Resigning from Gepik

But... Should OP file a complaint though?

Hmmm...good question. 

YEP!

 

Hmmm...good question. 

YEP!

 

Based on what?  Why does she have grounds for a complaint with an outside agency?  Is her contract being violated?  She has a situation with an unprofessional and harassing co-teacher.  That's something that should be dealt with in house at the moment. 

Based on what?  Why does she have grounds for a complaint with an outside agency?  Is her contract being violated?  She has a situation with an unprofessional and harassing co-teacher.  That's something that should be dealt with in house at the moment.

...pretty sure the labor law(s) have something to say about harrassment and if the school does nothing about it, then that is a new level.

In fact, if more foreign teachers knew about this, and took action, rather than accepting an unnecessary fate, that might just contribute to raising Korea's already dismal reputation......... .......don't ya think?

Though, this is predicated on if the school does  as what typically happens... blame the foreigner.  Granted, a few of you have won your battles.  But, you guys are in the minority.

People don't deserve to be treated like that, in the way the OP described. 

You either stand your ground and take action, or you just help perpetuate the reputation Korea has.

I've done it....printed it out, showed to the party in question and simply said "We can keep on going.  I'm happy to come at you. Or, you can leave me the phuck alone"......(actual words). 

It worked.

But, this is not about me (or any of you).....I still suggest filing the complaint (if, the school does nothing to remedy the situation in a productive way).

...pretty sure the labor law(s) have something to say about harrassment and if the school does nothing about it, then that is a new level.

In fact, if more foreign teachers knew about this, and took action, rather than accepting an unnecessary fate, that might just contribute to raising Korea's already dismal reputation......... .......don't ya think?

Though, this is predicated on if the school does  as what typically happens... blame the foreigner.  Granted, a few of you have won your battles.  But, you guys are in the minority.

People don't deserve to be treated like that, in the way the OP described. 

You either stand your ground and take action, or you just help perpetuate the reputation Korea has.

I've done it....printed it out, showed to the party in question and simply said "We can keep on going.  I'm happy to come at you. Or, you can leave me the phuck alone"......(actual words). 

It worked.

But, this is not about me (or any of you).....I still suggest filing the complaint (if, the school does nothing to remedy the situation in a productive way).

If it comes to the school doing nothing, then she might as well, I just think it's a bit premature for that.  She needs to sit down with the powers that be at her school and state clearly what is happening and then see how they handle it.  Even if they do feel compelled to go the "support the Korean" route on the surface, if D.I.B. really splits there is going to be payback for that Korean teacher.  She'll have inconvenienced and caused some level of problem for anyone involved.  She won't escape unscathed.  Unless, of course. OP follows Hangook's advice and goes mental at school.  Then, she's accomplished nothing. 

If it comes to the school doing nothing, then she might as well, I just think it's a bit premature for that.  She needs to sit down with the powers that be at her school and state clearly what is happening and then see how they handle it.  Even if they do feel compelled to go the "support the Korean" route on the surface, if D.I.B. really splits there is going to be payback for that Korean teacher.  She'll have inconvenienced and caused some level of problem for anyone involved.  She won't escape unscathed.  Unless, of course. OP follows Hangook's advice and goes mental at school.  Then, she's accomplished nothing. 

Well...we're not fortune tellers and the norm is "Support the Korean"...we both know that. 

Again....standing one's ground  and being ready to take action, go a long way. 

But, I acknowledge your point.

If it comes to the school doing nothing, then she might as well, I just think it's a bit premature for that.  She needs to sit down with the powers that be at her school and state clearly what is happening and then see how they handle it.  Even if they do feel compelled to go the "support the Korean" route on the surface, if D.I.B. really splits there is going to be payback for that Korean teacher.  She'll have inconvenienced and caused some level of problem for anyone involved.  She won't escape unscathed.  Unless, of course. OP follows Hangook's advice and goes mental at school.  Then, she's accomplished nothing. 

