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  • debbiem89
  • Expert Waygook

    • 508

    • August 30, 2016, 09:42:49 am
    • South Korea
Re: Age difference in relationships
« Reply #140 on: May 14, 2019, 08:20:27 am »
Quote
If they are consenting adults and both have their eyes wide open when going into a relationship/marriage then that's absolutely their decision to make.

Do you feel the same about prostitution? Because if you substituted 'relationship' with 'transaction' above, there isn't really an argument for banning or restricting prostitution either.

I absolutely feel the same about prostitution. As long as it's regulated and safe for both people involved of course.


Re: Age difference in relationships
« Reply #141 on: May 14, 2019, 08:21:44 am »
Quote
If they are consenting adults and both have their eyes wide open when going into a relationship/marriage then that's absolutely their decision to make.
Do you feel the same about prostitution? Because if you substituted 'relationship' with 'transaction' above, there isn't really an argument for banning or restricting prostitution either.
Honestly, research has proven time and time again that legalizing and regulating prostitution makes it far safer for everybody involved.
I mean, I have issues with the idea of prostitution, but it's the oldest known profession and it will never ever go away, so society should do what it can to ensure that it isn't dangerous, dirty, and abusive as it so often is nowadays.

True, but things can be legalized without society not caring about them. E.g. adultery. Should people not care abut others committing adultery?   


  • Kyndo
  • Moderator LVL 1

    • 1341

    • March 03, 2011, 09:45:24 am
    • Gyeongsangbuk-do
Re: Age difference in relationships
« Reply #142 on: May 14, 2019, 08:28:39 am »
True, but things can be legalized without society not caring about them. E.g. adultery. Should people not care abut others committing adultery?   
I'm not sure I follow.
What is the connection between adultery and prostitution and age differences in marriage?
I mean, sure, adultery is bad... but should it be illegal? Personally I don't think so but there are a lot of countries out there (including the US where it's a felony in many States) who apparently disagree with me.


Re: Age difference in relationships
« Reply #143 on: May 14, 2019, 08:39:00 am »
True, but things can be legalized without society not caring about them. E.g. adultery. Should people not care abut others committing adultery?   
I'm not sure I follow.
What is the connection between adultery and prostitution and age differences in marriage?
I mean, sure, adultery is bad... but should it be illegal? Personally I don't think so but there are a lot of countries out there (including the US where it's a felony in many States) who apparently disagree with me.

My train of thought was, adultery and prostitution can be legal but still things society disapproves of. This disapproval could be a good thing, if it persuades people from doing these things. You could make the arguement that massive age differences between Western men and SE Asian women is basically a form of prostitution and therefore something society could disapprove of, without making it illegal.   


  • Kyndo
  • Moderator LVL 1

    • 1341

    • March 03, 2011, 09:45:24 am
    • Gyeongsangbuk-do
Re: Age difference in relationships
« Reply #144 on: May 14, 2019, 08:44:33 am »
My train of thought was, adultery and prostitution can be legal but still things society disapproves of. This disapproval could be a good thing, if it persuades people from doing these things. You could make the arguement that massive age differences between Western men and SE Asian women is basically a form of prostitution and therefore something society could disapprove of, without making it illegal.   
Oh, I see.
Yes, I don't disagree. So long as there isn't any huge difference in power dynamics (ie marrying a minor), then I don't see how it should be any of the government's business.


  • debbiem89
  • Expert Waygook

    • 508

    • August 30, 2016, 09:42:49 am
    • South Korea
Re: Age difference in relationships
« Reply #145 on: May 14, 2019, 08:48:15 am »
True, but things can be legalized without society not caring about them. E.g. adultery. Should people not care abut others committing adultery?   
I'm not sure I follow.
What is the connection between adultery and prostitution and age differences in marriage?
I mean, sure, adultery is bad... but should it be illegal? Personally I don't think so but there are a lot of countries out there (including the US where it's a felony in many States) who apparently disagree with me.

My train of thought was, adultery and prostitution can be legal but still things society disapproves of. This disapproval could be a good thing, if it persuades people from doing these things. You could make the arguement that massive age differences between Western men and SE Asian women is basically a form of prostitution and therefore something society could disapprove of, without making it illegal.   

