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  • oglop
  • The Legend

    • 4323

    • August 25, 2011, 07:24:54 pm
    • Seoul
Re: Marrying a Korean Public School teacher?
« Reply #20 on: October 22, 2019, 03:38:58 pm »
yeah imagine giving your whole salary to your wife and having to beg for some pocket money


  • lhelena
  • Veteran

    • 176

    • March 11, 2018, 01:57:14 pm
    • Anseong
Re: Marrying a Korean Public School teacher?
« Reply #21 on: October 22, 2019, 03:46:11 pm »
I just got married to a Korean lady after 3 years of dating. I have repeatedly told her and her family that I want to leave Korea after 2 years.  I have told them this on several occasions. There is no way that I would marry someone here in Korea without having the option on the table to leave. I can tolerate Korea alright and I've been here for 5 years but there is no way in hell I'd want to raise a family with this pollution, the bali bali life style, and the insane housing costs. I also know of people who have tried to make a life here and one guy had the government come and take his house because they wanted to develop the property. Even my wife's family are currently fighting with the government trying to make a grab at their property.

Usually, when my in-laws make a positive point about Korea I will make a mental note and come back at them with something negative. I have to be extremely careful at how and when I say my complaints, but I try to make this a selling point. If they were to mention how much a Korean man would make I would probably say something like " Yeah, they would probably need to make that much to pay for housing. It is much more expensive to live here than where I am from. Where I am from we could have a huge house and yard for 1/4 the price of an apartment in Seoul " .  I will gladly let these other guys kill themselves so that they can pay a billion won for a shoebox and breathe polluted air half the year. I try to change the frame of the conversation. I mention to my father in law about how it can open up new opportunities for his business etc. As others have pointed out there is a good reason why many Koreans aren't having kids. I usually point to the in-laws these common problems that people go through and frame things as a way that their daughter and I can escape some of those hurdles if we need to.


Yeah my husband has always said he doesn't want to start a family here. He doesn't want our kids going through the Korean school system unless they choose to come back for college. The pollution and cost of housing is another reason I don't want to stay either. My health has taken a pretty fair plummet since moving here. So many sinus infections!


  • Savant
  • The Legend

    • 2428

    • April 07, 2012, 11:35:31 pm
Re: Marrying a Korean Public School teacher?
« Reply #22 on: October 22, 2019, 04:10:53 pm »
yeah imagine giving your whole salary to your wife and having to beg for some pocket money

I give my wife half my salary but that's because a lot of our financial re-payments are in her name.


  • oglop
  • The Legend

    • 4323

    • August 25, 2011, 07:24:54 pm
    • Seoul
Re: Marrying a Korean Public School teacher?
« Reply #23 on: October 22, 2019, 04:14:32 pm »
yeah imagine giving your whole salary to your wife and having to beg for some pocket money

I give my wife half my salary but that's because a lot of our financial re-payments are in her name.
yeah same. i put half in our joint account. that's a big difference to giving your entire salary away though


  • zola
  • The Legend

    • 2917

    • September 30, 2012, 06:56:11 am
    • Korea
Re: Marrying a Korean Public School teacher?
« Reply #24 on: October 22, 2019, 04:21:29 pm »
Giving/transferring money for financial obligations is fine. But I have a co-worker who gets an allowance for the month. He used to have a credit card with his wife but had it confiscated by her after a particularly big night.

