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  • minmei
  • Waygookin

    • 20

    • January 10, 2019, 01:09:29 am
Is my coteacher being unreasonable?
« on: July 18, 2019, 11:44:57 am »
Prior to signing my contract, my school sent me a sample lesson that I had to present in the interview. It was a powerpoint game. So, I created my own powerpoint game and demonstrated it. The school was satisfied and offered me the contract. However, after signing the contract, my coteacher informed me that powerpoint games were not allowed. She wanted physical games. This didn't bother me at all.
 
However, she demands that each day the game must be entirely unique. We can never repeat a game ever. The games must be highly creative and unique. This school doesn't offer me many materials besides dice, cups and chalkboards. Overall, I think I do a good job of keeping the games fresh. However, if the games have a slight similarity, my co teacher will go on a rampage. She'll shout, call me lazy, roll her eyes etc.. She has done this infront of the students. To make the situation more frustrating, she refuses to preconfirm the game before class.

 

She says she doesn't care what I do, its not her business. However, in the classroom infront of the kids, she doesn't hesitate to show her disapproval if the game doesn't suit her standards. But she refuses to explain to me what her standards are beforehand. I'm tired of being verbally abused in class like a child. Has anyone ever experienced a co teacher like this? Any suggestions?


Re: Is my coteacher being unreasonable?
« Reply #1 on: July 19, 2019, 01:23:01 pm »
I've been here 5 years and I've never experienced that. It's July and I assume you started in March. Why are you just now trying to handle this? Incidents like this need to be nipped in the bud immediately.  You've given up a lot of ground because most likely she has been testing you ever since you started. The fact that she is now yelling and shouting at you shows that she has absolutely no respect for you and isn't afraid to use you as a doormat. I hate to sound negative, but you need to grow a spine. You are making about 2 grand a month. Is it really worth tolerating a grown adult yelling at you? Draw a line in the sand and if you have to go out on your shield then so be it.  She senses that you are weak and now she is taking out on you. Most likely her life sucks and you just happen to be lower on the pecking order. If they wanted a highly qualified teacher then they could pay them a decent wage, but sometimes they hire people and pay them peanuts and would rather complain. Don't EVER let someone openly disrespect you like this.


  • CO2
  • The Legend

    • 4664

    • March 02, 2015, 03:41:14 pm
    • Gunpo
    more
Re: Is my coteacher being unreasonable?
« Reply #2 on: July 19, 2019, 02:47:14 pm »
Tell her to make her own fukking games then.

I had a teacher who wouldn't make any games. Now, I don't mind finding and making the activities for class, that's fine.

But when you don't make ANYTHING, don't you bloody well sigh and roll your eyes when I'm explaining how the game works. Like I did a shit job. If my job is shit, then you bloody show me a game, cont.

I'm a pretty reasonable guy, and it takes a lot to set me off but I REALLY, REALLY wanted to punch her as hard as I could in the nose.  F that woman.
The joys of fauxtherhood


  • Aristocrat
  • Hero of Waygookistan

    • 1839

    • November 10, 2014, 01:04:27 pm
Re: Is my coteacher being unreasonable?
« Reply #3 on: July 19, 2019, 03:08:14 pm »
I've been here 5 years and I've never experienced that. It's July and I assume you started in March. Why are you just now trying to handle this? Incidents like this need to be nipped in the bud immediately.  You've given up a lot of ground because most likely she has been testing you ever since you started. The fact that she is now yelling and shouting at you shows that she has absolutely no respect for you and isn't afraid to use you as a doormat. I hate to sound negative, but you need to grow a spine. You are making about 2 grand a month. Is it really worth tolerating a grown adult yelling at you? Draw a line in the sand and if you have to go out on your shield then so be it.  She senses that you are weak and now she is taking out on you. Most likely her life sucks and you just happen to be lower on the pecking order. If they wanted a highly qualified teacher then they could pay them a decent wage, but sometimes they hire people and pay them peanuts and would rather complain. Don't EVER let someone openly disrespect you like this.

I'm going to try and explain things in detail as writing makes the clock tick faster and I want to go home.

We've all been newbies. Your CT is doing what I've experienced on multiple occasions and heard about countless times.

