 11, 2012, 02:22:26 pm »
Burning bridges can always come back to bite you in the butt.

Although it depends on how long you plan to stay in Korea really.

If there is a chance you may want a reference or some proof of work history from the school, then I would hold back or think of a less obvious way to vent your feelings.


Re: Telling off my Co-Ts
« Reply #4 on: October 11, 2012, 02:24:18 pm »
Yeah this could backfire so easily I'd advise against it.


  • korr
  • Expert Waygook

    • 724

    • July 16, 2009, 12:35:46 pm
Re: Telling off my Co-Ts
« Reply #5 on: October 11, 2012, 02:38:40 pm »
I know exactly how tempting this is, but don't do it, especially if you're planning to stay in Korea. Keep being polite and professional. Word spreads very quickly, so burning bridges is the last thing you want to do.


Re: Telling off my Co-Ts
« Reply #6 on: October 11, 2012, 02:42:32 pm »
I know I shouldn't: I just needed to hear it from someone else.

And YES it would certainly help me sleep at night.


  • kevin76
  • Veteran

    • 234

    • August 28, 2012, 06:35:01 pm
    • South Korea
Re: Telling off my Co-Ts
« Reply #7 on: October 11, 2012, 02:43:36 pm »
Is there a channel of complaints you can use or anyone for that matter who is employed
in Public schools?
It seems to me that the amount of legitimate complaints here should warrant some kind of intervention by the Department of Education. If there isn't then I am surprised because from my own experience and others on this site, a LOT of people are having difficulties and it seems that nothing much is has or is being done about it.
If there is no channel of complaints for teachers surely there should be something set up to address these issues since we are Public School teachers.
Bitching about your co-workers just as you leave would not be a good idea. Leave with your head held high. Don't stoop to their level, what's the point?
I know it would feel great but as the others here have suggested it could backfire on  you. I have read about this on Dave cafe site about people getting fired because someone has said something nasty about them to their employer at a hagwon. So better to just leave and pat yourself on the back for sticking it out!


  • taewon
  • Super Waygook

    • 406

    • July 04, 2012, 12:00:38 pm
    • Seoul
Re: Telling off my Co-Ts
« Reply #8 on: October 11, 2012, 02:45:57 pm »
If yourdead set on unloading then write it down, wait(hard I know) and let em have it when you leave the country-goand just yell 1 inch from face to face you m#^%@$&^@$^F@!%#@#%!#!!!!. I think by then you will not care, but know you always have/had the option. If you do unload let us know how it went. Good luck & congrats on the new job
"One year they asked me to be poster boy - for birth control."
Rodney Dangerfield


  • lectrotek
  • Adventurer

    • 50

    • June 14, 2011, 07:25:51 pm
    • Bupyeong
Re: Telling off my Co-Ts
« Reply #9 on: October 11, 2012, 02:56:11 pm »
you and me both mate. There's barely a day that goes by when the bile that has built up doesn't make want to punch walls on the way home (and I'm the biggest pacifist there is!...or was, till i came here). At such times I almost sadistically run over my final tirade against her as i step out the door in a whoosh of bravado.

The same thing happened this time last year, this time with my loopy hagwon boss who spent a year dishing me out abuse and threatening to fire me for no reason (it's been a very eventful couple of years!) but when the day came, I couldn't do it. It wasn't a matter of losing the balls to do it, it just felt pointless. I was well within my rights to tear into her but it would have solved nothing and I got the feeling that she was spoiling for the fight...something she is very good at and something that I am not.

Today, as I say, I'm constantly churning over things that i'd like to say about my current situation. I think this process is both a help and a hinderance. A catch22. on the one hand it has helped me to believe in myself. My ire is almost righteous. Righteous in the sense that I know that i am right about all this and i can keep my head held high. At times, it's this 'fire' inside (for want of a less melodramatic metaphor!) that has kept me going.

However, on the other hand, to dwell in it is to become bitter and twisted. There is no way that we will be able to communicate the sense of injustice that we feel in a way that'll do any good. Maybe as a short term release, but when the dust settles (for me at any rate) I'd probably feel shit about taking the bait 

To be honest, I have no idea what i'll do on that final day (whenever that is) but i hope it's not something rash.

   



Re: Telling off my Co-Ts
« Reply #10 on: October 11, 2012, 02:59:57 pm »
Get a korean friend to help you write a polite letter of resignation (late I know) in both English and Korean. Politely describe why you cannot work there and why you cannot offer their institution a positive review to other foreigners. Mention the people who gave you trouble and dates/instances/minimum details. Give it to the most senior person you can find, such as the principle as you leave the office for the last time (be sure to have moved out of your apartment and with a new contract signed by this time.

 Put it in a pretty envelope and give it with a box of cookies as; 1 a gift never hurts, 2 he will wait until you leave before opening it, hopefully, 3 it gives you an excuse to visit his office and finally, a gift helps put him in a positive mind.

