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  • LIC
  • Veteran

    • 114

    • February 15, 2019, 04:39:00 pm
    • NE Hemisphere
Re: Age difference in relationships
« Reply #100 on: February 18, 2019, 11:34:23 am »
When I was in my mid-20's my girlfriend was twice my age. All her friends thought it was awesome.

This age difference thing seems to primarily be a cultural 1-way street with Western women finding it distasteful with the idea of older guy - younger girl situation. Ironically, I bet most of those same women would not find it the least bit distasteful if the female was 45 and the guy was 25.

In SE Asia having an older husband means stability and maturity, and is welcomed.



  • Kanali
  • Waygookin

    • 14

    • May 18, 2018, 09:41:55 pm
    • Dajeon
Re: Age difference in relationships
« Reply #101 on: May 10, 2019, 05:57:48 pm »
Why do some women get so bent out of shape when an older guy has a relationship with a younger women?

I was up in Seoul last night, so I met up with a bunch of people who used to hang out together in my first year. One of the guys is 39 and his girlfriend (not present) is 22 and she is about to graduate university next month. The four females present during this discussion flipped out. "You are disgusting. I can't believe you are doing this."...
Usually because the much older guy is after sex, and the much younger woman is also after some perks he can provide. There is such thing as personal compatibility in relationships, and large age differences lower this factor. Someone born into a completely different generation than you will make references that you won't catch, because you weren't even born then. So then you watch these older guys tell jokes and make references and their younger girlfriends will pretend to understand, laugh and smile, you know she is not being honest and sincere and that this  relationships is based on a trade, where she is looking for some perks from him, while he is acting like an "old fool". This kind of thing is gross to watch. These kind of unions have always been looked down upon, and described as unwelcome and tragic in movies and literature. Sometimes the younger wife character will cheat on her much older husband, while he remains clueless.

Why these women get "bent out of shape" when they see this? Well, because women are more emotionally astute than men, and seeing a guy act like an "old fool" while the girl plays around with him is kind of repulsive.

It's also true that older men have higher chances of fathering children with a plethora of disorders, ranging from autism, up to schizophrenia and bipolar disorder, so for a younger woman looking to have a family a much older guy isn't such a great choice. It could mean a lifetime of troubles for her and having to deal with sick kids. Unfortunately many women wishing to have family and kids don't get genetic counseling, and don't know about the dangers of trying to start a family with older men.

Some studies on this:
https://www.nytimes.com/2014/02/27/health/mental-illness-risk-higher-for-children-of-older-parents-study-finds.html
https://www.treatmentadvocacycenter.org/fixing-the-system/features-and-news/2494-research-paternal-age-linked-to-schizophrenia
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-imprinted-brain/201304/older-fathers-autism-and-schizophrenia


  • oglop
  • Hero of Waygookistan

    • 1891

    • August 25, 2011, 07:24:54 pm
    • Seoul
Re: Age difference in relationships
« Reply #102 on: May 10, 2019, 09:36:31 pm »
Weird response to revive an old thread. Did your girlfriend leave you for an older man, kanali?


  • NorthStar
  • Super Waygook

    • 252

    • July 05, 2017, 10:54:06 am
    • Seoul
Re: Age difference in relationships
« Reply #103 on: May 10, 2019, 10:06:17 pm »
But it is OK for older women to seek out younger men...right?


  • JNM
  • The Legend

    • 3903

    • January 19, 2015, 10:16:48 am
    • Seoul, South Korea
Re: Age difference in relationships
« Reply #104 on: May 10, 2019, 10:22:34 pm »
In most cases, the older woman is looking at her past mistakes and trying to do things differently.

A different power dynamic, where she holds more cards.


  • VanIslander
  • Moderator LVL 1

    • 1269

    • June 02, 2011, 10:12:19 am
    • Seogwipo, Jeju Island
    more
Re: Age difference in relationships
« Reply #105 on: May 11, 2019, 03:35:05 am »
When I was in high school my girlfriend was in middle school. People thought this was a huge issue (three year difference) but she was tall (5'7) and one of the smartest students (won contests often - mastered knitting and learned Japanese as hobbies!) and we were each other's firsts. We were together for four years, eventually separated by university (i went to the local college for a couple of years, then had to go out of province).

