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All about South Korea => Life in Korea => Topic started by: jamsilnaynay on November 23, 2020, 06:09:55 pm

Title: People reacting rudely when you ask for help
Post by: jamsilnaynay on November 23, 2020, 06:09:55 pm
I traveled before in places like Costa Rica or Colombia, where if you look confused even for a couple of seconds, random people around you will approach and warmly ask if you need some help. Also it's pretty common to speak to locals to ask for restaurant or store recommendations, and people are more than happy to give you suggestions

But Korea is the complete opposite. Many times if you ask for help on the street (even in Korean), they will give you the death stare, make an x with their arms, shake their head, etc. I thought it was because they're afraid to speak with foreigners at first, but then my Korean SO also doesn't really ask for help, and has gotten rude reactions before when doing so. Why do people here react so unpleasantly?
Title: Re: People reacting rudely when you ask for help
Post by: Aristocrat on November 23, 2020, 06:56:53 pm
I traveled before in places like Costa Rica or Colombia, where if you look confused even for a couple of seconds, random people around you will approach and warmly ask if you need some help. Also it's pretty common to speak to locals to ask for restaurant or store recommendations, and people are more than happy to give you suggestions

But Korea is the complete opposite. Many times if you ask for help on the street (even in Korean), they will give you the death stare, make an x with their arms, shake their head, etc. I thought it was because they're afraid to speak with foreigners at first, but then my Korean SO also doesn't really ask for help, and has gotten rude reactions before when doing so. Why do people here react so unpleasantly?

Certain places of the world (particularly larger cities) people are incredibly weary of strangers and you can't really blame them, I'm very suspicious of anyone who wants to casually walk up and chat to me. I'll instinctively take a step back and keep my hands near my pockets to make sure someone else isn't trying to pick my pockets while the stranger distracts me.

Not sure what else to tell you. Perhaps you look kind of intimidating?
Title: Re: People reacting rudely when you ask for help
Post by: jamsilnaynay on November 23, 2020, 07:10:41 pm
Certain places of the world (particularly larger cities) people are incredibly weary of strangers and you can't really blame them, I'm very suspicious of anyone who wants to casually walk up and chat to me. I'll instinctively take a step back and keep my hands near my pockets to make sure someone else isn't trying to pick my pockets while the stranger distracts me.

Not sure what else to tell you. Perhaps you look kind of intimidating?
Quite the opposite lol. I'm probably the least intimidating looking guy possible :angel:

I grew up in a massive city in NE USA so I'm used to cities being fast paced and not really talkative. That said if you leave the business district in Boston or Philly, people do become a bit friendlier. But in Seoul it feels like even on the very edges people aren't really open
Title: Re: People reacting rudely when you ask for help
Post by: Aristocrat on November 23, 2020, 08:02:13 pm
Quite the opposite lol. I'm probably the least intimidating looking guy possible :angel:

I grew up in a massive city in NE USA so I'm used to cities being fast paced and not really talkative. That said if you leave the business district in Boston or Philly, people do become a bit friendlier. But in Seoul it feels like even on the very edges people aren't really open

Seoul is kind of notorious for that, you're not the first to say that people from Seoul walk with a "Don't talk to me, get away from me, I'm in a hurry, I hate my life." expression on their face.

If I were to point at something distinctly Korean, I'd say it's something Koreans call "Jeong".

Odds are, you'll only find the positive definition of "Jeong" when you ask a Korean what it means or read about it. In it's nicest sense, it sort of means caring for and being sensitive to the needs of those who you've formed a bond with.

The flip side is that those who are not within your inner-circle/clique are viewed with complete indifference. So, the worst of people aren't going to give a crap about inconveniencing strangers (parking illegally, driving like an asshole, cutting in line etc.) because they're not part of their circle. This could explain why nobody wants to talk to or help strangers, Korea is a very cliquey society.
Title: Re: People reacting rudely when you ask for help
Post by: Mr C on November 23, 2020, 08:05:56 pm
I traveled before in places like Costa Rica or Colombia, where if you look confused even for a couple of seconds, random people around you will approach and warmly ask if you need some help. Also it's pretty common to speak to locals to ask for restaurant or store recommendations, and people are more than happy to give you suggestions

But Korea is the complete opposite. Many times if you ask for help on the street (even in Korean), they will give you the death stare, make an x with their arms, shake their head, etc. I thought it was because they're afraid to speak with foreigners at first, but then my Korean SO also doesn't really ask for help, and has gotten rude reactions before when doing so. Why do people here react so unpleasantly?