Budgeting and controlled spending is fine and necessary. But treating your spouse like a child is fuked up. These conversations need to be had before marriage though.
Kpip! - Martin 2018


  • stoat
  • Hero of Waygookistan

    • 1733

    • March 05, 2019, 06:36:13 pm
    • seoul
Re: Marrying a Korean Public School teacher?
« Reply #25 on: October 22, 2019, 04:27:13 pm »
It depends on the dynamic in the household. In the past working men gave their wives their pay packet because the wives ran the household and all husbands needed was beer money. My wife isn't working right now so i'm happy to let her control the bulk of the money to buy food, pay bills look after the kid etc..i keep around 600,000 won for personal expenses. I trust her enough  not to insist she asks me everytime she needs more. That'd be pretty demeaning. It helps that I know she doesn't covet useless expensive crap like handbags


  • oglop
  • The Legend

    • 4323

    • August 25, 2011, 07:24:54 pm
    • Seoul
Re: Marrying a Korean Public School teacher?
« Reply #26 on: October 22, 2019, 04:39:44 pm »
Giving/transferring money for financial obligations is fine. But I have a co-worker who gets an allowance for the month. He used to have a credit card with his wife but had it confiscated by her after a particularly big night.

Budgeting and controlled spending is fine and necessary. But treating your spouse like a child is fuked up. These conversations need to be had before marriage though.
well if he goes out and spends 300k every weekend, i'm on his wife's side. but yeah, you gotta sort these things out before marriage. i guess as long as everyone is happy it doesn't really matter


  • Cohort 2019
  • Expert Waygook

    • 555

    • August 17, 2019, 08:09:23 pm
    • 90S.- 0'E
    more
Re: Marrying a Korean Public School teacher?
« Reply #27 on: October 22, 2019, 06:33:04 pm »
 :azn: Congrats on overcoming the family-side of things and your upcoming marriage!  :azn:

my gf.just  ended up breaking up with me when I fled the pollution. ;D
incumbo studiis


  • waygo0k
  • The Legend

    • 4226

    • September 27, 2011, 11:51:01 am
    • Chungnam
Re: Marrying a Korean Public School teacher?
« Reply #28 on: October 22, 2019, 07:21:48 pm »
Congrats OP.

Perhaps you two could look into moving to Jeju. That way, she gets to keep her public school job, you get to work at an international school (visa free) and make some real money.

In a few years (with her raises) your combined yearly income would be well over 100mil...plus the advantage of living in a largely pollution-free environment.

But Id make sure I get an offer first before making that move though.


  • SPQR
  • Super Waygook

    • 491

    • March 08, 2018, 07:04:54 pm
    • Canada
Re: Marrying a Korean Public School teacher?
« Reply #29 on: October 22, 2019, 08:20:00 pm »
Congrats OP.

Perhaps you two could look into moving to Jeju. That way, she gets to keep her public school job, you get to work at an international school (visa free) and make some real money.

In a few years (with her raises) your combined yearly income would be well over 100mil...plus the advantage of living in a largely pollution-free environment.

But Id make sure I get an offer first before making that move though.

Jeju might be clean, but it is probably the most inconvenient place to live in Korea.


  • waygo0k
  • The Legend

    • 4226

    • September 27, 2011, 11:51:01 am
    • Chungnam
Re: Marrying a Korean Public School teacher?
« Reply #30 on: October 22, 2019, 09:47:18 pm »
In some ways, maybe...if youre a party animal that craves the itaewon/hongdae lifestyle, Jeju probably wouldnt be for you.

Also, it can be a hassle getting out during peak travel periods because of the cost of flight tickets.

But in terms of everyday living, its not to different from any mid-sized provincial city in Korea, with the added bonus of great beaches, clean air, minimal traffic and a stupendously well paid job with minimal living costs (assuming your work at an international school).

Not to mention the great environment your kid(s) would grow up in (international school education + campus setting etc).


Re: Marrying a Korean Public School teacher?
« Reply #31 on: October 22, 2019, 11:34:23 pm »
My points as someone who has been here for a long time.

1. Unless you want kids, do not get married.  There's no point.

2.  She will likely want to stay in Korea forever.  Can you handle being a non-person / outsider for the rest of your life?  The Koreans might smile at you on the street and call you handsome, but they really don't want you here.

The expat crowd starts thinning out pretty rapidly in the lows 30s.  Do you want to be in your 40s and 50's hanging out with people who are 25 at the expat bar?

