Accused of moving here to have sex with Koreans?

Tonight my wife (white American) and I (white American) were with friends, a gay couple (white Canadian men), and we were accused of coming here to have sex with Korean women.  I also keep seeing foreigners in general and English teachers in particular, especially teachers on the E-2 visa, accused of this on various internet forums, even though we seem to be the least likely out of anyone in Korea to date Koreans, with the exception of American military personnel.  Has anyone else noticed this in other forums online, or in real life comments? 

Err...welcome to Korea?

This has been the case for decades. Excellently catalogued here - http://populargusts.blogspot.com/search/label/Xenophobia%20or%20Nationalism

Even if someone came here for that, who cares?

News Flash: People wanna have sex with other people.

Obviously there's creepy "Oh wow, you're Korean, you're so hot. Hi, Noonar. Wow, your Korean eyes are so sexy. Say 'You are handsome' in Korean. kkkkk "

These are known as creeps and they are creepy to ALL women.

Any person of any nation who thinks that women are "their women" and that they are pure and must be defended against dating outsiders is a POS. This road of shitty behaviour and views goes both ways. Koreans who get mad at foreigners for dating "their women" are, dare I say it, even worse than the fetishists.

Wait, there was another reason?

I'll get my coat.

It's nationalism and xenophobia coupled with projection. The type of people who tend to openly accuse strangers of this with no basis for it whatsoever also tend to be the same type of people who go on sex tours in SE Asia and approach random foreign women to ask if they've ever slept with a Korean man before, lol.

"Do you live alone? You Russia? How much?"

I remember this story about an American woman who married a Korean man, and her little sister came to visit one year. Husband took little sister out to buy something, they got approached by another Korean man who kept trying to "buy" the little sister. Who was very obviously still a child, to make it worse. Very same man would probably spit at a passing foreigner for trying to "steal our women."

They're just shitheads. There's literally no rational thought behind it, they're xenophobic/racist asshats who're just using it as an excuse to harass others. Most of them are major hypocrites. Just ignore them.

Outside of that, people here really buy into stereotypes, no matter how ridiculous those stereotypes are. This particular stereotype is one of the more malicious ones (perpetuated by groups known for their xenophobic rhetoric), but, really, there's no end to them. Obviously, it's not everyone, but it is a fact of life for expats here, and you've got to be mindful of it so that you don't get caught off guard later, lol.

It's nationalism and xenophobia coupled with projection. The type of people who tend to openly accuse strangers of this with no basis for it whatsoever also tend to be the same type of people who go on sex tours in SE Asia and approach random foreign women to ask if they've ever slept with a Korean man before, lol.

"Do you live alone? You Russia? How much?"

I remember this story about an American woman who married a Korean man, and her little sister came to visit one year. Husband took little sister out to buy something, they got approached by another Korean man who kept trying to "buy" the little sister. Who was very obviously still a child, to make it worse. Very same man would probably spit at a passing foreigner for trying to "steal our women."

They're just shitheads. There's literally no rational thought behind it, they're xenophobic/racist asshats who're just using it as an excuse to harass others. Most of them are major hypocrites. Just ignore them.

Was the OP not talking about Westerners making this accusation, not Koreans? Actually It's a bit confusing as he said he and his wife were accused of coming here to have sex with Korean women, by two gay guys. Or were the gay guys also accused? Don't know what's going on there.  No offence to you but in my experience by far the demographic that accuses straight, white men of coming to Korea to have sex with Korean women the most,  is straight, white women. Though that could be because I don't hang out with Koreans much.
 

it must the latter, right? but yeah i wasn't sure either

Was the OP not talking about Westerners making this accusation, not Koreans? Actually It's a bit confusing as he said he and his wife were accused of coming here to have sex with Korean women, by two gay guys. Or were the gay guys also accused? Don't know what's going on there.  No offence to you but in my experience by far the demographic that accuses straight, white men of coming to Korea to have sex with Korean women the most,  is straight, white women. Though that could be because I don't hang out with Koreans much.
 

I'm sorry for wording my original post poorly, but our group of four was verbally berated by two Koreans.  I just pointed at my wife and said, "But this is my wife.  She's not even Korean."  I didn't out my friends, especially since we live and work in this neighborhood.  I didn't know what else to tell them.  We were looking at each other puzzled and we really didn't say much.  They sort of caught us off guard.

I had read this online quite a few times, but this is the first time we've experienced something like this in real life.   

