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  • zola
  • The Legend

    • 2692

    • September 30, 2012, 06:56:11 am
    • Korea
Age difference in relationships
« on: November 22, 2018, 10:35:47 am »
Why do some women get so bent out of shape when an older guy has a relationship with a younger women?

I was up in Seoul last night, so I met up with a bunch of people who used to hang out together in my first year. One of the guys is 39 and his girlfriend (not present) is 22 and she is about to graduate university next month. The four females present during this discussion flipped out. "You are disgusting. I can't believe you are doing this." I thought they were joking at first, but they wouldn't let it go and the guy ended up walking out of the restaurant. Then they turned on the rest of us, giving us the inquisition "Would you do that? Do you think that's acceptable? He's old enough to be her father." I told them that in the past I had been in a relationship with a girl 10 years my junior. That was met with similar hissing and "gross!". Wtf. Like 17 years, ok I can kind of see that some might find that distasteful. But really, who cares? 10 years? That's nothing. A 25 year old and a 35 year old together is "gross"?

What do you think is the line, where age difference becomes unacceptable? Is it really that bad? If it's two consenting adults? Who gives a shit? I was taken aback by their reaction.
Kpip! - Martin 2018


  • Kayos
  • Hero of Waygookistan

    • 1294

    • March 31, 2016, 07:13:57 pm
    • NZ
Re: Age difference in relationships
« Reply #1 on: November 22, 2018, 10:39:51 am »
Usually: half you age + 7, rounded down.
But once you hit your mid 20s, no one under 18, or no 18 year old that hasn't finished high school.

But yeah, more than anything, if it is 2 consenting adults, then who cares.


  • Cyanea
  • Hero of Waygookistan

    • 1090

    • September 04, 2016, 01:48:24 pm
    • Las Vegas
Re: Age difference in relationships
« Reply #2 on: November 22, 2018, 11:06:57 am »
Because they're silly judgemental 20-somethings! Clueless about the world but they think they know everything and are entitled to force their narrow-mindedness on others.
Catch my drift?


  • carter1l
  • Adventurer

    • 63

    • June 08, 2018, 01:00:24 pm
    • Geoje
Re: Age difference in relationships
« Reply #3 on: November 22, 2018, 11:13:56 am »
After the consenting age of 18 it's really just a number and doesn't matter. As long as the two are consenting and happy there really shouldn't be any problem. I usually date based off maturity levels which almost always never reflects their actual age. Those girls are just judgmental.


  • zola
  • The Legend

    • 2692

    • September 30, 2012, 06:56:11 am
    • Korea
Re: Age difference in relationships
« Reply #4 on: November 22, 2018, 11:17:33 am »
Because they're silly judgemental 20-somethings! Clueless about the world but they think they know everything and are entitled to force their narrow-mindedness on others.
Actually, one is 29 the other three are in their mid 30s. Two are married with kids.
Kpip! - Martin 2018


Re: Age difference in relationships
« Reply #5 on: November 22, 2018, 11:27:19 am »
There are always going to be people love to get judgmental and self-righteous about stuff.

I don't hang out with people like that. Maybe you shouldn't, either?


Re: Age difference in relationships
« Reply #6 on: November 22, 2018, 11:40:36 am »
There are always going to be people love to get judgmental and self-righteous about stuff.

I don't hang out with people like that. Maybe you shouldn't, either?

This...

I wonder what they would have said if it was a woman dating a guy just about to graduate university?  Like others have said, age is just a number.  I prefer men much younger than myself, so I don't know what the big deal is.


  • JNM
  • The Legend

    • 3978

    • January 19, 2015, 10:16:48 am
    • Seoul, South Korea
Re: Age difference in relationships
« Reply #7 on: November 22, 2018, 11:43:32 am »
Studies show that women find men 5 years older than themselves most attractive; men find 20 year women most attractive, regardless of their own age.

[shrug]


  • Savant
  • Hero of Waygookistan

    • 1933

    • April 07, 2012, 11:35:31 pm
Re: Age difference in relationships
« Reply #8 on: November 22, 2018, 11:46:30 am »
Because they're silly judgemental 20-somethings! Clueless about the world but they think they know everything and are entitled to force their narrow-mindedness on others.
Actually, one is 29 the other three are in their mid 30s. Two are married with kids.

So, mentally, still "silly judgemental 20-somethings".


  • CO2
  • The Legend

    • 4523

    • March 02, 2015, 03:41:14 pm
    • Gunpo
    more
Re: Age difference in relationships
« Reply #9 on: November 22, 2018, 11:51:20 am »
I follow the letter of the law.

Now, would I personally get involved with an 18 year old?

99% no. A) They would most likely annoy the shit out of me and B) what 18 year old wants to get involved with a 33 year old?

But still, I don't give a shit. Women are allowed to do what they want with their bodies, right? Is that not common thinking. Women can have abortions, don't slut shame etc?

OMG that creepy guy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yeah, put all the onus on him, sure. Women are allowed to make their own mistakes. Women are smart, just like men, let them fukk up their lives. We all have done that at some point.
The joys of fauxtherhood


Re: Age difference in relationships
« Reply #10 on: November 22, 2018, 12:01:33 pm »
It's the same when a teacher has sex with a student. If it is a male teacher then the world goes berserk and he gets thrown in jail for a long time.

When it's a woman having sex with a student then the student is hero, the teacher gets a stern telling off and 100 hours community service.

Reverse the roles in OP's scenario and have the woman be significantly older than the man and I don't think your friends say anything except, lucky you banter.
Who is here in 2019?


Re: Age difference in relationships
« Reply #11 on: November 22, 2018, 12:02:23 pm »
There are several reasons for that attitude, but I don't feel like getting into them because even without those reasons people will still find other reasons to judge.