So, I don't criticize relationships based on age. It depends on the individuals.



  • L I
  • The Legend

    • 3191

    • October 03, 2011, 01:50:58 pm
    • Seoul
Re: Age difference in relationships
« Reply #106 on: May 11, 2019, 08:20:05 am »
When I was in middle school I was 11, 12, and 13.

The reason an 11 year with a 14 year old / a 12 year old with a 15 year old / a 13 year old with a 16 year old is seen as unethical is the child's brain is considered too underdeveloped to give consent.

What you did sounds illegal.

Best not to repeat that story.

Especially in the context as a justification for age differences.


  • VanIslander
  • Moderator LVL 1

    • 1269

    • June 02, 2011, 10:12:19 am
    • Seogwipo, Jeju Island
    more
Re: Age difference in relationships
« Reply #107 on: May 11, 2019, 01:03:06 pm »
She was 14 years, 5 months... I was 17 years, 6 months.

We met at a high school party and kissed before age even was known (she was 5'7 and came with her sister whom she looked like, they both from another part of town).

We were both underage. We were together for 4 years and our parents consented. After dating for 6 months to 1 year, everyone pretty much accepts it.

She was my high school graduation date and I was her high school graduation date.

Age difference can be sometimes not a problem. I simply don't judge quickly based on age alone. My grandpa was 24 and grandma 17 when they got married. THAT would be a legal issue nowadays in many places. Their 53-year marriage is evidence that sometimes age doesn't matter.

OF COURSE age matters sometimes. Boss-worker relations being a prime example of a power imbalance.



« Last Edit: May 11, 2019, 01:13:04 pm by VanIslander »


  • Kanali
  • Waygookin

    • 14

    • May 18, 2018, 09:41:55 pm
    • Dajeon
Re: Age difference in relationships
« Reply #108 on: May 11, 2019, 01:18:16 pm »
Weird response to revive an old thread. Did your girlfriend leave you for an older man, kanali?
Hey at least I've had a girlfriend ;p

This thread was top of second page and I was bored, so sue me. Now discuss, gentlemen.


  • Kanali
  • Waygookin

    • 14

    • May 18, 2018, 09:41:55 pm
    • Dajeon
Re: Age difference in relationships
« Reply #109 on: May 11, 2019, 01:24:34 pm »
Age difference can be sometimes not a problem. I simply don't judge quickly based on age alone. My grandpa was 24 and grandma 17 when they got married. THAT would be a legal issue nowadays in many places. Their 53-year marriage is evidence that sometimes age doesn't matter.
7 year difference isn't that great really. The OP was talking about an age difference of 20 years i.e. men in their 40s and even 50s trying to date 20 year olds.


  • Kanali
  • Waygookin

    • 14

    • May 18, 2018, 09:41:55 pm
    • Dajeon
Re: Age difference in relationships
« Reply #110 on: May 11, 2019, 01:29:41 pm »
But it is OK for older women to seek out younger men...right?
Is it now? For either gender it seems better to find someone who's born in "your generation" so to say. This raises the chances that you'll have greater personal connection with the person and that your relationship isn't based primarily on looks, sex, and lust. Generation divides become pronounced around 10-15 years.


  • waygo0k
  • The Legend

    • 3778

    • September 27, 2011, 11:51:01 am
    • Chungnam
Re: Age difference in relationships
« Reply #111 on: May 12, 2019, 08:39:24 am »
Honestly, if both (adult) parties are willingly partaking in this relationship...whose darn business is it to decide whether itís unacceptable or not?

