An insult driven takedown of “Korea has four seasons”

Even Anyang has one!

FYI. that place has nothing to do with the hotel chain.
In fact, it's not even a hotel. It's a wedding hall.

FYI. that place has nothing to do with the hotel chain.
In fact, it's not even a hotel. It's a wedding hall.

5-star, no doubt!

FYI. that place has nothing to do with the hotel chain.
In fact, it's not even a hotel. It's a wedding hall.

Oh, I know. People don't give a shit about intellectual property here. I found this on Coupang yesterday.......... ... It's clearly not official merch, but............... who is the audience here????? Who in Korea wants a Glass Animals tote bag from Coupang. And in 2 or 3 different designs?

https://www.coupang.com/vp/products/1738573082?itemId=2959863485&vendorItemId=70948343043&isAddedCart=

The Maritimes has 4 seasons too, but winter is the longest season with summer and spring and fall being shorter. 

Early April to Mid June - Spring (most years - sometimes an early summer with hot temps in May, but rare)
Mid June to Mid September - Summer (most years - occasionally a hotter more humid rainy summer or a colder rainy summer, but rare)
Mid Sept to Early November - Fall (By end of Oct and early November trees are bare and temps are dropping and windchills are increasing, though some overnight temps will get down to 0 or below by late September some nights.)
Early to Mid November to End of March - the differing phases of winter. 

Winter explained. 
From mid to late October through much of November cloudy a lot and rainy and damp and colder.  (Often May and some parts of April are rainy and damp too.  But Autumn rains colder and more chilling.  Can be depressing.)  Most of the rest of the year except for the odd rainy day or snowstorm, the sun shines brightly with blue skies.  If you move to other places, you notice the difference right away.  Some other place in North America and over here in Korea can be cloudy gloomy parts of the year and you really notice it. 

Anyways, mid to late October through a part of November, cloudy damp rainy.  Later in November and through much of December, cold winds come with cold windchills.  Definitely feels below 0 with the windchills even if day time highs get above 0 barely.  Night will feel minus 10 or 15 with windchills.  It is usually too cold to snow most years, so ground is bare until Christmas or a day or two after.  (The odd year where is it warmer, you can have snow from Oct or Nov onward, but is very rare.)  No snow and often a black Christmas.

After Christmas and before New Years, we get the first of many nor'easters coming up through New England and intensifying.  A foot or two of snow in 24 hours shutting everything down.  Temps are colder.  Minus 20 to 30 windchills overnight and minus 5 to minus 10 in the afternoons.  Lots of snow.  Warms up a bit to snow briefly.  Stays until the end of March.  Often waist high snow.  (Occasional warm clouds come up from Florida and put the temps up to 10 or 15 degrees for a couple of days and melt the snow or most of it.  But a nor'easter comes shortly after and brings it back and more.) 

Once the official day of spring arrives on calendar March 21st?  The weather shifts, between hot and cold.  Snow starts melting but we can still get some snowstorms late March early April, but by mid April snow is gone.  Some slight patches can be found deep in the forest into late April.    It's a kind of 2 or 3 week "hurry up and get here spring - summer" phase when you've had summer desires and cabin fever since the end of February.  Then the end of winter and spring drags on forever with you wishing summer would hurry up and arrive. 

We have 4 seasons with winter being the longest.  But, winter has subseasons? within or phases to it.  I can compare November with colder air and no snow to the week or two in January where it does actually get cold in Korea.  The first 2 or 3 weeks of April I can compare to much of the rest of Korean winter. 

As for the rest of Canadian east coast winter, if you've never experienced it, you'd have to dress warm and experience it for yourself.  It will blow you away.  But, I will say unlike here, it is never damp and the sun always shines brightly.  In fact, the sun reflecting off the snow can be too bright sometimes.  Rarely cloudy and gloomy year round except late fall and a part of spring for a month or so on each side.  Cold, but a dry cold.  Summers use to be nice and dry - upper 20's in afternoon with swimmable beaches in spite of how far north it is.  July and August most years quite nice.  North America's hidden secret summer escape from heat and humidity elsewhere.

Economy sucks and is amongst the poorest in North America, though if you love retail and call centers, it will be your heaven.  But that weather though. 

My long rant filled point is that many places have 4 seasons.  Though Korea's claim to fame is that all seasons are exactly equal in time - 4 equal seasons.  But given how summer heat and humidity has encroached on spring and fall in recent years, I would say summer is the longest.  This year has not been so bad so far.  Heck today is July and I don't even need the air conditioner on in my room.  Just open windows.  I can't remember a day in June or July not needing air con.  Haven't used it at any of my schools this week so far.  Past years, I'd be annoyed if I couldn't get it turned on by mid to late May.  Air con season the last 3 or 4 years seemed to go from mid May to mid Oct.  So, at 5 months summer was the longest season here. 