3. F-6 visa does not mean automatic riches.  I know many F6's who make no more than regular E2s.   Beware of the people on these forums who love to exaggerate their income.   Many are full of it.



  • CO2
  • Waygook Lord

    • 6250

    • March 02, 2015, 03:41:14 pm
    • Uiwang
Re: Marrying a Korean Public School teacher?
« Reply #32 on: October 22, 2019, 11:58:14 pm »
My points as someone who has been here for a long time.

The expat crowd starts thinning out pretty rapidly in the lows 30s.  Do you want to be in your 40s and 50's hanging out with people who are 25 at the expat bar?
Depends on who you are. If you're cool with banter and you know what people wanna talk about, you'll fit right in. If you preface everything by saying, "Well, I know and am the authoritative source on................. ." then no.


Quote
3. F-6 visa does not mean automatic riches.  I know many F6's who make no more than regular E2s.   Beware of the people on these forums who love to exaggerate their income.   Many are full of it.

Agreed.
The first thing to say is that this is definitely not pyramid selling, OK?


  • VanIslander
  • Moderator LVL 1

    • 2042

    • June 02, 2011, 10:12:19 am
    • Seogwipo, Jeju Island
    more
Re: Marrying a Korean Public School teacher?
« Reply #33 on: October 23, 2019, 12:35:30 am »
Do you want to be in your 40s and 50's hanging out with people who are 25 at the expat bar?
Depends on who you are. If you're cool with banter and you know what people wanna talk about, you'll fit right in.
Indeed.

Do you wanna be 50 and hang out with 55-60 year olds who talk about retirement, pains, children and b****ing about young people, or stay interested in the times and feel still thirtysomething, age being just a number.

As a 50 year old i feel totally different when with thirtysomethings than fiftysomethings. I much prefer the former.


  • KimDuHan
  • Hero of Waygookistan

    • 1339

    • January 15, 2015, 11:48:59 am
    • Seoul
Re: Marrying a Korean Public School teacher?
« Reply #34 on: October 23, 2019, 04:30:08 am »
My points as someone who has been here for a long time.

1. Unless you want kids, do not get married.  There's no point.

2.  She will likely want to stay in Korea forever.  Can you handle being a non-person / outsider for the rest of your life?  The Koreans might smile at you on the street and call you handsome, but they really don't want you here.

The expat crowd starts thinning out pretty rapidly in the lows 30s.  Do you want to be in your 40s and 50's hanging out with people who are 25 at the expat bar?

3. F-6 visa does not mean automatic riches.  I know many F6's who make no more than regular E2s.   Beware of the people on these forums who love to exaggerate their income.   Many are full of it.



This is why you talk about things before you get married.

Kids, moving and jobs should be talked about before the knot gets tied.

I never get the people who marry and then get divorced because of kids and moving.

Lots of Koreans men and women will say they want to leave Korea up until the point it becomes a reality.  Then its you want to change me or I want to stay close to my family.

If your potential spouse doesnt feel the same about kids and moving as you then honestly break up now, its better than a divorce two years later.


  • stoat
  • Hero of Waygookistan

    • 1733

    • March 05, 2019, 06:36:13 pm
    • seoul
Re: Marrying a Korean Public School teacher?
« Reply #35 on: October 23, 2019, 07:19:39 am »
Do you want to be in your 40s and 50's hanging out with people who are 25 at the expat bar?
Depends on who you are. If you're cool with banter and you know what people wanna talk about, you'll fit right in.
Indeed.

Do you wanna be 50 and hang out with 55-60 year olds who talk about retirement, pains, children and b****ing about young people, or stay interested in the times and feel still thirtysomething, age being just a number.

As a 50 year old i feel totally different when with thirtysomethings than fiftysomethings. I much prefer the former.

If age is just a number you shouldn't really be stereotyping 55-60 year olds. 


