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Symposium => Pictures, Blogs, & Video-blogs (new)! => Topic started by: AnthonyTeacher on April 26, 2011, 07:45:58 am

Title: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: AnthonyTeacher on April 26, 2011, 07:45:58 am
Hello everyone,

I just finished my newest project, www.stuffmystudentssaid.com (http://www.stuffmystudentssaid.com).  This site is a place where teachers can post the hilarious or insightful things their students say.  It's a pretty simple site, which functions much like a few of my favorite user-generated content sites such as www.notalwaysright.com.  Since it is a new site, I am still in need of content.  Please think about contributing.  It only takes a few minutes! Please post on the website.  Thanks!

Also if you see any bugs, or have any comments or suggestions, please let me know!

-Anthony
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: Yu_Bumsuk on April 26, 2011, 08:04:08 am
Yesterday I had yet another student say that her mother's hobby is housework.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: thektulu7 on April 26, 2011, 08:43:23 am
It's a pretty simple site, which functions much like a few of my other user-generated content sites like www.notalwaysright.com.
-Anthony

Wait. Are you claiming to have made notalwaysright.com?
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: NicknameHaHA on April 26, 2011, 08:44:36 am
I asked my students to use their imaginations and answer a series of questions. One of the questions was "why are you looking at the map." In response a student wrote: "My job is earth protect hero. I need to memorize the map." Love it!
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: DMZ on April 26, 2011, 08:46:17 am
Test question (Social Sciences paper, not ESL): What was the contraption used to behead people during the French Revolution?

Student Answer: Yes.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: Danihel on April 26, 2011, 09:34:02 am
Me: OK guys, team names!

Student: **** you!
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: Kris Kringle on April 26, 2011, 09:38:54 am
Me: Let's name some jobs, any jobs.
Student:  스티브.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: Jugazza on April 26, 2011, 09:41:03 am
From a stint in a hagwon last year. When asked to use a room name and a verb in the present continuous in a sentence Luke replied: "He's dying in the living room."
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: Death Walrus on April 26, 2011, 09:42:08 am
lesson on careers...

Me: what do you want to be in the future?

Student: Killer.

Another Student: God.

(my high school students may be sociopaths)
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: jdb1983 on April 26, 2011, 09:43:51 am
Teacher: What day is it today?

Student: It's sunny.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: hezyrd on April 26, 2011, 09:51:17 am
I had to choose a team who sang the best during class (whoever was best got to leave class first.) I chose who I thought was singing the best and one of the losing students looked at me and screamed "YOUR CHOICE MEANS NOTHING!" and stormed out of the room. 
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: Koala83 on April 26, 2011, 09:51:45 am
lesson on careers...

Me: what do you want to be in the future?

Student: Killer.

Another Student: God.

(my high school students may be sociopaths)

What kind of career list are you teaching?  :o
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: Ochodnid on April 26, 2011, 09:57:54 am
I am working on a comic idea for what my students say. I have a total of 42 typed-pages, but they are not standard paragraph form. They are typed in dialogue text. Some of my favorites. . .

1) Student: Teacher!?! Girlfriend?
Me: Friends.
Student: MARRIED?
Me: Just friends.
Students: BABIES! NO! YOU ARE MINE!

2) Student: Teacher, you have small head. You ugly.
Me: I have a normal head. You have a big head.
Student: Teacher, I tall. You short. You ugly.
Me: I am average. You are a giant.
Student: You are stupid. I am smart.
Me: I have German chocolate.
Student: HANDSOME! You SO amazing. I love you. You are. . .the. . .amazing man-man with . . .beautiful skin and great things.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: makeshiftb0y on April 26, 2011, 10:05:35 am
lesson on careers...

Me: what do you want to be in the future?

Student: Killer.

Another Student: God.

(my high school students may be sociopaths)

Some of the responses I remember from last semester: gay bar bartender, gay bar CEO, arsonist, father, and homeless.

There were some other gems, but I can't recall what they were.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: AnthonyTeacher on April 26, 2011, 10:13:25 am
"Wait. Are you claiming to have made notalwaysright.com?"

Sorry I meant to say, it functions like a few of my other FAVORITE sites!

Please post on the website if you want to contribute.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: ladyrhavyn on April 26, 2011, 10:19:26 am
I'm from Alaska.

FUNNIEST question to be asked yet - about Alaska
3 students in 1 class asked me this - 4th graders

   S: Teacher? You like dogs?
   Me: Yes I like dogs.
   S: Teacher, Alaska has dogs?
  Me: Yes, Alaska has dogs.
   S: Alaska peoples eat dog cat?
  Me: (Shocked at being asked!) GOODNESS no,
  S: Alaska not part of china russia?
  Me: No, We're part of the U.S.  (Co t steps in, we get a map)
  S: (After seeing a map) OH! Alaska! Why not part of Canada?
  Me: Thats another long story....(laughs!)
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: hanndan on April 26, 2011, 10:23:07 am
This was during some game involving points for each team.....

Student:"Teacher Me Police call"
(Student mimed calling Police)
Me "Why?"
Student:" Points no give"

Much laughter from class and teacher..I  passed her my cellphone at this point ...

It was a basic second grade Elementary class so you have to give some credit for the English.
Needless to say the Police never got called.....

Funny student...:)

Other funny things..

Teacher : How are you?
Student : I'm die
Teacher : Yes very funny...

(Probably hear this one 5 times a day from my fifth grade students...)







Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: manonthemoon on April 26, 2011, 10:27:34 am
Me: What do you want to be in the future?
Student: A father.
Me: I mean what is your dream job?
Student: To be a father.
Me: That's cool, then who will you marry?
Student: My mother.
Me: That's kind of strange!
Student:sorry.

Student 1- She copied my answer.
Student 2- No, i said it first.
Student 1- No, I wrote Korean, because I am Korean.
Student 2- Well, I am Korean too.
Me: She has a point, you are both korean.

Students arguing about whether trucks are cars in my high level conversation class

Student 1- It is not a car. you can't say truck is a car.
Student 2- No it is bigger than a car. more wheels.
Student 3- I think it is the same as a car.
Student 4- Yes, I think it is the same as a car too.
Me: Ok, let's take a vote, who thinks a truck is a car?
Student 1- Teacher, this is not a democracy! THIS IS NOT A DEMOCRACY!! Why are we voting, it is not a car.
(this was soo funny)
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: bebuggery on April 26, 2011, 10:30:37 am
Student: Teacher, give me candy!
Me: Why should I give you candy?
Student: Because I pretty girl, I will sex you!

Bonus: All-boys middle school.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: Taniwha on April 26, 2011, 10:39:09 am
Middle schoolers.....

Student: Teacher.... ummm beeeeeee!!!!!! boooommmmm!!!!!! splash!!!!!...... ok?
Me: you mean your shoe fell off?
Student: yes


Me: what job does your mum do?
Student: my mum eats toast

Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: karenology on April 26, 2011, 11:00:01 am
"Let's go to Sky Land" (their word for "heaven" - it's more entertaining than hearing the usual "let's all die!")

Once I interrupted a clip from a movie, and the whole class screamed.  One kid in particular yelled, at the top of his lungs, "TEACHER!  I NEED CLIMAX!!!"  I about died laughing on the spot.  It didn't help that the other kids in the class repeated him!  I don't even know how to begin to correct them on that...

I've also had several students say their "dream" is to be a "father" (though none of mine have fessed to an Oedipal complex!)  Usually it's from the worst kids, too.  Probably because their fathers rule the house with an iron fist...
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: pohangmimi on April 26, 2011, 11:11:04 am
"Teacher, teacher, oh no. We do hand job." ( when asking they if they planned to use the vaccum to clean the floor instead of using their hands)

" Oh no teacher I can't.  Your English makes me too excited!" ( when asking a student to stand up to role play with another student. I died a little bit that day)
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: notinKS on April 26, 2011, 11:20:16 am
While studying "I'd like to" I showed them a picture of George Bush eating a cat (I'm about 98% sure it's photo-shopped). One of my students pipes up "Ooh! Teacher! Not hot dog, hot cat!" Then two minutes later: "Teacher! It's KFC!" I almost wet my pants  :laugh:
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: sophia on April 26, 2011, 11:33:11 am
Christmas lesson grade 2.

I am showing them images of Santa Claus going through the chimney.

Student 1: Teacha? He is like NINJAAA.
Me: Yes, yes he is exactly like a ninja,
Student 2: Teacha! He steal money??
Me: No, Santa gives presents.
Student 2 looks at me unconvinced and says: he steal money....
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: Laura123 on April 26, 2011, 11:47:19 am
I had taught my kids 'pain in the neck' the week before and was reviewing the previous class. I called on one of my students...

me: 'If your friend or someone is annoying you, you can say thay are being a real ________ ??
student: 'bastard'

Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: Stella on April 26, 2011, 12:01:49 pm
Me: "How are you?"
5th grade student: "Teacher, I feel like ddong"
Hilarious!
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: Cereal on April 26, 2011, 12:07:25 pm
Teaching the months of the year to Grade 3 Elementary students one little darling started off: January which was follwed by a lengthy pause and then Twouary!!!

I laughed! It makes sense from their perspective!!!
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: Ley_Druid on April 26, 2011, 12:11:18 pm
Student: Teecha! You Jesus!

Teacher: I am a Genius?

Student: Yeah.. no... You Jesus and Genius!

Whole class: JESUS! JESUS!
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: SBracken on April 26, 2011, 02:07:14 pm
Sometimes I'm not too sure what my students do during their 10-minute breaks...


I see 4 students (boys) carrying a fifth by each of his limbs, face up. All of them are smiling, so I wasn't... that... worried

Student 1: *sees my approach* TEACHA! HIII, HIIII TEACHA!

Students 2, 3, 4: ah, teacha! HI!

Student being carried: waaaaaa!!! heellp! help teacha!

Me: ah... hi guys... where are you going?

Student being carried: teacha HEEEELLLLPPP!!!!

Student 3: we kill him!! *much enthusiastic nodding*

Me: I'm sorry? (they're used to me saying this for 'can you repeat that?')

Student 3: we KILL him! die! die!

Student 2: ok! bye teacha! bye, bye!

They were all in class 7 minutes later, perfectly unscathed....



edit: another post reminded me about a HS class last week. BG: Students can earn english tokens from me for good work, sometimes out of class as well, for really good English. a girl was comlaining after class quite vocally and vehemently that she hated English, and it soon became
Student 1: Teacha! Englishee hard, no Englishee!

Me: English, *good*- English can be fun. But it's hard work, yes, it's difficult.

Student 1: Noooooo, teacha! Englishee BAD, I HATE you teacha!

random Student 2 from hallway: Ah, Teacha, hi teacha! *sees my reward bag I usually carry* ah! Teacha! Englishee coupon! you have candy?? I speak good Englishee, you give me coupon??

Student 1: oh, teacha I LOVE you! coupon? coupon? Englishee good, I love you teacha....
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: appletarty on April 26, 2011, 02:14:09 pm
Teacher you a little fat, yes?

Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: appletarty on April 26, 2011, 02:15:54 pm
Me: Get off the ground, what are you doing?

Student: teacha teacha, he dongggginggggg dong dong dongingggg (whilst squeezing his face and pretending to do a poo)

Haha, cheeky brat!
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: liam.kelly on April 26, 2011, 03:14:31 pm
Teacher...you have Powerade eyes.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: elle* on April 26, 2011, 03:19:51 pm
Teacher you have doll hair..
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: jujibi on April 26, 2011, 03:21:44 pm
For White Day one of my students wrote the following:

Dear Teacher <3
I love you. You are special.
Sure, me too!
So we can became a beautiful couple
Are you thrilled??? Hahahaha
Don't be afraid I am a fake.
It was so funny that it's hanging up in my office~

He then proceeded to say: Teecha you are girl so gibooo me a chocolate!

Awww lil rascals~  ;)
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: denimdaze on April 26, 2011, 03:23:31 pm
One of my students came up to me and told me that he had heard that Americans eat sandwiches for lunch everyday.  As I'm an American, I told him that this was not true.  Yes, sandwiches are common, but we have many other things to eat for lunch.  Sometimes the stereotypes amaze me. ::)
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: mojussa on April 26, 2011, 03:36:25 pm
One of my students came up to me and told me that he had heard that Americans eat sandwiches for lunch everyday.  As I'm an American, I told him that this was not true.  Yes, sandwiches are common, but we have many other things to eat for lunch.  Sometimes the stereotypes amaze me. ::)

...and if your school is like mine you eat Korea and Kimchi everyday for lunch. haha maybe myth busted in this situation if Koreans eat Kimchi for lunch everyday.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: misspigeon on April 27, 2011, 09:36:02 am
My 6th graders recently picked up "What the hell!" from someone so now I hear it with everything. Greeting me - "Hi teacher! What the hell!" Winning a game - "아싸! What the hell!" Asking to go to the bathroom - "Teacher, bathroom. What the hell!"
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: datrujil on April 27, 2011, 10:00:26 am
At the end of a Typhoon game:

CT: Ok, this team is the losing team and this team is the winnning team.
Student from losing team: YES!!!! We are the Winners!!!!!!! Losers are winners!!!!!!!!!

I couldn't stop laughing~
---------------------------------------------------
My fifth graders observing my third graders talk to me.
5th grade student: Teacher they worship you.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: odie on April 27, 2011, 10:12:49 am
Teacher: For a bonus point, who killed Julius Caesar?
Student: Brutus!
Teacher: What were Julius Caesar's last words?
Student: Oh my God!
Student 2: OMG!!
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: The.it.girl on April 27, 2011, 10:20:00 am
T: Student's what is this part of your body called? (pointing to my wrist)
S: ARM NECK TEECHA!!!

T: Student's what is this part of your body called? (pointing to my Ankle)
S:FOOT NECK TEECHA!!!!

One that blew away recently~  :o

Chan Ho why are you always sleeping in class?
Chan Ho's response: Teecha mother father bed sport play every every nigh!! Father win mother cry (writes the times on the board) 11pm- 3am TEECHA EVERY NIGHT BED SPORTS I NOT SLEEP SO I SLEEP IN CLASS!!!

I don't have to tell you what bed sports are^^
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: flips on April 27, 2011, 10:28:36 am
T: Student's what is this part of your body called? (pointing to my wrist)
S: ARM NECK TEECHA!!!

T: Student's what is this part of your body called? (pointing to my Ankle)
S:FOOT NECK TEECHA!!!!

One that blew away recently~  :o

Chan Ho why are you always sleeping in class?
Chan Ho's response: Teecha mother father bed sport play every every nigh!! Father win mother cry (writes the times on the board) 11pm- 3am TEECHA EVERY NIGHT BED SPORTS I NOT SLEEP SO I SLEEP IN CLASS!!!

I don't have to tell you what bed sports are^^

i laughed....a lot.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: teacher_del on April 27, 2011, 10:32:49 am
Every time I see this class: 

Teacher: How are you?
Student:  I am FANTASTIC and TERRIBLE!
Teacher: And crazy!
Student:  Yes, I crajy!
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: awaygookindarok on April 27, 2011, 10:33:38 am
T: Student's what is this part of your body called? (pointing to my wrist)
S: ARM NECK TEECHA!!!

T: Student's what is this part of your body called? (pointing to my Ankle)
S:FOOT NECK TEECHA!!!!

One that blew away recently~  :o

Chan Ho why are you always sleeping in class?
Chan Ho's response: Teecha mother father bed sport play every every nigh!! Father win mother cry (writes the times on the board) 11pm- 3am TEECHA EVERY NIGHT BED SPORTS I NOT SLEEP SO I SLEEP IN CLASS!!!

I don't have to tell you what bed sports are^^

i laughed....a lot.

I almost peed my pants laughing at this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: awaygookindarok on April 27, 2011, 10:40:14 am
Student: Teacher, you looks handsome today.
Me: Thank you. Women are pretty, men are handsome.
Student: Umm, but you looks like MAN!!!!!!!!!!
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: awaygookindarok on April 27, 2011, 10:40:59 am
Student: Teacher, you looks handsome today.
Me: Thank you. Women are pretty, men are handsome.
Student: Umm, but you looks like MAN!!!!!!!!!!

I should have said I am a female with a short haircut!
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: CMTC on April 27, 2011, 11:21:06 am
I taught 5th and 6th grade last year, but knew some of the 4th graders that were in the classroom beside our office.  One of them wrote me a letter one day .......

Teacher
Hi~teacher my name is Sarah.
I am happy.
Maybe teacher like beef.
I am like beef.
Love teacher
GoodBye
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: chizzin on April 27, 2011, 11:30:01 am
The other week a girl said;

'Teacher you are the chicken, I am the bread' 

Had me in stitches.

Next week she corrected herself.  'You are a chicken, I am brave.'
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: kmbette on April 27, 2011, 11:32:36 am
Teacher: What are you doing?
Student: I'M A GANGSTAAAAA!
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: ramackenzie on April 27, 2011, 12:12:51 pm
Teacher: Some days I go for a run before dinner, some days after dinner.
Student: But teacher, if you eat after run you get fat.

Student: Teacher ... what? (pointing to my water bottle)
Teacher: Just water.
Student: Is it delicious?

Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: Odang on April 27, 2011, 12:25:00 pm
I was teaching a phonics class to a young group of first and second graders.  There was one girl who was paticularly enthusiastic.

On this day, we were working on the letter C, sounding as a K or as a S sound.  The word we were working on was CENT.

Me: Ok, what word is this?
Girl: Kent? Kent kent kent!
Me: No
girl: Kant? Oh teacher, Kant kant kant.
me: No, try again
girl:  K*nt? (put a U in there) teacher teacher teacher K8nt K8nt K8nt!


Well I was both floored and mortified that this terrible word just came out of the mouth of a 6 year old.  But, it was sort of my fault.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: WTEChesser on April 27, 2011, 12:30:57 pm
Student: TEEEEEEACHER!!!!
Me:  You look very happy today.
Student: Yes, I am very happy.
Me: Why are you so happy?
Student: My grandfather died yesterday!
Me: Um...
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: sashman02 on April 27, 2011, 12:43:10 pm
Student A: Teacher, I can't write. My hand is sick.
Me: You say "I hurt my hand." What happened to it?
Student B: Teacher, he masturbates too much.
Me: Uncontrollable giggle. (I tried to stop, but I really wasn't expecting that answer.)
The rest of the class looks quizzically at Student B.
Student B explains in Korean.
Everyone laughs except student A, who shouts "No! No! other hand, other hand!"   
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: Rita.Kolan on April 27, 2011, 12:50:21 pm
I was teaching the amazing lesson I found off of here where students do palm reading:

Student: "Teacher!  No love line!  No love line."
Me: "You have one.  Everyone has one."
(I walk over and put my hand on his desk to show him where it is.
 Student takes my hand in both of his.)
Student: "Teacher, our loves the same."

I backed away quickly while smiling. 
I was honestly a little impressed with his attempt.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: architype on April 27, 2011, 12:50:55 pm
I see 4 students (boys) carrying a fifth by each of his limbs, face up. All of them are smiling, so I wasn't... that... worried

Student 1: *sees my approach* TEACHA! HIII, HIIII TEACHA!

Students 2, 3, 4: ah, teacha! HI!

Student being carried: waaaaaa!!! heellp! help teacha!

Me: ah... hi guys... where are you going?

Student being carried: teacha HEEEELLLLPPP!!!!

Student 3: we kill him!! *much enthusiastic nodding*

Me: I'm sorry? (they're used to me saying this for 'can you repeat that?')

Student 3: we KILL him! die! die!

Student 2: ok! bye teacha! bye, bye!

They were all in class 7 minutes later, perfectly unscathed....

Oh God, the exact same thing happened to me the other day. Except the first thing I said was, "What are you doing? Do you guys LOVE him?" The four students manhandling the fifth blinked, and immediately answered, "Yes, love! We love him so much! LOVE!" and then marched him off to the bathroom, presumably for some... loving.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: Gunpojohnny on April 27, 2011, 12:58:27 pm
Teeeechuaaa! Can I touch your blue eyes? Are you stronger than my dad?
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: eemneedah on April 27, 2011, 01:05:15 pm
Okay everyone, on your coloured paper write: My favourite food is ... (Kevin shows me his) "My favourite food is pork ****-let."

For a whiteboard game they had to write the answer and after the 'countdown' hold up their small whiteboards and show me.. I had been teaching them 'I am an only child' for the lesson 'This is my family'. After a grueling game with quick countdowns and intense competition between the kids a picture of a cute single child pops up on the PPT and I say to the kids 'Okay she has no brothers and no sisters. She will say "I am ..." Five, four, three, two, one ... Hold up your boards! Team 1 Holds up their board and with wide innocent eyes anticipate my awarding them a point. Written on the board were the words 'I am only a child.'

One of my kids uses the exclamation 'Great Scott!' every time I see him.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: kat on April 27, 2011, 02:06:04 pm
One of my grade six girls responded to the question "Which season do you like?"  With this "I like summer because I can go swimming and see boys six packs."

The same girl usually respond to "How are you?" with "I'm great because of Justin Bieber."  I must admit she does keep class interesting, I often wonder what she will say next.

In the same class I have a student called Bob.  Another student misheard his name, thinking he was called Bap (Korean word for rice)  Ever since then about half the class have started calling him Rice. 
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: manonthemoon on April 27, 2011, 02:40:54 pm
two kids were arguing about which one i liked best! I usually high five the kids when they come in! I high fived the girl, the boy then started to hug me! Then they had a conversation in English.

girl: He likes me best.
boy: he likes me more best.
girl: We are friends.
boy: We are brother.
girl: We are best friends.
Boy: WE FAMILY!  (shouting)

the girl stopped! I was watching them like a tennis match while waiting to start the lesson.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: manonthemoon on April 27, 2011, 02:47:17 pm
My kids are so funny, I could post these all day!

two students were talking in my after school class. one boy decided to call himself Elizabeth. His nickname was Babo (stupid). One day he was fighting with a girl about a pen.

Girl: Give me the pen.
Boy: No
Girl: Ya, Babo, give me the pen
Boy: (so proud) My name is Elizabeth.

same boy another game.

Boy 1: What's your favourite colour?
Elizabeth: Pink.
Boy 1 and 2: HA HA HA
Elizabeth: (straight face) Why?  really! it's pink.
Boy 1 and 2: OH!

maybe u had to be there to see these 2! very funny
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: AnthonyTeacher on April 27, 2011, 05:49:08 pm
I added some of these to my website (www.stuffmystudentssaid.com).  Please feel free to add more there!  Keep them coming!  Some of these are hilarious!

Also, I'd like to get some stuff from places other than Korea.  If you have funny teaching experiences elsewhere, or know any other teachers, please use this site!

Thanks
-Anthony
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: Yu_Bumsuk on April 27, 2011, 06:09:52 pm
Teacher: Some days I go for a run before dinner, some days after dinner.
Student: But teacher, if you eat after run you get fat.

Student: Teacher ... what? (pointing to my water bottle)
Teacher: Just water.
Student: Is it delicious?

'Teachah, is Marlboro cigarette delicious?'
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: bonz on April 27, 2011, 07:01:58 pm
I showed my students a picture of a puppy today expecting them to use the vocabulary I taught them I like ...puppies. Instead they shouted delicious ::)
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: bencrow on April 27, 2011, 10:06:14 pm
"Teacher, I am a hedgehog."

Later, he corrected himself: "I have a hedgehog."
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: H.W. on April 27, 2011, 10:12:51 pm
H.W. Teacher's discussion question of the day: "What are you afraid of?"

90% of students: "I am afraid of ghosts/tests/mom."

1 little pint-sized Sartre: "I am afraid of society."
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: jangng on April 27, 2011, 10:16:33 pm
I had a whole class of 3rd graders yelling, "SCIENCE GAMEEEE!!! SCIENCE GAME!!"

Took me a day to figure out that they wanted to play "Simon Says."
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: WTEChesser on April 27, 2011, 11:11:37 pm
H.W. Teacher's discussion question of the day: "What are you afraid of?"

90% of students: "I am afraid of ghosts/tests/mom."

1 little pint-sized Sartre: "I am afraid of society."

Brilliant. Hell is other people.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: Mezoti97 on April 27, 2011, 11:23:04 pm
"Teacher, I am a hedgehog."

Later, he corrected himself: "I have a hedgehog."

That reminds me of this one time during my first semester teaching here in Korea: the students were doing a writing assignment in class and there was this one boy (I'll call him "Boy #1") who didn't have a pencil. His English wasn't good, so this other boy ("Boy #2") who was sitting next to him tried to help him out by calling me over and letting me know that Boy #1 didn't have a pencil. But instead of saying, "He doesn't have a pencil" or "He needs a pencil," Boy #2 pointed to Boy #1 and said, "He is a pencil." Luckily for them, I understood what he meant to say, but unluckily for them, two girls sitting nearby (both of whom were good at English) overheard what Boy #2 had said and also understood, so they totally cracked up -- just burst out laughing and got a huge kick out of it. Haha.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: Mezoti97 on April 28, 2011, 12:07:05 am
A couple more:

Once, at my previous school, I gave my students an English dictation quiz (in which I say aloud some sentences in English, and the students have to be able to write out and spell the sentences correctly in English). For the students who got a score of zero, I would make them write the alphabet 5 times for homework and also told them to get their quizzes signed by their homeroom teacher. Anyway, in one of my classes, I asked one of my students who got a zero where his quiz was (since they were supposed to show me their quizzes with their homeroom teacher's signature). He couldn't really answer as his English wasn't good, so a couple other students (who also got zeroes) tried to help him out. They were all kind of struggling to answer me, but finally managed to say that it's "at classroom and home." I just sort of looked at them blankly and repeated in a puzzled tone, "Your quiz is in your classroom and at home?" and they nodded their heads and were like, "Yes!" Hahaha...it was funny -- I couldn't hold in my laughter and just cracked up! (The kids were laughing, too, by the way).

For the students who got perfect scores on their quizzes, I gave them a reward of gum from my home country. One boy was chewing his gum and wanted to tell me that the taste/flavor is much stronger than Korean gum, but he didn't really know how to put it, so he ended up just saying, "Teacher! The gum is....BANG!" and another boy chimed in, "Explosion!" Haha.

Another time at my old school, some students came to clean the English classroom afterschool. After they finished cleaning, they were supposed to let me know that they had finished so that I could dismiss them to go home. However, they didn't know how to say, "Finished," so instead, after thinking about it for a brief moment, one kid finally went, "Uhh...END!" Hahaha.

There was this other time at my old school when the students were playing a shopping game and they weren't allowed to speak in Korean during the game and had to try to speak only in English. For extra incentive to follow this rule, my then-co-teacher and I made a rule that the kids would have to pay us a fine of $5 (we were using fake money for the game, of course) every time we heard them speaking Korean. Anyway, obviously there were some kids who couldn't help it and would speak in Korean, so some other kids were real wise guys and wanted to get the other kids to lose money, so they'd come over to me, point to the kids who spoke in Korean and exclaim, "Korean speak!" to which I'd respond, "Oh, speaking in Korean?" Haha.

Another funny thing that happened during my first semester teaching at my old school was when my then-co-teacher asked one student to tell the rest of the class what he had for breakfast that morning. He answered the Korean foods which he had eaten (rice, kimchi, etc). My then-co-teacher proceeded to ask him what kind of utensil did he use to eat his breakfast. Well, the boy didn't know how to say "chopsticks" in English, so instead he was like, "Uhh...one [holds up an index finger]...one [holds up his other index finger]....ELEVEN!" while acting out the motion of using chopsticks with his fingers! Hahahaha, I got a real kick out of that!

Also, I've had a few occasions when I'm teaching and I ask the students a "yes-or-no" question. The students don't always pick up that the only possible answers are either "yes" or "no," so I try to help them out by repeating the question slowly and then asking, "Yes or no?" to which the students answer, "Yes or no." Ay yi yi...haha.

Similarly, sometimes when I ask my students about the weather that day, and if they don't answer, I try to help them out by asking, "Is it sunny? Or cloudy?" to which they reply, "It's sunny or cloudy." Haha.

(Needless to say, I think Korean kids are a little too accustomed to "listening and repeating" after an NET to the point where they just tend to do it automatically, blindly and robotically at times, without even really comprehending the original question asked in the first place...oy. Haha).
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: rooke42 on April 28, 2011, 07:11:50 am
Last year I set up office hours in my class during lunchtime for students who wanted to visit and practice their English. For about 6 months I got no visitors. I was starting to feel discouraged when finally one day a student came bursting through the door and yelled out "Teacher, you hot and cool guy!" and then ran away before I could respond. I work at an all boys school. That was my only visitor. Better than nothing I guess :P
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: scravens on April 28, 2011, 07:29:29 am
So during my first summer camp at the English Town I used to work at there was this kid, Joon Ho, that always would come in the office during break and chat it up. He was the best student in the whole camp and could actually carry a conversation; this being elementary school I was more than happy to chat it up with the kid. He was the student that would always use slang and go "What up bro" and give me the hand shake, chest bump greeting. So one day he was in the office and he saw a picture on my computer of pizza or something. He goes "oh delicious". So we start to talk about food. This kid was larger set and you could tell he enjoys to eat. So we started talking about expensive foods. He goes on to say "I like steak, Tuna, sashimi..." and so on with the list of nice foods. I go "wow you have an expensive pallet", the student replied with what I thought was hilarious "Yes teacher, my mouth is expensive". Brilliant, when in retrospect I told him he had an expensive pallet. He told me.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: woman-king on April 28, 2011, 07:50:08 am
H.W. Teacher's discussion question of the day: "What are you afraid of?"

90% of students: "I am afraid of ghosts/tests/mom."

1 little pint-sized Sartre: "I am afraid of society."

 :laugh:
I love kids like this.

It's pretty amazing to me how so many students manage to be funny/witty in a second language.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: meggie107 on April 28, 2011, 08:05:37 am
One of my first grade middle school students - choosing an animal picture while we are playing typhoon:
Student: Teacher, what is English word for 'gorilla'?
Me: It's gorilla.
Student: Yes, gorilla.
Me: Gorilla.
Student: What is English?
Me: Gorilla is an English word.
Student: Are you sure?
Me: Yes.
Student eyes me suspiciously.  I still don't think she believes me! She used 'King kong' to describe it after that:)
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: gricee on April 28, 2011, 08:32:51 am
On a daily basis, one of my favorite students, Seok Joon proposes to me.  Each time it's the same:

"Emiiillyyyyy!  I lubuh you!  Will you marry with meeeeee?"

He's also laid claim to me as his possession and if he sees a boy doesn't like talking to me, he'll pull him away saying, "You, no!  She is mine!"

Last year, I had groupies at my desk everyday during cleaning time.  One day an argument started over which student had the best English.  As the argument escalated, finally one girl clapped her hands, threw up double peace fingers and shouted, "Teacha!  I English bery well!"  When all was said and done, she was actually the winner of the argument.


After summer vacation I asked a few kids if they visited the beach during their time off.  One boy giggled and giddily replied, "Oh yes teacher.  I go beachee.  I wear sunglass and oooooh!  I lookie at girl."
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: stevospec1 on April 28, 2011, 08:39:54 am
Let me start by saying I teach at an Automobile Vocational High School.

Now, this was during my first week at this school in my last class of the week. So I was in a good mood and this is how my "Do you have any questions for teacher Q&A went".

Student1: "Teacher do you have a girlfriend?"
Me: "Yes, I do."

Student2: "Y$!^@!%#^$*($)*)@(*$(*@& (Something in Korean)"
My Co-Teacher: He said "Teacher how much are PROSTITUTES in America?"
Me and my Co-Teacher: HAHAHAHA Laughing uncontrollably!
Me: (After gaining some composure) "I have no idea!"
Student2: "In Korea Yook man won!"
Me: Again I start to laugh! Haha

My students don't have a high English level and especially that student in particular but man are my students fun to teach!
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: Candice on April 28, 2011, 08:44:44 am
I was teaching body parts to my first graders and they were picking it up really quickly. When I got to the flashcard that showed toes, one little boy shouted out "It's a manicure!"

I really thought that was so cute.

At my previous school I asked my 4th grade students how they were and one little girl replied that it was "raining in her mind" that day. She was such a serious little thing. I just wanted to give her a big hug.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: emwsu on April 28, 2011, 09:23:52 am
For a whiteboard game I have separate boards for each group. While I was passing them out one student thought he would be funny and wrote "sun of a beach"
I heard him saying it out loud and to his group to try and spell it right. But this time my CT and I started laughing as soon as he showed it.  My school has asked me to ignore and curse words, which has actually worked they don't try to use them so much when I don't react. But in this case my CT explained the mistake in Korean and the whole class got a good laugh. That kid never tried to curse in my class again!
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: Gillod on April 28, 2011, 09:34:14 am
During a scrambled sentence game, the sentence was: Eat your soup with a spoon.

One kid like LEAPS out of his seat, full of confidence and proudly shouts: "Eat your soup with your penis!"
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: mountaingoat on April 28, 2011, 09:38:44 am
I like how the boys in my afterschool class described one of their ex-girlfriends: "She is tall, and big, and deep voice like man. She's like gorilla."

I also had a student tell me at the beginning of class that my 'hair style' (which was me not wearing it tied back) made me look like an ajumma. Kids can be so harsh sometimes. I'm only 22!
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: Gunpo_Erin on April 28, 2011, 09:54:14 am
I have a grade 4 student who likes to sneak up on me and scare me.  The girl is stealthily quiet too.  The other day she asked me, after scaring me:
"Teacha- pee in your pants?"
"No I didn't pee my pants."
"NExt time you pee your pants, Teacha"

And then she left. 
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: minceandcheese on April 28, 2011, 09:56:24 am
Student: "Teacher, I like cock. Do you like cock?"

Me: "Ummm, yeah, long o sound buddy! Coke! I like Coke."
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: natale_laplante on April 28, 2011, 10:22:14 am
Last week while playing Hangman, the word I had chosen was "hydro" as we were talking about alternative energy.

Me: *writing in 'O'* Yes. There is an 'O'.

Particularly Loud Student: POLIO!

Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: bscott on April 28, 2011, 10:34:49 am
I collected written bits on stickey notes last year when I taught at a Hogwon - kids write the craziest things in their manditory English diaries:

http://users.livejournal.com/blayne_/tag/konglish (http://users.livejournal.com/blayne_/tag/konglish)

Recently, at my new school (Elementary/Public), I had a student ask me "Teacher, are you a Canada-human?" :)
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: klorptar on April 28, 2011, 01:32:01 pm
I received the following note complete with a dancing cartoon spider:

"Break a fixed idea that spider is scared and horror animal!!!

From: Sherlock
Address: London Baker Street 221 B

To: J Teacher."

 
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: Pin on April 28, 2011, 01:37:49 pm
Me:  Hi, Henry!

(Henry runs away)

Me:  Why are you running away?

Henry:  You're a STRANGER!!
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: stuart on April 28, 2011, 01:42:39 pm
Playing "Teacher Bingo".  The answer was brown and a student guesses the question "What color is your dong?"  Well I'm Black, but I reserved judgement until I could ask a Korea friend what "dong" means in Korean.  I was actually relieved to find out it means "poop" here in The Land of the Morning Calm. 
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: mdahl45 on April 28, 2011, 01:43:08 pm
homework: tell me about your day

In the morrning I get up eat breakfast and take a shower.
At 7:30 I ride my father to school.

(Its not good when you laugh at the students and don't want to tell them why.)
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: unclefrank on April 28, 2011, 01:44:06 pm
Me playing hangman:

Category: Movies - ____  ____  ____  _____ (Jaws)

Student: (after pondering a bit, and in all seriousness) Teacher! Transformers!!!
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: mountaingoat on April 28, 2011, 02:12:46 pm
I collected written bits on stickey notes last year when I taught at a Hogwon - kids write the craziest things in their manditory English diaries:

http://users.livejournal.com/blayne_/tag/konglish (http://users.livejournal.com/blayne_/tag/konglish)


I DIIIEEEEE!!! These are flippin hilarious.  :D
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: bfontaine on April 28, 2011, 02:27:12 pm
I could write pages on this. Some of the classics:

Do you know what a squirrel is?
Yes, a tree rat

Do you know what seal is?
Yes, a water dog
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: drborde on April 28, 2011, 02:40:25 pm
I am teaching Lesson 4, Don't Touch it (Grade 4) so instead of saying Don’t touch it one of my students shouts out "Dong" touch it!
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: bscott on April 28, 2011, 02:46:04 pm
I collected written bits on stickey notes last year when I taught at a Hogwon - kids write the craziest things in their manditory English diaries:

http://users.livejournal.com/blayne_/tag/konglish (http://users.livejournal.com/blayne_/tag/konglish)


I DIIIEEEEE!!! These are flippin hilarious.  :D

LoL, thanks. :)  The kids levels were awesome at the hogwon, but sometimes things really didn't compute correctly. ;)
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: thektulu7 on April 28, 2011, 02:49:41 pm
One of my first grade middle school students - choosing an animal picture while we are playing typhoon:
Student: Teacher, what is English word for 'gorilla'?
Me: It's gorilla.
Student: Yes, gorilla.
Me: Gorilla.
Student: What is English?
Me: Gorilla is an English word.
Student: Are you sure?
Me: Yes.
Student eyes me suspiciously.  I still don't think she believes me! She used 'King kong' to describe it after that:)

Your story reminds me of a similar situation I had a couple of weeks ago.

Our topic was hobbies, and I was playing the game where one student cannot see the screen and the other students have to give clues for the student to guess the picture. I had a picture of my wife in a 노래방 with some people we met at orientation. I had the word "SINGING" at the top. After the word was correctly guessed, some students asked me what singing room was in English.

"Karaoke," I said.

"No, that's Japanese. What English?" I had to insist that it was karaoke, and my co-teacher even revealed his confusion by asking me what the English word was. He insisted that "karaoke" was the Japanese word for singing room.

So I had to explain that English is a thieving and conniving language, demonstrating with examples like karaoke and pretzel and so on. I think by the end, I had to assert "karaoke" as ALSO being an English word at least 7 or 8 times.

But yeah...Gorilla. Karaoke is understandable because it even sounds Japanese. But gorilla?
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: AC_in_Korea on April 28, 2011, 02:52:30 pm
I was teaching animals to my grade 3 extra class, using little stuffed animals.  I held up the pig and asked "What's this?"  One of the girls replied with, "donkasuh" - which is pork cutlet in Korean.

Yesterday was a humid day.  I asked my students, "How do you feel today?"  The boy in the front seat totally took me by surprise when he said, "I feel dirty!"
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: rdh2209 on April 28, 2011, 02:58:04 pm
I collected written bits on stickey notes last year when I taught at a Hogwon - kids write the craziest things in their manditory English diaries:

http://users.livejournal.com/blayne_/tag/konglish (http://users.livejournal.com/blayne_/tag/konglish)

Recently, at my new school (Elementary/Public), I had a student ask me "Teacher, are you a Canada-human?" :)

LOL!!! These are hilarious!
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: thektulu7 on April 28, 2011, 02:59:13 pm
Actually the guess-the-picture game is fuel for lots of good student-sayings.

Another class reacted to the SINGING picture by giving the following hint: SOJU!

One student CORRECTLY guessed the word 'studying' when another student gave the following clue: "You don't do this."
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: Gerhard on April 28, 2011, 03:10:21 pm
Student: Teacher! I just did a hip shout.

Me: A what?!???

Student: A hip shout (then proceeds to wave his hand around his backside)

amazing!

Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: Rabulah Conundrum on April 28, 2011, 03:30:17 pm
I teach Elementary school. Here are a few memorable ones:

Adorable little fourth-grade girl: 'Teacher, Kim Jong Il is dirty dog baby.'

Me: 'OK, this lesson is called "Get Well Soon". Can you name any "illnesses"?'
Student One: 'Cold.'
Student Two: 'Flu.'
Student Three: 'Stomach-ache.'
Student Four: 'Brain cancer.'

Me: 'Where is your home-room teacher?'
Student: 'He die.'

Me: 'How's the weather?'
Student: 'My name is Tae-Hwan.'

4th grade boy: 'Teacher, C-O-C-K. What mean?'

From a co-teacher, but I thought I'd throw it in: 'Your condition is not good. You should visit the nurse's orifice.'
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: WTEChesser on April 29, 2011, 08:44:41 am
Essay question: Why is it important to study foreign languages?

Student's essay:

m... Is study is we's Korea from. and Korean study is very Great we Korean study and no Japan study and no China study. Yes English.
We only Korean study we don't like languages, ok? Do you like Korean study? we don't want languages. we plese only Korean study WE! don't! like! languages study! We live Korea! Why is it important to study foreign languages? we don't we live No languages. we live Korea, ok? an we only Korea!!!!!!!!!!!!

-The end-

It's very hard... ㅠ ㅠ
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: DevilMogun on April 29, 2011, 08:58:42 am
One of the boys in my middle school started the usual conversation:

Student "Hello teacher, nice to meet you"

Me: "hmm, yes... " (tired of telling them they've MET me many times over the last few years)

Student "How are you doing?"

Me: "Fine thanks (bored sigh) how are you?"

Student: "I'm f@#$ing sh*t actually"

I had to smile, his delivery was perfect after all.

The funniest teaching experience I had though was in Prague, teaching a small group of bankers.  Their English was pretty advanced and in some lessons we played Scrabble.  One of them began placing his letters on the board saying "I know this is a word, I've seen it somewhere but I can't remember where."

"On an adult website perhaps?" I asked him.  I thought I could blush, but he lit up the whole room once he remembered what c**t means. :-[
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: jg11 on April 29, 2011, 09:24:25 am
hahaha, these are awesome!!! Here are a few of mine.

A letter from my student on the final day of middle school winter camp:

To _______

Bye.Time goes very fast, it likes yesterday is opening ceremony but today is closing ceremony. First I met you, you are very kind and good at teach me. I like you very much and actually you are pretty than ______ teacher. haha. I'm very sad to bye bye to you when I do this camp one more time I hope to be your class too. I can't forget you. while I going this camp. I met many peoples and friends up. I want to see you in Canada, haha. I don't want to separate with you. Good bye, and thank you for teaching me.

From: Mark

Slightly creepy, but still made my heart melt...lol.

In another letter:

Good bye and if we see each other, don't turn your face away, please. Instead, say "hello"!


When teaching an Easter lesson last week I had student guess what the picture was. Sometimes I would give them a hint such as starts with the letter B. After putting up a picture of an Easter bonnet and having no guesses I tell them, "Starts with the letter B", student exclaims, "Teachaa, Easter Bondage!!" Uhhh..wondering where he learned that word!
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: Pin on April 29, 2011, 10:29:45 am
Essay question: Why is it important to study foreign languages?

Student's essay:

m... Is study is we's Korea from. and Korean study is very Great we Korean study and no Japan study and no China study. Yes English.
We only Korean study we don't like languages, ok? Do you like Korean study? we don't want languages. we plese only Korean study WE! don't! like! languages study! We live Korea! Why is it important to study foreign languages? we don't we live No languages. we live Korea, ok? an we only Korea!!!!!!!!!!!!

-The end-

It's very hard... ㅠ ㅠ

Oh my goodness.

This is one frustrated student.  :C
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: longname on April 29, 2011, 10:37:35 am
I was giving my after school third graders a pop quiz.  I wanted to make sure they know the alphabet.  Question 1:  Please write the letter P, but not a little p but a big P. 

I got a couple of Bb's but my favorite answer......"big pig"!  I was laughing so hard they though I went nuts.

They are so cute!
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: laurenbettyd on April 29, 2011, 10:44:37 am
Teaching about illnesses, I asked a class to make sentences, using 'I'm sick. I have...' All the usual ones came up - 'I have a stomachache/headache/flu' etc. But one boy said 'I'm sick. I have cancer'. Diohrrea came up too actually.

A while ago a 6th-grade girl flipped off one of the boys in her class. He came over and started shouting frantically at me, 'Teacher! She me f*ck! F*ck me! She f*ck me! She me f*ck! F*ck! F*ck!' He wouldn't stop!  :o I would have told him it's a bad word and he shouldn't say it, but I couldn't stop laughing!
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: laurenbettyd on April 29, 2011, 11:03:59 am
I nearly forgot! At my winter camp we used a clip from Beauty and the Beast. The students then had to answer questions and guess what happened in the rest of the story. Here are some of the answers, hilarious.

Q: Why is Beauty with the Beast?
A: Mind control.

Q: How did the prince become a beast?
A: Beast disease.

Q: What happens after the song?
A1: The mind control ends and she runs away.
A2: He is cured, but Beauty gets Beast disease.

Q: Why can the teapot talk/sing?
A 1: Talking disease.
A2: [my favourite] Teacup is a robot.

 :laugh:

Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: merle on April 29, 2011, 11:10:12 am
Student who really needs to go to the bathroom but can't quite remember how to ask:

Teacher!  I am a toilet!
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: Ochodnid on April 29, 2011, 11:13:56 am
Student: TEACHER! GIVE ME A SON! GIVE ME A SON!
Me: Uh. . .do you know what that means?
Student: You marry me?
Me: Uh. . .no. . .it's more like. . .sleep with me. . .
Student: OMG! DON'T give me a son!
Student 2: Teacher. . .GIVE ME A SON!
Me: Dear God. . .
Co-Teacher: They are so cute.
Me: You are all insane.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: travelinpantsgirl on April 29, 2011, 11:28:56 am
T: Student's what is this part of your body called? (pointing to my wrist)
S: ARM NECK TEECHA!!!

T: Student's what is this part of your body called? (pointing to my Ankle)
S:FOOT NECK TEECHA!!!!

One that blew away recently~  :o

Chan Ho why are you always sleeping in class?
Chan Ho's response: Teecha mother father bed sport play every every nigh!! Father win mother cry (writes the times on the board) 11pm- 3am TEECHA EVERY NIGHT BED SPORTS I NOT SLEEP SO I SLEEP IN CLASS!!!

I don't have to tell you what bed sports are^^
LMAO!! Out of the mouths of babes...priceless!
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: plasticglass3s on April 29, 2011, 11:49:32 am
a couple years ago, i had this one student in my after school class (elementary). the majority of the class was incredibly low level...some couldn't even read the alphabet. so i asked this one student....

Me: How old are you?
Student: *thinks* I'm fine, thank you. And you?!

he had this victorious expression like "i nailed the question, didn't i?". i just shook my head in great disappointment. major heartbreak lol
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: theTazz on April 29, 2011, 12:10:37 pm
I greet the class. "Good morning everybody! How are you all today?"

One girl answers, "I'm not so good," showing she'd been crying. I made a sympathetic face. "Oh, you were crying? You're sad today? I'm sorry."

Another student interjects: "Teacha, she crazy. She, in the head, not good. Sick."

I laughed.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: andyman73 on April 29, 2011, 12:59:29 pm
From the hagwon;

"Teacher! That very not good!" (Very common - I had a doctor say some symptom I had after an injury was "very not good." )

Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: mikau on April 29, 2011, 01:19:26 pm
I nearly forgot! At my winter camp we used a clip from Beauty and the Beast. The students then had to answer questions and guess what happened in the rest of the story. Here are some of the answers, hilarious.

Q: Why is Beauty with the Beast?
A: Mind control.

Q: How did the prince become a beast?
A: Beast disease.

Q: What happens after the song?
A1: The mind control ends and she runs away.
A2: He is cured, but Beauty gets Beast disease.

Q: Why can the teapot talk/sing?
A 1: Talking disease.
A2: [my favourite] Teacup is a robot.

 :laugh:

This is GOOD.

Why hasn't anyone made a website with these stories yet!?
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: jryanaustin on April 29, 2011, 01:19:54 pm
At the end of a 5th grade student essay about his best friend, he summed up with:

Finished.

All over.

I rest my case.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: teacherjenni on April 29, 2011, 01:22:04 pm
First:  I had my 6th grade Club Activity class write pen pal letters to my friend's students in the States. Here is one:

Dear Michael,
Hello Michael. Do you know my name? I don't know my name. This is my big mistake. I forget my name. Sorry. But I know my nickname. My nickname is genius. Sorry.
~DongJu Seo
 :laugh:

Second: There was a 35gal fish tank in the English lab that had not been used in over a year when I got there. The principal wanted us to clean it up and use it, so that became my project. I got it up and running and [finally] went out and bought some fish (6 neon tetras, 1 male guppy, 2 female guppies). One of the females was pregnant when I got her from the store. So I put all the fish in, they survived the weekend, then on Monday I told my cleaning students (who were fascinated with the fish) that one was pregnant. The next day, she died. I think it was too much stress. Anyway, the other female got pregnant about a week later. I told the cleaning students that she was pregnant and one boy answered:

"Teacha, today preg-ant. Tomorrow DIE!" LOL - I couldn't stop laughing.

(P.S. I now have two baby guppies!)
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: thektulu7 on April 29, 2011, 01:47:43 pm
I nearly forgot! At my winter camp we used a clip from Beauty and the Beast. The students then had to answer questions and guess what happened in the rest of the story. Here are some of the answers, hilarious.

Q: Why is Beauty with the Beast?
A: Mind control.

Q: How did the prince become a beast?
A: Beast disease.

Q: What happens after the song?
A1: The mind control ends and she runs away.
A2: He is cured, but Beauty gets Beast disease.

Q: Why can the teapot talk/sing?
A 1: Talking disease.
A2: [my favourite] Teacup is a robot.

 :laugh:

This is GOOD.

Why hasn't anyone made a website with these stories yet!?

Nice.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: alexandrateacher on April 29, 2011, 01:50:42 pm
These are great.  Hope mine can make someone's day, as some of yours definitely made my Friday pass a little quicker^^

1.  In the midst of the freezing cold Korean winter, I, running through the bitter cold hallway was so excited to get back to my heat fan by my desk... only to get stopped by one of my 2nd grade (middle school) boys. 

S: Teacher!!!!  I have a present for you!
Me:  Oh what is it?!

Student presents a snow ball, placing it right in my hand.

S:  Teacher.  Today is first snow.  We are together on first snow.  We are soulmates.  Keep my snowball forever.
Me:  Where would you like me to put it?
S:  In the freezer!!!

It immediately went in the sink and he reminds me every class that we are soulmates.


2.  While playing scrabble with my afterschool students:

Student puts down "F * C K" while stating "Sorry, Teacher!!"


3.  Jae Ho, one of my best students (basically fluent in English), has a slight crush on me.  And this was made quite evident on the first day and throughout my time here in Korea.

Me:  What do you want to be when you grow up?
Jae Ho:  Your husband!

Next week-

Jae Ho:  Teacher... you wait 10 years and I will be rich and we can get married.  Just wait 10 years!!!

My boyfriend (stationed in the military here) comes to visit.  Jae Ho obviously doesn't agree with this.

Jae Ho (shouting at the top of his lungs through the hallway):  She's mine!! She's MINE!!!  She is not yours!!  You're not her boyfriend.  I'm her husband!!

Can't hate him because he's using perfect English the whole time!  Not to mention that he behaves in my class and apparently is a "mischievious student" for all the other teachers.


4.  My most recent favorite

S:  (While grabbing his stomach, in obvious pain): Oh, Teacher, BATHROOM.
Me:  Ok.  Go. Go!
S:  IT'S GOING TO BE A BIG ONE. (runs out of the room screaming)
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: pablo112 on April 29, 2011, 01:54:47 pm
I nearly forgot! At my winter camp we used a clip from Beauty and the Beast. The students then had to answer questions and guess what happened in the rest of the story. Here are some of the answers, hilarious.

Q: Why is Beauty with the Beast?
A: Mind control.

Q: How did the prince become a beast?
A: Beast disease.

Q: What happens after the song?
A1: The mind control ends and she runs away.
A2: He is cured, but Beauty gets Beast disease.

Q: Why can the teapot talk/sing?
A 1: Talking disease.
A2: [my favourite] Teacup is a robot.

 :laugh:

This is GOOD.

Why hasn't anyone made a website with these stories yet!?

Nice.

well the point of this thing was to get them on the other dudes website
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: shaneteacher on April 29, 2011, 02:07:42 pm
My co-teacher was impressed by the phrase "Can I bug you a second," so I was going over that with the class. The kids were laughing at it, quite a bit. I asked them what was so funny. One of the kids shows his middle finger and says, "Teacher, this?"
I was a little confused but then it dawned on me that bug via Korean sounds like pug>>>puck>>>fu*k . So we all had a good laugh and I drew a picture of an insect to explain what was being said with "bug you."

Two lessons later, we are doing a drawing game. I show one student a picture of some cartoon monster. The student describes it to the class, "It has a head like a lion. It has a body like a snake." etc. Well, the next kid comes up and show him a drawing. The monster has a head like an insect. So the student goes right to it, "He! Has-su, a head like a fu*k you!"

My co teacher turned red, the class exploded with laughter, the student really didn't know what was going. It was a good time.Again, I'm drawing a picture of an insect..eventually the bell rang.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: filthyfil on April 29, 2011, 02:32:05 pm
i teach at an elementary school.
one of the 2nd graders who i was watching on the playground (whose english is very good) asked me the following question:

student: teacher, how old are you?
me: in korea, im 31.
student: oh .. my.. god.. thats sooooo old! [EYES GET WIDE AND FACE LOOKS LIKE THIS: :o ]
me: no it's not! back home, i'm only 29.
student: oh wow! you're a grandpa! graaandpaaa!  :P


Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: bfontaine on April 29, 2011, 02:45:10 pm
Me: Describe your best friend.