I think we need more data before being able to answer.  Can you give, oh, four or five examples of the kind of help you and/or your Korean SO have asked for that have resulted in unpleasant responses?
Title: Re: People reacting rudely when you ask for help
Post by: Don Hobak on November 23, 2020, 08:11:41 pm
Many times if you ask for help on the street (even in Korean), they will give you the death stare, make an x with their arms, shake their head, etc. I thought it was because they're afraid to speak with foreigners

It seems you had the rare misfortune of asking the wrong person for directions, but donít take it to heart; oglop (https://youtu.be/XVIIy9FgOEY) is like that with everybody. Your intuition was dead on, however.

But seriously, does your SO have any insights into it?
Title: Re: People reacting rudely when you ask for help
Post by: jamsilnaynay on November 23, 2020, 10:26:52 pm
It seems you had the rare misfortune of asking the wrong person for directions, but donít take it to heart; oglop (https://youtu.be/XVIIy9FgOEY) is like that with everybody. Your intuition was dead on, however.

But seriously, does your SO have any insights into it?
My SO just shrugs. She gets annoyed by these things as well, but she is probably well used to them by now as she grew up in Seoul

"donít take it to heart"
I wish, but it's easier said than done :((
Title: Re: People reacting rudely when you ask for help
Post by: stoat on November 23, 2020, 10:37:39 pm
Just be thankful you don't live in the States where someone you ask directions from will probably be a gang member and pull a gun on you, or the UK where they'll be a football hooligan and hit you over the head with a bottle.
Title: Re: People reacting rudely when you ask for help
Post by: Don Hobak on November 24, 2020, 04:45:19 am
Just be thankful you don't live in the States where someone you ask directions from will probably be a gang member and pull a gun on you

Totally. Spoken like a guy with some real lived experience.

I was going to say at least theyíre not giving you well-intentioned bad directions, as seems to be the only other alternative when asking for help on the street in Korea.

The reluctance to help people extends far beyond the street however. Reticence to disclose helpful information often extends to people whose duty it is to disclose helpful information, like doctors and managers. My wife is almost pathologically adverse to engaging with strangers on the street. Donít get it and she would be hard pressed to explain it beyond, ďI donít want to bother them,Ē but I feel like it runs much deeper than that. That all said, I hardly think this trait is true of most Koreans, just more than you would expect in a random sample of the population.

But like stoat said, least they ainít poppin no cap in yo ass like they would in nearly every encounter with another human being from Alabama to Wyoming.
Title: Re: People reacting rudely when you ask for help
Post by: 303lmc on November 24, 2020, 07:32:12 am
could it be that everyone is scared to death they will die from 'corona'?? I've never had any issues, but I usually try not to ask.
Title: Re: People reacting rudely when you ask for help
Post by: oglop on November 24, 2020, 07:34:40 am
Just be thankful you don't live in the States where someone you ask directions from will probably be a gang member and pull a gun on you, or the UK where they'll be a football hooligan and hit you over the head with a bottle.
yeah, would you rather get shot in the head or just a little miffed that someone was rude? the entitlement in this thread. OP, do you really think people should get our of THEIR way to help YOU? people don't owe you anything OP

powered by DMô
Title: Re: People reacting rudely when you ask for help
Post by: OnNut81 on November 24, 2020, 08:00:14 am
The OP said he is from a "massive" city in the N.E. US, so obviously NYC.  I've been to NYC quite a bit, my father worked directly across from the Chrysler Building for ten years and I found New York to be a much ruder city than I was used to in Toronto.  In Toronto, people kept to themselves a fair bit but New York was more aggressive.  As for Seoul, one of the things that was commonplace in my early years (doesn't happen as much now admittedly) was more often than not, if you were looking at a map in a Seoul subway station someone would come ask if they could help you.  It happened so much in my early days here that when I went to Japan and looked at a subway map in Tokyo's Ueno station, I assumed someone would ask if they could help me as I thought it was a North East Asian behaviour.  Not a single person ever offered to help in Japan.  I've had people go out of their way to ride with me to where I'm going on the Seoul subway to make sure I get to my destination.  So, I think most big cities people are wary about being stopped on the street but usually respond well once they figure out you're legitimately looking for directions and not asking for spare change.  Maybe not in Seoul, but there is certainly a flip side of people feeling confident enough to approach you with the intent of helping.  A little awkward when you don't need it and are just looking at the subway map to see where new lines are going, but, still, always appreciated. 
Title: Re: People reacting rudely when you ask for help
Post by: Kayos on November 24, 2020, 08:30:54 am
I disagree about the help thing in Korea. I've had quite a few random strangers give me "above and beyond" levels of help in my time here.
My first experience in Korea, I'd just arrived, and was taking the bus, got off 1 stop too early and decided to walk to my hotel from there (only added like  5 - 10 mins walking time). The young lady that got off with me had her dad pick her up. When they started to see me walking, they gave me a ride right to the hotel.