As long as everyone involved are consenting adults.

As long as no one is stringing anyone along.

As long as they're not destroying something in the process.

Then why dafuq would anyone care? Leave them alone, gawd.

I remember reading a story about a woman with incredible genes who couldn't maintain a relationship because people wouldn't stop judging the shit out of her and the men she dated. She was like in her 40s but looked like she was in her 20s. She didn't want to date younger men and was only interested in men her own age or older, but she and her boyfriends would get a ton of grief from strangers who thought they had a sugar-daddy/sugar-baby setup. It was bad enough to ruin every single one of her relationships. I can't find that story, but if I do Ima post it here.


Re: Age difference in relationships
« Reply #12 on: November 22, 2018, 12:20:39 pm »
Is the girlfriend Asian? That tends to rile Western women up more. I imagine if she was Thai or Filippina they'd have been apoplectic.


  • sh9wntm
  • Veteran

    • 198

    • February 23, 2018, 03:23:39 pm
    • Seoul
Re: Age difference in relationships
« Reply #13 on: November 22, 2018, 12:23:23 pm »
Because women overall are jealous creatures (shocker) and the feeling that they may have passed their prime is difficult to manage, so they'll blame guys like your friend or society at large or patriarchal injustice. This really shouldn't be surprising.

The anthropological data doesn't lie, hypergamy is human nature. The woman in her early 20's isn't complaining, LOL.


  • Cyanea
  • Hero of Waygookistan

    • 1090

    • September 04, 2016, 01:48:24 pm
    • Las Vegas
Re: Age difference in relationships
« Reply #14 on: November 22, 2018, 12:28:44 pm »
Because they're silly judgemental 20-somethings! Clueless about the world but they think they know everything and are entitled to force their narrow-mindedness on others.
Actually, one is 29 the other three are in their mid 30s. Two are married with kids.

Well... Koreans aren't exactly free thinkers.

They are conformists who live their lives to the formula dictated to them, they don't have their own mind and get angry at anyone who does.

They show the same outrage at any woman who is still unmarried at age 33.


Korean society is a straightjacket that squeezes the life out of anyone in it and despises anyone who doesn't want to get into it.
Catch my drift?


Re: Age difference in relationships
« Reply #15 on: November 22, 2018, 12:35:59 pm »
Because they're silly judgemental 20-somethings! Clueless about the world but they think they know everything and are entitled to force their narrow-mindedness on others.
Actually, one is 29 the other three are in their mid 30s. Two are married with kids.

Well... Koreans aren't exactly free thinkers.

They are conformists who live their lives to the formula dictated to them, they don't have their own mind and get angry at anyone who does.

They show the same outrage at any woman who is still unmarried at age 33.


Korean society is a straightjacket that squeezes the life out of anyone in it and despises anyone who doesn't want to get into it.

No one said anything about any one of these people being Korean..? yOUr biGOtrY hAs beEn nOtEd. (@'Tino am I doing it right?)


  • Kayos
  • Hero of Waygookistan

    • 1294

    • March 31, 2016, 07:13:57 pm
    • NZ
Re: Age difference in relationships
« Reply #16 on: November 22, 2018, 12:42:50 pm »
It's the same when a teacher has sex with a student. If it is a male teacher then the world goes berserk and he gets thrown in jail for a long time.

When it's a woman having sex with a student then the student is hero, the teacher gets a stern telling off and 100 hours community service.

Reverse the roles in OP's scenario and have the woman be significantly older than the man and I don't think your friends say anything except, lucky you banter.

I just watched the south park episode that makes this joke too.
My favourite line, is when the police chief goes: "Where were all the hot, sex'd up teachers when I was a kid?!"


  • zola
  • The Legend

    • 2692

    • September 30, 2012, 06:56:11 am
    • Korea
Re: Age difference in relationships
« Reply #17 on: November 22, 2018, 01:32:24 pm »
Because they're silly judgemental 20-somethings! Clueless about the world but they think they know everything and are entitled to force their narrow-mindedness on others.
Actually, one is 29 the other three are in their mid 30s. Two are married with kids.

Well... Koreans aren't exactly free thinkers.

They are conformists who live their lives to the formula dictated to them, they don't have their own mind and get angry at anyone who does.

They show the same outrage at any woman who is still unmarried at age 33.


Korean society is a straightjacket that squeezes the life out of anyone in it and despises anyone who doesn't want to get into it.
They weren't Korean. 2 English women and 2 Americans. The only Korean involved was the 22 year old he is dating.
Kpip! - Martin 2018


Re: Age difference in relationships
« Reply #18 on: November 22, 2018, 01:42:24 pm »
Quote
They weren't Korean. 2 English women and 2 Americans. The only Korean involved was the 22 year old he is dating.

Yep that's what I thought. I bet the reaction wouldn't have been as strong if she'd been Western.


Re: Age difference in relationships
« Reply #19 on: November 22, 2018, 01:56:21 pm »
Typical.

If it was a 40 +-year-old woman dating a 30 or younger guy...  " you go girl"  " you still got it"  " you are such a cougar, milf ect.. "

Of course, if it's a guy..   " He is a pig", " Can't get a girl his own age" so on ect..   Women in their 30's are gonna hate because they know their time is up and they are aging inside and out, and guys, including their husbands, secretly lust after younger fertile women.  It's just nature. We are animals for fooks sake.  Any guy with testosterone above 200.. would love to bang a 20-year-old, no matter if you're 30, 40, 50, 60, 70..    If you say no that's gross.. you have homo tendencies that you need to be explored or go get a blood test and get on TRT.