Student: My best friend is Gwan-Ho. He is mountain pig, he is very large and very delicious.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: Sam Chi! on April 29, 2011, 03:13:50 pm
During a ten minute break at my Summer camp last year:

Student 1: "Teacher!!! UNDRESS?!"
Me: "What?"  Undress??  This means, clothes NO!" (I mime undressing and shake my head)
Student: "What teacher?  No, undress!!"
Me: "Undress??" are you sure?"
Student 1: "Yes, yes teacher, undress, undress, undress!" (with a smile on his face)
Me: (I drop down to his eye level) "NO!"
Student: "uugh, Teacher!!  umm, umm, nation, national-ality: Undress!"
Me:  (remembering this kid is obsessed with the world cup) "oooooooo, Honduras"
Student 1: "Yes, teacher.  Spelling how!"
Student 2: "BOLIVIA!!!!"
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: simbadger on April 29, 2011, 03:16:57 pm
Student: Gandhi raises war elephants twice a year.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: thdbqnd on April 29, 2011, 03:46:14 pm
Overheard a high school girl say to a male (foreign) coworker who she thought was handsome, "Teacher - my eyes are happy!"

Less cute:
When I asked a middle school student where he would go if he had a time machine, he said to Hiroshima in 1945, to see Japan get nuked.

On the bright side, his mom, who was a university prof, took her students to Japan a few months later and brought him along. When he came back he was wearing a good luck charm (the kind you buy at temples there), so he must not have hated it.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: SBracken on May 02, 2011, 09:35:21 am
during a warm-up where I give the class a letter, and students need to offer words that begin with the letter. A higher-level student raised his hand, and very solemnly said (what sounded like) "shadf-pier".

me: sorry, what?

student 1: shadf-pier *nods*

me: 'shadf-pier'? *trying desperately to think of a real word that sounds like 'shadf-pier'

student 1: yes.

me: uhhh.....

student 2: teacha!! SHADFPIER!! FRIEND OF DIAMOND!!

me: oohhhhh! 'sapphire'!


honestly, I was nearly proud to tears for him for explaining in english, so efficiently what his buddy was going for.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: thatguywho45 on May 02, 2011, 09:46:06 am
Teacher

what

you marry

no

you have girl friend
no

you have baby
no

why
Im Ugly

I agree
"you cheeky bastard"
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: Braveanglo on May 02, 2011, 09:52:47 am
At an all boys high school just last week...

Teacher: Ok, what is marriage?

Student: Teacher! Marriage is man + woman = HEHEHEHEHEHE!!! *while tapping his fingers together and grinning pervertedly*
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: rilakkuma on May 02, 2011, 10:23:00 am
Student: Teacher! Candy! *kneeling on the floor, bouth hands outstretched*

Teacher must give a candy to such a suppliant student. :)
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: gifappeltjie on May 02, 2011, 10:25:44 am
My middle school grade 3 students had to write a 100 word paragraph on racism. Needless to say, some very interesting things came up....My students are pretty low level. These were the funniest...

1. African Americans were born tanned.
2. White people neglect negroes.
3. Black african's ancestars were african. They may come to America with no tools. However, they made their descant. Therefore, black people aren't stupid.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: Swillow on May 02, 2011, 10:26:19 am
Partner A 'Can i help you find anything?'
Partner B 'Yes i'm looking for a new TV. Can i help you find anything?'
Partner A 'Yes, i'm looking for a gay bar'

Partner A 'Do you have a Teddy bear?'
Partner B 'Yes, but it's old'
Partner A 'Do you have a large mansion?'
Partner B 'No, but i want one'
Partner A 'Do you have a brain?'
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: erth0301 on May 02, 2011, 11:11:06 am
I always hear: "shit down" when my students are trying to say "sit down".
I giggle a little inside every time. >.<
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: ramackenzie on May 02, 2011, 12:54:00 pm
Me(showing them a picture of an Australian $5 bill): What country is this money from?
Grade 6 boy: HELLEN KELLER!!!!

Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: wadbumble on May 02, 2011, 01:32:22 pm
My students got into a fight about who poked each other first last week. Except they didn't know poke, so instead it was, "Teacher, she do me!" "No, teacher, she do me first!" "Teacher, she do me every day! I no like!"

It went well with the time I asked what Korean children normally do on Chuseok, and instead of saying bow to grandparents, one girl told me, "Go down to grandmother!"
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: scedlund on May 02, 2011, 01:39:40 pm
I always hear: "shit down" when my students are trying to say "sit down".
I giggle a little inside every time. >.<

The 5th graders were learning "What a big city!" and they would often mispronounce "city" as "shitty." Haha
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: Ley_Druid on May 02, 2011, 01:52:35 pm
I always hear: "shit down" when my students are trying to say "sit down".
I giggle a little inside every time. >.<

The 5th graders were learning "What a big city!" and they would often mispronounce "city" as "shitty." Haha

Imagine them trying to say "City Hall"... I've had them do that before. I thought they were being dirty... "시티 홀"
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: rth1986 on May 02, 2011, 02:34:01 pm
Hmm...I have one 3rd grade student who greets me by saying "Hello cow!"

Mind you, I'm a tall and thin boy with red hair. Don't think I could look further from a cow. Probably the most amusing thing I've ever been called. I have no idea what that kid is on about.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: Tish39 on May 02, 2011, 02:44:03 pm
Lesson:  My father is a pilot
Me:  What does your father do?
S: (with a straight face) My father is a terrorist.
Me: almost died of uncontrollable laughter, thinking the student has a wicked sense of humor.
KT: asks in Korean and then tells me, he wants to say my father is a teller.
Me: :-[ the lesson didn't end quick enough.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: nathanpollard on May 02, 2011, 02:44:45 pm
I was doing signs and showed my class the no parking sign.
One kid shouted loudly "no pissing". Not sure where he learnt that from.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: kalib on May 02, 2011, 03:21:19 pm
I was doing a lesson where students had to compare objects in their every day life. One boy student raised his hand to give his sentence and he said: "Teacher, my "john" is bigger than his "john.:" (pointing to another boy student). I sarcastically said Oh, really! and the whole class said Really teacher, really! It's bigger than his!  :laugh:

I could not really fault him on the sentence!
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: pizza hamburger on May 02, 2011, 05:28:05 pm
Third grade told me they wanted to play Rambo.  I told them I had no clue how to play Rambo, so they grabbed a stick and started going under it, because they really meant Limbo.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: jangng on May 02, 2011, 06:13:48 pm
During camp one year, I had a really bad student who was always up and wondering around the classroom. I told him, "Sit down, young man!" I didn't know that his name was Sang Yong. At the end of the day when he turned in his name tag, I saw that he had crossed out his name and written "Yong Man."

For the rest of camp, he introduced himself with "I am Yong Man."
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: monofinn on May 02, 2011, 06:22:07 pm
Christmas Card

"My nickname is horse. Do you know the reason that I was called? Because my face is longer than others. Anyways, it was glorious I met you....!! Soon X-Mas is coming. So, I'm writing this card."
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: Natz on May 02, 2011, 06:34:45 pm
Really excited :Teacher, teacher, do you like flowers? Yes, I do. Teacher, teacher, the flower dust gives me nose itch! Hehehehe, "flower dust"- pollen. Too cute
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: Kaiser on May 02, 2011, 06:39:33 pm
Student: Teacher, I love you SO much.
Me: Ok, HOW much is SO much.
Student: I love you more than Kimchi, toast, bibimbop, galbi, candy, and chocolate.
Me: That's a lot.
Student: I love you almost as much as T.O.P.
Me: Ok, I love you almost as much as Kwon Yuri.
Student: NO! You have to love ME more.
Me: You love T.O.P. more than me.
Student: That different. He richy.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: dizzl on May 02, 2011, 07:57:44 pm
I was playing Simon Says with my 3rd graders, then my KT said they could order us around as a treat...

Student: Gas please
Me: sorry?
Student: Gas please
quizzical look at my KT as surely I am mishearing right??
KT: He means fart
Me: oh... well.... no... next!
(growing up that was a "bad" word in my house... still gives me the heebies when I hear it...)

Student2: Teacher kiss please
Me: Um... I will kiss myself on the hand...

I love them they are too cute!
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: anichion on May 02, 2011, 08:39:35 pm
Working with middle schoolers one day last year, I was playing a review game with the class.
they had to make a sentence with the "miniature".
A male student (of course) buts out with "I have a miniature condom". I started laughing and said "yes you do."
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: teacherjenni on May 06, 2011, 01:52:05 pm
This just happened in my 5th grade class

Ss: Teacher, what's this? (holding a 3D origami diamond)
Me: It's a diamond.
Ss: No teacher, a diamond is 2D. What is this 3D?
Me: I don't know.
Ss: Why don't you know? You are English Teacher. Didn't you learn this in elementary school?
Me: Maybe, but elementary school was a very long time ago.
[after class]
Me: It's an octahedron.
Ss: Where did you learn this?
Me: Wikipedia.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: Jozigirl on May 06, 2011, 02:06:59 pm
Me: Where's Chae Hyeon? Is he sick?
Student: No, he's dumping (in the restroom)

It was such an unexpected response that I started crying from laughing so much.  When Chae Hyeon returned a few minutes later (I was still laughing), my co-teacher innocently asked him: "Are you finished dumping?" He simply nodded while the entire class started laughing again - I didn't even try to explain the crudeness of the comment.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: mg on May 06, 2011, 02:15:52 pm
Student (English name Brian): Teacher, the desk smells like pizza.
Me: Why don't you lick it.
Brian: Ladies first.

got me.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: wiggum2012 on May 12, 2011, 10:20:58 am
After a lesson on slang where I taught students that sucks means something is bad and dope means something is good.

"I want to change my suck face for dope face" 
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: Merryone on May 12, 2011, 10:58:24 am
T: What do you want to study in English class?
Ss: four (holding up four fingers)
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: makeshiftb0y on May 12, 2011, 01:15:11 pm
After reading these, I realize how funny my students are--compared to some of these on here, in my opinion, ha.


Student A: What do you want to be in the future?
Student B: I want to be a gay bar bartender.
A: What does a gay bar bartender do?
B: Gives men my ass. (sees me) Nevermind.... .... Gives service to men.

A: What do you want to be in the future?
B: I want to be an adult.
A: What does an adult do?
B: An adult drinks soju.


A writing assignment, which was supposed to be describing an activity you can do in some specific sort of weather:

I had girlfriend and propose to her. But she so bad girl that she dumped me. So I became gay. Since then I'm gay. I tell people, please respect gay. Gay is not crazy boy. Even though I like men I am confident.


It is sunny day. People are swimming. Suddenly sharks come and eat all men except us. Now there is only women and us, so our eyes are happy. We have fun all day.


Creating their own super hero:
Super Hero name: Lee Myung Bak
Super power: Super ability to lie and deceive people.


This was from a debate about the pros and cons of technology. This was the closing argument of the group arguing the pros, directing these statements to the opposing group:

We all love watching adult video. Without technology, there would be no adult video. so don't lie. You are for technology, and you love adult video. Thank you.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: hellomykimchi on May 12, 2011, 01:17:27 pm
these Korea kids aren't afraid to tell you that you're fat... but in a slick way...

today, one of my CT, who is in her early 40's, was TOLD by a 4th grader that she was pregnant. (she is not...) the student didn't ASK her... he TOLD her. LMAO!!!!!!!!!!
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: IslandGook on May 12, 2011, 01:42:12 pm
Not quite as extreme as some other ones, but this happened with my class today and gave me a chuckle:

Middle School 2 dialogue (Man and woman, deciding where to eat):

Man: Let's have pizza for lunch.
Woman: I love you, but I can't.  (should have been "I'd love to...")

They just can't stop saying "I love you."
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: hearyimroar on May 12, 2011, 01:45:33 pm
"Wow, you have fat legs!"
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: Kaypea on May 12, 2011, 02:48:17 pm
Me: What's your plan for the future?
Low level 3rd grade MS boy student: Have 11 sons.
Me: Why?
Student: Start baseball team.
Me: You'd better get started soon!

*Not super funny, but I was impressed by his ability to be intentionally funny in English.

Me: Do you do any volunteering?
High level 2nd grade MS boy:  I help stupid children do their homework.
Me:  Oh no!  You must call them "mentally challenged"...
Student:  No!  These aren't mentally challenged children.  Just stupid children!  Really!

*hilarious




Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: Gunpo_Erin on May 12, 2011, 02:56:16 pm
This happened to me today:
A student sees my iPhone and says
"Teacher. iPhone is bad. Very very bad"
I ask "Why is iPhone bad?"
Students says(like I am some kind of blundering idiot) "Read the news!" and then walks off like I've pained him for asking why.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: cwoo on May 12, 2011, 02:58:25 pm
One of my middle school students wrote the following as a letter to send to our exchange school in England:

Hello
Goodbye
Good night
Do you eat breakfast?
Do you eat lunch?
Do you eat dinner?
That's all
BYE

Considering his normal level of English and participation in class, I was pleased he'd managed to write such a cohesive letter. It was only when I was ready to post all the work and turned over the letter that I discovered an 'extra' message from the boy:

Goodbye, your home town will be DESTROYED
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: AnthonyTeacher on May 12, 2011, 03:02:31 pm
This thread is going well and I have used a few of the best on my site, which is now attracting more teachers from around the world...please feel free to check out, rate, or comment on the funny stories @ http://www.stuffmystudentssaid.com.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: Redvers on May 12, 2011, 03:06:07 pm

Posts: 274

   

Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #158 on: Today at 03:56:16 pm »
Quote
This happened to me today:
A student sees my iPhone and says
"Teacher. iPhone is bad. Very very bad"
I ask "Why is iPhone bad?"
Students says(like I am some kind of blundering idiot) "Read the news!" and then walks off like I've pained him for asking why.

Samsung and Apple are engaged in a legal battle over copying each others technology and there are also class actions suits against apple and others because of apple's and others recorded tracking features. 
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: joeg on May 12, 2011, 03:25:41 pm
"What you want a piece of meat boy?"

Written on a desk in my class room. 
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: konayuki on May 12, 2011, 04:00:36 pm
This was back in March when I did my first lesson. I can't forget it!

I was going through the rules and a continued on saying "Listen!" then posed the question "Who do you listen to in class?"

One of my boys on Table 3 shouted out quite enthusiastically: "I LIKE LISTEN TO BEYONCE!!!!!"

I was dying of laughter because he had the straightest face but loudest voice and was pretty sincere about it. It was great.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: isitadream on May 12, 2011, 04:27:22 pm
when talking about another student's pink eye: "Eye error"

when I started walking to her: "No! Don't talk to me!"

when I was passing out worksheets: "Hurry the **** up!"
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: asah on May 12, 2011, 05:39:07 pm
I was teaching my 6th graders about currency. In one activity I had them draw anything they wanted to sell as an item for our mock garage sale. 2 students drew Kim Jong-Il with his genitals hanging out, then started waving their drawings in the air shouting, "Kim Jong-Il for 2 cents!!"
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: happycamel on May 12, 2011, 06:47:45 pm
I was told one day "Teacher, you are kaka!".

I just laughed it off, knowing he meant it as a compliment (he thinks I resemble the Brazilian midfielder, Ricardo Izecson dos Santos Leite, known as Kaká).
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: maccer on May 12, 2011, 08:38:53 pm
When reading a nespaper article about Knut the polar bear with an elementary class, the sweetest little girl in the class, mixed up the n and u in the name. i've never heard such filthy language from a child haha!
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: dukbokki on May 12, 2011, 08:57:21 pm
Not really anything my student said... more like what he did.

Last summer when it was really hot and humid (when isn't it), he goes to me... "teacher HOT! take clothes?" (teacher, I'm hot, can i please take me clothes off?" me- "No!"

few minutes later, once i've forgotten the conversation, i'm going around the class checking their work. What do I see???? This kid, took his PANTS OFF! And was sleeping peacefully.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: heyitslep on May 12, 2011, 09:40:21 pm
"My finger is sick."

Was she sick? No. Was her finger injured in any noticeable form? No.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: Ikki on May 13, 2011, 02:08:02 pm
2nd Grade class at an all Boys High School

Talking about food!!

Me: What food don't you like and why?
Students: I don't like crap because it smells bad.
Me in shock:  ....umm crap?
Students: yes crap like from the sea, teacher not know crap?
Me: oh crab...B

The student in question is one of the more cheeky students, so really wasn't sure if he was being serious or had honestly made a mistake!! Was so hard not to fall on the floor laughing!!
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: Candyfloss on May 13, 2011, 02:12:01 pm
Second grade lesson: Giving Advice
Problem: I failed my midterm exams
Advice: Quit studying and become a taxi driver.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: aintheROK on May 13, 2011, 02:16:12 pm
I guess I will add mine too!

The topic was about sports and I was asking the kids (elementary age) what their favorite sport was and one kid shouted out "french pecking!!"  I almost died from laughing on the inside when he said it :)  I think he may be on to something with this new "sport" idea!
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: RC on May 13, 2011, 02:47:36 pm
Me asking some of my Grade 5's their favourite things, and why..
M: Whats your favourite movie? (to student 1)
S1: Shrek.
M: Why?
S1: Because its funny.
M: Good, ok.. Now, whats your favourite sport? (to the next student)
S2: Soccer.
M: Why?
S2: Because its funny.
M: Um, ok.. And you (to the next student), whats your favourite season?
S3: Spring.
M: Ok, why?
S3: Because its funny.
M: ...
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: jmf83 on May 13, 2011, 03:00:53 pm
Right after class ends, a 5th grader comes up to me...

Girl: Teacha, teacha.. I am so sad.
Me: Oh? Why, what's wrong?
Girl: So sad. So so so sad.
Me: Ok, I know you're sad, but why are you sad?
Girl: You know the boy who sits here? (points to seat)
Me: Yes.
Girl: I like him. And he likes me.
Me: Ok... So what's wrong?
Girl: You know girl who sits next to me? Well, she took him from me.
Me: ....... o.O
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: Ollie84 on May 13, 2011, 03:06:17 pm
Student: Teacher, how do I join the FBI?
Me: I don't know, I'm Scottish. (Wondering if he'd be listening to my accent and lessons about my home country).
Me: And you are Korean!
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: pez on May 13, 2011, 03:21:15 pm
Today I couldn't speak loudly. I wrote on the board.
"I lost my voice."
A student walks in and says... "REALLY??? Where??"

I thought it was cute...
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: mamaujeni on May 13, 2011, 03:25:10 pm
Me to kid: Do you know my husband? *points to picture of Rain*
Kid to me: Rain? Rain! Rain! Raaaaain!
All kids: Rain! Raaaaain! Korea music!
Me to kid: *feigning surprise* Oh? You've heard of him? I didn't think you would know him. My husband is very shy. Is he famous?
Kid to me: Yes! Very very famous and old! Old! Like Teacher!
(other children nod sagely in assent)

I'm 26.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: awwwyeah on May 13, 2011, 03:57:00 pm
Quote from a Teachers Day note for me:

"Thank you for teaching us. You teach us so well and you are so fun. I do wish you will be like that for the whole year."

Sorry, kid.  It's all downhill from here.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: firebreaker on May 13, 2011, 11:39:24 pm
kid- Teacher, Where are you from?
me- I'm from America.
kid - America?(surprised look on this angel's face) Teacher, you can't be from America. You're not fat!

Good thing there were only 5 mins left in class because I absolutely lost it. I'm pretty sure I laughed for 10mins straight after that one.
 ;D
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: madison79 on May 14, 2011, 02:07:55 am
I got a noted from a student saying "Teacher i'm sorry I'm so noisy but you make English fun".  I no like English but you make me want to study more. 

I almost cried like a little boy. Almost.   :P 
After my ass chewing from a Co teacher it made my day. 
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: WorkingTitle3484 on May 14, 2011, 07:21:29 am
Walking into my last class on Friday, I go into my initial shpeel of "How's it going?" not really expecting much aside from "[I want to] go home/sleep"

Out of nowhere, one of my boys stands up and says, "Teacher!!  You're the most important part of my life".

This made me laugh hysterically because of the ambiguity (Am I THAT awesome or is his life tediously boring?) and the emotional desperation akin to "Teacher!! Help me!!".
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: Jozigirl on May 14, 2011, 02:53:41 pm
Student: Where are you from?
Me: South Africa.
Student looks at me blankly.
Me: Err...Namagong?
Student: Are you sure?
Me: Yes
Student: But...your skin...white and you speak British.  You must be British.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: Ochodnid on May 14, 2011, 03:01:06 pm
Student: Teacher, who love more. . .SNSD or Secret?
Me: SNSD. There are more things to look at.
Student: Who love more. . .Yuna or Yuri?
Me: Yuri.
Student: Who love more. . .Jieun or Hyosung?
Me: Hard one. ..Jieun.
Student: Who love more CL or G-Na?
Me: G-Na.
Student: GOT YOU!
Me: Huh?
Student: You love me! *starts singing and dancing* My name is JI-NA. My name is JI-NA!
Me: G-Na. *Writes G-Na on the board*
Student: No! Teacher too late. You love me and my name is JI-NA!
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: firebreaker on May 14, 2011, 11:30:38 pm
Student: Where are you from?
Me: South Africa.
Student looks at me blankly.
Me: Err...Namagong?
Student: Are you sure?
Me: Yes
Student: But...your skin...white and you speak British.  You must be British.

HAHA.. I'm sure you know this already, but to those that don't.. Koreans don't know anything about South Africa. to them.. Africa is Africa.  Their little heads would probably explode if you told them that Canada and USA are in North America.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: deyeana on May 15, 2011, 02:44:19 am
students: "teacher!teacher!sign!sign!"

(10 little girls all shoving post it notes in my face. Jumping over each other, each holding a post it note)

Me: "ok...hold on! hold on!"

students: "me turn! me turn!"
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: Jozigirl on May 15, 2011, 08:59:08 am
Student: Where are you from?
Me: South Africa.
Student looks at me blankly.
Me: Err...Namagong?
Student: Are you sure?
Me: Yes
Student: But...your skin...white and you speak British.  You must be British.

HAHA.. I'm sure you know this already, but to those that don't.. Koreans don't know anything about South Africa. to them.. Africa is Africa.  Their little heads would probably explode if you told them that Canada and USA are in North America.

In my experience, most people from countries outside of the African continent know nothing about SA beyond apartheid, Nelson Mandela (who is no longer our president for those of you who think that he is) and the 2010 World Cup.  I've met other NETs who've asked where in Africa I'm from when I say SA, told me that it's impossible for me to be South African because I'm white  and, my favourite, those who've actually corrected me and told that I meant to say I'm from South America  :o
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: sisaltwostep on May 15, 2011, 01:04:05 pm
Context: I'm teaching a lesson on acronyms and abbreviations and asking my students what acronyms they know and what they mean.

Student: NASA!
Me: And what does it stand for?
Student: North America Space... America.

Also "FIFA" stands for "Football International Fighting America".
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: cragesmure on May 15, 2011, 04:19:52 pm
In a gap fill exercise:
I usually take the bus to work, but I was late today, so I __________.
Answer: killed myself.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: sojusoldier on May 16, 2011, 12:16:24 am
In a class discussion regarding why people move to America, one student raised her hand and confidently stated that "in America, all people have cute clothes and wonderful jeans". When I asked her another reason she thought people might move to America, she replied "Alexander Graham Bell".  :laugh:

Looks like it might be time for a history lesson.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: kimchi_lover545 on May 16, 2011, 08:02:55 am
If I have one day of growth on my face, one of my students will always make a point to 1) touch my face and 2)tell me that I am a "very very dirty teacher".
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: elle* on May 16, 2011, 03:23:02 pm
Student says to me:

"Teacher how do you get your skin so white?"
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: Martinellt on May 16, 2011, 03:26:18 pm
"Mr. Tom, you are very handsome. I want to be your face."
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: DMZ on May 16, 2011, 03:31:15 pm
*Whilst playing shipwrecked game where students must choose which people get a spot on the lifeboat to go to the desert ilsand*

Student: Young woman?
Teacher: Yes. The lawyer is 28 years old.
Student. 28 ok. I only need one woman!
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: Martinellt on May 17, 2011, 07:58:55 am
Teacher: Which flavor of ice cream is better, chocolate or vanilla?
Student: Teacher! Yellow ice cream f***ing you!
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: taeyang on May 17, 2011, 08:04:18 am
"teacher, my english name is 'marine'."

"what?"

"yes. like starcraft."
*proceeds to mine using a machine gun.*

*headpalm*
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: wayoutinkorea on May 17, 2011, 08:08:43 am
During winter English Camp, when the students were playing scavenger hunt and one of the students asked me for a clue by saying:

Teacher, you are so pretty. You are so beautiful. You have Miss Korea gene. Now can you please give us a hint?

When we were learning the "I think..." structure, and I asked them what they think about the summer, one of my students said, "I love beaches because I can see a lot of sexy women and bikinis."

I teach at an all-boy's middle school =).
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: valstewart on May 17, 2011, 08:23:35 am
How about one from a co-teacher?

CT:  Did you hear?  We do not have school tomorrow.
Me: We don't?  Why?
CT:  Tomorrow is erec....errr... eLection day.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: ychilmeran on May 17, 2011, 08:28:22 am
I got the following in a Teacher's Day card... I'm glad they were as confused by the association as I was.
"Teacher, when I think of you I think of a tree but I don't know why."
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: sally sunshine on May 17, 2011, 08:31:37 am
A 4th grade boy replying to his pen pal letter:

Teacher, I sex man!

What?????

I sex man! (while repeatedly pushing the 'talk' button on the electronic dictionary so that it is saying "sex. sex. sex. sex. sex."

Excuse me?

I sex man. (now with a big grin on his face)

Let me see. (I take the dictionary from him thinking that I must be hearing him wrong - I'm not)

But then the penny drops....

Oooooooooohhhhh!!!! Your GENDER IS male!!!! (I start giggling)

No, you should write: "I am a boy."

Another boy realises what just went down - translates it to the class, and then we're all in stitches while this poor kid is  (laughing &) shouting "NO TEACHER!! NOOO!"
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: SBracken on May 17, 2011, 02:18:46 pm
I've been playing taboo with all my classes this week (I guarantee you laughs if you try it). This one team in particular, out of all of the classes, seemed to be having trouble (somehow all the lower level students were sitting on the same half of the classroom that day...), but really they had me crying- from laughter- these boys were shameless to win

'beach'
comes up, and immediately 5 of the boys (co-ed class) jumped out of their seats screaming 'bikini! sexy girl!' and either pantomiming wearing a bikini or dancing the hula. (the guesser got it in about 3 seconds flat)

'dog'
a bunch of kids in the back start barking, hands up to their chins like paws (I was used to this by now), but one boy in the front, stands up and gets the guesser's attention, starts barking, then kicks at an imaginary dog, complete with an accompanying high-pitched yelp. another near-immediate guess and I now wonder what they do after school...

(I really want to teach them 'charades' next...)
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: klntron on May 17, 2011, 02:25:34 pm
6th grader - Teacher! Teacher! What is "Baby, hit me one more time?!?!!?"
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: KarizmaB on May 17, 2011, 02:43:59 pm
Just yesterday:

Student: Teacher, your nose is so long!
Me:  Uh... thank you?
Student: (Korean unknown to me)
CoT:  He thinks you must have had plastic surgery.
Me:  :laugh:

Only in Korea...
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: shea.karssing on May 17, 2011, 03:22:55 pm
[

'beach'
comes up, and immediately 5 of the boys (co-ed class) jumped out of their seats screaming 'bikini! sexy girl!' and either pantomiming wearing a bikini or dancing the hula. (the guesser got it in about 3 seconds flat)


[/quote]

I also had a gem for "beach". The clue they gave: "Son of a ______ "

For "ship": "Relation! Relation!"

For tiger: "Lion friend"

For "Easter", some Konglish flavour: "West-uh friend!"

For "newspaper:: "Ah, my father..he reads this.. poo! poo! poo!" (on the bogs?!)
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: twak24 on May 18, 2011, 03:01:10 pm
Telling me about his unborn cousin: "Small life is breathing in my maternal aunt’s stomach. Baby, I'm waiting for you."
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: SBracken on May 20, 2011, 07:55:52 am
"What do you want to do before you die?"

From a 3rd grade HS class:
"I want to 10 wives. Before I die. Yes teacher. Jessica Alba." (male student)
"I want to kill all world." (male)
"I want to *hand motions like single clap* Eminem- together, me, Eminem. Before I die. Him, me, close!" (female)
"I want to rich-ee. Before I die. That's all." (female)

male student: I want to kill world, bring back. like Jesus.
me: If you die [kill] everyone, then he *points* will have no wives! [is that] Ok?
student: No- Jesus! *points* He wives- ok- come back *raising his hands*, he- ok, they alive. Everyone [else] 'uhh' *hand motions 'other'*- die."
first student: ah, thank you! teacher- he friend.
student: Ok, ok.



3rd grade Middle School boy: "I want to- *wild arm motions* BOOM- Japan. Little boy? Japan- destroy."
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: Ochodnid on May 20, 2011, 08:00:21 am
Me: High five!
Student: Teacher. . .
Me: What?
Student: Skinship *Smiles*

Me: What does Air con and Remote con mean?
Student: Air container and remote conditioner.
Me: No, it's. . .
Student: Air controller, Air contractor, Air constant, Air Con. . .Con. . .contradiction!
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: theTazz on May 20, 2011, 08:08:46 am
A sixth grade boy to me yesterday: "Teacha, you are very handsome."

I'm a girl.  :o
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: Scotty031 on May 20, 2011, 09:35:51 am
CONTEXT: Playing the "Mafia" game. . .
GOALS: Having the students express reasons as to why they would like to kill off one of their peers suspected of being apart of the mafia. . .

TEACHER: So why do you want to kill him before you kill off anyone else in this classroom?
STUDENT: TEACHER!!! I FEEL. . .I. . .FEEL. . .he uh. . .he. . .HE GAY BAR GANGSTER!!!
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: lisselou on May 20, 2011, 09:52:30 am
"Teacher, your body good, your hair color good, your fashion style good. You shexy."
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: hankmcmasters on May 20, 2011, 10:04:55 am
what color is yellow?

he got the question and the answer mixed up
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: mountaingoat on May 20, 2011, 10:17:44 am
While playing a murder mystery game with my grade three class, I had two characters, both men (one of which was the murdered and therefore lying), in the bathroom at the same time. One boy comes up and says "Teachahhhh, they in the bathroom. What are they doing in the bathroom, togezerrrrrrr?? WHAT ARE THEY DOING? TOGEZERRRR!??!"

The same kid then later shouted at another boy "You habe a bery small penis."
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: Jozigirl on May 20, 2011, 10:22:47 am
"Teacher, you look soooo beautiful today.  You must be pregnant!" - at which point my co-teacher smacks him over the head and reprimands him sternly in Korean.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: actualstarfish on May 20, 2011, 10:42:43 am
One of my 5th grade girls once asked me after class, "Teacher, how is your eyesight? Mine is 20/20." It totally caught me off guard not only because of how random it was but also because my school's English level is pretty low overall. 

One of the kids from my between-classes fan club told me once "Teacher, your pen-ees very big." I quickly told him it wasn't polite to say such things but in the back of my mind I couldn't help but think to a particular episode of South Park...
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: bparsons on May 20, 2011, 11:02:59 am
"When I'm study English, I am always hard."

"Teacher, what means 'MILF'?"

"Teacher you loong-like Looney" - apparently I either look crazy or like the Man U player Wayne Rooney. I'd like to think neither. ^^
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: wong812 on May 20, 2011, 11:46:30 am
Grade 6 Lesson 5 May I Help You?

Me: OK. Who can tell me, what is the conversation?
Kid A: May I kill you?
Kid B: Yes. Here's the knife.

Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: daejeondarryn on May 20, 2011, 12:03:34 pm
Yesterday I was teaching about gun culture in America. I showed a picture of James Garfield and said "this president was shot to death. Who is he?"

Student: "beard... gun... Osama Bin Laden." He then acted it out.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: lindsaydp1 on May 20, 2011, 12:51:57 pm
A sixth grade boy to me yesterday: "Teacha, you are very handsome."

I'm a girl.  :o

I get this too, because my hair is pretty short:) When I first arrived at this school, the intro class Q and A also included, "Teacher, hair short why?"

Otherwise, I was teaching a class on dirty jobs the other day, as found on this site, and the kids had to think of jobs for me to do.

Me: Ok, so what dirty job do you have for me?
Student: A Sumo wrestler's ass-cleaner.
Me: Ok.... What must I do for this job?
Student: Clean the sumo wrestler's ass when he takes a shit.

Also:

Me: So what's job do you have for me?
Student (high level 3rd grade HS): A Marine in North Korea.
Me: Ok, sounds good. How much will you pay me?
Student: Nothing, it's voluntary.
Me: Fair enough. Would you do it?
Student, with a very solemn expression on his face: Yes, because it's a case of loyalty. I am Korean! 
Class erupts into applause and cheering. Hoo-Rah!

Then, a few weeks ago, I did a lesson on storytelling, and the kids had to do a word by word story. They'd tell me a word and I'd write it on the board, and then the next group would add on to it, so it became rather amusing. Most classes had the protagonist die within the first sentence, but this class was great:

"The crime murder in the bedroom was a mystery. Many knives were found with blood by the police. A man was murdered by Won Goo (a student in the class) but he disappeared. The cook's dead body was horrible because Won Goo cut the body into four pieces. The police ate the cook's head, and drank the poison to kill himself. It was discovered that Won Goo was the policeman. He killed the cook because he was a psycho and he loved Won Goo's girlfriend."

Totally.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: leabea87 on May 20, 2011, 01:26:27 pm
I show my students a picture of the movie, "The Breakup" with Jennifer Aniston. I told them the problem based on the picture. they had to give me suggestions for the couple. One student said, "In my opinion, she should kick the a**." Another student said, "he should give her money."
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: architype on May 23, 2011, 03:11:51 pm
Today was 6th grade, Lesson 6, Storytime.

Co-teacher: *asking class* When is Gyeonwu supposed to be with Jiknyeo?
Student A: *not paying attention* I'm hungry...
Co-teacher: He's supposed to be with Jiknyeo when he's hungry??
Student B: Yes! Because she has a lot of food!
Student C: Because she IS food.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: pania762011 on May 23, 2011, 03:27:57 pm
Today : Ss - Teacher how old are you?
            Me - I'm 10yrs old..lol
            Ss - How old is Mrs.... (my co-teacher)?
            T - She's 11 yrs old..lol
            Ss - Teacher i'm older then you 2 i'm 12yrs old Wow!
            Other students looking baffled..lol

my 1st day in class. (Ss to my Co Teacher)
            Ss - Teacher i'm going to razer you.
            CT - What?
            Ss - I'm going to razer you ( as he holds a small razor)
            CT - What are you talking about?
            Ss - I'm going to razer you all over like this (as he uses his finger and runs it around
                   my CT).
           (ME - Thinking this Ss is going to cut my CT up what should I do and why does she
            look so calm)?
           * Come to find he meant he was going to use his Lazer pen and lazer her all over...lol


Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: Jozigirl on May 23, 2011, 03:33:51 pm
Using the Dating Etiquette lesson someone posted, my students wrote online dating profiles for assigned photos.  One of my boys wrote: "I tried making girlfriends but found them unsatisfying". Another commented that he wants "a sex woman" which had the entire class in stitches - fortunately it was said by the nicest kid in my class so he took their laughter in his stride and just joked it off (before sliding under his desk in embarrassment).
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: Brirish on May 23, 2011, 03:36:30 pm
Student bounds into classroom and says to female co-teacher: "Hello Teacher!... Giggidy."

I'm sure this 3rd grader has no knowledge of what Family Guy is, but that just made it even more amusing to me.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: Laura T on May 23, 2011, 03:37:41 pm
Grandfather's father is Great Grandfather.
Then, how about great grandfather's father?

S: Excellent Grandfather!
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: pania762011 on May 23, 2011, 03:49:22 pm
Journal writing : Topic what do you want to be when you grow up?
Female student writes : I want to be pretty, I want to be sexy, I want to be beautiful, I am a woman. (My comment - So how are you going to get the money to do all that?).

Another female Student : Teacher I don't need to learn how to read.
 Me : Why?
Student : I will marry a man and he will read to me that's his job.

3 female Students from my past school looking at 2 photo's in a Student book. 1 was a white girl with blonde hair and blue eyes, the other was a bi racial black girl with curly hair and brown eyes.

* I asked What are you giggling at?
                      - 3 girls : The ugly girl over here (showing me the picture of the black girl)
                      - me : Just coz someone looks different it doesn't mean their ugly.
                      - 3 Girls : Teacher we look like this (pointing to the blonde headed blue eye
                        white girl)
                      - Me: You look like what?
                      - girls : We look just like her.
                      - Me : Ummm, No you don't look like her.
      (1 girl almost in tears..lol while the other 2 are not convinced they don't look like her).
                      - Girls : yes we do our mothers said.
                      - Me : reality check time..lol What color is her hair? What color is yours?
                        What color are her eyes? What color are hers? What color is her skin?
                        What color is yours? Is she from Korea?
                       - girls : No.
                       - Me : Does she look Korean?
                       - Girls : No.
                       - Me : What are your parents and grandparents?
                       - Girls : Korean
                       - Me : Then what does that make you?
                        - girls : Korean
                        - Me : Exactly!
                  ( The girls both start crying...lol).
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: notinKS on May 24, 2011, 11:43:37 am
I'm currently checking over all of the speeches for our English speech contest. One of them has obviously been checked with an automatic translation on the computer. In Korean, it makes sense but in English it reads: "Ahem. I said why do ecstasy?"
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: architype on May 24, 2011, 11:59:58 am
Oh God, speaking of English speeches, one of my 5th grade students gave a speech about Kim Yuna. I had high expectations for her, because she's probably the best English speaker in the school, and her pronunciation is near-perfect.

And her entire speech was great, except for the fact that it and the giant poster she had on display at the front of the room referred to Kim Yuna as her "heroin".
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: jeane86 on May 24, 2011, 12:10:16 pm
In a class where we were writing down problems and giving advice:

Student's problem: I have no fingers, what should I do
Other student's advice: Born again!
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: laizamaria on May 24, 2011, 12:26:07 pm
I hear a lot of hilarious things, but always forget them. Today however, I got this one, probably a third time. We were talking about food.

S: Can I have some asscleam?
Me: Icecream.
S: ASSCREAM!   :-\

Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: OneVurfedGwrx on May 24, 2011, 03:12:22 pm
A 5ht grade girl a few days after trying to drag me over to a water fountain area and asking me to help clean, and being refused:
"Teacher, you are a terrible grandfather!  You don't help me clean!"  Also repeated a few times since.

Not sure when I became a grandfather, but not the usual student comment...
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: theTazz on May 30, 2011, 12:38:08 pm
Doing vocab review with my third graders:

Me: "What's this?"

A picture of a calculator comes up.

Boy: "A ... copulator!"

I nearly died.  :laugh:
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: travelinpantsgirl on May 30, 2011, 12:46:32 pm
Oh God, speaking of English speeches, one of my 5th grade students gave a speech about Kim Yuna. I had high expectations for her, because she's probably the best English speaker in the school, and her pronunciation is near-perfect.

And her entire speech was great, except for the fact that it and the giant poster she had on display at the front of the room referred to Kim Yuna as her "heroin".
To be fair, heroine is the female form of hero, so you can see where she gets this from. I am pretty sure we say hero in this instance, whereas if the sentence were "Kim Yu Na is the heroine of this story..."
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: Dr_Donut on May 30, 2011, 12:52:09 pm
Was doing a lesson on adjectives, and showed Justin Beiber's face.

One said said "He is very very wonderful beautiful face."
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: karenology on May 30, 2011, 12:53:14 pm
After his team lost due to a sudden and totally unfair "switch points" slide at the end of a bomb game, one of my students raised his hand politely and asked: "Teacher?  May I use a bad word?"  :laugh:
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: architype on May 30, 2011, 01:14:52 pm
Oh God, speaking of English speeches, one of my 5th grade students gave a speech about Kim Yuna. I had high expectations for her, because she's probably the best English speaker in the school, and her pronunciation is near-perfect.

And her entire speech was great, except for the fact that it and the giant poster she had on display at the front of the room referred to Kim Yuna as her "heroin".
To be fair, heroine is the female form of hero, so you can see where she gets this from. I am pretty sure we say hero in this instance, whereas if the sentence were "Kim Yu Na is the heroine of this story..."

Oh, no, I definitely get where she got that from, and thought it was pretty impressive of her to know the female form of the word, even if it was technically wrong when used in that context. It was just the missing "e" that made all the difference. :laugh:
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: travelinpantsgirl on May 30, 2011, 01:24:42 pm
Oh God, speaking of English speeches, one of my 5th grade students gave a speech about Kim Yuna. I had high expectations for her, because she's probably the best English speaker in the school, and her pronunciation is near-perfect.

And her entire speech was great, except for the fact that it and the giant poster she had on display at the front of the room referred to Kim Yuna as her "heroin".


To be fair, heroine is the female form of hero, so you can see where she gets this from. I am pretty sure we say hero in this instance, whereas if the sentence were "Kim Yu Na is the heroine of this story..."

Oh, no, I definitely get where she got that from, and thought it was pretty impressive of her to know the female form of the word, even if it was technically wrong when used in that context. It was just the missing "e" that made all the difference. :laugh:

It's totally cute though.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: AP on May 30, 2011, 01:29:04 pm
Student - Teacher, I'm ugly.

Teacher - What was that?

Student - I'm ugly.

Teacher - No, you're not ugly.  Don't say that.

(one of his friends whispered "angry" into his ear)

Student - Oh... Teacher, I'm angry.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: phan0704 on May 30, 2011, 01:30:45 pm
haha alot of cute incidents happen in the classroom..i still dont quite understand why some of my students are confused of my background..
so i am a korean-american, but due to contract with my school i cant speak korean to the kids (nor do i want to since i know they will find my far from perfect pronounciation tease-worthy)..

kid 1: Teacher, are you American? Why are you not white?
kid 2: stupid, its because he is chinese.
kid 3: no, we saw teacher's family. they are korean.
kid 2: oh...but why is he chinese?
kid 4: (kinda the smartypants in the class) HEY! its because his family is korean, but he was born in america, so thats why he looks weird..

ouch..
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: kneukels on May 30, 2011, 01:33:10 pm
My Co Teacher noticed an empty chair and asked the 6th graders who was absent.
The boy next to the empty chair jumped and said 'No Teacher! This is Chair Man!' ... Introducing the chair to us.

2 Minutes later the absent boy walked into class. Naturally he simply had to pick up the nickname and from this day forward the whole class will call him Chairman :P
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: krtastic on May 30, 2011, 01:36:44 pm
We were reviewing "Who" questions.

Student 1: Who is this person? (pointing to a rather burly looking man on the flashcard I had handed out)
Student 2: Your Oma (meaning, "your mom")

I seriously about lost it. Took every ounce of self control to not laugh at the poor kid.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: hapigokelli on May 30, 2011, 03:35:25 pm
I asked my class if they could guess my middle name. My first name is Kelly so naturally the first thing they think of is "fornia."

Kelly-fornia.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: marahopey on May 30, 2011, 04:09:57 pm
A first grader, walked past one of my after school classes and began staring in the door with a fairly skeptical expression on his face. He watched me do a few mimes to the students, whilst keeping an unimpressed demeanor he muttered 'drunk' and sauntered off. Quite cutting for an 8 year old!
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: DWAEDGIMORIGUKBAP on May 30, 2011, 04:12:49 pm
Teacha you fat ugly monstah. 

You are ddong.

You country people belly bad and dirty and have cabs in hair.

You are dog baby.

Korean numbah one.

etc...
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: hanndan on June 01, 2011, 09:11:35 pm
Playing a game involving one team looking at something on a sheet of paper and the other team having to guess it (2nd Grade Elementary) I guess Brian was cheating by trying to look at the sheet.

Student "Teacher Brian hacking "

Brian was given a warning by me for "hacking"



Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: arealpanda on June 01, 2011, 09:21:44 pm
Pairs of grade 6's were practicing "giving directions" - where's the post office, etc.
A kid says to his partner, "Go straight, and die."
Gave him a hi-five for that one.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: hiphopopotamus on June 01, 2011, 10:37:34 pm
One of my better-speaking 5th grade girls said:

"Teacher, do you know who Sejong is?"

I say: "Sure. He was a king of Korea."

She replies: "He invented Hangul, the Korean language. Do you know who invented English?"

"No, I don't," I replied.

"You don't? Hmmm...well, I want to kill him. I want to make a time machine and go and kill him."


Cute, I thought!

Maybe I should have said Sejong invented English, just to give her a conflicting nationalism complex!


--BMV
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: ilovewelchs on June 02, 2011, 12:17:17 am
My personal favorite is my students tell me, "Teacher you look delicious!"


The post below made me laugh so hard :laugh: :laugh:

One of my better-speaking 5th grade girls said:

"Teacher, do you know who Sejong is?"

I say: "Sure. He was a king of Korea."

She replies: "He invented Hangul, the Korean language. Do you know who invented English?"

"No, I don't," I replied.

"You don't? Hmmm...well, I want to kill him. I want to make a time machine and go and kill him."


Cute, I thought!

Maybe I should have said Sejong invented English, just to give her a conflicting nationalism complex!


--BMV
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: mojussa on June 02, 2011, 01:33:56 am
We're doing a lesson on palm reading  for middle school students.  I first have the students name their fingers in English.  Whenever it comes to the middle finger, it is labeled as the "F*** finger, f**king finger."  What got me is when one student said its the "finger bang her finger."  I said good and just corrected them saying its the middle finger.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: makeshiftb0y on June 02, 2011, 07:00:56 am
During a lesson yesterday, I included a picture of a sad looking puppy in one of my powerpoint slides, and upon seeing it, a student shouted, "Oh, delicious!"
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: polscilogist on June 02, 2011, 07:32:46 am
During a 20 question style game, students were supposed to get a point for their team by saying "It is a _____."  The answer for this particular question was "moon".  I always let students who haven't talked answer first.  So, one boy who hadn't spoken was encouraged by his team to raise his hand and speak.  The team was trying to tell him the correct answer.  So, almost all of them said, "moon", "moon", "moon", ...

The boy puffed out his chest and with a big smile said, "It is a door!"  (문 or moon being door in Korean).
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: Darkeru on June 02, 2011, 07:34:10 am
During a lesson yesterday, I included a picture of a sad looking puppy in one of my powerpoint slides, and upon seeing it, a student shouted, "Oh, delicious!"

The exact same happened to me yesterday.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: wong812 on June 02, 2011, 07:45:02 am
One of my grade 2 girls. "Hello darling!!!" followed by a massive hug.
 
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: RC on June 02, 2011, 08:08:43 am
S:    Teacher, are you married?
Me:  No no no
S:    Do you have a girlfriend?
Me:  Yes.
S:    Is she married?
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: ArmoredButterfly on June 02, 2011, 10:46:00 am
In my advanced after school class, we were debating whether or not the children of rich people should be allowed to inherit all of their parents money.

Student: Lots of money turns teenagers into b____es (bad word for women) and b______s (bad word for men)!!
Me: Um...you shouldn't say those words..
Student: What? It does! Haven't you seen Gossip Girl?
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: conorsean on June 02, 2011, 11:40:10 am
I was inspecting a small artificial rose sitting on the 3rd grade girl's desk

Me: Who gave you the flower?
Her: My boyfriend.
Me: Your boyfriend?! Who's your boyfriend?
Her: That boy sitting at the front (pointing).
Me (to the boy): Are you her boyfriend?
Him: Yes, teacher. Now give her back her flower.

That was me told...
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: johnkim on June 02, 2011, 11:57:31 am
Uh......
My grade 1s... they don't know ANY English....

I was teaching them the numbers, and I pointed at number 9.

Now there's this one kid who always makes up word when he doesnt know what it is.

He raised his hand and was desperately going "OOHHHH OHHH" and wanted to be picked.

Me: Yes Jonghoon?
JH: Bussy!
Me: HUH??
JH: *****!

I just burst out laughing for 3 mins...
I had tears in my eyes...

I didnt want him to say that word around the school so I told him that it was pronounced..
Nine... not P*ssy
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: monsoon257 on June 02, 2011, 12:07:05 pm
one of my buddies on here just posted something on facebook that I thought would be fun to share with you guys.

"highlight of my day

Student A (male) points at Student B (male) and says:

"Teacher!!! YOU, MY, ******!"


Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: sarahcanavese on June 02, 2011, 12:14:52 pm
When we were doing the washing machine unit in the 6th grade books, I had to do everything I could think of to make it funny. Or at least not as boring as the book makes it out to be.

So, I asked my kids: What do you put in your washing machine?

I name all my kids in class, because there are so many, and I can't pronounce Korean names to save my life!

So, Long Haired Boy (his hair is literally longer than mine) goes: My girlfriend!
Cocky Boy goes: AHAHAHAHA!
Sarah-Teacher: OH NO! That is NOT good!
Cocky Boy goes: It's ok Sarah-Teacher, his girlfriend a DOLL!
At this point I am trying not to laugh.
Smart Boy goes: It sad...
Then they all shake their heads.

Not sure if they practiced this, but it made my day!
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: CA-SK on June 02, 2011, 12:16:43 pm
Me to the class (during a game): "Ok, quiet everyone! Remember, I choose people who raise their hands and ARE QUIET!"
 
They quiet down.

Random boy student who just couldn't take it anymore: "ME! TEACHUH!!!!! I am being SO quiet!!!!"
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: Jozigirl on June 03, 2011, 10:17:24 am
My students had to describe their favourite gadgets for their peers to guess. One of my favourite (though less proficient) students had a go:

Girl: He makes me hot and it's big.
Class: Kim Sangwon (her boyfriend who, thankfully, is in a different class because he would've had an inappropriate comment to follow that)

That's when I remember that I teach 18 year olds...
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: johnhs6465 on June 03, 2011, 10:27:18 am
student1: teacher..handsome. very handsome
student2: he kidding he kidding
student1: yes
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: elle* on June 03, 2011, 01:55:00 pm
Me: What colour is it? (Light green)
Student: SKY GREEN
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: travelinpantsgirl on June 03, 2011, 02:24:45 pm
Often times over the past 10 mos I have been thinking my kids, esp the 3rd graders look like they dying to express themselves to me but just don't have the vocabulary. This term my CT and I took a different approach with the 3rd graders and it's made a world of difference. 1st they understand me better and 2nd they can express themselves better; here's one example of it when I questioned them about their seemingly depressed or sleepy state (basically not very responsive).

Me: Class, are you sleepy or sick?
most students: yes, teacher, sleepy.
Student by herself: Yes, teacher, we're hot, sleepy, and hungry!

Another interaction same class between two partners.
(boy partner is trying to whisper to her what she should said for partner dialog, so his face was really close to hers)
Girl: Move! face! (and then something in Korean)
I love these kids!
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: hapigokelli on June 03, 2011, 02:57:52 pm
This week my students are learning exclamatory phrases beginning with "How" like "How pretty!"

I was pointing at different students and having each one think of a phrase.

Student 1: How nice!
Student 2: How handsome!
Student 3: How ugly!
Student 4: How cool!
Student 5: Oh shit!
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: teacherjenni on June 03, 2011, 03:04:06 pm
Today we were giving candy out with the lesson "Can I have some water." Here's one dialog:

Ss: Can I have some candy?
Me: How many pieces of candy?
Ss: Ummmm...10.
Me: Why? (they had to give one reason per piece of candy. Most students could only think of 2-3 reasons)
Ss: You are beautiful like Miss USA and Park Teacher beautiful like Miss Korea.
My CT: He has a good point, but it's still only two reasons.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: Mlatte on June 07, 2011, 12:03:53 pm
Student to another student: "SHUT UP!"
Me: "That is not a nice thing to say to someone!"
Student to this student then says: "BE QUIET!"  :laugh:
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: Beth_rad on June 07, 2011, 12:43:31 pm
Student; Beth Teacher your name is easy to remember and say because Beth is short for Bathroom isn't it?
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: flasyb on June 07, 2011, 12:48:17 pm
"Teacher eyes colour my dog same same."
"What? My eyes are the same colour as your dog's?"
"Yes yes yes!"
"Great."
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: theTazz on June 07, 2011, 12:58:11 pm
A group of grade 6 boys just ran into my classroom to ask me to explain the word "seek" to them.

"Um, look? Look for?"

Blank stares.

"Uh, find? You know, like hide and seek?"

They all broke out into huge grins.

"Ah, teacha! So smart! High five teacha!"

"Teacha, your brain....Very good job!"

Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: Perals on June 07, 2011, 01:20:22 pm
A group of my 5th Grade boys said to me last Monday,

"Teacher you are giraffe."
Me: "oh because I am tall?"
Them: "No, No!!!!"
They proceeded to draw a giraffe and pointed to the neck.
"Teacher, giraffe same, same."
Me: "Oh because I have a long neck?" (Which I don't by the way...)
Them: "No No!!!!"
Then they pointed to my eyes.......
Me: "Oh I have big eyes like a giraffe?" (by this stage I was completely confused!!!)
Them: "No No!!!"
Then they grabbed their eye lashes and said "Teacher giraffe same same, eyes."

Then....CLICK!!! I had had eyelash extensions put on in the weekend and they thought I looked like a giraffe because of my long eyelashes!!!!!

Frustrating but a great comparison I thought :-)
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: moc-moc-a-moc! on June 07, 2011, 01:51:35 pm
One of my male fifth grade students favoured me with a blast of the chorus of Electrix Six's song, 'Gay Bar'.  You can find the video on youtube, though I wouldn't advise watching it at work.

It was by a pretty long way the least likely thing I ever expected to hear come from one of my students.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: Jyang486 on June 07, 2011, 02:03:33 pm
heard my second graders say "대박" & "헐"
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: omegaprism on June 07, 2011, 02:06:55 pm
I was once asked right in the middle of explaining 'twisted' to some 4th graders when I heard, "Teacher, are you on team Edward of Jacob?"