I think you're taking some absolutely massive leaps there.

For a start these kind of relationships don't only occur with Western men and SE Asian women. By your argument you could call MANY relationships prostitution.

My CoT dumped her lovely boyfriend for a rich guy that came along and proposed because he bought a gorgeous apartment for them to live in, is that also prostitution?

Also societies "disapproval" wouldn't persuade anyone otherwise, otherwise no one would be drinking alcohol or doing (even legal) drugs.

Just because some people disapprove of something personally, doesn't make it "wrong".


Re: Age difference in relationships
« Reply #146 on: May 14, 2019, 08:57:12 am »
True, but things can be legalized without society not caring about them. E.g. adultery. Should people not care abut others committing adultery?   
I'm not sure I follow.
What is the connection between adultery and prostitution and age differences in marriage?
I mean, sure, adultery is bad... but should it be illegal? Personally I don't think so but there are a lot of countries out there (including the US where it's a felony in many States) who apparently disagree with me.

My train of thought was, adultery and prostitution can be legal but still things society disapproves of. This disapproval could be a good thing, if it persuades people from doing these things. You could make the arguement that massive age differences between Western men and SE Asian women is basically a form of prostitution and therefore something society could disapprove of, without making it illegal.   

I think you're taking some absolutely massive leaps there.

For a start these kind of relationships don't only occur with Western men and SE Asian women. By your argument you could call MANY relationships prostitution.

My CoT dumped her lovely boyfriend for a rich guy that came along and proposed because he bought a gorgeous apartment for them to live in, is that also prostitution?

Also societies "disapproval" wouldn't persuade anyone otherwise, otherwise no one would be drinking alcohol or doing (even legal) drugs.

Just because some people disapprove of something personally, doesn't make it "wrong".

True, it's not only SE Asian women ad western men, it just tends to be more obvious there because of the bigger age differences and more obvious lack of things in common.

Western society does generally disapprove of gold diggers, Asian society less so.

Society's disapproval counts for a lot. With regards to alcohol, the UK government is often saying the best way to combat binge drinking is to 'change the culture'. This is done by people disapproving of certain types of behaviour.


  • Kayos
  • Hero of Waygookistan

    • 1852

    • March 31, 2016, 07:13:57 pm
    • NZ
Re: Age difference in relationships
« Reply #147 on: May 14, 2019, 08:58:06 am »
Quote
If they are consenting adults and both have their eyes wide open when going into a relationship/marriage then that's absolutely their decision to make.
Do you feel the same about prostitution? Because if you substituted 'relationship' with 'transaction' above, there isn't really an argument for banning or restricting prostitution either.
Honestly, research has proven time and time again that legalizing and regulating prostitution makes it far safer for everybody involved.
I mean, I have issues with the idea of prostitution, but it's the oldest known profession and it will never ever go away, so society should do what it can to ensure that it isn't dangerous, dirty, and abusive as it so often is nowadays.

Technically it should be the 2nd oldest profession. People would still have to trade something for it, so hunter / gatherer / fishing would probably be slightly older than prostitution.

And I have almost no problems with prostitution, I actually wish it was legalized in more places to make it safer for the workers. Though, my issues with prostitution are with people forced into this line of work. I only have no problems with people who go into it willingly.


Re: Age difference in relationships
« Reply #148 on: May 14, 2019, 09:09:17 am »
Quote
And I have almost no problems with prostitution, I actually wish it was legalized in more places to make it safer for the workers. Though, my issues with prostitution are with people forced into this line of work.

When you say 'almost no problems' I assume you wouldn't regard prostitution as exactly the same as other jobs and would object to the following for example. 

Prostitutes playing for trade in daylight in busy shopping areas.
Prostitutes advertising on prime time TV
Careers advice at schools advising girls, or boys to go into prostitution.
Degrees in sex work at universities.

