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  • debbiem89
  • Super Waygook

    • 489

    • August 30, 2016, 09:42:49 am
    • South Korea
Re: Age difference in relationships
« Reply #180 on: May 16, 2019, 02:23:36 pm »
    Gender studies, dating lessons, sex ed, whatever. I think it's a great idea.
     In a country where the vast majority of young people are brought up by gender segregated schools ( I do actually mean 'by' and not 'in'), having classes that help reintegrate the sexes in universities is something that should have been implemented long ago.
   Anybody who has ever worked in a Korean uni can tell you how absolutely awkward freshman classes are, and how there is almost no interaction at all between males and females. Anything that can help erase this divide is doing everybody a huge favour.

But they don't have ANY sex ed pretty much and it's scary. My Korean friend (early twenties) thinks that while straight people can only catch HIV...gay people are born with it. I shit you not. 

My middle school students are having sex and they have NO idea about anything except pregnancy.

Also yeah mostly co-ed...I did teach in Gyeongsangbuk-do too though and they were largely separated,


  • OnNut81
  • Expert Waygook

    • 739

    • April 01, 2011, 03:01:41 pm
    • Anyang
Re: Age difference in relationships
« Reply #181 on: May 16, 2019, 03:11:19 pm »
I became friends with a 27 year old Korean woman back when I first moved to the city I'm in now.  I knew her from classes in Seoul and we became good platonic friends and she would come hang out at my place for beers and talk.  Anyways, she was a university graduate and confided in me that she had recently started having sex with her boyfriend for both of their first experiences.  She was comfortable enough talking to me about things but we eventually stopped hanging out because her boyfriend was stressed about our meeting.  Anyways, a few months later (we still chatted on Kakao) she sent me a message saying she had sent me a file through email and asked if I could watch it and then explain it to her.  She had already seen it.  It was a BBC documentary on sex and all the various activities and methods.  I never knew what she wanted explained.  They showed everything graphically in this several part series. And, no, she wasn't trying to get me interested.  She often expressed the concern she didn't know how to be good at sex. 

No doubt she's had a kid by now.  I couldn't get her to use condoms or go on the pill (she was convinced that was a death sentence) and they were relying on the pull out method. 


  • debbiem89
  • Super Waygook

    • 489

    • August 30, 2016, 09:42:49 am
    • South Korea
Re: Age difference in relationships
« Reply #182 on: May 16, 2019, 03:26:05 pm »
I became friends with a 27 year old Korean woman back when I first moved to the city I'm in now.  I knew her from classes in Seoul and we became good platonic friends and she would come hang out at my place for beers and talk.  Anyways, she was a university graduate and confided in me that she had recently started having sex with her boyfriend for both of their first experiences.  She was comfortable enough talking to me about things but we eventually stopped hanging out because her boyfriend was stressed about our meeting.  Anyways, a few months later (we still chatted on Kakao) she sent me a message saying she had sent me a file through email and asked if I could watch it and then explain it to her.  She had already seen it.  It was a BBC documentary on sex and all the various activities and methods.  I never knew what she wanted explained.  They showed everything graphically in this several part series. And, no, she wasn't trying to get me interested.  She often expressed the concern she didn't know how to be good at sex. 

No doubt she's had a kid by now.  I couldn't get her to use condoms or go on the pill (she was convinced that was a death sentence) and they were relying on the pull out method. 
It's scary.

Korean guys (from my personal experience):

1. Decide you're on the pill and their penis looks clean so therefore they have no STDs and don't want to use anything else.
2. Decide to make the decision for you that you shouldn't be taking the pill because it's "bad for your health" and demand you stop.
3. A lovely mix of the above...they try to force you to stop taking the pill, while also telling you they're clean and wish to only use the withdrawal method.

It's pretty terrifying and even worse, like with your friend above,  they get away with it.


  • JVPrice
  • Expert Waygook

    • 696

    • August 29, 2017, 10:26:13 am
    • Cheongju
Re: Age difference in relationships
« Reply #183 on: May 16, 2019, 03:30:47 pm »
I became friends with a 27 year old Korean woman back when I first moved to the city I'm in now.  I knew her from classes in Seoul and we became good platonic friends and she would come hang out at my place for beers and talk.  Anyways, she was a university graduate and confided in me that she had recently started having sex with her boyfriend for both of their first experiences.  She was comfortable enough talking to me about things but we eventually stopped hanging out because her boyfriend was stressed about our meeting.  Anyways, a few months later (we still chatted on Kakao) she sent me a message saying she had sent me a file through email and asked if I could watch it and then explain it to her.  She had already seen it.  It was a BBC documentary on sex and all the various activities and methods.  I never knew what she wanted explained.  They showed everything graphically in this several part series. And, no, she wasn't trying to get me interested.  She often expressed the concern she didn't know how to be good at sex. 