This was, naturally, out of the blue.  I even checked her desk to make sure she wasn't reading in class.  No Stephanie Meyer (or however she spells her name) to be found.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: shaunabrowne87 on June 07, 2011, 02:09:17 pm
We were studying types of dancing a few weeks ago and so I asked one of my students "what's your favorite type of dancing?" Student replied "pole dancing teacher"! Too funny nearly fell off my chair laughing, he's only 11.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: SBracken on June 07, 2011, 03:28:08 pm
when my high school students pass me in the hall they say 'hi hi hi hi hi teacha'.

that, or very nonchalantly inform me that 'bye bye bye, he die, i kill him. die die die.' and that they are off to murder a friend.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: talklouder on June 07, 2011, 03:35:43 pm
One girl came to me recently and said, "Teacher!  Good news!"  I said, 'Oh, yeah?  What?"  She said, "It's my birthday on June 18th."  Hehehehehe.... good news!  Love it!
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: jisun on June 07, 2011, 03:37:55 pm
1st grade elementary school class: I show a picture of a library.
Me: What's this?
Student: It's a 도서관.
Me: OK, but . . . in English?
Student: It's a "in-English."
-----
6th grade boy trying to decide between "I go home from school at 3" or "I come home from school at 3":
Boy: Which is better?
Me: You choose.
Boy: I choose come, because I love come.
-----
This one was from one of my Korean friends rather than a student, but it's too funny not to include.
Woman: I hate the Jews.  Jews are boring.  I like bitches.  It's fun to lie on a bitch.
Me (after faking a coughing fit to hide my laughter): Uh, the pronunciations you want here are "zoo" and "beach."
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: Amerz100 on June 08, 2011, 11:11:45 am
One of the first grade students who I used to teach last semester says to me "come on baby".
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: gavinsinclair on June 08, 2011, 11:13:16 am
Me: Good morning class, how was your long weekend?
S1: My neighbour... die.
Me: Oh no, I'm sorry to hear that. That's terrible.
S2: Diving!
...Me: Ohhh... He went diving? Whereabouts?
S1: From the 13th floor... Wahhhhh.. Head.... break.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: taingray on June 08, 2011, 11:49:55 am
"Oh yeah man!  What's up, yo?!  Yeah G!"  [waves arms about in what I think was supposed to be gangster fashion?!]

"Oh, sexshi lighting!"  [after I turned on the lights at the front of the room]

"Oh, sexshi bideo!" [after I tell students we will watch a short video clip]

"Oh my God!" [pause] "Oh my mother!  Oh my father, oh my brother. oh my sister, oh my grandfather, oh my uncle... (etc. with various other family members)" [said every time after anyone says "Oh my God!"  Continues for any amount of time]

The above was all one student, haha.  She's very outgoing  :P

From another student: "Teacher!  Hwa jang sil!  Brown!  Not yellow, brown!"    :laugh:

Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: shmoogrin on June 08, 2011, 01:22:11 pm
A friend who teaches at a hogwan told me that she had been teaching names for jobs, including astronaut and acupuncture doctor.  One student mixed up that two and loudly proclaimed that he wanted to be an ass-puncture.  I don't think that is a job. 
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: Gunpo_Erin on June 08, 2011, 01:33:00 pm
Today in one of my 6th grade elementary classes, a boy was fidgeting and dancing around near my desk before the last bell rang.
"Hi. how are you?" I asked.
"I'm good. Berry Berry Good. Teacha I hafta....." and this point the student forgets the word for pee or bathroom.  He looks around frantically for some help, his friends won't help him.  He then gives up, grabs himself(yes grabbed his groin) and then pretends he is putting out a fire- using noises and all!
"Yes you may go to the bathroom!" I respond and the kid runs out of class like a bat out of h**l. 

I of course cracked up because the kid knew the English but had to pee so bad he couldn't think! 

When he came back to class a couple minutes later, he did ask me properly if he could go to the bathroom,
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: tunes522 on June 08, 2011, 01:57:10 pm
pretty funny...a couple of years back, i had a student interrupt my class to tell me:

"Teacher, five grade...you angel. Six grade...you devil!"

made me chuckle...referring to the combination of higher expectation levels for my 6th graders due to them having me for their 5th grade year already..and also the natural need to be a bit more strict with 6th graders due to their new found motivation to do nothing...

also had a 5th grader on the 1st day of school this semester profess her undying love for me in a two page letter that i have taped to my wall above my desk...it's all in Korean...but it's pretty darn funny...especially since i had NEVER had this student before and had no idea who she was...basically the gist of it is she is madly in love with me...thinks about me all of the time...when she sees me her heart skips a beat and she gets nervous...she is incredibly saddened by the fact that we can never be together because of our age gap...but she wanted me to know her true feelings...and she would settle for the consolation prize of me teaching her English...because she wants to speak English fluently so that she can communicate with me everyday...(note: this girl is at about a Level 0 English level)...
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: tywhitney on June 08, 2011, 02:25:23 pm
I played a game with my students where they had to have one person use English to describe one of eight food cards without saying the actual word to their fellow small group members who couldn't see the card. The other students were made to guess which of the eight cards the student was describing. When having to give a clue to other students as to what card a 6th grade student was holding, she yelled"bread friend!" Somehow all of the students knew that she meant Milk. Then when she had to describe the bread card she yelled "Milk Friend!" Awesome.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: makeshiftb0y on June 09, 2011, 10:26:04 am
I played a game with my students where they had to have one person use English to describe one of eight food cards without saying the actual word to their fellow small group members who couldn't see the card. The other students were made to guess which of the eight cards the student was describing. When having to give a clue to other students as to what card a 6th grade student was holding, she yelled"bread friend!" Somehow all of the students knew that she meant Milk. Then when she had to describe the bread card she yelled "Milk Friend!" Awesome.

When I play what's been dubbed the "Backs to the Board Game", which is kind of like taboo, they do the same thing. Actually, my low level students tend to do better than my high level students, because they do just this. My high level students try to explain the picture; for example, for a dog, they'd say things like, "this is an animal, some people have them as pets, they bark, etc." My low level students just say things like, "cat friend" for dog, "cat rival" for mouse, "Woody friend" for Buzz Lightyear, etc. Pretty amusing.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: Mlatte on June 09, 2011, 11:18:03 am
I had given a miniature cake to a group of students who had won a game in my class.  Later, two of the girls (there had been two girls and four boys in the group) approached me with sad faces.  I asked them, "What's wrong?".  One of the girls with little English said, "Boys-eat cake.  No share!".  I asked them, "Why?"  and she innocently stated, "Because they are boys!"   :P
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: KKelley on June 09, 2011, 11:24:16 am
During an activity in which my students made up sentences using verbs ending in "ing" to describe photos I showed then a picture of Mr. T shirtless and flexing.  One student said "He's fisting." 
I corrected the student  "He is making a fist."
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: flips on June 10, 2011, 10:16:38 am

student (answering what his favorite dessert is and why): i like watermelon best! i always eat very much after meals. sometimes i eat watermelon instead of meals. it's better than ice cream. but you must be careful. i will have a stomachache or wet the bed at night. i wet my bed at night when i was young, and i often have stomachache after eat watermelon. but i can't stop to eat. i think there is a lot of nicotine in watermelon..
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: Polka Babe on June 10, 2011, 10:40:13 am
grade 2 students are all going through puberty! Lol

And  one  of  them  told  me  the  yesterday  teacher  you  "hot"   to  which  i  replied  yes  it is  very  hot ,  No  Teacher  ,  teacher  is  hot !

I  knew  what  he  meant  but  made  light  of  it  so  I  put  on  the   class  fan  and  made  a  joke  its  hot  , Teacher  Natasha  is  fanning  her hot self !   The other kids laughed at this!  I hope the fan cooled him down! Lol
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: albie2011 on June 10, 2011, 11:48:27 am
T: Do you like rainy weather?

S: Yes, I do.

T: Why do you like rainy weather?

S: Because then all the people who don't have water can get water.

(Teacher shown that even in Grade 5 students have compassion and awareness of the world out there!)
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: S.Lee on June 10, 2011, 12:38:43 pm
during a numbers lesson
T: what comes after 99?
S: one hungry!
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: jisun on June 10, 2011, 05:04:34 pm
During a role play:

KT to student: You are teacher! Act! Act like teacher!
Student: (starts stumbling around with his eyes rolled back as far as they will go into his head) I am drunk!
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: ktkates87 on June 10, 2011, 05:24:23 pm
S: Teacher, you know gay?

(as in, teacher do you know about gay people?)

Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: krystal on June 10, 2011, 06:35:54 pm
Coloring pictures with my 5 year old students:

S1: Look, teacher. I'm touching his bum. (the bear in the picture)
T: Oh, no. Don't touch his bum, it's not nice!
S2: Yes, touching someones bum is sexual harassment.

Don't ask me how or why a 5 year old Korean student knew the term sexual harassment, or what would be an example of it!!

In a food lesson with first grade elementary students:

T: What do people in Korea eat?
Ss: Kimchi
T: What do people in Japan eat?
Ss: Ramyeon..... and sushi.
T: What do people in America eat?
Ss: Hamburgers.
T: What do people in Africa eat?
Ss: ......... (thinking hard) ....... water!
T: Just water, are you sure?
One boy thinks again: No, dirty water!
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: CellarDoor on June 10, 2011, 06:59:16 pm
Student today in the break between classes: "Teacher, give me chocolate!  Give and take, give and take.  You give me chocolate, I give you chupachups!  Yes??"

Umm... what, so she wants to be candy-trading buddies now or something?  It wasn't in class, so she wasn't trying to get a specific reward, and I've never once given candy to students (just co-teachers), so I don't know where she's getting these ideas from that I carry trading chocolate...!  :laugh:
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: lb129 on June 10, 2011, 07:49:45 pm
ok so my best one to date is this


ME: ok class u have to name as many soccer teams in 30 seconds as possible ....NOT KOREAN
SS: so not man united?!?!?!
ME: ummm huh?
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: stinabitten on June 14, 2011, 09:24:51 am
I asked my student what she was doing after school... she looked around confused and then like she understood it after I said it a second time, more slowly.

She smiles and says, "I'M HAPPY TODAY!" Sweetie I taught you what that sentence meant LAST WEEK ;-;
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: jaspar on June 14, 2011, 10:11:04 am
I played a game with my students where they had to have one person use English to describe one of eight food cards without saying the actual word to their fellow small group members who couldn't see the card. The other students were made to guess which of the eight cards the student was describing. When having to give a clue to other students as to what card a 6th grade student was holding, she yelled"bread friend!" Somehow all of the students knew that she meant Milk. Then when she had to describe the bread card she yelled "Milk Friend!" Awesome.

When I play what's been dubbed the "Backs to the Board Game", which is kind of like taboo, they do the same thing. Actually, my low level students tend to do better than my high level students, because they do just this. My high level students try to explain the picture; for example, for a dog, they'd say things like, "this is an animal, some people have them as pets, they bark, etc." My low level students just say things like, "cat friend" for dog, "cat rival" for mouse, "Woody friend" for Buzz Lightyear, etc. Pretty amusing.

My favorite:

One boy approached me at the start of class doing some crazy dance.

"TEECHA, TEECHAAA!" he said urgently. "What?" I inquired. "I have to, uh, uh... DDUNG'S FRIEND!" he said triumphantly as he simultaneously made an obscene gesture. "Okay, quickly."
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: SarafinaTeacher on June 14, 2011, 10:26:47 am
"Teacher, it's 'dung time'."  Crazy students.:)
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: rednumberix on June 14, 2011, 10:29:33 am
My friend is an Elementary School taecher and posted this one up on Facebook.
I thought it was funny so I illustrated it.

"In Korea, garlic bread is spaghetti's friend."

(http://a8.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/249258_594760473317_23604482_31445259_5993125_n.jpg)
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: laizamaria on June 14, 2011, 01:09:03 pm
During a guessing game today, students were 'armed' with laminate sheet and markers and had to guess professions per picture clues. One question showed pictures of microscopes and chemistry sets and a student wrote as his answer -    Rh = A B AB O
In all seriousness. I was more surprised than amused.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: travelinpantsgirl on June 17, 2011, 01:01:42 pm
Wasn't so much funny as heart melting...
3rd grader jumps up (as I am checking homework in the beginning of class) and yells "Amy Teacher!" And I look up and she has made a heart around her head and says, "I love you, Amy teacher!"
OMG! How can I ever hate teaching after that??? I haven't yet but I'm just saying....lol.
I told her with a heart around my head that I love her too, but I said it in Korean...lol.
Teaching has it's rough points no matter where you do it, but kids can really win you over. These comments on here are living proof. I love it!
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: theyowman on June 17, 2011, 01:04:58 pm
"my fighter is a firefather"  :laugh:
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: cmc61 on June 17, 2011, 01:28:37 pm
Teacher: Thomas, what is your favorite animal?
Thomas: Ummm...... my mommy!

Thomas was about 5 years old at the time.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: zkylar on June 17, 2011, 01:38:08 pm
When I wrap up a unit with my second graders, I have them draw, color and write some sentences. We were wrapping up "It Smells Good" and I asked the students to name some food. We had a board full or Korean and Western food. This little girl in the front raises her hand and shouts out "SOJU!" I must have given the weirdest expression because the class burst out laughing. I said no, then a boy a few rows over raised his hand and yelled "MAKGEOLLI!" I replied "What are your parents feeding you for lunch?!"
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: kanpekilove on June 17, 2011, 01:54:39 pm
Me: Let's sing the Finger Family song!
.....
All: Baby finger, baby finger, where are you? Here I am, here I am, how do you do?
1st grade Student: Come on baby! Come on baby! (while beckoning the screen with his index finger)

Where did he get this from??
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: elleutah on June 17, 2011, 01:56:46 pm
1. I walk into class with a long colorful necklace on, and a student yells, "Teacha! I like your bling!"

2. Me: "What fruit do you hate?"
    Stella: "I hate...um...it's like mango...in Thailand...you know, smells like shit!?" (the fruit is durian)
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: travelinpantsgirl on June 17, 2011, 01:59:55 pm
Korean students are different everywhere

How does this comment contribute this particular thread?
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: teacherjenni on June 17, 2011, 02:26:32 pm
While walking past some 4th graders playing a game:

S1: Hi, Jenni-teacher.
S2: Hi, teacher.
S3: Hi, <mumble> Harry.
Me: What? Harry? (I thought he was teasing me).
S3: Um, Ha- He- Hi- <frustration> Mrs....?
Me: Oh, HEN-SLEY. Mrs. Hensley. ㅋㅋㅋ

Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: Gunpo_Erin on June 17, 2011, 02:36:25 pm
Today after last class three Grade 6 students came to clean my classroom.  So when they were done I gaved them each four of these Walnut filled pastries(called Cocohodo).

One of the boys looks at me, with a massive smile on his face and says
"Teacha you shexshi!" and hugged me.

I waited until they were gone to start laughing.  They loved the food. 
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: bscott on June 17, 2011, 02:42:57 pm
A student stood up to say "Where is the church? Go straight to the Church" for vocab practice. Instead, he butchered the pronunciation and said "Where's the cha-gee? Go straight to cha-gee!"

Cha-Gee in Korean is "dick".
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: SBracken on June 17, 2011, 03:15:30 pm
talking about appearances and characteristics using Naruto characters, and the students are arguing about whether Sasuke has black hair or blue hair. One of the boys was particularly adamant that he has blue hair, and I decided to goad him a bit, going back and forth:
S: blue!
T: black!
S: BLUE!
T: black!
S: BLUE TEACHA BLUE BLUE BLUE BLUE
T: black!
S: MY MOTHER!
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: Darkeru on June 21, 2011, 09:34:53 am
During a speaking interview:

"I like balls".

Immature, but had to try not to laugh. Was unexpected since this was from a very advanced student, trying to explain why he likes soccer.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: theTazz on June 21, 2011, 01:44:51 pm
While doing "When is your birthday?" with my grade 6 elementary school kids, one really cute but kinda naughty boy says:

"My birthday is no."

I said: "What, you don't have a birthday?"

"No. I monster!" And he proceeded to growl ferociously and do scary arm movements.

I laughed.

And when I arrived at school this morning one of the cutest second grade boys passed me in the corridor. He snapped one hand up smartly and shouted "HI!" Made my morning ^_^
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: Caradoc on June 21, 2011, 02:06:34 pm
Today I was teaching the names of jobs. Students would look at a cartoon picture and say the english name of the job.
I show a picture of a blond cartoon man, holding a rubber chicken and speaking into a stand up comedy style microphone.
Some students say 'comedian' some say 'singer' then one little boy raises his hand; 'Kelly Clarkson!'
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: kwartas on June 21, 2011, 02:46:12 pm
Doing a class about describing physical appearance:
(after describing beard area), pointing to my mustache area... Student wriggles around and I can see he's thinking really hard how to express himself, then he blurts out: NOSE BEARD teachaaaa!!! Nearly pulled a muscle laughing so much...

Other class using flashcards (game getting really heated, intensely competitive!): the one had a SEAL on it... again ss can't find the correct word and the one blurts out loudly WATER DAWGGGG
teachaa!
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: senel on June 23, 2011, 01:48:57 pm
There's a 3rd grade girl in my MS with a hearing problem so her English is very, very bad. I think she knows about 10 words in English and pronunciation is a serious challenge. For some reason she took an immense liking to me and would talk to me (in Korean) at every opportunity and wrote me a letter, in Korean, that my CT had to translate to explain to me that her hearing is so bad because of a serious illness but from now on she is going to try her best to be better at English. This moved me to tears, I so wish I knew more about special needs students! Anyway, I hoped that with repetition she might pick something up from me. So every time she spoke to me I would say as loudly and clearly as I could "Hi Soo Jong. How are you?". The first 20 times Korean teachers had to translate what I was saying but she eventually caught on. I kept doing it and yesterday she said "Hi teacher. How are you? No more" and then made that "go on, go on" gesture with her hands. When I said "Okay, enough how are you. Say have a nice day." The Korean teacher translated, she nodded and I got a "Teacher I lob-uh you" with her hand on her heart. She makes me want to go back to school so I can learn to help her better.


Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: elle* on June 23, 2011, 03:21:30 pm
Grade 5: I get up at 7 O' Cock everyday.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: ariybird on June 23, 2011, 03:21:39 pm
There's a 3rd grade girl in my MS with a hearing problem so her English is very, very bad.  She makes me want to go back to school so I can learn to help her better.
   Not to hijack this thread- but I suggest you do a search on this site for special needs students. There are discussions about activities you could do with her, like teaching the alphbet in sign language.. Doing this in addtion to speaking will really help. I had a girl like this last year. I only wish I'd thought of doing ASL with her sooner.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: pinkbrit on June 24, 2011, 09:33:19 am
Last week, with 6th grade, we were talking about what people would like to be when they are older.

Me: What would you like to be?
Student: I want to be a shit driver.
Me:....again?
Student: I want to be a shit driver.

I was pretty shocked, although being in Korea it didnt entirely suprise me. I had her come up to the board and write it down for me...and she confirmed that she did indeed want to be a shit driver.
Later it emerged that she actually wanted to be a ship driver....a ships captain.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: Sprite06 on June 24, 2011, 09:43:06 am
5th grade elementary


Student : Teacher, soccer today?  Play soccer?

Me : Not today.  I'm very tired.

Student : Why?

Me : I had seven classes today..



Student : I had nine.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: theTazz on June 24, 2011, 09:50:57 am
I have an American kid in my 4th grade class. Fortunately only until the end of the semester, but I still need to keep him occupied during class! I usually just print off worksheets, comprehensions and wordsearches, but today he said "Another word search?" in a not very impressed tone of voice.

So I gave him a piece of paper and asked him to write down his hobbies and interests on one side and what he wanted to do in in English class on the other.

His response?

"I want to say all the answers."

I waited til the class had left to have a good long laugh. Kid, if you <didn't> know how to say "I can ride a bike," I'd be worried. But thanks anyway :)
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: esti_strydom on June 24, 2011, 12:23:18 pm
1st grade MS
Speaking test Question: If you could be any animal, what would you be and why?

S1: I would be a Panda. Because, panda's eat and sleep. And eat and sleep. It's a good life.
S2: I want to be a deep sea fish. There are so many interesting animals down there. And, then I can meet Spongebob.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: jimmyjamison on June 24, 2011, 12:38:33 pm
Student1: You have a big johnson.
Student2: haha. YOU have a big johnson.
Student1: hahahaha.
Student2: hahahaha.

where do they get this stuff?

I had a kid tell me yesterday: "F--- you. F--- this. F--- it all."

Aside from being extremely pissed, I was quite impressed.

I just wonder where the crap he picked that phrase up!
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: thankQ on June 24, 2011, 12:49:17 pm
"I eat black fest everyday at 8 o'clock" (they actually wrote this, didn't say it but I still laughed really hard)

"I do my mom yesterday" (Should have been I helped my mom yesterday) Kids these days...
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: 501reasons on June 24, 2011, 01:08:56 pm
 Middle School 2nd graders

M: How are you today?
Ss: Nothing special!
(he was sooo proud of his answer!)

Doing a lesson on occupations
M: Who works in a hospital?
Ss: Doctor!
M: What does a doctor do?
Boy Student: NURSE!
M: OK...what else does he do?


Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: CA-SK on June 24, 2011, 01:11:13 pm
Student writing on the board: "I will go in my grandpa this summer."
Supposed to be, "I will go visit my grandpa in Paris in this summer."  ???
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: ktkates87 on June 24, 2011, 01:30:01 pm
While trying to teach the kids the whole "see you later alligator" "in a while crocodile" thing......

Me: See you later alligator!
Student: See you later dragon!

We're doing animals for theme lesson this month. While walking down the hall, i let the kids pretend their an animal (butterfly, bird, elephant, etc)

Me: Okay captain, what animal should we be?
*Our school lunch lady crosses us as we're walking down the hall*
Captain: Let's be an ajumma! 
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: sarahcanavese on June 24, 2011, 02:13:13 pm
I have a pretty advanced 6th grade class. So, during a lesson, I had them make up a script for "May I help you?" or whatever that lesson was. One went like this:

Girl: May I help you?
Boy: How much is this pencil?
Girl: It is $10.
Boy: No, it's too expensive. I want discount.
Girl: OK. $1.
Boy: I'll take it. Here you are.
Girl: Here's your change...
Boy: ONE....TWO...EIGHT.... WHERE'S MY DOLLAR WOMAN!
Girl: GO AWAY!

~~~~~~~
Then today in 5th grade we are learning to describe people.
I show a picture to the class and one student is facing away from the photo. The kiddies have to describe what it is they see.
PICTURE: Rain
Student 1: He is very very handsome!
Student 2: HE IS WEATHER!

Student Guessing: BI BI BI!

Student 2: IN ENGLISHHHEEE!

Student Guessing: RAIN RAIN RAIN!
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: jaspar on June 24, 2011, 02:36:00 pm
Today with my grade 1 students:

Me: What do you do with your grandparents?

Every hand shoots up.

Me: Student 1?
Student 1: Wednesday!!
Me: No. Student 2?
Student 2: Priday?
Me: No.
Student 3: OOO! OOO! MEEEE!
Me: Ok, Student 3?
Student 3: WEDNESDAY!!!

(http://memedepot.com/uploads/0/118_FacePalm_picard.jpg)
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: cepctheworld on June 24, 2011, 03:10:27 pm
Today four of my middle school boys are walking ahead of me in the hall.  One proud boy and his cronies, one on each arm.  The lackey in the back, drops back and says to me...

Student 1: Teacher, he has a big one.
Me: what?
Student 1: He has most big one. 
Me: what? 
Student 1: Penis.
Me: What? (because I am literally thinking he is mispronouncing a different word.)
Student 1: Penis.  You know, teacher?
Me: what?
Students 2: Penis real big.  (and points to his friend)
Me: What are you talking about?  Wait.... what are you saying? (as I start to figure it out) 
Student 1: Penis! (raising his voice) You know?
Student 2: Penis 12 cm, teacher!  Big. 
Student 1: Best in class. 
12 cm student nods his head confidently.

They aren't even the oldest students... they are the youngest. 
I just had to laugh.  This is life in an all boys Middle School in Korea.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: mountaingirl on June 24, 2011, 06:25:08 pm
Me: what will you do this weekend?
Student: Teacher I am going to watch adult movies.

I hope he meant movies with bad language and blood.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: Morticae on June 24, 2011, 07:05:51 pm
Just got this precious gem in. I work at an all boys middle school. The student body president sent this text message to me:

"You are really good teacher and my best friend!!!"

Haha, cute. He'll be asking for candy on Monday I bet.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: rookiewaygook on June 25, 2011, 09:14:59 am
"Teacher he's gain!," Student points to his partner.
"He likes games?"
"No, he IS gain!."
"He gained weight?" (Phrase we learned the week before)
"Awwshhh, men love men!"
"Ooh, GAY!"

The whole class explodes and students start pointing at different students, "You're Gay!! HAHAHA"

"Gay is okay!" I put my thumbs up.
"No, teacher, no!!!" they put their thumbs down.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: SBracken on June 27, 2011, 01:11:57 pm
There's a 3rd grade girl in my MS with a hearing problem so her English is very, very bad.  She makes me want to go back to school so I can learn to help her better.
   Not to hijack this thread- but I suggest you do a search on this site for special needs students. There are discussions about activities you could do with her, like teaching the alphbet in sign language.. Doing this in addtion to speaking will really help. I had a girl like this last year. I only wish I'd thought of doing ASL with her sooner.

ditto not to hijack, just be careful with ASL letters- some of the hand signs may be offensive gestures. I once learned this the hard way in nicaragua... I don't know about Korea though.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: taingray on June 27, 2011, 01:55:08 pm
I don't remember why this conversation with a third grade middle school girl happened:

S: Oh she is dirty, very very... dirty girl! [about another student]
Me: No!  Why?
S: She is... [thinking] She is erotic!  She is very sexual!
Me: Where do you learn these words?   :P
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: hildydoo on June 27, 2011, 02:18:20 pm
3rd gr elementary learning about likes/dislikes:

*picture of chocolate*
Me: Laura Teacher LOVES chocolate!
Fluent kid: That's why she's fat!
Me: T_T

Today during a game:
*team one stole points from team 2*
S stands up: "You DIE?!? *points* You, you, you die!!"

Man I love my kids! <3
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: bencrow on June 27, 2011, 02:42:09 pm
This just happened:

The school bell rings, a couple seconds later I hear singing down the hall: "Hello, hello, good-bye, good-bye"

Three 2nd grade middle school girls open the door of my English Zone/Classroom while singing in unison:

"Hello, hello, good-bye, good-bye" (Using call and response and harmony.)

"Hello, hello 쿠프, good-bye, good-bye 쿠프" (My last name, Konglished)

Me: Wow! That was really great! (It sounded pretty good I thought.)
1 student: Oh, thank you! It is Korean music?

Me: Yes, I think so, I thought it was really good.
1 student: Ohhh, we are very shy....

Then they proceed to play three person rock paper scissors, somehow using it to decide who will say hello and then who will respond with good-bye...

Then they sing the same song as they leave in unison. 
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: suisse on June 27, 2011, 02:42:39 pm

I taught at a kindergarten in Gwangju back in 2009. On the white board, the names of the afternoon after-school elem students are lamenated. I was checking the roll sheet of my kindy class, and down the back of the room, quietly, I could just hear;

"Ni....Niii.....Nig.....Niggg.....*****"

I looked up and spotted the boy who was saying it. Obviously he didn't understand why I frantically asked him what he said. He pointed to the whiteboard. The name "NIGEL" was lamenated.

Bloody "r" and "l" in the this language.

--------------

In the same school, I was killing the last 10 mins of class by getting the students to spell animals on the whiteboard that they learnt about in the previous lessons. One student was given 'goose' to spell. He immediately ran into the 'goo' part, and was then visibly confused. I kept emphasing the 'se' sound to come next. For whatever reason, he wrtoe 'k', spelling 'gook' and promptly sat down, convinced he had done a good job.

------------

I wrote this on another thread before. After the kindy job, I went to a shite hagwon. The kids were great, and one 5th grade girl in particular came out with an sbsolute gem one day. She was far from impressed by my artwork on the board, so she replied with "you are no Picasso, but you're face is one"
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: Kaypea on June 27, 2011, 03:01:06 pm
"Teacher he's gain!," Student points to his partner.
"He likes games?"
"No, he IS gain!."
"He gained weight?" (Phrase we learned the week before)
"Awwshhh, men love men!"
"Ooh, GAY!"

The whole class explodes and students start pointing at different students, "You're Gay!! HAHAHA"

"Gay is okay!" I put my thumbs up.
"No, teacher, no!!!" they put their thumbs down.

Hmm one morning before class, a 2nd year middle school boy kept repeating the phrase, "You are a vampire and you are gay!" to pretty much all of his friends.  I thought it was hilarious because the level of English was pretty high (for my school), but it was such a hilariously... non-native speaker type of phrasing.  "You're a gay vampire" would be more natural sounding.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: manonthemoon on June 27, 2011, 03:25:51 pm
i used to think that songs really helped students to learn English.

One of my 'stranger' boy students has learnt some 'strange' English songs.

Today he walked into class singing
' you spin my head right round, right round' Which is ok. until he followed it up with.
' I wanna take you to a gay bar, I'm gonna take you to a gay bar' (song by electric six)
 
I don't even know how he knows this song! Maybe its a noraebang favorite of his!
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: jrwhite82 on June 27, 2011, 03:26:06 pm
Student:  Teacher, Guess what?

Me:  What?

Student:  You're fat and I'm SLIME!

Me:  Bwa ha ha ha ha!
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: jayjayen on June 27, 2011, 03:30:18 pm
Me: What do you call a person with a white father and black mother? (Referring to Obama)
Student: Hybrid.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: makeshiftb0y on June 28, 2011, 07:31:26 am
After introducing myself to a low-level high school class last semester, I gave them some time ask me questions. Most asked things like my age and such, but one student wanted answers to some other types of questions:

Teacher, in America, if man has long hair, he gay? Teacher, in America, if man wear tight pants, he gay? Teacher, in America, if man has rainbow umbrella, he gay?
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: pinkbrit on June 28, 2011, 01:13:05 pm
Its not so much what one of my students said, its what they did...

I'm sure most of you have noticed to popularity of t-shirts with English slogans on here in Korea - slogans which are either mildly offensive or completely nonsensical. It was my first week of teaching in Korea, and one of my 5th grade students (perhaps 9 years old?) came in the 'blonde slut' written across her t-shirt. Of course she was oblivious to the meaning, and had NO idea why I spent the entire day looking at her and trying not to snigger.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: travelinpantsgirl on June 28, 2011, 01:53:48 pm
Its not so much what one of my students said, its what they did...

I'm sure most of you have noticed to popularity of t-shirts with English slogans on here in Korea - slogans which are either mildly offensive or completely nonsensical. It was my first week of teaching in Korea, and one of my 5th grade students (perhaps 9 years old?) came in the 'blonde slut' written across her t-shirt. Of course she was oblivious to the meaning, and had NO idea why I spent the entire day looking at her and trying not to snigger.

If you like that then you'll like this thread:
http://waygook.org/index.php/topic,5595.0.html
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: mcfearless999 on June 28, 2011, 03:06:54 pm
A while ago at my last hagwon I assigned an essay topic to my advanced elementary students.

One student wrote:
I want to live in a Canada. I want to live in and igloo and eat the fur seal.

All I know is the kid must have been born there to have such an accurate idea of Canadian life.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: senel on June 30, 2011, 01:43:28 pm
I was walking home from school and ran into two of my MS male students.

Me: Hey boys! Why aren't you at home?
Student A: (something in Korean) PC Bang.
Me: Aaaa okay.
Student B: Teacher, you have boyfriend?
Me: What? No, I've only been here for two months.
Student B: Aaaa, okay.
Student A: (dancing around) Susan is my girlfriend, Susan is my girlfriend...

Few weeks later I was on my way to the English office when I greeted two other boys on the stairs. One boy had the other boy by the index finger and was holding on for dear life.
Me: Is his finger your prisoner?
Student A (victim): Teacher, look what he do.
Me: Yes, he's holding your finger prisoner.
Student B (holding the finger): Teacher he want to marry me.
Student A: no, no, no, no!
Student B: Yes, you want to marry me!

Whenever I put an attractive western woman in a ppt, at least one student will point out that: "teacher...girl pic...you...resemble!". The last one had dark hair and light eyes, I have light hair and dark eyes. I'm always so flattered but I don't give candy to liars  :P

Also, my school gives stamps for participation, homework, group work, etc. and the top 20% gets a perfect score so my students literally beg for me to let them answer. They will shout things like "Teacher, I love you", "Teacher, you are soooooo 'bootiful'", "please give me a chance", "me, me, me" and my favorite..."look at my hand, just look at my beautiful hand!"  :laugh:
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: xMooshie on June 30, 2011, 09:38:45 pm
So, here's my crazy cute story <3.

Background info: I was sad on this particular day due to some relationship issues plus pmsing plus lack of sleep, etc. etc. All in all, I hated the world and men especially. I'm like a blank piece of paper ^^;; my emotions shows on my face. Even if I try to hide it, it's people can still detect that somethings up. After concluding my second grade class, one of the pretty-bad-boys-student of mine stayed behind to talk to me. He ended up giving me advice on life.

Taegyu: Saem, are you sad?
Me: Do I look sad?
Taegyu: Yes. Boyfriend?
Me: No, no. Just sick.
Taegyu: [all this in Korean] My friend told me that the things you look in for a girl is niceness, kindness, cooking skills, cleaning skills, beauty, sexy, nice body, etc etc. Saem, you have all these things. Don't be sad.
Me: [stunned and amused] How do you know? You're only seven years old.
Taegyu: I know Teacher. I know. I'm a man too.
Me: Men are bad people.
Taegyu: ALL MEN ARE BAD TEACHER. I'm bad too.
Me: You're bad?
Taegyu: Yes, I broke up with my girlfriend because she got ugly and fat.
Me: Wow, that's really bad! That's not nice.
Taegyu: I'm a bad guy Saem.

I proceeded to laugh my bottom off. :) I was suspicious of this 2nd grader trying to hit on me, but instead he told me something useful. Of course, two minutes later he asked for my cellphone to play games. However, for the 'deep' conversation we had, I felt he was very sincere and mature beyond his years. He already knew something I didn't know until this age. LOL <3
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: jadesk on July 03, 2011, 04:07:44 pm
One of my best was a kiddo thought they spoke Germanses in Germany. I died laughing for a few minutes!
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: tia teacher on July 04, 2011, 11:09:31 am
Student: Teacher, give me candy!
Me: Why should I give you candy?
Student: Because I pretty girl, I will sex you!

Bonus: All-boys middle school.

HAHAAHAHAHA. LOVE IT.  ;D
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: tia teacher on July 04, 2011, 01:23:08 pm
Grade: 6th
Lesson: My father is a pilot.

Teaching a lesson out of the book- the students are supposed to look at the pictures and fill in the blanks.
(picture of a man in a police uniform and a woman with a chef's hat) 
sentence: my father is a ____ and my mother is a ______.

student: what? why?
me: what? look at the picture. what is he?
student: he is a police officer
me: good. what is she?
student: she is a chef
me: okay, write your answers in the blank
student: what? teacher, noooo!
me: why not?
student: this is not my family! he is not my father and she is not my mother!
in my head: wtf x___x

Then......
Fill in the blank with your own answers.
My father is a __________. My mother is a ____________.  I want to be a ________________.
Five students stood out in particular.

Student 1: I want to be an alien.
Student 2: I want to be a mother. (this is a boy)
Student 3: I want to be a killer.
Student 4: I want to be a hamburger.
Student 5: I want to be a  (something in Korean)
Me: a what?
Student 5: a man. he live on street and do nothing all day.
Me: oh, you mean a bum.
Student 5: I want to be a bum.
Me: Good luck to you all   :-X
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: jisun on July 04, 2011, 01:57:53 pm
6th grade: I show the lesson 8 video with Peter (a black boy) and Jinho (an Asian boy).

Me: Who are they?
Student 1: Black and White!
Student 2: No, teacher no!! They are Black and Yellow!!

I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: SBracken on July 05, 2011, 01:25:31 pm
"Arigatou gozaimasu."

*facepalm*
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: tia teacher on July 07, 2011, 09:03:14 am
Student (English name Brian): Teacher, the desk smells like pizza.
Me: Why don't you lick it.
Brian: Ladies first.

got me.

LOVE IT.  ;D
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: makeshiftb0y on July 07, 2011, 11:27:08 am
Did the dating lesson that someone posted on here. We discussed what Lady Gaga would put on her dating profile, and for "ideal partner" one student said this, and nearly every other class said something similar to this:

"Any man. All men. She does not care."


In a different lesson, in which I included a picture of a polar bear on one of the slides:

Me: What kind of animal is this?
Students: Bear.
Me: What kind of bear is it?
...
Student: (shouting) Coca-Cola Bear!!!
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: tia teacher on July 07, 2011, 01:16:19 pm
6th grade: I show the lesson 8 video with Peter (a black boy) and Jinho (an Asian boy).

Me: Who are they?
Student 1: Black and White!
Student 2: No, teacher no!! They are Black and Yellow!!

I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

every time my students see peter they say "obama's son"  :-X
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: lindsaydp1 on July 07, 2011, 02:04:34 pm
Did the dating lesson that someone posted on here. We discussed what Lady Gaga would put on her dating profile, and for "ideal partner" one student said this, and nearly every other class said something similar to this:

"Any man. All men. She does not care."

You should have blown their minds by telling then that she's bi (really, not in a fake, kissing on award shows kind of way), so 'men and women' would have been a better answer:)
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: theTazz on July 08, 2011, 10:48:22 am
In my third grade class I gave them a worksheet to do (wordsearch and five fill-in-the-word questions). They hadn't all finished by the end of class so I asked them to write their names on and hand them in (knowing perfectly well otherwise I'd never see them again). One little boy, who was an absolute demon on Monday, clearly in an attempt to please me, ran to my PC to use the keyboard to try write his name in English. The result?

RKDEHDGUS.

Aw! Haha :)
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: SBracken on July 08, 2011, 12:07:37 pm
In my third grade class I gave them a worksheet to do (wordsearch and five fill-in-the-word questions). They hadn't all finished by the end of class so I asked them to write their names on and hand them in (knowing perfectly well otherwise I'd never see them again). One little boy, who was an absolute demon on Monday, clearly in an attempt to please me, ran to my PC to use the keyboard to try write his name in English. The result?

RKDEHDGUS.

Aw! Haha :)

Well, if you type the same letters in hangul, it would be 강동현. looks like it could be a name to me :)
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: flasyb on July 08, 2011, 12:16:29 pm
In my third grade class I gave them a worksheet to do (wordsearch and five fill-in-the-word questions). They hadn't all finished by the end of class so I asked them to write their names on and hand them in (knowing perfectly well otherwise I'd never see them again). One little boy, who was an absolute demon on Monday, clearly in an attempt to please me, ran to my PC to use the keyboard to try write his name in English. The result?

RKDEHDGUS.

Aw! Haha :)

Well, if you type the same letters in hangul, it would be 강동현. looks like it could be a name to me :)

Good spot!
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: SimonWhite on July 12, 2011, 02:55:38 pm
When asked during an idioms lesson,

"What does, "You're as blind as a bat." mean?"

Student: "You have an eye disability."
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: rjesu007 on July 18, 2011, 09:49:39 pm
As a 24 year old brown male working in an all girl's middle school in Busan, this was just great.

Girl 1 and 2: OMG! You are so handsome!
Me: Um... thanks.
Girl 1: You look like Jacob from Twilight!!
Girl 2: Oh and your voice sounds like Justin Bieber!!
Me: Okay, girls... thanks for the compliments... I think...

Girl 3: Justin! Me wife!
Girl 4: Me girlfriend!
Me: That's interesting... *look of confusion and laughter*
Me: So what do you think of Selena Gomez
Girls 3 and 4: NO! She ugly! UGLY!!!!!
All 4 girls: *giggle* Bye teacher *giggles more*

Me (thinking to self): This is only the 1st day of teaching @_@
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: baeliat on July 19, 2011, 10:38:24 pm
*Student pokes my gut and giggles*
Student: Teacher, how you say this? *continues poking*
Me: Oh this? Abs.
Student: Hmm, you have nice abs.
Me (grinning): Yes, yes I do.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: ajs233 on August 21, 2011, 12:42:35 am
Teacher: I think the school environment is pretty chill!
Student: Yes, in the winter. Principal does not like heater.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: makeshiftb0y on August 31, 2011, 02:10:17 pm
I included a picture of Emma Watson in a PowerPoint. When that slide came up, a student shouted out, "Hey! Why are you taking pictures of my wife?"
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: Leepm on August 31, 2011, 02:29:32 pm
Hi guys,

I just started at an Incheon middle school (coed) and here are a few things that students have said to me so far.  As a side note, today they asked me to do a video broadcast in a class full of girls.  Apparently, all of the students in the school were watching me on their projector screens.  I felt like an American ambassador giving a speech to the Korean people.  So embarrassing!!!     

"Hi!"
"Hello!"
"Sorry, sorry."
"I love you.  You are very handsome."
"Are you single?"
"How old are you?"
"Anyong ha sae yo (bow)."
"Notebook (pointing to my laptop).  Screen very clear."
"Take off your glasses."
"Hi, I'm (Korean name)."
"Bye!"
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: SBracken on August 31, 2011, 02:34:59 pm
doing a plenary where I ask students questions about their partners..

me: ok, next! What is your friend's name?
Girl: Her name is Jua-
2nd girl: NOO!! MY NAME ANNE HATHAWAY!! ANNE HATHAWAY!!!!!!!!


me: alright, what is your friend's name?
boy: His name is Nong-Hyup.


me: What was his favorite part of vacation?
boy: hunting girls
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: supermanisdead on September 01, 2011, 12:52:08 pm
*walking in the halls

Student: 안 녕 하 세 요?
Teacher: Hello. Can greet in English?
Sudent: Yes.
Teacher: Can you please speak in English then?
Student: I'm already fluent in English. I wanted to help you learn some more Korean so you can get along better with any Korean friends you make.
Teacher:...oh...thanks
Student: no problem
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: mcfearless999 on September 01, 2011, 01:35:33 pm
today was a lesson on propositions for first year students. Students would fill in blanks and the other student would draw a picture.
There is a _________ under the bed.
first year girl "stalker"
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: Mlatte on September 02, 2011, 01:05:50 pm
My students were uninterested in playing the game today, so I finally asked one of the students:
   Me: "Why aren't you playing the game?"
   Student: "I'm retired, I'm not a student ::)!"
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: travelinpantsgirl on September 02, 2011, 01:14:06 pm
Maybe only funny to me but...
Grade 3 Lesson 9, period 1 "Help me please"
My CT asks the students (in English) what are some answers to "Can you help me?"
Most students said the obvious, "Yes, I can, or sure, or sure I can"
but one boy student shouts out, "Never, I can never help." And then in Korean (I'm sorry but I couldn't actually find the right hangul spelling), "Shiroh" (I don't want to.) My CT asked him, you never help? No, they all help me...haha.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: maverette4131 on September 03, 2011, 07:53:47 pm
student: teacher, boyfriend?
teacher: uh, yes...
student: oh picture picture!
teacher: um ok
student: woooow so cuute!
teacher: yeah
student: together kiss?
teacher: ( i don't know what is appropriate to say) umm, no
student: waaah ok ok I kiss (pointing at his picture)

haha...i teach at an all girls hs
Title: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: bb on September 28, 2011, 09:54:33 am
Going thru grade 5's chapter 11 with my students. Mom: "Ann, what are you doing?" The response from Ann, who is in the bathroom: "I'm washing my hands." One of my students however, a glasses wearing super quiet little girl says with a perfectly straight face: "I'm taking a ddung." Maybe it's a sign of my immaturity but...can't stop laughing.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: Leear on September 29, 2011, 10:58:52 am
TEacher: What would you do if you where Superman?
Student: Kill Lee Myung Bak
Teacher: Why?
Student: Bad man. NAsty man. (entire class of students agree)
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: Yu_Bumsuk on October 11, 2011, 05:00:31 pm
This was me not my students but two caught one of my 'funny comments to keep myself amused moments'. In my after school class I was asking students questions about family. I know most of these students very well and have taught them for two or three years. I asked one 'how many nephews do you have'? She thought for a moment. Her sister was sitting right across from her. 'Well does she have any children'? I asked. 'Oh, none' she answered. 'Of course, unless your brother's done something we don't know about (he's in HS)' I said more to myself. Two other students immediately burst out laughing, having got it instantly. Moments like that are very, very rare at PS here.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: michellekim on October 12, 2011, 07:11:20 pm

T: How are you?
S: Fine thank you. And you?
T: Please try to use other expressions.
S: Thank you, fine. And you?
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: flasyb on October 12, 2011, 09:09:35 pm
I just spotted 4 of my 3rd graders staggering out of a noraebang.

students: Hello. Good to see you!
flasyb: Woah! Been drinking, boys? [with drinking hand action so they understand]
students: Haha. Woah, no say school! shhh secret.
flasyb: OK boys, bye bye.
students: See you next time.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: CMTC on October 13, 2011, 01:13:54 pm
We were playing a speed game with our 6th graders this week.
One member of the team sits with their back to the TV.  Rest of the team must describe the word on TV without using the word itself  to their team mate and they must guess the answer from what their team mates are saying.

Topic: Family
Word: Grandmother
Teams description for Grandmother: "Mother upgrade"

Next

Word: Mother
Teams description for Mother: "Grandmother downgrade"

Co-teacher and I laughed hysterically.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: ehmaeearwhy on October 14, 2011, 08:57:46 am
we had a writing assignment in class to write a journal entry.  the topic was "why do you study english?"
i walked around the classroom to correct their entries when i came upon one student who pretty much copied the example journal entry that was given to the class.
however, the student also thought it was okay to leave out words here and there...
so the sentence "my dream makes me work hard" turned into "my dream makes me hard."

such an awkward moment...
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: sarahxcore on October 16, 2011, 03:27:04 pm
My grade 4 elementary students had to write little cards about themselves and things they do and don't like. There were some hilarious things in there but my favourite was a boy who wrote:

"I like me.
I like kogi.
I don't like you.
I don't like die."

I cannot disagree with any of these statements tbf.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: Oreobda on October 18, 2011, 11:52:40 pm
Me:  How are you feeling today?  (To the class).
S:    Terrible.
Me:  Why do you feel terrible?
S:    My life is terrible!!

This has been going for weeks. I now call him terrible. He's a good student with a sense of humor. 
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: shushu on October 19, 2011, 09:24:49 am
I was teaching idioms to my middle school students.

I was attempting "driving me up the wall", where I show a literal picture of a car on a wall. Every class as soon as they see it shout "SPIDER-CAR!!".

Another one worth mentioning is "butterflies in my stomach". Some students said back, chest, I had a student (nicknamed Justin Bieber") enthusiaticially shout "butterflies in my breast!!". I shouldn't find it funny, but I did.  ;D
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: SBracken on October 19, 2011, 09:39:34 am
Doing a lesson on habits. This was a new word for them, and immediately the students ask, ‘hobbies?’ ‘No, no’ I say, ‘habits’. So I explain the word and give a bunch of examples, and then to make sure they understand, ask them to give examples. Once I’m sure they understand the concept (especially in contrast to ‘hobbies’), I want to make sure they’ve got the pronunciation down.

“Ok guys, listen! Listen carefully now, ha-bits!”

“HOBBITS!  …teacha! why laughing?!”
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: terivinix on October 19, 2011, 03:01:59 pm
One of my part-time jobs is editing people's writing online. Over the years I've had some pretty amazing typos.

-"i can be a person who kills two births with one stone" (Obviously meant "two birds," but this metaphor works even better.)

-"There are foreshore. We caught small crap. My children played so hard. But there was not many crap." (about a trip to the beach, where you can see carp.)

-"Today was raining. I don't like rain so much.
Because I feel not so good about that day's humidity. My jeans are wet. My bag and pipe is wet, too." (Bag and pipe? I hope this person is a Scotsman.)

-"There is a small garden in their back side."
(That's what you get for not having back yards.)

-"I stole the chickennuggit from my roommate. While I fled from him I choked on chicken."
(This was a translation drill. The original phrase was, of course, "I choked on the chicken nugget.")

-"Ironically, the most expensive things in my car are my Methmatics books, which are not stolen. That thief may not be a budding Mathematician." (This was also a translation drill. I would imagine a methmatics book would be valuable. Oddly, the student didn't have any trouble spelling "mathematician.")

-"I work more than 40 hours a week, take an evening course. Meanwhile, my bone is growing." (I really can't explain this one.)

-"This is the incontinent truth that we don't even feel like thinking about." (Inconvenient truth?)

-"Sometime, some testes will be come to them." (Gotta love the tests/testes error.)

-"Today wasn't a very good day because I have 4 testes today." (I warned you, didn't I?)

-"In a computer game, you will have to manage a group of slacker employees at a reproduction shop." (This was a translation drill. The "reproduction shop" was supposed to be a copy shop, not some sort of sex venue.)

-"I have a dream. Actually serevral dreams.
Those are the followings. My dreams of 2008!! There are 4 goals. First, lose my weight about 7kg to be able to wear mini skirt. Second, enter the graduate shool for English translation. Third, meet my ideal half who make true and pure love with me." (I didn't think she could top the Martin Luther King quote, but that last line made it all worthwhile.)
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: jisun on October 20, 2011, 10:42:35 am
My 5th graders are reviewing the dialogue from the beginning of lesson 11.  As they all recite it amongst themselves, I pick up on one boy who is . . . shall we say . . . enhancing things.

"Ann!  Where the hell are you? / I'm here. / What the f*ck are you doing? / I'm washing my damn hands."

I asked him if he has an older brother who is teaching him this language.  He said, "No, but I watch many English movies."  I told him that he's very good at bad words, but he can't say them in my class any more.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: makeshiftb0y on October 21, 2011, 09:11:24 am
I walk into class and see a student with a cast on his arm, so my female co-teacher and I ask what happened.

Students friends: (Pointing at him and laughing) He ride bike and looking at girl! (and make a falling motion with their hands)
Student: No, no, no!
Me: So, what really happened then?
Student: I just fell.
(Co-teacher walks away)
Student: ......I was looking at girl.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: Jozigirl on October 21, 2011, 08:57:05 pm
My second graders (HS) write weekly journals.  A student wrote an entry about her mid-term exams expressing her disappointment in certain results:

"My Chinese lover gave me two difficult excrements so I couldn't make 100."
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: travelinpantsgirl on October 21, 2011, 10:29:02 pm
This is not original or too funny, but...
From a 3rd grade girl (elementary) who has practiced telling me she loves me, but not much else says(while playing with my hair),
"_____Teacher, you color hair, right?" And then when I told her no, she look completely confused and said in Korean, "I don't why Korean people all have the same color hair." Haha. Her reaction was funny, because when said the Korean part in a kind of mumble grumble...haha. I think what I find more funny about it, is I've been teaching this 3rd grade for their whole school duration, and they were enthusiastic when I met them but not really curious about me, like the previous 3rd grade was, and now 8 mos later they're fascinated.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: rookiewaygook on October 23, 2011, 05:49:05 pm
It was sports day on Friday. Each team had signs they would hold up, but this one was the best.

It should say something along the lines of, "If we win, we'll share our porn with you."
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: aloe on October 25, 2011, 12:21:57 pm
"Would you do me a favor?" class turned into repeated  "Would you do me...." because they have a hard time remembering the word favor.  I felt a little scared teaching them that haha.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: mumu on October 26, 2011, 01:33:16 pm
Teacher: What do you want to get this Christmas?
Student: I want to get Santa.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: theTazz on October 27, 2011, 11:28:55 am
A page in Student 1's book is torn, meaning he can't complete the writing exercise because half the page is missing. I respond with exaggerated shock, "What is this?? Why?"

Student 2: "Is running. Book is running." Makes running motions.

Me: "Really? The <book> was running?"

Student 2: "Yes. Book is crazy."
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: lady.with.a.fan on October 27, 2011, 12:11:33 pm
i teach at a boys high school. they are very advanced and they study allllllllll the time so they're tired and generally sleep during my class. so i joke with them a lot ok this period! we sleep! so one class i tried my oh so funny joke and a kid looks up at me, trying to practice his english in earnest, and says "yes! we sleep together!" ooooooh well... not quite...
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: ArmoredButterfly on October 28, 2011, 08:01:34 am
One of my higher level middle school boys talking to me before class:

"Teacher, I sold my soul."
"You what?"
"I sold my soul."
 "Umm.. ok. . Did you get a lot of money for it?"
"No teacher. Free."
"You gave it for free?"
"Yes."
"To who?"
"My girlfriend."
"Oh, because you love her so much?"
"No teacher. She make me. She very evil."
 
I very quickly went from "Awww how cute" to "Wait..WHAT?"

Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: Kev20 on October 28, 2011, 08:41:45 am
Speaking Test Question: What did you do for your Birthday?
Correct Answer: I ate out with my family.
Actual Student Answer: I ate my family.  :laugh:
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: coolguyjep on October 31, 2011, 01:09:07 pm
These posts have really made my day. Absolutely Comical!
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: makeshiftb0y on October 31, 2011, 02:16:21 pm
Speaking test prompt:  You are making an exercise plan...

Me: Hi. What are you doing?
Student: (looking confused) ...I'm taking a speaking test.


Speaking test prompt:  You are on the internet looking for an e-pal...

Me: Hi. Whare you doing on the internet?
Student: Oh, I'm looking for an e-pal.
Me: Oh, really? Why do you want an e-pal?
Student: I want to make e-pal friends with a girl, and I hope to meet her and make love to her.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: jisun on November 02, 2011, 01:17:41 pm
My 6th grade, lesson 12 worksheet has a Secret Code section.  One of the answers works out to "Will you help me do the dishes?"  As I walked around the room looking at the students' work, I noticed one boy had erased and re-written until the paper wore thin.  His current attempt: "Will you help me do the teacher?"
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: Ytse Jam on November 02, 2011, 02:17:31 pm
The two best ones I got today were...

"Teacher, the day before yesterday is Halloween, so give me candy."

And while teaching a lesson on how to give directions...
Me: "How do you get from the book store to the theater?"
Student: "Take a taxi."
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: Mlatte on November 03, 2011, 03:11:00 pm
I was teaching the form of "I should..." on Powerpoint.  There was a slide that came up with a girl crying and a thought cap on the top of her saying "I don't have any friends, what should I do?"  Immediately, the boy that speaks the best English in my class loudly states, "She should kill herself!"  ???  Never the less, I was completely mortified and did not know what to say next.  :'(
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: lindsaydp1 on November 04, 2011, 02:59:23 pm
Here is my blog post about the speaking tests I did this week. It's a collection of quotes, mostly hilarious!

http://annyongchingu.blogspot.com/2011/11/my-students-butchered-english-to-mince.html
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: Yu_Bumsuk on November 04, 2011, 03:13:52 pm
'Can you send me to toilet'?
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: notinKS on November 04, 2011, 08:14:39 pm
We did a Halloween fill-in-the-blanks bingo for a culture lesson this week. One of the words was moon, and instead of saying the word, I pointed to my co-teacher whose last name is Mun. However, instead of saying moon, one of the kids yelled "FRANKENSTEIN!!!" at the top of his lungs. Luckily, she's an awesome teacher and has a really good sense of humor!
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: betso22 on November 10, 2011, 01:35:35 pm
TEACHER: How are you?
STUDENT: It's sunny!
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: justanotherwaygook on November 10, 2011, 01:44:18 pm
Reviewing sickness and ailments with my 6th graders, they were asked to make sentences with different possible ailments.  Students said, "I have a headache" and "I have a runny nose etc."

One students raises her hand and says, "I have cancer!"   ???
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: Lindsay on November 10, 2011, 02:20:43 pm
My 4th graders have recently taking to dropping the F-bomb a lot. Today one of the really funny and smart ones came up to me, enormous grin on his face, pointed to his classmate and said...

"Teacher!! :D He is ****** me!"

Where do you even start with that?
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: Songwon on November 11, 2011, 11:34:37 am
Me, trying to elicit "That's too bad": "If I say I'm sick, how can you answer?"
Girl: "Go away!"
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: lindsaydp1 on November 14, 2011, 01:19:07 pm
Here are some more quotes from the speaking tests I did over the past 2 weeks. Enjoy:)

http://annyongchingu.blogspot.com/2011/11/my-students-continued-to-make-english.html
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: S.B. on November 21, 2011, 04:56:08 pm
Fast-paced team game, for points and candy. Talking about things that are upsetting (example phrase: "I left my bag on the subway. I'm really upset.")

KID LEAPS UP TO ANSWER FIRST: "My pork cutlet ate my brother! I'm really upset!" *beat* "WAIT NO! I AM WRONG!"

Could. not. stop. laughing.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: bb on November 21, 2011, 11:38:20 pm
A writing test_ correct answer: "Don't take off your shoes."

Student answer" "Don't come in your shoes."

Couldn't stop picturing stern security guard  interupting  fetishist in his socks. 
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: Driver 8 on November 22, 2011, 08:55:15 am
Worksheet Crossword and Questions:

Question: Do  you like the smell of garbage?
Student answer: Why I like the smell of garbage? :laugh:

Same student (The assignment was: You are at a coffee shop. Write three question you will ask a foreigner)  Her response:

Are you a spy?
You ever kill  someone?:laugh: (Actually i can't remember the exact wording.  I'm  pretty sure there were grammar errors, but I love the fact that she's being creative and thinking outside the box).

In playing a game of two truths and a lie,  one of her truths was,

"I  don't like cats because I can't see their eyes." (Maybe it was, "I don't like their eyes")

I love this kid! :)
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: Mlatte on November 22, 2011, 12:05:00 pm
I had my students write anonymous notes to each other.  One student wrote. "She is very kind, but ugly."  ???
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: terivinix on December 07, 2011, 02:45:42 pm
Somewhat related to this topic, but really makes you think. Especially student number 4's answer.

Summary: Korean students talk about their opinion on having a hakwon curfew.
http://www.alienteachers.com/1/post/2011/11/4-students-stories-that-sum-up-so-many-of-the-problems-korea-faces.html
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: flasyb on December 08, 2011, 07:37:53 pm
When walking into a second grade class: "Hello flasyb, baby!"
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: blkfaephoenix on December 13, 2011, 08:29:07 am
When practicing lesson 15 with 6th grade, I was asking the students to finish the sentence "It's time to..." The first answer:

"It's time to kill Bieber."  I couldn't altogether disagree  ::)
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: Andyroo on December 13, 2011, 08:52:52 am
TEACHER: How are you?
STUDENT: It's sunny!

If his name is Sunny then they got you :)
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: Ochodnid on December 13, 2011, 09:55:20 am
Student: Teach, give me candy, please.
Me: Why should I give you candy?
Student: Because I am pretty.
Me: You have to do better than that.
Student: Because I a very pretty. I am prettier than her.
Me: That was rather impressive for you.
Student: I know. I like candy.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: omega on December 19, 2011, 02:18:06 pm
Yesterday I had yet another student say that her mother's hobby is housework.

Really!  :laugh:
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: rabel10 on December 23, 2011, 02:25:18 pm
Student 1: Oh my God, teacher! You have grey hair!
Me: Well yea! It's because I have to teach you!
Student 2: Me too, teacher?
Me: You...not so much.
*Student 1 punches Student 2*
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: travelinpantsgirl on December 23, 2011, 02:32:09 pm
2nd to last class of the semester...I, the teacher, who keeps meticulous records of what lesson and period the students are on, was off my game one day. I came in thinking they were on 2nd period of the last lesson, but they ALL corrected me...
(4th grade, lowest level class for the most part)

Me: Good Morning. Open your books to page 132, story time 2.
SS: What? No. Teacher, page 1-3-0. Storytime 1.
Me: Really? <look of shock>
SS: Yes, teacher, we are slloooow...
Me: <dying of laughter>

I don't know where they learned that. This is a class that sometimes doesn't understand the dialogue on the CDRom, so that they came up with that was amazing and funny. Needless to say I had to combine lessons to finish, because "they are slow" haha
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: lotte world on December 23, 2011, 03:04:13 pm
I prepared a simple worksheet with three blank panels for the students to draw a comic strip with some English dialog.

Student: Teachar!  How do you spell 'transgender'?
Me: Uh...
Student: You know, man changee, woman changee.
Me: (!!!) Uh, T-R-...

These are girls in my 1st grade middle school class...
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: karenology on January 11, 2012, 04:40:18 pm
Student: "Teacher - I don't think so my class will win the pizza party."
Me: "Why not?"
Student: "My class is full of morons."
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: Chalkie on January 20, 2012, 07:59:26 pm
Teacher: Okay, let's give ourseleves animal names for this class. Any ideas?

Student 1: I want to be Rabbit.

Student 2: I want to be Cat.

Student 3: Teacher, you can be Fat Pig. Okay?

Much laughter...
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: sheikhnguyen on February 04, 2012, 01:53:11 pm
University oral exam.

Me: Can you tell me about your friends?

Student: Yes, my friend *&^%$ has a lot of money, he is a son of a rich.

Cue me shoving a pen into my mouth to control myself.

Another University oral exam:

Me: Can you tell me about your parents?

Student: My Father is a teacher and my Mother is a rectum of a University.

Couldn't control myself on this one I'm afraid and let out a single hoot of laughter.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: Driver 8 on February 06, 2012, 09:56:13 am
I asked one of my students what he thought might happen with Kim  Jong Eun  in charge of North Korea now.  All he said was, "Kim  Jong Eun is pig." :laugh:
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: Amandada6262000 on February 06, 2012, 10:11:36 am
One of my second grade (middle school) boys told me it's his parents' anniversary. I asked him "What will you buy for them?" His answer: "Hite."
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: sunshinefiasco on February 06, 2012, 03:16:45 pm
Kid points at me with his thumb up in the "Buddy Jesus" pose: Teachaaa, You raise me up.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: matthewm12 on February 09, 2012, 09:02:45 am
Student who really needs to go to the bathroom but can't quite remember how to ask:

Teacher!  I am a toilet!

My student walked up to me and acted out the action of peeing (closed eyes and sighing).
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: DWAEDGIMORIGUKBAP on February 09, 2012, 02:17:51 pm
After 3 monhs teaching them and then having a Korean teacher start split teaching the class (see my 'I'm sick of it thread' for more details)

"Teacher, you made we do very good work and our parents liked that.  You are good teacher.  But ______ teacher lets we do more funny.  So now we like him.  You are wangta teacher."

Jeez, thanks.

Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: k.canada on February 22, 2012, 09:52:33 pm
I was teaching some beginners how to sing a song, line by line. The song was "If you're happy and you know it". What happened next reminded me the importance of pronunciation and the difference between the Korean and English language.

T: Repeat after me. If you're happy and you know it clap your hands.

S: If you're happy and you know it crap your hands.


 :o
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: Driver 8 on February 23, 2012, 08:37:38 am
I was teaching some beginners how to sing a song, line by line. The song was "If you're happy and you know it". What happened next reminded me the importance of pronunciation and the difference between the Korean and English language.

T: Repeat after me. If you're happy and you know it clap your hands.

S: If you're happy and you know it crap your hands.


 :o

Ha ha Ha.  Yeah well, mispronouncing the L and R's is always going to be an issue for students in almost any Asian country, and it's probably one of the hardest one's to eradicate, or teach to, as it's an accent issue.  Man!  I wouldn't even bother.  It's too low on the priority list.  Also, since the s sound and I sound make the "sh" sound in Korean,  this instruction was given to me more than once this year:

"Teachah, Sh-t."
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: sambalina on February 23, 2012, 10:35:48 am
While doing Leo's 'Crazy inventions' lesson.
Me: What are some other crazy inventions?
Sts: *long silence*...
Girl: (very proud of her contribution) "Smoking!".

So true, kid :)
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: jisun on February 23, 2012, 12:00:42 pm
Quote
Also, since the s sound and I sound make the "sh" sound in Korean,  this instruction was given to me more than once this year:

"Teachah, Sh-t."

The kids were behaving a little wildly one day when one of my boys shouted at the top of his voice, "EVERYBODY TAKE A SH-T!!" The funniest part was that he looked so proud of himself for helping to re-establish calm (and it worked).
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: Driver 8 on February 23, 2012, 12:28:35 pm
Quote
Also, since the s sound and I sound make the "sh" sound in Korean,  this instruction was given to me more than once this year:

"Teachah, Sh-t."

The kids were behaving a little wildly one day when one of my boys shouted at the top of his voice, "EVERYBODY TAKE A SH-T!!" The funniest part was that he looked so proud of himself for helping to re-establish calm (and it worked).

Makes sense.  It usually calms me down. :laugh:
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: terivinix on February 24, 2012, 04:32:08 pm
Several years ago I selected a bunch of public domain photos from the Internet for a photo description page on a website I worked for.

Students type in their captions and I proofread them. One of the photos was selected before I knew who Mitt Romney was.

(https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/422187_10151322047670322_539910321_22905564_1568722265_n.jpg)

Anyway, it just popped up in the rotation recently, and a student wrote this:

Quote
the spy

the man kill the three man and tow woman. he is trash... he is
cragy!!!!!! he is die the police officer

So I'm guessing they either know nothing about US politics, or more than we think.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: notanartist on February 29, 2012, 10:39:42 am
In a lesson about animals with a 4th grader, I asked the girl what mice eat.  She couldn't think of anything, so I asked her what Mickey Mouse eats.  She thought for a minute, then yelled "Mickey Mouse eats Minnie Mouse!" and cracked up.

I almost responded, "No, I mean what does Mickey eat for food?" before I stopped myself.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: Chalkie on March 04, 2012, 11:15:49 am
Bumped into some of my grade 4 elementary students in town the other day.

Following conversation..

Student 1: Oh teacher, I like you, I love you very much!

Teacher: Um, well, thankyou.

Student 2: (Points at student 1) Teacher, he is gay, yes, very gay.

Teacher: I don't think that you really know what gay is.

Student 2: Yes! HE is gay.

Much laughter..

Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: tatidalupe on March 04, 2012, 08:12:54 pm
These are hilarious. Thank you for sharing. I can't wait to have some stories to share.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: makeshiftb0y on March 07, 2012, 09:50:45 am
For an ice breaker, I had students each write down a number between 1 and 10 and then told them that's how many facts they have to tell me about themselves. I pulled one students card who had written a 10.

He stands up, and proudly states, "I really love Japanese porn."

All I could think was how this is going to be a long list of hilariously awkward and inappropriate facts.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: S.B. on March 08, 2012, 07:00:20 pm
Weirdly continuing the porn theme...

Did an activity where students had to interview each other about their hobbies, then present those hobbies to the class (E.G. Dave says "Steve likes to play video games," Steve says "Gloria loves to read books" etc)

ME: "OK, who did you talk to?"
LCO: "I talked to PJG"
ME: "OK, and what was his hobby?"
LCO (smirk): "PJG loves to watch erotic movie!"
PJG: "NO! NO NO! I DIDN'T SAY!"
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: jackdaniels on March 08, 2012, 07:32:42 pm
Suggestion on what to have for class party.

Food: Fried Kitchen and Cider!
Why: Because taste is very good and teacher pay.

 :-X
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: travelinpantsgirl on March 09, 2012, 07:27:05 am
Suggestion on what to have for class party.

Food: Fried Kitchen and Cider!
Why: Because taste is very good and teacher pay.

 :-X

Jack, have you seen the Were Busy Beavers video on "rooms of the house"? HAHA they teach them, "he's in the kitchen - not chicken!" Ironic that your students reversed it, but that song exhibits how often the two words are confused. I love it - Fried kitchen!
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: keepemgreen on March 09, 2012, 07:47:42 am
First question from any student, ever.

"Do you like iguanas?"
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: alyissa on March 14, 2012, 11:59:07 am
I showed a picture of some landscape in Canada and a bird was in the picture, one of my third graders yelled out UFO!!!! and it sent the class into uncontrollable laughter
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: Joltz on March 18, 2012, 05:01:35 pm
Just finished my first week of classes and after my intro ppt I told the kids I wanted to go around the classroom and have them say their names and something about themselves in English. 3 things they got a candy 5 things they got chocolate... and thus the hilarity started:

"Me: Just one more thing and you get chocolate.
Student: Teacher, I am big boy, candy?"

"Me: Ok, what's your name?
Student: Teacher, your eyes twinkle, your skin is so radiant.
Me: (laughing) Ooookay, what's your name?
Student: Teacher I love you! ... Candy?"

"Me: Just one more thing... um... where are you from?
Student: (staring blankly at me)
Me: I am from...
Student: I am from...
Me: ... Korea...
Student: OH! Korea!"

"Me: Just one more thing... um...
Student: My phone number is....(proceeds to give me his phone number)"

"Student: My name is Steve
Me: Steve?
Student: Yes, Steve.
Me: Okay Steve what else?
Student: I am 14 years old, I like all food. I no pets. My favorite tv show is running man.... Finish?
Me: No, just one more thing and you get more candy.
Student: (thinking) oh! I am a boy!"



There were more but I can't think of them now. I can tell this is going to be a funny year though.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: swissmiss on March 19, 2012, 10:03:39 am
We were reading a story about a girl that was stressed and I asked a couple of students what they did when they were stressed.  One replied:
"I take stress medicine."  In Korea, where there seems to be medicine for everything, I wanted to know what that was so I asked.  "What is stress medicine."
S: "It is medicine you take when your stressed."
T: "Is it actual medicine from the pharmacy, food, what is it?"
S: "I make it."
T: "Okay, and what do you use to make it?"
S: "I mix medicines."

 :o :oOmigod, my student is mixing pharmaceuticals!
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: SBracken on March 19, 2012, 12:21:07 pm
first lesson, laying down the class rules. Started by asking the students for examples of school rules...

"uniform!"
"sleep!" (<- always one smartmouth who says that)
"study!"
"no running!"
"no smoking!"
"no fighting!"
"no heroin!"
...what??
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: gsoto on March 20, 2012, 12:39:38 pm
Extremely HILARIOUS!! and some have even happened to me, and I've only been here 2 weeks!!
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: CellarDoor on March 23, 2012, 12:50:00 pm
Overheard during a post office role-play using realia and play money:

Student A (following prompts): "I'm here to buy some stamps."
Student B: Okay.  This stamp two million won.
Me (overhearing): 2,000,000 won?!  ??? Where does it go to??
Student B: Go to solar system!

In another group:
Student 1: "Hi, there.  How can I help you?"
Student 2: Give me money!  I have gun!  This is robbery! (points index finger like it's a gun)

Others sat around inventing gambling games until my co-teacher caught on and put an end to that.  One class smuggled a love letter one boy had received into an envelope.  The next class found it before I did...  The girls were generally better-behaved, but less creative.

*sigh*  ::) Well, at least they were using English!
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: makeshiftb0y on March 23, 2012, 01:16:34 pm
What the Hello Kitty?!
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: Songwon on March 26, 2012, 07:58:39 am
*after my co-teacher and I had done a cute little role-play about losing things to introduce the next lesson*

Co-teacher: "Now, what do you think we're going to study in class today?"
Girl: "English!"
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: Joltz on March 26, 2012, 03:19:29 pm
A-mazing one today. Ok so I have this one student (who I think has a little crush on me) who comes to speak with me every day during his lunch period. He talks to me about different things, explains Korean history, or some tv show or whatever. So today we were  talking about the difference between education in the U.S. and in Korea and he goes:

"Student: Teacha, I think Korea like spotta of education.
Me: Sputter?
Student: Spotta teacha
Me: um... What?
Student: Spotta! Like THIS IS SPOTTA!!!"

I laughed so hard I had tears rolling down my cheeks.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: SBracken on March 27, 2012, 07:20:36 am
A-mazing one today. Ok so I have this one student (who I think has a little crush on me) who comes to speak with me every day during his lunch period. He talks to me about different things, explains Korean history, or some tv show or whatever. So today we were  talking about the difference between education in the U.S. and in Korea and he goes:

"Student: Teacha, I think Korea like spotta of education.
Me: Sputter?
Student: Spotta teacha
Me: um... What?
Student: Spotta! Like THIS IS SPOTTA!!!"

I laughed so hard I had tears rolling down my cheeks.

actually, I think comparing the Korean education system to sparta isn't so far off.... wtg, kid. I can never make any movie references to my students *sigh*
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: genius_advice on March 27, 2012, 07:27:31 am
Me: Okay, pretend you are someone else. I'm Batman!
Ss: What?! You a bad man?!?!
Ss: WHAT?! FAT MAN?!
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: Engrish on March 27, 2012, 06:07:53 pm
One of my cutest 1st grade middle school students, in response to the limerick about the man from st. Ives, screamed "WHOOOOOOOOOOORE!"
 
none of my other students understood :laugh:
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: theTazz on March 29, 2012, 08:19:04 am
This happened early last year, when I was still brand-new and had no idea what I was doing.
Teaching 6th grade, asking questions and trying to ensure everyone had a chance to answer, I'd look at them and say, mostly to myself, "You've been...No, you've been..."
The class got a confused look on their collective faces and asked, "Yu Bin?" Yes, there was a girl in that class called Yu Bin. When I'd stopped laughing I explained to them what I'd actually said :P

In other news: http://www.lamebook.com/teach-teach-baby/teach-teach-baby/
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: makeshiftb0y on March 29, 2012, 09:02:06 am
A dialogue between two students about where they lived before:

A: Do you remember the best place you ever lived?
B: Yes. It was Pyongyang, North Korea.
A: Oh, really? What was it like there?
B: There were lots of beautiful women there and robots.
A: What was your most memorable experience there?
B: What I remember most was eating noodles--Pyongyang noodles--and Kim Jong Il's death.
A: Oh, wow. Sounds great. So why did you move away?
B: I suppose it was because Kim Jong Il died. I don't like Kim Jong Un.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: flasyb on March 29, 2012, 09:31:50 am
A dialogue between two students about where they lived before:

A: Do you remember the best place you ever lived?
B: Yes. It was Pyongyang, North Korea.
A: Oh, really? What was it like there?
B: There were lots of beautiful women there and robots.
A: What was your most memorable experience there?
B: What I remember most was eating noodles--Pyongyang noodles--and Kim Jong Il's death.
A: Oh, wow. Sounds great. So why did you move away?
B: I suppose it was because Kim Jong Il died. I don't like Kim Jong Un.

Wow! That's really advanced and creative, not to mention funny. Was that off the cuff or written?
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: makeshiftb0y on March 29, 2012, 09:54:57 am
A dialogue between two students about where they lived before:

A: Do you remember the best place you ever lived?
B: Yes. It was Pyongyang, North Korea.
A: Oh, really? What was it like there?
B: There were lots of beautiful women there and robots.
A: What was your most memorable experience there?
B: What I remember most was eating noodles--Pyongyang noodles--and Kim Jong Il's death.
A: Oh, wow. Sounds great. So why did you move away?
B: I suppose it was because Kim Jong Il died. I don't like Kim Jong Un.

Wow! That's really advanced and creative, not to mention funny. Was that off the cuff or written?

I'm in a private high school, so a lot of my students are pretty advanced. That was mainly off the cuff, because they were goofing off while they were supposed to be practicing and thus, did not have anything prepared when it was time to present; however, it's not as impressive as it sounds--they did add the funny and creative parts, but a lot of the main phrases were just copied from the textbook.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: makeshiftb0y on March 29, 2012, 10:01:49 am
A dialogue between two students about where they lived before:

A: Do you remember the best place you ever lived?
B: Yes. It was Pyongyang, North Korea.
A: Oh, really? What was it like there?
B: There were lots of beautiful women there and robots.
A: What was your most memorable experience there?
B: What I remember most was eating noodles--Pyongyang noodles--and Kim Jong Il's death.
A: Oh, wow. Sounds great. So why did you move away?
B: I suppose it was because Kim Jong Il died. I don't like Kim Jong Un.

Wow! That's really advanced and creative, not to mention funny. Was that off the cuff or written?

I'm in a private high school, so a lot of my students are pretty advanced. That was mainly off the cuff, because they were goofing off while they were supposed to be practicing and thus, did not have anything prepared when it was time to present; however, it's not as impressive as it sounds--they did add the funny and creative parts, but a lot of the main phrases were just copied from the textbook.

When he first said eating noodles was memorable, everyone roared with disappointment, so he added in, "Pyongyang noodles" and everyone cracked up and shouted, "AH! OK!!!" It was pretty funny.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: hara6 on March 29, 2012, 10:20:19 am
This happened just yesterday with my most talented English speaker - Gotta love the 6th graders.

S: What's this teachers? (Takes out a plastic water gun)
Me: It's a gun...
S: WRONG!! It's a pistol! I shot you now! Give me chocolate! (sprays me with water...)

~.~
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: Songwon on March 30, 2012, 11:28:22 am
We had an African guy come in a few days ago to talk to the kids.  In one class, a girl looked at me, my co-teacher and the African guy all standing at the front of the class and said, "White, yellow, black!" 
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: karenology on March 30, 2012, 01:46:10 pm
I showed some of my curious students a picture of me with my boyfriend.

Student 1: "Oh...sorry..."

Me: "Why?"

Student 1: "Teacher boyfriend is little handsome. Not big handsome."

Student 2: "It's okay. Teacher and boyfriend are same handsome."
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: Yu_Bumsuk on April 03, 2012, 07:23:42 pm
Tonight in my evening HS class I was asking my students why they want to learn English. One said because she wants to marry a foreigner, especially an Australian. She's a pretty girl now and will probably be just stunning when she's 20. I felt like saying 'Your English is already good enough to bag an Aussie'.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: travelinpantsgirl on April 04, 2012, 08:05:55 am
Tonight in my evening HS class I was asking my students why they want to learn English. One said because she wants to marry a foreigner, especially an Australian. She's a pretty girl now and will probably be just stunning when she's 20. I felt like saying 'Your English is already good enough to bag an Aussie'.

I like her honesty! Two thumbs up for that. I say get her a Aussie slang book to help her along...haha.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: Yu_Bumsuk on April 04, 2012, 08:28:49 am
Tonight in my evening HS class I was asking my students why they want to learn English. One said because she wants to marry a foreigner, especially an Australian. She's a pretty girl now and will probably be just stunning when she's 20. I felt like saying 'Your English is already good enough to bag an Aussie'.

I like her honesty! Two thumbs up for that. I say get her a Aussie slang book to help her along...haha.

That's a great idea, actually. Maybe I could also find some Aussie TV programmes (she spend a month in Aus during MS). She seems like the type who's got all exciting about really improving English in HS. Unfortunately those types often get dragged down by the testing system and after a few months "real" English goes by the wayside.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: travelinpantsgirl on April 04, 2012, 08:38:20 am
Tonight in my evening HS class I was asking my students why they want to learn English. One said because she wants to marry a foreigner, especially an Australian. She's a pretty girl now and will probably be just stunning when she's 20. I felt like saying 'Your English is already good enough to bag an Aussie'.

I like her honesty! Two thumbs up for that. I say get her a Aussie slang book to help her along...haha.

That's a great idea, actually. Maybe I could also find some Aussie TV programmes (she spend a month in Aus during MS). She seems like the type who's got all exciting about really improving English in HS. Unfortunately those types often get dragged down by the testing system and after a few months "real" English goes by the wayside.

After she graduates there is nothing unethical about you introducing her to any worthy Aussie friends you may have so that she may keep that dream alive by continuing to speak real English with them as well as boning up a bit on her Aussie slang. Perhaps suggest a Aussie Uni over a Korean one (I don't know your students financial background, but I do know Oz has a little know immigration loophole that says if you go to school there for a needed field - and there are a lot to choose from- you get permanent residency  ;D)
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: Yu_Bumsuk on April 04, 2012, 08:50:21 am
Tonight in my evening HS class I was asking my students why they want to learn English. One said because she wants to marry a foreigner, especially an Australian. She's a pretty girl now and will probably be just stunning when she's 20. I felt like saying 'Your English is already good enough to bag an Aussie'.

I like her honesty! Two thumbs up for that. I say get her a Aussie slang book to help her along...haha.

That's a great idea, actually. Maybe I could also find some Aussie TV programmes (she spend a month in Aus during MS). She seems like the type who's got all exciting about really improving English in HS. Unfortunately those types often get dragged down by the testing system and after a few months "real" English goes by the wayside.

After she graduates there is nothing unethical about you introducing her to any worthy Aussie friends you may have so that she may keep that dream alive by continuing to speak real English with them as well as boning up a bit on her Aussie slang. Perhaps suggest a Aussie Uni over a Korean one (I don't know your students financial background, but I do know Oz has a little know immigration loophole that says if you go to school there for a needed field - and there are a lot to choose from- you get permanent residency  ;D)

Well we'll see if it's just an adolescent pipe dream or not. She also wants to be a stewardess, so if she succeeds she'll have plenty of chances.

I have a former student who's now studying in Vancouver, who also wants to be a stewardess. She asked me what's the best way to meet ordinary Canadians. I felt like saying 'Just walk into any bar and pick out any guy you want'. If you saw her you'd know why.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: notinKS on April 10, 2012, 10:37:04 am
I'm working on a "bucket list" lesson this week with my middle school 1st grade students. The best one so far has been "I would like to go all over the old."
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: Yu_Bumsuk on April 16, 2012, 12:37:40 pm
"I don't recycle paper and plastic because I am a sexy girl".

She's actually quite a dork.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: SBracken on April 17, 2012, 06:47:29 am
Wore my hair in a single plait yesterday -> "Teacha, avatar hair!! But you no blue, very good."
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: makeshiftb0y on April 19, 2012, 09:12:02 am
The textbook activity was to complete a chart to see how much you watch tv, use a desk lamp, etc. to see how much electricity you use and then discuss how to conserve energy. I was walking around the room to make sure students are on task and help them if needed, and I overhear this:

(One student speaking to another in a somewhat scolding, fatherly tone)