Make it clear that you are leaving with sadness in your heart as you have found the leadership from the director to be inspiring and the students wonderful (basically don't burn every bridge)
You shouting at your co workers will achieve nothing, you getting them into hot water with the boss...well you wont be around to see it but it will make things uneasy for them, especially if they are not permanent as korean contracts are often not renewed until the last minute in the end of Feb. If the school did not like them much, it may be what they need to push them on. 
« Last Edit: October 11, 2012, 03:02:53 pm by highschool123 »


Re: Telling off my Co-Ts
« Reply #11 on: October 11, 2012, 03:10:39 pm »
That's something I WAS going to do for sure - write a letter and give a copy to the Principal, VP and maybe even the Ministry of education. This one co-teacher has a history of GETs quitting on her and I'm sure she's surprised to see I've made it to the end date. I do NOT want this to seem like she's improving and if I wasn't a stubborn bastard myself I'd have probably quit too. I refuse to be defeated by a pathetic individual who needs to tear others down and verbally abuse 12yr olds to feel a sense of control and power.

I thought about having a little crystal trophy made up for a few dollars with the words "WORST PERSON I'VE EVER MET" engraved on the plate and giving it to her on the last day. It's technically a gift.


Re: Telling off my Co-Ts
« Reply #12 on: October 11, 2012, 03:44:43 pm »
That's something I WAS going to do for sure - write a letter and give a copy to the Principal, VP

Don't do that either. Probably the VP or P, when they get it, would just ask the co-t's in question "hey, what's this about?" thereby giving them the chance to turn someone else against you who may not have otherwise been.

You said these people have made your life hell. Once you've left they'll do that no more, unless you encourage them to.

Your best bet is just to say nothing, get out and forget it. You could offer them a straight faced handshake and thanks for their help to see if it embarrasses them, but I really wouldn't go beyond that.


  • jamasian
  • Super Waygook

    • 275

    • December 05, 2011, 03:02:00 pm
    • Suncheon, S. Korea
Re: Telling off my Co-Ts
« Reply #13 on: October 11, 2012, 04:22:10 pm »
I think you should do that once you're securely in your other job or just before you leave the country. Also send those letters to each administrator that you'd planned to in both English and Korean describing all of the unjust actions that coT had taken. But, again, for that I'd say when you're leaving the country or have a great deal of credibility with other jobs/ people.

You could wait till it's just you two and tell her how horrible she's been. just make sure to record it so that if anything happens you can also catch the cruelness of her. One of my other friends did this when they decided to leave and there's no disputing what's on tape.


  • cassie
  • Veteran

    • 132

    • September 10, 2010, 04:37:58 pm
    • Jeollanamdo
Re: Telling off my Co-Ts
« Reply #14 on: October 11, 2012, 04:53:50 pm »
The person who had my job left my co-teachers a note that said something along the lines of "thanks for nothing - fu" and quit his contract early.
I can't possibly imagine what warranted the note because my school is great, the students are great, the apartment is great, and I've never had any bad interaction with either of my co-teachers.
All of the native speaker teachers I've talked to who know him were appalled at his behavior. They knew about my school and co-teachers and found his behavior completely unwarranted.
When I arrived at the school, I was met with unease and trepidation from all because their image of native speaker teachers had been so badly damaged.

Our situations are different, but I've previously had the devil as a co-teacher and the temptation to tell her what I thought when I changed schools was definitely there, but I didn't do it. After arriving at my new school and seeing the effects, I'm glad I didn't.

Another point that I really think you should consider is that Korea is an extremely small country. Everyone seems to know or be related to everyone else. If this woman hates you as much as you say, she would probably move heaven and earth to do what she could to get revenge, including seeking out your new employer or students' parents, etc. You might be setting yourself up for some repercussions.
If you decide to leave a note, make sure it is 100% objective and factual. Anything you write will be viewed as immature and petty, however. There are some pretty intense defamation laws in Korea you might consider as well.
Unless you are alone with this person during a confrontation, you will look 100% like the bad guy, especially if it is conducted in English. It will give her the perfect opportunity to fuel anything bad she wishes to say about you and other non-Koreans once you're gone. I'm sure the preceeding non-Korean teachers who left early have been dubbed irresponsible, lazy, etc., and little if any of the blame for their resignation was placed upon this teacher. Therefore, I wouldn't worry about it looking like she's improved because you stayed for the full year.

As tempting as it would be to tell her like it is, it's in your personal best interest, and the best interest of the rest of the non-Koreans, to walk out the bigger person. You'll be glad you did.


Re: Telling off my Co-Ts
« Reply #15 on: October 11, 2012, 05:14:18 pm »
I'm really beginning to hate Korea. Someone mistreats you for an entire year under a broken system that has the board tilted in their favor so you can never win and I can't even call them on it. This is a country where the lowers have to smile and say 'yes' to anyone above them, no matter how wrong they are. It's difficult because I grew up in a home where I was taught to never bend over and take it - and it'll be a long time before my *** fully recovers from how badly I've been ******.