What about my advice.  I said if she is summoned into a meeting of teachers and is given a written warning and a long list of job criticisms.  At this point they have turned against you and stuck together and there is nothing to lose.  They went mental on you so go nuclear on them.  At this point you have nothing to lose.  Sucking up and being even nicer after this will not earn you more respect and get you a contract renewal.  But be a cuck or whatever you want. 

  But be a cuck or whatever you want.

it was only a matter of time before hangook found that word

thats it im contacting the national cuck rights commission. this is the last straw hangook. i'm gonna go nuclear on you

What about my advice.  I said if she is summoned into a meeting of teachers and is given a written warning and a long list of job criticisms.  At this point they have turned against you and stuck together and there is nothing to lose.  They went mental on you so go nuclear on them.  At this point you have nothing to lose.  Sucking up and being even nicer after this will not earn you more respect and get you a contract renewal.  But be a cuck or whatever you want.

As someone who has seen plenty of people go down that road with the same logic you have, let me say that there is always more to lose. When you start to flip out and go mental, things outside your control become much more likely and you tend to make really bad decisions.

Anyways, you can still turn that situation around. You have to be strong, not crazy. And you have to focus in on the weak point, not just rant and fling stuff on random, incoherent points. It's not about having many flimsy points in an argument in Korea, it's about having one that's the strongest.

Go absolutely bananas in pajamas. Even go ape-shit if you feel the need.

You are part of an expensive and largely useless program. Everyone will be thrilled at this extra distraction.

On a more serious note, do you really want/need to be here that bad? Resign and make it clear in your resignation letter why you quit. It simply isn't worth it and to be frank these people don't deserve someone earnest enough to twist themselves up over such a job. They don't care, students and teachers alike, and neither should you.

As someone who has seen plenty of people go down that road with the same logic you have, let me say that there is always more to lose. When you start to flip out and go mental, things outside your control become much more likely and you tend to make really bad decisions.

Anyways, you can still turn that situation around. You have to be strong, not crazy. And you have to focus in on the weak point, not just rant and fling stuff on random, incoherent points. It's not about having many flimsy points in an argument in Korea, it's about having one that's the strongest.

Co teacher went nuts and sucking up after the written warning and criticisms lobbied with the other teachers agreeing with her will not save your job.  It's already shot not matter how much you suck up and try to be meek and mild making nice. If she gives you the written warning and the criticism in front of the others they are agreeing with her.  You sign if you want.  I wouldn't.  I would list all the criticisms I have of her including her unprofessionalism and racism singling out the foreign teacher (write it down on a list and bring it into the meeting to read from).  Then cry and then yell and then walk out if a woman.  If a man, yell and walk out.  Start out calm and if she is badgering you and acting crazy like a physco yelling and belitting you, then yes raise your voice, mention your points and walk out on them.  Refuse to sign.  Labor board, human rights commission, education office, and whomever else you can complain to. 

On the other hand if nothing comes of this 'meeting' no written warning or verbal bashing or criticism of you, then sure, do nothing.  Smile and nod politely and go home.  Call it a day and do none of the above.  But if ambushed stick up for yourself.  Take the advice or don't take it.  Pack your bags or don't pack your bags.  But every single person who tried to make nice when getting hit with this kind of verbal assault and workplace bullying didn't get their ass saved by trying to be even nicer and even more passive.  Sometimes you may even have to walk, but you will have your pride and dignity.

Co teacher went nuts and sucking up after the written warning and criticisms lobbied with the other teachers agreeing with her will not save your job.  It's already shot not matter how much you suck up and try to be meek and mild making nice. I

Dude, no one is saying to be make and mild and make nice. It's simply the difference between between fighting with discipline vs. charging and screaming wildly with no plan in mind like some sort of deranged lunatic.

Your approach is to fling spaghetti at the wall. We're saying- go for the kill shot.

Anyways, is this even about helping dib? Or is this about you living vicariously through someone else and hoping you get to experience some great moment of catharsis through them?

My years in customer service (serving, tending bar, managing in hotels and on cruise lines) really help in Korea. Here's my advice and it works most of the time for me in life whenever I have conflict with someone.