(BTW These are just examples to show how prostitution, even if legal would not be treated like any other job)
« Last Edit: May 14, 2019, 09:32:13 am by eggieguffer »


  • Kyndo
  • Moderator LVL 1

    • 1341

    • March 03, 2011, 09:45:24 am
    • Gyeongsangbuk-do
Re: Age difference in relationships
« Reply #149 on: May 14, 2019, 09:53:30 am »
it's the oldest known profession
Technically it should be the 2nd oldest profession. People would still have to trade something for it, so hunter / gatherer / fishing would probably be slightly older than prostitution.
Hey, look here, I'm supposed to be the pedantic one here. Quit stealing my thunder.  >:(
Anyway, it could be tied for first. Might've been that the first professional hunter got paid in, uh, companionship.  :-*


  • debbiem89
  • Expert Waygook

    • 508

    • August 30, 2016, 09:42:49 am
    • South Korea
Re: Age difference in relationships
« Reply #150 on: May 14, 2019, 12:17:06 pm »
Quote
And I have almost no problems with prostitution, I actually wish it was legalized in more places to make it safer for the workers. Though, my issues with prostitution are with people forced into this line of work.

When you say 'almost no problems' I assume you wouldn't regard prostitution as exactly the same as other jobs and would object to the following for example. 

Prostitutes playing for trade in daylight in busy shopping areas.
Prostitutes advertising on prime time TV
Careers advice at schools advising girls, or boys to go into prostitution.
Degrees in sex work at universities.

(BTW These are just examples to show how prostitution, even if legal would not be treated like any other job)

Ever been to Amsterdam? The red light district is in a central location and they work during the day too. I literally saw families walking their kids past the windows and all the sex shops (that are in NO way concealed) and guess what? No one batted an eyelid. The huge stigma is removed. Same with the drugs...because the stigma is gone Dutch people actually don't care about it. My friends have told me they don't partake because it's just not a novelty for them.

You said societies "disapproving" of stuff makes people not do it....I would argue the opposite. Why do teens smoke when they're underage? Most people I know of simply stopped when they could legally buy cigarettes because the allure was totally gone.

My Korean students are the MOST obsessed with porn that I've ever known anyone to be BECAUSE it's illegal.

Your other examples don't make lot of sense. You don't need a degree to be a prostitute...like TONS of other jobs.

What are your feelings about strippers? Porn Stars? There's also no one coming to your school on career day for those jobs....doesn't mean they aren't valid jobs.


  • Kayos
  • Hero of Waygookistan

    • 1852

    • March 31, 2016, 07:13:57 pm
    • NZ
Re: Age difference in relationships
« Reply #151 on: May 14, 2019, 12:29:18 pm »
Quote
And I have almost no problems with prostitution, I actually wish it was legalized in more places to make it safer for the workers. Though, my issues with prostitution are with people forced into this line of work.

When you say 'almost no problems' I assume you wouldn't regard prostitution as exactly the same as other jobs and would object to the following for example. 

Prostitutes playing for trade in daylight in busy shopping areas.
Prostitutes advertising on prime time TV
Careers advice at schools advising girls, or boys to go into prostitution.
Degrees in sex work at universities.

(BTW These are just examples to show how prostitution, even if legal would not be treated like any other job)

I'd have no problems with any of those things.
However, I doubt there would ever be degrees in sex work from a university.


  • Kyndo
  • Moderator LVL 1

    • 1341

    • March 03, 2011, 09:45:24 am
    • Gyeongsangbuk-do
Re: Age difference in relationships
« Reply #152 on: May 14, 2019, 12:30:46 pm »
However, I doubt there would ever be degrees in sex work from a university.
They already have uni courses on dating. Just you wait: eventually they'll cut to the chase!


  • Kayos
  • Hero of Waygookistan

    • 1852

    • March 31, 2016, 07:13:57 pm
    • NZ
Re: Age difference in relationships
« Reply #153 on: May 14, 2019, 12:37:42 pm »
it's the oldest known profession
Technically it should be the 2nd oldest profession. People would still have to trade something for it, so hunter / gatherer / fishing would probably be slightly older than prostitution.
Hey, look here, I'm supposed to be the pedantic one here. Quit stealing my thunder.  >:(
Anyway, it could be tied for first. Might've been that the first professional hunter got paid in, uh, companionship.  :-*

That's possible :P
One could argue that it's the oldest profession that is still pursued without much change.
Since we are farmers now more than hunter / gatherers now, and fishing is probably younger than prostitution. :p


  • Kayos
  • Hero of Waygookistan

    • 1852

    • March 31, 2016, 07:13:57 pm
    • NZ
Re: Age difference in relationships
« Reply #154 on: May 14, 2019, 01:48:10 pm »
However, I doubt there would ever be degrees in sex work from a university.
They already have uni courses on dating. Just you wait: eventually they'll cut to the chase!

