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  • confusedsafferinkorea
  • Waygook Lord

    • 5522

    • October 08, 2010, 01:02:32 pm
    • Zhubei, Hsinchu Province, Taiwan
    more
Kiddie tantrums
« on: September 19, 2020, 11:21:06 am »
For the last 2 Saturdays I have witnessed 2 kids throwing wobblies outside shops opposite my apartment. The first one, last Saturday, was a girl I guess around 5 or 6 throwing a category 6 wobbly outside the 7-11 with her mother just staring at her and saying a few words. My Chinese isn't up to scratch but judging from the expression on her face she was probably saying something like, 'now please my angel, don't be so angry'.

This morning was a little dude of around 4 or 5 and he was also in the category 6 league but he was a marathon man and kept it up for a good 20 minutes. His mom, the owner of the hairdressing shop, was trying to calm him but it had zero effect so she did the right thing and left him outside the shop to continue his tirade. When I came back from the market he was standing quietly outside the shop, so that worked.

Did you throw tantrums when you were young? If so how did your parents handle it?  I can't remember ever having done that, but the fact that I am alive today bears testimony to the fact that I never did or perhaps just once as my mother's discipline was very quick (and painful) and very effective.

How about you that have kids? Did they throw tantrums and how did you deal with it? I was so lucky with my kids, they are both very calm and I never had to deal with a strong willed child. My son, I never had to discipline and my daughter had one tantrum at the age of about 3, I simply transferred her to her room, closed the door and said, 'when you are finished you can come out'. After about 3 minutes she came out and said, Dad, I am finished now and that was that.

I sometimes feel sorry for parents with kids that are strong willed but I can see that often the kids are like that because the parents don't know how to deal with it.

Thoughts.

« Last Edit: September 19, 2020, 11:23:15 am by confusedsafferinkorea »
There is no known medical cure for stupidity!


  • VanIslander
  • Moderator LVL 1

    • 2057

    • June 02, 2011, 10:12:19 am
    • Seogwipo, Jeju Island
    more
Re: Kiddie tantrums
« Reply #1 on: September 19, 2020, 11:55:33 am »
In my classroom?

IMMEDIATE raised voice to cut it out.

If it doesn't work within seconds, I march down to the hagwon director's office.

I have done it about once every year or year and a half (no little **** runs my classroom!).

My students know: we rock & roll the lessons (usually two different kinds in an hour long class), then PLAY for 10 minutes and get a treat (you know, that 300 won each candy from a store in another town/city that makes them go "Wa!"). If there are yahoos I have a two-tier extrinsic reward system. By May they are all aboard. I have been doing this at academies here since '02. Classroom management is a skill i have honed, though it took a few years.

From 2009 to 2017 I taught on Jeju Island and had a kindy class 5 days a week (40 min waygook/40 min Korean) and my initial kindy class had 9 students. 2 left immediately, 1 a year later, 2 a couple of years later, but four of them i taught 5 days a week for 40 minutes a day from KINDY to 1ST year middle school!!! I couldn't break their hearts nor mine when  i was going back to the mainland, so i didn't tell them, just left... three and a half years later at a hagwon in Gyeongsangnamdo,... i am not sure if i made the right decision.
« Last Edit: September 19, 2020, 12:03:18 pm by VanIslander »


Re: Kiddie tantrums
« Reply #2 on: September 19, 2020, 06:27:25 pm »
Quote
Quote from: Mr.DeMartino on Yesterday at 01:40:32
    Trump is a liar and a con man.
Quote
Quote from Mr.DeMartino on June 14, 2019 at 02:28:07
Donald Trump is a lying sack of shit


  • stoat
  • Hero of Waygookistan

    • 1738

    • March 05, 2019, 06:36:13 pm
    • seoul
Re: Kiddie tantrums
« Reply #3 on: September 19, 2020, 07:24:13 pm »
Careful, I think you'll find that movie has been cancelled by your lot for promoting a 'school-to-prison pipeline' and 'romanticizing over-policing'.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8593873/Kindergarten-Cop-CANCELED-compared-Birth-Nation.html


  • NorthStar
  • Hero of Waygookistan

    • 1364

    • July 05, 2017, 10:54:06 am
    • Mouseville
Re: Kiddie tantrums
« Reply #4 on: September 20, 2020, 06:58:41 am »
In my classroom?