A Korean man asked me where I was from and what my job was and then asked THREE times if I "liked" Korean women, if I "dated" Korean women, if I had a Korean "girlfriend". "Yeah, I guess" "Sometimes" and "No".

He was 40-something, that age when Korean men seem to be either your best friend or biggest jerk.

Was the OP not talking about Westerners making this accusation, not Koreans? Actually It's a bit confusing as he said he and his wife were accused of coming here to have sex with Korean women, by two gay guys. Or were the gay guys also accused?

Yeah I'm a bit confused as well.

Was his wife accused of coming here to have sex with Korean women? The gay guys in a bisexual threesome? Are they telling the gay guys they only came here to have sex with Korean men?

This is starting to all sound a bit kinky. Was this an accusation or an invitation? Maybe person was trying to bring OP to one of those swinger clubs.

Yeah, it is such a double standard.  I couldn't care less if Koreans
want to go to my home country and shag everything that moves.
But god forbid a white guy gets lucky with Korean women.

Although, this phenomenon happens most with middle aged Korean
men who have a unfounded sense of entitlement. They perceive
Korean women as their possessions.  I have noticed that the
younger generation are much more cosmopolitan and worldly in
this respect.

Shades of Anti English Spectrum?

https://populargusts.blogspot.com/2017/07/anti-english-spectrum-distributes.html

At least we use to be paid more (with cost of living and inflation factored in) to put up with it.

Let's be clear here though.. The real statement of this thread is that Koreans do not want foreign men dating Korean women.

Most point here tend to only look at racism and xenophobia as the sole reasons. This is fair but a rather simplistic way of looking at things.

A better rationale would be demographics. There just aren't enough Korean women to go around. That isn't the case nowadays with kids. Go to any elementary school and you'll find a fairly even ratio of men to women. Kids born today will not have to go what previous generations are going through today..a lack of resources...with women being the resources.

This isn't the case for someone born in 1990. In 1990 there were 116 boys born for every 100 girls. Fast forward to 2021 and that 31 year old office worker simply can't find a woman. He does everything he can, earns a decent salary, and dresses well, but simply cannot find a wife or even get laid. He is devastated at the prospect of going through life like this.

He goes with friends on a Saturday night outing to Hongdae and what does he see? He sees a skinny white dude with a Korean honey in his arms. One that would not give him the time of day. An hour goes by and he sees two obvious American soldiers, one white, and one black guy walking into a love motel with two Korean female companions. Who knows what sick things will go in there. He heads home, knowing full well that these women would not give him or his friends the time of day.

Of course there is going to be resentment against foreigners. With the deck already stacked against them, even foreigners have swept in and are taking a piece of the pie, which they can simply not access.
Not only will there be resentment, but possible hatred against these foreign "intruders" who are making a hard life even more difficult.

Let's be clear here though.. The real statement of this thread is that Koreans do not want foreign men dating Korean women.

Most point here tend to only look at racism and xenophobia as the sole reasons. This is fair but a rather simplistic way of looking at things.

A better rationale would be demographics. There just aren't enough Korean women to go around. That isn't the case nowadays with kids. Go to any elementary school and you'll find a fairly even ratio of men to women. Kids born today will not have to go what previous generations are going through today..a lack of resources...with women being the resources.

This isn't the case for someone born in 1990. In 1990 there were 116 boys born for every 100 girls. Fast forward to 2021 and that 31 year old office worker simply can't find a woman. He does everything he can, earns a decent salary, and dresses well, but simply cannot find a wife or even get laid. He is devastated at the prospect of going through life like this.

He goes with friends on a Saturday night outing to Hongdae and what does he see? He sees a skinny white dude with a Korean honey in his arms. One that would not give him the time of day. An hour goes by and he sees two obvious American soldiers, one white, and one black guy walking into a love motel with two Korean female companions. Who knows what sick things will go in there. He heads home, knowing full well that these women would not give him or his friends the time of day.

Of course there is going to be resentment against foreigners. With the deck already stacked against them, even foreigners have swept in and are taking a piece of the pie, which they can simply not access.
Not only will there be resentment, but possible hatred against these foreign "intruders" who are making a hard life even more difficult.

On the other hand, due to globalisation/tourism/increase in the numbers of people working here, foreigners no longer have as much as a wow factor for Korean women as they used to. Plus teacher salaries stagnating (thanks hangook 77) means they hold less economic attraction. Meanwhile you've got the hordes of white women teacher and student koreaboos flocking over, all looking for Korean boyfriends. Korean dudes never had it so good. (before Covid anyway)

Shades of Anti English Spectrum?

