Read 10834 times

Re: Resigning from Gepik
« Reply #80 on: April 20, 2021, 11:53:15 am »
Guess I'm late to the party.  Glad it worked out, but like others said, never cry.  That was terrible advice.  Koreans see that as a sign of weakness often.  They even berated Park Geun-Hye for crying when the Sewol sank.   

It hasnít worked out. Has it dipped??


  • OnNut81
  • The Legend

    • 2527

    • April 01, 2011, 03:01:41 pm
    • Anyang
Re: Resigning from Gepik
« Reply #81 on: April 20, 2021, 12:09:10 pm »
I was wondering that as well. 


  • hangook77
  • The Legend

    • 4263

    • September 14, 2017, 09:10:12 am
    • Near Busan
Re: Resigning from Gepik
« Reply #82 on: April 20, 2021, 12:30:51 pm »
Iím sorry to hear that youíre going through such a sh****ty situation in your final year teaching here, and after a decade of excellent teaching judging by your great relationships with other co-teachers and renewal for the past 10 years!

Please donít quit! You invested a lot into your teaching career and deserve every last pay cheque and exit allowance and your apartment deposit back!

I agree with the HEART approached mentioned above, and while talking with her using that method audio record every bit of it.  Also when she mentions your problems, empathize with her by saying Iím sorry you feel that way, and the address her not helping out or working with your to fix the problems, and address her inappropriate behavior in class doing nothing, yelling at you, bothering the students... and mention to her that you have been renewed for the past 10 years, which wouldnít have been possible if you were a bad teacher and that you have a wonderful co-teaching experience with the other teachers.

Later, ask her calmly about how the both of you can work together better in the future?

If worst come to worst, tell her calmly.... I donít want to be your enemy. I am a contract teacher like you, we are both vulnerable in this field..We should be supporting each other and not attacking.

Tell her that if she doesnít stop harassing you, you will take this to the hire ups and file complains and also make legal complaints, which you really donít want to do because you understand that she needs this job to support her self.

Tell her that you have nothing to lose (lie a little), tell her you can go back to your home country at anytime or even to go another country easily and have nothing to lose, but she has to stay in Korea and support her self on the salary she makes here and you would feel awful to ruin her chances of working as a teacher.... but will do so if she doesnít leave you alone..

I've seen quite a few foreign teachers get screwed.  The Korean teacher is always right most of the time and they got non renewed.  There was no appeal.  They made nice and sucked up real good though.  But keep playing footsies.  Best of luck.  I get along great with my co teachers.  But no way I'd tolerate that level of disrespect and no way would I sign any written warning.  I'd teach in China or where ever if I had to. 


  • hangook77
  • The Legend

    • 4263

    • September 14, 2017, 09:10:12 am
    • Near Busan
Re: Resigning from Gepik
« Reply #83 on: April 20, 2021, 12:36:58 pm »
My years in customer service (serving, tending bar, managing in hotels and on cruise lines) really help in Korea. Here's my advice and it works most of the time for me in life whenever I have conflict with someone.

Don't take a combative approach. It won't solve anything and will only damage the ego of the other person when your goal should be to scaffold it.

An easy way to address it is using the HEART approach.

Hear: engage her in a friendly and non-antagonistic manner. Listen to her points raptly and don't react to any of them.

Empathize: try and see her side, as crazy as it might seem. Throw in a few "I appreciate how it must be difficult to work with someone from a different culture, in a different language who doesn't fully understand the details of the Korean education system" etc.

Apologize: be careful here, don't assume too much blame but rather frame it as you're sorry this situation came about and that the relationship between you has become strained.

Resolve: tell her you respect her experience and knowledge and would appreciate any help she could give you, tell her you're always looking to improve as a teacher and will try your hardest to make things better going forwards.

Thank: thank her for bringing this to your attention and giving you both the opportunity to fix the situation and your working relationship.

Is it being a "cuck"? No, it's being smart and socially manipulative to get what you want. You catch more flies with honey than vinegar.

I'm not saying this situation is on you at all. I know her type and they suck, really. But in life we're all gonna meet unreasonable people and being able to deal with them in a productive way is a valuable skill.

Still, be firm and assertive. Don't be meek or timid. Definitely don't cry. But don't be looking for a fight, the game is rigged against you and you'll lose.