"...How can you use so much electricity? You are in school until 11pm. 11pm! Everyday! Why you use so much electricty? How? What do you do when you get home? Huh? What do you do? We need to save energy. We use too much. Tell me, what do you do? Why do you use so much?"

After walking around the room a bit, I come back to these two students. The same one is still talking, but now the other has his head down.

"...I know you like those videos, but they are bad. You cannot watch those videos anymore. If you want to live long life, stop that. I know many teenagers like those kind of videos, but they are not good."

(Student B finally chimes in) "They are good. ::giggles::"

(Back to Student A) "HEY! The earth is dying! You need to stop watching those videos. You waste too much energy. We need to save the earth..."


I was cracking up and was very impressed with his English--it might have been a little worse than what I've typed, but it was still really good.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: steve2398132 on April 19, 2012, 10:06:09 am
Team names the students came up with during my last class:  God of Death, panda, Jong-su, and toilets   
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: CellarDoor on April 26, 2012, 08:45:59 am
A male HS student on the first day back from a training field trip:
"I paid them money; they gave me pain."

A female HS student filling out the "date" blank on top of her worksheet:
"No... forever alone..."
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: flasyb on April 26, 2012, 08:59:38 am
I was going through one of the "What's the Word?" warm-ups posted by Francois here. They're great and all the students try to participate and shout out the answers before their classmates. http://waygook.org/index.php/topic,26376.msg189713.html#msg189713

On one of the slides (what's the word 12 I think) there is a picture of an extended index (not middle!) finger and a picture of a nail.

Student (desperate to get the answer it): Ah, mmm, ahh... f*** you!

Another slide, same class, same game, had a picture of a hand and a picture of a bag.

Student: Hand job!

I cracked up and was doubled over laughing. Then of course the students really wanted to know what a hand job is...
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: theTazz on April 26, 2012, 09:35:44 am
Grade 4.

Me: "How are you today?"

Boy student: "Peachy keen!"

I lol'ed.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: anixela on April 28, 2012, 10:32:45 pm
Student: "Teacher, your nose is like Everest."

Yay?
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: koo856 on April 29, 2012, 08:33:31 pm
a student saw a ring on my finger and wanted to ask if I was married.

Student: teacher! are you marry me?

other students cracked up and so did I :P
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: ehodges33 on April 30, 2012, 04:52:49 am
my first day of class after doing a powerpoint of who I am

Me: You can ask me any questions now.
Student: What's your phone number?
Me: Um...I don't have a phone yet.
Student: So what's your address?
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: nathanpollard on May 07, 2012, 03:30:51 pm
Middle school first grade lesson with 36 boys;

Me: Name something dangerous.
Pupil: Women are very dangerous.

Smart kid.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: travelinpantsgirl on May 07, 2012, 08:18:46 pm
I have a boy student in 4th who has for reasons unknown to anyone but him (if he even knows ???) decided he's a girl. He has changed his given name to a Korean name specific to girls. This has been going on since almost the beginning of the school year...
So today this student decided to say to me "____Teacher, I love you! I'm a girl, so you know, two girls..."
 ??? ??? :o :o
I really wonder about that boy...he dresses up in girls hair bows and pony tail holders and headbands.... :-\
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: genius_advice on May 14, 2012, 12:53:07 pm
Student 1: Teacher! Teacher! It's . . . ?
Me: Yes? You have a question?
Student 2: IT'S SHOWTIME!
Student 1: YEAH, IT'S SHOWTIME! HAHAHA!
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: justanotherwaygook on May 23, 2012, 02:10:46 pm
Today, during a bomb game, we had a review slide.  It was a gif of Family Guy characters vomiting.  We had previously learned the phrase using the same gif.

The answer was supposed to be:

"They're nauseous."

The student's answer:

"They're religious!"
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: bb on May 23, 2012, 11:03:03 pm
A kindergarten student trying to grasp what I was doing in Korea:

Student: "You're not Korean?"
Me: "Nope."
Student: (long pensive pause) "Are your mom and dad Korean?"
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: Andyroo on May 24, 2012, 07:45:53 am
In my morning class the students have a habit of yelling "get out" or "why are you late" to anyone that arrives after they do.

Just for laughs as it's a voluntary club so I am pretty laziz faire about attendance.

Today the door handle started turning and one of the girls yells "GET OUT!"

Then went into deep embarrassment when it was not one of her friends that walked through the door but the Principal.

Later the topic was inventions and do you have an idea for one. That same student got stuck on her words and kept making a hand motion that well...looked like she was going to invent "expanding breasts". I tried to keep a straight face and hope she would get the words out but once the other students started cracking up I had to laugh too.

For the record she was going to invent clothes that automatically change.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: M.Shillingburg on June 01, 2012, 07:35:10 am
It's not so much what my students said, as what my students did. Yesterday, one little 9 year old girl started playing with my arm hair.

I'm a pretty average in the hair department. I have arm hair. These kids were fascinated by it. One little girl took out a comb. That's when I broke them off and started the lesson.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: csk284 on June 01, 2012, 09:55:28 am
It's not so much what my students said, as what my students did. Yesterday, one little 9 year old girl started playing with my arm hair.

I'm a pretty average in the hair department. I have arm hair. These kids were fascinated by it. One little girl took out a comb. That's when I broke them off and started the lesson.

Oh god, that comb thing is hilarious... I've noticed all of them are carrying around combs for their hair, and just imagining them pulling the same comb out for arm hair is killing me.

I had my students make name tags for me, I asked them to write some information about themselves on the back (favorite food, # siblings, etc.) and one decided it would be funny to write his phone number.  So I asked him about it and he didn't really answer me, except to say I should have it.  Other students laughed at him, but then they all started writing their numbers/a number.  One kid wrote his number along with "Call me when you lonely" with a carat under "you" because he had forgotten to put that in.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: chris24747 on June 01, 2012, 03:10:08 pm
The othe rday I as on a field trip sith some of my 4th grade (elementary school) kids, and some boys from another school came up to me and started to say, "Are you crazy? Are you crazy?". I guess I made some interesting facial expressions because one of my students leaned over and told me, "Teacher, don't crazy!" These kids are awesome.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: makeshiftb0y on June 15, 2012, 01:12:50 pm
This is a long one, sorry.

Discussing emergency situations with my last class:

What action should I take if...

...there is a fire?
Stay inside/go to the toilet/sleep.

...there is a flood?
Go swimming.

...there is an earthquake?
Go hiking/die.

...a volcano erupts?
Run/go swimming/sacrifice a friend and ride him to safety.

...I am drowning?
Drink.

...there is a war?
Participate/suicide/kidnap girls and go to Ethiopia.

...a comet hits Earth?
Die.

...aliens attack?
Call the Avengers/kidnap girls and go to Ethiopia.

...there is a nuclear meltdown?
Make mutant babies.

...zombies attack?
Kidnap boys and go to Ethiopia.

...robots attack?
Turn off the electricity.

...there is a tsunami?
Take a deep breath/die.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: tinkerbellmaggie on June 15, 2012, 01:34:17 pm
wow these are hilarious! I keep cracking up and I am supposed to be doing lesson plans! Don't have any contributions at the moment...but when I do....I hope they are as good as these!
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: Superchick3 on June 15, 2012, 03:12:31 pm
Today my last class of the week was doing the usual school joke about me, which is to say "so" when I go to start a lesson. I guess my first class I started all of my classes that way, and used the word throughout the lesson. Normally, I just ignore it or give the cut it out look. Today I decided to play with the class and pretended that I didn't hear them, and proceeded to say "so" as many times as I could pull off without sounding ridiculously obvious. Since I grew up in Southern California I can pull of alot of "so" before getting noticed. Haha, I pretended to be oblivious until the entire class was busting up laughing.  I turned to the class after they stopped laughing and said let's try to start class without using "so" coming from you or me. :)
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: lotte world on June 15, 2012, 03:29:34 pm
Yesterday in class one of my students asked why English doesn't have any bad words.

Hmmm...
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: patrickdean on June 17, 2012, 10:10:09 am
My co-teacher left me for a day with 6th graders so i decided to do some bonding and take them outside to play soccer (the sport of their choice) they wanted me to play on a team so when i finally got the ball and whacked it with my best beckam move the ball went right into some poor students crotch. He bends over winded, I ask if he was ok? He replies, gasping, "teachah you killed my flower :o."  Eventually he recovers and when i ask him again if he was ok he replies, "Oh my wonka! :'(" I must be evil because i laughed all day about it. Don't worry, he is fine and i am sure will still be able to have plenty of korean babies in the future :D
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: Superchick3 on June 18, 2012, 08:56:52 am
Haha had to share. When the kids get old enough maybe they will have a lesson like this one to learn bad words.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V-6NgoxaYNU
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: Random on June 18, 2012, 10:12:12 am
So thanks to my introduction that I wish I hadn't ever done my students know I listen to kpop. It has become a game for them to try and work it into the lessons in a relevant way.

How are you today? "Fantastic baby" "I'm so lonely lonely lonely, lonely lonely" and so on and so forth.

Well, outside of class, when I am walking to a new class, various groups of students will be talking behind me being sneaky, and they will suddenly jump out and make a line beside me and start doing some kpop line as we are walking. Suddenly they will point to me and I will have to continue the line. It is all just a fun game, until another teacher or two started doing it too! Crazy!

Well I have this one girl in 6th grade. She is really antagonistic towards me, tries to stare me down, etc. She has good English and does well in class. My co-teacher says she likes me, that is why she does that. Anyway, this class is dead set on using English names, which I don't like doing. Okay fine, Eng names it is.

I get to her. "Teacher, my name is Juliette!" "Okay nice! Next!" "My name is also Julliete!" "Okay.... and you miss?" "Yep yep, Juliette is good!" "OMG..." then the first girl pushes her desk away, jumps on top of it and goes "Teacher, I'm your Juliette!" and the whole class goes "OOOoooooooohh~~" I died laughing. Though, now any time she says anything in class someone will go "oooh~~"

TL:DR Shinee-Juliette impromptu sixth grade class.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: SBracken on June 18, 2012, 02:34:14 pm
Lesson on "Could I borrow __________?"

High school 2nd grade male: "Could I borrow your magic stick?"

take a wild guess what 'magic stick' was.... *facepalm*
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: genius_advice on June 20, 2012, 03:26:54 pm
"May I borrow your body? I forgot mine..."
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: anixela on June 29, 2012, 12:29:09 pm
Boys, boys, boys... (this is high school btw)

Male student 1: His nickname is Hentai *points to male student 2 as I'm passing by to check on progress*
Me: *pause* In Korean or Japanese? (I'm thinking maybe it means something else in Korean, you never know)
Male student 2: *embarrassed* Japanese.
Me: (LOL in my head) Ah, okay! To each his own. I don't wanna know!
Male student 1: *pointing to male student 2 again* New name is Lape-bin.
Me: Oh dear gad I said I don't wanna know!
Title: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: stemarty on July 20, 2012, 08:31:40 am
Have you ever had one of those moments where you students say the most hilarious things to you and as most times inappropriate as they are you just cant but help and laugh?

What are the best and most memorable quote your kids have said to you while teaching in Korea?

Here are a few that I can think of:

“Oh teacher! You…me…chicken! I take you for chicken, you give me good grade.”

One of my favorite students comes up to me and asks me: Teacher, what does suicide mean?
Me: …that’s not a good word Dae Joong.
Student: Yes I know that. But can you still tell me what it means?
Me:….uhhh ok it means you kill yourself.
Student: OOH ok ok I understand.
Me: Where did you learn that word?
Student: Starcraft.

Me: John, do you know what day it is?
John: uhhhhhh thursday?
Me: no no no! Today is a very special day! Did you forget is is my birthday?
John: OH MY GOSH!
Me: I can't believe it! You forgot my birthday!
John: OH MY GOSH!
Me: I was so excited for my birthday present!
John: Oh...hmmm...how about birthday kiss instead?

Me: Is that an air gun?
Student: Yes, it is like my hobby.
Me: I see. But why did you bring it to school?
Student: Well you see, I bought it secretly and I haven’t had a chance to take it home and hide it. If my mother saw that I had it she would kill me………. Teacher, why are you laughing?

A dialogue created by a grade 3 middle school student:
A: I’m upset because my fish is died.
B: Why don’t you cook it?

I showed my students a video of a skateboarder who runs into a pole right in the nuts (sorry guys) and teaching at an all boy’s middle school after the “OOOOOOHhhhhhhh’s” fell quiet one of my students yelled “you don’t know that pain!”
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: hwana on July 20, 2012, 09:10:22 am
There have been so many but the most recent one was yesterday while playing your Family Feud game with 2nd grade MS. Several groups of kids had hesitated to write a word but it ended up being a double points answer. Half the class were groaning and muttering when one boy stands up and proclaims in a very dramatic tone "Friends, relax. Life is gamble!"

I'm pretty tall at 196cm and the other one that I hear often and shouldn't crack me up but always does is "Jon-teacha, you very long!".
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: sunshinefiasco on July 20, 2012, 10:01:21 am
Contrite first grade middle schooler approaches me for the rubber band I confiscated at the start of class: [sad face] Teacha, I can have rubber?
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: tokkibunni on July 20, 2012, 10:23:44 am
Last year while saying goodbye to my students, one of them wanted to keep in touch with me, so she said, "teacher, goodbye. please touch me."

I burst out a gigle :)
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: Jumpman Jr. on July 20, 2012, 12:52:37 pm
A lot of my students, especially the girls, really like me... some maybe too much.

"Teacher, I love you... I want to make babies with you."

She's freaking in 2nd year high school, too... which is.. what? 16 western age? So I'm sure she knew what she wanted to say.

I couldn't do anything but just laugh.

Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: Jeff619 on July 20, 2012, 01:02:05 pm
Contrite first grade middle schooler approaches me for the rubber band I confiscated at the start of class: [sad face] Teacha, I can have rubber?
I was asking a student what he wanted for his birthday.  He smiled and said "I want condom!"  Turns out 'condom' is Korean for some kind of model or something.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: Travellin' on July 20, 2012, 01:24:08 pm
A lot of my students, especially the girls, really like me... some maybe too much.

"Teacher, I love you... I want to make babies with you."

She's freaking in 2nd year high school, too... which is.. what? 16 western age? So I'm sure she knew what she wanted to say.

I couldn't do anything but just laugh.

I'm a girl and this happens to me all the time at my middle school. The other day some of the girls came into the office and one said "I love you. We are girlfriends" and the other girl said "Ok then I am teachers boyfriend' and the first girl said "NO TEACHER CAN LOVE ME, NO ONE ELSE BUT ME! I AM BOTH BOYFRIEND AND GIRLFRIEND! SHE ONLY LOVES ME AND I WILL BE WITH HER FOREVER!! STAY AWAY!" *screams until other student leaves*

and now I can sympathise with my male friends who have clingy mental girlfriends  ???
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: The.it.girl on July 20, 2012, 01:52:29 pm
I teach at a high school, so last week after the exams I showed the students a movie, One of my 1st grade boys, asks me what the genre of the movie is, I tell him its a romantic comedy, he asks me "Teacher can I go borrow a girlfriend nextdoor" My responce is obviously a NO.. He then comes to the front of his class with his chair puts it down next to me and says: " Well then Teacher today you are my girlfriend??!! OKAY!!!!" ;)
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: SMOE NSET on July 20, 2012, 02:38:35 pm

I was asking a student what he wanted for his birthday.  He smiled and said "I want condom!"  Turns out 'condom' is Korean for some kind of model or something.

It's Gundam and the models are from an anime from Japan. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gundam_Model

There are computers in the English classroom and last year my co-teacher started screaming at some 6th grade boys using them. I asked why and she said they were looking at gay cartoons (not sure what that means or what they entail). One boy said he liked watching erotic movies (pronounced "arrow" in Korean) every day. This is at an elementary school. Needless to say but the computers haven't been turned on since. Glad those boys are gone.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: loswillyams on July 20, 2012, 02:38:35 pm
Contrite first grade middle schooler approaches me for the rubber band I confiscated at the start of class: [sad face] Teacha, I can have rubber?
I was asking a student what he wanted for his birthday.  He smiled and said "I want condom!"  Turns out 'condom' is Korean for some kind of model or something.
I just realized that he was saying, "Gundam" - sorry if you already figured that out, but I'm just now reading over this thread.

Earlier today one of my students was sweeping my room and he started singing "Fantastic Chicken" to the tune of "Fantastic Baby". I loved it.
"WOW. ... Fantastic Chicken"
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: BellyofaWhale on July 20, 2012, 04:38:31 pm
Fantastic chicken is actually a joke cover some Koreans did of the song.  My students sing it all the time
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: bawaugh on July 20, 2012, 05:00:33 pm
Me: you spent 4 years in china.

4th grade student - how did you know?

Me: You told me.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: stemarty on July 21, 2012, 04:02:14 pm
Student: Teacher, what do you think of *****?
Me: ....???!! *****?
Student: Yes yes, ***** pussssssshhhiiiieeeeee
Me: Um I don't really think ....wait. Say that one more time?...... Bushy?
Student: Yes! Yes!! George Bushy!!
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: Lee Jal Seng on July 22, 2012, 12:22:33 am
Student: Teacher, what do you think of *****?
Me: ....???!! *****?
Student: Yes yes, ***** pussssssshhhiiiieeeeee
Me: Um I don't really think ....wait. Say that one more time?...... Bushy?
Student: Yes! Yes!! George Bushy!!
nice.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: waygookinhanguk on July 23, 2012, 07:51:01 am
When taking a quick walk around the school to stretch my legs after an afternoon of lesson planning :

Student: "Teacher, what are you doing?"
Me: "Just taking a walk."
Student: "But why teacher, you're not fat?"

 
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: Chicagohotdog on July 23, 2012, 10:12:59 am
OP - if your students can actually speak like that I am impressed.  I can't get my high schoolers to talk that well, let alone my middle schoolers. 
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: stemarty on July 23, 2012, 11:16:46 am
When taking a quick walk around the school to stretch my legs after an afternoon of lesson planning :

Student: "Teacher, what are you doing?"
Me: "Just taking a walk."
Student: "But why teacher, you're not fat?"

I once went hiking with my co-teacher (I really am not much of a hiker but I still do it to please my teachers) and after we climbed like 600 stairs up a mountain we took a rest at a picnic area.

the P.E. teacher looked at me and said: Hey...You....Good...Stairmaster.... really fast....why? ...... no need...... no need for you...you slimmer now than last year.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: padme on July 25, 2012, 01:20:34 am
(In a robotic voice, similar to the one they use in the listening tests) "Hello, Nathalie! What is your name?"

"Teacher, are you married? If not, don't worry. Every Jack has his Jill" Hahahaha ;D
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: TheEnergizer on July 26, 2012, 10:17:58 am
my own blog for recording these things:

http://eslfunnies.blogspot.com
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: ehmaeearwhy on August 22, 2012, 08:40:20 am
I was doing an assignment where the kids were allowed to get a little loud, but these two boys in the back were extra rowdy.  I gave them a stare, and when one of the boys noticed me staring he defensively pointed at the other boy and said, "Teacher, he's f***ing me!"  o_o
I wasn't sure how to respond so I was just going to ignore it, but he says another three times, "He's f***ing me!"  I finally had to call him aside and ask him if he knew what that meant. 
He said no... I'm pretty sure he meaning that the other kid was f***ing with him...
but I didn't feel like it was my place to explain that to him. 
so I just told him not to say what he did because he's saying something very bad about himself. -_-
the end.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: Superchick3 on August 22, 2012, 10:20:25 am
I had to play 20 Questions in one of my classes because we did not have the projector working and my students were picking other students in the room to describe. Well, Korean pronunciation definitely confused both me and my coteacher. The student was trying to say "Does he like insects?" Instead we heard " Does he like in sex?" Both my coteacher and I turned red and needed him to repeat himself to figure out what he was trying to say!
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: Manyisa_1 on August 22, 2012, 10:48:59 am
" Does he like in sex?"

Could have been worse,I could swear  I would have heard "Does he like incest"
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: SBracken on August 23, 2012, 07:41:11 am
During one camp, we had a really small class; they all know each other really well and get along great- it's a small school. everybody was playing during break, in particular a boy and a girl that were beating on each other, shouting (I'm sure he made fun of her kpop-covered desk or something along those lines ;) ). One of the first grade students was just quietly hanging out near me at this point, and she looks up at me and says:
'Teacha, they are S and M!'
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: makeshiftb0y on August 24, 2012, 10:19:25 am
For a warm up, I had my students decide what they would bring with them if they got stranded on a desert island. For a fictional character, one group said God, for items/objects, many groups said girls, and one group said a Maxim magazine and tissues...


In another class:
Me:  What is an example of something that can "do more harm than good"?
Student:  Too much masturbation.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: stemarty on August 24, 2012, 01:38:57 pm
in a grade 2 students summer vacation journal:
This camp's lunch is trash. I would rather eat bread than trash.

Shin You: Oh teacher....you me....chicken.....I take you for chicken, you give me good grade.

Me: Do you know what day it is today?
John: uh...thursday?
Me: no no. Its my birthday!
John: OH MY GOSH
Me: You forgot?! You promised me you would remember!
John: OH MY GOSH!
Me: I am sad you forgot to get me a present?
John: uhhhh...hmmm how about birthday kiss instead?
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: Jaunter on August 24, 2012, 02:00:06 pm
"This will have a bad outcome, I predict it." One of my sixth grade boys while playing a bomb game.

"I said your face looks like barbeque." Another sixth grade boy when asking them to describe this picture.  :laugh:
(http://i45.tinypic.com/33dibrt.jpg)
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: RachelTibai on August 24, 2012, 02:33:07 pm
Female 6th grade student: Teacher your body smells like... bubble bubble?...washing hands?...
Me: Soap?
Female 6th grade student: Soap! Teacher your body smells like soap!
Me: Umm, ok. That is good. Thanks!
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: esgvanha on August 30, 2012, 07:22:12 pm
So I was teaching my students about Haikus today, and one of the students could not think of what to put for the final 5 syllables about himself. He ended up settling with "buffalo chicken".
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: stemarty on September 06, 2012, 06:58:00 am
Hero: Sir! Yes Sir!
 Me: Sir? I'm a boy?
 Hero: OH NO TEACHER! What is the word for woman?
 Me: Ma'am...but that makes me feel old. Call me Captain.
 Hero: Oh Captain my Captain!
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: 제이 on September 06, 2012, 07:22:18 am
I am walking down the street to home yesterday. I get a tap on the shoulder from a student:

Him: Hey Teacher, you're handsome.
Me: Thanks, you too.
Him: I know.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: Chicagohotdog on September 06, 2012, 07:34:56 am
Today, as I was walking up to the school as the first teacher to arrive one of my female students was walking down the hill away from the school.

S: Teacher, Hi!
Me: Hi!
S: Teacher, bye!
Me: Bye?  Not bye, hi.
S: I go home.
Me: Already?  (It's like 8AM at this point) Why?
S: I don't know...
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: SmileySam on September 06, 2012, 08:16:13 am
Happens every week. This week's gem:

Lee Taewook: Samantha Teacher, you know Michael teacher?
Me: Yes, of course.
Lee Taewook: Michael teacher is uh... Hitler, don't you think?

It should be noted that Michael teacher is actually 신용진 teacher, and that the class just call him Michael for my benefit. Still not entirely sure why...
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: justanotherwaygook on September 06, 2012, 08:48:43 am
I recently started shaving my head, which has generally been well received.

Student: Teacher, you shiny!
Me: Thanks.  ::)
Student: Teacher, I like long hair. (voicing her disapproval of my shaved dome)
Me: I like short hair.
Student: But!  You have no hair!

 ::)
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: ktkates87 on September 06, 2012, 09:06:14 am
While trying to explain the expression "would you like some cheese with that wine?" to an elementary school student......

Student: whimpering about having to study
me: awww would you like some cheese with that wine?
Student: but teach-uh, cider goes best with pizza!!!

Talking about sounds you can hear inside and outside of your house

Billy: i can hear the cicadas
tommy: I can hear my mother cooking
suzie: I can hear the television
peter: I can hear my father crying

That was a bit of a head-scratcher.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: alljokingaside on September 06, 2012, 11:15:13 am
Last year in my old high school, a stick of a student with a whine for a voice, right on the borderline of pre- and pubescent, comes up to me and....

student: "COCK! HIT! HE HIT COCK. HE! HIT! COCK!!"
me:*lmao*
student: "COCK! HIT!"
me: *still lmao*
student: WHY?! MY COCK....!
me: *doubled over, still lmao*
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: iseya on September 06, 2012, 12:09:08 pm
I get at least one laugh out of my highschool boys every day.

Yesterday...
I'm washing my hands in the bathroom and a student starts up an exchange with me from the urinal he's using

Student: Hi teacha. how are you?
Me:  Hello. I am pretty good.  How about you?
Student: I touching my Johnson.
Me:  ::walking out with a chuckle:: Wash your hands when youre done.
Student:  OKAY teacha!
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: Greigg on September 06, 2012, 12:12:20 pm
I wasn't really involved in this stream of consciousness yelled out by alternating students in my 5th grade elementary class, but it started when I walked in with a little bag of candy for a game I was going to play.

Random Student 1 "Teacher! Gimmie present!"
Random Student 2 "Gimmie present!!
Random Student 3 "Gimmie president!"
Random Student 4, thoughtfully; "George Bush was a good president."
Random Student 5, aghast; "No he wasn't!  I like Obama."
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: Chicagohotdog on September 06, 2012, 12:32:25 pm
I wasn't really involved in this stream of consciousness yelled out by alternating students in my 5th grade elementary class, but it started when I walked in with a little bag of candy for a game I was going to play.

Random Student 1 "Teacher! Gimmie present!"
Random Student 2 "Gimmie present!!
Random Student 3 "Gimmie president!"
Random Student 4, thoughtfully; "George Bush was a good president."
Random Student 5, aghast; "No he wasn't!  I like Obama."


Hahaha!  O man...I want to have your students.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: Tristin on September 06, 2012, 12:36:59 pm
One student told me I am "pinnochio friend"

Girl told me, Teacher, your eyes goes BLING BLING!

Another student, teacher I have to s***, I got to go. I told him, "ask nicely."   he sighed, "Teacher I have to S*** may I please go."
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: JPJ2010 on September 06, 2012, 01:18:51 pm
fave of my students from last year:

Me : What's a word for mother chicken?
Student : DELICIOUS!
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: stemarty on September 06, 2012, 03:30:16 pm
Oh Teacher! You're hair is like Lion King
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: TheEnergizer on September 06, 2012, 04:12:41 pm
Haha these are awesome. I got some pretty funny ones submitted by other teachers today as well. Thanks all who followed and liked the fb page ;)

What about pictures from students? I've had some pretty awful and funny picture drawn of me.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: lotte world on September 11, 2012, 03:07:57 pm
Me: How are you?
Student: I'm hungry.
Me: You're always hungry.
Student: No, teacher!  Not "always"!  Umm.  "Usually".
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: Diminished Capacity on September 11, 2012, 08:43:41 pm

During a monthly interview/speaking test:

Diminished: So, what do you do on your birthday?
Student: I have a party with my family, and then I blow my cake.
Diminished: You blow your cake?
Student: Yes.
Diminished: I see.

It was pretty funny, but I didn't laugh because he said it so enthusiastically. That made it funnier though.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: JeremyC on September 11, 2012, 09:21:31 pm
Heh, this thread has 510 Replies and 33,792 Views, but only 1 from the guy who started it - asking for 'Stuff My Students Said' to be put on his new website, www.stuffmystudentssaid.com. Nobody put anything on his website but this thread would be a goldmine if he ever were to check back.

Follow through, people !!
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: smippy on September 12, 2012, 08:14:47 am
Conversation with one of my 2nd graders (elementary)

S: Teacher! Constipation.... what is it?

Me: o_o Um, it means you can't poop.

S: Okay!
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: dgregg1987 on September 12, 2012, 12:44:35 pm
"Teacher you look very good today, what's wrong?"

Then when I was teaching the six graders for the "Would you like to come?" lesson, we were making invitations. One of the students came up to me and said...

"Teacher, would you like to come to my zombie F@#K Y@u party?" :o

I wanted to laugh but I was also shocked at the same time because my students are really low-level and have trouble telling me how they are doing.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: rocketeerjoe on September 13, 2012, 10:10:55 am
Questions from my students:

"Teacher, Japan is very very bad. They no good. Do you like Japan?"

"Are there stalkers in America? Stalkers very very bad."

"Are there gay people in California?"

That was out of nowhere. LOL, kids.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: DejaVu on September 13, 2012, 11:05:40 am
Questions from my students:

"Teacher, Japan is very very bad. They no good. Do you like Japan?"

"Are there stalkers in America? Stalkers very very bad."

"Are there gay people in California?"

That was out of nowhere. LOL, kids.

I'm curious what your answers were.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: Ramplo on September 13, 2012, 11:42:55 am
I had the students drawing outfits and writing what the girl was wearing.
One of my girls drew a mermaid (I guess from a movie or show or something...)
Well she decided to label it and asked another girl how to spell Beach Queen...

And thus, "B1tchy Queen" was born.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: rocketeerjoe on September 13, 2012, 11:48:22 am
Questions from my students:

"Teacher, Japan is very very bad. They no good. Do you like Japan?"

"Are there stalkers in America? Stalkers very very bad."

"Are there gay people in California?"

That was out of nowhere. LOL, kids.

I'm curious what your answers were.

Re: Japan they were trying to convince me Japan was evil, so I drew some percentages that said 100% and said no country is 100% good or evil, that good and evil were in every country. Their response was America very very good Japan so-so. America won the popularity contest, it seems.

I said stalkers were rare but there were some. The girl who asked me that had a cop for an uncle so she's very interested in crime rates in Korea.

Yes, yes there are.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: marshmellow man on September 13, 2012, 12:13:31 pm
Student:  "Teacher, you have a tall nose!"

The student then proceeds to point out that all the students in the class have flat noses.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: theTazz on September 14, 2012, 11:29:53 am
My 5th graders have an adorable habit of trying to explain vocab words in English.
Me: What is the moon?
S1: Night sun!
S2: Star king!

Then today with one of the 6th grade classes, a boy (cocky, a little arrogant) had mixed up the answers to question 1 and 2 on his worksheet, probably through sheer inattention (he was more focused on drawing claws on his arm in green ink). I read the question and answer back to him in exaggerated tones, hoping he'd click, but he just sat there saying "yes". So I tapped him smartly on the head with my pencil, said "No" and draw a large arrow between the two answers. As I moved away a girl from another table called me over and whispered, pointing at the boy, "Teacher...one more time."
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: hwana on September 14, 2012, 12:40:21 pm
"I said your face looks like barbeque." Another sixth grade boy when asking them to describe this picture.  :laugh:
(http://i45.tinypic.com/33dibrt.jpg)

This cracked me up! Genius.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: addeasis on September 14, 2012, 01:07:23 pm
Boy student: Teachaa, teachaa! Earring! Give me!
(hands student my feather earring)
Me: Be careful!
(Student hooks earring to his glasses and swings his head so the earring sways)
Boy student: I'M A PRETTY BOY! (pauses to swing the earring again) I'M A PRETTY BOY!
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: SBracken on September 14, 2012, 02:30:22 pm
getting 2 team names...
me: ok, how about you guys?
boy: oh teacha, super special! we are SS!
me: haha ok. what is that, some kpop song?
boy: no, we just special!
me: ok *to other team*, how about you guys?
girl: BETTER special!! we are BS!
me: *snicker*

Boy student: Teachaa, teachaa! Earring! Give me!
(hands student my feather earring)
Me: Be careful!
(Student hooks earring to his glasses and swings his head so the earring sways)
Boy student: I'M A PRETTY BOY! (pauses to swing the earring again) I'M A PRETTY BOY!
this reminds me of something that happened last year- I was wearing some feather earrings to school one day, came into class, and as expected, my middle school kiddos went nuts. the highlight though was one of my lower-level (but supersweet) boys running up and informing me that my earrings were 'angrybird!!'
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: Superchick3 on September 14, 2012, 02:57:03 pm
My students were playing a guess the place game and for Statue of Liberty my students said "Freedom Gandhi" I had to give them candy for that! :)
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: melodious on September 14, 2012, 02:57:56 pm
My Elementary School students weekend journal heading, "My mother is useless" followed by a page of why exactly she is useless. Priceless.

7 year old makes a black mark on his hand by mistake while colouring, "Look teacher! An apostraphe!"

From a friend: (her boyfriend was visiting Korea and met the students) Students were 9 years old
Student 1: Teacher, where does your boyfriend sleep? Same apartment?
Teacher: uhhhhh....
Student 2: Same room?
Teacher: uhhhh....yes....
(gasps from around the class)
Boyfriend: We have bunkbeds.
Students: Aahhhhh. ok.

My 7 year old student June had to write his name on his test. He decided to write, "June is good" but mispelt it and it came out "June is God."  Made me giggle.

Student: Teacher, I will travel in your nostril.
Me: What?
Student: It's my imagination
Me: um, ok...





Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: 한소로 on September 14, 2012, 03:15:47 pm
"Teacher! You're white, I'm black!"

...I was really confused since they are Korean students, but after they started petting my arm I realized it was arm hair. That started a whole discussion between them whether my arm hair was white or gold.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: chicagoaninkorea90 on September 14, 2012, 09:18:32 pm
"Teacher... you have BIG eyes! Like REALLY big eyes! Almost TOO BIG!"
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: tinkerbellmaggie on September 18, 2012, 03:22:40 pm
The whole cock versus coke thing :) . It makes me smile and cringe inside everytime they say it.

Student "Teacher....Candy...me"
Me: "May I have....." (looking expectantly at my 6th grader)
Student: "May I have  candy some me?" - (Student looks at me quizzically)
Me: "May I have some...?"
Student: "May I have some candy?"
Me: "Yes" - student shoots triumphant look at the student next to him!

Didn't hear but saw - T-Shirt - Money over Bitches.................................. on a 4th grader
...girl.  I still don't have the heart or energy to explain WHY this is soooo inappropriate.
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: SBracken on September 20, 2012, 02:42:39 pm
This is officially my 'most awkward moment'. Third grade middle school, co-ed. Each class, I pick one student to 'introduce' the lesson. They come to the front, read the date, what period it is, and the plan for the day, and sit back down. I just work my way down their class numbers, nothing special.

"Hellooo everyone. Ok, who do we have today... 22! Who is 22?"

Half of the classroom bursts out laughing- the half with boys. I get a chaotic outburst of the following types of 'sentences', with LOTS of hand signs, just in case I didn't understand:
'teacha, between leg!!!!!' (this was the one usually accompanied by the hand symbols)
'sex boy!!'
'boy, no class!! sit!'

preeetty sure my face turned red.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: TheEnergizer on September 27, 2012, 03:24:30 pm
Me: "Who can use animal in a sentence?"
Student: "Animal is sexy."
Me: " O_O;;...moving on!!.."
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: jenche09 on September 27, 2012, 03:30:31 pm
Me: Let's begin! Any questions?
Student: Teacher has nose job?
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: wem1830 on September 27, 2012, 05:05:29 pm
Too funny! ;D
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: bawaugh on October 04, 2012, 07:42:56 pm
Today.


Teacher: I just need your brain.
Student: I have no brain.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: TheEnergizer on October 04, 2012, 08:56:03 pm
Today.


Teacher: I just need your brain.
Student: I have no brain.

LOL
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: dash17 on October 05, 2012, 10:26:33 am
Yesterday I played scattergories with my grade 2 middle school girls. Here are some of the hilarious answers I got:

Something you watch: adult movies

Hobbies: smoking

Something you do after school: f*cking
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: Hoosier_Jedi on October 05, 2012, 12:13:21 pm
Me: Do you remember where in America I'm from?
Student: Ireland!
Me:  ???
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: bawaugh on October 05, 2012, 12:39:09 pm
Student:  "Teacher, you have a tall nose!"

The student then proceeds to point out that all the students in the class have flat noses.


At least he did not say you have a long nose.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: dachiza727 on October 05, 2012, 12:45:55 pm
(girls middle school, 2nd grade student)
background:  student is usually very cheerful and respectful, always tries her best in class, low-level english ability

during lunch break she comes to my room with a piece of paper:

student: Teacher... 미국 drama give me.
teacher: hmm, okay (i take the paper and write a few down that come to mind)
student: music 주세요
teacher: what kind? ballad, pop, hip hop....?
student: hip hop
teacher: okay (finish writing them down, pass paper back)
student: (pause) how about porn?
teacher: get out of my class!

Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: alyssa.callahan on October 05, 2012, 01:17:15 pm
Student: Teacher, good morning!
Me: Good morning.  How are you?
Student: I am pineapple!
Me: You're a pineapple?
Student: Yes!
Me: Do you mean that you like pineapples?
Student: No, teacher, I am pineapple!
Me: Okay...
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: Superchick3 on October 05, 2012, 02:40:49 pm
Teacher, you have s-line. (I had no clue what that was when my students said that)
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: stemarty on October 05, 2012, 03:08:15 pm
i drew this photo on the whiteboard and showed it to my kids during the "Giving Directions" lesson

I was explaining "it's down the street" expression.

Here is the conversation that occured between Han Null and I

Me: Ok Here I am and I want to go to the PC Bang. *Student laughter* because the PC bang is amazing!!
Han Null: OH really?!
Me: Of course! I can use this expression to explain how to find the PC Bang. I can say "The PC Bang is down the street. You can use this expression for anything. For example: My house is just down the street.
Han Null: ...you're house is the PC Bang?
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: Songwon on October 05, 2012, 03:19:21 pm
I walked into my grade one/two after-school class yesterday and was greeted with "Heyyyy, sexy lady!" by a second-grader who was also doing the Gangnam Style dance.  I don't think he actually knew what it meant...
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: Andyroo on October 05, 2012, 03:22:10 pm
Teacher, you have s-line. (I had no clue what that was when my students said that)

"Teacher Melissa has S shape. You have D shape..... but I still love you."

 :(

Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: Rhodesian on October 05, 2012, 03:26:17 pm
Teacher my friend is jombie
Me: a what?
A jombie
Me: ohh- (nervous laugh) a zombie
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: fezmond on October 06, 2012, 12:45:12 am
s: teacher he is a mother father...
me: ???
s: mother father. son of da bitch
me: oh, you mean mothe........

tried to suppress a laugh
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: 한소로 on October 10, 2012, 09:25:44 am
"Okay students, what is black, white and red all over?"
"Michael Jackson!"
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: Chicagohotdog on October 10, 2012, 10:24:51 am
"Okay students, what is black, white and red all over?"
"Michael Jackson!"

OMG, I just started laughing outloud in our silent staff office...I had to explain the joke to my KT who explained it in Korean and made everyone laugh.  Nice!
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: Oliv369 on October 10, 2012, 11:52:39 am
I'm teaching a chapter on invitations so I start with the example sentence:

Me: "Would you like to come to my party?"
Student: "No!!!"
Me: "Oh, well fine I didn't want you there anyway..." (with exaggerated acting and melodramatic voice)
Student: "Ah, wait, no! No! Yes I want to come to your party! Yes! Yes!"

Not the most hysterical thing ever but my students and I got a good laugh out of it.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: Monfab on October 10, 2012, 01:39:18 pm
I was teaching a private lesson to a kid in elementary school.

Me: So take a look at this picture. Who is he?
Student: He is s**t
Me: What?
Student: He is s**t boy. I am a s**t, you are a s**t, he is a s**t, she is a s**t.

On the upside at least his grammar was good....... :o
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: 한소로 on October 10, 2012, 02:22:14 pm
I'm sure we've all had the students who when we show pictures they are like "That is my girlfriend" "that is my house" "My grandfather"

But, today it was a little more unique. I showed a picture of Japan.

"Teacher, that is my doghouse."
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: bawaugh on October 11, 2012, 12:02:11 am
Watched a speech competition video.


Student was asked a question and said as part of her answer:


Hitler was a great man.


Opps.  ::) :'(

Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: TheEnergizer on October 11, 2012, 08:26:07 am
Me: "So how was your test?"
Student: "I'm mad. Not good."
Me: "Did you study?"
Student: "...No."
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: bawaugh on October 11, 2012, 10:33:13 pm
Me: "So how was your test?"
Student: "I'm mad. Not good."
Me: "Did you study?"
Student: "...No."


6th grade class - dictation is only used for bad students/classes.



Teacher: Who wants to do dictation?
Student - puts their hand up
Teacher: really?
Another puts their hand up as if they want to join them.
Co teacher did some quick translation for the student.
Student changes their mind.




Or something like that my memory is a little hazy.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: toulz on October 12, 2012, 02:42:16 pm
3rd grade girl:

Girl: "Wo ai ni" (means I love you in Chinese)
Me: "Ohhh ok."
Girl: "No wait! I'm not lesbian."
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: Adobe on October 12, 2012, 03:12:22 pm
Me: Where is this? (hold up picture of Vegas at night).
Ss: *silence* :blank:
S: Oh, oh, oh, Disneyland?
ME: *pretend to roll a dice*
S: Adult Disneyland?
CoT/Me:  :laugh: ;D
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: 한소로 on October 12, 2012, 03:14:25 pm
Me: What's a shadow?
Student: Colored person and Black person!
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: HunterTecherNN on October 12, 2012, 03:17:54 pm
TEACHER YOU HAVE ROUND FACE ROUND FACE, BAELEE BAELEE (trying to say very) ROUND FACE
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: jwharrison30 on October 12, 2012, 03:24:46 pm
did you have a good weekend?
no
why not?
me and jumin had a fight
oh, who won?
my mother

lol
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: Luckylinda on October 12, 2012, 06:14:10 pm
Linda Teacher I lobe you.
Why thank you!
My boyfriend lobes me too!
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: TheEnergizer on October 13, 2012, 02:47:44 pm
did you have a good weekend?
no
why not?
me and jumin had a fight
oh, who won?
my mother

lol

Doesn't the mother always win? haha
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: aschil6 on October 13, 2012, 04:37:43 pm
"Teacher, I like your dress. You can be head of ***** Style!"   :P

(*****= name of my school)
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: 한소로 on October 16, 2012, 08:51:16 am
MEe: Who painted Mona Lisa?
Student: MBLAQ!
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: Chicagohotdog on October 16, 2012, 09:10:39 am
We were playing Stop the Bus! where the students have to make a list of 5 things for whatever category.

Category: Things that make you happy.
Student: Man.
Me: Explain.
Student: Girl have man - happy.
Me: *snort*

Category: Things that make you sad.
Student: no man.
Whole class: laughs.
Same student: English.  Teachers.
Me: *pouting and wipe away fake tear*
Student: No!  Not you!
Me: *pretend to wipe their points off of the board*

Category: things you keep as pets
Student: alligator
Me: NO...

Category: Things that fly.
house fly
horse fly
dragon fly
butter fly
um...teacher...plane?

And one group kept coming up with 'beer' as an answer.  Mind you this is middle school. (Things you can't do in middle school - drink beer.  Words with four letters - beer.  Words that end in r - beer.  Beverages - beer.)

One of my favorite days here ever!
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: notinKS on October 16, 2012, 09:13:05 am
Me: Our body becomes completely new every 7 years.
Student: Nude?
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: Nivea on October 16, 2012, 09:19:43 am
One told me that she was eating lots of cherries to get bigger boobs.  :laugh: I told he it would not work and she became annoyed and said I should know about these things.  Everyone was laughing, finally another student shouted out "It's DNA, you idiot" and everyone shut up.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: marshmellow man on October 16, 2012, 09:29:29 am
In a class with eight year old students I was teaching:

*Thick vs thin
*Long vs short
*Tall vs short

Student:  "Teacher, you are thick."
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: stemarty on October 16, 2012, 07:34:33 pm
My Grade 2 middle school Student, Hero (nickname) on Giving Advice:

A: My girlfriend is angry with me. I am very sad.
B: You should go home and play with her.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: TheEnergizer on October 16, 2012, 10:16:26 pm
One told me that she was eating lots of cherries to get bigger boobs.  :laugh: I told he it would not work and she became annoyed and said I should know about these things.  Everyone was laughing, finally another student shouted out "It's DNA, you idiot" and everyone shut up.

lol
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: nicoleteacher23 on November 01, 2012, 02:58:31 pm
Me: Who is the most famous vampire?
Student: Mosquito!


Me: Who started Halloween?
Student: George Washington?

LOLLLLL
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: millionsknives on November 01, 2012, 03:25:11 pm
In the early days of this semester when I was still getting to know my 1st year high school students, one of them started asking me whether I had a girlfriend.  These being teenage boys and me being immature and liking to joke around with my students I answered his question and asked him about his girlfriend.  This eventually turned into a series of masturbation jokes with lots of pointing at his right hand and talking about his "girlfriend"

After class as the students are leaving this student walks up and puts his hand up to give me five. ( I'm forever giving five to these kids)  Anyhow as soon as I slap hands with him he says, " Hey why are you hitting my girlfriend?"  I nearly died.     :laugh:
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: teaching2012 on November 02, 2012, 10:22:59 am
Student: Teacher...hair...jajamyun (black bean noodles)
Me: My hair looks like jajamyun?!?!?!
Students: YES!
Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

(I have very curly, dark, brown hair.)
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: 한소로 on November 02, 2012, 10:45:18 am
Me: I'm hungry, what should I do?
Kid: I'd better hide my dog.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: lee233 on November 02, 2012, 11:15:37 am
I usually give out candy as a reward wor winning games, so I usually have some one me. This conversation happened at the end of the class when I had already distributed the candy tothe winners.

Student: Teacher, you very handsome. Give me candy!!!
Me: Sorry, you didn't win, so no candy.
Student: Teacher you are very ugly.  :laugh:
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: Chicagohotdog on November 02, 2012, 12:08:17 pm
I was talking to one of my higher level middle school boys and he says: Teacher, ask me 'how are you?'
Me: Alright, how are you?
Student: Teacher, I'm pineapple.
Me: Pineapple?
Student: Yes pineapple - I want to be a pineapple.

Then they looked proud and walked away without giving me a shot to say anything else.

It took me a second and then I started laughing and couldn't stop for a moment...
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: tipani on November 02, 2012, 12:11:16 pm
I usually give out candy as a reward wor winning games, so I usually have some one me. This conversation happened at the end of the class when I had already distributed the candy tothe winners.

Student: Teacher, you very handsome. Give me candy!!!
Me: Sorry, you didn't win, so no candy.
Student: Teacher you are very ugly.  :laugh:

Lol, I do the same thing.

Students: Oppa Candy style...Hey sexy lady, op op op oppa candy style.  ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: NadiaQ on November 02, 2012, 03:02:28 pm
In the early days of this semester when I was still getting to know my 1st year high school students, one of them started asking me whether I had a girlfriend.  These being teenage boys and me being immature and liking to joke around with my students I answered his question and asked him about his girlfriend.  This eventually turned into a series of masturbation jokes with lots of pointing at his right hand and talking about his "girlfriend"

After class as the students are leaving this student walks up and puts his hand up to give me five. ( I'm forever giving five to these kids)  Anyhow as soon as I slap hands with him he says, " Hey why are you hitting my girlfriend?"  I nearly died.     :laugh:

Shouldn't have read this at work. I am crying right now. Seriously, that student is awesome.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: kmark on November 02, 2012, 03:18:12 pm
Speaking test:

Question: Who do you respect the most? Why?

Student: I respect my parents. Because they lay me.
Me: Excuse me?
Student: I respect my parents. Because they lay me!
Me: Sorry I couldn't understand you.  Because why?
Student: (screaming) I respect my parents because they LAY me!
Me: OK. Really, that's not OK, but I accept your answer.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: assah on November 02, 2012, 03:43:47 pm
The students don't have their phones taken away in the beginning of the day so I'm constantly taking them throughout the class if they're looking at them.

I took one kid's phone and immediately spotted a kid across the room playing a game. When I took the other kid's phone a student shouted:

"Aw teacher, Double Kill!"

I ended up taking two others which led to "Triple Kill"! "Quadruple Kill!"
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: miss_cho on November 02, 2012, 03:59:04 pm
Today in class
Student: Teacher, today you look pretty.
Me: Just today?!
Student: Yes.
Me: Eee?! Geez, thanks.
(The student turns to his friends and they speak for a minute and then turns back to me)
Student: No teacher, every day! Every day!

Later on in class a student made an ero joke and so I corrected him and taught him the word porn.
The same student as before loudly announces - "teacher, I like porn. I really really like American porn movies."

Later on while I'm teaching class I hear yell "teacher, do you like porn?!"

Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: stemarty on November 02, 2012, 05:17:02 pm
A: Im really upset because I don't like you. What should I do?
B: You should kiss me.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: marshmellow man on November 16, 2012, 07:00:43 am
The following discussion occurred the day after I had accidentally discovered and eaten gopchang at a local restaurant.

Teacher to students:  Last night I tried gopchang.  It tasted horrible.  Do you like gopchang?

Student: No, I like makchang.

Teacher: Makchang! What is makchang?

Student: Gopchang’s brother.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: septeacher on November 16, 2012, 07:22:21 am
The students don't have their phones taken away in the beginning of the day so I'm constantly taking them throughout the class if they're looking at them.

I took one kid's phone and immediately spotted a kid across the room playing a game. When I took the other kid's phone a student shouted:

"Aw teacher, Double Kill!"

I ended up taking two others which led to "Triple Kill"! "Quadruple Kill!"

Too much League of Legends lol.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: stemarty on November 16, 2012, 09:04:52 am
Me: Do you know my nickname?
Student: SPAGHETTI !!

(my name is stephanie so it kinda works)
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: SMOE NSET on November 16, 2012, 02:42:39 pm
The 6th graders just finished giving their speech contest. During the writing process, I had to check all of their speeches for errors. One of the speeches explained how the Christmas tree is originally from Korea and that German missionaries took the idea back to Germany after they visited Korea. They even call the trees Korean Firs in Germany.

The next time I saw them I asked their source and they said many websites said this. I said it was definitely wrong as the Christmas tree was used for pagan ceremonies before even Jesus was born. They said no, people learned it wrong and that Korea started the tradition. I then said that I lived in Germany for a little bit and never heard it called by a Korean fir. They said they must have changed it. Stubborn little girls and they even lived in Canada/the U.S.A. for a few years. Needless to say but they didn't end up changing their speech.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: aisy on November 17, 2012, 12:32:29 am
"Teacher, why you have fur on your arms? are you bear?"
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: Chicagohotdog on November 20, 2012, 09:56:22 am
"Teacher, why you have fur on your arms? are you bear?"

I get this. I've been here for the entire school year and I STILL get this.  They pet me too.




Anyway: I was working with my 3rd year high schoolers.  We did a lesson on superstitions last week so this week I had them create posters to teach people about superstitions.  My co made the groups and I noticed that all groups but one had at least one higher level students. 

I went to help that lower level and they were trying to figure out how to say a Korean superstition in English.

Student: "Teacher....fire *looks at translation on his phone* mischief...next day...pee."
Me:  Um...what about pee?
Student: Teacher!  Pee!  *shouts this very loudly and the whole class turns to watch*
Me: Okay, try again. 
Student: No teacher, Changee - new 'stition. *waved at me to go away so they can come up with a new idea*

They finally did come up with one and surprisingly their grammar was spot on - and I knew they weren't just copying their phones because I saw the translation on the phone and it was wrong so they had to re-work it so that it actually made sense.  Good for them!
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: jaysoon17 on November 23, 2012, 10:04:40 am
One of my male students told me during a speaking test, “My favorite teacher is you. You tall, beautiful, have good body and beautiful golden brown skin. You is sexy, and I love teacher.”
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: Bryanth29 on November 23, 2012, 03:02:32 pm
I was sitting at my desk during the break. While I was looking out the window, one of my 5th grade Elementary boys reached down the back of my shirt.  I turned around to see the entire class watching him do this.

Me: What are you doing?!
Another Student: Teacher. Face black. Arms black. No shirt, no pants.  Black??
Me: Yes, all black. (While trying to hold back from laughing)

They still tried to check for the rest of that week.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: nermal on November 29, 2012, 10:30:04 am
Teacher!! I love you!! I am liar!! Bye!!
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: purpleradish on November 29, 2012, 11:57:41 am
I was talking to one of my higher level middle school boys and he says: Teacher, ask me 'how are you?'
Me: Alright, how are you?
Student: Teacher, I'm pineapple.
Me: Pineapple?
Student: Yes pineapple - I want to be a pineapple.

Then they looked proud and walked away without giving me a shot to say anything else.

It took me a second and then I started laughing and couldn't stop for a moment...

I don't get it. What did he mean to say instead of "pineapple"?

Pretty sure he was making a joke. "I'm fine--> I'm PINEapple."

+100 points for the middle school kid.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: purpleradish on November 29, 2012, 12:02:12 pm
One told me that she was eating lots of cherries to get bigger boobs.  :laugh: I told he it would not work and she became annoyed and said I should know about these things.  Everyone was laughing, finally another student shouted out "It's DNA, you idiot" and everyone shut up.

Hahaha that is awesome. My favorite post yet.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: notinKS on November 30, 2012, 09:45:48 am
While working through an idioms lesson:

Me: What do you think "horsing around" means?
Student: GANGNAM STYLE!
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: Oliv369 on November 30, 2012, 11:03:47 am
In 6th grade I'm teaching a chapter on Chuseok and Thanksgiving and the students have fun switching the key words around to make sentences that don't make sense.

Me: What do you eat on Thanksgiving?
Student: I eat my family on Thanksgiving!

Me: Who do you visit on Chuseok?
Student: Songpyeon!
Me: You visit songpyeon??
Student: Yes.

They get a chuckle out of it, and I like that they're being clever with the vocab.
Also when a student forgets their textbook I usually comment on it when I walk aronud the room, asking where it is and telling them to bring it next time. Usually the answers are something like "It's at home." or "I don't know. Sorry." but today I got a new one:

Me: Where's your book?
Student: He stole it! *points to my Co-teacher*
Me (playing along): Really? That's terrible!
Student: Yes! Terrible! He STOLE it!
Me: Well, bring your book next time.
Student: I can't. He steal it!
Me: Get another one then.
Student: Noooooo!

Frankly I was surprised to hear such a creative answer since that student usually isn't very communicative in class.  :cheesy:
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: purpleradish on November 30, 2012, 11:06:24 am
(Walking around listening to 6th graders do survey activity)

S1: What do you want to do when you grow up?
S2: I want to be President!
S3: I want to be a singer.
S4 (on basketball team, naughty kid): ... I want to be a player.

I giggled and told my coteacher: "I think he meant basketball player. We should teach the students that "player" means bad boy or 날라리."

My coteachers says, "I already did."
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: Harpoinseoul on December 01, 2012, 11:28:49 pm
Last week, my uni. girls were watching Penn & Teller's BS TV Show on bottled water. During the discussion afterward about the advantages & disadvantages of tap water & bottled water, one of the girls talked about drinking toilet water. I laughed until I cried!
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: stemarty on December 02, 2012, 12:45:09 pm
I recently made my students create comic books and for one of the groups I was sitting with them and trying to get them to explain the story to me in broken English.

This is all I could get out of Mingi:
Listen carfeully..caseun...pee....poo.....cellphone.....case....woooooshhh....case...underwater city.

I knew that Mingi was a whitty kid and this story would be hilarious...but he was making NO sense when talking to me.
So I took their story (written in Korean) and gave it to my co-teacher to translate at lunch time.

Turns out its a science fiction story about a boy named jae-un who goes to the bathroom to take a number 2. He drops his cellphone into the toilet. AS he reaches in to grab the cellphone he is sucked into the toilet, ends up in the ocean, and has to kill a bunch of robots to reach an underwater city.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: timephone on December 02, 2012, 01:34:04 pm
At my boys middle school we were working on the phrase: "I'm looking for the ______" / "Where can I find them?" and how to answer it.

On the bomb game we were playing I showed a picture of a guy unsheathing a samurai sword. Text reads "Where can I find the weapons?" One student answers: "America".
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: Harpoinseoul on December 02, 2012, 09:27:33 pm
Last week, my uni. girls were watching Penn & Teller's BS TV Show on bottled water. During the discussion afterward about the advantages & disadvantages of tap water & bottled water, one of the girls talked about drinking toilet water. I laughed until I cried!

And what were the advantages of drinking toilet water?
She meant to say tap water.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: CMTC on December 04, 2012, 11:18:36 am
Lesson 13 6th Grade- What do you want to be?

KT: Who want's to be a fashion model?
Me: Me, me I am gorgeous!
Student: No teacher you are fashion terrorist!
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: ladysearah on December 04, 2012, 11:29:30 am
During a PowerPoint about Konglish words...

Me: So in Korean this is a "range-ee". In English we say...any ideas?
Student: We say fire box?
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: karenology on December 04, 2012, 12:59:55 pm
When teaching various illnesses, I had a slide featuring a pumpkin throwing up (always gets a ton of laughs each year I teach it).  The students almost never know the words "throw up" or "vomit," volunteering "오바이트!" or "overeat" or whatever.  I kept trying to reveal the vocabulary but the students would stop me, saying "no Teacher, we know!" as if they could just magic the answer from thin air or something. 

Finally, after the random guessing frenzy had largely died down, one student in the back calmly stood up and declared: "Teacher, I know.  Return poop!"
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: Superchick3 on December 05, 2012, 11:57:46 am
I asked my students what language do they speak in Mexico. All week long I was getting Mexican. Friday.... one student confidently says "Nacho!"
WOW!
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: stemarty on December 05, 2012, 12:52:50 pm
I had a grade 2 student come to me this afternoon (right after P.E. Exam) and ask me:
 
Tae Hun: "Do you know young eim?" (english teacher)
Me: Yes
Tae Hun: She is skeletor 
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: Morticae on December 05, 2012, 02:12:05 pm
A student was on the floor. I asked him what was wrong. Another student walked over and told me, "he was hit in the boy treasure."
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: stemarty on February 07, 2013, 03:33:58 pm
A question on a personality test I did with my Grade 9's
Question: how long do you chew a piece of gum for?
 ( It's meaning: How long can you kiss for? )
 Best Answer: Until that sweet sweet good taste goes away
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: newb on February 07, 2013, 03:39:06 pm
Me:  "You're an idiot!" >:(
Student:  "Thank you, teacher." ;D
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: Nivea on February 07, 2013, 05:36:07 pm
One of my students thought it was funny to tell me that one of their classmates is an "alcoholic"...she's told me this various times.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: GoCyclones on February 07, 2013, 05:37:37 pm
Hadn't seen this university student in 3 years. 

She bumps into me in the stairwell and says, "Oh, teacher... what happened?  You used to be so handsome... now you look like an uncle!"

Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: stemarty on February 07, 2013, 08:11:59 pm
OH! So stylish today!! You look like an undergraduate student who doesnt care about her appearance. Your glasses make you look like an academia.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: bammertheblue on February 07, 2013, 09:16:49 pm
Julie is in grade 3 of elementary, but her English is great. She was answering a question about her future career. (She wants to be a germ researcher.)