In Korean culture, "face" or image is arguably the single most prominent cultural component around which every aspect of Korean society orbits around. At the workplace, oftentimes, the importance of "face" is injected with steroids.

For years, English proficiency has been used as a metric for intelligence, prestige and social status. A rather pathetic curriculum from elementary school to university means that it's highly likely that your CT doesn't feel confident in her English ability or is in fact bad at English.

Many Korean teachers are quite bitter that we are in the classroom with them as our very presence screams the message that they are NOT proficient enough in English to teach without our assistance.  Of course, some ESL teachers are completely flakey and some CTs are phenomenal teachers (very few IMO), but this doesn't change the fact that we're there and the students see and know this.

There is no doubt that your CT feels insecure and is trying to undermine your authority to let the world know that SHE is the one in charge. Even assuming that your games are shite, a Korean teacher would NEVER challenge another Korean teachers competence in front of the students, it would be a massive loss of face and a massive insult.
As said by SuperDoodle, she's been testing you from the start, this is pretty much the textbook approach for these types of individuals; they test you to see how much they can get away with and before you know it, they're treating you like their b*tch.

As said, you're probably new and didn't want to offend people in a new culture, completely understandable, the exact same thing happened to me.

Only way to get out of it is to take a stand, right now.

- First, insulting you in front of the students is OUT OF THE QUESTION. If she does it again, stop your class, walk out and usher her to follow you. In the hallway, explain that you will not tolerate insults and will lodge a formal complaint if she does it again. Defamation laws are no joke, in Korea, as reputation is EVERYTHING and insulting your professional competence in front of students who'll likely tell their parents is something that can have serious consequences if you have proof. She'll likely deny everything if you complain so I'd suggest you secretly set up your phone to record it when it does happen. Don't show her the evidence, just be ready to use it should the need arise.

- If she pre-approves your activities, she can't criticize them during class. She's being ambiguous, evasive and uncooperative for a  reason, she wants to insult you and assert herself in front of an audience. She's looking to save her reputation. It was never about your games are activities. You could figure out a way to push every one of your student's English ability to native level, within a week, and she'd still complain.
 
- She isn't your superior, at a professional or cultural level (since I take it that you aren't Korean).

- Korea is changing pretty rapidly and workplace bullying is getting media attention and starting to carry repercussions. 2008, she could easily get away with her behaviour, now, not so simple. Show her that you're clued up on how things work in Korea and you're not as helpless as you seem.

- Bullying happens everywhere in Korean culture. What rarely happens is a bully continuing to bully someone who fights back.

You're not going to get out of this without confronting her.


  • pkjh
  • Hero of Waygookistan

    • 1547

    • May 02, 2012, 02:59:44 pm
Re: Is my coteacher being unreasonable?
« Reply #4 on: July 19, 2019, 11:07:48 pm »
Just wondering if you're in a public school? I've been here a long time, and have never encountered a public school teacher outright criticizing me in the classroom in front of students. I've had animated conversations, aka arguments, in the office but never in the middle of class.


  • NorthStar
  • Expert Waygook

    • 607

    • July 05, 2017, 10:54:06 am
    • Seoul
Re: Is my coteacher being unreasonable?
« Reply #5 on: July 20, 2019, 08:45:36 pm »
Just wondering if you're in a public school? I've been here a long time, and have never encountered a public school teacher outright criticizing me in the classroom in front of students. I've had animated conversations, aka arguments, in the office but never in the middle of class.

I think, it is quite obvious the scene is NOT in some academy.

But, hey!  Congratulations to you, for being LUCKY. ....seriously. 


Re: Is my coteacher being unreasonable?
« Reply #6 on: July 21, 2019, 11:25:10 am »
Just wondering if you're in a public school? I've been here a long time, and have never encountered a public school teacher outright criticizing me in the classroom in front of students. I've had animated conversations, aka arguments, in the office but never in the middle of class.

I've always worked public schools, and I've had at least one KT (not always a coT, though) not only try to criticize me but also try to outright disrespect me in front of students at every single one of them. I never, ever let them get away with it, and they quickly learn to leave me alone (one coT even chose to stop coming to my class because there was no salvaging our relationship after the shit he tried to pull), but it doesn't ever stop new assholes from confusing my friendliness for weakness, or old assholes confusing familiarity with the same, and choosing to overstep themselves. I have been lucky in that there are either witnesses willing to speak up in my defense, or the shit that those KTs say contradict enough facts to out themselves, but it's something I've learned to expect. I've got stories for days, and I'm nowhere near one of the hardest cases here.