IMMEDIATE raised voice to cut it out.

If it doesn't work within seconds, I march down to the hagwon director's office.

I have done it about once every year or year and a half (no little **** runs my classroom!).

My students know: we rock & roll the lessons (usually two different kinds in an hour long class), then PLAY for 10 minutes and get a treat (you know, that 300 won each candy from a store in another town/city that makes them go "Wa!"). If there are yahoos I have a two-tier extrinsic reward system. By May they are all aboard. I have been doing this at academies here since '02. Classroom management is a skill i have honed, though it took a few years.

From 2009 to 2017 I taught on Jeju Island and had a kindy class 5 days a week (40 min waygook/40 min Korean) and my initial kindy class had 9 students. 2 left immediately, 1 a year later, 2 a couple of years later, but four of them i taught 5 days a week for 40 minutes a day from KINDY to 1ST year middle school!!! I couldn't break their hearts nor mine when  i was going back to the mainland, so i didn't tell them, just left... three and a half years later at a hagwon in Gyeongsangnamdo,... i am not sure if i made the right decision.

I believe the OP was seeking help, not you.


  • confusedsafferinkorea
  • Waygook Lord

    • 5522

    • October 08, 2010, 01:02:32 pm
    • Zhubei, Hsinchu Province, Taiwan
    more
Re: Kiddie tantrums
« Reply #5 on: September 20, 2020, 07:00:38 am »
I believe the OP was seeking help, not you.

Actually, I am not seeking help, my kids are grown adults now, I was just interested in people's experiences themselves, both for themselves and for those who have/had kids.
There is no known medical cure for stupidity!


  • NorthStar
  • Hero of Waygookistan

    • 1364

    • July 05, 2017, 10:54:06 am
    • Mouseville
Re: Kiddie tantrums
« Reply #6 on: September 20, 2020, 07:09:21 am »
I believe the OP was seeking help, not you.

Actually, I am not seeking help, my kids are grown adults now, I was just interested in people's experiences themselves, both for themselves and for those who have/had kids.

My bad.



  • confusedsafferinkorea
  • Waygook Lord

    • 5522

    • October 08, 2010, 01:02:32 pm
    • Zhubei, Hsinchu Province, Taiwan
    more
Re: Kiddie tantrums
« Reply #7 on: September 20, 2020, 07:24:55 am »
There is no known medical cure for stupidity!


Re: Kiddie tantrums
« Reply #8 on: September 20, 2020, 07:45:24 pm »
I don't really work with the little 'uns on a regular basis these days, and I've never had to deal with a tantrum while in class... well, not of the variety you'd imagine with young kids, anyway (I have had deal with tantrums coming from teenagers, though, and those are completely different).

Back when I babysat through middle and high school, though, the kids I watched never really had tantrums with me, even if their parents warned me that their kids were bad about it. Maybe the kids just liked me too much, or maybe the look I'd give them whenever they tried to argue with me was just scary enough to let them know that a tantrum wouldn't get them anywhere with me. I dunno.