I wouldn't even get that level of help back home, and if I was offered it, I'd probably assume they were doing something sketchy.
Title: Re: People reacting rudely when you ask for help
Post by: Kyndo on November 24, 2020, 09:03:58 am
 Attractive people tend to attract more help.

Or at least, I assume that's true, as the one time I asked for directions in Spokane I wasn't immediately shot in the face.
And while I don't live in Seoul, I've found the folk in Daegu to be fairly accommodating.
 :smiley:
Title: Re: People reacting rudely when you ask for help
Post by: Don Hobak on November 24, 2020, 09:28:22 am
the one time I asked for directions in Spokane I wasn't immediately shot in the face.

You donít suppose that discreetly placed Crips tattoo over your trachea had anything to do with it?
Title: Re: People reacting rudely when you ask for help
Post by: tylerthegloob on November 24, 2020, 09:41:06 am
Attractive people tend to attract more help.

v true. when i first got off the plane in seoul some taxi ajjusshi started bothering me and i told him i dont need a taxi. then he asked if im looking for the train and he even helped me use the machine to get my AREX ticket. it pays to be beautiful  :angel:

jk im not beautiful, but that dude was super nice and he was pretty much the first korean i interacted with in korea
Title: Re: People reacting rudely when you ask for help
Post by: Chinguetti on November 24, 2020, 10:11:35 am
I think another thing about Seoul and a lot of the bigger cities in Korea in general is that, because it isn't commonplace for strangers to approach each other for anything, there's a lot of suspicion about what your true motive could be. More times than not, whenever a stranger approaches me in Seoul, they're either trying to scam or they're hoping to recruit me into their cult, lol. If it's a man, he's usually (yes, 9x out of 10 usually) being a perv and trying to get me to sleep with him using one of several various methods, which I think is more of a unique situation for foreign women in Korea.

So now I'm always super cautious about people just randomly coming up to talk to me about anything, ESPECIALLY if it's for directions (this goes without saying since I'm a foreigner, but it's also a common scam tactic here to ask for directions before going into some kind of spiel about whatever their scam is). I always give them the benefit of the doubt first, though, and I don't just rudely brush them off until I know what they want, but I guess that might be the difference between big city folk and someone who grew up in a more moderate town.

With all that being said, a very old, very poorly woman who was pushing one of those grandmother carts full of cardboard (she was too frail to handle one of those bigger carts) once approached me asking me something. This was in my first year here, and I couldn't understand her at first, but she was very comfortable with me and kept asking me for help. So while I'm still fiddling around with the translation app to work on mic (old woman couldn't read), an adjusshi sees us and comes over. He's incredibly rude to her, and she immediately lets go of my arm and leaves. It broke my heart, I couldn't believe how mean he was to this frail old woman. At first I thought that maybe he thought she was trying to scam me or something? I dunno, but he didn't even try to find out what she wanted, just immediately said some shit to her that made her run off. Then this asshat asks me where I'm from and if I live alone, and I'm just like, wtf is wrong with you? I leave him and chase down the woman, and I finally get the translation app working so that she can speak into it, and I find out that all she wanted to know was what day of the week it was. I chatted with her a bit, offered to treat her to a meal but she rejected it. I think she was just happy that someone was willing to talk to her.

I wish that were a one-time thing, but there does seem to be something unspoken about not "bothering" others, hence why I feel like the old woman approached me instead of another Korean. She might have heard or thought that foreigners would be more open to her. Many people don't give a flying **** about those sort of rules, though, and they don't mind helping others as long as they don't feel like you're trying to scam them, but there are always assholes who'll use these unspoken rules as an excuse to be assholes.
Title: Re: People reacting rudely when you ask for help
Post by: plan b on November 24, 2020, 10:34:35 am
Totally. Spoken like a guy with some real lived experience.