Why do you have to thank her and why do you have to fix her situation?  Admit nothing if you did nothing wrong.  As I have said, I have seen quite a few foreigners making nice still get screwed over in the end.  If she yells at you, you yell at her.  If she gives you a written warning, refuse to sign it and list all the complaints about her.  Stand your ground or bend over.  You'll either get fired or non renewed on next contract anyhow.  Might as well hold your head high. 


  • hangook77
  • The Legend

    • 4263

    • September 14, 2017, 09:10:12 am
    • Near Busan
Re: Resigning from Gepik
« Reply #84 on: April 20, 2021, 12:42:32 pm »
This happened after i first reported her to the school, she got mad and decided to pitch up at my apartment at around 22:00/23:00 unfortunately i had visited a friend in wonju and she did tell me she'll be coming by i just started getting calls and text, tell me she's at my door and the i need to be home immediately, we aren't allowed to leave our homes and etc after i explained that i cant make it she said i disrespected her and stay there for almost an hour calling and texting it was really scary. she'll say stuff like don't talk to any of the other teachers or your friends. etc.
And even with these texts, my recordings and letter i wrote her, that stuff wasn't even considered instead they ignored for the rest of the year and told be "things will be different next year".

So were you non renewed or did anything happen?  I have often seen foreigners get the short end of the stick in these situations.  Fortunately, most Koreans seem reasonable.  But xenophobic hateful crazies do pop up now and again from time to time. 


  • D.L.Orean
  • Expert Waygook

    • 552

    • February 25, 2020, 09:34:41 am
Re: Resigning from Gepik
« Reply #85 on: April 20, 2021, 01:34:19 pm »
I've seen quite a few foreign teachers get screwed. 

Have you worked at schools with multiple NETS?


  • Wlvers
  • Explorer

    • 6

    • February 19, 2020, 10:18:30 pm
    • Korea
Re: Resigning from Gepik
« Reply #86 on: April 21, 2021, 07:42:53 am »
Why do you have to thank her and why do you have to fix her situation?  Admit nothing if you did nothing wrong.  As I have said, I have seen quite a few foreigners making nice still get screwed over in the end.  If she yells at you, you yell at her.  If she gives you a written warning, refuse to sign it and list all the complaints about her.  Stand your ground or bend over.  You'll either get fired or non renewed on next contract anyhow.  Might as well hold your head high.

That's how to deal with most people in life. Kill them with kindness. It doesn't mean you have to be a timid bitch (I would refuse to sign a written warning in this situation also and wouldn't put up with someone redressing me in front of students), but never let the situation escalate on your side (don't yell back or throw out petty complaints tit-for-tat, be the adult in the room). There are very few people who you genuinely have to go 'scorched earth' with and I highly doubt a jumped up elementary school teacher is one of them.

But what works for some doesn't work for others and everyone has their own personality, own style.

Hope it all works out for you OP.


  • OnNut81
  • The Legend

    • 2527

    • April 01, 2011, 03:01:41 pm
    • Anyang
Re: Resigning from Gepik
« Reply #87 on: April 21, 2021, 07:59:11 am »
I noticed DippedinBlush (The OP) who started this thread, received lots of support and advice, but has not responded, yet is still active as of yesterday in the lessons plan forum.  Would be a courtesy to come back and update people here, as far as I'm concerned. 
« Last Edit: April 21, 2021, 11:00:00 am by OnNut81 »


  • njarlson
  • Adventurer

    • 38

    • March 02, 2021, 07:33:45 am
    • South Korea
Re: Resigning from Gepik
« Reply #88 on: April 21, 2021, 08:27:00 am »
I'm worried about tomorrow.  I just have a bad feeling that shit will go down tomorrow  because it's Friday ... The school has not updated me or even asked for a meeting with me to hear my side of the story.  Today I saw the CT fervently talking with two heads of the school~ Any advice for the meeting with the principal?  I've seen her in person for the last couple of days and she won't even look at me. :huh:

