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  • hangook77
  • Hero of Waygookistan

    • 1593

    • September 14, 2017, 09:10:12 am
    • Near Busan
Re: Being "out" in Korea
« Reply #40 on: June 21, 2019, 02:24:42 pm »
Yeah, I think it's going to be another 20 years before you can come out here.  I'd keep it a secret here.  Some parents finding out from the kids and calling the school to complain will prob mean you thrown under the bus.  I am guessing either return home, weekend jaunts to Seoul, or being alone.  If it makes you feel any better, even us straight expats a decade ago faced a similar dilemma.  If we dated a local Korean girl, we had to keep it secret, go to Seoul, or go without.  I do know in some cities near the motel district at the right time in the evening, I have occasionally seen Korean lesbians holding hands going to their room. 

"straight expats" don't have the same struggle as this. at all. period.
one post isn't about you. and that's okay. you can offer your support without also having to re-center the post to make it about you.
in 2020 can we understand, accept and apply this? please?

Can we not have a person twist around words and meaning making it about your scorn and condescension?  Thanks.  If you didn't live here 10 or 15 years ago and didn't know what it's like, don't claim to know how it was here.  Thanks. 

It's a public discussion board for folks to give their opinions.  Thanks. 


  • LIC
  • Expert Waygook

    • 729

    • February 15, 2019, 04:39:00 pm
    • NE Hemisphere
Re: Being "out" in Korea
« Reply #41 on: June 26, 2019, 09:39:06 am »
Thank you everyone for your replies....BB459 thanks for your words of encouragement and empathy, foremost. 

My post wasn't about wanting to come out to Korea with a flag held high, as I've been here for a while and I know the outcome.  It was asking if anyone has come out successfully here in Korea...as I am having a hard time lying to everyone around and being someone I'm not.

For the people who said (more or less).. "gay people don't need to show their pride so flamboyantly" or "people don't need to know what's going on in your bedroom"....can you please just shut the **** up!  As if I would explain what's going on in my bedroom to any of my coworkers or anyone for that matter.   Its about being honest about liking girls...not what I do in the bedroom.  You take for granted you can casually say "Ahhh my gf/bf and I did this on the weekend or I think this actor/actress is my type"....Its not about bringing the bedroom out for everyone to see..????  How dare you!!!   

Its about being honest and having truthful and meaningful conversations with people that are very very honest with me about their daily lives, yetI have to hold a part of myself back.  My sexuality isn't WHO i am.  For the person who said  (more or less)...
Thank you everyone for your replies....BB459 thanks for your words of encouragement and empathy, foremost. 

My post wasn't about wanting to come out to Korea with a flag held high, as I've been here for a while and I know the outcome.  It was asking if anyone has come out successfully here in Korea...as I am having a hard time lying to everyone around and being someone I'm not.

For the people who said (more or less).. "gay people don't need to show their pride so flamboyantly" or "people don't need to know what's going on in your bedroom"....can you please just shut the **** up!  As if I would explain what's going on in my bedroom to any of my coworkers or anyone for that matter.   Its about being honest about liking girls...not what I do in the bedroom.  You take for granted you can casually say "Ahhh my gf/bf and I did this on the weekend or I think this actor/actress is my type"....Its not about bringing the bedroom out for everyone to see..????  How dare you!!!   

Its about being honest and having truthful and meaningful conversations with people that are very very honest with me about their daily lives, yetI have to hold a part of myself back.  My sexuality isn't WHO i am.  For the person who said  (more or less)..."gay people make being gay their self identity"  I think its unfair you say that. 

And that's that.

Americans and other westerners have horrible ideas about the lgbt community so I'm not surprised at the responses you got. There's a girl i follow on insta who is an expat teacher like me. She is a Lesbian and she made a story a while back about how she doesn't hide it anymore and feels like she can be open and I think she also met a girl here.

For some reason a lot of non-lgbt people think gay people are just shoving their gayness in everyone's face but have you ever talked to like anyone ever??? Especially foreigners who talk more openly about sex and attraction but only that of the straight variety.

I don't think people that don't have to hide this part of themselves understand what it's like and the majority of people refuse to understand or have empathy for things they cannot relate to.

Anyway, I wish I had more advice.

I do have one thing. In your original post you wrote how you didnt wanna go to that club in itaewon. if you can speak korean, there's like this secret ish app for lesbians (bi women as well) that you could use to make friends with people who you can relate to or even date. Pm me if you want it. I'll have to search for it as I've forgotten the name.
  I think its unfair you say that. 

And that's that.

Americans and other westerners have horrible ideas about the lgbt community so I'm not surprised at the responses you got. There's a girl i follow on insta who is an expat teacher like me. She is a Lesbian and she made a story a while back about how she doesn't hide it anymore and feels like she can be open and I think she also met a girl here.

For some reason a lot of non-lgbt people think gay people are just shoving their gayness in everyone's face but have you ever talked to like anyone ever??? Especially foreigners who talk more openly about sex and attraction but only that of the straight variety.

I don't think people that don't have to hide this part of themselves understand what it's like and the majority of people refuse to understand or have empathy for things they cannot relate to.

Anyway, I wish I had more advice.

I do have one thing. In your original post you wrote how you didnt wanna go to that club in itaewon. if you can speak korean, there's like this secret ish app for lesbians (bi women as well) that you could use to make friends with people who you can relate to or even date. Pm me if you want it. I'll have to search for it as I've forgotten the name.

Well, I'm tri-sexual...I'll try anything as long as it's legal and everyone involved is into it!