Julie: "I want to have a germy career."

The other one I get a lot, from mostly younger students, is "Teacher, you have baby hair!" My hair is fine, blonde, and curly...but I don't know why that means "baby" hair. I've even asked some of my 6th graders and they weren't sure either.

Oh yeah, and from a writing assignment. Jack is in grade 6 of elementary. He writes, "When I am late to class it will be oh my god." I don't know why, but that cracks me up every time.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: FalseFace on February 08, 2013, 07:47:16 am
One time I said a joke, one student replied and this conversation happened:

Student: Oh my god!
Me: There is no god; only me
Student: I'm Jesus
Me: Then why are you at a Korean high school?
Student: For the experience

I died.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: alexc2000 on February 08, 2013, 02:26:27 pm
There is a 5th grade boy who says "one dollar please" in a funny matter.

One of the 4th grade boys said, "He is Japan teacher." after I mentioned I came from America.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: Jrong on February 08, 2013, 02:38:58 pm
This is one I get a lot and it's always funny how predictable things are.

Me: Open your books.
Student: NO!  >:(
Me:  :laugh:  :laugh:  :laugh:  OK  (*start clicking minus points on the scoreboard, student scurries to open their book)

Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: OneVurfedGwrx on February 08, 2013, 03:07:26 pm
After coming in from a little walk out in a chilly wind yesterday, one of the sweeter 5th. grade girls asks me in all innocence, "술 먹었어요?" (Have you drank some alcohol?).  After my negative, I get asked "Soju?" just to be sure, before I explain that the wind is a little cold today.

(the amusing part was the way she asked this as if it was perfectly normal for the teachers to go out and drink enough alcohol to go red in the face over lunch-time)
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: alexc2000 on February 10, 2013, 03:21:24 pm
There was a 1st grade boy whose incoherent babbling was interesting. He had attention problems but he was able to imitate my voice and pronunciation perfectly.

A few of the 3rd grade girls like to send me text messages. One of them just sends me random letters.
As for another 3rd grade girl, I accidentally confused her into thinking that the sentence "Who is this?" was a greeting. It began with her sending me a message. I wasn't sure who sent me the message so I asked for the identity by writing "Who is this?" :huh:

There was a 3rd grade boy who likes to try to get me to dismiss class five minutes earlier. At the beginning, he said "time to to" when he wrote down the new time to dismiss class. He probably meant "time to go." He still insisted on ending the class early even when I said the dismissal time in Korean. :laugh:
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: bammertheblue on February 10, 2013, 06:11:09 pm
Some of my kids were teaching me about the superstition behind the number 4. These kids are about 8-10 years old (Western years). Anyway, they told me "Four means you will DIE!" So I feigned horror and told them "Oh no! I live on the fourth floor! Will I die?"

Answer?

"No, teacher! You are not Korean!"

I guess the number four is only fatal to Koreans.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: echo on February 13, 2013, 01:49:16 pm
I'm not the best story teller but I'll do my best to relay a story that one of my students told me.

Yesterday at my academy I was asking my kids how their Solar holiday was. One of the middle school boys tells me about his experience.

He went out to countryside to visit his grandparents, who lived on a farm. Being the only grandson in the family, he got bored and went out in the back and started harassing one of the cows. His oblivious grandmother comes out to feed the cow. As she nears the front of the cow, he boots the cow in the rear and the cow charges his grandmother. She gets knocked on her back and has her head cut open a little.

Out of panic, my student runs in the house and tells Grandpa that Grandma was hurt. After assessing the situation, Grandpa immediately becomes full of rage and ties up the cow in the barn and knocks it with a hammer, all this happening so close to my student that blood was splattering on his face.

When I asked him why he didn't my tell his grandpa what he did, he casually says "It's no problem, we got to eat cow that night!"
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: Selah on February 13, 2013, 02:46:17 pm
We are playing a taboo-like guessing game, and once a student gets the answer, I tell him or her to "pick someone and switch." This was going fine until one student picked me, which meant I told him to take over running the game (since it was set up, all he had to do was verify answers). I answered correctly on the first try (one of the perks of creating the game is knowing the answers ... bwahahaha) but he wasn't ready to give up the leadership role. He mimicked my voice perfectly as he said, "Teacher, now pick someone and switch."
Recently I came to school without straightening my hair first. One of my 8th graders asked me, "Teacher, do you know that your head exploded?"
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: klwilson21 on February 13, 2013, 03:25:54 pm
I'm not the best story teller but I'll do my best to relay a story that one of my students told me.

Yesterday at my academy I was asking my kids how their Solar holiday was. One of the middle school boys tells me about his experience.

He went out to countryside to visit his grandparents, who lived on a farm. Being the only grandson in the family, he got bored and went out in the back and started harassing one of the cows. His oblivious grandmother comes out to feed the cow. As she nears the front of the cow, he boots the cow in the rear and the cow charges his grandmother. She gets knocked on her back and has her head cut open a little.

Out of panic, my student runs in the house and tells Grandpa that Grandma was hurt. After assessing the situation, Grandpa immediately becomes full of rage and ties up the cow in the barn and knocks it with a hammer, all this happening so close to my student that blood was splattering on his face.

When I asked him why he didn't my tell his grandpa what he did, he casually says "It's no problem, we got to eat cow that night!"

OMG!!!!! That story is so messed up!
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: Aristotle100 on February 13, 2013, 03:28:17 pm
Talking with some students before class and the topic is food

Student "teacher I had penis last night with ice cream!"

Me "You had what now? Ummm"

Student gets out his phone shows me a picture of peanuts

Me " Wow...I think we should have a class today on practicing pronunciation"
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: bammertheblue on February 14, 2013, 07:47:23 pm
I'm not the best story teller but I'll do my best to relay a story that one of my students told me.

Yesterday at my academy I was asking my kids how their Solar holiday was. One of the middle school boys tells me about his experience.

He went out to countryside to visit his grandparents, who lived on a farm. Being the only grandson in the family, he got bored and went out in the back and started harassing one of the cows. His oblivious grandmother comes out to feed the cow. As she nears the front of the cow, he boots the cow in the rear and the cow charges his grandmother. She gets knocked on her back and has her head cut open a little.

Out of panic, my student runs in the house and tells Grandpa that Grandma was hurt. After assessing the situation, Grandpa immediately becomes full of rage and ties up the cow in the barn and knocks it with a hammer, all this happening so close to my student that blood was splattering on his face.

When I asked him why he didn't my tell his grandpa what he did, he casually says "It's no problem, we got to eat cow that night!"

That's AWESOME. I love your student.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: stemarty on March 07, 2013, 11:20:23 am
Me and my student VIA text message:

Me: Min-Su, I have something for you. Message me on Friday moring to help me remember to bring it to you.

Min-Su: I hope its something that I can eat.

Me: I wouldn't eat it ;)

Min-Su: Hot damn!
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: apiland67 on March 07, 2013, 01:29:23 pm
Before winter break I was doing doing a lesson comparing U.S. and Korean elections. Everything was going fine (other them being bored) until I had individual students repeating sentences. I got to one student and asked him to say the sentence I gave him.

Student: Romney lost the erection.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: acostello on March 07, 2013, 02:33:04 pm
My two favorite quotes so far (my students are high school boys):

"Teacher, do you like black men?"

"Teacher! Your boots! Very sexy!"
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: new-waygook on March 07, 2013, 02:36:19 pm
3rd grade Elementary boy.

It was lunch time and when I walked pasted him he yelled, "Teacher!  Look!" then proceeded to do a model pose before smacking his own ass.  He is 10...   
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: TheEnergizer on March 07, 2013, 02:54:57 pm
"What do you want to be when you grow up?"
"A bus."
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: ritum on March 07, 2013, 02:58:59 pm
I have a student who speaks NO English, and every time I see him in the hallway he yells out "Heyyyy sexy lady!" haha... oh the things they learn!
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: salambander on March 07, 2013, 04:47:37 pm
"I want to learn English so I can invade America."
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: wrinklebump on March 07, 2013, 05:00:24 pm
Me, interrupting obviously filthy convo between five or so HS boys: Are you talking about porn?

HS Kid: Teacher. Japan man very crazy, but very many power. Long time.

Me: So you're watching Japanese porn already. That's pretty wild stuff for 16-year olds.

Kid: Teacher.

Me: What?

Kid: Teacher, you. *pantomimes wild masturbation* Many white water?

My back hurt from laughing so hard.

Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: stemarty on March 07, 2013, 09:27:48 pm
"What do you want to be when you grow up?"
"A bus."

I had a kid say the EXACT same thing to me. Then he drew a red bus.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: scottab123 on March 19, 2013, 03:42:51 pm
When I get a new class, I do introduction stuff and I usually end with letting them ask questions.  This hasn't gotten me in trouble yet, but here's the best Q&A so far:

Student:  Are you married?
Me: Yes, I am.
Student:  Do you have kids?
Me: No, I don't.
Student:  Why not?
Me: (back-peddling because we're not sure we will have children, which can't be explained to Koreans) Well, we were both in university when we got married and didn't have the time or money.  Now we're not sure if we want to have children when we're away from America.
Student:  What?
Me: We are busy.
Student:  Teacher, every night?

Everyone laughed, including me.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: anna.rpo on March 19, 2013, 03:51:22 pm
This morning - 'Anna, are you Superman? Are you Wonder Woman?'

After 25 minutes of wtf, I realised I was wearing bright yellow tights and standing with my hands on my hips, superhero-style.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: nschenk512 on March 19, 2013, 05:07:42 pm
These both happened in my elementary school Saturday SAM classes.

I'm teaching them improv comedy, so they need to know a lot of description words, like big, small, heavy, light, and how to use them. So I'm going over these words and asking "Tell me something that is ____" I'm working on big, and I get cars, elephants, and then this gem from my most outspoken 4th grader.

Student: Teacher is big!

I lost it. I had to sit down at my desk for a second to laugh, but I did tell him that that was very good, because I mean, compared to a 4th grader, I am big.

Later that day, I had them doing silent impressions. I made sure to give a boy the "Girl" impression, and he responded by gyrating his hips and going "ooh". He's in the third grade.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: stemarty on March 20, 2013, 10:30:10 am
Hero: I'm sorry I cant be in class today. I have to help my dog make a baby.
Me: ....... I'm sorry? Make a baby?
Hero: Yes. She is making babies right now!
Me: You mean she is pregant and is giving birth?
Hero: Yes! I must help her!!

I died.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: TheEnergizer on March 20, 2013, 10:38:22 am
Studying "How often do you..." and students had to write what they did everyday, once a week, once or twice a month, once or twice a year, and never...

Me: "What do you do everyday?"
Student: "Take a shower."
Me: "Once a week?"
Student: "Study."
Me: "Once or twice a month?"
Student: "Go to the movies."
Me: "Once or twice a year."
Student: "Clean my room."
Me: "What do you never do?"
Student: "Go to the hell."

http://www.eslfunnies.com/2013/03/ill-never-go-to-hell.html
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: tausha12 on March 20, 2013, 10:52:34 am
Me, interrupting obviously filthy convo between five or so HS boys: Are you talking about porn?

HS Kid: Teacher. Japan man very crazy, but very many power. Long time.

Me: So you're watching Japanese porn already. That's pretty wild stuff for 16-year olds.

Kid: Teacher.

Me: What?

Kid: Teacher, you. *pantomimes wild masturbation* Many white water?

My back hurt from laughing so hard.

oh wow, that made my day.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: dyst0pian on March 20, 2013, 10:54:17 am
"Teacher... my favourite animals are humans."

Deep.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: sammyjoonhee on March 20, 2013, 10:57:18 am
Student 1: Teacher your a girl!!!!!

Me: Ummm ok sure why not..

Student 2: NO, he isn't....

Student 1: Ok, then prove it teacher!!!

Me: Ok this conversation is over

Student 2: TEACHER I KNOW YOU HAVE TWO COCONUTS AND A MUSHROOM...

Me: OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG Why would you say that......
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: johnny russian on March 20, 2013, 10:58:04 am
Make your own superhero (high school)

hero: Kimchiman
power: fermented breath
weakness: toothpaste
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: miljennifer on March 20, 2013, 12:21:18 pm
After showing a pic of me that's about 2 years old with a different hairstyle and no glasses during my self-introduction PPT:

Student (pointing at photo on screen): Teacher? That you?

Me: Yes, that's me.

Student: Teacher. Plastic surgery?

Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: desert_sugi on March 20, 2013, 12:48:37 pm
we were talking about our favorite food/drinks.

HS grade 1 all girls school

me: What is your favorite drink?

student: sex on the beach



I laughed so hard I cried!
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: river on March 20, 2013, 01:17:33 pm
during lunch break she comes to my room with a piece of paper:

student: Teacher... 미국 drama give me.
teacher: hmm, okay (i take the paper and write a few down that come to mind)
student: music 주세요
teacher: what kind? ballad, pop, hip hop....?
student: hip hop
teacher: okay (finish writing them down, pass paper back)
student: (pause) how about porn?
teacher: get out of my class!

HAHAHA u just completely killed me  :laugh:
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: waltre on March 20, 2013, 01:31:39 pm
Every time there is a picture of a black man as a visual aid in my powerpoints:

Random student: Ohhhh! Obama!
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: TheEnergizer on March 21, 2013, 09:49:25 am
Me: "What do you do everyday?"
Student: "Take a shower."
Me: "What do you never do?"
Student: "Go to a gay bar."
Me: "....what?"
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: cajunaggie87 on March 21, 2013, 11:05:59 am
Me: "Class, do you have any questions about me or my country?"
Student: "Do American men like big butts?"
Student: "Is your beard real?"
Student: "Do you know Obama?"

Student:"Do you have kids?"
Me: "No, we do not have any kids."
Student:"When?"
Me: "Much later."
Student: "Hurry up!"
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: cajunaggie87 on March 21, 2013, 11:08:33 am
For my first lesson when I introduce myself, I always show a picture of 3 of my best friends. One of my friends has the exact same name as me (and he is a big guy), so before I tell them his name, I ask them to guess what his name is. Every single time, at least one student says some variation of "Fatty" or "Big guy" or "Fatso."
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: dmw on March 21, 2013, 11:26:00 am
One time I said a joke, one student replied and this conversation happened:

Student: Oh my god!
Me: There is no god; only me
Student: I'm Jesus
Me: Then why are you at a Korean high school?
Student: For the experience

I died.

Absolutely brilliant !!!!!  ;D
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: aklimkewicz on April 01, 2013, 02:49:58 pm
Today I was walking about the playground area chatting with the students who would walk up to me. One of my middle school first years walked up and said, "We do not communication," and then walked away. I just want to communication with these students!
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: Redondo on April 03, 2013, 09:45:36 am
I was teaching grade 5 yesterday, and one of the character's name's in the book is betty. The student kept calling her panty. He knows what it means ( I have no idea how), and he kept ''panty for the next 5 minutes. I acted harsh with him and he stopped, but I think he saw me cracking up at him.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: Jrong on April 03, 2013, 09:50:57 am
I was teaching grade 5 yesterday, and one of the character's name's in the book is betty. The student kept calling her panty. He knows what it means ( I have no idea how), and he kept ''panty for the next 5 minutes. I acted harsh with him and he stopped, but I think he saw me cracking up at him.
What is up w panty?

My students at both schools love saying that word. Must be a part of child pop culture bc of some commercial or something.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: timephone on April 03, 2013, 10:27:06 am
I was teaching grade 5 yesterday, and one of the character's name's in the book is betty. The student kept calling her panty. He knows what it means ( I have no idea how), and he kept ''panty for the next 5 minutes. I acted harsh with him and he stopped, but I think he saw me cracking up at him.
I was teaching grade 5 yesterday, and one of the character's name's in the book is betty. The student kept calling her panty. He knows what it means ( I have no idea how), and he kept ''panty for the next 5 minutes. I acted harsh with him and he stopped, but I think he saw me cracking up at him.
What is up w panty?

My students at both schools love saying that word. Must be a part of child pop culture bc of some commercial or something.

Panty is the word Koreans use for both men's and women's underwear. It's a loan word from English.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: stemarty on April 15, 2013, 12:53:52 pm
I am good at speaking strongly because I'm not shame
I am good at eating much because I'm one of teenagers.

I want to go to USA because I want to see white man.
I want to go to Africa because I want to see black man.
I want to go to Japan because I want to see brown man.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: TheEnergizer on April 15, 2013, 06:08:32 pm
The phrase of the day was "What makes you....?"

Me: "What makes you a smart student?"
Student: "I am not smart?"
Me: "...ok what makes you strong?"
Student: "I am not strong?"
Me: "What makes you a student?"
Student: "The government."
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: aisy on April 16, 2013, 10:36:13 pm
we were talking about coffee and i asked my students if they like dog cafes. a boy said "no, because they are not delicious."
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: whitleybug on April 17, 2013, 08:19:44 am
I have 5-6 students do self-introductions at the beginning of every class. 

My student: "I'm really good at smiling. I'm really bad at mind control."
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: robvandan on April 17, 2013, 08:57:44 am
Me: Minho why are you late to class?!?

Minho: i teacher, I fell on my ass, so I hurt my ass, so my ass become dirty, so I have to wash my ass. And now I come to classroom..

Me:  :undecided: Ok. Sit down.

 :huh:
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: maykat on April 17, 2013, 10:08:48 am
Student (screaming with his head out the classroom window): I AM NATURAL HUMAN
Me: What does that mean?
Student: I.... am... natural... human.

Me: So there are no girl's sports teams at this school? What if a girl wants to play sports?
Female student: Teacher, girls don't like sports. Girls like reading and drawing.

Student (in the middle of class pulls out a long lacy ribbon and starts to wrap it around his neighbor's head)
Me: What are you doing?
Student: .... Theresa
Me: Mother Theresa?
Student: Yes teacher.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: justanotherwaygook on April 17, 2013, 10:23:20 am
I was teaching grade 5 yesterday, and one of the character's name's in the book is betty. The student kept calling her panty. He knows what it means ( I have no idea how), and he kept ''panty for the next 5 minutes. I acted harsh with him and he stopped, but I think he saw me cracking up at him.
I was teaching grade 5 yesterday, and one of the character's name's in the book is betty. The student kept calling her panty. He knows what it means ( I have no idea how), and he kept ''panty for the next 5 minutes. I acted harsh with him and he stopped, but I think he saw me cracking up at him.
What is up w panty?

My students at both schools love saying that word. Must be a part of child pop culture bc of some commercial or something.

Panty is the word Koreans use for both men's and women's underwear. It's a loan word from English.

We were on the 'Would you like to come?' lesson.  I had some students write their answers on the board.

The correct answer was, "I'm having a snack party."

The student misspelled 'snack' as 'snake' and wrote the 'r' as an 'n.'

So, he wrote, "I'm having a snake panty."

The whole class was rolling when they figured out what he wrote.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: bammertheblue on April 17, 2013, 11:11:31 am
I was teaching some very young kids the word "idea". One little boy mimed taking a huge bite of food and yelled out, "MY IDEA IS CHICKEN!"

They're always hungry when I get them!
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: BTeacher on April 17, 2013, 03:36:19 pm
T: "What did you do for summer vacation?"

S: "I missed my birthday."







 
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: newb on April 17, 2013, 06:28:00 pm
Me:  hi guys! How are you?
Students: hello teacher!  I'm ten years old.
Me:  how's the weather?
Students:  it's Monday!
Me:  What's the date today?
Students:  (Looking around puzzled ????  One student silently says "it's sunny?" And others follow) IT'S SUNNY!!!!!!
 :laugh:
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: Selah on April 19, 2013, 11:14:21 am
Student walks in with an ace bandage tied around his waist, sash-style.
Me: What happened?
He laughs, so I ask while miming: Were you shot?
Student: No, I am having baby.
Me: When are you due?
Student (looks at his watch): October.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: stemarty on April 19, 2013, 11:49:47 am
Student walks in with an ace bandage tied around his waist, sash-style.
Me: What happened?
He laughs, so I ask while miming: Were you shot?
Student: No, I am having baby.
Me: When are you due?
Student (looks at his watch): October.

that's awesome.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: aschil6 on April 19, 2013, 12:01:09 pm
We were playing a game and one team kept getting all the hard questions so at the end, one of the kids goes "Teacher, we got screwed!"
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: Elsby on April 19, 2013, 12:57:00 pm
One boy in my after school class, in third grade, constantly sings something along these  lines over and over again. "Have a nice day, have a nice body, have a nice life...."

In my third grade class we were playing a PP game where a picture of a famous person came up and the students had to say, "Hello, my name is...." A picture of Obama comes up and one the boys jumps up and shouts, "Hello! My name is Michael Jackson!" The class starts screaming at him, I just stand there laughing.

One day I came to school and a group of my 5th grade girls told me that I didn't look good today. I didn't match apparently... I walked into their classroom, these same girls came up to my co-teacher and explained it all to her to make sure she new I didn't look good. While this was going on, one of the boys came to me and told me that I looked like a grandma...
After lunch, no change in outfit or anything, I walked into a different fifth grade class and the class starts making all kinds of noise. They said, "Teacher! You look like a movie star!" "Teacher, you look like a picture!"
Lesson: Before lunch, I'm a grandma. After lunch, actress...
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: stemarty on April 19, 2013, 03:02:11 pm
Hi my name is Gwang Yeol and I am your pet.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: BTeacher on April 23, 2013, 12:29:22 pm
The other day, when I was at my computer reading this very thread, in a totally silent and nearly-empty classroom, one student who had been studying quietly asked me out of nowhere:
"Is Jesus your king?"
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: acousticr on April 23, 2013, 12:40:53 pm
We were playing the Hot Seat game (I found it somewhere on waygook, actually) where a student sits facing away from the tv and the rest of the students try to make them guess what's behind them. The picture of Barack Obama came up and all the students stared at it for a while. Finally, one of them shouted "AMERICA KING!"
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: genius_advice on April 23, 2013, 12:43:56 pm
Me: What's "despair"?
Ss: Despair is .... OTL!
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: Hyperkinesiac on April 23, 2013, 12:46:26 pm
One of my students ran up to me yesterday in the hallway as I was leaving school and said "Teacher, I have a secret!" Then he leaned in and whispered in my ear, "I AM OPTIMUS PRIME." And then said "Don't tell anyone!" and sprinted away down the hallway again.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: makeshiftb0y on April 23, 2013, 01:54:44 pm
Me: (Reading a question from the textbook) What cheers you up?

Student: My right hand.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: Chicagohotdog on April 23, 2013, 03:20:06 pm
I was reviewing prepositions today and this one group was struggling.  Basically they had to answer 'Where is Teacher?' with a specific preposition or prepositional phrase.  They had 'in front of' and apparently couldn't come up with board (the white board was about a foot behind where I was standing).  Suddenly one of the kids jumps up and looks excited.

"Teacher! You are in front of AIR!"

Which is technically true...there would definately be air behind me. 

I shook the child's hand.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: stemarty on July 01, 2013, 03:15:26 pm
a student kneels down at my desk:

"teacher. I am shamed. I tried to steal yellow nail polish for you but my sister caught me and she beat me."
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: maykat on July 04, 2013, 12:46:06 pm
Student (pointing to friend): Teacher, he is African American rapper.
Friend: Teacher, he is no panty.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: Der Lehrer on July 04, 2013, 03:15:22 pm
Every morning before we start, I ask the question..."how do you feel today?"
The other students must then share their feelings, while the rest of the class ask "why do you feel________?" This particular one went like this.

Me: How do you feel today?
Student: I feel happy today
All other students: Why do you feel happy today?
Student: I feel happy, because I am sober (looking very serious)

I will always remember this one!!!!


Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: salsil2011 on September 09, 2013, 01:24:40 pm
(In a robotic voice, similar to the one they use in the listening tests) "Hello, Nathalie! What is your name?"

"Teacher, are you married? If not, don't worry. Every Jack has his Jill" Hahahaha ;D

Aww that's so sweet!
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: salsil2011 on September 09, 2013, 01:29:40 pm
I wasn't really involved in this stream of consciousness yelled out by alternating students in my 5th grade elementary class, but it started when I walked in with a little bag of candy for a game I was going to play.

Random Student 1 "Teacher! Gimmie present!"
Random Student 2 "Gimmie present!!
Random Student 3 "Gimmie president!"
Random Student 4, thoughtfully; "George Bush was a good president."
Random Student 5, aghast; "No he wasn't!  I like Obama."


Hahaha!  O man...I want to have your students.

Lmao! Me too!
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: Chicagohotdog on September 09, 2013, 03:06:18 pm
So, with the hot weather all summer my hair has been up in a bun or pony for the last few months.  It would seem that my kids have forgotten just how long my hair is.  I walked in to class today, with my hair down and a students points at me and screams:

"Teacher!  Ghost hair!"

Because apparently I look like one of those long-haired ghosts from an Asian horror movie.

So I shoved all of my hair to cover my face and started walking around the room like a zombie and made them scream.  It was good fun actually.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: makeshiftb0y on September 10, 2013, 07:46:23 am
Practicing the expression "...do more harm than good." Here's a sentence one student came up with:

"Having time with girl can do more harm than good, because too much protein release makes us tired."

Another student wrote, "length of penis," but failed to provide a reason for why it can do more harm than good.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: stemarty on September 10, 2013, 07:51:24 am

"Having time with girl can do more harm than good, because too much protein release makes us tired."


brilliant
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: westwoods on September 10, 2013, 09:32:32 am
A group of students approached me nervously in the teacher's office (I've only been teaching at this school a week). After conferring in Korean one of them positively shouted: "Teacher! You so sexy!"I thought my co-teacher would die laughing. Another time, my class of first grade middle schoolers wanted to see a picture of me with long hair (They are very curious about my short red hair). Obligingly, I dug up a photo of myself in 8th grade, thinking they would like to see what I looked like in middle school. For a moment, they were stunned by my abundance of frizzy brown hair. And then one of my students shouted "Teacher, you like in Princess Diary, BEFORE change-y to pretty!"
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: adfletch83 on September 10, 2013, 09:41:54 am
I was doing a class on 'loanwords' (taken from here and edited) last week with 3rd grade middle school. We went though loanwords and I asked what problems North Korean defectors would have in South Korea. Then the next slide asked "Why is North Korean language different from South Korean?"

Just as I'd finished asking the question aloud, a girl shouts out at the top of her voice "long time no see!". We laughed for a solid 2 mins!
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: Wintermute on September 10, 2013, 12:44:40 pm
MR. WINTER TEACHU

ENGLISH LANGUAGY IS CELL PHONE OKAY!?!?!

KOREAN LANGUAGY IS SMART PHONE OKAY??!!?

i explained we call them smart phones in america.

OSH CHI CHA, SMART PHONE IS KOREAN WORD TEACHU.

(in fact I think it was america or UK that started the whole smart thing, i remember smart boards in class when i was a little kid and we played Oregon trail on em)
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: wgarms11 on September 10, 2013, 12:59:06 pm
Just had a student come up to me and try to give me a q-tip. Not really sure if it was used or not.  He speaks zero English but I told him "Oh, thank you, I don't want that." He then explains to me (in Korean) and pantomimes the proper procedure for cleaning one's ear with q-tips. So I just point to the trashcan. He puts it back in his pocket and says "Okay Teacher!!" and leaves.


Maybe my ears are dirty!?!? :huh: :huh:
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: borlan1 on September 10, 2013, 01:08:39 pm
I got a sunburn from being on the beach without using sunscreen.  The students kept asking me if I had been drinking soju because my face was so red.  They also kept making a one shot motion.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: Rocketman9465 on September 10, 2013, 01:34:10 pm
This isn't a student, but a superior co-worker of mine who tries really hard to learn English (I'm supposing just for the sake of knowing; he only uses it with the two native teachers here). Anyway, our conversation through messenger:

Co-Worker: "Hello! Did you have a nice lunch? Can you tell me what POOPS is?"
Me: (..........................uh) "I'm not sure. What is the context?"
Co-Worker: "If you have time, can you come to the office?"
Me:  :huh:

Actually on topic, almost none of my students have mastered the difference between "Could you do me a favor?" and "Could you do me?"
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: 한소로 on September 10, 2013, 01:42:43 pm
Written in one kid's notebook:

"I want to be: a laptop."

"I want to: tiger."
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: Mezoti97 on September 10, 2013, 02:07:55 pm
Written in one kid's notebook:

"I want to be: a laptop."

"I want to: tiger."

Not really the same, but this reminds me of two different things I witnessed students had written down on two separate occasions (one a couple of years ago at a previous school, the other last winter).

A couple of years ago, my then-6th grade students were doing a fill-in-the-blank worksheet where they had to fill in the missing verbs in different sentences, which were provided in a word bank on the worksheet. Anyhow, two of the sentences were, "I ___ my bike" and "I ___ my grandmother," the answers for which were "ride" and "visit." One kid whose English level was low wrote "ride" for the sentence, "I ___ my grandmother." What an awkward sentence to read...

Last winter, the students who visited the English Center in my town apparently did an activity where they wrote letters to Santa Claus in English asking him for the present that they wanted to get for Christmas. The letters were hanging up on the wall all around the classroom, and I noticed many of the students had written, "Dear Santa, I want to smartphone." Haha.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: westwoods on September 10, 2013, 02:10:55 pm
Teacher! She cannot work.
Why not?
Teacher! She is sick.
What is wrong?
She have... She heart... She heart have problem?
What's wrong with her heart?
Teacher! It broke!
It broke?
Boyprend broke!
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: TheEnergizer on September 10, 2013, 02:11:41 pm
Group of students followed two students into the office...

Me: "Why are you following them into the office?"
Student: "We want to see."
Me: "See what?"
Student: "They are in trouble."
Me: "Why?"
Student: "They are stupid."
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: newsarahjane on September 10, 2013, 03:25:33 pm
I may have just read through this entire thread...

My favourite experiences so far:

The grade 4 girl who motioned to her nose, then mimed it being far larger, then pointed to my nose, and said, "WHY?" She sounded so affronted...

The grade 6 boy who showed me his folder yesterday. It had "Big Bang" and "G Dragon" scrawled all over it.
Boy: Teacher, you love them.
Me: Yes, I'm a fan.
Boy: You love. So I love now too.

And, perhaps the best:
Co-teacher: Why do you like Sarah Teacher?
Boy (in Korean): She smiles!
Girl (in English): Other English teacher smiled, but he man. Sarah teacher woman.
Boy (in English): Much better.
(All students nod very seriously.)
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: Fanwarrior on September 10, 2013, 03:50:54 pm
Quote
One kid whose English level was low wrote "ride" for the sentence, "I ___ my grandmother." What an awkward sentence to read...
Why? I see lots of grandparents giving piggyback rides to their grandchildren.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: cccosmonaut on September 10, 2013, 07:32:00 pm
today's experience with allowing my high school boys to make their own requests:

"could i marry you?"
"could you change your face please?"
"would it be okay if i killed you?"

and my personal favorite...

"would it be okay if i ate your cat?" (insert the snickering of the 2-3 high level boys who understand the dirty connotations of "cat")
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: gclancy on September 11, 2013, 07:52:45 am
Written in one kid's notebook:

"I want to be: a laptop."

"I want to: tiger."

Not really the same, but this reminds me of two different things I witnessed students had written down on two separate occasions (one a couple of years ago at a previous school, the other last winter).

A couple of years ago, my then-6th grade students were doing a fill-in-the-blank worksheet where they had to fill in the missing verbs in different sentences, which were provided in a word bank on the worksheet. Anyhow, two of the sentences were, "I ___ my bike" and "I ___ my grandmother," the answers for which were "ride" and "visit." One kid whose English level was low wrote "ride" for the sentence, "I ___ my grandmother." What an awkward sentence to read...

Last winter, the students who visited the English Center in my town apparently did an activity where they wrote letters to Santa Claus in English asking him for the present that they wanted to get for Christmas. The letters were hanging up on the wall all around the classroom, and I noticed many of the students had written, "Dear Santa, I want to smartphone." Haha.

On a similar note, when I was correcting a student's diary I happend across this gem

"I rode my dad and another man."

I wept with laughter.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: stemarty on September 11, 2013, 09:23:58 am
A bonus question in a game:

Q: What special equipment do you need when you jump out of an airplane to land safely?

A: Wings.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: KirbyOwnz on September 12, 2013, 12:29:37 pm
Me: (Reading a question from the textbook) What cheers you up?

Student: My right hand.

Did you give him a congratulatory high five after?
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: amgoalng on September 30, 2013, 08:48:57 am
This is not something a student said to me directly.  However, I thought it was too funny.

I gave my students a word, they had to say the first thing that came to their mind, flower: bee, war: gun, etc.  I told my students the word Korea, one student replied, "Dog meat." 
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: weigookin74 on September 30, 2013, 09:22:14 am
Kids fight with each other and insult each other in English to me.  They say many funny and strange thing, such as:

"He Taliban."

"He ..uh... Mental Disease."

"She nabeun saram."

"He .. Kim Jong Un."

"She ...uh... stoopid-eu." 
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: stemarty on November 11, 2013, 09:52:27 am
Min-Su: Teacher! I found this amazing new American cartoon that I love watching.
Me: ....what is it? (I thought he finally discovered south park or something)
Min-Su: My little Pony!
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: theTazz on November 11, 2013, 12:03:37 pm
Not to me but to my waygookin colleague (there are two of us because it's a huge school):

"Teacher, school kimchi is so bad. School kimchi is made in China!"

It really is that terrible. Actually, the entire lunch menu at our school ranges from pretty awful to just ok. It's free for the students but the teachers (as far as I know) pay.

Another 6th grade student, pondering this state of affairs:

"Maybe if we pay for school lunch, we get better food."

Well, quite.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: Engrish on November 13, 2013, 08:00:07 pm
During a game of hot seat when the picture/word was "Youtube".

A cute tiny middle school girl shouts "Redtube friend!"

My heart stopped for a good five seconds...and then another student shouted "Comedy video, music video website!"

Phew.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: TheEnergizer on November 13, 2013, 08:15:29 pm
During a game of hot seat when the picture/word was "Youtube".

A cute tiny middle school girl shouts "Redtube friend!"

My heart stopped for a good five seconds...and then another student shouted "Comedy video, music video website!"

Phew.

LOL
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: oatmealkooky on November 13, 2013, 08:33:18 pm
I like elementary, especially third grade, especially the girls. They're so goofy and always chipper. When they come into class it's like someone just tipped over a box of feisty kittens.

Anyway, a third-grade girl ran up to me in the hallway the other day during milk time and loudly declared "TEACHER, MILK...UM... HAPPY NA-HYUN... ALL!" and made a head-to-toe gesture to illustrate. It was adorable, and it was immutable scientific fact.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: Engrish on November 15, 2013, 05:02:41 pm
Got another one, not really funny, but I had one student tell me today that "Schindler's List is a South Korean story"

wat?

I didn't even know where to begin with that one, so I just did a slow motion facepalm...
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: stemarty on November 25, 2013, 09:11:18 am
While trying to explain "please give me some advice" I wrote on the board another synonym for advice (help) like this:

please give me some h __ __ __.

One kid belted out (really excited) "please give me some head!"
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: BTeacher on November 25, 2013, 11:07:43 am
My co-T showed a music video "Everything At Once" which features some attractive women dancing, but nothing inappropriate, I think.

After watching it, one of the grade 6 boys told me:
"Teacher, ruler up! This video give me ruler up!"
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: Rocketman9465 on December 12, 2013, 02:43:19 pm
So, I was teaching a lesson about big numbers because my students all completely shut down when I ask them to read a number over 100. It's also important to know that I'm a little chunky. I'm overweight but not morbidly so (except by Korean standards).

I had a really big number written on the board. The highest I went was billions I think.

I asked my students how to read this number and that one sassy kid at the front looks at me, looked my dead in the eyes, and says "Teacher's calories." -___________-

I'm writing this story as I eat a pancake that my students made for me lol
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: cjszk on December 12, 2013, 03:32:58 pm
One of my third graders was under the impression that I flew in from the United States every day to show up for work.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: drgenderpotato on December 20, 2013, 03:47:58 pm
5TH GRADE BOY: Teacher! I am gay!
ME: Wow, really?
BOY: Yes, yes! I am very very gay all the time!
ME: Hunh. Okay.
BOY: Are you surprised?
ME: No.
(Boy stares at me with mouth open as his friend falls down laughing.)


ME: "What does Santa Claus do?"
4TH GRADE BOY: "He kills children."
ME: "Are you sure?"
4TH GRADE BOY: "Yes, he kills every student and girl and boy and baby! WITH A GUN!"
ME: "But there aren't any guns in Korea."
4TH GRADE BOY: "He's American."


(During a game of Speed Quiz, the picture being "mouse")
6TH GRADE GIRL: "Uhhh, cheese friend!"
BOY: "No, cheese V.S.!"


A 5th grade boy walked up to me and proudly handed me a piece of paper, on which was written "Shut the ****"
I just gave it back to him and said, "That's incorrect" in a bored tone of voice.
His face fell. I guess he was expecting a bigger reaction?
Later that day, he came in and handed me another piece of paper. This one said "I Love You."


5TH GRADE BOY: "Teacher, I want to go to American school."
ME: "Why?"
BOY: "Uhhh...I can eat many delicious things, and no academy!"
GIRL: *very seriously* "No, you will go to jail."


One of my third graders has been running around screaming "TAKAI DESU NE" for the past two weeks.
ME: "Jongshik, why are you saying 'takai desu ne'?"
JONGSHIK: "I don't know."
ME: "Do you know what it means?"
JONGSHIK: "No."
ME: "It means, 'it's expensive, isn't it?' in Japanese."
JONGSHIK: "So?"
ME: "Do you speak Japanese?"
JONGSHIK: "No, I hate Japanese, Japanese are very very crazy and all die. TAKAI DESU NE TAKAI DESU NEEEE"


And it's surprising how many people want "DDONG" for their Christmas present.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: waterfall12 on December 20, 2013, 03:57:44 pm
Okay students! How are you today?!

Fine

Ok

Im good

Teacher teacher! I am f**k you!
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: Engrish on December 20, 2013, 04:13:04 pm
Where is Superman from?
Supermarket!

What is the word for a small dog?
Hot dog!
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: stemarty on March 07, 2014, 09:46:17 am
Teacher I have decided on my Final English name. Please call me "Acorn Dick"

Me: How was your vacation?
Student: CANDY!!!
Me: Your vacation was Candy? That's nice. What did you do?
Student: I DID CANDY. SO NICE!!!
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: drgenderpotato on March 07, 2014, 10:26:23 am
My students wrote some essays about the movie Frozen.

Apparently, Elsa has "mice powers."

One student's favorite character is Holarape, because "Holarape is cut." (I'm guessing...Olaf?)
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: Space on March 07, 2014, 10:51:49 am
Not to me but a friend at a country school:

"Teacha, cow, no hello. Pig, no hello. Cow, annyeong-haseyo. Pig, annyeong-haseyo"

He was trying to say he was going to be a farmer so why learn English to speak to farm animals. I thought it was cute.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: specter13 on March 07, 2014, 11:45:38 am
One of my favorite when I was teaching at an all boys high school. This was an activity for low level students. I told them they need to create a movie and roles. So in a group of 4 there was a director, writer and two actors.

Me: Ok who is who here
Student 1: I am director
Student 2: I am writer
Me: What is your movie about?
Student 2: Gay porn movie

I am trying not to laugh

The director then tells me that one of the students will pretend to be gay and the other one won't

High school boys can be pretty funny sometimes.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: stemarty on March 07, 2014, 11:55:05 am
One of my favorite when I was teaching at an all boys high school. This was an activity for low level students. I told them they need to create a movie and roles. So in a group of 4 there was a director, writer and two actors.

Me: Ok who is who here
Student 1: I am director
Student 2: I am writer
Me: What is your movie about?
Student 2: Gay porn movie

I am trying not to laugh

The director then tells me that one of the students will pretend to be gay and the other one won't

High school boys can be pretty funny sometimes.

i got much worse from my middle school boys. I think that topic is used in a joking matter regardless what school boys are in
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: stemarty on March 20, 2014, 12:44:16 pm
Students: ~Do you want to build a snowman?~
Me: No. I dont
Students: ~Ok....byeeeeeeee~ (as they leave the office)
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: JMW on March 20, 2014, 02:19:18 pm
The school asked me when I arrived that if I had free time could I roam the halls at lunch and interact with the students; allowing them to use English outside of the classroom. This lunchtime walk soon became my favourite as I got some of the FUNNIEST questions and statements ever.

Last summer a group of my grade six boys came to me at lunch while I was out in the yard enjoying the sun. One of the boys has a pretty good grasp of English and he was tasked with asking me the questions or statements the others said in Korean.
I realized quickly that these questions/statements were meant to test me/embarrass me/give them a good laugh.

Boy:
Teacher, I have to go poo. (Other boys howling in laughter)
Me: Go ahead. (Dead pan facial expression)
Boy: Teacher...poo....
Me: Go, you don’t need my permission (he’s high level English)

At this point the laughter died as they realized I wasn't reacting in the way they wanted. They asked a few other harmless questions until the last one.....
(note: he whispered this slightly as I think he was embarrassed)
Boy: Teacher?....Have you seen a boys....umm...special place?

At this point my brain ran a million miles a millisecond on how to respond, and taking a millisecond to laugh hysterically in my head.
I said ‘yes’. The look of sheer shock on his face was funny. Now the other boys were still laughing that he had asked me so they hadn’t heard me answer. I looked this kid dead in the eye no smile, no frown, nothing and said:
"Remember? I have a baby brother. When he was very very little I had to help my mother change his diapers."

The boy looked real serious in thought for a moment and then it dawned on him and he looked at me nodding, like that was the most obvious and normal answer. He then told me I must have been a good big sister.

Since I had not reacted to their questions as they wanted they changed to telling me about their favourite computer games.
All in all the funniest 10 minutes I've had.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: drgenderpotato on April 07, 2014, 12:02:53 pm
"Potato-teacher, you are so beautiful. Your hair is the same color as my hamster."

ME: "I have a cold. What should I do?"
STUDENT: "You should die."
(Coteacher yells)
STUDENT: "I'm sorry. You should go to heaven."

Uhhh...better?
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: Jaunter on April 07, 2014, 01:50:50 pm
We were going over like and dislike sentences.

Me: Ji-hyun, what fruit don't you like?
Ji-hyun: I don't like raisins.
Me: Why?
Ji-hyun: Because they are small.

At this point the class is cracking up and Ji-hyun cannot fathom why.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: iamrhart on April 07, 2014, 02:01:08 pm
We were going over like and dislike sentences.

Me: Ji-hyun, what fruit don't you like?
Ji-hyun: I don't like raisins.
Me: Why?
Ji-hyun: Because they are small.

At this point the class is cracking up and Ji-hyun cannot fathom why.

i dont get it either.

is it funny because a raisin is really a grape?
or was there some kind of 'second meaning' behind being a raisin/small?
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: drgenderpotato on April 08, 2014, 09:07:47 am
Maybe it means balls?


(I showed the class a picture of Hello Kitty during Speed Quiz)
6TH GRADE BOY: "Oh! My girlfriend!"
ME: "She doesn't have a mouth."
6TH GRADE BOY: "I know."
ME: 'So how do you kiss her?"
6TH GRADE BOY: "We will kiss in heaven when we die."

Okey-dokey.

We were going over like and dislike sentences.

Me: Ji-hyun, what fruit don't you like?
Ji-hyun: I don't like raisins.
Me: Why?
Ji-hyun: Because they are small.

At this point the class is cracking up and Ji-hyun cannot fathom why.

i dont get it either.

is it funny because a raisin is really a grape?
or was there some kind of 'second meaning' behind being a raisin/small?
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: iamrhart on April 08, 2014, 10:14:27 am
Teacher, i like sex.
*me*   Ok.
teacher do you like sex?
*me* Do you like learning English?
Ok Teacher.

Teacher: Take out your English Books
Student 1: i dont have one. its at home
Student 2: i dont have one too. it was stolen
Teacher: do you have a math book?
Student 2: Yes.
Teacher: do you have a science book?
Student 2: Yes.
Teacher: so you have a math and science book, but your ENGLISH book was stolen?
Student 2: Yes.
Teacher: That is strange
Student 2: Yes. Everyone loves Englishy

*me* Let's go, quickly, get your books out.
"Too early!"
*my thoughts: that is EXACTLY what a child would say back home, when they are tired. i wonder HOW he know this phrase?  i mean, usually i get the groaning noise, or the 'teacher im tired' noise. but he just flat out said "it's tooo early". lol.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: lifeisgood6447 on April 08, 2014, 10:51:13 am
I would watch that one. I am not sure why they call you "Potato-teacher" but...
Korean: 감자 = potato
Korean: 감자 = slang for not looking put together; or untidy in looks. Some of my students use it as slang for "ugly", I found this out after I questioned why all of my students called this one kid "potato" all of the time and why he was getting upset  :police:

"Potato-teacher, you are so beautiful. Your hair is the same color as my hamster."
Quote
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: iamrhart on April 08, 2014, 11:37:56 am
no sooner did i finish reading this, than i heard students yelling this in the hallway, and some teachers (next to me) in the teachers-room started laughing.

"Potato-teacher, you are so beautiful. Your hair is the same color as my hamster."

I would watch that one. I am not sure why they call you "Potato-teacher" but...
Korean: 감자 = potato
Korean: 감자 = slang for not looking put together; or untidy in looks. Some of my students use it as slang for "ugly", I found this out after I questioned why all of my students called this one kid "potato" all of the time and why he was getting upset  :police:
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: HL_says on April 08, 2014, 01:38:19 pm
Painted my nails one day...

Kindergarten student: Wow! Teacher maneecute, maneecute
Me: Yes, I got a manicure. Do you like it?
Kindergarten student: Yes teacher, maneecute aaah cuttee

Somewhere the concept of manicure and 'very cute' got tangled.  I was still impressed with the English from the five year old.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: drgenderpotato on April 10, 2014, 03:44:17 pm
Uhhhhhh, my username is "drgenderpotato"lol...I'm not using my real first name on here. O_o

I would watch that one. I am not sure why they call you "Potato-teacher" but...
Korean: 감자 = potato
Korean: 감자 = slang for not looking put together; or untidy in looks. Some of my students use it as slang for "ugly", I found this out after I questioned why all of my students called this one kid "potato" all of the time and why he was getting upset  :police:

"Potato-teacher, you are so beautiful. Your hair is the same color as my hamster."
Quote

Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: 한소로 on June 19, 2014, 12:28:53 pm
Today, one of my third graders came up to me. He had a rash on his arm.

"Teacher, I'm not contagious!" He says, then he proceeds to rub his rash all over me.... :huh:
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: oatmealkooky on June 19, 2014, 12:35:23 pm
"What is the difference if I say 'He came inside' and 'He came out'?" :huh:
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: drgenderpotato on September 04, 2014, 01:19:20 pm
ME: "Janice, what did you do during the vacation?"
JANICE: "I went to the police station."
ME: "Oh, my god, why? Did you steal something?" (Relevant to the game we had played as a warm-up)
JANICE: "I stole B1A4!"
ME: 'Why? To kiiiissssssssss them?"
JANICE: "No, no, only friend."
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: travelinpantsgirl on September 04, 2014, 01:26:52 pm
4th graders...2 girls low to intermediate level...

Girl 1: Teacher, you have baby?
Me:  :huh: No, remember, I don't have children.
Girl 2: no, no! [begins to motion with her hands and I still don't get it]
Girl 1: Teacher, this [motions round belly motion], you know, baby...
Me:  :shocked: Am I having a baby?
Girl 1: Yes!
Me: NO!
Girls: oh...you look big.
me: :huh:

I am not even fat. I am average, but I was wearing a loose dress and the fans were blowing it all around me, my guess is they thought it was a maternity dress...lol.
They know I am not married..
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: Hot6^ on September 04, 2014, 01:38:46 pm
>2nd year Kindy
>TEACHER TEACHER!
>Me: Yes?
>Runs over and yanks up Korean Co teachers skirt.
>Cover my face and leave the room, burst out laughing.
>Scold him later about how that's not appropriate.

Good ole Louis.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: jeremydc808 on September 04, 2014, 01:59:15 pm
Walking with my co-teacher today (She is one of those cutesy type younger teachers)

5th grader

Walking......
Student: Hey teacher (directed towards co-teacher)
Co-teacher: Hello!
Student: Are you a freak?
Co-teacher: Huh?????
Student: ARE YOU a freak?
Co-Teacher: I'm sorry. I don't understand.
Student:
 (http://www.reactiongifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/pelvic-thrust.gif)
Co-teacher:  :huh:
Me: :laugh:
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: drgenderpotato on September 05, 2014, 10:38:32 am
COTEACHER: "What kind of person steals?" (looking for "thief")
KID: "Chinese."

Ohmygod.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: sojuadventurer on September 05, 2014, 12:11:21 pm
New kid (I literally met him the same day he said this to me):  "TEACHER!  I LOVE YOU!  I'M NOT GAY!"
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: Gaikoku.org on September 05, 2014, 01:14:13 pm
Student A: I am BJ!
Student B: His job, teacher! Internet BJ! Youtube upload!
Me: Uhhhhhh



He uploads League of Legends plays to youtube and BJ is his nickname...

Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: Jaelen on September 05, 2014, 03:33:03 pm
Not so much something they said...but....

I had been teaching phonics to my elementary 3rd graders for a while. Every now and then I'll have a spelling competition with them. They have to listen to the word I say and correctly write it on their whiteboards..

The word was  "CLOCK"
......almost all the students mispelled it....leaving out the "L."

So I had to keep a straight face while a bunch of innocent 3rd graders held up white boards with the word "COCK" written on them....  :lipsrsealed:

Thankfully my co-teacher wasn't in the room hahaha.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: fwicksteed on September 05, 2014, 04:45:40 pm
Questions I asked one of my classes after they had been studying the reading part of the textbook about various artists with my coteacher:

Me: *Showing picture of the Mona Lisa* Who painted this?
Student: LEONARDO DI CAPRIO!

Me: Can you name 3 famous artists?
Student: Edward da Vinci.

English names are hard.



During a speaking test question using 'guess what' and 'you mean'...

Me: Guess what!
Student: What?
Me: I won a million dollars!
Student: You mean you can buy a pencil?

Yes. Yes I can. Not wrong, but so cute.


Also, one of my students accidentally held up the word 'faceboob' on a whiteboard instead of 'Facebook'.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: drgenderpotato on September 18, 2014, 03:54:19 pm
BOY 1: "What did you do yesterday?"
BOY 2: "I kill you!"
BOY 1: (whispering) "Kill-uuuhhhhd! Killed!"
BOY 2: "Oh, sorry. I KILLED you yesterday. How about you?"
BOY 1: "Oh, I killed you, too."
BOY 2: "Great!"

(after being asked for examples)
KID 1: "Can I crazy?"
KID 2: "Yes, you may!"
KID 1: "Then I will hit you!"
KID 2: "That's dirty and nice. I'll take it."
KID: "How much are YOU?"
TEACHER: "These pens are two thousand won. They're cheap and nice."
KID: "They're expensive! WATER PARK!"
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: magicmumu on September 19, 2014, 06:04:56 am
So, I was teaching a lesson about big numbers because my students all completely shut down when I ask them to read a number over 100. It's also important to know that I'm a little chunky. I'm overweight but not morbidly so (except by Korean standards).

I had a really big number written on the board. The highest I went was billions I think.

I asked my students how to read this number and that one sassy kid at the front looks at me, looked my dead in the eyes, and says "Teacher's calories." -___________-

I'm writing this story as I eat a pancake that my students made for me lol


Ouch!  ;D
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: amgoalng on September 19, 2014, 10:58:47 am
I was teaching my kids antonyms and synonyms in a conversation class.  The idea was they chose a word on the board, make a sentence, then another student chose another word, but added to the story.  This is what I got.

I hate cucumbers.
Because I worship pickles.
The cucumbers and pickles had a war.
I love pickles because they gave me a bribe.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: Monfab on September 19, 2014, 12:07:24 pm
In my all boys middle school, a bunch of 2nd graders were all stood around laughing.

"Teacher teacher, like womans bust. Big, soft, you want to feel?"

Half a class were stood taking it in turns to rub another kid's man boobs. My students are weird, and kind of creepy at times.

Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: Gaikoku.org on September 19, 2014, 12:12:01 pm
In my all boys middle school, a bunch of 2nd graders were all stood around laughing.

"Teacher teacher, like womans bust. Big, soft, you want to feel?"

Half a class were stood taking it in turns to rub another kid's man boobs. My students are weird, and kind of creepy at times.

Males do pretty stupid things in lieu of female contact.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: worraps on September 19, 2014, 01:03:59 pm
Hi to all.

This is my first post.

I had a female student tell a male student, "You must erect yourself!"

What she meant was, you must sit up straight.

Funny at the time.

Peace.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: kjritchhart on September 19, 2014, 01:09:03 pm
Every Wednesday one of my second year boys asks me to marry him, without fail.  This particular Wednesday he ask and the following happened between a group of four different boys:

Boy1:  Teacher, marry me!
Boy2:  YES!  Teacher, I love you!  Marry ME!
Boy3:  NO Teacher!  I love you!  They lie, marry me!
Boy4:  We can all marry teacher.
Me:  :huh: ............ :laugh:
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: amgoalng on September 19, 2014, 02:01:28 pm
I don't know if this counts as well speaking. 

A kindergartner that wanted to play, and practice her tae kwon do moves, well...let's just say, she knows where to hit a guy.  I limped away.  I never thought I would have to wear a cup to school.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: stemarty on September 22, 2014, 11:33:21 am
Teacher...you me....uh...chicken. I take you for chicken, you give me good grade.

I died. Ended up taking him and a bunch of old students for chicken 3 years later since they are graduating high school this year ^^
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: scholes on September 22, 2014, 11:39:57 am
A student told me on Friday that when she looks at me from the front i dont look so fat. But from the side I look really fat, lol.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: abert on September 22, 2014, 03:48:48 pm
I was doing a stress lesson today with my second grade High Schools students.

I asked a girl what makes her feel less stressed:

Me: What makes you feel less stressed
Student: When I see handsome boy.....my eyes feel 'bery' happy
(She said it with a straight face too!)

:P
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: joanns on October 07, 2014, 12:30:30 pm
I gave my 2nd yr. high school students this riddle: "When you say my name, I disappear. What am I?"

As the students were guessing the answer, one boy said: "love." :laugh:

I hope he's not speaking out of personal experience, though. What a big "Ouch!" that would be!
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: amgoalng on October 07, 2014, 01:30:32 pm
Last week a middle school boy said this. 

We went over: Seoul is better than Pusan because_________.  One boy said, "Seoul is better than Pusan because of sexy girls." 

All the boys laughed.  Two boys wanted me to give his team 10 points.  I gave him five.  The next phrase was, "When I am sick I should_____."  He tried, "When I am sick I should look at sexy girls."  Funny as it was, I could only allow the joke once.

Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: nebulasprout on October 07, 2014, 02:37:56 pm
We're practicing "congratulations on..." today in class, so for fun I said "I ate a whole pizza by myself."

One girls' response:

"Congratulations on getting fat."

Simply amazing.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: ciannagh on October 07, 2014, 03:04:07 pm
Went to wake a sleeping student up in my class. I noticed he had written, "CHEST SEX IS MY LIFE" on his textbook in big black marker.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: travelinpantsgirl on October 14, 2014, 02:19:38 pm
ciannagh,

had a similar thing happened to me. A 6th grade girl was sitting in front of me and she finished her classwork and began to doodle on her book. She wrote: Touch my body.  :huh:

but then she wrote SISTA and I asked her if it was a song title and she said yes. Still why is a 12 yr old listening to that? Am I just getting old that I find that mildly disturbing? LOL
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: patthebunny on October 14, 2014, 02:35:16 pm
I was recently doing a lesson on Compliments to third year high school students.  After working through the lesson I gave out slips of paper with various things you needed to compliment a fellow student on.  When the boy stood up to compliment his friend on his Badminton skills he declared

'I can't see your hand.  Wow, where's your shuttle cock?'

I died and then asked what exactly he meant.  he made a fast swipe with his hand showing his swing is so good and fast.  Whatever, I was already holding back tears.  I kept his answer paper as evidence to the awesomeness.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: Paul on October 14, 2014, 02:58:01 pm
Revising the vocabulary items during that grade 6 unit on organising parties:

"What other types of party do you know?"
"Lemon party."
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: patthebunny on October 14, 2014, 06:21:52 pm
Revising the vocabulary items during that grade 6 unit on organising parties:

"What other types of party do you know?"
"Lemon party."
And once again Urban Dictionary protects my eyes where Google would have just made them sad. 
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: jayrenegade on October 15, 2014, 01:21:38 pm
Co Teacher: What are the key sentences from this lesson?
Student A: What do you want.
Co Teacher: Anything else?
Student B: Bibbidy Bobbidy Boo!
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: travelinpantsgirl on October 15, 2014, 01:30:12 pm
Not so much what was said but what they did. As typical children, they came into my office begging for candy because word spread that I give candy if they clean the unused classroom I sit in well. These beggars hadn't done anything to warrant the candy...but continued to beg desperately...I had an idea...

"Please teacher, give me candy!" (Three in unison 6th graders)
"Okay, I'll give you candy if you do the dance that I show you." (I played the video on my iPad"

Needless to say, I got three 6th graders to do the hokey pokey for three straight minutes before I couldn't keep a straight face anymore and gave in...lol. I gave them each one piece.
That was my entertainment for the day...lol.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: Newteacher2014 on October 15, 2014, 02:22:26 pm
BOY 1: "What did you do yesterday?"
BOY 2: "I kill you!"
BOY 1: (whispering) "Kill-uuuhhhhd! Killed!"
BOY 2: "Oh, sorry. I KILLED you yesterday. How about you?"
BOY 1: "Oh, I killed you, too."
BOY 2: "Great!"

(after being asked for examples)
KID 1: "Can I crazy?"
KID 2: "Yes, you may!"
KID 1: "Then I will hit you!"
KID 2: "That's dirty and nice. I'll take it."
KID: "How much are YOU?"
TEACHER: "These pens are two thousand won. They're cheap and nice."
KID: "They're expensive! WATER PARK!"

I'm still crying from laughing so much at your post!
I remember this lesson. Sadly, my grade 6 don't speak much. :(
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: jb2079 on October 15, 2014, 02:34:57 pm
Finish this sentence

"_________ yourself." which is the keyphrase help yourself

One student loudly trying to say please and help yourself shouted,

"Please yourself!"

Of course I was the only one that died. haha

Uhhhh. No. No.


Another student,

I said "Okay class, where is he?"

"teacher teacher!! He's in the chicken!" chicken-kitchen

The whole class erupted in laughter.

He did admit he was hungry.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: Newteacher2014 on October 15, 2014, 02:54:56 pm
More sad than funny:

We did superhero camp this summer.
They had to make their own superhero for the puppet show.

Team A:
Strength: Fire
Weakness: His heart
(not bad!)

Team B's:

Strength: Fly
Weakness: Parents.

Me:"Her weakness is her parents?"
Student: "Yes! Parents!"
ME: "Why?"
Student: "She is very scary parents."

:(
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: YoungMin on October 15, 2014, 03:12:11 pm
Elementary Grade 3

Flicking through some slides on a PowerPoint describing appearance. Kids have to shout out the answer...


"Terror bomber!" "Terrorist!"


The correct answer was pretty.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: εἰμί on October 16, 2014, 01:45:19 pm
I do realize that this post is about hilarious things that the students have said, as in spoken, but I think this also qualifies...