Women rolling their eyes at a man dating someone much younger (and vice versa) just smacks of plain jealousy or saltiness IMO


  • oglop
  • Hero of Waygookistan

    • 1891

    • August 25, 2011, 07:24:54 pm
    • Seoul
Re: Age difference in relationships
« Reply #112 on: May 12, 2019, 09:06:26 am »
Honestly, if both (adult) parties are willingly partaking in this relationship...whose darn business is it to decide whether itís unacceptable or not?

yeah, exactly. i don't know why people care so much about what other people do


  • T_Rex
  • Waygookin

    • 14

    • April 23, 2019, 08:10:20 am
Re: Age difference in relationships
« Reply #113 on: May 12, 2019, 11:42:29 am »
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7sY2cIQYObM
True love transcends all barriers.


  • L I
  • The Legend

    • 3191

    • October 03, 2011, 01:50:58 pm
    • Seoul


  • SanderB
  • Super Waygook

    • 409

    • June 02, 2018, 06:25:54 pm
    • Gouda cheese Be Best cheese
Re: Age difference in relationships
« Reply #115 on: May 12, 2019, 04:59:11 pm »
I heard the other day that one of my male colleagues is living with one of his former students. :huh:
Fiat voluntas tua- All that you want is allowed


  • CO2
  • The Legend

    • 4375

    • March 02, 2015, 03:41:14 pm
    • Gunpo
    more
Re: Age difference in relationships
« Reply #116 on: May 12, 2019, 05:08:26 pm »
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7sY2cIQYObM
True love transcends all barriers.

"not as well-rounded and mature sa"

Yeah, no shit, she became a legal adult a year ago. You're in your late 50s.

Jesus Christ. Not to mention SHE'S NOT FROM YOUR CULTURE
The joys of fauxtherhood


  • pkjh
  • Hero of Waygookistan

    • 1486

    • May 02, 2012, 02:59:44 pm
Re: Age difference in relationships
« Reply #117 on: May 12, 2019, 10:35:16 pm »

True love transcends all barriers.

"not as well-rounded and mature sa"

Yeah, no shit, she became a legal adult a year ago. You're in your late 50s.

Jesus Christ. Not to mention SHE'S NOT FROM YOUR CULTURE
"You're putting figure prints on my windows?"... a match made in heaven.

Granted, I probably get my mail-order when I get up there in age with no wife...  :-[


  • VanIslander
  • Moderator LVL 1

    • 1269

    • June 02, 2011, 10:12:19 am
    • Seogwipo, Jeju Island
    more
Re: Age difference in relationships
« Reply #118 on: May 13, 2019, 05:06:49 am »
In 2016 America voted for a 70-year-old president with a 46-year-old wife.

Mail-order brides are a sad reality. A 20+ year age difference is a huge challenge.

Some people may live better lives that way, others don't. But whatever. The world is full of people living diverse lives: non-binary, eunich, Mormon polygamy, celebacy, swinger, etc.

As long as no one forces them to do it and they feel it's better than their immediate alternatives, so be it.
« Last Edit: May 13, 2019, 05:09:26 am by VanIslander »


  • confusedsafferinkorea
  • The Legend

    • 4991

    • October 08, 2010, 01:02:32 pm
    • Zhubei, Hsinchu Province, Taiwan
    more
Re: Age difference in relationships
« Reply #119 on: May 13, 2019, 05:54:06 am »

True love transcends all barriers.

"not as well-rounded and mature sa"

Yeah, no shit, she became a legal adult a year ago. You're in your late 50s.

Jesus Christ. Not to mention SHE'S NOT FROM YOUR CULTURE
"You're putting figure prints on my windows?"... a match made in heaven.

Granted, I probably get my mail-order when I get up there in age with no wife...  :-[

To be honest, that guy is a jerk, getting all bent out of shape about fingerprints. My prediction..... it won't last 90 days or if they get married, she will leave him like his ex did. I am married to a Filipina and I know how they think. She is dazzled by the glitz and glamour but when his weird personality manifests itself even more, she is out of there, believe me.

She seems open and honest but as I said he appears to be a real jerk with zero sense of humor.

BTW I don't think this relationship will fail because of age difference, just personality differences.
Everything is not as it seems.

No one owes you anything.... get over it.

There is no known medical cure for stupidity!