Your experience isn't universal, and public schools aren't immune to inhinged people who'll push boundaries if they think they can get away with it. If you've gotten into outright arguments in the office, that's probably where many of those types decided you couldn't be bullied in the classroom.
« Last Edit: July 21, 2019, 02:42:44 pm by Chinguetti »


  • Piggydee
  • The Legend

    • 2602

    • October 15, 2013, 07:32:43 am
    • South Korea
Re: Is my coteacher being unreasonable?
« Reply #7 on: July 22, 2019, 07:46:52 am »
First of all, before the start of the semester I have a firm "I will not correct you (aka yell at you) in front of the students and you will not do the same to me" rule.  If there is something I'm doing wrong correct me in a positive manner as so the kids will not think we are having a disagreement.  We do not want the children losing respect for either of us.  (Believe me, don't be afraid to lay down this ground rule from the start, I've worked at hakwons where the higher ups would yell at me in front of the students and then the students lose all respect for me and walk all over me)  You have to really drive this point home.  Plus, I'd also add that we need to be a safe haven for the kids because us yelling might add to traumatic experiences that they might be facing at home.  So let's do less of that for kids that already deal with it on a personal level. 

With that being said, ask her if she'd like to help you make some games.  And tell her there is nothing wrong with recycling a game once a month because that way the kids have an easier time playing a game that they are familiar with.  Sometimes playing a brand new game all the time can be stressful for both you and the students because if students aren't comfortable with the rules of the game they will go off and talk in Korean and/or throw the game materials around because they don't know what's expected of them.   When children are comfortable with a game and if it's a game they are familiar with then the game is much more enjoyable for both the teacher and the student.  So let's say playing a "SPY game" for the second time in a month is not a bad thing just so long as you use different vocabulary.  Or using an evolution game but instead of being coming a King at the final level you have to "Fight the Monster Teacher" at the end with a game of rock,scissors, paper.  Don't be afraid to recycle UNO, board games and other physical games but just tweek them so they appear new. 

I don't know what her problem is or how often you teach with her or your classes but having to come up with over 200 different style of games for every damn day you teach is FREAKING INSANE!!  PLUS NOT TO MENTION not all games are going to be a hit with the kids.  I recently made a paper doll puzzle game for a chapter about appearance and clothes (He has short curly hair.) I had coated and cut out 18 pieces for 7 groups.  126 pieces I had to cut out for this game.  Out of the 112 kids I teach for my morning classes, I still had a few "NO JAMS"  (재미 없어) in the class.  Most of the kids were eager to listen and put together the people I said, while others would rather be anywhere else doing anything else than what I had presented.  So what!  We're going to get docked for that!!!  Please!!  Sometimes I try not to go all out for these game (making question cards, individual game pieces etc) just for all of it and all of the time and effort you put into it to be underappreciated.  Tell your teacher that making fresh new games is not easy and if she wants she needs to contribute more towards helping to make games that she deems appropriate and exciting for the kids.  Otherwise, tell her if you want something done right, do it your own self!!   >:(
« Last Edit: July 22, 2019, 07:53:28 am by Piggydee »


  • CO2
  • The Legend

    • 4664

    • March 02, 2015, 03:41:14 pm
    • Gunpo
    more
Re: Is my coteacher being unreasonable?
« Reply #8 on: July 22, 2019, 08:29:16 am »
tell her there is nothing wrong with recycling a game once a month because that way the kids have an easier time playing a game that they are familiar with. 

Yeah, I do this often, especially with different grades. Some teachers don't get it right away. haha

 :-* Kevin T, we already did this game with the grade 5 classes.

 :police: The Grade 6 students don't know that. It's new for them,

 :-* Ahhhh, right.