I was going to say at least theyíre not giving you well-intentioned bad directions, as seems to be the only other alternative when asking for help on the street in Korea.

The reluctance to help people extends far beyond the street however. Reticence to disclose helpful information often extends to people whose duty it is to disclose helpful information, like doctors and managers. My wife is almost pathologically adverse to engaging with strangers on the street. Donít get it and she would be hard pressed to explain it beyond, ďI donít want to bother them,Ē but I feel like it runs much deeper than that. That all said, I hardly think this trait is true of most Koreans, just more than you would expect in a random sample of the population.

But like stoat said, least they ainít poppin no cap in yo ass like they would in nearly every encounter with another human being from Alabama to Wyoming.

You had to make things political? Going off on Red states? Actually the folks from around those parts are some are the friendliest you can find. Way friendlier than more urban areas.
Title: Re: People reacting rudely when you ask for help
Post by: Mr.DeMartino on November 24, 2020, 10:35:07 am
One thing is that people here don't believe you're entitled to help or charity, hence the utter lack of aggressive panhandling. You need to be able to pull your weight.

Also there's certain people that are considered as supposing to help you- police, street vendors, information desk, etc.
Title: Re: People reacting rudely when you ask for help
Post by: Chinguetti on November 24, 2020, 10:45:03 am
You had to make things political? Going off on Red states? Actually the folks from around those parts are some are the friendliest you can find. Way friendlier than more urban areas.

I could be wrong, but it feels like they were both being tongue-in-cheek as a way of poking some fun at a couple of the other users here.
Title: Re: People reacting rudely when you ask for help
Post by: plan b on November 24, 2020, 10:46:51 am
Seoul is kind of notorious for that, you're not the first to say that people from Seoul walk with a "Don't talk to me, get away from me, I'm in a hurry, I hate my life." expression on their face.

If I were to point at something distinctly Korean, I'd say it's something Koreans call "Jeong".

Odds are, you'll only find the positive definition of "Jeong" when you ask a Korean what it means or read about it. In it's nicest sense, it sort of means caring for and being sensitive to the needs of those who you've formed a bond with.

The flip side is that those who are not within your inner-circle/clique are viewed with complete indifference. So, the worst of people aren't going to give a crap about inconveniencing strangers (parking illegally, driving like an asshole, cutting in line etc.) because they're not part of their circle. This could explain why nobody wants to talk to or help strangers, Korea is a very cliquey society.

This cannot be emphasized enough.. Koreans are really nice to you if they know you, but to strangers, not so much. You would be hard pressed to find a Korean to spit on you if you were on fire. These people are simply cut from a different cloth.
Title: Re: People reacting rudely when you ask for help
Post by: Mr.DeMartino on November 24, 2020, 11:01:36 am
This cannot be emphasized enough.. Koreans are really nice to you if they know you, but to strangers, not so much. You would be hard pressed to find a Korean to spit on you if you were on fire. These people are simply cut from a different cloth.
I think that's a bit much. There's far more the various peoples of the world have in common and far more significantly than the many real and imagined differences some claim exist.
Title: Re: People reacting rudely when you ask for help
Post by: fka on November 24, 2020, 11:05:46 am
I disagree about the help thing in Korea. I've had quite a few random strangers give me "above and beyond" levels of help in my time here.
My first experience in Korea, I'd just arrived, and was taking the bus, got off 1 stop too early and decided to walk to my hotel from there (only added like  5 - 10 mins walking time). The young lady that got off with me had her dad pick her up. When they started to see me walking, they gave me a ride right to the hotel.

I wouldn't even get that level of help back home, and if I was offered it, I'd probably assume they were doing something sketchy.

This has been my experience, by and large. I've also seen, on a few occasions, English-speaking Koreans help foreigners on the Seoul subway when they seem unsure about whether to get off the train or how to transfer in the station. I think the big city / small town friendliness divide is largely a cultural myth, here and abroad. Plenty of insular, standoffish people in more rural areas and open, gregarious people in big cities.
Title: Re: People reacting rudely when you ask for help
Post by: Kyndo on November 24, 2020, 11:07:08 am
...from Alabama to Wyoming.
You had to make things political? Going off on Red states? Actually the folks from around those parts are some are the friendliest you can find. Way friendlier than more urban areas.

Even I, one of those poor unfortunate souls who isn't lucky enough to call the USofA home, know that the king of pumpkins used those 2 particular states because they bracket all the others when listed alphabetically.