Don't take a combative approach. It won't solve anything and will only damage the ego of the other person when your goal should be to scaffold it.

An easy way to address it is using the HEART approach.

Hear: engage her in a friendly and non-antagonistic manner. Listen to her points raptly and don't react to any of them.

Empathize: try and see her side, as crazy as it might seem. Throw in a few "I appreciate how it must be difficult to work with someone from a different culture, in a different language who doesn't fully understand the details of the Korean education system" etc.

Apologize: be careful here, don't assume too much blame but rather frame it as you're sorry this situation came about and that the relationship between you has become strained.

Resolve: tell her you respect her experience and knowledge and would appreciate any help she could give you, tell her you're always looking to improve as a teacher and will try your hardest to make things better going forwards.

Thank: thank her for bringing this to your attention and giving you both the opportunity to fix the situation and your working relationship.

Is it being a "cuck"? No, it's being smart and socially manipulative to get what you want. You catch more flies with honey than vinegar.

I'm not saying this situation is on you at all. I know her type and they suck, really. But in life we're all gonna meet unreasonable people and being able to deal with them in a productive way is a valuable skill.

Still, be firm and assertive. Don't be meek or timid. Definitely don't cry. But don't be looking for a fight, the game is rigged against you and you'll lose.

I’m sorry to hear that you’re going through such a sh****ty situation in your final year teaching here, and after a decade of excellent teaching judging by your great relationships with other co-teachers and renewal for the past 10 years!

Please don’t quit! You invested a lot into your teaching career and deserve every last pay cheque and exit allowance and your apartment deposit back!

I agree with the HEART approached mentioned above, and while talking with her using that method audio record every bit of it.  Also when she mentions your problems, empathize with her by saying I’m sorry you feel that way, and the address her not helping out or working with your to fix the problems, and address her inappropriate behavior in class doing nothing, yelling at you, bothering the students... and mention to her that you have been renewed for the past 10 years, which wouldn’t have been possible if you were a bad teacher and that you have a wonderful co-teaching experience with the other teachers.

Later, ask her calmly about how the both of you can work together better in the future?

If worst come to worst, tell her calmly.... I don’t want to be your enemy. I am a contract teacher like you, we are both vulnerable in this field..We should be supporting each other and not attacking.

Tell her that if she doesn’t stop harassing you, you will take this to the hire ups and file complains and also make legal complaints, which you really don’t want to do because you understand that she needs this job to support her self.

Tell her that you have nothing to lose (lie a little), tell her you can go back to your home country at anytime or even to go another country easily and have nothing to lose, but she has to stay in Korea and support her self on the salary she makes here and you would feel awful to ruin her chances of working as a teacher.... but will do so if she doesn’t leave you alone..

I can meet you half way on that...much depends on the principle .

But...filing the complaint is the best option.  Based on what has been written, there will be no compromise and why should the OP have to work with such a wretched insect? 


File...the...compla int.

So one should file the complaint on principle, consequences be damned?

I’m sorry to hear that you’re going through such a sh****ty situation in your final year teaching here, and after a decade of excellent teaching judging by your great relationships with other co-teachers and renewal for the past 10 years!

Please don’t quit! You invested a lot into your teaching career and deserve every last pay cheque and exit allowance and your apartment deposit back!

I agree with the HEART approached mentioned above, and while talking with her using that method audio record every bit of it.  Also when she mentions your problems, empathize with her by saying I’m sorry you feel that way, and the address her not helping out or working with your to fix the problems, and address her inappropriate behavior in class doing nothing, yelling at you, bothering the students... and mention to her that you have been renewed for the past 10 years, which wouldn’t have been possible if you were a bad teacher and that you have a wonderful co-teaching experience with the other teachers.

Later, ask her calmly about how the both of you can work together better in the future?

If worst come to worst, tell her calmly.... I don’t want to be your enemy. I am a contract teacher like you, we are both vulnerable in this field..We should be supporting each other and not attacking.

Tell her that if she doesn’t stop harassing you, you will take this to the hire ups and file complains and also make legal complaints, which you really don’t want to do because you understand that she needs this job to support her self.