We're playing The Price is Right and each team has to write down their price on a mini whiteboard. The item on the screen is a Kia Morning with an estimated price of 10,000,000 won... most of the teams guessed 20,000,000 won or higher but one of the teams guessed the price to be 2,500,000 won and I had to bite my lip to keep from LMAO.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: JasonB13 on October 16, 2014, 03:33:44 pm
6th Graders talking smack about each other in Korean. Girls and Boys mixed while cleaning the English room. They cuss and joke around, I let them, as long as it doesn't get too offensive or not at an excessive amount.

Boy (to me): Teacher, do you see her? She is like the Hulk!
Me: Why?
Boy: Because she's dangerous and strong and mean like Hulk.
Girl: No! Teacher! He is ugly!
Boy: You are like a scary monster. Hulk!

Girl flips the boy off. Boy looks at me with a surprised look since I'm just laughing. (What? He deserved the bird)

Boy: Teacher did you see?
Me: HAHA What?
Boy: She fucked me!

I laugh even harder. Trying to tell him not to say that, but couldn't keep a straight face.

Boy: Teacher~~ Why?

Me: .(still laughing) ... nothing... just don't say that. It's not right.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: drgenderpotato on November 04, 2014, 03:25:12 pm
OTHER TEACHER: "How are you today?"
JIM: "My future is tired."

OTHER TEACHER: "What is your plan for this year?"
JIM: "EAT CHICKEN!"

Jim, you butthole. You rock.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: oatmealkooky on November 04, 2014, 10:01:27 pm
"I still live with my pants."
"My pants paid for this class."
"I went to Gyeongju with my pants."

I absolutely cannot teach this guy how to say "parents".
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: magicmumu on November 18, 2014, 09:56:35 am
This is my favorite thread on this entire site. I hope this thread never dies.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: KaPow! on November 18, 2014, 10:36:26 am
I'm at a Boys High School -
My one student called diapers 'magic panties', which I found pretty funny. 

Another student gave me a lemon and told me:"I love you, I need you, I want you"
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: z80 on November 18, 2014, 11:44:52 am
The magic panties might be a hang over ... when pads (ie womens pads) where introduced to Korea the brand was Magic, and older women may even refer to their period as 'magic time'.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: stemarty on November 18, 2014, 12:07:03 pm
During the speaking test I was sitting in the hallway. Student comes out but walks in the opposite direction and didn't notice me sitting there, waiting for him.

I let him get to the end of the hall and I hear "TEACHER WHERE ARE YOU?!"
So I replied: "IM OVER HERE!!!"
Student: "OH MY LIFE! I'M A COMING TEACHER!!!!! I'M A COMMMMMING!"
*said just as the Principal (who speaks fluent English) walked by me.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: chris0206 on November 18, 2014, 12:31:18 pm
Two elementary boys

Student A: What do you want to do?
Student B: I want to do you.
Student A: What?
Student B: I want to marry you.

and then the next class

one student:  I want a BJ. 
me: what
class:  He wants to be a  BJ.

Apparently a bj is a type of computer programming job
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: MonsoonPepper on November 18, 2014, 01:27:40 pm
ME: "I am going to Thailand."
Rosie (6): ?
ME: "Me, go, Thai."
Rosie: ...
ME: "Thailand. I go to Thai."
Rosie: "Teacher is high?"
 :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: travelinpantsgirl on November 18, 2014, 03:22:34 pm
(elementary)
3rd grade girl: Teacher, what is your dream?
Me: I want to be a writer. What's your dream?
3rd grade girl:I am 3rd grade. I don't know.

I kid you not, this child comes to me periodically to ask me these life/dream questions (always different). She must be learning them at her hagwon and then practicing on me, but it seems she has given no thought at all on how to ANSWER them, because every time I ask back I get, "I don't know, I am 3rd grade. " LOL
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: Sean Whitton on November 19, 2014, 12:42:04 pm
Grade 5 are writing bucket lists.

One has "I want to see god." on one page.  On the next: "I want to do god."

My co-teacher thinks he intended to write "I want to be god."

Edit: another: "I want to become intimate with Deft." apparently a professional LoL player.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: ohitsgary on November 19, 2014, 03:02:33 pm
Bumped into my old 6th graders who are now in middle school.

Me: "Hi, how's middle school?"
Student: "It's very f**k!"
Me: "Ok... :laugh:"
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: Space on November 20, 2014, 09:43:28 am
I'm at a Boys High School -
My one student called diapers 'magic panties', which I found pretty funny. 

Another student gave me a lemon and told me:"I love you, I need you, I want you"

It's a brand product. http://item2.gmarket.co.kr/English/detailview/item.aspx?goodscode=307046322

If I break my class into teams of two, I usually give them the names Huggies & Magic Panties.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: KaPow! on November 20, 2014, 10:41:38 am
I'm at a Boys High School -
My one student called diapers 'magic panties', which I found pretty funny. 

Another student gave me a lemon and told me:"I love you, I need you, I want you"

It's a brand product. http://item2.gmarket.co.kr/English/detailview/item.aspx?goodscode=307046322

If I break my class into teams of two, I usually give them the names Huggies & Magic Panties.

Aww, and I thought he was just getting creative with his limited vocabulary  :laugh:
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: tikleme_elmo on November 20, 2014, 11:07:19 am
I am teaching Lesson 4, Don't Touch it (Grade 4) so instead of saying Don’t touch it one of my students shouts out "Dong" touch it!

Teacher, what is sand forest?

Me: Ah! Desert! Sand forest, very smart, Yu Chan!
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: Gaikoku.org on November 21, 2014, 01:46:28 pm
*to the tune of O Canada*

O Canada~
Maple massisoyo~~~



I haven't even done an intensive job raising Canadian awareness among them but a few have picked up on the key stereotypes somehow.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: drgenderpotato on November 21, 2014, 03:46:12 pm
Answers to "What do you want to be when you grow up?"

"A zombie!"
"A Protoss!"
"FOOD!!!!"
"I don't care because anyways I will die in future."
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: BigEaredHylian on December 19, 2014, 03:47:08 pm
"Yoga is good for woman's bloody day. If you doing yoga, bloody day is not much hurt."

From an essay ~
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: Gaikoku.org on December 19, 2014, 06:05:01 pm
"wahahahahaha! You don't have a penis!"
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: ultrafunk on December 19, 2014, 10:59:49 pm
So I was teaching a group of ten year old students a lesson about fine art. These students are at a high level of English for their age. Anyway, the picture that the book used as an opening activity was "The birth of Venus" by Botitcelli.

Me: Ok. Kids what do you see? :undecided:

Female Student: I see a penis.  :angel:

Me: Next page everyone! :huh:

That was a topic I didn't want to tackle in the slightest.


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Birth_of_Venus_(Botticelli)#mediaviewer/File:Sandro_Botticelli_-_La_nascita_di_Venere_-_Google_Art_Project_-_edited.jpg
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: BTeacher on December 20, 2014, 11:32:48 am
MS boy: "Teacher, what's hot?"

Me: "You mean, what's popular?"

MS boy: "Yes."

Me: "Hm, skateboarding? Hip-hop? Dubstep music?"

MS boy looks at me doubtfully.

Me: "I don't know, you tell me, you're the teenager!"

---

Me: "What did you do on the weekend?"

boy(6): "Play pocket pool."

Me: "You mean pocket ball, billiards?" (make motion of using a cue stick)

boy(6): "No. Pocket pool." (laughs)

Me: ok...
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: aklimkewicz on December 24, 2014, 10:42:49 am
Me: What are you going to do on Christmas?

Middle School Student: On Christmas, I'm going to do boyfriend . . . but I'm sad, because I'm no boyfriend.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: nimrand on December 24, 2014, 11:04:51 am
I have a bright student in my 5th grade class that likes to non-challantly laugh with a punctuated ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha (sounds sort of like the Count from Sesame Street) when things go her way.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: Gaikoku.org on December 24, 2014, 11:24:21 am
*playing a scrambled word game about jobs*

Student: Uhhhhh taxi driver?
Teacher: No. I'll give you a hint: Obama.
Student: Oh! Taxi driver!

President. President was the job.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: kelsthekid on December 24, 2014, 11:57:50 am
*teaching 5th grade class about Christmas and the tradition of kissing under the mistletoe*
Most of the class- "Ew", "NO!", "Teacher, why???"
One boy- "WOW! TEACHER GOOD JOB!" *clapping and thumbs up*
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: emwsu on December 24, 2014, 12:11:35 pm
Student: Teacher, never beautiful
Me: What?!
S: Never beautiful teacher
Me: Really?! NEVER?
S: Yes teacher, I love you
Me: (huh) you mean always?
S: No, never teacher
S2: (Korean/Konglish speaking)
S: Sorry teacher, ALWAYS beautiful! I love you teacher!
Me: Thanks

This happened yesterday, I work at tech HS. Whole time student was smiling and nodding his head. So glad they still love me, even when I'm never beautiful...
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: slycordinator on December 24, 2014, 12:33:50 pm
I don't remember if I posted this hear before but...

Student: Teacher. You're handsome.
Me: Thanks.
Student: Teacher. Joke. I'm not gay.
Me: Ok.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: kjritchhart on December 24, 2014, 02:11:21 pm
This one happened not too long ago:

Students:  Teacher, today free day?!
Me:  No, not a free day.
Students:  Why?  Teacher, why?!
Smart ass Student:  It's because I don't like you.

Funny because I would always tell them "No, it isn't a free day today" and would then answer the why questions with "because I don't like you."  They are learning so well.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: kjritchhart on December 24, 2014, 02:17:57 pm
Another one that happened today, not really hilarious but warms your heart.

I give Candy Canes for Christmas to all of the students at my school (even the ones I do not teach).  I went into the Special Education room and was giving them their candy.  And the following happened:

S1: Teacher, why?
Me: Christmas Candy
S2 (no English ability at all):  We wish you a Merry Christmas, We wish you a Merry Christmas...

He sand the entire song to me.  It was so sweet.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: travelinpantsgirl on December 25, 2014, 12:31:04 pm
Couple of my 6th grade girl students come to see me during lunch to hang out in my empty unused classroom.  Another little one (the sweetest child ever), also comes (alone) to practice her English.

On both occasions these children have put me in their confidences...lol

S1:travelinpants teacher, can you keep a secret?
Me: yes, what?
S1: I hate ________teacher. (My CT's name)
S2: Yes, she's very mean.
S1: horrible. (She shudders)
Me: (successfully wearing my poker face) I'm sorry you feel that. (Meanwhile I want to agree so bad.) their class is the worst behaved 6th grade so I instead told them maybe they should ask their classmates to behave more respectfully and she won't seem mean, though I doubt it.

Second little girl comes to practice and says this:
S1:travelinpants teacher, you know _______teacher? (My Ct again)
Me: Yes, of course.
S1: secret okay?
Me: okay.
S1: I'm scared of her. I don't like her. She looks like this: (child proceeds to open eyes wide and makes devil horns)
Me: I'm sorry you're scared of her.
The really sad part is my CT is mean to that child because of her attachment to me.

Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: BTeacher on January 01, 2015, 04:20:41 pm
My last class one evening had just two middle school boys, who are close friends.

It was one boy's last day at the hogwan.

At the end of class, as they were getting ready to go, the other boy said to his friend that was leaving:

"I will remember this moment for all eternity.
My tears will be lost in the rain.
You are the queen of my heart."
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: ShanaC on January 02, 2015, 09:31:09 am
Random things my elementary students yelled out last week:

3rd grade boy: "Lamborghini!"

2nd grade girl: "E.T. phone home!"
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: fwicksteed on January 03, 2015, 06:25:13 pm
Practicing the expression 'Let me _____ for you' with 3rd grade middle school students...

Me: I don’t have enough money to pay for lunch! Can you please help me?
Student: Let me sell fake medicine to make money for you.
Me: Ok... Why would you sell fake medicine?
Student: This is traditional Korean culture.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: travelinpantsgirl on February 03, 2015, 01:00:56 pm
3rd grade elementary. They finished their books and lessons in early December so, now we're just showing movies. I know bad teacher. On the upside my CT thinks they're better off without Korean subtitles so they are actually watching only in English. Anyway they were watching  a animated movie and then two of the characters kiss and in the middle of their silence I hear,"my eyes are breaking!!!" LOL

Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: lovebunny on February 03, 2015, 02:20:52 pm
'Teacher! ISIS!'

During a slideshow that featured a photo of me in a Mosque wearing headscarf.


I guess that one's kind of sad
Title: Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
Post by: TOSeoulcialite on April 13, 2015, 10:13:12 am
From a stint in a hagwon last year. When asked to use a room name and a verb in the present continuous in a sentence Luke replied: "He's dying in the living room."

Hah!  So meta. 

My kids never say anything funny.  Great kids making for boring stories?
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: slothboy on April 13, 2015, 01:31:20 pm
"I want to be a BJ when I grow up"
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: cjszk on April 13, 2015, 01:50:50 pm
During a game of sleeping elephants, the sentence was "Da Vinci painted the Mona Lisa."

One group of students wrote "Da bitch painted the Mona Lisa."
After some shock, I told them to check their spelling. They changed it to "The bitch painted the Mona Lisa."  :lipsrsealed:
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: johnny russian on April 13, 2015, 01:56:19 pm
During a game of sleeping elephants, the sentence was "Da Vinci painted the Mona Lisa."

One group of students wrote "Da bitch painted the Mona Lisa."
After some shock, I told them to check their spelling. They changed it to "The bitch painted the Mona Lisa."  :lipsrsealed:

hahaha. not something my students said, but it reminded me of this: the other day i'm walking passed this store in my city that sells glasses, contact lenses, etc. called 'Davichi'. i think it's a chain.

so anyway i'm walking passed and they start blasting out their theme song from the speakers outside the store, which is "Vichi, vichi, vichi, Davichi."

except the song was sung by a Korean so with the way Koreans tend to pronounce 'v' as 'b' you can imagine what it actually sounded like  :laugh:
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: SKhero on May 21, 2015, 08:52:23 am
Wasn't very appropriate but I just went along with it haha

Student: "Teacher, I love you!"
Me: "Okay..."
Student: "I wanna take you to a gay bar."
Me: "  :huh:......  :azn: Okay. When? Are you going to pay?"
Student: "Today! Yes!"
Me: "Where? Is it in (our town)?"
Student: "No! It's Hongkong!"
Me: "Bwahahaha but it's expensive to go to Hongkong, no?"
Student: "I'm very rich guy!"
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: ChickenLegsMcGee on May 21, 2015, 09:19:16 am
-Walk into class-

Student: Teacher! You Ugly!
Me: Pull candy out of my pocket and put it on the table (prize for review class)
Same student: Oh teacher, you so handsome! Very very handsome!
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: ShanaC on May 21, 2015, 09:31:22 am
6th grade class is all quiet as they begin a test. Suddenly, one boy yells, "Fire in the hole!"
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: BradyQ on May 21, 2015, 10:29:16 am
I told a 3rd grade student to do something and he stops, glares at me, and yells "NO! You are a foreigner."
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: sojuadventurer on May 21, 2015, 10:52:54 am
Me:  What is [insert English vocabulary word here]?
3rd grade MS girl who never talks (blurts out LOUDLY):  NO IDEA, MAN!
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: slycordinator on May 21, 2015, 11:01:40 am
I'm not particularly surprised but anymore...

I used a video that had another bearded white teacher.

The kids all said it was me even after hearing the dude speak.

For a slide on a game showcasing the phrase "That's too bad", I put some random black guy with his hand over his mouth in concern.

The kids all started saying it was Obama.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: Hot6^ on May 21, 2015, 11:15:58 am
Slide show showing a town.

Click for next slide. Animation has the town falling off the screen (top to bottom).

I was just "aaaa earthquake."

One kid yells "TEACHER! NEPAL!!! NEPAL!!"

Too soon, Too soon... I still laughed though.


Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: CO2 on May 21, 2015, 01:09:22 pm
Grade 3, Unit 5 How many?

One of the key terms is "Welcome." One of the girls sang Welcome to the Jungle by GnR when she did her speaking test. Blew my mind. I asked her how she knew that song and she just said "Older brother."

Another one of students said that our Alphabet song sounds a lot like Champagne Supernova by Oasis and then asked if I knew who Oasis was.

Unreal.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: Soggysocks on May 21, 2015, 01:17:01 pm
I asked one of my fifth grade girls for a hug. She called me a lez.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: theconqueress on May 21, 2015, 01:55:49 pm
This one really caught me off guard.

5th grade students practicing a role play:

Girl 1 [playing a male character]: Will you marry me?
Girl 2: Yes!

Girl 3 (watching): LESBIANNNnnnnnn
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: dizzl on May 21, 2015, 01:59:27 pm
Doing the food chapter with 5th grade, I am asking what food they like.

The one boy calmly says "I like wi-pi" because one of the example foods is apple pie.
He know exactly what he was doing and I never saw it coming. I could not stop laughing and my co tried to correct his pronunciation.

He must be one of those secret genius' that hides their true English ability.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: rhchris1 on May 21, 2015, 02:42:54 pm
I live in Seongnam and I told one of my classes that for dinner I was going to eat in Jeongja with one of my friends.  One of the second grade MS boys started laughing hysterically and proceeded to tell me that Jeongja means "man tadpoles". 
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: meepmoopimmarobots on May 21, 2015, 03:07:27 pm
This one really caught me off guard.

5th grade students practicing a role play:

Girl 1 [playing a male character]: Will you marry me?
Girl 2: Yes!

Girl 3 (watching): LESBIANNNnnnnnn

hahaha, this happened in my fifth grade class. An all-girl group roleplayed a wedding and one boy's response was to scream "OH MY GOD LESBIANS TEACHER LESBIANS."

Then I had one of those awful native teacher moments: do I yell at him for screaming "lesbians" because it appears to have been pejorative and I don't want any lesbian kids in the class to feel bad, if there are any, and because it's not an insult? Do I not react so that kids will see that I'm not bothered by the term so it's obviously not objectionable? Do I chastise him because he did this and scared the special needs student who we coaxed for months to be able to do a roleplay?

I just went with my usual, "Zip your lips," and then my coteacher and I took him aside later and told him not to yell at other students because it's rude.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: Zealot_Hill on May 21, 2015, 03:14:06 pm
Playing Minecraft bomb game with kids
(Creeper means all teams lose all their points) - Nuke

Smartest student in after school class has just lost all his points to Creeper Nuke. He got ahead again and then someone switched points with him.

He is very silent for the next five minutes then out of nowhere yells:

TEEECHA WHERE IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS CREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

I couldn't contain myself, I just burst out laughing. A few minutes later he's trying to scrub for points: "teacher, I love you man! I love you teacher! I'm not gay though"

oh man...
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: kaasenham on May 21, 2015, 03:54:50 pm
"Teacher, yellow hair bling bling!"
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: Kingeudey on May 21, 2015, 04:34:50 pm
Two of my favorites.

When talking about how the chicken skin is often delicious on fried chicken:

"Yes.  Chicken clothes is very important."

When I presented the question:

Charles Darwin, who formulated his Theory of what, sailed on the HMS Beagle.

"Level up."
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: TeresaD on May 21, 2015, 06:53:09 pm
Co-teacher: Who's your favourite basketball player?
Student: Michael Jackson!
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: slycordinator on May 21, 2015, 08:55:25 pm
I couldn't contain myself, I just burst out laughing. A few minutes later he's trying to scrub for points: "teacher, I love you man! I love you teacher! I'm not gay though"
Think I posted here, but similarly last year:
MS student: Teacher, you're handsome.
Me: Thanks
Him: Teacher. Joke. I'm not gay.
Me: Ok.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: ConservativeCat on May 22, 2015, 07:17:19 am
In my 4th grade class, we were doing a speaking activity related to 'Whose Watch Is This?'

I'm walking around, listening to the kids talk when I hear this gem:

S1: Whose camera is this?
S2: It's stalker's!

"What?" I asked.

S2: It's stalker's!

Followed by the boy pretending to leap from the shadows and take pictures.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: jomi on May 22, 2015, 07:48:56 am
Recently I had a student say this which I found super adorable: "Adjectives are to twinkle twinkle....twinkle twinkle a noun'
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: manders@26 on May 22, 2015, 08:38:57 am
Recently I had a second grade MS student say something not necessarily funny, but caught me off guard. We were discussing superheroes', strengths, and weaknesses. One of the superheroes was Iron Man, and I asked, what are his weaknesses.

Me: What are Iron Man's weaknesses?
Students: Uhhhhhh...
Hyun Min: (speaking low) He's narcissistic.
Me: Yeah, he's, wait, what did you say?
Hyun Min: Narcissistic.
Me:  :blank:  :blank: :huh: :huh:
Students: Teacher, what is nar-nar-nar-sh blah blah?
Me: Uhhhh, well he--Mr. Kim (my CT) can you explain?

Needless to say, I owe him a large candy bar for catching me off guard with that one.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: jwharrison30 on May 22, 2015, 08:43:44 am
Recently I had a second grade MS student say something not necessarily funny, but caught me off guard. We were discussing superheroes', strengths, and weaknesses. One of the superheroes was Iron Man, and I asked, what are his weaknesses.

Me: What are Iron Man's weaknesses?
Students: Uhhhhhh...
Hyun Min: (speaking low) He's narcissistic.
Me: Yeah, he's, wait, what did you say?
Hyun Min: Narcissistic.
Me:  :blank:  :blank: :huh: :huh:
Students: Teacher, what is nar-nar-nar-sh blah blah?
Me: Uhhhh, well he--Mr. Kim (my CT) can you explain?

Needless to say, I owe him a large candy bar for catching me off guard with that one.

At the risk of showing how much of a nerd I am, I am pretty sure that is a quote from Natasha Romanovs report on Tony Stark from Iron Man 2
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: Tinsley on May 26, 2015, 08:32:46 am
Was doing the Dirty, Dangerous, Dream Jobs lesson with my after school class last week, and we got to the pet food taster job. When I asked what they thought was good about it...

Student 1: Maybe good if like dog?
Student 2: Yeah. We can have lunch together.

I cracked up. :laugh:
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: Pecan on June 05, 2015, 02:23:56 pm
We started lesson 6 "Can I sit here?" today.

Class is practicing the key expressions.  "Can I sit here?"  "Sure (yes), you can." Sorry (no), you can't"

One student asks "Can I shit here?"

The ringer (he has lived in the US), "Shit here? NO! NO, you can't!"

Lovely stuff :)

Stay safe out there.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: lmwright on June 05, 2015, 02:46:48 pm
On one page of the textbook, a male character is seen sitting with a female character.

"Teacher, love, couple."

On the next page, the same male character is seen talking to a different female character.

"TEACHER, HE ... [FLIPPING BETWEEN THE TWO PAGES] WITH HER COUPLE! ALSO WITH HER COUPLE! HE'S VERY BAD."


Also every time the textbooks use the name Bob as an example my students think it sounds like 밥 and laugh and say "밥 먹었어요? Teacher I eat Bob" and I can't not laugh.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: meepmoopimmarobots on July 21, 2015, 03:27:06 pm
I've been saying goodbye to my sixth graders the past two weeks, which sucks, because they are the coolest kids ever. One class is particularly high-level, and after the initial consternation wore off, they started grilling me.

AMY: Teacher, WHY will you move to China?
JUHO: It's money.
ME: It is not money!
JUHO: It's ever day money for grownup people forever.
ME: No! In fact, I will make less money.
*gasps*
DEAN: Teacher?
ME: Yeah?
DEAN: DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHRRRRRRRRR!! BAD IDEA TEACHER!

(apropos of nothing)

SEO HYEON: Your husband go China?
ME: Yes, he is.
SEO HYEON: Your baby go China?
ME: I don't have a baby.
SU JIN: Yes, you do. You have a daughter and she is nine years old.
ME: *wtf*

JASMIN: Teacher, PLEASE don't go! I don't want a teacher like (last teacher).
ME: Why not?
DEAN: (yelling from the doorway) BECAUSE SHE'S BLACK!!!!!!!!!!!!
ME: *wtf*

Dean has some issues.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: ShanaC on August 03, 2015, 03:15:12 pm
Student, walking into my air conditioned English room:

"Hallelujah!"
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: denimdaze on August 26, 2015, 11:54:16 am
Today I wore a shirt with brown, white, and light mint-green stripes.

S:  Teacher, your shirt looks like mint-chocolate chip ice cream!

 :laugh:
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: kyndo on October 14, 2015, 11:09:44 am
Today I was chatting with students about their dream jobs as an intro to the "Jobs: Old and New" lesson...

Me: So what's your dream job?
Student: I want to be a CEO! (just like the previous 5 students)
Me: Uh, cool. So. What's a CEO?
Student: *deep thinking*  Cheese Elephant Officer!
Me: Points for effort, kiddo.

Actually, I was very surprised when several other students were able to actually give me the correct answer...
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: Mr C on October 14, 2015, 11:58:18 am
Today I was chatting with students about their dream jobs as an intro to the "Jobs: Old and New" lesson...

Me: So what's your dream job?
Student: I want to be a CEO! (just like the previous 5 students)
Me: Uh, cool. So. What's a CEO?
Student: *deep thinking*  Cheese Elephant Officer!
Me: Points for effort, kiddo.

Actually, I was very surprised when several other students were able to actually give me the correct answer...
Mmmm ... Cheese elephants!
/Homer
Title: Tell Me Funny L/R, B/P, J/Z Sentences Your Student Said
Post by: jaysoon17 on December 09, 2015, 10:41:49 am
Do you have any funny sentences that one of your students wrote or said due to mispronunciation of letters or spelling?

A student told me the other day, "Teacher, I have a picture of me in a towel. Wait..." I told him that I don't want to see that, and he didn't understand why.

If he had said, "tower," then I would have been fine....pronunciation is important in cases like these.
Title: Re: Tell Me Funny L/R, B/P, J/Z Sentences Your Student Said
Post by: Zaiterade on December 09, 2015, 11:48:55 am
Zookeeper/Jewkeeper is my favorite so far.
Title: Re: Tell Me Funny L/R, B/P, J/Z Sentences Your Student Said
Post by: rltraylor59 on December 09, 2015, 12:03:04 pm
Coteacher: How do you spell crap??
Me: C-c-crap? Why?
Coteacher: This student went on vacation and he ate crap.
Me: Umm...
Coteacher: You know, crap. Like lobster.
Me: I think you mean "crab".

This has happened on multiple occasions.  :laugh: :laugh:
Title: Re: Tell Me Funny L/R, B/P, J/Z Sentences Your Student Said
Post by: CO2 on December 09, 2015, 12:05:36 pm
Zookeeper/Jewkeeper is my favorite so far.

Mine is similar. I asked my kids what they would do with a million doallrs.

"Teacher, I would build a Megajew."

 :rolleyes:

One more for good measure. I asked my kids to do a speaking assignment on how to make friends if you moved to a new school. My boy student got up and told the class that he would write Lesbian letters to all the girls at the school.

I'd only been here 3 or 4 months so I was blown away. WTF? How is this possible. So, the boy finishes his speech and goes to sit down. I ask him, "Do people really write Lesbian letters here????"


"TEACHER! LET'S BE FRIENDS LETTERS, LET'S BE FRIENDS LETTERS!"
Title: Re: Tell Me Funny L/R, B/P, J/Z Sentences Your Student Said
Post by: kzcl on December 09, 2015, 03:20:16 pm
Not exactly L/R etc but I've gotten some pretty classic pronunciation issues I love
Coteacher - "are you drinking a cock?"
"a what?"
"a cock?"
"oh! Yes, a Coke."

For some reason my kids think "beach" is "bit*h" so I have one kid that gets hysterical and rowdy when someone says "I went to the beach" which doesn't even make sense.

On the flip side - my kids know about the drink "Sex on the Beach" so someone did grafitti on my desk "Sex on the Bit*h" which I loved.

For some reason none of my kids can say "snack" so it comes out "snake"
"After school I ate a snake"
 "Did you?!"

And it took me about a year to figure out Chombees. "teacher Chombies! Chombeeeeeesss!"
"huh?"
"You know, Chombies, brainnnsss!"
I still didn't get it until my coteacher pulled up a picture.

Lastly dog comes out duck a lot more than I think it should.
"Teacher, I have a duck"
"You do?!"
"Yeah, he is very furry."
"Those are feathers."
"Feathers? Dog teacher, dog, KANG! KANG! KANG! KANG!" (barking sound, apparently)
Title: Re: Tell Me Funny L/R, B/P, J/Z Sentences Your Student Said
Post by: JNM on December 09, 2015, 03:28:06 pm

Lastly dog comes out duck a lot more than I think it should.


I always clarify when asked to lunch...

Ori-tang or Boshin-tang?

 ;D
Title: Re: Tell Me Funny L/R, B/P, J/Z Sentences Your Student Said
Post by: nick2012 on December 09, 2015, 03:30:58 pm
From a co-teacher a while back:

Coteacher: You don't have to come to school tomorrow, everybody has the day off.
Me: Why?
Coteacher: Because it's national erection day. We need tomorrow off to vote in the national erection.
Me: Oh... I see!
Title: Re: Tell Me Funny L/R, B/P, J/Z Sentences Your Student Said
Post by: CO2 on December 09, 2015, 03:36:33 pm
From a co-teacher a while back:

Coteacher: You don't have to come to school tomorrow, everybody has the day off.
Me: Why?
Coteacher: Because it's national erection day. We need tomorrow off to vote in the national erection.
Me: Oh... I see!

Oh man, not to one up you or anything but you jogged something loose in my brain.

I did conversational adult sessions for a few months. Enter Mr. Park. 55 year old Journalist.

Park: CO2, my erection is coming up!
Me: WHAT???
Park: My erection.......... very big!
Mr. Lee (my other student): At City Hall, maybe new mayor.
Me: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Title: Re: Tell Me Funny L/R, B/P, J/Z Sentences Your Student Said
Post by: shostager on December 09, 2015, 03:47:10 pm
I got the snake/snack thing too, although in my situation, the "snake" choice was quite believable.

(Student takes a white circle out of a package I don't see to offer to me): Teacher, snake!
Me: Snake?
S: Yes, teacher. Chinese food. Snake! (holds out circle)
Me: (well, they eat other stuff there, why not...dried snake!) Sure.

I proceed to eat it while student and friends watch with too much interest for a normal snack. It tastes kind of strange.

S: Teacher, is it delicious?
Me: It's okay. (Looks at them suspiciously.) 뱀 (snake)?
S: NO teacher! Snake, snake! 관식 (snack).
Me: Well, that's good.
Title: Re: Tell Me Funny L/R, B/P, J/Z Sentences Your Student Said
Post by: oglop on December 09, 2015, 05:36:12 pm
teaching ways to talk about the future...

me: what's negative of 'will'?
student: won't
me. great! what's negative of 'might'?
student: mon't

 ;D
Title: Re: Tell Me Funny L/R, B/P, J/Z Sentences Your Student Said
Post by: nespeaker on December 10, 2015, 05:07:12 am
My favorite food is lice.

My 6th graders yesterday were grooming each other during class by picking at each other's heads. I ask, "hey, what are you girls doing there?"

"Teacher, teacher, GoEun has rice...many rice!"

WTF are you doing in my class then?!!!
Title: Re: Tell Me Funny L/R, B/P, J/Z Sentences Your Student Said
Post by: gagevt on December 10, 2015, 07:40:38 am
Some of these are pretty funny. I've alwats heard the Jewkeeper one, but it's a lot funnier reading it here.

My favorite is: "Teacher boobie! Let's watch boobie!!!"
"Uhhhhh."
Title: Re: Tell Me Funny L/R, B/P, J/Z Sentences Your Student Said
Post by: Mr C on December 10, 2015, 07:51:07 am
In a high school lesson on favorite foods, one student wrote that he likes "folk lips".

This was during my first year, so I was a bit nonplussed.  Today, of course, I would instantly recognise that as "pork ribs".
Title: Re: Tell Me Funny L/R, B/P, J/Z Sentences Your Student Said
Post by: Inge1415 on December 10, 2015, 07:54:19 am
S: " Teacher, do you like the bitch?"
me: "Do I like the what?"
S: "The bitch....the she.......Ocean!"
me: "Ohhhhh the beaaaccchhhhhhh"
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: TeresaD on January 08, 2016, 10:55:31 am
I was reviewing the words for body parts with my Grade 3s yesterday. Ensuring they knew which body parts were which I asked them to point the parts out for me.

Me: "Show me your neck! Show me your legs!"
Student: "Show me the money!"
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: lifeisgood6447 on January 08, 2016, 11:49:13 am
This was about an hour ago. (middle school 1st grade girl. Super good kid throughout the year, and pretty quiet in nature)

We were playing Scattegories

Category: Some you find in the refrigerator that starts with B

Girl: Beer!

Next round, same girl.

Category: Some you drink that starts with K

Girl: Kloud! Cloud beer, so good teacher!

Playing the same game
Category: Something you DO in PE class.
2 girls: Teacher!
Me: No, something you DO.
2 girls: Yes, we do the PE teacher.
Me: uhhh. No, that isn't correct. *moves to next team*
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: meepmoopimmarobots on January 08, 2016, 11:54:54 am
(Zoe is sitting hunched over and with a look of pain on her face.)

ME: Zoe? Are you okay? Are you sick?
(Zoe shakes her head no.)
ME: Do you need to go to the bathroom?
(Zoe shakes her head no.)
DIANA: Meeps! *she points at Zoe* BLOOD! LOTS AND LOTS OF BLOOD!


LANA: Which do you prefer, pad or obie?
ME: Obie?
LANA: You know, obie! *she mimes something filthy*
ME: Oh....OH. O.B. Tampons?
LANA: Yeah. I don't wanna use O.B., but I don't want Americans to think I'm weird.
ME: Too late.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: johnny2shoes on January 08, 2016, 12:07:39 pm
My students have been begging me to get a hair cut. Admittedly I was getting a bit shaggy. So i got a cut this morning. I walked into class, thinking the kids would finally be satisfied.
Whole class in unison:AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!NOOOOOOOOOO!
Ji-min: Teacher go! Don't come back until your hair grows!!!!!
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: nomadicmadda on January 08, 2016, 12:39:19 pm
Some of my students in my art club are ordering chicken next week and invited me to join.

S: Teacher!  What kind of chicken do you like?  What style?
M: I'll eat anything really, just nothing crazy hot and spicy.
S: How about no....no...mmmmmm chicken?
M: What?
(Student slaps her arm and makes many "uhms" and "aah"'s while trying to think.)
S: Ah!  Teacher!  Do you like no bone chicken?
M: Boneless chicken?  Sure.
S: HAHA OMG NO BONE CHICKEN = BONELESS CHICKEN HAHA!

She and another kid proceed to lose it over her apparently ridiculous guess of "no bone chicken"for "boneless".  When another CT came in, she also relayed the story and her mistake and they cracked up all over again.  I don't think my CT had any idea why they found it so funny either.  High schoolers are weird. :huh:
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: rhchris1 on January 08, 2016, 12:51:27 pm
The other day I had a student that didn't do his homework.  I told him he was in trouble.  He then stared at me for a second, put his hand up in front of his face, waved it, and said, "Teacher, you can't see me."  If you know WWE, you know why he's become my favorite student. 
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: nermal on March 15, 2016, 09:40:25 am
Students were open to ask questions about me for our first class.

"Teacher, do you like Wikipedia?"
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: DMZabductee on March 15, 2016, 10:08:30 am
Students were open to ask questions about me for our first class.

"Teacher, do you like Wikipedia?"

Intro classes I usually open the floor to any questions about me for about 5 minutes. 95% of the time this goes smoothly.

Yesterday I got this one (I'm an atheist but don't really wanna touch the subject of religion with a ten foot pole),

"Teacher, do you believe in God?"

Uhmmm.... ok.... usually my first grade middle school kids ask me about kpop and how old I am. Caught me completely off guard.

I said something about "loving everyone equally", but the kid asked AGAIN. He wouldn't quit and everyone was waiting and listening (why now of all times did everyone decide to be polite and attentive?!) for what felt like a really long time...

Finally I just said I wasn't gonna answer. Kid was visibly disturbed. Sorry, bruh.
Title: Re: Tell Me Funny L/R, B/P, J/Z Sentences Your Student Said
Post by: robobob9000 on March 15, 2016, 03:24:18 pm
In a high school lesson on favorite foods, one student wrote that he likes "folk lips".

This was during my first year, so I was a bit nonplussed.  Today, of course, I would instantly recognise that as "pork ribs".
This is a really interesting one. I saw this yesterday, one of my best middle school students made the same lips/ribs mistake. I can understand the R/L and P/B confusion in speech because the Korean ㄹ/ㅂ sound is kinda halfway between the two approximate English equivalents, and the sound changes depending upon it's location inside the word. But I wasn't expecting to see the same mistake in writing, where the difference is more clear.

I guess she learned the word through speech instead of writing, but her listening skills weren't good enough to transcribe it to writing correctly. It was fascinating to see a pronunciation difficulty translate into a spelling difficulty.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: Loki88 on March 15, 2016, 03:40:06 pm
Students were open to ask questions about me for our first class.

"Teacher, do you like Wikipedia?"

Intro classes I usually open the floor to any questions about me for about 5 minutes. 95% of the time this goes smoothly.

Yesterday I got this one (I'm an atheist but don't really wanna touch the subject of religion with a ten foot pole),

"Teacher, do you believe in God?"

Uhmmm.... ok.... usually my first grade middle school kids ask me about kpop and how old I am. Caught me completely off guard.

I said something about "loving everyone equally", but the kid asked AGAIN. He wouldn't quit and everyone was waiting and listening (why now of all times did everyone decide to be polite and attentive?!) for what felt like a really long time...

Finally I just said I wasn't gonna answer. Kid was visibly disturbed. Sorry, bruh.

Go with the ,I'm  whatever you want me to be approach. It works well for the personal questions from randoms.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: DMZabductee on March 15, 2016, 04:01:36 pm
Students were open to ask questions about me for our first class.

"Teacher, do you like Wikipedia?"

Intro classes I usually open the floor to any questions about me for about 5 minutes. 95% of the time this goes smoothly.

Yesterday I got this one (I'm an atheist but don't really wanna touch the subject of religion with a ten foot pole),

"Teacher, do you believe in God?"

Uhmmm.... ok.... usually my first grade middle school kids ask me about kpop and how old I am. Caught me completely off guard.

I said something about "loving everyone equally", but the kid asked AGAIN. He wouldn't quit and everyone was waiting and listening (why now of all times did everyone decide to be polite and attentive?!) for what felt like a really long time...

Finally I just said I wasn't gonna answer. Kid was visibly disturbed. Sorry, bruh.

Go with the ,I'm  whatever you want me to be approach. It works well for the personal questions from randoms.

Yeah in hindsight that would've been the best approach. I was just caught a little flat footed in the moment.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: nomadicmadda on March 15, 2016, 04:17:38 pm
Yeah in hindsight that would've been the best approach. I was just caught a little flat footed in the moment.

I know that feel :/  All my kids used to ask if I was single or not, and I just laugh and tell them that's private.  I've never been asked, but I'd do the same with religion.  Also works as a teaching moment about how some questions/comments that are common here can be rude or a bit too bold in foreign cultures.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: nomadicmadda on March 15, 2016, 04:37:28 pm
On the flip side, I did a numbers review lesson and included an intro to currencies around the world (shopping is next), and had this hilarious moment.  I was showing slides from each country and asking random questions about the money (who is on it, is it colorful, is $1 a coin or a bill), and when I got to England I asked who "this lady" was on all of their paper money.

Some over-excited boy shouted out, "ANGELINA JOLIE!" and I couldn't help bursting out laughing  :laugh:
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: BTeacher on March 15, 2016, 05:39:21 pm
A new 11-year-old student told me last week:

"I was born on March 4th. That's unlucky. So I think I will die on March 4th."
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: weigookin74 on March 15, 2016, 07:35:36 pm
Last year Middle School Girl randomly blurts out :  "Teacher you're so very handsome, but I already have a boyfriend."

Me:  What?  (Thinking: I wasn't asking about you and I really didn't want to know.) 

Title: Re: Tell Me Funny L/R, B/P, J/Z Sentences Your Student Said
Post by: weigookin74 on March 15, 2016, 07:37:05 pm
S: " Teacher, do you like the bitch?"
me: "Do I like the what?"
S: "The bitch....the she.......Ocean!"
me: "Ohhhhh the beaaaccchhhhhhh"

That's pronounced bea-chie.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: DMZabductee on March 16, 2016, 08:30:43 am
Yeah in hindsight that would've been the best approach. I was just caught a little flat footed in the moment.

I know that feel :/  All my kids used to ask if I was single or not, and I just laugh and tell them that's private.  I've never been asked, but I'd do the same with religion.  Also works as a teaching moment about how some questions/comments that are common here can be rude or a bit too bold in foreign cultures.

I would definitely tell any random adult who asks about my personal life that that's none of their business. The thing is I make a big point of saying that on the first day (only) the kids can ask me ANYTHING as it usually opens them up and we can relax and have a laugh and they feel like they got to know me a bit, which helps later on.

I also have a lesson about rude behavior and speech in different places and cultures so I do cover that down the road. But in the future I guess I just need to remember that my work "face" and my real "face" are two different things and sometimes it's better to go along to get along...

Reading that last sentence made me think maybe I've been here too long   :undecided:
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: Imogen1991 on March 16, 2016, 08:47:51 am
On the flip side, I did a numbers review lesson and included an intro to currencies around the world (shopping is next), and had this hilarious moment.  I was showing slides from each country and asking random questions about the money (who is on it, is it colorful, is $1 a coin or a bill), and when I got to England I asked who "this lady" was on all of their paper money.

Some over-excited boy shouted out, "ANGELINA JOLIE!" and I couldn't help bursting out laughing  :laugh:

Hahaha this made me laugh out loud
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: MissSA on March 16, 2016, 09:45:52 am
I was playing a game with my 1st graders (middle school) and they have to choose letter of the alphabet and answer the corresponding question. There are 30 questions so 1-26 are capital letters and 27-30 are small letter.

I was trying to get the kid to tell me whether he wanted the big A or the small a, and he said "Teacher, you... big-". Now I'm a little on the plump side, so immediately the whole class started freaking out that he'd called me fat. He spent the next 10 minutes a furious red, and apologising over and over while I just laughed.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: courtneym on March 16, 2016, 11:00:14 am
Two boys were rough-housing in the hallway. One of them was holding the other in a loose headlock, so I asked them 'What are you doing?' as I walked by. The boy in the headlock looked at me and said: "Teacher, he's showing me his love."

I lost it haha.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: Chuck on March 16, 2016, 12:58:50 pm
Reviewing maladies and injuries with middle school first graders a student said, "What do you call it? [ʃɪt] don't come."
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: amgoalng on March 18, 2016, 01:48:44 pm
This just happened to me.  A little boy, grade 4, was just staring at me in the hall.  Then he panted like a dog at me and walked away.  I am so confused.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: nomadicmadda on March 18, 2016, 08:15:17 pm
Showed this picture--OF A TANK TOP, PEOPLE, IT'S A TANK TOP--to my 2nd year high schoolers today as we were reviewing clothing:

(http://assets.burdastyle.com/patterns/technical_drawings/000/000/641/July_115_tech_drawing_large.jpg?1282614968)
It was appropriately sized in between a T-shirt and a button down. 

When I asked what it was, I got:
"bra"
"brassier"
"Brazil"
"sports bra"
"bikini"
"swimming bra"
"corset"

(https://tctechcrunch2011.files.wordpress.com/2012/06/912accb5_picard-facepalm.png?w=150)
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: nomadicmadda on March 30, 2016, 08:30:36 am
Yesterday my 1st year students were completing a worksheet, and I was walking around checking their work and answering questions.  I got to these two boys and one of them farted.  His neighbor dramatically covered his face and was like, "OH GOD WAS THAT YOU?!" and the culprit just started nervously giggling.  His friend kept trying to embarrass him further by making it a big deal so he starts going, "Aaaaaah kimochi!!!!" and I couldn't resist cracking up :laugh:
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: kchan91 on March 30, 2016, 12:55:27 pm
So, at this school, sometimes we have English activities with about 200 students in an auditorium. Each class gets points if they cheer really well and loud.

So, me and another foreigner are leading the activity and we're both of the dark-skinned variety of waygookins. After getting each class to cheer individually and judging which class was the best, the other teacher awarded one team some points for cheering the best. Then one kid from another team points at this teacher and says out of nowhere, "RACIST!"

Me and the other teacher had a good laugh~
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: CO2 on March 30, 2016, 01:08:51 pm
So, at this school, sometimes we have English activities with about 200 students in an auditorium. Each class gets points if they cheer really well and loud.

So, me and another foreigner are leading the activity and we're both of the dark-skinned variety of waygookins. After getting each class to cheer individually and judging which class was the best, the other teacher awarded one team some points for cheering the best. Then one kid from another team points at this teacher and says out of nowhere, "RACIST!"

Me and the other teacher had a good laugh~

I would have considered it class warfare.  :wink:
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: kyndo on March 30, 2016, 01:46:35 pm
So, at this school, sometimes we have English activities with about 200 students in an auditorium. Each class gets points if they cheer really well and loud.

So, me and another foreigner are leading the activity and we're both of the dark-skinned variety of waygookins. After getting each class to cheer individually and judging which class was the best, the other teacher awarded one team some points for cheering the best. Then one kid from another team points at this teacher and says out of nowhere, "RACIST!"
Me and the other teacher had a good laugh~

I would have considered it class warfare.  :wink:
Niiiice (http://image.noelshack.com/fichiers/2014/31/1406833038-niiiice.jpg).
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: meepmoopimmarobots on June 16, 2016, 06:19:50 pm
I present to you the (unretouched) work of a student I will call "Rihanna":

I create my own holiday which is called "A-Cup Day." Every A-cup girl will takes a party and celebrates her small boobs. A-cup girls can sleep easily and when they are running, they can never feel a hefty roll of flab overhanging their breast. Big boobs girls must serve small boobs girls and say "I love small boobs, small boobs is the best, you deserve it!" Big boobs girls must praise the girls with small boobs. Anyway, on this day, small boobs girls can have SEX with each handsome boy which they want to. Because you know, small boobs= Better sex. And the most important thing is that you can wear whatever the **** you want in this holiday. But you must remember Rihanna is the queen in "A-Cup Day." She is the only girl who has the most complanate airport in the class.


Finals are next week, can you tell?

(P.S.- "Airport" is Chinese slang for flatties.)
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: donovan on June 16, 2016, 06:53:53 pm
I present to you the (unretouched) work of a student I will call "Rihanna":

I create my own holiday which is called "A-Cup Day." Every A-cup girl will takes a party and celebrates her small boobs. A-cup girls can sleep easily and when they are running, they can never feel a hefty roll of flab overhanging their breast. Big boobs girls must serve small boobs girls and say "I love small boobs, small boobs is the best, you deserve it!" Big boobs girls must praise the girls with small boobs. Anyway, on this day, small boobs girls can have SEX with each handsome boy which they want to. Because you know, small boobs= Better sex. And the most important thing is that you can wear whatever the **** you want in this holiday. But you must remember Rihanna is the queen in "A-Cup Day." She is the only girl who has the most complanate airport in the class.


Finals are next week, can you tell?

(P.S.- "Airport" is Chinese slang for flatties.)
That's precious :laugh: Airport pride!
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: donovan on June 16, 2016, 07:05:56 pm
Showed this picture--OF A TANK TOP, PEOPLE, IT'S A TANK TOP--to my 2nd year high schoolers today as we were reviewing clothing:

(http://assets.burdastyle.com/patterns/technical_drawings/000/000/641/July_115_tech_drawing_large.jpg?1282614968)
It was appropriately sized in between a T-shirt and a button down. 

When I asked what it was, I got:
"bra"
"brassier"
"Brazil"
"sports bra"
"bikini"
"swimming bra"
"corset"

(https://tctechcrunch2011.files.wordpress.com/2012/06/912accb5_picard-facepalm.png?w=150)
Not a camisole?
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: nomadicmadda on June 16, 2016, 10:12:11 pm
Not a camisole?

A camisole is specifically an undergarment, and we were discussing clothing for daily wear.  For the purpose of our class, it was also used as a cultural discussion point .  In western countries, spaghetti-strap tank tops can be worn as outerwear whereas in Korea they would be undergarments alone.  Camisole would have been an acceptable answer to highlight that difference, but c'mon, it's clearly not a bra :laugh:

(http://www.maykool.com/media/catalog/product/cache/1/image/9df78eab33525d08d6e5fb8d27136e95/r/e/red-plunging-v-neck-spaghetti-straps-tank-025975.jpg)
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: JahMoo on June 17, 2016, 07:47:29 am
I present to you the (unretouched) work of a student I will call "Rihanna":

I create my own holiday which is called "A-Cup Day." Every A-cup girl will takes a party and celebrates her small boobs. A-cup girls can sleep easily and when they are running, they can never feel a hefty roll of flab overhanging their breast. Big boobs girls must serve small boobs girls and say "I love small boobs, small boobs is the best, you deserve it!" Big boobs girls must praise the girls with small boobs. Anyway, on this day, small boobs girls can have SEX with each handsome boy which they want to. Because you know, small boobs= Better sex. And the most important thing is that you can wear whatever the **** you want in this holiday. But you must remember Rihanna is the queen in "A-Cup Day." She is the only girl who has the most complanate airport in the class.


Finals are next week, can you tell?

(P.S.- "Airport" is Chinese slang for flatties.)
That's precious :laugh: Airport pride!

Rihanna is great. Lol but I'm hoping she's a high school student, otherwise I'm wondering where she learned these words lol.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: Chinguetti on June 17, 2016, 07:53:59 am
Rihanna is great. Lol but I'm hoping she's a high school student, otherwise I'm wondering where she learned these words lol.

All of my middle school kids know them. They're always really keen to drop them as often as possible at the beginning of the school year before I instill in them a fear of utterance so great that the words disappear into the void of the hallways where they remain until the coming of the next school year.

I'm pretty sure they learn all of this in elementary school.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: HaLo3 on June 17, 2016, 08:03:40 am
We had a bee fly into the classroom and I ignored it and kept teaching... until one of my students pointed at it and screamed "TEACHER, HONEY MONSTER!!!!"
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: yirj17 on June 17, 2016, 08:21:54 am
Was playing dodgeball with the students and got hit by the ball but apparently nobody noticed. When I went to go be "out" a student on my team shouted, "No! Teacher, you need to be liar!!"  :laugh: :laugh:
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: chronocider on June 17, 2016, 09:06:31 am
I don't remember the context exactly but a a student explained to me:

"Teacher, dong is English poo poo."

I think he was trying to say, dong is the korean word for poo. Not a bad try.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: meepmoopimmarobots on June 17, 2016, 09:07:28 am
I present to you the (unretouched) work of a student I will call "Rihanna":

I create my own holiday which is called "A-Cup Day." Every A-cup girl will takes a party and celebrates her small boobs. A-cup girls can sleep easily and when they are running, they can never feel a hefty roll of flab overhanging their breast. Big boobs girls must serve small boobs girls and say "I love small boobs, small boobs is the best, you deserve it!" Big boobs girls must praise the girls with small boobs. Anyway, on this day, small boobs girls can have SEX with each handsome boy which they want to. Because you know, small boobs= Better sex. And the most important thing is that you can wear whatever the **** you want in this holiday. But you must remember Rihanna is the queen in "A-Cup Day." She is the only girl who has the most complanate airport in the class.


Finals are next week, can you tell?

(P.S.- "Airport" is Chinese slang for flatties.)
That's precious :laugh: Airport pride!

Rihanna is great. Lol but I'm hoping she's a high school student, otherwise I'm wondering where she learned these words lol.

Hahaha, don't worry, she is! And I SWEAR I didn't teach her these words!

Literally the first thing she said to me was "You look like Kat Dennings" (I don't) "and you have really big boobs! Why do you have big boobs and [other teacher] has such small boobs? I asked her, too, and she said she didn't know."

She's obsessed with boobs and butts. She also made a pillow with my face on it and gave it to me. She's the best!
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: The Arm on June 17, 2016, 09:19:49 am
We had a bee fly into the classroom and I ignored it and kept teaching... until one of my students pointed at it and screamed "TEACHER, HONEY MONSTER!!!!"

 :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: yirgacheffe on June 17, 2016, 09:40:56 am
One of my co-teachers, we'll just call him K Teacher, is a younger guy, only about four or five years older than me. A few of the fifth grade girls came up to me one time:

S1: Teacher! You love K Teacher?
Me: I love everyone.
S1-3: Nooooo, you love K Teacher?
Me: Yes, because I love everyone.
S2: Teacher, K Teacher love you!
Me: Yes, he loves everyone, too.
S2: Noooo! He love you and only you! And you love him and only him!
Me: *awkward*
S3: Teacher! You and K Teacher 단~단다단! (wedding march) Yes?
Me: No. Goodbye. *walk away*

 :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: So awkward though...

Similar conversation happened last year with the sixth graders and my other male co-teacher at the time.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: kriztee on June 17, 2016, 10:14:25 am
My 6th graders are creepily obsessed with my eyes. One came into my office one day for paper then looked me dead in the eye creepily and said "Teacher. Your eyes are so big. I want to steal them."

A while later I had one of the boys tell me my eyes are big and beautiful like Kog'maw. I'm not sure how to take that.

(https://encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQ8gjYj24z8Ll6H7NaMYPdg0w0jdHSDBQOOIza-EJq2gV0nFJmzjqw2png)
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: meepmoopimmarobots on June 17, 2016, 10:29:12 am
MESSI: Hey, Meeps, you look so beautiful today.

ME: Thanks, Messi.

MESSI: JUST KIDDING!!!!!! You are SO UGLY!

ME: Oh, yeah? Well, I'm ugly, but you have an F.

MESSI: Yeah, you're ugly outside and I'm ugly in my brain.

Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: welcomebackkotter on June 17, 2016, 10:38:59 am
In middle school. 

S1 (3rd grade boy) [comes skipping in with his friend before class]: Teacher! I am girl!
Me: No, you're a boy.
S1: No! Teacher! I am girl.
S2: (also boy): Really? Marry me?
S1: Okay.
S2. Yay. [goes down on knee and pretends to give ring].

Awwww
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: kyndo on June 17, 2016, 11:21:13 am
A while later I had one of the boys tell me my eyes are big and beautiful like Kog'maw. I'm not sure how to take that.

He was probably thinking of one of the more attractive Kog'maw skins.

Look at these big blue eyes! (http://ddragon.leagueoflegends.com/cdn/img/champion/splash/KogMaw_6.jpg)

So beautiful! (http://ddragon.leagueoflegends.com/cdn/img/champion/splash/KogMaw_3.jpg)
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: SkidMarx on June 17, 2016, 11:59:45 am
One grade 5 student one day asks me if I have any tattoos.

I say "No, I don't have any tattoos."

Without missing a beat she says "Me too."
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: JahMoo on June 17, 2016, 12:02:25 pm
A while later I had one of the boys tell me my eyes are big and beautiful like Kog'maw. I'm not sure how to take that.

He was probably thinking of one of the more attractive Kog'maw skins.

Look at these big blue eyes! (http://ddragon.leagueoflegends.com/cdn/img/champion/splash/KogMaw_6.jpg)

So beautiful! (http://ddragon.leagueoflegends.com/cdn/img/champion/splash/KogMaw_3.jpg)

Wait. What are these? Is it a reference to a movie or videogame?
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: nomadicmadda on June 17, 2016, 12:13:54 pm
Yeah, you're ugly outside and I'm ugly in my brain.
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: At least he can take what he dishes out.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: kyndo on June 17, 2016, 01:42:51 pm
A while later I had one of the boys tell me my eyes are big and beautiful like Kog'maw. I'm not sure how to take that.
He was probably thinking of one of the more attractive Kog'maw skins.

Look at these big blue eyes! (http://ddragon.leagueoflegends.com/cdn/img/champion/splash/KogMaw_6.jpg)

So beautiful! (http://ddragon.leagueoflegends.com/cdn/img/champion/splash/KogMaw_3.jpg)

Wait. What are these? Is it a reference to a movie or videogame?
Ha! I can tell that you don't teach middle-school boys!
But yes, it is one of the "champions" in League of Legends (popular online computer game)... which is currently 95% percent of all speaking test responses to the question "What did you do last weekend?"  :rolleyes:
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: pkjh on June 17, 2016, 01:48:17 pm
One time a middle kid was eating some snacks at school going up some stairs. Then he managed to trip on the top, and last stair and spill his snack all over the ground. Next word I heard out him was 'shit'. Perfect use of an English curse word. I congratulated him on the usage, and said, try not to make it so loud if an adult is around.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: yirj17 on June 17, 2016, 01:52:50 pm
A while later I had one of the boys tell me my eyes are big and beautiful like Kog'maw. I'm not sure how to take that.
He was probably thinking of one of the more attractive Kog'maw skins.

Look at these big blue eyes! (http://ddragon.leagueoflegends.com/cdn/img/champion/splash/KogMaw_6.jpg)

So beautiful! (http://ddragon.leagueoflegends.com/cdn/img/champion/splash/KogMaw_3.jpg)

Wait. What are these? Is it a reference to a movie or videogame?
Ha! I can tell that you don't teach middle-school boys!
But yes, it is one of the "champions" in League of Legends (popular online computer game)... which is currently 95% percent of all speaking test responses to the question "What did you do last weekend?"  :rolleyes:

Haha yup! Here's a typical exchange with my middle school boys:

Me: What did you do last weekend?
Student 1: I played computer games!
Me: What did you play?
Student 1: LoL! Do you know League of Legends?
...a bit more blah blah before moving on to another student.

Me: What did you do last weekend?
Student 2: I played computer games!
Me: Ah, did you play LoL?
Student 2: Yeah!
Me: Did you play with Student 1?
Student 2: Yeah!
...some more blah blah. And this is how it goes for maybe 3/4ths of my middle school boys. Lol
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: yeticorn on June 17, 2016, 03:15:56 pm
Me: What did you do last weekend?
Student 2: I played computer games!
Me: Ah, did you play LoL?
Student 2: Yeah!
Me: Did you play with Student 1?
Student 2: Yeah!
...some more blah blah. And this is how it goes for maybe 3/4ths of my middle school boys. Lol

LoL is hilarious to talk about with Middle School Boys if you know anything about it at all. Pick the cockiest one of the bunch and ask him about what character he plays. They turn to his friends and ask if he's a troll--and watch the hijinks.

The kids are pretty quickly converting to the game Overwatch though. So prepare for their "weekend" answers to change to the new flavor of the week!
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: meepmoopimmarobots on June 17, 2016, 04:09:02 pm
Yeah, you're ugly outside and I'm ugly in my brain.
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: At least he can take what he dishes out.

haha, yeah, he's a quick wit! He has improved a lot this year, so he doesn't actually have an F anymore, but he's reeeeeally uncomfortable with praise and is just generally immature, so he teases everyone he likes and I tease him back.  :laugh:

Regarding this student and his best friend, they managed to give each other scabies (NO I DO NOT NEED TO KNOW HOW) and their classmates explained this to me by using the phrase "Messi and Victor went home because they have a pestilence."
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: meepmoopimmarobots on June 20, 2016, 11:38:07 am
Remedial class:


LEO: "Someday, my English will be so great."

ME: "yeah? What do you plan to do when your English improves?"

LEO: *staring wistfully into the distance* "I will go to the Australia...I ride motorbike. I ride motorbike next to water. Long golden hair...flying...it flying in the wind."

ME: "Um...your hair?"

LEO: "YES. So beautiful."

*discussion occurs*

LEO: "Oh, shit, girl! GIRL HAIR! I no golden hair, I am Chinese guy!"

TOM: "You are Chinese gay, not guy."

LEO: "F*ck you mother!"
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: emmas28 on June 20, 2016, 01:04:52 pm
During the a lesson with my 6th graders we were discussing what questions you would ask someone who you met for the first time. We somehow made it onto the topic of blood type...

S1: Teacher, what is your blood type?
Me: I don't know.
S1: You don't know? What if you go to the hospital?
S2: Teacher dies.

 :-[
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: Hodlpu on June 20, 2016, 01:06:07 pm
No really something they say, but my students like to touch my arm hair.  I think they do it instinctively as well because I would be having a normal conversation with them, then their hands would suddenly start petting my arm like a cat. 
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: Mister Tim on June 20, 2016, 03:01:19 pm
Me: Does anyone know what a baby horse is called?
Student: Horse have big penis.


(http://vignette3.wikia.nocookie.net/spiderman/images/4/44/Meme_poker_face_(2).png/revision/latest?cb=20130904185235)
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: flyingspider on June 20, 2016, 03:26:05 pm
6th grade Student 1: Teacher! He said a bad word!
Student 2: No no!
S1 (who is all to happy to tell on his classmate): Yes! He said “f-u-c-k!”
S2 (slightly panicked): No teacher! Funk! Uptown funk!

So I sang a bit of Uptown Funk and he was so relieved that I knew he wasn`t swearing.

Also one of my 3rd grade classes now has two hamsters as class pets and their names are “Ham” and “Ster.”
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: meepmoopimmarobots on June 22, 2016, 12:07:53 pm
Here's an interesting "essay" from the remedial 11th grade class. I have bolded my favorite part and cleaned up some punctuation, but other than that, I have not changed anything:


Today, I with my girlfriend Fay to go to Hainai. We took my all money (just $100,000) to travel. I tell her don't bring any money, because I am rich! but she says "Don't **** with me, I don't love your money!" and then I'm no words.

When we arrived Hainan, we want to go to hotel and take a room, and then we go to hotel room, and taking a room. I'm very happy, and then, we go into the room, and giving a hug to my girlfriend, say "I will protect you, I love you!" She has a little shy, and then she kiss me..........

When we back to [hometown], we are getting marry, and she is so happies.

This story will happen in "not long future"...........



I just thought that was so cute. :3

I swear, this is a HUGE improvement from the beginning of the year when "[classmate] is gay" and "I like ride motorbike" were pretty much the only things anyone could say.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: The Arm on June 22, 2016, 12:36:24 pm
The most interesting speaking test response so far:

Me: What did you do at the weekend?

Him:  I played masturbation (mimes it with his hand).  Teacher, do you know masturbation?

Me:  Yea  :huh:
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: nomadicmadda on June 22, 2016, 12:47:18 pm
The Arm knows masturbation well :wink: #punintended

Also omg I haven't checked this thread  for a hot minute but all of your more recent replies had me stifling laughter in the office!!!
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: Chinguetti on June 22, 2016, 01:48:52 pm
Me: Do you think I should visit North Korea?
Student: Yes.
Me: Why?
Student: Because good exercise.
Me: Why is it good exercise?
Student: Work camp.
Me: What if I die?
Student: You did good job. Die well.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: meepmoopimmarobots on June 22, 2016, 02:34:15 pm
Me: Do you think I should visit North Korea?
Student: Yes.
Me: Why?
Student: Because good exercise.
Me: Why is it good exercise?
Student: Work camp.
Me: What if I die?
Student: You did good job. Die well.