If I had to deal with it now, though, I'd probably stick the kid in a private room until (s)he calmed down, then I'd have a very short talk with them where I'd acknowledge their feelings but also very clearly outline how they can better express themselves in the future. If the tantrum is violent enough (where the child is trying to destroy things or could potentially hurt themselves), I'd hand them off to the administration office and let them deal with it.
« Last Edit: September 20, 2020, 07:48:03 pm by Chinguetti »


  • hangook77
  • The Legend

    • 2166

    • September 14, 2017, 09:10:12 am
    • Near Busan
Re: Kiddie tantrums
« Reply #9 on: September 21, 2020, 09:33:51 am »
Careful, I think you'll find that movie has been cancelled by your lot for promoting a 'school-to-prison pipeline' and 'romanticizing over-policing'.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8593873/Kindergarten-Cop-CANCELED-compared-Birth-Nation.html

Who put the retards in charge?


  • OnNut81
  • Hero of Waygookistan

    • 1363

    • April 01, 2011, 03:01:41 pm
    • Anyang
Re: Kiddie tantrums
« Reply #10 on: September 21, 2020, 11:24:36 am »
In my classroom?

IMMEDIATE raised voice to cut it out.

If it doesn't work within seconds, I march down to the hagwon director's office.

I have done it about once every year or year and a half (no little **** runs my classroom!).

My students know: we rock & roll the lessons (usually two different kinds in an hour long class), then PLAY for 10 minutes and get a treat (you know, that 300 won each candy from a store in another town/city that makes them go "Wa!"). If there are yahoos I have a two-tier extrinsic reward system. By May they are all aboard. I have been doing this at academies here since '02. Classroom management is a skill i have honed, though it took a few years.

From 2009 to 2017 I taught on Jeju Island and had a kindy class 5 days a week (40 min waygook/40 min Korean) and my initial kindy class had 9 students. 2 left immediately, 1 a year later, 2 a couple of years later, but four of them i taught 5 days a week for 40 minutes a day from KINDY to 1ST year middle school!!! I couldn't break their hearts nor mine when  i was going back to the mainland, so i didn't tell them, just left... three and a half years later at a hagwon in Gyeongsangnamdo,... i am not sure if i made the right decision.

A lot to get through here, but two questions jump out.

Why did you march yourself down to the director's office?  Did you do something wrong?

And how on God's green earth did you swerve from temper tantrums to whether you made the right choice to not say good bye to your students?  But since you brought it up, if you had wanted to say good bye that would have been your opportunity.  They weren't going to be thinking of you 24 hours after they got a new teacher.  Middle school kids are going to move on immediately.  So, you can stop beating yourself up for it three years later. 


  • confusedsafferinkorea
  • Waygook Lord

    • 5522

    • October 08, 2010, 01:02:32 pm
    • Zhubei, Hsinchu Province, Taiwan
    more
Re: Kiddie tantrums
« Reply #11 on: September 21, 2020, 12:38:10 pm »
 But since you brought it up, if you had wanted to say good bye that would have been your opportunity.  They weren't going to be thinking of you 24 hours after they got a new teacher.  Middle school kids are going to move on immediately.  So, you can stop beating yourself up for it three years later.

My former students in Korea kept contact with me long after I left and asked me when I was coming back. The same in China, I left there in early 2018 and I still have my students from then communicating with me.

Mod Edit: aborting (not censoring!) a nascent argument and thread derailment.
« Last Edit: September 22, 2020, 08:04:47 am by Kyndo »
There is no known medical cure for stupidity!


  • Liechtenstein
  • Hero of Waygookistan

    • 1144

    • February 15, 2019, 04:39:00 pm
    • NE Hemisphere
Re: Kiddie tantrums
« Reply #12 on: September 21, 2020, 01:10:09 pm »
Both my sister and I were happy well-adjusted kids that didn't cause our parents any grief.

My brother, on the other hand, caused nothing but grief. He was 7 years older than me and before I was born he put my mom in the nuthouse! She had a full scale mental breakdown. He was still causing my folks grief up till the very end. I hated that guy.