Does anyone remember that freak Korean man that would follow foreigners
around and spy on them? He wanted it to be his life achievement to catch
a foreigner on drugs or with an underage woman. He ended up never
catching anyone. Loser.

He goes with friends on a Saturday night outing to Hongdae and what does he see? He sees a skinny white dude with a Korean honey in his arms. One that would not give him the time of day. An hour goes by and he sees two obvious American soldiers, one white, and one black guy walking into a love motel with two Korean female companions. Who knows what sick things will go in there. He heads home, knowing full well that these women would not give him or his friends the time of day.

This may be a possible contributing factor, but it certainly isn't an excuse.
These so-called "men" don't own Korean women. This fact is in stark contrast
to when this place was the hermit kingdom.

Let's be clear here though.. The real statement of this thread is that Koreans do not want foreign men dating Korean women.

Most point here tend to only look at racism and xenophobia as the sole reasons. This is fair but a rather simplistic way of looking at things.

A better rationale would be demographics. There just aren't enough Korean women to go around. That isn't the case nowadays with kids. Go to any elementary school and you'll find a fairly even ratio of men to women. Kids born today will not have to go what previous generations are going through today..a lack of resources...with women being the resources.

This isn't the case for someone born in 1990. In 1990 there were 116 boys born for every 100 girls. Fast forward to 2021 and that 31 year old office worker simply can't find a woman. He does everything he can, earns a decent salary, and dresses well, but simply cannot find a wife or even get laid. He is devastated at the prospect of going through life like this.

He goes with friends on a Saturday night outing to Hongdae and what does he see? He sees a skinny white dude with a Korean honey in his arms. One that would not give him the time of day. An hour goes by and he sees two obvious American soldiers, one white, and one black guy walking into a love motel with two Korean female companions. Who knows what sick things will go in there. He heads home, knowing full well that these women would not give him or his friends the time of day.

Of course there is going to be resentment against foreigners. With the deck already stacked against them, even foreigners have swept in and are taking a piece of the pie, which they can simply not access.
Not only will there be resentment, but possible hatred against these foreign "intruders" who are making a hard life even more difficult.

The K government will literally pay him to get his mitts on a poor woman from SE Asia if he feels that entitled to female attention.

Anti-English spectrum is about as relevant today as the gay marriage debate is today in the U.S. I know for old-timers it is somehow a significant event in their lives that these dudes who no one met and were forgotten about after 6 months by the general populace did what they did, but in this day in age the average Korean woman who was of dating age back then is married with kids and you probably aren't trying to date her.

As grimlock said, most of these people were older. They grew up in a time of both income disparity as well as general status, not to mention, that there were, lets just say...less than progressive attitudes racially in the late 70s early 80s and I don't just mean amongst Korean people.

Contrast that to 2021 and things are vastly different. People are more globalized and both Koreans and Westerners are much more progressive and open-minded in their thinking. If anything conditions have somewhat reversed. It seems at least a large percentage of foreign female NETS prefer to date Korean men over other foreigners. Not to mention there are women of other internationalities having Korean male fetishes. The improved economic status of Korea also is a big factor. Any decent-looking Korean guy with a good job can probably do alright on the dating scene. Even those with so-so jobs can still do pretty well. All of this, combined with more enlightened attitudes, has really helped things. It wasn't like 1985. There weren't Korean boy bands traveling to London and being greeted by screaming fans.

One other thing- If you take regular jaunts to SE Asia (or any developing country) for "fun", don't lecture people on viewing women as commodities/possessions. Seriously, paying $20 for sex to someone who has a 40% chance of being trafficked and in a country with widespread endemic poverty, that's not too many steps removed from some pretty shitty practices. Now on the other hand, if you admit the general scuzziness of it and say we all have our vices, more power to you. Hey, plenty of men the world over go and do this and it helps the local economy, so it's not all bad. But spare the finger-wagging while also doing that.

Finally, if you use an Asian porn star as your avatar on a discussion board about living and working in Asia (teaching, no less), don't be shocked when people accuse you of traveling to Asia for sex. I mean that's like being "Just because I have a rainbow flag and two male pictograms DOES NOT make me gay. How dare you assume that!"

These so-called "men" don't own Korean women. This fact is in stark contrast

The K government will literally pay him to get his mitts on a poor woman from SE Asia if he feels that entitled to female attention.

Ladies and gentlemen, the racism and xenophobia of Koreans to international dating.