No doubt she's had a kid by now.  I couldn't get her to use condoms or go on the pill (she was convinced that was a death sentence) and they were relying on the pull out method. 
It's scary.

Korean guys (from my personal experience):

1. Decide you're on the pill and their penis looks clean so therefore they have no STDs and don't want to use anything else.
2. Decide to make the decision for you that you shouldn't be taking the pill because it's "bad for your health" and demand you stop.
3. A lovely mix of the above...they try to force you to stop taking the pill, while also telling you they're clean and wish to only use the withdrawal method.

It's pretty terrifying and even worse, like with your friend above,  they get away with it.

Not sure how all this is relevant to the topic at hand, but it makes me genuinely curious as to how much Koreans really know about this stuff.

My Korean Ex (and an American friend who used to sleep around) used to tell me how disappointed her friends were with their BFs in that regard.
The World Ends With You


  • pkjh
  • Hero of Waygookistan

    • 1490

    • May 02, 2012, 02:59:44 pm
Re: Age difference in relationships
« Reply #184 on: May 17, 2019, 10:24:29 am »
Maybe it's regional,  as all the middleschools and highschools that I've worked at here in Gyeongsangbukdo are either boys only or girls only. The vast majority of them are, in this province.
From a quick search online, it's apparent thatmore than 50% of middle schools in Korea are gender segregated. I imagine that the percentage of highschools would be similar.


We looking at the same report?
The blue is mixed, and out-number gender segregated schools.

https://www.researchgate.net/figure/Gender-segregation-by-school-type-in-Korea-2006-Source-Republic-of-Korea-Ministry-of_fig3_250151353

Edit: wait the one with the brownish-yellow bar graph might be the students in schools, not the actual physical schools. But still it's barely a majority. But I can't see the details without signing up.
« Last Edit: May 17, 2019, 10:32:05 am by pkjh »


  • kyndo
  • Moderator LVL 1

    • 5033

    • March 03, 2011, 09:45:24 am
    • Gyeongsangbuk-do
Re: Age difference in relationships
« Reply #185 on: May 17, 2019, 12:06:14 pm »
https://www.researchgate.net/figure/Gender-segregation-by-school-type-in-Korea-2006-Source-Republic-of-Korea-Ministry-of_fig3_250151353

Edit: wait the one with the brownish-yellow bar graph might be the students in schools, not the actual physical schools. But still it's barely a majority. But I can't see the details without signing up.
I'm trying to think up how the two very different values might correlate, and I'm guessing you're right: the small graphs look at the number of students who go to segregated schools (53%) in the country, while the graph you linked shows the number of schools that are segregated.
      I was actually a bit surprised that only 53% of middle school students in Korea are in segregated schools, but it makes sense: the trend is for schools to desegregate, and these kinds of trends usually start in the cities. I live out in the boonies in a traditionally conservative area (Gyeongbuk), so they're kinda holding on to old fashioned "keep 'em separated" idea.

Anyway, I suppose I should correct "overwhelmingly segregated" to "the majority being segregated". Learned something new today.  :smiley:
« Last Edit: May 17, 2019, 12:07:58 pm by kyndo »


  • Mezoti97
  • The Legend

    • 2658

    • April 14, 2011, 03:02:50 pm
    • South Korea
Re: Age difference in relationships
« Reply #186 on: May 17, 2019, 12:14:40 pm »
But they don't have ANY sex ed pretty much and it's scary. My Korean friend (early twenties) thinks that while straight people can only catch HIV...gay people are born with it. I shit you not. 

I think Korean elementary school students (or at least 6th graders) do have a sex ed class -- I remember during my first year teaching at my first public elementary school, my co-teacher told me a few times that our English class was cancelled on a particular day because the 6th grade students were attending a sex ed class. Granted, I don't know whether their sex ed class was actually informative/helpful/useful, but there was some kind of sex ed class that they attended, yeah.