Re: Kiddie tantrums
« Reply #13 on: September 21, 2020, 03:31:19 pm »
Clicked on this thinking it was about the regressive left's reaction to Trump exercising his constitutional right to nominate RBG's replacement. Or their reaction to a violent criminal's spree being halted by the police. Or a premonition of the reaction to Trump's impending victory. Or their reaction to Joe Rogan existing. Or their reaction to nation states having borders. Or their reaction to private property being a thing. Or their reaction to reading about sexual dimorphism.

etc
Does your wife submit to you?


Re: Kiddie tantrums
« Reply #14 on: September 21, 2020, 04:13:05 pm »
Clicked on this thinking it was about the regressive left's reaction to Trump exercising his constitutional right to nominate RBG's replacement. Or their reaction to a violent criminal's spree being halted by the police. Or a premonition of the reaction to Trump's impending victory. Or their reaction to Joe Rogan existing. Or their reaction to nation states having borders. Or their reaction to private property being a thing. Or their reaction to reading about sexual dimorphism.

etc

You’re from Ireland, nah? Trump n joe n rbg pretty big names there?


  • Kyndo
  • Moderator LVL 1

    • 1444

    • March 03, 2011, 09:45:24 am
    • Gyeongsangbuk-do
Re: Kiddie tantrums
« Reply #15 on: September 22, 2020, 07:50:31 am »
Why did you march yourself down to the director's office?  Did you do something wrong?
To notify the management so that they could administrate the appropriate disciplinary action, I'm guessing. That's really not our jobs, and can get NETs into a world of trouble if there are complaints, especially at a hagwon.

If you had wanted to say good bye that would have been your opportunity.  They weren't going to be thinking of you 24 hours after they got a new teacher.  Middle school kids are going to move on immediately.  So, you can stop beating yourself up for it three years later. 
Teaching the same group of kids 5 times a week for 6 years definitely means that there'll be some attachment (unless you're doing something very wrong). I still get the occasional email from kids I taught in Japan back when they were in kindergarten (they're in university now lol!). I taught them twice a week for 2 years, and leaving was really really difficult. If I hadn't had visa issues, I might've stayed a few years longer -- the pay was crap, but the students and their parents were all so awesome...




As for tantrums, my one year old is just now discovering the joys of overreaction. We're trying to nip it is the bud, but stubbornness runs in the family on both sides, so...  :lipsrsealed:
    My parents dealt with us by just sending us to our rooms and ignoring us until it blew over.
   If we were out in public, we would get the ever ominous "When we get home, we're going to address this." ("...met 'n lekker pak slaag.")

    We plan on doing the same when the kiddo is old enough to get a room to be sent to. Currently we just ignore him and absolutely never cave in to what kiddo is trying to get.


  • OnNut81
  • Hero of Waygookistan

    • 1363

    • April 01, 2011, 03:01:41 pm
    • Anyang
Re: Kiddie tantrums
« Reply #16 on: September 22, 2020, 08:42:43 am »
To notify the management so that they could administrate the appropriate disciplinary action, I'm guessing. That's really not our jobs, and can get NETs into a world of trouble if there are complaints, especially at a hagwon.
Teaching the same group of kids 5 times a week for 6 years definitely means that there'll be some attachment (unless you're doing something very wrong). I still get the occasional email from kids I taught in Japan back when they were in kindergarten (they're in university now lol!).




I was just joking about using the word "march".  I can see marching a student down to the director's office but if I head out I'm not going to be in a huff arms swinging knees up marching down to the director's office.  I would just stroll down.

As for forming attachments with students, sure, that happens.  When I taught western five year olds the entire morning for a year I was an important figure in their lives .  I was their only teacher and I was with them until one pm five days a week for a year.  When they did the graduation program you definitely had a lump in your throat.  Got emails from parents after I moved and they had a send off for me when I was leaving to get married, but at no point have I ever given a student my real phone number or email.  At one of my elementary schools it was a running joke when students would ask for my email.  I gave them a really long fake one and they would write it down and then complain that it didn't work.  I would then say "Oh, I forgot part of the address" and they would dutifully write down the new one.  They knew it was fake but it just became a game to see how ridiculous I could make my email address.  As I said, I'm happy running into my former students on the street or in EMart but no way do I want kids emailing me or adding me on Facebook.  Not appropriate.  They're not my friends. 