It's easy to get familiar with the games as a teacher, especially at a big school. You do the same lesson 4 times and assume that everyone knows about the inner workings of it. The students see you only so many times per week, while you see all the students all week. It's important to remember that what is routine for you is not well established and well run through with the students necessarily.
The joys of fauxtherhood


  • minmei
  • Waygookin

    • 20

    • January 10, 2019, 01:09:29 am
Re: Is my coteacher being unreasonable?
« Reply #9 on: July 22, 2019, 08:39:57 am »
I've been here 5 years and I've never experienced that. It's July and I assume you started in March. Why are you just now trying to handle this? Incidents like this need to be nipped in the bud immediately.  You've given up a lot of ground because most likely she has been testing you ever since you started. The fact that she is now yelling and shouting at you shows that she has absolutely no respect for you and isn't afraid to use you as a doormat. I hate to sound negative, but you need to grow a spine. You are making about 2 grand a month. Is it really worth tolerating a grown adult yelling at you? Draw a line in the sand and if you have to go out on your shield then so be it.  She senses that you are weak and now she is taking out on you. Most likely her life sucks and you just happen to be lower on the pecking order. If they wanted a highly qualified teacher then they could pay them a decent wage, but sometimes they hire people and pay them peanuts and would rather complain. Don't EVER let someone openly disrespect you like this.


I t
Just wondering if you're in a public school? I've been here a long time, and have never encountered a public school teacher outright criticizing me in the classroom in front of students. I've had animated conversations, aka arguments, in the office but never in the middle of class.


Yes, I am in a public school.


  • Piggydee
  • The Legend

    • 2602

    • October 15, 2013, 07:32:43 am
    • South Korea
Re: Is my coteacher being unreasonable?
« Reply #10 on: July 22, 2019, 08:46:07 am »

Yes, I am in a public school.

Yeah I know a couple of people that are having a doozy of a time with their co-teachers.  Almost at hakwon level proportions.  Like someone said earlier, it's not unheard of to work with difficult people at the public school level.  I was even told a story at my EPIK orientation about a guy who had a co-teacher who didn't like how he wrote letters on the board and told him to go sit down because "he wasn't prepared for class" YEAH THAT IS SO NEXT LEVEL GTFO ish right there! :-O


  • minmei
  • Waygookin

    • 20

    • January 10, 2019, 01:09:29 am
Re: Is my coteacher being unreasonable?
« Reply #11 on: July 22, 2019, 08:52:05 am »
I've been here 5 years and I've never experienced that. It's July and I assume you started in March. Why are you just now trying to handle this? Incidents like this need to be nipped in the bud immediately.  You've given up a lot of ground because most likely she has been testing you ever since you started. The fact that she is now yelling and shouting at you shows that she has absolutely no respect for you and isn't afraid to use you as a doormat. I hate to sound negative, but you need to grow a spine. You are making about 2 grand a month. Is it really worth tolerating a grown adult yelling at you? Draw a line in the sand and if you have to go out on your shield then so be it.  She senses that you are weak and now she is taking out on you. Most likely her life sucks and you just happen to be lower on the pecking order. If they wanted a highly qualified teacher then they could pay them a decent wage, but sometimes they hire people and pay them peanuts and would rather complain. Don't EVER let someone openly disrespect you like this.


Thanks so much for your advice and support ! I think age has a big factor to do with this. This woman is 57. It's hard to argue with a woman older than my mother. Even though she can be verbally abusive, I just can't bring myself to  get on that level with an elder. She takes full advantage of this.


  • NorthStar
  • Expert Waygook

    • 607

    • July 05, 2017, 10:54:06 am
    • Seoul
Re: Is my coteacher being unreasonable?
« Reply #12 on: July 22, 2019, 09:27:30 am »
Quote
Thanks so much for your advice and support ! I think age has a big factor to do with this. This woman is 57. It's hard to argue with a woman older than my mother. Even though she can be verbally abusive, I just can't bring myself to  get on that level with an elder. She takes full advantage of this.

If you are not going to stand up for yourself, don't complain about it. 


