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  • gtrain83
  • Hero of Waygookistan

    • 1755

    • August 27, 2011, 10:26:20 am
Re: Korean Relationships -- Saying "Thank You'
« Reply #40 on: May 25, 2012, 07:50:40 am »

I've been seeing my girl for about 6 months now. I'm American. She's Korean. She has traveled, but never lived abroad. After our dates she *never* thanks me for the date. Never says: "Thanks for dinner" or "Thanks for the movie" , etc. 

I've been out with plenty of Korean girls and they never say "thank you". I find it rude and unappealing too, but what are you gonna do?

Raises hand..... Pick me teacher-uh!    STOP DATING KOREAN PRINCESSESS!!!!!    :laugh:

^this

Easy fix...stop putting the pu$$y on a pedestal....Korean or other wise. Are you guys really that scared of being alone or not getting sex that you will allow yourself to be treated with less respect? There are actually women out there who have manners and appreciate things their b/f's do for them.


  • Peekay1982
  • Expert Waygook

    • 613

    • October 04, 2010, 09:12:28 am
    • 부산
Re: Korean Relationships -- Saying "Thank You'
« Reply #41 on: May 25, 2012, 09:21:46 am »
Are you guys really that scared of being alone or not getting sex that you will allow yourself to be treated with less respect?

I have been, yeah. Not fun to admit but it's true. Then finally the sex spell breaks and you're like "what the hell have I been thinking? Goodbye".


  • cosmogony
  • Super Waygook

    • 391

    • November 24, 2010, 07:56:37 pm
    • Busan
Re: Korean Relationships -- Saying "Thank You'
« Reply #42 on: May 25, 2012, 10:30:55 am »
When I was with my partner for two years I was also offended by the lack of thank yous. He explained that to him saying thank you meant that something was done as a transaction, a business deal. According to him, the act of giving or doing something for him should have given me enough pleasure and that a "thank you" wasn't needed. In return, he would show happiness (a smile, or some emotion) nonverbally. I adapted to this eventually and agreed with him. For a while I felt strange saying "thank you" to people and instead smiled or showed a natural reaction (saying thank you is forced, something we're taught).

Maybe this is another perspective, as I was in a gay relationship.
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  • 5mori
  • Adventurer

    • 54

    • May 25, 2012, 09:21:38 am
    • Gunpo
Re: Korean Relationships -- Saying "Thank You'
« Reply #43 on: May 25, 2012, 10:37:15 am »
Apologies if I missed something, but I can't help feeling that essentially the most important information was introduced in page 1 in the thread, but that no one subsequently acknowledged it and/or took it into account.

The point I am referring to is that, while there are a varieties of situations where Koreans use the Korean equivalent of English 'thank you' to show gratitude, meals are not one of them.  In that situation, 'I ate well' means 'thank you'.  (I just think of it as a fairly arbitrary convention, but if one REALLY wanted to, perhaps someone could find a 'Confucian' explanation out there, somewhere...)

My questions and advice for the OP or others in similar situations would be as follows:
We know that your gf is not saying thank you.  However, is she saying something like 'I enjoyed the meal' etc.?

1)  If not, she is rude, as others have suggested.  Say goodbye, DTMFA, etc.
2)  If she is, try to find a point of compromise.  On the one hand, you can accept that the Korean equivalent of thanking someone for a meal is simply 'I ate well', and that in Korea this is directly understood as an expression of gratitude to match this particular situation.  On the other hand, you could take a position like this 'I understand why you think you are being polite, but this could get you into trouble later in life.  I would advise you to start saying 'thank you' after meals because directly translating from Korean isn't necessarily a good way to improve your English, and may in some cases even cause problems in relations with others, etc.'

At the risk of going out on a limb, I'm guessing the women being complained about on this thread are in their early 20's?


Re: Korean Relationships -- Saying "Thank You'
« Reply #44 on: May 25, 2012, 11:05:19 am »
Apologies if I missed something, but I can't help feeling that essentially the most important information was introduced in page 1 in the thread, but that no one subsequently acknowledged it and/or took it into account.

The point I am referring to is that, while there are a varieties of situations where Koreans use the Korean equivalent of English 'thank you' to show gratitude, meals are not one of them.  In that situation, 'I ate well' means 'thank you'.  (I just think of it as a fairly arbitrary convention, but if one REALLY wanted to, perhaps someone could find a 'Confucian' explanation out there, somewhere...)

My questions and advice for the OP or others in similar situations would be as follows:
We know that your gf is not saying thank you.  However, is she saying something like 'I enjoyed the meal' etc.?

1)  If not, she is rude, as others have suggested.  Say goodbye, DTMFA, etc.
2)  If she is, try to find a point of compromise.  On the one hand, you can accept that the Korean equivalent of thanking someone for a meal is simply 'I ate well', and that in Korea this is directly understood as an expression of gratitude to match this particular situation.  On the other hand, you could take a position like this 'I understand why you think you are being polite, but this could get you into trouble later in life.  I would advise you to start saying 'thank you' after meals because directly translating from Korean isn't necessarily a good way to improve your English, and may in some cases even cause problems in relations with others, etc.'

At the risk of going out on a limb, I'm guessing the women being complained about on this thread are in their early 20's?

Agreed. This thread took a pretty severe turn toward the weird and psychologically damaged somewhere around page three.

All cultures have gratitude and displays of gratitude, but the way gratitude is shown does vary from culture to culture. If you can't deal with people not doing things exactly the way your culture deems correct, maybe living outside of your own culture is not for you. I would imagine that would make things quite difficult. However, there are people who are rude in every culture. It has very little to do with the fact that they are from that culture, but rather to do with the fact that some people are rude. And -- I know this is going to be the most mind blowing part -- sometimes people from the same culture disagree about what is rude and what is polite. Sort of like exactly how it is back in your home countries. So every single Korean is not likely to agree, and there may be no straight forward answer. Amazing!

It's all pretty simple. But again, being in a relationship with someone usually means talking things through and coming to your own personal decision of how to handle things together. Which is why I find posting about it on a forum a little odd.

As for all the randoms dropping in and using this excuse to complain about how they've been burned by women and somehow trying to relate this to the fact that all Korean women are this or that, do you not feel like maybe you couldn't find a more appropriate place to have that conversation? This thread is about gratitude in Korean culture. It's not really about how you had a bad date, or got dumped by your girlfriend. 


  • Cereal
  • Hero of Waygookistan

    • 1239

    • March 16, 2011, 12:51:55 pm
    • Earth
    more
Re: Korean Relationships -- Saying "Thank You'
« Reply #45 on: May 29, 2012, 02:10:00 pm »
When you pay, you get a thank you from me.

When I pay I expect the same !
"The urge to destroy is also a creative urge."
Bakunin