I don't want to push you... but again, I have to suggest that you be the proactive one and ask for (or rather, demand) a meeting yourself, don't wait for one of them to come to you. If they are not asking to meet with you, you need to ask to meet with them. If they try to push it off, try to corner them. If there is time after classes for instance, go to the office/classroom of one of the English teachers involved in these meetings and ask about it, tell them you need to meet with the principal to discuss what's going on as soon as possible, and let them know that you find it unfair that they are not allowing you to share your side. If they still will not do anything or do the run around of, "oh okay I'll see what I can do and let you know" with nothing definitive, contact the office of education. Find the email of the gepik coordinator or even the supervisor of the English department for your district and let them know what's happening. And as others have said, if they try to force you out, don't go easily. They cannot force you out unless they have a reason to legally terminate your contract. If they want you to resign, you still need to make the choice to sign the paper. If this happens, once again, contact the office of education to let them know how you are being unfairly treated and that they are trying to force you to resign since they have no reason to terminate your contract. Even if you do end up leaving (and I wouldn't blame you if you do), give them a taste of their own medicine and make things difficult for them.


  • leaponover
  • Expert Waygook

    • 784

    • March 05, 2012, 12:08:16 pm
    • Iksan, S. Korea
Re: Resigning from Gepik
« Reply #89 on: April 21, 2021, 08:10:51 pm »
It hasnít worked out. Has it dipped??

It's possible I skimmed to quickly and missed a downswing.  I sometimes fall asleep in the middle of movies, so I guess that covers more mediums...

Edit: Finally went back and reread everything and I guess I got confused when Demartino said something like congrats and game over.  I thought it had been resolved...my mistake.
« Last Edit: April 21, 2021, 08:19:22 pm by leaponover »


  • hangook77
  • The Legend

    • 4263

    • September 14, 2017, 09:10:12 am
    • Near Busan
Re: Resigning from Gepik
« Reply #90 on: April 22, 2021, 10:45:35 am »
If there is no written warning sprung on you or a meeting sprung on you where they are ganging up on you with accusations, then no worries.  My advice only applies if they confront you strongly first.  If not, then no worries.  But if she yells in class again or talks you like you're an idiot, do the same in return though you don't need to scream like alunatic but you can raise your voice and reply to her with a different tone. 

It either has blown over or they are biding their time looking to gang up and give you a negative review at contract renewal time.  If they don't go balistic on you, use diplomacy.  If they go nuclear on you, you go nuclear on them.  Making nice won't work at this point and they will see you as a doormat and not respect you anyways.  Push back against bullies.  Man up or woman up.

If they leave you alone, leave them alone but make alternate plans at end of contract just in case as a plan B. 


  • tik2018
  • Waygookin

    • 22

    • February 21, 2018, 01:05:19 pm
Re: Resigning from Gepik
« Reply #91 on: April 22, 2021, 02:34:57 pm »
This happened after i first reported her to the school, she got mad and decided to pitch up at my apartment at around 22:00/23:00 unfortunately i had visited a friend in wonju and she did tell me she'll be coming by i just started getting calls and text, tell me she's at my door and the i need to be home immediately, we aren't allowed to leave our homes and etc after i explained that i cant make it she said i disrespected her and stay there for almost an hour calling and texting it was really scary. she'll say stuff like don't talk to any of the other teachers or your friends. etc.
And even with these texts, my recordings and letter i wrote her, that stuff wasn't even considered instead they ignored for the rest of the year and told be "things will be different next year".
People seem to forget we are grown adults and don't owe anyone anything. I would have just told her that I was not home at the moment and would not be able to return in the near future as I was busy. Where are you? None of her business. You should be at home. Okay...but I'm not and if I can leave home to go to work, I can leave home to go other places. You disrespected me. Oh really? Well I would consider showing up at someone's door unannounced and refusing to leave being disrepectful. I would've turned off my phone if she kept calling and texting.
It seems like things have escalated but I would've suggested being aggressively nonchalant. Don't play into her rude mindgames. Keep it professional and distant, cuz she is not your boss. Give her similar energy. She interrupts you during class, shut that down then and there. "I'd appreciate it if you did not interrupt my class. Unless you would like to get up here and teach yourself. I understand you have differing opinions, but now is not the time. Thanks" She texts you outside of work with some b.s., don't respond. Show up at your door? Don't answer. Inquires into your business, where you go, etc. don't tell her. Keep it real vague cuz it's none of her business. Do your job, deal with her only as you have to from a professional and contractual standpoint, and escape when the year is over because your school does not care about you. She can call you up in front of the VP or whoever, but what have you done wrong? If it's your classes let them come see them themselves. She's the one who looks like a dummy if shes constantly complaining and kicking up a fuss when you're just quietly doing your job. There is nothing in your contract that states you have to be disrespected or abused by your fellow coworkers nor that you have to kiss their butt just because.