Mid March to Mid May - spring though much of it dusty and polluted and hazy.
Mid May to Mid Oct - Summer (though summer has had varying parts or subseasons to it.)
Mid Oct to Early December - Fall though much of it polluted and greyish skies. 
Early December to Mid March - winter.  During this time, trees are bare and overnight temps are often below 0 degrees if slightly. 

The official calaendar doesn't really take into account Canadian or Korean seasons, though East Asians use a different time table to measure seasons.  The shortest day of the year is December 21st aprox and the first day of winter on the western calendar.  But in East Asian countries, it is the half way point for the winier season.  Many older Koreans are already claiming after Seolnal if in Feb it is already spring even if the trees are still bare and no flowers will bloom for a couple more months.  June 21st the longest day of the year is first day of the summer season on the western calendar.  But it is the half way point for the summer season on the Asian calendar.  So by early to mid August, the Koreans are saying it's fall already.


Korean summer in recent years has subseasons.

Mid May to Early to Mid June, temps get hot with temps in the afternoon being upper 20's to low 30's, but not too humid yet. 
Mid June and sometimes not till July, a brief rainy season starts with very warm and humid rainy weather.  A short time, more so in recent years. 
Then comes sunny and hot and really humid weather even more than rainy season.  Temps low to mid 30s and with the humidity can feel like it's in the low to mid 40's.  Much of July, but especially most of August.
Then end of August into early September, temps stay quite hot but humidity drops slightly though still humid.  Maybe instead of 80 or 90% during peak summer, it drops to 50 to 60% - still uncomfortable.  Temps come down from early to mid September to upper 20's but still humid.  Early October, temps may start coming down a bit but humidity remains.  Still mid 20's.  But humidity ruins it. 
Finally, mid October after first week and a half or two temps go to low to mid 20's and humidity is gone.  (Down to a comfortable level below 35 to 40%.) 

*In past years Autumn started last week of September as humidity went away then and temps were mid to upper 20s starting and falling through October but still low 20's by end Of October.  Use to be dry with lots of blue skies and quite pleasant.   Ten to 15 years ago, other waygooks told me that springs in Korea were quite pleasant.  Clean air most of the time - odd yellow dust or pine tree dust day.  But pleasant temps not humid.  Did get hotter by late May and early June, but still dry and mostly blue skies.  But weather is different in recent years to what I mentioned above. 

This year has been different and quite nice and reasonable.  As I said above, it's July and I don't even have the air con on here at this school today.  I can't remember ever having that since I have been here.  Spring had many nice days and just the odd polluted or dusty day.  (Also May needed no air con unlike past years.) 

My point to this rant is that Korea nor Canada has 4 equal seasons.  We have 4 unequal seasons, but our longest seasons have subseasons.  In Korea, that longest season is summer.  In east coast Canada, that longest season is winter.  Guess I have too much time now till the end of the semester or something.  Made too many ppts and am now free.  Ha ha.  This is my long winded detail rant on the subject. 

One more thing to add, Autumn use to be my favorite season in Korea.  Seven to ten years ago or earlier, it was the bomb.  A lot of Middle Schools had their exam days then too and they'd let the teachers go home at one pm.  I'd get out every afternoon and enjoy it.  (Though I do hear from friends many of the schools try to make the foreign teachers stay now.  I do elementary so I don't know.)  Maybe given how unusual this year has been, this fall will be nice and return to tradition?  We shall see. 

Korea, your monsoons are weak and timid.

I take it all back.

I never knew the potential a beach held until I waded knee-deep and fully-clothed in yours on those muggy summer days.

Now if you’ll please make it stop.

I never knew the beauty of autumn until I went hiking through your mountains with hikers as numerous as the leaves, and just as colorful in their 아이더.

Now would you please make it stop.

I never knew the joy of winter until I slipped through the packed ice of your sidewalk-less streets long after the snow has disappeared.

Now please make it stop.

I never knew the rejuvenating power of spring until I gazed at your golden-hued April skies.

Now just make it stop.

I never knew what “four” meant until I experienced your seasons.

Now f***ing stop raining.

Flowers, with heavy air pollution
Hot and rainy, with heavy air pollution
One week of cool, clean air
Cold, with heavy air pollution

Korea, your monsoons are weak and timid.

I'm holding you personally responsible for this poindexter. 

In November, please don't say 'Korea, your winters are so mild, unsnowy and 노잼!'

'Korea, your winters are so mild, unsnowy and 노잼!'

My first winter here there was enough snow to take my Texas coworker out sledding for his first time ever. Although a wooded mountain is no replacement for the denuded slope of a hill. I think we decided to stop once he busted a nut on a protruding tree root. 

My first winter here there was enough snow to take my Texas coworker out sledding for his first time ever. Although a wooded mountain is no replacement for the denuded slope of a hill. I think we decided to stop once he busted a nut on a protruding tree root. 

I didn't know snow could be that exciting. Or maybe it was the tree root he liked

I didn't know snow could be that exciting. Or maybe it was the tree root he liked

Haha. I guess I took that phrase too literally 

He broke a testicle