  • debbiem89
  • Super Waygook

    • 489

    • August 30, 2016, 09:42:49 am
    • South Korea
Re: Age difference in relationships
« Reply #187 on: May 17, 2019, 12:28:29 pm »
But they don't have ANY sex ed pretty much and it's scary. My Korean friend (early twenties) thinks that while straight people can only catch HIV...gay people are born with it. I shit you not. 

I think Korean elementary school students (or at least 6th graders) do have a sex ed class -- I remember during my first year teaching at my first public elementary school, my co-teacher told me a few times that our English class was cancelled on a particular day because the 6th grade students were attending a sex ed class. Granted, I don't know whether their sex ed class was actually informative/helpful/useful, but there was some kind of sex ed class that they attended, yeah.

Yeah that's why I said "pretty much" is covers barely anything. From what I understand it's basically "this is where babies come from".


  • Mister Tim
  • Hero of Waygookistan

    • 1486

    • September 08, 2013, 10:33:54 am
    • SK
Re: Age difference in relationships
« Reply #188 on: May 17, 2019, 12:58:26 pm »
But they don't have ANY sex ed pretty much and it's scary. My Korean friend (early twenties) thinks that while straight people can only catch HIV...gay people are born with it. I shit you not. 

I think Korean elementary school students (or at least 6th graders) do have a sex ed class -- I remember during my first year teaching at my first public elementary school, my co-teacher told me a few times that our English class was cancelled on a particular day because the 6th grade students were attending a sex ed class. Granted, I don't know whether their sex ed class was actually informative/helpful/useful, but there was some kind of sex ed class that they attended, yeah.

It could be similar to some schools in the US, where there are two phases of Sex Ed:

1) The one you take in late elementary school, which is mostly about puberty and what they need to know/expect. "Your Changing Body," etc. That's what I assume Korean 6th grade Sex Ed covers.

2) The one you take in High School, which is more about reproduction, STDs, and safe sex. That could be the one people are saying Korea lacks, but I really couldn't say one way or the other. I've never taught HS, and I've certainly never talked to any Koreans about sex.



Re: Age difference in relationships
« Reply #189 on: May 17, 2019, 01:24:11 pm »
There's only one place that kid's really learn about sex: On the street. Or I guess in this day and age, that would be on social media/the internet.

Yeah, the class says blah blah blah, but no one will really care. They'll just go home and google something and then watch a youtube vid or get some answer off of Quora or Reddit.

Were you vigorously taking notes in sex ed? Was anything magically revealed? All the "This is your body and where babies come from" stuff was already known or the lame experience of having to label 'Vas Deferens' on a photocopied genitalia picture.

High school, everyone knew everything already by then, what between the early days of internet porn, Skinemax, and people already hooking up.

Sex ed is like banning sales of beer after the 7th inning to send a message about drinking. It's all a bunch of BS so certain people can feel better about themselves and think they're actually doing something. It's just a bunch of empty gestures.

Kids will believe whatever they believe based on their friends and the internet. Nothing will change that.


Re: Age difference in relationships
« Reply #190 on: May 18, 2019, 05:54:03 pm »
What is the reason it is disgusting though? Yeah its not jealousy, but then what is it? And just so we are clear I'm not for or against it.

Is it also disgusting for the 25 year old girl to be ****** a 40 year old man? Or only the 40 year old man ****** the 25 year old girl.

There are different reasons, but the most common are all related to what people associate with that type of relationship: exploitation. I have to reiterate again that these aren't necessarily my views, I'm just sharing some of the reasons why some people are against it. I personally don't have any issues with it as long as everyone involved are legal and consenting adults, and no one is stringing anyone along.

Here are examples of the types of exploitation that might come to some people's minds:

1) Prostitution -- Many often associate much older men dating much younger women with a sugar baby/sugar daddy type of setup, and most people view that type of setup as another form of prostitution (if sex is involved, which it often is). Even with people who see nothing wrong with prostitution in and of itself, they find actually engaging in it as abhorrent, especially when they feel like someone is taking advantage of the other.

2) Incest/pedophilia -- Even when the two aren't related and everyone involved are grown adults, a lot of people can't help viewing older men as filling father figure type roles, and the idea of an older man dating someone who could be his daughter or granddaughter fills people with that type of imagery. This is further compounded when people project their own feelings -- as in, this is how they view others much younger than themselves, so how on earth could anyone else not see it the same way?