  • CO2
  • Waygook Lord

    • 7372

    • March 02, 2015, 03:41:14 pm
    • Uiwang
Re: Resigning from Gepik
« Reply #92 on: April 22, 2021, 02:59:39 pm »
Where are you? None of her business. You should be at home.

Exactly. The hell do you care if I'm not at home or not outside work hours? "If you're not at work, you should be at home waiting to go to work." Like, honestly? Eat a massive dork. Teaching is important, no doubt, but it's not more important than the teacher's life.

Work to live, don't live to work. 


  • Kyndo
  • Moderator LVL 1

    • I am a geek!!

    • March 03, 2011, 09:45:24 am
    • Gyeongsangbuk-do
Re: Resigning from Gepik
« Reply #93 on: April 23, 2021, 06:57:07 am »


  • hangook77
  • The Legend

    • 4263

    • September 14, 2017, 09:10:12 am
    • Near Busan
Re: Resigning from Gepik
« Reply #94 on: April 23, 2021, 08:02:31 am »
Have you worked at schools with multiple NETS?

???

One native speaker per school.  Never saw a public school have multiple NETS except for an English Village.


  • L I
  • Waygook Lord

    • 6855

    • October 03, 2011, 01:50:58 pm
Re: Resigning from Gepik
« Reply #95 on: April 23, 2021, 08:17:30 am »
I was at a public school five days a week. Two other NETs came two days a week (to up their hours to 22). They taught kindergarten, grades 1 and 2, and afterschool classes. So, for that school there were three NETs (but for only part of the week).


  • L I
  • Waygook Lord

    • 6855

    • October 03, 2011, 01:50:58 pm
Re: Resigning from Gepik
« Reply #96 on: April 23, 2021, 08:19:55 am »
I also know of big schools with two NETs there five days a week (though many have cut back to just one).


  • pkjh
  • The Legend

    • 2174

    • May 02, 2012, 02:59:44 pm
    • Asia
Re: Resigning from Gepik
« Reply #97 on: April 23, 2021, 08:53:29 am »
???

One native speaker per school.  Never saw a public school have multiple NETS except for an English Village.
Foreign Language high Schools might have multiple NETS, not only English ones, but also Japanese, and Chinese native speakers.


Re: Resigning from Gepik
« Reply #98 on: April 23, 2021, 09:24:11 am »
Foreign Language high Schools might have multiple NETS, not only English ones, but also Japanese, and Chinese native speakers.

NETS= Native English Teacher
Japanese and Chinese would be NJT and NCT or just NFLT- Native Foreign Language Teachers


  • hangook77
  • The Legend

    • 4263

    • September 14, 2017, 09:10:12 am
    • Near Busan
Re: Resigning from Gepik
« Reply #99 on: April 23, 2021, 09:26:37 am »
I was at a public school five days a week. Two other NETs came two days a week (to up their hours to 22). They taught kindergarten, grades 1 and 2, and afterschool classes. So, for that school there were three NETs (but for only part of the week).

Oh really?  I never saw a school with more than one NET.  I also thought teaching gr 1 and 2s were not allowed?  After schools done mostly by Koreans here and only foreigners on F visas now?  I think they banned E2s from that, but some may still have loopholes?  Should be allowed to teach younger kids as they absorb languages more quickly, but that is neither her nor there. 

It would be cool to have another foreigner to talk to.  Closest I came was a few years back working at an Elementary School and a block away was another dude I knew at a Middle School.  We'd meet at his school or mine and we'd go for a walk along the river in the afternoon.  This was before schools here got anal about signing in and out if you leave.  It was only one day a week due to us both doing multiple schools.  But it was nice to chat and kill time.  I must say Elementary schools get lonely late afternoon as the teachers all get really busy and most kids are gone as opposed to when I was in Middle School where there are classes spread throughout the day and always some teachers or students to talk to all day long.  This is way off topic now.  But, good times. 
« Last Edit: April 23, 2021, 09:28:56 am by hangook77 »