  • hilsoo
  • Newgookin

    • 3

    • December 08, 2015, 08:01:13 am
    • south korea
Re: Marrying a Korean Public School teacher?
« Reply #36 on: October 23, 2019, 07:55:20 am »
Congrats OP.

Perhaps you two could look into moving to Jeju. That way, she gets to keep her public school job, you get to work at an international school (visa free) and make some real money.
Congrats OP.

Perhaps you two could look into moving to Jeju. That way, she gets to keep her public school job, you get to work at an international school (visa free) and make some real money.

In a few years (with her raises) your combined yearly income would be well over 100mil...plus the advantage of living in a largely pollution-free environment.

But Id make sure I get an offer first before making that move though.
In a few years (with her raises) your combined yearly income would be well over 100mil...plus the advantage of living in a largely pollution-free environment.

But Id make sure I get an offer first before making that move though.

Thank you for suggestions at congrats. The thing is she can't move to jeju or any other city/province, unless special requirements are met or she takes the teacher test again for that city/province. (she has no intention to move anywhere else or take the test again) My whole conundrum was that I am pretty much restricted to live and work in this city/province. (without commuting or weekend couple, which is what we are doing now) Its good that I am working at an international/foreign school, but it's an hour and 15 min drive from our place. I'm waiting for one school that is close by for a certain position (my teaching cert) to open up. (super competitive for that spot to...)  I have my short term plans somewhat figured out, but not sure how it'll turn out. to be continued ...


Re: Marrying a Korean Public School teacher?
« Reply #37 on: October 23, 2019, 08:03:45 am »
Congrats, OP. Next year will be my 6th year of marriage (not to a Korean), but here's my advice.

1 - Make sure you both are completely on the same page for your short, medium and long-term plans.
2 - Discuss whether you'll have kids, if so, when. If neither of you can reach an agreement here, the marriage will almost certainly
      fail.
3 - If you're having kids, how will you raise them (Education, Hagwons, Religion etc.) again, make sure you're on the same page.
4 - Discuss pre-nups and/or what happens should you both split... uncomfortable, yes, but marriage is essentially a contract and
     this is a very important clause.
5 - With spouses from Asian, Indian and Middle-Eastern backgrounds, you're marrying the family just as much as you're marrying
     your spouse, assuming they're relatively traditional. Unlike Western cultures, where the wife/husband will take the side of
     their spouse over their parents, the backgrounds I mentioned are usually the reverse.
6 - You could certainly stick with teaching public school till you're 60, if that's what you want. I'm almost certain your POE will
     keep renewing you. Poor health seems to be the only reason they wouldn't renew a teacher.

Remember, neither of you are individuals anymore. You both function and work for the happiness of your family. 


  • oglop
  • The Legend

    • 4323

    • August 25, 2011, 07:24:54 pm
    • Seoul
Re: Marrying a Korean Public School teacher?
« Reply #38 on: October 23, 2019, 09:15:13 am »

3. F-6 visa does not mean automatic riches.  I know many F6's who make no more than regular E2s.   Beware of the people on these forums who love to exaggerate their income.   Many are full of it.

how much you earn simply depends on how hard you wanna work (and if you live in seoul or not). but it does open more doors, for sure


  • Savant
  • The Legend

    • 2428

    • April 07, 2012, 11:35:31 pm
Re: Marrying a Korean Public School teacher?
« Reply #39 on: October 23, 2019, 09:46:55 am »

3. F-6 visa does not mean automatic riches.  I know many F6's who make no more than regular E2s.   Beware of the people on these forums who love to exaggerate their income.   Many are full of it.

how much you earn simply depends on how hard you wanna work (and if you live in seoul or not). but it does open more doors, for sure

I'm happy with my easy 9-5 schedule making 3.2 million post tax. Wife wanted me to do more teaching but I pretty much enjoy my free time. I didn't want to get burned out so I said "I'll add an after school class if you want to do more of the house work that I do because I come earlier."

Still, finishing at 5.