Tell her that you have nothing to lose (lie a little), tell her you can go back to your home country at anytime or even to go another country easily and have nothing to lose, but she has to stay in Korea and support her self on the salary she makes here and you would feel awful to ruin her chances of working as a teacher.... but will do so if she doesn’t leave you alone..

Great advice, even if it interrupts the show--hankook vs. martini. But much better than having to listen to Tom Selleck selling reverse mortgages to senior citizen suckers.

Hi everyone,

I hope you are doing well :D
Need some advice....
I am seriously considering resigning from my Gepik contract.  The situation at my school has become almost unbearable as my main coteacher this year seems to have nothing else better to do than borderline harass me (late night texts complaining, early morning messenger complaints about every single class I have with her etc etc etc...I could go on and on but that's neither here nor there.  I feel tremendous anxiety and stress coming to school as I know I will have 7 messages waiting for me of complaints).  All teachers agree she is being unreasonable and unfair (she is a Korean English contract worker and IMO those are the worst)...but I don't see the situation getting any better throughout the year.  It will be a constant struggle, since she is my main handler and obsessed.

This is going to be my last year anyways in Korea and I figure from a mental health point I need to just quit.  I have been with the school for over 4 years and just signed a contract in February.  I know I have to give 60 days notice yet I'm not sure what else gets forfeited (I just received the 1.3 million won as a renewal bonus)  as there isn't a lot of information in my contract about it. 
What about my 900,000 deposit and severance pay? 

ALSO...I just moved (and paid 5 million won deposit) for a new place....
Will the deposit be returned...usually?

I am so discombobulated and sorry if this message scattered.  I'm truly at my wits end.

Any help regarding the Gepik/rental contract would be greatly appreciated :D

Any updates?

Apologize: be careful here, don't assume too much blame but rather frame it as you're sorry this situation came about and that the relationship between you has become strained.

Just be careful not to use the words 'I'm sorry'.  In Korean 'I'm sorry' is usually translated into  미안해요 I apologize - indicating that you are in the wrong.  I found this out the hard way!  When I said 'I'm sorry' my co-teacher saw me as saying that I was taking the blame and it was my fault.  I was meaning it in the 'I'm sad/It's is regrettable/unfortunate' way.  She felt I was being hypocritcal and even said 'You're not sorry'.  She was correct I wasn't sorry in the way she meant it - as in I wasn't shouldering the blame.  I think this miscommunication was a big part of our problems.  I didn't discover the different connotations of 'I'm sorry' until a year later!

I’m sorry    
- 미안해요 I apologize
-   유감입니다 It is a shame. It is unfortunate. It is regrettable
- 힘드시겠어요  It must be difficult for you

Thanks guys and gals for all your suggestions!

So.....what I have isn't really an update...

The English teachers met and I wasn't aware of what was discussed or given any basic information of what was said at all.  The next day the coteacher in question cool messaged me with a sample resignation letter and told me good luck in my future!!  (That was Tuesday)...

I didn't hear anything until yesterday when had to ask one of my coteachers what was happening?!   She said that they (English teachers) had a meeting and then the two of them (there are 4 of us in total) went to go and speak with the principal.

I haven't heard anything since then.  I don't know what the outcome is or anything.  The coteacher is not messaging me anymore and when we have class (online) she just puts up a hand drawn picture of herself on the screen.....

My stomach has been in ropes for days and I truly have no idea what is going on.  I don't really know what to do, actually....and am anticipating the worst.

One thing I can say is that the HEART method will not work in this situation.  It's too far gone and I'm not apologizing to someone who has been harassing me and making my life hell.  The HEART method works with sane and rational people.   

So I'm just waiting for the dreaded call to come to the principal's office....Geez I feel like I'm in middle school and am in trouble....this worst feeling ever....my anxiety is through the roof right now.

Again, thanks for all the encouragement and helpful suggestions.   

- Late calls/texts complaining or threating me to not speak to anyone else at school and to come home from visiting friends

How does this work? What did she say? How did she know?