« Last Edit: September 22, 2020, 08:46:46 am by OnNut81 »


  • Kyndo
  • Moderator LVL 1

    • 1444

    • March 03, 2011, 09:45:24 am
    • Gyeongsangbuk-do
Re: Kiddie tantrums
« Reply #17 on: September 22, 2020, 08:52:53 am »
I was just joking about using the word "march".  I can see marching a student down to the director's office but if I head out I'm not going to be in a huff arms swinging knees up marching down to the director's office.  I would just stroll down.
Oh. Gotcha, lol.
I aim for a saunter, or at worst, a cruise. "Cat-crosses-the-courtyard", if you catch the reference.  :wink:

As for forming attachments with students, sure, that happens.  When I taught western five year olds the entire morning for a year I was an important figure in their lives .  I was their only teacher and I was with them until one pm five days a week for a year.  When they did the graduation program you definitely had a lump in your throat.  Got emails from parents after I moved and they had a send off for me when I was leaving to get married, but at no point have I ever given a student my real phone number or email.  At one of my elementary schools it was a running joke when students would ask for my email.  I gave them a really long fake one and they would write it down and then complain that it didn't work.  I would then say "Oh, I forgot part of the address" and they would dutifully write down the new one.  They knew it was fake but it just became a game to see how ridiculous I could make my email address.  As I said, I'm happy running into my former students on the street or in EMart but no way do I want kids emailing me or adding me on Facebook.  Not appropriate.  They're not my friends. 
   Totally understandable.
   Having worked at universities and IELT prep courses, etc, I have a work email that I'll give my students for assignments and stuff. If students really want an email address, I occasionally will give them that.
   What really wierds me out are those teachers who have a bunch of their middle school kids as friends on FB.  Seems like a recipe for... well, ...not good things.:huh:


  • OnNut81
  • Hero of Waygookistan

    • 1363

    • April 01, 2011, 03:01:41 pm
    • Anyang
Re: Kiddie tantrums
« Reply #18 on: September 22, 2020, 09:38:33 am »

   What really wierds me out are those teachers who have a bunch of their middle school kids as friends on FB.  Seems like a recipe for... well, ...not good things.:huh:

Damn, that reminds me of this guy that was a regular on the FB Gepik page when that was a going concern.  He would always be commenting on how well he got on with his middle school students.  He mentioned his system of rewards which included things like going out to eat with him and going to a noraebong together with his students.  He'd also play the piano at lunch like some pied piper because the girls would come watch him play.  Really creepy stuff.  I went and looked at his page once and he had loads of photos that were him hanging out with female students at school and outside of school.  I remember one album was him belting out tunes with the girls in a noraebong room.  I can't believe he was allowed to socialize with them, let alone him wanting to. 


  • 745sticky
  • Expert Waygook

    • 880

    • March 26, 2020, 01:52:57 pm
    • Korea
Re: Kiddie tantrums
« Reply #19 on: September 22, 2020, 09:41:31 am »
Damn, that reminds me of this guy that was a regular on the FB Gepik page when that was a going concern.  He would always be commenting on how well he got on with his middle school students.  He mentioned his system of rewards which included things like going out to eat with him and going to a noraebong together with his students.  He'd also play the piano at lunch like some pied piper because the girls would come watch him play.  Really creepy stuff.  I went and looked at his page once and he had loads of photos that were him hanging out with female students at school and outside of school.  I remember one album was him belting out tunes with the girls in a noraebong room.  I can't believe he was allowed to socialize with them, let alone him wanting to.

Dude must really have trouble finding adult friends if he has to hang out with middle schoolers. I get the feeling I know exactly the kinda guy he probably was in college