This is ****** genius.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: yirj17 on June 22, 2016, 02:38:04 pm
Some students were practicing dialogue in class today. I usually give them a skeleton to work with and then they fill in the blanks. This was today's gem:

S1: Who do you think would win in a fight? [Student A] or [Student B]?
S2: I think [Student B] would win.
S1: What makes you think so?
S2: Because he is good at throwing metal chopsticks.

 :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: DMZabductee on June 22, 2016, 02:57:58 pm
Me: "What's your favorite summer sport?"

Smart ass student 1 (male): "Bikini watching!"

Other students: hahahahaha

Smart ass student 2: "He likes wear bikini too!"

Smart ass student 1: smirks "끼모띠!" 8)

Me: Ok, that was funny...
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: meepmoopimmarobots on June 22, 2016, 06:02:58 pm
Some highlights from Rihanna's final exam:

"When it comes to me, I personally tend to believe that USA is the best place for me.

Firstly, goddess Meeps comes from America. She has amazing boobs. I love beautiful girls with big boobs. Probably I don't have them. I'm pretty sure that I will enjoy these superb boobs. In USA, I can enjoy them all day.

The most important thing is that the development of USA which is attract me most. I want to learn more knowledge. And I want to China become one of the most powerful country."


From her essay about what she would do on a dream date, after a longish passage about traditional Chinese cultural sites in our city:

"...[city]'s restrooms have a natural culture." (Note: I asked. yes, this was a bacteria joke.) "There are many holes and you can pee in them. He will feel comfortable and fall in love with [city] restrooms (And married me.)"

She concluded her essay by drawing two turds and writing "take some!" underneath.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: yirj17 on June 28, 2016, 12:33:01 pm
With my limited Korean, I understood a 3rd grader being a goober:

Student 1: "I have boogers!"
Student 2: "Really?"
Student 1: "Boogers are delicious!!"

I snorted and couldn't contain my laughter  :laugh:
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: defenderoftherealm on June 28, 2016, 01:16:13 pm
Me: "What's your favorite summer sport?"

Smart ass student 1 (male): "Bikini watching!"

Other students: hahahahaha

Smart ass student 2: "He likes wear bikini too!"

Smart ass student 1: smirks "끼모띠!" 8)

Me: Ok, that was funny...

What is kkimoddi?  What does it mean?  My kids say it all the time.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: DMZabductee on June 28, 2016, 02:22:42 pm
Me: "What's your favorite summer sport?"

Smart ass student 1 (male): "Bikini watching!"

Other students: hahahahaha

Smart ass student 2: "He likes wear bikini too!"

Smart ass student 1: smirks "끼모띠!" 8)

Me: Ok, that was funny...

What is kkimoddi?  What does it mean?  My kids say it all the time.

끼모띠/끼모찌 just means "feels good". BUT it's got a pervy sexual connotation; the kids say it is cause they heard it in Japanese porn and therefore it's kinda "dangerous". I'd been hearing it a lot and learned what it meant from another waygook thread on bad words.

I actually try to discourage it's use in class, but this kid's face and timing were pretty funny so I had to laugh...  :laugh:
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: gagevt on June 28, 2016, 02:31:29 pm
Me: "What's your favorite summer sport?"

Smart ass student 1 (male): "Bikini watching!"

Other students: hahahahaha

Smart ass student 2: "He likes wear bikini too!"

Smart ass student 1: smirks "끼모띠!" 8)

Me: Ok, that was funny...

What is kkimoddi?  What does it mean?  My kids say it all the time.

끼모띠/끼모찌 just means "feels good". BUT it's got a pervy sexual connotation; the kids say it is cause they heard it in Japanese porn and therefore it's kinda "dangerous". I'd been hearing it a lot and learned what it meant from another waygook thread on bad words.

I actually try to discourage it's use in class, but this kid's face and timing were pretty funny so I had to laugh...  :laugh:

This is right, but I'm really curious about exactly when and from what viral trend it started. I NEVER used to hear this in school or Korean online games until several months ago. Now it's EVERYWHERE. I even have 4th grade ele students using it, and really sweet and innocent students that I never would have expected to hear it from. Surprising to say the least.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: meepmoopimmarobots on June 28, 2016, 02:37:38 pm
Particularly dopey because it's not an inherently sexual term. And it's not "kimoddi," it's kim-o-chee. Get it right, children of Korea!  :cheesy:
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: DMZabductee on June 28, 2016, 02:39:02 pm

This is right, but I'm really curious about exactly when and from what viral trend it started. I NEVER used to hear this in school or Korean online games until several months ago. Now it's EVERYWHERE. I even have 4th grade ele students using it, and really sweet and innocent students that I never would have expected to hear it from. Surprising to say the least.

Yeah at this point it's just a meme that's caught on, and soon enough any shock value that it has should wear off. I hope...

Anyway, I remember first hearing it (in middle school) this year March/April, but I think others were already hearing it last year. Your fourth graders probably don't really grasp the full meaning, and are just copying others when they say it.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: CO2 on June 28, 2016, 02:39:50 pm
"Teacher, I have a head-egg."

Almost  :undecided:
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: Paul on June 28, 2016, 02:45:00 pm
We're going though hair and clothing vocabulary from the textbook: "And what are these?" Every class responds "shorts" or "short pants" (huh?). One yells out "HOT PANTS!"

Hot pants it is, kid.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: gagevt on June 28, 2016, 02:49:44 pm
Particularly dopey because it's not an inherently sexual term. And it's not "kimoddi," it's kim-o-chee. Get it right, children of Korea!  :cheesy:

Yeah agreed lol. Though I think they like to use different pronunciations in an attempt to make it sound "cute" like how they do with typical Korean words. I've seen too many different spellings and pronunciations at this point to count.


This is right, but I'm really curious about exactly when and from what viral trend it started. I NEVER used to hear this in school or Korean online games until several months ago. Now it's EVERYWHERE. I even have 4th grade ele students using it, and really sweet and innocent students that I never would have expected to hear it from. Surprising to say the least.

Yeah at this point it's just a meme that's caught on, and soon enough any shock value that it has should wear off. I hope...

Anyway, I remember first hearing it (in middle school) this year March/April, but I think others were already hearing it last year. Your fourth graders probably don't really grasp the full meaning, and are just copying others when they say it.

I hope so too.. I get its appeal, but it's just old now and way overused.

Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: donovan on June 28, 2016, 03:16:02 pm
We're going though hair and clothing vocabulary from the textbook: "And what are these?" Every class responds "shorts" or "short pants" (huh?).

Are "short pants" not British English? I've only ever heard the phrase here in Korea and always considered it some Konglish approximation of "shorts" (and wrong), but if that were true wouldn't they be saying "half pants" (반바지)? Then I think I saw the term online somewhere (maybe here) and assumed it was British English. Just doing an internet search now I found that DIESEL brand calls them "short pants", but they're an Italian brand...
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: Imogen1991 on June 28, 2016, 03:19:13 pm
We're going though hair and clothing vocabulary from the textbook: "And what are these?" Every class responds "shorts" or "short pants" (huh?).

Are "short pants" not British English? I've only ever heard the phrase here in Korea and always considered it some Konglish approximation of "shorts" (and wrong), but if that were true wouldn't they be saying "half pants" (반바지)? Then I think I saw the term online somewhere (maybe here) and assumed it was British English. Just doing an internet search now I found that DIESEL brand calls them "short pants", but they're an Italian brand...

short pants are definitely not british english  :laugh: pants are your underwear
we'd just call 'em shorts
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: Paul on June 28, 2016, 03:38:48 pm
Yeah, so its not American, its not British and I can tell you that its not Australian either. I also don't recall it ever even coming up in Japan.

* * *

Had another one today actually. I rarely get to teach the first lesson in a given unit, sadly (always playing catch-up if you get my drift) but today was a lucky day. One of the nice things is that you can bust out all the fancy motivations, the book work is short and sweet, and there's a double page lead-in section to elicit prior knowledge which can be amusing at times. Great.

So I ask what they can see, what words do they know, etc. It's a Cheonjae book, specifically the one written by primary school teachers in service, the chapter is 'Help Yourself', there's a table covered with a spread of food and a mother and her child cooking. We're mostly eliciting food and I getting them to count things and ease them into the use of the word 'some' where appropriate.

So one kid says very clearly: "wine" (or "some wine", can't recall). But he's right. Cheonjae have gone and not only slapped a bottle of wine front and centre, but the child is actively reaching for it in the picture. "Uhh, I think that might be juice... or like, grapeseed... oil..." "No teacher, wine."

The class concurred. They're 4th graders. Had to give them the wink wink "Let's just call it juice, please."
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: JNM on June 28, 2016, 05:23:28 pm
We're going though hair and clothing vocabulary from the textbook: "And what are these?" Every class responds "shorts" or "short pants" (huh?).

Are "short pants" not British English? I've only ever heard the phrase here in Korea and always considered it some Konglish approximation of "shorts" (and wrong), but if that were true wouldn't they be saying "half pants" (반바지)? Then I think I saw the term online somewhere (maybe here) and assumed it was British English. Just doing an internet search now I found that DIESEL brand calls them "short pants", but they're an Italian brand...

short pants are definitely not british english  :laugh: pants are your underwear
we'd just call 'em shorts

It is used in the expression, "I've been []ing since you were in short pants!"
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: donovan on June 28, 2016, 06:46:14 pm
It is used in the expression, "I've been []ing since you were in short pants!"

Sure, but sounds antiquated. You'd have to be fairly up in age just to qualify using that expression. My guess is the kids make it up themselves on the spot, knowing vaguely the word shorts, but feeling awkward using it as a noun when they know short to be an adjective, and wanting to throw 바지 into the mix, a known noun.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: Imogen1991 on June 29, 2016, 12:05:18 pm
We're going though hair and clothing vocabulary from the textbook: "And what are these?" Every class responds "shorts" or "short pants" (huh?).

Are "short pants" not British English? I've only ever heard the phrase here in Korea and always considered it some Konglish approximation of "shorts" (and wrong), but if that were true wouldn't they be saying "half pants" (반바지)? Then I think I saw the term online somewhere (maybe here) and assumed it was British English. Just doing an internet search now I found that DIESEL brand calls them "short pants", but they're an Italian brand...

short pants are definitely not british english  :laugh: pants are your underwear
we'd just call 'em shorts

It is used in the expression, "I've been []ing since you were in short pants!"
Oh god I read this as 'I've been []ing you since you were in short pants'
Glad I re-read that one
Also I've never heard that phrase, the way you actually wrote it OR the way i misread it  :laugh:
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: Chinguetti on June 29, 2016, 12:19:11 pm
Me: How are you?
Student: Not so good. Very hungry.
Me: What do you plan to do this weekend?
Student: Eat lots of food.
Me: What about this summer?
Student: Eat lots of food.
Me: Okay... what is your hobby?
Student: Eating food.
Me: That's it?
Student: I like food.
Me: What about LoL?
Student: You know Kog'Maw?
Me: ... yeah?
Student: I eat.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: yirj17 on June 29, 2016, 02:32:57 pm
My grade 3 middle schoolers randomly sang a ditty today:

"Spiderman, spiderman. We can see your underwear."

...what

Like it wasn't just one student, nearly the whole class sang it. And it sounded so normal at first!
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: JNM on June 29, 2016, 03:50:49 pm
We're going though hair and clothing vocabulary from the textbook: "And what are these?" Every class responds "shorts" or "short pants" (huh?).

Are "short pants" not British English? I've only ever heard the phrase here in Korea and always considered it some Konglish approximation of "shorts" (and wrong), but if that were true wouldn't they be saying "half pants" (반바지)? Then I think I saw the term online somewhere (maybe here) and assumed it was British English. Just doing an internet search now I found that DIESEL brand calls them "short pants", but they're an Italian brand...

short pants are definitely not british english  :laugh: pants are your underwear
we'd just call 'em shorts

It is used in the expression, "I've been []ing since you were in short pants!"
Oh god I read this as 'I've been []ing you since you were in short pants'
Glad I re-read that one
Also I've never heard that phrase, the way you actually wrote it OR the way i misread it  :laugh:

I am glad you re-read it too!
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: yirj17 on June 30, 2016, 02:53:38 pm
Started off the day reviewing key expressions with my middle schoolers.

Me: What are you thinking of?
Student 1: I'm thinking of food!
Student 2: I'm thinking of English!
Student 3: I'm thinking of [yirj17]. (Stares at me)

...A bit of an awkward pause before moving on. Lol

My grade 2's always make me smile. Awhile back at this travel school I'd installed Steam on the English computer with the idea of showing the kids some games in between classes. The school internet blocked me from installing any games though, and I couldn't uninstall Steam since the computer is all in Korean.

Today some students came up to me saying "[Korean teacher] deleted Steam! But... Fighting!!"  :laugh:

So they know about Steam already. I need to remember to bring my laptop or show them some game trailers sometime.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: magicmumu on September 23, 2016, 06:53:35 am
I was reviewing the words for body parts with my Grade 3s yesterday. Ensuring they knew which body parts were which I asked them to point the parts out for me.

Me: "Show me your neck! Show me your legs!"
Student: "Show me the money!"

 :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: SkidMarx on September 23, 2016, 07:42:26 am
Had this exchange the other day:

Grade 5 girl: Teacher, do you have chest hair?
Me: That's a strange question. Why would you ask that?
Grade 5 girl: I'm sorry teacher. Please forgive me.

Wut
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: jocelyncochran on September 23, 2016, 07:50:02 am
Me: Who looks beautiful today?
Student: ME! (I like the confidence)
Me: Who is quiet?
Student: *screams* ME
*give student the look*
Me: Who is quiet?
Student: *whispers* meeeeee

I couldn't help but laugh, I love my grade 4s!

 :laugh: :laugh:
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: HaLo3 on September 23, 2016, 07:51:23 am
One of my students and I were talking and he said "Teacher, I like to show myself!" I was a little confused, and mimed the motion of a flasher and said "show yourself?" He nearly fell over himself trying to say no, and eventually explained that he likes to dance, and he shows his heart through his dancing. :cheesy:
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: mcghe7 on September 23, 2016, 12:20:59 pm
Me: What did you do for Chuseok?
Students: we ate (a korean word for the pancake)
Student:Teacher, did you eat Turkey?
Other student: It's not her Thanksgiving!
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: FreddyPrinceWilliam on September 23, 2016, 01:30:58 pm
Today:

learning "This is..." with the third graders, one child shouts "THIS IS SPARTA"!

After lunch one kid grabs my hand and wants me to walk with him and he says "Come on, baby"....  :huh:

Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: lazerbullet on September 23, 2016, 01:39:09 pm
Had this exchange the other day:

Grade 5 girl: Teacher, do you have chest hair?
Me: That's a strange question. Why would you ask that?
Grade 5 girl: I'm sorry teacher. Please forgive me.

Wut

My elementary schoolers are pretty obsessed with it. Whenever I have a button undone on my shirt, they point at it and say "Teacher 털! 털!" (hair)
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: chupacaubrey on September 23, 2016, 01:40:09 pm
Today:

learning "This is..." with the third graders, one child shouts "THIS IS SPARTA"!

After lunch one kid grabs my hand and wants me to walk with him and he says "Come on, baby"....  :huh:

Well, baby, what did you do?
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: FreddyPrinceWilliam on September 23, 2016, 02:12:45 pm
Today:

learning "This is..." with the third graders, one child shouts "THIS IS SPARTA"!

After lunch one kid grabs my hand and wants me to walk with him and he says "Come on, baby"....  :huh:

Well, baby, what did you do?

I asked my co-teacher to ask him where he learned that
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: bmym80 on September 23, 2016, 02:21:25 pm
Lesson about comparatives: Grade 6
Me: I am taller than you.
Class: I think so, too. (correct answer)
Me: I am older than you.
Students: I think so, too.
Me: I am stronger than you.
Class: I think so, too (most) Some: I don't think so.
Me: I am smarter than you.
Class: I don't think. (Loudly)
Me: I have more babies than you.
Class: I don't think so. ?????
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: Gasian on September 23, 2016, 03:29:05 pm
\A number of my students are saying "come on baby" this has gone on for a while though, but on Tuesday, one of my grade 2 elementary boys started saying "you're a wicked woman"........ we cannot get out of him where he has picked this up.

So every class I have had with him this week he says "hey, Matahari, you are a wicked woman".

It's hilarious but really awkward.....

 
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: Somebody on September 23, 2016, 10:25:37 pm
I once had a student tell me "**** you". The co-teacher laughed and I laughed too. I responded with a sincere and earnest, "Well, **** you, too." Everybody was in stitches.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: donovan on September 23, 2016, 11:14:54 pm
I once had a student tell me "**** you". The co-teacher laughed and I laughed too. I responded with a sincere and earnest, "Well, **** you, too." Everybody was in stitches.
That's just adorable :undecided:
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: Somebody on September 23, 2016, 11:27:07 pm
I once had a student tell me "**** you". The co-teacher laughed and I laughed too. I responded with a sincere and earnest, "Well, **** you, too." Everybody was in stitches.
That's just adorable :undecided:

It was Donovan. Later, we explained that saying 'Bless you' is not the politically correct way to express something because people might be from different belief groups. The students understood and we moved on with the lesson.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: Somebody on September 23, 2016, 11:39:06 pm
I once had a student tell me "**** you". The co-teacher laughed and I laughed too. I responded with a sincere and earnest, "Well, **** you, too." Everybody was in stitches.
That's just adorable :undecided:

It was Donovan. Later, we explained that saying 'Bless you' is not the politically correct way to express something because people might be from different belief groups. The students understood and we moved on with the lesson.

Wow, this time 'Bless you' was allowed. Maybe if you put qoutations it's ok.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: DMZabductee on September 24, 2016, 12:33:11 am
I once had a student tell me "**** you". The co-teacher laughed and I laughed too. I responded with a sincere and earnest, "Well, **** you, too." Everybody was in stitches.
That's just adorable :undecided:

It was Donovan. Later, we explained that saying 'Bless you' is not the politically correct way to express something because people might be from different belief groups. The students understood and we moved on with the lesson.

Wow, this time 'Bless you' was allowed. Maybe if you put qoutations it's ok.

Quotations or not tomorrow it's gonna be...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HkMNOlYcpHg]

Stop talkfngging  (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HkMNOlYcpHg)
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: DIE5EL on September 24, 2016, 03:47:22 am

This is right, but I'm really curious about exactly when and from what viral trend it started. I NEVER used to hear this in school or Korean online games until several months ago. Now it's EVERYWHERE. I even have 4th grade ele students using it, and really sweet and innocent students that I never would have expected to hear it from. Surprising to say the least.

Yeah at this point it's just a meme that's caught on, and soon enough any shock value that it has should wear off. I hope...

Anyway, I remember first hearing it (in middle school) this year March/April, but I think others were already hearing it last year. Your fourth graders probably don't really grasp the full meaning, and are just copying others when they say it.

I know I'm like a month behind the conversation but I would also add to the origin of "앙 기모띠" that it became an internet slang term last year and last summer/fall high schoolish aged kids got ahold of it and started spamming it in the games they play etc. Then it just took some time to filter its way down now every middle school child knows 기모띠
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: coxy15 on September 25, 2016, 06:07:42 pm
Today:

learning "This is..." with the third graders, one child shouts "THIS IS SPARTA"!

After lunch one kid grabs my hand and wants me to walk with him and he says "Come on, baby"....  :huh:

I teach one kid where everytime I begin to explain something using "this is..." he will always, ALWAYS, without fail, shout "SPARTA". I'm impressed at his quick reactions and that he is actually listening all the time, but it does stop me in my tracks somewhat. It is funny though
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: kchan91 on September 26, 2016, 08:43:24 am
I was playing a game with 5th graders where students had to look at a series of pictures and write the English words associated with the pictures.

There was a picture of a whale.

One team misspelled it and wrote "wh*re."
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: kchan91 on September 26, 2016, 08:45:04 am
Played a game where teams had to write down as many English words as possible according to a category given to them.

The category was "Super Heroes."

One team's answer: Iron Man, Thor, Hulk, Black Woman.

I believe they meant "Black Widow."

I gave them the points.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: The Arm on September 28, 2016, 02:33:04 pm
@kchan91 Both brilliant  :laugh: :laugh:

Today I happened to show a picture of the Note 7 and a student shouted "dynamite!!".

Such wit 8)
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: BeeBee on September 28, 2016, 08:17:46 pm
Lesson on giving advice…

Me: "The dog ate my homework. What should I do?"

Student: "Teacher, how do you spell: revenge?"
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: DMZabductee on September 29, 2016, 01:18:17 pm
During a middle school open class yesterday. Lesson was on asking and answering favors. About 15 moms in the back of the class ~

Me: "If you don't want to do a favor for someone, what can you say?"

S: "Fuck off."

Everyone:  :shocked: :shocked: :shocked:

Me:  "wow ...ok, moving on. Anyone else?" :angel: :blank:
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: donovan on September 29, 2016, 01:59:58 pm
I had a kid walk in today singing Eruption's "One Way Ticket", which is especially amusing for me because I only first ever heard it when my (Korean) father-in-law sang it to me when reminiscing about his discotheque days.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=g_jUtiKSf1Y

I'm so grateful to have youtube at my fingertips so I can quickly break the music video out and bring the whole class into the fold~
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: yirj17 on September 29, 2016, 02:17:41 pm
Some of my students will randomly blurt out "I love you!" or make hearts at me when they think nobody else is looking. They're middle school boys  :blank:

"Teacher! I love you--uh, I mean [insert key expression of the lesson]"

Fortunately for him this class is tiny (only 3 students) and the other 2 are nice girls so I don't think anyone teased him about it. Nobody acknowledged it so we all just moved on.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: donovan on September 29, 2016, 02:28:14 pm
Some of my students will randomly blurt out "I love you!" or make hearts at me when they think nobody else is looking. They're middle school boys  :blank:

"Teacher! I love you--uh, I mean [insert key expression of the lesson]"

Fortunately for him this class is tiny (only 3 students) and the other 2 are nice girls so I don't think anyone teased him about it. Nobody acknowledged it so we all just moved on.

"I Love you!" Much preferable to "기모띠!" I'm glad middle-schoolers have found more appropriate ways to express their feelings^^
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: yirj17 on September 29, 2016, 02:32:06 pm
Oh thank god nobody has said "기모띠!" at me!!  :huh: :huh:

But it still just seems weird. Like they know how old I am!
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: kyndo on September 29, 2016, 02:52:58 pm
Some of my students will randomly blurt out "I love you!" or make hearts at me when they think nobody else is looking. They're middle school boys  :blank:

"Teacher! I love you--uh, I mean [insert key expression of the lesson]"

Fortunately for him this class is tiny (only 3 students) and the other 2 are nice girls so I don't think anyone teased him about it. Nobody acknowledged it so we all just moved on.

I get this all the time too. From both genders. It's just middle-school silliness.
I used to just SNIP, but these days I enjoy just looking at them with dead, emotionless eyes and returning the heart symbol along with a robotic "I love you too." :azn:
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: JahMoo on September 29, 2016, 03:07:18 pm
Some of my students will randomly blurt out "I love you!" or make hearts at me when they think nobody else is looking. They're middle school boys  :blank:

"Teacher! I love you--uh, I mean [insert key expression of the lesson]"

Fortunately for him this class is tiny (only 3 students) and the other 2 are nice girls so I don't think anyone teased him about it. Nobody acknowledged it so we all just moved on.

I get this all the time too. From both genders. It's just middle-school silliness.
I used to just SNIP, but these days I enjoy just looking at them with dead, emotionless eyes and returning the heart symbol along with a robotic "I love you too." :azn:
WHAT did you used to snip?
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: kyndo on September 29, 2016, 03:18:29 pm
Some of my students will randomly blurt out "I love you!" or make hearts at me when they think nobody else is looking. They're middle school boys  :blank:
"Teacher! I love you--uh, I mean [insert key expression of the lesson]"
Fortunately for him this class is tiny (only 3 students) and the other 2 are nice girls so I don't think anyone teased him about it. Nobody acknowledged it so we all just moved on.

I get this all the time too. From both genders. It's just middle-school silliness.
I used to just SNIP, but these days I enjoy just looking at them with dead, emotionless eyes and returning the heart symbol along with a robotic "I love you too." :azn:

WHAT did you used to snip?
    Locks of their hair mostly, which I would then burn in effigy, or use in the occasional black magic ritual.
    I more or less quit doing that because it's becoming increasingly difficult to find 'innocents' among middle schoolers. Guess I should switch to primary, but I'm not fond of the whole 'human taperecorder' issue that so many primary NETs encounter. :sad:



**S.N.I.P. is also an acronym for Smile, Nod, Ignore, Proceed
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: JahMoo on September 29, 2016, 03:24:01 pm
**S.N.I.P. is also an acronym for Smile, Nod, Ignore, Proceed

You learn something new every day.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: SkidMarx on September 29, 2016, 03:25:08 pm
I had a kid walk in today singing Eruption's "One Way Ticket", which is especially amusing for me because I only first ever heard it when my (Korean) father-in-law sang it to me when reminiscing about his discotheque days.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=g_jUtiKSf1Y

I'm so grateful to have youtube at my fingertips so I can quickly break the music video out and bring the whole class into the fold~

On the subject of old music, a way back when, I used to have a student who would always ask me "Teacher! Do you know Duran Duran? Hungry Like the Wolf!" Without fail, every class.

Yeah, kid, I know who Duran Duran are. I knew the 17 other times you asked too. Apparently his old man saw them live and it had some bizarre impact on him.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: donovan on September 29, 2016, 06:46:03 pm
I had a kid walk in today singing Eruption's "One Way Ticket", which is especially amusing for me because I only first ever heard it when my (Korean) father-in-law sang it to me when reminiscing about his discotheque days.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=g_jUtiKSf1Y

I'm so grateful to have youtube at my fingertips so I can quickly break the music video out and bring the whole class into the fold~

On the subject of old music, a way back when, I used to have a student who would always ask me "Teacher! Do you know Duran Duran? Hungry Like the Wolf!" Without fail, every class.

Yeah, kid, I know who Duran Duran are. I knew the 17 other times you asked too. Apparently his old man saw them live and it had some bizarre impact on him.

I had another kid would always bring up Freddy Mercury because his dad happened to be super in to Queen.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: weigookin74 on September 29, 2016, 07:34:37 pm
I had a middle school student in the past whose dad loved listening to Metallica.  He wore a shirt during summer camp and spoke English well.  So, whenever I saw him, I'd always say sound bites to him.  "Ride the lightening".  Sad, but true."  Blah blah blah....
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: goseumdochi on September 29, 2016, 09:39:59 pm
Students: /see a middle aged blond man in the textbook

One student with poor english: trump
Another student(much higher level): TRUMP IS A RACIST!!!!!!!!!


TWO DAYS LATER
me, handing the agenda sheet which is white: here mike, write your hw on your hw agenda sheet, not your textbook
Same student as before: mike hates white. MIKE IS A RACIST!!!!!!!!!!

I dont even know where he learned that???
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: donovan on September 30, 2016, 07:53:53 am
Students: /see a middle aged blond man in the textbook

One student with poor english: trump
Another student(much higher level): TRUMP IS A RACIST!!!!!!!!!


TWO DAYS LATER
me, handing the agenda sheet which is white: here mike, write your hw on your hw agenda sheet, not your textbook
Same student as before: mike hates white. MIKE IS A RACIST!!!!!!!!!!

I dont even know where he learned that???

Rac*st has entered the lexicon of my 6th grade students and I don't like it. I assumed they picked it up while living abroad. They throw it around casually at each other, always jokingly (like some of them throw around the F word or a middle finger), but still.  It's a word already in danger of overuse and fast losing its currency. I can't even bring myself to say it; makes me want to cringe.

I happen to be studying comparatives with my 6th grade students and I had planned to show them the song "Anything You Can Do I can Do Better" from Annie Get Your Gun, and playfully ask them whose better, men or women. Since the first presidential debate had just taken place the day previously, I started the lesson with a photo of Trump and Hillary on the debate stage and asked who's better, the man or the woman. I wasn't sure if they would be fully aware of who the figures were, but the kids raised their hands overwhelmingly for "the woman". Even the boys who would later vote for boys over girls. They were well aware of who the figures were and I think the words "racist" and "terrible" were thrown in by a couple more opinionated students.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: yirj17 on September 30, 2016, 10:15:48 am
I've recently discovered one of my 4th graders is a goofball. The other day she ran down the hallway to me, waving around a folded napkin.

"[yirj]! My friend!!" (gesturing at the folded napkin)
"...really??" (it's a dead fly)
"Really! My friend! But, Korean teacher... (makes a hitting motion) My friend die!"
"Your friend is... dead?"
"Yes! Die!"
" :blank: Err..."

 :laugh: :laugh:
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: yirj17 on October 12, 2016, 03:01:04 pm
Had the students practice some dialogue today for "Why don't we _______ together?" I gave them a short worksheet for them to fill in the blanks w/whatever they wanted to say & went around spell/grammar checking. When performing aloud, one student totally deviated from what he wrote down.

Boy A: "What are you going to do this weekend?"
Boy B: "Nothing special."
Boy A: "Why don't we go to sleep together?"
Boy B: "Sounds good!"

As I tried to stifle a snort, I made eye contact with one of the higher level students who just smiled knowingly... though I think the implication went over most of the heads in class.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: CO2 on October 12, 2016, 03:04:44 pm
Boy A: "What are you going to do this weekend?"
Boy B: "Nothing special."
Boy A: "Why don't we go to sleep together?"
Boy B: "Sounds good!"

As I tried to stifle a snort, I made eye contact with one of the higher level students who just smiled knowingly... though I think the implication went over most of the heads in class.

Oh, they knew exactly what they were saying............
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: welcomebackkotter on October 14, 2016, 01:10:52 pm
 "Teeeeeachaaa.  Sandals and socks? You're a fashion terrorist."
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: Teemowork on October 14, 2016, 01:33:31 pm
Boy A: "What are you going to do this weekend?"
Boy B: "Nothing special."
Boy A: "Why don't we go to sleep together?"
Boy B: "Sounds good!"

As I tried to stifle a snort, I made eye contact with one of the higher level students who just smiled knowingly... though I think the implication went over most of the heads in class.

Oh, they knew exactly what they were saying............

There's also the one where they go...

Student A: "Would you like to come to my house and eat ramyeon??"
Student B: "Sounds good!"

With the amount of uncontrolled giggling that occurred, you didn't need to know anything about Korean culture/slang to know EXACTLY what that meant in Korea.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: donovan on October 14, 2016, 01:38:10 pm
Boy A: "What are you going to do this weekend?"
Boy B: "Nothing special."
Boy A: "Why don't we go to sleep together?"
Boy B: "Sounds good!"

As I tried to stifle a snort, I made eye contact with one of the higher level students who just smiled knowingly... though I think the implication went over most of the heads in class.

Oh, they knew exactly what they were saying............

There's also the one where they go...

Student A: "Would you like to come to my house and eat ramyeon??"
Student B: "Sounds good!"

With the amount of uncontrolled giggling that occurred, you didn't need to know anything about Korean culture/slang to know EXACTLY what that meant in Korea.

There's a page in our 6th grade book that has a Flash-animated character shouting, "Yeot! Yeot! Have some delicious yeot!" "It's delicious!"

The kids can't control their laughter.  I wonder if the book publishers didn't anticipate the students' reaction when writing this lesson.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: yirj17 on October 14, 2016, 01:43:28 pm
Boy A: "What are you going to do this weekend?"
Boy B: "Nothing special."
Boy A: "Why don't we go to sleep together?"
Boy B: "Sounds good!"

As I tried to stifle a snort, I made eye contact with one of the higher level students who just smiled knowingly... though I think the implication went over most of the heads in class.

Oh, they knew exactly what they were saying............

There's also the one where they go...

Student A: "Would you like to come to my house and eat ramyeon??"
Student B: "Sounds good!"

With the amount of uncontrolled giggling that occurred, you didn't need to know anything about Korean culture/slang to know EXACTLY what that meant in Korea.

Is it like the equivalent of what "netflix and chill" turned into?
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: Teemowork on October 14, 2016, 03:14:51 pm
Boy A: "What are you going to do this weekend?"
Boy B: "Nothing special."
Boy A: "Why don't we go to sleep together?"
Boy B: "Sounds good!"

As I tried to stifle a snort, I made eye contact with one of the higher level students who just smiled knowingly... though I think the implication went over most of the heads in class.

Oh, they knew exactly what they were saying............

There's also the one where they go...

Student A: "Would you like to come to my house and eat ramyeon??"
Student B: "Sounds good!"

With the amount of uncontrolled giggling that occurred, you didn't need to know anything about Korean culture/slang to know EXACTLY what that meant in Korea.

Is it like the equivalent of what "netflix and chill" turned into?

Pretty sure it's been around longer considerably longer than netflix and chilling.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: yirj17 on October 14, 2016, 03:21:01 pm
Just clarifying the meaning with what I thought would be a similar idiom.  :wink:
How old is ramen anyway? Now I've got to look that up.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: KirbyFan112 on November 01, 2016, 02:10:33 pm
Today a student said "Teacher, do you miss the Motherland?" I only thought....

(https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/f5/ac/bd/f5acbd48815fc73d4389edaea4d6347a.jpg)
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: shostager on November 01, 2016, 02:15:15 pm
Today the last question in a game based on the phrase "What kind of...?", I asked "What kind of monster did Harry Potter fight in the second book?"

My students mostly answered correctly, but after class I got some more interesting answers (I generally allow my students to argue for their answers, and although it was too late, they wanted to try for fun, anyway).
- "Voldemort right! Basilisk was a horcrux!"
- "He killed spiders with Ron's car."
- "He beat the Slytherins in Quidditch." ("Are they monsters?") "Yes, teacher!"
- "MRS. NORRIS WAS THE REAL MONSTER"

(2nd grade middle school boys, in case that influences your image of this scene)
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: gidget on November 11, 2016, 03:19:23 pm
Yesterday this happened:

Student 1: Teacher! I! Baby!
Me: You're a baby?
Student 1: Teacher, no...uh...uh...uh... when I baby, teacher!
Student 2: Teacher baby?!
Me: What?
Student 3: Huh? Baby? In Teacher’s tummy? (Reaches to touch my tummy) But Teacher no married!
Student 1: No! I baby! No teacher baby!
Student 3: Oh, Teacher! Secret baby?
Me: No, no baby.
Student 1: No baby!
Student 2: OK~ Secret, Teacher! No tell.
Student 3: No tell, Teacher.

Today I’m just tracking the rumour as it spreads from class to class.  :rolleyes: :P :laugh:
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: midori951 on November 11, 2016, 03:23:19 pm
Today a student said "Teacher, do you miss the Motherland?" I only thought....

(https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/f5/ac/bd/f5acbd48815fc73d4389edaea4d6347a.jpg)
Oh man this game. Loved it and miss it. Gona download it today! haha
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: midori951 on November 11, 2016, 03:27:35 pm
yesturday.


S: Teacher! AMERICA!!!! TRUMP!!!! *throws a thumbs up* YEAH!!! MONEY!!!!!!!
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: larryjay89 on November 11, 2016, 08:30:20 pm
Pepero Day 11/11

T: Where's my peppero?

G: In my belly

T: Can you get me some then?

G: No, but I can give you my poop

T:-_-
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: flyingspider on March 31, 2017, 01:39:09 pm
One of my 6th graders didn't know the word "constipated" so instead he said "dung pregnant." :laugh:
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: cjszk on March 31, 2017, 03:28:00 pm
One of my 6th graders didn't know the word "constipated" so instead he said "dung pregnant." :laugh:

Diarrhea was the most popular word with my 6th graders last year. They would use it every chance they get.

"How was your lunch?"
"Terrible! It gave me diarrhea!"
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: What?What? on March 31, 2017, 03:37:15 pm
One of my 6th graders didn't know the word "constipated" so instead he said "dung pregnant." :laugh:


 :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: so apt though!!!!
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: Aurata on March 31, 2017, 11:20:47 pm


"in Korea, you can't get married if you don't have a car".
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: JNM on April 01, 2017, 10:16:42 am


"in Korea, you can't get married if you don't have a car".

My (former) brother-in-law told me this... when I was married to his sister despite not having a car.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: flyingspider on April 24, 2017, 03:28:24 pm
Not something a student said, but still funny. The 6th graders had a CPR class, and they all practiced on those medical dummies. One boy was so enthusiastically doing chest compressions that he hurt his neck, and now he has to wear a neck brace for a couple days.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: Datasapien on April 24, 2017, 05:01:17 pm
Teaching students expressions to use in a restaurant.
Reviewing the expression 'enjoy your meal' after a 45 minute speaking class.

T: So, how can you say '맛있게 드세요' in English?
Ss: ...
T: Enjoy your ...
S: Face!
T:  :huh: ...  :laugh:
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: flyingspider on July 03, 2017, 01:12:29 pm
We just finished the "Can you come to my party?" lesson, so we had the students create invitations. Most of the kids did pajama party, birthday party, or other generic things. This kid (who always says he's "terrible") wrote this:

Can you come to my Hell party?
The party is on July 5th.
Come to hell at 2:00.
Well if you come to hell you can’t return to your home forever.
You can do it whatever.
But there’s no food.
So you must eat people.
Survive in the hell and become the strongest human in hell.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: Chinguetti on July 03, 2017, 02:04:04 pm
We just finished the "Can you come to my party?" lesson, so we had the students create invitations. Most of the kids did pajama party, birthday party, or other generic things. This kid (who always says he's "terrible") wrote this:

Can you come to my Hell party?
The party is on July 5th.
Come to hell at 2:00.
Well if you come to hell you can’t return to your home forever.
You can do it whatever.
But there’s no food.
So you must eat people.
Survive in the hell and become the strongest human in hell.

That kid earned himself some candy.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: Chinguetti on July 04, 2017, 08:39:40 am
The only interesting answer from speaking tests this year:

Me: I'm thinking of visiting North Korea this year.
Student: No, that's not a good idea.
Me: Why do you think so?
Student: I want you to live.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: JamSiManYo on July 04, 2017, 09:49:24 am
"Do you know about Hitler?"

"Teacher, what's your dream?"

One kid was enamored with the word poo so every chance he got he would be like "teacher.... poo." Always caught me off guard with that shit.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: ISHKABIBBLE on July 04, 2017, 12:07:05 pm
Middle School.
I was doing a class on why questions and because statements.
At the end of the class I had the students write a "Why?" question of a piece of paper. I collected them and then had them write a "Because" statement on another piece of paper.

In the end you mix up each stack and have students read the random pairs in class.

A very brave 15 year old male student wrote:
Because I love teacher my phone number - *** **** ****
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: What?What? on July 04, 2017, 12:34:12 pm
The only interesting answer from speaking tests this year:

Me: I'm thinking of visiting North Korea this year.
Student: No, that's not a good idea.
Me: Why do you think so?
Student: I want you to live.

This is actually so sweet!
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: slycordinator on July 05, 2017, 12:11:57 am
"Do you know about Hitler?"

"Teacher, what's your dream?"

One kid was enamored with the word poo so every chance he got he would be like "teacher.... poo." Always caught me off guard with that shit.
I had a kid who wanted his "English" name to be "Ddong." He especially liked spelling it out like that. After we ignored his constant outbursts about it, he stopped since he wasn't getting the attention he was looking for.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: palerose26 on July 05, 2017, 07:28:18 am
I work at an all girls middle school and we were working on the phrase "Which do you prefer..?" in a group activity. They had to choose between summer and winter. I had one group tell me,

"We prefer winter to summer because in summer our armpits like water park."

Since it was for participation points, that group got a few extra that day for being the most creative.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: kriztee on July 05, 2017, 07:56:04 am
"Do you know about Hitler?"

"Teacher, what's your dream?"

One kid was enamored with the word poo so every chance he got he would be like "teacher.... poo." Always caught me off guard with that shit.
I had a kid who wanted his "English" name to be "Ddong." He especially liked spelling it out like that. After we ignored his constant outbursts about it, he stopped since he wasn't getting the attention he was looking for.
I think spelling it must be from something because I've had multiple kids of various grades at diff schools who could spell it without even thinking of what they were saying. Probably some show did it once so all the boys can spell one word now...
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: Chinguetti on July 05, 2017, 07:57:06 am
The only interesting answer from speaking tests this year:

Me: I'm thinking of visiting North Korea this year.
Student: No, that's not a good idea.
Me: Why do you think so?
Student: I want you to live.

This is actually so sweet!

Yeah, I thought so, too, and my simultaneous laugh and "aww" had him very pleased with himself.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: yirj17 on August 24, 2017, 08:05:23 am
So there's an interview coming up for a study abroad program in America and my coTs asked me to practice with the nominated students from our schools. 

Me:  Why are you interested in this program? 
Student:  I am interested in this program... because I want to go to America for free! 

 :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

Kid's answer was kinda too perfect.   :laugh: 
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: kriztee on August 24, 2017, 12:08:26 pm
I let my students pick team names. Usually it's innocent things like "Winning team" or "Best Team" but this time they wanted to be "Trump" vs. "Kim Jong-Eun"

I tried not to let them see me laugh before I told them to pick different names...
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: What?What? on August 24, 2017, 12:55:57 pm
I let my students pick team names. Usually it's innocent things like "Winning team" or "Best Team" but this time they wanted to be "Trump" vs. "Kim Jong-Eun"

I tried not to let them see me laugh before I told them to pick different names...

I would have let them run with this.......  :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: yirj17 on August 24, 2017, 01:02:59 pm
I let my students pick team names. Usually it's innocent things like "Winning team" or "Best Team" but this time they wanted to be "Trump" vs. "Kim Jong-Eun"

I tried not to let them see me laugh before I told them to pick different names...

Is it bad that I would have let them keep those names??  :laugh: :laugh:
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: kriztee on August 24, 2017, 01:04:31 pm
I let my students pick team names. Usually it's innocent things like "Winning team" or "Best Team" but this time they wanted to be "Trump" vs. "Kim Jong-Eun"

I tried not to let them see me laugh before I told them to pick different names...

I would have let them run with this.......  :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

I was really tempted to but my CT was out of the room at the time and she's kind of uptight so I didn't want her to freak out if she came in and saw the team names XD

Last year I did let a team name themselves "Ugly Trump" but it was for after school class where I didn't have to deal with a CT possibly walking in and being horrified. The other team for that game was "Kriztee Teacher + Obama = Love" and I let them get away with that. Other times they've tried to suck up to me for extra points by calling their teams "Kriztee is beautiful" or "Iron Man is Better Than Captain America" (I'm an iron man fan :P)
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: Mister Tim on August 24, 2017, 03:17:54 pm
Sometimes the teams in my classes will coordinate and spell a word with the letters they choose when we're playing bomb games.

By "a word" I invariably mean "S-E-X."

Up until today, it was always my 3rd grade middle school boys who did it (my school separates home room classes by gender).

Today, though, it was one of my 1st grade girls classes. I usually see it coming as soon as the first team chooses "S," but I didn't see it coming today at all until the third team called out that "X." You should have seen how red they all went - out of laughter, embarrassment, or both - when I realized what they had done.

Usually I just give a sarcastic "oh, ha ha ha, very clever" sort of reaction when the boys do it, but I was so surprised by the young girls doing it that I couldn't even keep my chuckling down.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: bluehermione on August 25, 2017, 08:35:09 am
Sometimes the teams in my classes will coordinate and spell a word with the letters they choose when we're playing bomb games.

By "a word" I invariably mean "S-E-X."

Up until today, it was always my 3rd grade middle school boys who did it (my school separates home room classes by gender).

Today, though, it was one of my 1st grade girls classes. I usually see it coming as soon as the first team chooses "S," but I didn't see it coming today at all until the third team called out that "X." You should have seen how red they all went - out of laughter, embarrassment, or both - when I realized what they had done.

Usually I just give a sarcastic "oh, ha ha ha, very clever" sort of reaction when the boys do it, but I was so surprised by the young girls doing it that I couldn't even keep my chuckling down.

My 2nd grade boys love to do this too, but my classes are mixed so I don't know if the girls would do it on their own. I can't imagine my 1st grade girls doing it though! :laugh:
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: ThereseScy on August 26, 2017, 08:18:39 am
Male student: why are your *points to my boobs* so big
Me: Because I drink a lot of milk
Male student with a shocked face: but we drink milk for lunch, will mine also grow?
Me: smiles smugly and walks away
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: donovan on August 26, 2017, 12:56:50 pm
Male student: why are your *points to my boobs* so big
Me: Because I drink a lot of milk
Male student with a shocked face: but we drink milk for lunch, will mine also grow?
Me: smiles smugly and walks away

haha :laugh:

...so if I stop drinking milk, they'll go back to normal?
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: flyingspider on September 01, 2017, 03:15:27 pm
We're writing travel plans using "going to" and one student writes, "I'm going to go to North Korea to touch Kim Jong Un's belly."
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: Enzo on September 01, 2017, 03:23:21 pm
First day back today and one of the kids drops this...

Student: Teacher... Jisu has a girlfriend.
Me:         Oh, thats nice.
Student: Her name is Holly.
Me:        Holly?
Student:Yes, Holly Sh1t.
Me: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: yirj17 on September 05, 2017, 01:26:32 pm
Had my elem. 3rd graders make their own superheroes for a lesson.  One kid named his superhero... "Ted."

Me:  Your superhero's name is... Ted?
Kid:  Yes!  Ted! 

 :laugh: :laugh:

Another kid named his superhero "black man" and then proceeded to color him green. 
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: JNM on September 05, 2017, 04:02:26 pm
Not a student, at the McDonald's drive through this past weekend.

Clerk: *Korean greating*
Me: I would like two Bacon and Egg McMuffin, set-u, with cafe late, hot-a.
Clerk: That is IMPOSSIBLE. (In perfect English, but the tone was what one would expect at the third or fourth ask.)
...
...
...
[no details]
Clerk: Come talk to me at the window.
[drives up]
Clerk: That is IMPOSSIBLE.
Me: Is it a bacon problem or an egg problem?
Clerk: It is a bacon problem.
Me: Is 2 ham & egg McMuffins possible?
Clerk: Yes.  That is possible!

Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: Charmedhpx77 on September 06, 2017, 02:11:23 pm
A student who knew exactly what he was saying.

Me: What do you like to do? (asking about hobbies)
S: I like to kiss my computer.
Me: Kiss your computer?
S: Yes, like this. (demonstrates on notebook) Also, I like to kiss my notebook. My notebook is my girlfriend.
Me: (smh) I see. It's probably better that way.
S: Probably.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: kriztee on September 06, 2017, 02:53:03 pm
Target sentences: "Where are you?" "I'm in the ______. I'm _______."

Me: Where are you?
Student: I'm in the living room. I'm killing.
Me: WHAT!?
Student: *realizing mistake* CLEANING! I'M CLEANING!
Me: o.o
Other student: *implies student 1 is cleaning up the mess from killing*
Me: No killing in the living room please!
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: Chinguetti on September 06, 2017, 03:03:59 pm
"I can't wait to piss."

I thought maybe the word he was trying to go for was "peace" since he told the KT that he was trying to say he wanted to relax.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: yirj17 on September 11, 2017, 10:21:30 am
Nothing was said aloud, but I got a kick out of this.  I had the kids playing Bingo for class and they were using Scrabble letters as game pieces.  Some of the boys got clever.

Student:  *whispers loudly* Teacher! 

Points at some letter tiles that spell: "sex."
Some girls see and frown, shaking their heads. 
Another student sees and adds a tile.

"sexy."

Then another student happens by.

Student:  Teacher!  Wait... wait...

Kid grabs some more letters.

"sexy man"

 :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:  Then some girls knocked the letters apart. 
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: travelinpantsgirl on September 22, 2017, 11:19:26 am
I always take that as a sign of affection, but others might say, they wouldn't treat a Kteacher that way...yeah but we're not Kteachers and that's the point right?
Your students like you.  :-*
I have a lot of nicknames from my students, which I like because my students are given a lot of nicknames too by me.  But I realised today about my latest one, was coming from how I was dressed.  I have a cocoa brown sweater and black trousers on today, and my students have been calling me 'Dolce Gusto Teacher' because I look like a coffee.  I asked my other co-teachers if they get nicknames, but they don't.  Maybe it's just me.   ;D
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: CO2 on September 22, 2017, 11:43:53 am
 :police: Okay, kids, this word is 'All right.' What is another word for All right?

 :smiley: 모두 오른쪽

 :police: hahahahaah no.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: travelinpantsgirl on September 22, 2017, 11:57:31 am
Definitely!  :-* :-*
I always take that as a sign of affection, but others might say, they wouldn't treat a Kteacher that way...yeah but we're not Kteachers and that's the point right?
Your students like you.  :-*
I have a lot of nicknames from my students, which I like because my students are given a lot of nicknames too by me.  But I realised today about my latest one, was coming from how I was dressed.  I have a cocoa brown sweater and black trousers on today, and my students have been calling me 'Dolce Gusto Teacher' because I look like a coffee.  I asked my other co-teachers if they get nicknames, but they don't.  Maybe it's just me.   ;D

Right, as you know from your high school, you can really take to students.  They're basically adults with funny personalities, emotionally developed and they don't have that black and white thinking like elementary students, also they are very receptive to encouragement and especially with them being at high school, it is really tough for them, so those little moments of praise go a long way.  Like you, my students are always popping in for a chat.  I like that.  But I wouldn't be able to maintain the level of concentration they do in class, day-after-day, not on your nelly.  To me, it's really important to me to respect students and they are receptive to that and that is generally shown back.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: net.panda on September 22, 2017, 12:48:20 pm
Did some rebus puzzles with my middle school students. One of them was "Jack in the box".

- Group asks for a hint and I point the the word "Jack" -

Me: What is this word?
Student: Japan!
Me: Japan? Try one more time, what is this word?
Student: America!
Me + CT + his group: Huh?
Student: *points to each letter* Japan, America, China, Korea
 :laugh: :laugh:

He is one of my weaker students, but he certainly thought outside of the box  :wink:
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: kriztee on September 22, 2017, 01:58:12 pm
Me: *Shows a picture of a couple in hanbok"
Student: That's my girlfriend
Me: You're too young for her, and that man is her boyfriend, not you"
Student: That's Min Jun (another student). He steal her, I kill him later.
Me: .........................Please don't.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: yirj17 on September 28, 2017, 03:44:06 pm
Me:  What are you going to do this weekend??
Student:  I'M GOING TO PRISON. 
Me:  Really?   :shocked: :shocked:
Student:  YES. 
Me:  Okay.  Why are you going to prison? 
Student:  Uh.. because... prison has delicious food!! 

 :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: Aristocrat on November 21, 2017, 08:19:46 am
Female Student - Teacher, your watch looks very expensive, how much is it?
Me - One thousand won, I bought it at Lotte mart.
Female Student - Haha, teacher is liar. I like your 만년필 (fountain pen) is very beautiful.
Male Student - Teacher, she is golddigger

Me and other male students
(https://i.imgflip.com/5lytn.jpg)
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: travelinpantsgirl on November 21, 2017, 08:50:54 am
High school girls
Me: girls today we’re going to watch a movie. (Because it’s a short week because of Suneung being rescheduled)
Student: teacher, Arrow? (I showed them one episode of Arrow and now all my students are like Arrow junkies lol)
Me: no
Student: romance? A stimulating romance?!
Me: :shocked: No, that’s not my thing. I only watch those alone. (This totally came out wrong, I meant I don’t show those kinds of movies to students lol).
These girls, man.  :laugh:
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: flyingspider on December 08, 2017, 01:40:14 pm
We're learning about careers, and they were supposed to write about what they liked and what they wanted to be when they grow up. One boy wrote, "I like to play. I want to be a player."
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: fnord on December 08, 2017, 03:03:35 pm
Sitting at my desk, 5 minutes before a class...

A chubby 5th grade boy slides the classroom door open, strolls in, and says, in a perfect imitation of the original...

(http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/facebook/000/296/441/24a.jpg)

I was so caught off guard by how perfectly executed it was, I couldn't help but laugh really hard.

After I gathered myself I gave him a light scolding for using bad language, but I doubt he took me too seriously.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: HaLo3 on December 08, 2017, 03:09:21 pm
I have a student that tells some mighty tall tales. She told me that a goat ate her homework (in Bundang). Another time she said that at her brothers wedding, a fire broke out and her mom and brother were screaming, and everyone was screaming, and the cake burned. She also told me her mom could juggle fire. I always feel like I'm playing a really intense version of 2 truths and a lie.

Another student during a test, wrote that the equator "was in the meddle of the arse." Cracked me and the other teacher I work with up. It's even better with an Irish accent.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: LindaTheGr8 on December 08, 2017, 03:11:53 pm
One of my 4th grade students likes to joke around and say he'll kill (or maybe he's not joking).
So a few days ago they're filling in blanks and to be funny he writes "Kill" in all of the blanks.
One of the sentences however was "I ______ my mom"

Me: Sang Min, you kill your mom
Him: No teacher
Me: But that's what you wrote
Him *realises what he just wrote*: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: CO2 on December 08, 2017, 03:15:43 pm
Another student during a test, wrote that the equator "was in the meddle of the arse." Cracked me and the other teacher I work with up. It's even better with an Irish accent.
That's what you get when it's hangeulised to 어쓰
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: kyndo on December 08, 2017, 06:38:37 pm
My students were writing down other country's customs and two girls in two different classes wrote, 'in France, you give people a kiss on both chicks'
Not entirely wrong, though.  :undecided:
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: travelinpantsgirl on December 12, 2017, 02:20:56 pm
High school in self study...
my rules are simple...
keep your voices down and keep your butt in a chair.
Kid does a squat walk around the table as I watch...tries to squat behind a kid with a phone playing a movie (I don't care if they do this, it keeps them quiet lol) So I am looking at squat kid and I am like "Nope, nope, back to your seat..." As he squat walks (no idea why he does this) back to his chair...I can see the kid across from him filming his squat walk...
"Why are you filming him?"
"Bribery"
 :rolleyes: :laugh:
Alrighty then.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: kyndo on January 22, 2018, 09:38:45 am
Last week, one of my best students needed somewhere to put some knitting she'd done, so asked 'Teacher, do you have an invisible plastic bag?'.  Obviously meaning, see-through.  I went off and came back with two food bags.  I gave them to her and said that if she lost one she could use the other one.
You really ought to have just pantomimed giving her a bag and said something like "Only good students can see this bag, so it's pretty much invisible!"  :laugh:
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: aschwapp on January 22, 2018, 02:49:44 pm
Supervising self study in high school. I guess they had a free period before I came in and one student just woke up and says, "teacher, I just woke up. Can I wash my face?" Uhh, yeah. Sure.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: Chinguetti on January 22, 2018, 03:01:57 pm
Last week, one of my best students needed somewhere to put some knitting she'd done, so asked 'Teacher, do you have an invisible plastic bag?'.  Obviously meaning, see-through.  I went off and came back with two food bags.  I gave them to her and said that if she lost one she could use the other one.

Hah, I love the creativity the kids have when trying to describe what they want or need without knowing all of the more convenient vocabulary. 

One of my recent favorites: "boom floor boom" to describe an earthquake.

Also, they usually don't remember the word for broom, and it's often describe as "floor brush" or "mop's friend" to me.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: Datasapien on March 02, 2018, 05:28:29 pm
Not really a funny thing said, but just thought the situation was pretty funny.

Leaving school and there's always the same bunch of low level students milling around near the gates.

Student A: Hello!
Me: Hello :)
Student A to student B: 뭐래? (What did he say?)
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: Chinguetti on May 25, 2018, 08:52:32 am
Student B:  :lipsrsealed:
Me: What's wrong?
Student A: Teacher, he stole my candy.
Me: Oh really?
Student A: Yes. We fight. He lose. Now he candy mine.
Student B:  :lipsrsealed:
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: Kaynadian on May 25, 2018, 12:48:54 pm
Today, before the start of class, one of my students was trying to explain something to me in Korean. All I caught was something about Mafia,  a movie, a pregnant lady and a man. I assume I had a confused look on my face.
Another student, whose English is very good, says to me in English, "Is it just me? I don't even understand what he's saying and I'm fluent in Korean."  :laugh:
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: donovan on May 25, 2018, 12:54:46 pm
Last week, one of my best students needed somewhere to put some knitting she'd done, so asked 'Teacher, do you have an invisible plastic bag?'.  Obviously meaning, see-through.  I went off and came back with two food bags.  I gave them to her and said that if she lost one she could use the other one.

Hah, I love the creativity the kids have when trying to describe what they want or need without knowing all of the more convenient vocabulary. 

One of my recent favorites: "boom floor boom" to describe an earthquake.

Also, they usually don't remember the word for broom, and it's often describe as "floor brush" or "mop's friend" to me.

Funny enough, I can literally never remember what broom is in Korean, either.

That's easy. 바닥 청소 되는 큰칫솔 :rolleyes:
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: Chinguetti on May 25, 2018, 12:58:14 pm
Last week, one of my best students needed somewhere to put some knitting she'd done, so asked 'Teacher, do you have an invisible plastic bag?'.  Obviously meaning, see-through.  I went off and came back with two food bags.  I gave them to her and said that if she lost one she could use the other one.

Hah, I love the creativity the kids have when trying to describe what they want or need without knowing all of the more convenient vocabulary. 

One of my recent favorites: "boom floor boom" to describe an earthquake.

Also, they usually don't remember the word for broom, and it's often describe as "floor brush" or "mop's friend" to me.

Funny enough, I can literally never remember what broom is in Korean, either.

That's easy. 바닥 청소 되는 큰칫솔 :rolleyes:

These days my students call it a "sweeper" in English.

Funny how that's easier to remember than "broom".
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: donovan on May 25, 2018, 01:00:33 pm
Two words for the brain storage capacity of one. What sweeps? The sweeper sweeps!
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: CO2 on May 25, 2018, 01:02:23 pm
Two words for the brain storage capacity of one. What sweeps? The sweeper sweeps!

Who watchers the watchingman?
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: Chinguetti on May 25, 2018, 01:30:07 pm
This is like the beginning of a Ted Talk vid.
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: donovan on May 25, 2018, 01:34:20 pm
Two words for the brain storage capacity of one. What sweeps? The sweeper sweeps!

Who watchers the watchingman?

The Prize Fighter Inferno does...?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZqGilQMDFSA
Title: Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
Post by: Chinguetti on May 25, 2018, 01:40:33 pm
This is like the beginning of a Ted Talk vid.

Inane and entertaining to the masses?

You (https://www.ted.com/talks/the_cockroach_beatbox) betcha. (https://www.ted.com/talks/randall_munroe_comics_that_ask_what_if?referrer=playlist-the_funniest_ted_talks)