  • Piggydee
  • The Legend

    • 2602

    • October 15, 2013, 07:32:43 am
    • South Korea
Re: Is my coteacher being unreasonable?
« Reply #13 on: July 22, 2019, 09:36:18 am »
I've been here 5 years and I've never experienced that. It's July and I assume you started in March. Why are you just now trying to handle this? Incidents like this need to be nipped in the bud immediately.  You've given up a lot of ground because most likely she has been testing you ever since you started. The fact that she is now yelling and shouting at you shows that she has absolutely no respect for you and isn't afraid to use you as a doormat. I hate to sound negative, but you need to grow a spine. You are making about 2 grand a month. Is it really worth tolerating a grown adult yelling at you? Draw a line in the sand and if you have to go out on your shield then so be it.  She senses that you are weak and now she is taking out on you. Most likely her life sucks and you just happen to be lower on the pecking order. If they wanted a highly qualified teacher then they could pay them a decent wage, but sometimes they hire people and pay them peanuts and would rather complain. Don't EVER let someone openly disrespect you like this.


Thanks so much for your advice and support ! I think age has a big factor to do with this. This woman is 57. It's hard to argue with a woman older than my mother. Even though she can be verbally abusive, I just can't bring myself to  get on that level with an elder. She takes full advantage of this.

Have to tried reaching out to your EPIK or school coordinator about this situation.  If you plan on staying at that same school the next year it's probably best you get a new co-teacher or probably move schools. 


  • Aristocrat
  • Hero of Waygookistan

    • 1839

    • November 10, 2014, 01:04:27 pm
Re: Is my coteacher being unreasonable?
« Reply #14 on: July 22, 2019, 10:05:40 am »
I've been here 5 years and I've never experienced that. It's July and I assume you started in March. Why are you just now trying to handle this? Incidents like this need to be nipped in the bud immediately.  You've given up a lot of ground because most likely she has been testing you ever since you started. The fact that she is now yelling and shouting at you shows that she has absolutely no respect for you and isn't afraid to use you as a doormat. I hate to sound negative, but you need to grow a spine. You are making about 2 grand a month. Is it really worth tolerating a grown adult yelling at you? Draw a line in the sand and if you have to go out on your shield then so be it.  She senses that you are weak and now she is taking out on you. Most likely her life sucks and you just happen to be lower on the pecking order. If they wanted a highly qualified teacher then they could pay them a decent wage, but sometimes they hire people and pay them peanuts and would rather complain. Don't EVER let someone openly disrespect you like this.


Thanks so much for your advice and support ! I think age has a big factor to do with this. This woman is 57. It's hard to argue with a woman older than my mother. Even though she can be verbally abusive, I just can't bring myself to  get on that level with an elder. She takes full advantage of this.

Hopefully, most of us have been raised to respect our elders. However, a transition needs to take place when one reaches adulthood. You have to be ready to confront someone, no matter their age.

At 57, this woman sounds very old-school, when age was all that mattered. It's pretty standard practice that as HR teachers  age, they become head teachers, then VPs and finally principles, before retiring. She's probably a contract teacher and only HR teachers can climb the ladder. Contract teachers are stuck where they are. She's likely extremely bitter that she's stuck where she is at her age and, in textbook fashion, vents her frustration by bullying someone who sure considers a soft target.

Either way, you know what to do.


  • pkjh
  • Hero of Waygookistan

    • 1547

    • May 02, 2012, 02:59:44 pm
Re: Is my coteacher being unreasonable?
« Reply #15 on: July 22, 2019, 03:01:51 pm »
It's pretty standard practice that as HR teachers  age, they become head teachers, then VPs and finally principles, before retiring.
Ahh, most teachers will not make to VP. Only 1 principal, and 1 vice-principal per school, and rotated out every few years, and that's in the public schools. In those public-private schools you usually need to be related to the owner somehow to get promoted. Of course you can also become a Janghaksa (supervisor), which is considered the equivalent as a VP. For most "head-teacher" is pretty much the peak you can aim for. And that isn't alway guaranteed every single year when you do actually become one for a year. But at least when you get raises, it never goes down. So even though you don't have the title of head-teacher, you might get paid the same.


  • bb459
  • Veteran

    • 125

    • March 02, 2019, 06:19:42 pm
    • South Korea
Re: Is my coteacher being unreasonable?
« Reply #16 on: July 22, 2019, 03:18:56 pm »
Quote
Thanks so much for your advice and support ! I think age has a big factor to do with this. This woman is 57. It's hard to argue with a woman older than my mother. Even though she can be verbally abusive, I just can't bring myself to  get on that level with an elder. She takes full advantage of this.

If you are not going to stand up for yourself, don't complain about it. 

bruh who are you? do you have any sympathy or empathy or manners?
this post doesn't concern you in any way.
offer a solution, something productive, a helpful perspective
or keep it moving.


