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  • twak24
  • Veteran

    • 193

    • March 22, 2011, 08:01:42 pm
Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #200 on: May 18, 2011, 03:01:10 pm »
Telling me about his unborn cousin: "Small life is breathing in my maternal auntís stomach. Baby, I'm waiting for you."


  • SBracken
  • Expert Waygook

    • 579

    • March 07, 2011, 07:41:22 am
    • Pohang, S Korea
Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #201 on: May 20, 2011, 07:55:52 am »
"What do you want to do before you die?"

From a 3rd grade HS class:
"I want to 10 wives. Before I die. Yes teacher. Jessica Alba." (male student)
"I want to kill all world." (male)
"I want to *hand motions like single clap* Eminem- together, me, Eminem. Before I die. Him, me, close!" (female)
"I want to rich-ee. Before I die. That's all." (female)

male student: I want to kill world, bring back. like Jesus.
me: If you die [kill] everyone, then he *points* will have no wives! [is that] Ok?
student: No- Jesus! *points* He wives- ok- come back *raising his hands*, he- ok, they alive. Everyone [else] 'uhh' *hand motions 'other'*- die."
first student: ah, thank you! teacher- he friend.
student: Ok, ok.



3rd grade Middle School boy: "I want to- *wild arm motions* BOOM- Japan. Little boy? Japan- destroy."


Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #202 on: May 20, 2011, 08:00:21 am »
Me: High five!
Student: Teacher. . .
Me: What?
Student: Skinship *Smiles*

Me: What does Air con and Remote con mean?
Student: Air container and remote conditioner.
Me: No, it's. . .
Student: Air controller, Air contractor, Air constant, Air Con. . .Con. . .contradiction!


  • theTazz
  • Veteran

    • 150

    • March 30, 2011, 08:33:51 am
    • Jeju Island
Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #203 on: May 20, 2011, 08:08:46 am »
A sixth grade boy to me yesterday: "Teacha, you are very handsome."

I'm a girl.  :o


  • Scotty031
  • Waygookin

    • 15

    • October 07, 2010, 02:22:15 pm
    • Seoul/Korea
Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #204 on: May 20, 2011, 09:35:51 am »
CONTEXT: Playing the "Mafia" game. . .
GOALS: Having the students express reasons as to why they would like to kill off one of their peers suspected of being apart of the mafia. . .

TEACHER: So why do you want to kill him before you kill off anyone else in this classroom?
STUDENT: TEACHER!!! I FEEL. . .I. . .FEEL. . .he uh. . .he. . .HE GAY BAR GANGSTER!!!


  • lisselou
  • Adventurer

    • 44

    • November 03, 2010, 09:23:10 am
    • Korea
Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #205 on: May 20, 2011, 09:52:30 am »
"Teacher, your body good, your hair color good, your fashion style good. You shexy."


Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #206 on: May 20, 2011, 10:04:55 am »
what color is yellow?

he got the question and the answer mixed up


  • mountaingoat
  • Adventurer

    • 29

    • March 28, 2011, 07:47:27 am
    • Taebaek, Gangwon-do
Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #207 on: May 20, 2011, 10:17:44 am »
While playing a murder mystery game with my grade three class, I had two characters, both men (one of which was the murdered and therefore lying), in the bathroom at the same time. One boy comes up and says "Teachahhhh, they in the bathroom. What are they doing in the bathroom, togezerrrrrrr?? WHAT ARE THEY DOING? TOGEZERRRR!??!"

The same kid then later shouted at another boy "You habe a bery small penis."


  • Jozigirl
  • Hero of Waygookistan

    • 1045

    • May 03, 2011, 07:37:47 am
Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #208 on: May 20, 2011, 10:22:47 am »
"Teacher, you look soooo beautiful today.  You must be pregnant!" - at which point my co-teacher smacks him over the head and reprimands him sternly in Korean.


Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #209 on: May 20, 2011, 10:42:43 am »
One of my 5th grade girls once asked me after class, "Teacher, how is your eyesight? Mine is 20/20." It totally caught me off guard not only because of how random it was but also because my school's English level is pretty low overall. 

One of the kids from my between-classes fan club told me once "Teacher, your pen-ees very big." I quickly told him it wasn't polite to say such things but in the back of my mind I couldn't help but think to a particular episode of South Park...


Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #210 on: May 20, 2011, 11:02:59 am »
"When I'm study English, I am always hard."

"Teacher, what means 'MILF'?"

"Teacher you loong-like Looney" - apparently I either look crazy or like the Man U player Wayne Rooney. I'd like to think neither. ^^


  • wong812
  • Adventurer

    • 72

    • November 01, 2010, 12:08:18 pm
    • Hwaseong si, Dongtan
Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #211 on: May 20, 2011, 11:46:30 am »
Grade 6 Lesson 5 May I Help You?

Me: OK. Who can tell me, what is the conversation?
Kid A: May I kill you?
Kid B: Yes. Here's the knife.



Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #212 on: May 20, 2011, 12:03:34 pm »
Yesterday I was teaching about gun culture in America. I showed a picture of James Garfield and said "this president was shot to death. Who is he?"

Student: "beard... gun... Osama Bin Laden." He then acted it out.


  • lindsaydp1
  • Veteran

    • 145

    • August 24, 2010, 08:36:00 am
    • Yeongcheon, South Korea
Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #213 on: May 20, 2011, 12:51:57 pm »
A sixth grade boy to me yesterday: "Teacha, you are very handsome."

I'm a girl.  :o

I get this too, because my hair is pretty short:) When I first arrived at this school, the intro class Q and A also included, "Teacher, hair short why?"

Otherwise, I was teaching a class on dirty jobs the other day, as found on this site, and the kids had to think of jobs for me to do.

Me: Ok, so what dirty job do you have for me?
Student: A Sumo wrestler's ass-cleaner.
Me: Ok.... What must I do for this job?
Student: Clean the sumo wrestler's ass when he takes a shit.

Also:

Me: So what's job do you have for me?
Student (high level 3rd grade HS): A Marine in North Korea.
Me: Ok, sounds good. How much will you pay me?
Student: Nothing, it's voluntary.
Me: Fair enough. Would you do it?
Student, with a very solemn expression on his face: Yes, because it's a case of loyalty. I am Korean! 
Class erupts into applause and cheering. Hoo-Rah!

Then, a few weeks ago, I did a lesson on storytelling, and the kids had to do a word by word story. They'd tell me a word and I'd write it on the board, and then the next group would add on to it, so it became rather amusing. Most classes had the protagonist die within the first sentence, but this class was great:

"The crime murder in the bedroom was a mystery. Many knives were found with blood by the police. A man was murdered by Won Goo (a student in the class) but he disappeared. The cook's dead body was horrible because Won Goo cut the body into four pieces. The police ate the cook's head, and drank the poison to kill himself. It was discovered that Won Goo was the policeman. He killed the cook because he was a psycho and he loved Won Goo's girlfriend."

Totally.


  • leabea87
  • Veteran

    • 120

    • March 02, 2011, 01:36:05 pm
    • Gyeongsan, South Korea
Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #214 on: May 20, 2011, 01:26:27 pm »
I show my students a picture of the movie, "The Breakup" with Jennifer Aniston. I told them the problem based on the picture. they had to give me suggestions for the couple. One student said, "In my opinion, she should kick the a**." Another student said, "he should give her money."


  • architype
  • Adventurer

    • 26

    • November 02, 2010, 11:47:00 am
    • Seoul, South Korea
Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #215 on: May 23, 2011, 03:11:51 pm »
Today was 6th grade, Lesson 6, Storytime.

Co-teacher: *asking class* When is Gyeonwu supposed to be with Jiknyeo?
Student A: *not paying attention* I'm hungry...
Co-teacher: He's supposed to be with Jiknyeo when he's hungry??
Student B: Yes! Because she has a lot of food!
Student C: Because she IS food.


Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #216 on: May 23, 2011, 03:27:57 pm »
Today : Ss - Teacher how old are you?
            Me - I'm 10yrs old..lol
            Ss - How old is Mrs.... (my co-teacher)?
            T - She's 11 yrs old..lol
            Ss - Teacher i'm older then you 2 i'm 12yrs old Wow!
            Other students looking baffled..lol

my 1st day in class. (Ss to my Co Teacher)
            Ss - Teacher i'm going to razer you.
            CT - What?
            Ss - I'm going to razer you ( as he holds a small razor)
            CT - What are you talking about?
            Ss - I'm going to razer you all over like this (as he uses his finger and runs it around
                   my CT).
           (ME - Thinking this Ss is going to cut my CT up what should I do and why does she
            look so calm)?
           * Come to find he meant he was going to use his Lazer pen and lazer her all over...lol




  • Jozigirl
  • Hero of Waygookistan

    • 1045

    • May 03, 2011, 07:37:47 am
Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #217 on: May 23, 2011, 03:33:51 pm »
Using the Dating Etiquette lesson someone posted, my students wrote online dating profiles for assigned photos.  One of my boys wrote: "I tried making girlfriends but found them unsatisfying". Another commented that he wants "a sex woman" which had the entire class in stitches - fortunately it was said by the nicest kid in my class so he took their laughter in his stride and just joked it off (before sliding under his desk in embarrassment).


  • Brirish
  • Veteran

    • 90

    • March 22, 2011, 03:33:52 pm
    • Namyangju
Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #218 on: May 23, 2011, 03:36:30 pm »
Student bounds into classroom and says to female co-teacher: "Hello Teacher!... Giggidy."

I'm sure this 3rd grader has no knowledge of what Family Guy is, but that just made it even more amusing to me.


  • Laura T
  • Waygookin

    • 14

    • March 15, 2011, 05:09:56 pm
    • Rep. Korea
Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #219 on: May 23, 2011, 03:37:41 pm »
Grandfather's father is Great Grandfather.
Then, how about great grandfather's father?

S: Excellent Grandfather!