3) Insecurity -- The idea that both people are acting on severe insecurities, with younger women seeking validation through the attentions of an older man (daddy complex) and the money/security he can provide her in the same way (gold-digging), and older men seeking validation of their sexual virility in being able to obtain a younger woman (i.e. mid-life crisis), even if it means taking advantage of whatever issues she might have. People feel like they're both taking advantage of each other, but they place more responsibility on the older person because people feel they should know better. This further lends to the idea that the older person is only trying to use the younger person with no regard for the younger person's own path in life.

4) Inappropropriateness -- The idea that because there is such a large gap in age between them, there's not enough in common between the two of them for the relationship to be based on anything more than money and sex. This just rubs a lot of people the wrong way, often for one or all of the reasons already stated, or for others that aren't already stated (like it could be something as simple as thinking the older person is just too old to be physically attractive anymore, so how could someone much younger and with so many other options be into it). It's just too superficial for many to accept, and the greater the age gap, the worse it is.

People see it as gross of both individuals, but more onus is placed on the older person because it indicates a lack of maturity and personal growth. This is true if the older person is male or female, but it's talked more openly about when the older person is male. This double-standard is partly because females are seen as more vulnerable while men are seen as greater perpetrators of sexual exploitation, but it's also because much older men with much younger women is far more common.

Here's a simple article about it:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/meet-catch-and-keep/201806/why-people-dont-trust-couples-major-age-difference
« Last Edit: May 18, 2019, 11:08:08 pm by Chinguetti »


  • VanIslander
  • Moderator LVL 1

    • 1272

    • June 02, 2011, 10:12:19 am
    • Seogwipo, Jeju Island
    more
Re: Age difference in relationships
« Reply #191 on: May 18, 2019, 09:19:46 pm »
Can a 50 year old try to love and marry a 40 year old?

(I have a crush on Amber Ruffin. If I ever meet her less famous doppleganger...)


  • oglop
  • Hero of Waygookistan

    • 1905

    • August 25, 2011, 07:24:54 pm
    • Seoul
Re: Age difference in relationships
« Reply #192 on: May 18, 2019, 10:40:57 pm »
There's only one place that kid's really learn about sex: On the street. Or I guess in this day and age, that would be on social media/the internet.

Yeah, the class says blah blah blah, but no one will really care. They'll just go home and google something and then watch a youtube vid or get some answer off of Quora or Reddit.

Were you vigorously taking notes in sex ed? Was anything magically revealed? All the "This is your body and where babies come from" stuff was already known or the lame experience of having to label 'Vas Deferens' on a photocopied genitalia picture.

High school, everyone knew everything already by then, what between the early days of internet porn, Skinemax, and people already hooking up.

Sex ed is like banning sales of beer after the 7th inning to send a message about drinking. It's all a bunch of BS so certain people can feel better about themselves and think they're actually doing something. It's just a bunch of empty gestures.

Kids will believe whatever they believe based on their friends and the internet. Nothing will change that.
yeah, i'm not sure why kids go to school at all tbh. they may as well just stay home and browse quora or watch youtube videos instead


  • confusedsafferinkorea
  • Waygook Lord

    • 5006

    • October 08, 2010, 01:02:32 pm
    • Zhubei, Hsinchu Province, Taiwan
    more
Re: Age difference in relationships
« Reply #193 on: May 19, 2019, 11:11:27 am »
yeah, i'm not sure why kids go to school at all tbh. they may as well just stay home and browse quora or watch youtube videos instead

Yah sure, that is if of course you have access to the internet and do you think for one moment kids will browse quora and not play games instead?

Only 24% of people in Africa had internet access in 2018.
« Last Edit: May 19, 2019, 11:24:23 am by confusedsafferinkorea »
Everything is not as it seems.

No one owes you anything.... get over it.

There is no known medical cure for stupidity!


  • LIC
  • Veteran

    • 132

    • February 15, 2019, 04:39:00 pm
    • NE Hemisphere
Re: Age difference in relationships
« Reply #194 on: May 25, 2019, 07:38:43 pm »
Women like mature responsible men. Those tend to be older.

Men like hot, sexy, fit, beautiful women. Those are younger and tend not be white. Seriously, 150 lbs is the new thin for WW.