And Cassie I've been subjected to a sexist co-teacher who hates men, only punishes the boys in the class and had 3 previous male GETs - all of them quit. She openly told me she prefers female teachers and she was disappointed to learn she'd have to teach with another male. Your school might be great, but you wouldn't like it very much if your teacher hated you for the gender you had. I couldn't help that and I don't blame your previous teacher if he had to put up with what I have.


  • SpaceRook
  • Expert Waygook

    • 814

    • November 18, 2010, 11:54:36 am
    • South Korea
Re: Telling off my Co-Ts
« Reply #16 on: October 11, 2012, 05:32:43 pm »
My contract is nearly up, I'm changing to a great Hagwon and have no intention of working in the public school system in Korea for as long as I live; I would like VERY MUCH to give my "wonderful" coworkers (2 of them) some feedback on my last day of work. They know very well how I feel, in fact my main co-teacher and I once sat down to figure how we can work together while also passionately hating each other (this was a real conversation we had).  They have taken great joy in going out of their way to make my life nothing but hell for 3/4 of a year and I feel like I'm entitled to sharing my thoughts about their behavior.

Good plan or terrible plan? It's not very professional but .. so... tempting...

The best revenge is to live well.  Thank them for the year you spent together and wish them well.  Stewing in their own jealousy and resentnent will be worse than anything you could write.


Re: Telling off my Co-Ts
« Reply #17 on: October 11, 2012, 07:17:26 pm »
Buy a Voice Recorder. I purchased one after just four months in the public school system. My CoTeacher was a nut job who would ramble on about Americans being drug abusing sex criminals. She would constantly throw some racist BS in my face. Refused to give me my over time pay etc etc. What was the final straw for me was her constabt accusation that I was  a drug pusher LOL. She made get tested three times on the third time I submitted the bill to the VP and I mentioned I had been recording my CT she went ballistic and fell on the floor crying. Didnt see her for a month. The intern at my school told me she checked herself into a mental hospital. Apparently she had a long history of Anger management issues. She came back in the 10th month of my contract and we never spoke again until the last day of my employment when she begged me to delete the tape of her psychotic rages.

Ironically this is the woman who vowed to me that I would never get a job in Korea again. I am now happily employed at a University teaching Business English. I will never go back to a public school after my experiences.

In my second job at a highschool in Seoul my CT met me on the first day shook my hand and said here is the blood of Jesus and walked off............

Next day she mentioned to me that she was Helen of Troy............


Re: Telling off my Co-Ts
« Reply #18 on: October 11, 2012, 11:22:11 pm »
WOW. Helen of Troy? O'rly? Ok that is a great story and I've been just waiting for a snap that would lock my co-teacher away for 10 months but sadly I think it will have to happen with my replacement - or the whoever replaces that unlucky soul. I REALLY feel bad for whoever is walking in that school in 2 weeks. You know, last year I was just about to fly across the world, full of hope and happiness and opportunity, ready to dive into a wonderfully different culture and experience Korea to its fullest despite the rumors I'd heard from people who'd done this teaching thing before... Someone just like this will be walking in to a worlddddddd of disappointment as I toss them the keys to this beat-up old lemon.

Yes I did take that job. I cannot wait to begin working there because it will mean the end of the gremlin. Well NYC_gal I'm sure you have a well-rounded understanding of my entire situation now! I must say as much as I struggle with my coworkers I'm happy I've become more involved with the waygook community and I wish I'd found you all sooner!


  • Andyroo
  • Expert Waygook

    • 676

    • February 09, 2011, 12:49:41 pm
    • Korea
Re: Telling off my Co-Ts
« Reply #19 on: October 12, 2012, 07:16:54 am »
Buy a Voice Recorder. I purchased one after just four months in the public school system. My CoTeacher was a nut job who would ramble on about Americans being drug abusing sex criminals. She would constantly throw some racist BS in my face. Refused to give me my over time pay etc etc. What was the final straw for me was her constabt accusation that I was  a drug pusher LOL. She made get tested three times on the third time I submitted the bill to the VP and I mentioned I had been recording my CT she went ballistic and fell on the floor crying. Didnt see her for a month. The intern at my school told me she checked herself into a mental hospital. Apparently she had a long history of Anger management issues. She came back in the 10th month of my contract and we never spoke again until the last day of my employment when she begged me to delete the tape of her psychotic rages.

Ironically this is the woman who vowed to me that I would never get a job in Korea again. I am now happily employed at a University teaching Business English. I will never go back to a public school after my experiences.

In my second job at a highschool in Seoul my CT met me on the first day shook my hand and said here is the blood of Jesus and walked off............

Next day she mentioned to me that she was Helen of Troy............

I know that would have been hell to go through..... but that was a great story :)