  • hangook77
  • Hero of Waygookistan

    • 1231

    • September 14, 2017, 09:10:12 am
    • Near Busan
Re: Is my coteacher being unreasonable?
« Reply #17 on: July 23, 2019, 08:10:05 am »
I've been here 5 years and I've never experienced that. It's July and I assume you started in March. Why are you just now trying to handle this? Incidents like this need to be nipped in the bud immediately.  You've given up a lot of ground because most likely she has been testing you ever since you started. The fact that she is now yelling and shouting at you shows that she has absolutely no respect for you and isn't afraid to use you as a doormat. I hate to sound negative, but you need to grow a spine. You are making about 2 grand a month. Is it really worth tolerating a grown adult yelling at you? Draw a line in the sand and if you have to go out on your shield then so be it.  She senses that you are weak and now she is taking out on you. Most likely her life sucks and you just happen to be lower on the pecking order. If they wanted a highly qualified teacher then they could pay them a decent wage, but sometimes they hire people and pay them peanuts and would rather complain. Don't EVER let someone openly disrespect you like this.

I'm going to try and explain things in detail as writing makes the clock tick faster and I want to go home.

We've all been newbies. Your CT is doing what I've experienced on multiple occasions and heard about countless times.

In Korean culture, "face" or image is arguably the single most prominent cultural component around which every aspect of Korean society orbits around. At the workplace, oftentimes, the importance of "face" is injected with steroids.

For years, English proficiency has been used as a metric for intelligence, prestige and social status. A rather pathetic curriculum from elementary school to university means that it's highly likely that your CT doesn't feel confident in her English ability or is in fact bad at English.

Many Korean teachers are quite bitter that we are in the classroom with them as our very presence screams the message that they are NOT proficient enough in English to teach without our assistance.  Of course, some ESL teachers are completely flakey and some CTs are phenomenal teachers (very few IMO), but this doesn't change the fact that we're there and the students see and know this.

There is no doubt that your CT feels insecure and is trying to undermine your authority to let the world know that SHE is the one in charge. Even assuming that your games are shite, a Korean teacher would NEVER challenge another Korean teachers competence in front of the students, it would be a massive loss of face and a massive insult.
As said by SuperDoodle, she's been testing you from the start, this is pretty much the textbook approach for these types of individuals; they test you to see how much they can get away with and before you know it, they're treating you like their b*tch.

As said, you're probably new and didn't want to offend people in a new culture, completely understandable, the exact same thing happened to me.

Only way to get out of it is to take a stand, right now.

- First, insulting you in front of the students is OUT OF THE QUESTION. If she does it again, stop your class, walk out and usher her to follow you. In the hallway, explain that you will not tolerate insults and will lodge a formal complaint if she does it again. Defamation laws are no joke, in Korea, as reputation is EVERYTHING and insulting your professional competence in front of students who'll likely tell their parents is something that can have serious consequences if you have proof. She'll likely deny everything if you complain so I'd suggest you secretly set up your phone to record it when it does happen. Don't show her the evidence, just be ready to use it should the need arise.

- If she pre-approves your activities, she can't criticize them during class. She's being ambiguous, evasive and uncooperative for a  reason, she wants to insult you and assert herself in front of an audience. She's looking to save her reputation. It was never about your games are activities. You could figure out a way to push every one of your student's English ability to native level, within a week, and she'd still complain.
 
- She isn't your superior, at a professional or cultural level (since I take it that you aren't Korean).

- Korea is changing pretty rapidly and workplace bullying is getting media attention and starting to carry repercussions. 2008, she could easily get away with her behaviour, now, not so simple. Show her that you're clued up on how things work in Korea and you're not as helpless as you seem.

- Bullying happens everywhere in Korean culture. What rarely happens is a bully continuing to bully someone who fights back.

You're not going to get out of this without confronting her.

A new law is being passed in relations to bullying isn't it?  Look into that.  Document each incident and file a complaint against her.