I have a relationship rule:

90% of the time a woman should be listening. 10% of the time she's talking

When she's talking 90% of the time she should be asking me if I want beer, sex or food...

The other 10% of the time is the requisite nagging and complaining men have to put up with cuz that's what women do best!
« Last Edit: May 25, 2019, 08:40:40 pm by VanIslander »


  • oglop
  • Hero of Waygookistan

    • 1905

    • August 25, 2011, 07:24:54 pm
    • Seoul
Re: Age difference in relationships
« Reply #195 on: May 25, 2019, 09:20:41 pm »
yeah, i'm not sure why kids go to school at all tbh. they may as well just stay home and browse quora or watch youtube videos instead

Yah sure, that is if of course you have access to the internet and do you think for one moment kids will browse quora and not play games instead?

Only 24% of people in Africa had internet access in 2018.




  • confusedsafferinkorea
  • Waygook Lord

    • 5006

    • October 08, 2010, 01:02:32 pm
    • Zhubei, Hsinchu Province, Taiwan
    more
Re: Age difference in relationships
« Reply #196 on: Yesterday at 07:26:59 am »
yeah, i'm not sure why kids go to school at all tbh. they may as well just stay home and browse quora or watch youtube videos instead

Yah sure, that is if of course you have access to the internet and do you think for one moment kids will browse quora and not play games instead?

Only 24% of people in Africa had internet access in 2018.




Point taken but you must admit these days on Waygook it is sometimes hard to distinguish what is sarcasm and what is not.
Everything is not as it seems.

No one owes you anything.... get over it.

There is no known medical cure for stupidity!


  • confusedsafferinkorea
  • Waygook Lord

    • 5006

    • October 08, 2010, 01:02:32 pm
    • Zhubei, Hsinchu Province, Taiwan
    more
Re: Age difference in relationships
« Reply #197 on: Yesterday at 07:29:24 am »
Women like mature responsible men. Those tend to be older.

Men like hot, sexy, fit, beautiful women. Those are younger and tend not be white. Seriously, 150 lbs is the new thin for WW.



I have a relationship rule:

90% of the time a woman should be listening. 10% of the time she's talking

When she's talking 90% of the time she should be asking me if I want beer, sex or food...

The other 10% of the time is the requisite nagging and complaining men have to put up with cuz that's what women do best!

I assume you are joking, right?
Everything is not as it seems.

No one owes you anything.... get over it.

There is no known medical cure for stupidity!


  • LIC
  • Veteran

    • 132

    • February 15, 2019, 04:39:00 pm
    • NE Hemisphere
Re: Age difference in relationships
« Reply #198 on: Yesterday at 09:43:16 pm »
Women like mature responsible men. Those tend to be older.

Men like hot, sexy, fit, beautiful women. Those are younger and tend not be white. Seriously, 150 lbs is the new thin for WW.



I have a relationship rule:

90% of the time a woman should be listening. 10% of the time she's talking

When she's talking 90% of the time she should be asking me if I want beer, sex or food...

The other 10% of the time is the requisite nagging and complaining men have to put up with cuz that's what women do best!

I assume you are joking, right?

No, I am not. There's only room for 1 king in my castle. I paid for the castle. I am the king. In the long run things work out more or less 50 / 50, but someone has to be the boss. That's me.
« Last Edit: Yesterday at 10:36:59 pm by VanIslander »


  • zola
  • The Legend

    • 2639

    • September 30, 2012, 06:56:11 am
    • Korea
Re: Age difference in relationships
« Reply #199 on: Today at 06:21:22 am »
Women like mature responsible men. Those tend to be older.

Men like hot, sexy, fit, beautiful women. Those are younger and tend not be white. Seriously, 150 lbs is the new thin for WW.



I have a relationship rule:

90% of the time a woman should be listening. 10% of the time she's talking

When she's talking 90% of the time she should be asking me if I want beer, sex or food...

The other 10% of the time is the requisite nagging and complaining men have to put up with cuz that's what women do best!

I assume you are joking, right?

No, I am not. There's only room for 1 king in my castle. I paid for the castle. I am the king. In the long run things work out more or less 50 / 50, but someone has to be the boss. That's me.
Lol. Good lord. For sure this is one of those guys who moved to Asia to find a wife because western women were too liberal.

I hope it's a joke because i genuinely feel sorry for any female that has to spend more than 30 seconds in your presence. Or any male for that matter.
Kpip! - Martin 2018