Oh wow, just curious, which universities offer these courses? :o


Re: Age difference in relationships
« Reply #155 on: May 14, 2019, 02:04:57 pm »
Quote
And I have almost no problems with prostitution, I actually wish it was legalized in more places to make it safer for the workers. Though, my issues with prostitution are with people forced into this line of work.

When you say 'almost no problems' I assume you wouldn't regard prostitution as exactly the same as other jobs and would object to the following for example. 

Prostitutes playing for trade in daylight in busy shopping areas.
Prostitutes advertising on prime time TV
Careers advice at schools advising girls, or boys to go into prostitution.
Degrees in sex work at universities.

(BTW These are just examples to show how prostitution, even if legal would not be treated like any other job)

I'd have no problems with any of those things.
However, I doubt there would ever be degrees in sex work from a university.

I reckon universities having degrees on sex work is more likely than careers advisors telling kids they should go into prostitution. 


  • Kyndo
  • Moderator LVL 1

    • 1341

    • March 03, 2011, 09:45:24 am
    • Gyeongsangbuk-do
Re: Age difference in relationships
« Reply #156 on: May 14, 2019, 02:14:20 pm »
Oh wow, just curious, which universities offer these courses? :o
Why? Planning on auditing a few courses?  :wink:

But yeah, it's becoming quite the thing, apparently. Unis now give *mandatory* dating classes.

https://www.nextbigfuture.com/2018/11/south-korea-university-mandatory-dating-class.html
https://www.cbc.ca/news/world/dongguk-university-course-marriage-love-dating-mandatory-1.4532780

The article lists Dongguk University in Seoul and Kyung Hee University as ones where this is the case and goes on to say many others will be following suit(ors).


  • confusedsafferinkorea
  • Waygook Lord

    • 5503

    • October 08, 2010, 01:02:32 pm
    • Zhubei, Hsinchu Province, Taiwan
    more
Re: Age difference in relationships
« Reply #157 on: May 14, 2019, 06:35:31 pm »
I know a couple in the Philippines, he is 88 and she is 30 odd. They are so happy and have been together for many years.

Many years? What age where they when they first met / married?


She is about 37 and she got married to him in her early 20's.
There is no known medical cure for stupidity!


  • VanIslander
  • Moderator LVL 1

    • 2020

    • June 02, 2011, 10:12:19 am
    • Seogwipo, Jeju Island
    more
Re: Age difference in relationships
« Reply #158 on: May 14, 2019, 07:25:29 pm »
Prince Charles was 33 and Lady Di was 20 when they got married.

I was 12 at the time and thought he looked like the father giving the bride away!

Some couples just seem to not fit, and age difference can be an extra challenge.


  • Kayos
  • Hero of Waygookistan

    • 1852

    • March 31, 2016, 07:13:57 pm
    • NZ
Re: Age difference in relationships
« Reply #159 on: May 15, 2019, 07:53:04 am »
Oh wow, just curious, which universities offer these courses? :o
Why? Planning on auditing a few courses?  :wink:

But yeah, it's becoming quite the thing, apparently. Unis now give *mandatory* dating classes.

https://www.nextbigfuture.com/2018/11/south-korea-university-mandatory-dating-class.html
https://www.cbc.ca/news/world/dongguk-university-course-marriage-love-dating-mandatory-1.4532780

The article lists Dongguk University in Seoul and Kyung Hee University as ones where this is the case and goes on to say many others will be following suit(ors).

Haha of course ;P
Nah, just never heard of it, and was interested in seeing what you can get out of the class :o

Cheers for the links, I'll have a read of them! :D