  • hangook77
  • Hero of Waygookistan

    • 1231

    • September 14, 2017, 09:10:12 am
    • Near Busan
Re: Is my coteacher being unreasonable?
« Reply #18 on: July 23, 2019, 08:10:31 am »
I've been here 5 years and I've never experienced that. It's July and I assume you started in March. Why are you just now trying to handle this? Incidents like this need to be nipped in the bud immediately.  You've given up a lot of ground because most likely she has been testing you ever since you started. The fact that she is now yelling and shouting at you shows that she has absolutely no respect for you and isn't afraid to use you as a doormat. I hate to sound negative, but you need to grow a spine. You are making about 2 grand a month. Is it really worth tolerating a grown adult yelling at you? Draw a line in the sand and if you have to go out on your shield then so be it.  She senses that you are weak and now she is taking out on you. Most likely her life sucks and you just happen to be lower on the pecking order. If they wanted a highly qualified teacher then they could pay them a decent wage, but sometimes they hire people and pay them peanuts and would rather complain. Don't EVER let someone openly disrespect you like this.

I'm going to try and explain things in detail as writing makes the clock tick faster and I want to go home.

We've all been newbies. Your CT is doing what I've experienced on multiple occasions and heard about countless times.

In Korean culture, "face" or image is arguably the single most prominent cultural component around which every aspect of Korean society orbits around. At the workplace, oftentimes, the importance of "face" is injected with steroids.

For years, English proficiency has been used as a metric for intelligence, prestige and social status. A rather pathetic curriculum from elementary school to university means that it's highly likely that your CT doesn't feel confident in her English ability or is in fact bad at English.

Many Korean teachers are quite bitter that we are in the classroom with them as our very presence screams the message that they are NOT proficient enough in English to teach without our assistance.  Of course, some ESL teachers are completely flakey and some CTs are phenomenal teachers (very few IMO), but this doesn't change the fact that we're there and the students see and know this.

There is no doubt that your CT feels insecure and is trying to undermine your authority to let the world know that SHE is the one in charge. Even assuming that your games are shite, a Korean teacher would NEVER challenge another Korean teachers competence in front of the students, it would be a massive loss of face and a massive insult.
As said by SuperDoodle, she's been testing you from the start, this is pretty much the textbook approach for these types of individuals; they test you to see how much they can get away with and before you know it, they're treating you like their b*tch.

As said, you're probably new and didn't want to offend people in a new culture, completely understandable, the exact same thing happened to me.

Only way to get out of it is to take a stand, right now.

- First, insulting you in front of the students is OUT OF THE QUESTION. If she does it again, stop your class, walk out and usher her to follow you. In the hallway, explain that you will not tolerate insults and will lodge a formal complaint if she does it again. Defamation laws are no joke, in Korea, as reputation is EVERYTHING and insulting your professional competence in front of students who'll likely tell their parents is something that can have serious consequences if you have proof. She'll likely deny everything if you complain so I'd suggest you secretly set up your phone to record it when it does happen. Don't show her the evidence, just be ready to use it should the need arise.

- If she pre-approves your activities, she can't criticize them during class. She's being ambiguous, evasive and uncooperative for a  reason, she wants to insult you and assert herself in front of an audience. She's looking to save her reputation. It was never about your games are activities. You could figure out a way to push every one of your student's English ability to native level, within a week, and she'd still complain.
 
- She isn't your superior, at a professional or cultural level (since I take it that you aren't Korean).

- Korea is changing pretty rapidly and workplace bullying is getting media attention and starting to carry repercussions. 2008, she could easily get away with her behaviour, now, not so simple. Show her that you're clued up on how things work in Korea and you're not as helpless as you seem.

- Bullying happens everywhere in Korean culture. What rarely happens is a bully continuing to bully someone who fights back.

You're not going to get out of this without confronting her.

A new law is being passed in relations to bullying isn't it?  Look into that.  Document each incident and file a complaint against her.


  • NorthStar
  • Expert Waygook

    • 607

    • July 05, 2017, 10:54:06 am
    • Seoul
Re: Is my coteacher being unreasonable?
« Reply #19 on: July 24, 2019, 03:32:03 pm »
Quote
bruh who are you? do you have any sympathy or empathy or manners?
this post doesn't concern you in any way.
offer a solution, something productive, a helpful perspective
or keep it moving.

Look sis, there was no attack on the OP on my part. My statement is easy to grasp....if one is not going to stand up for him/herself,  don't complain.