... but you knew that too, so I'm guessing your comment was just sarcasm, and I should delete my comment, but I've already invested all this effort so no.   :blank:
Title: Re: People reacting rudely when you ask for help
Post by: 745sticky on November 24, 2020, 11:10:35 am
... but you knew that too, so I'm guessing your comment was just sarcasm, and I should delete my comment, but I've already invested all this effort so no.   :blank:

You can never be sure on this website
Title: Re: People reacting rudely when you ask for help
Post by: Aristocrat on November 24, 2020, 12:10:55 pm
This cannot be emphasized enough.. Koreans are really nice to you if they know you, but to strangers, not so much. You would be hard pressed to find a Korean to spit on you if you were on fire. These people are simply cut from a different cloth.

I definitely wouldn't say it's that bad, even as a hyperbole. My point was that the culture of 'Jeong' has a nasty side, but not all Koreans are going to follow traditional Korean culture, to the tee. Funnily enough, my CT at today's school constantly tells me how she loathes Korean culture (particularly the bullying, gossip, backstabbing etc.), she was actually in the process of emigrating, before the virus came around. Yes, she's a small sample group, but many Koreans, particularly the younger generation, would be happy to help a stranger (as long as they feel safe).

When I visited California, I was kind of taken aback with how easily people strike up a conversation with strangers, even from the perspective of a Capetonian where chatting to a stranger while you're in the queue is perfectly normal. Korea, Japan and China are places where people generally don't chat to strangers. This isn't a bad thing, just different.

I've never been the type to ask people for help, so, I can't draw from too many personal experiences. I can only comment on culture.
Title: Re: People reacting rudely when you ask for help
Post by: Kayos on November 24, 2020, 12:14:52 pm
This has been my experience, by and large. I've also seen, on a few occasions, English-speaking Koreans help foreigners on the Seoul subway when they seem unsure about whether to get off the train or how to transfer in the station. I think the big city / small town friendliness divide is largely a cultural myth, here and abroad. Plenty of insular, standoffish people in more rural areas and open, gregarious people in big cities.

I agree.
The story I mentioned happened in Uijeongbu.
I've got other stories like this, from both big cities and small rural areas too.
And I'm definitely not good looking as well. (for Kyndo's point) :p
Title: Re: People reacting rudely when you ask for help
Post by: Don Hobak on November 24, 2020, 12:41:26 pm
You had to make things political? Going off on Red states? Actually the folks from around those parts are some are the friendliest you can find. Way friendlier than more urban areas.

Scusi. Without four simultaneous threads about whatshisface winning the whosawhatsit I have very few outlets for my partisan rancor anymore.

You can never be sure on this website
I actually took stoat to be serious when I first quoted him, but I let my comment stand after I realized that my own sarcasm could also be interpreted as playing off his rather than being critical of it, like laying a Draw 2 on another Draw 2 in Uno rather than a Reverse, as was my original intention, to put it in laymanís terms everyone can understand.
Title: Re: People reacting rudely when you ask for help
Post by: shostager on November 24, 2020, 12:53:12 pm
I'm one of those people that will probably do my best to ignore you, unless you're clearly lost or something.

Part of this is because one of the first strangers (in my first week) to talk to me instantly asked "Are you Russian?" and went from there, even when I assured him I was not (and didn't know what he was implying, at the time).

In Korea, foreigners get more of the benefit of the doubt (are more likely to be lost). In my experience, Koreans who approach me either want me to join their church, or want me to tutor them / their child / their relative (though this happened more when I was living more rurally). I could never imagine just grabbing a rando off the street and asking them to teach my child, even if they were likely to be a teacher.

For the tutor-seekers, I would either A) tell them it's illegal for me to teach off-contract, B) suggest tutors I actually did know who wanted new students, or C) suggest that they come to the English discussion group at the local uni I was a part of (some very high levels there, it was more of a social group, of which I was just one member). People never seemed to take me up on B or C. *shrug*

For the church people, if I catch the vibes early enough and can't ignore, I suddenly become a Spanish speaker who knows 0 English. This will work, hopefully, until I catch that overachiever who also speaks Spanish.

Ignoring people is my first instinct now, unfortunately or not. My mother-in-law was unhappy when I did it last Chuseok on our family walk, but man, it was clearly a church ajeosshi trying to get my attention.
Title: Re: People reacting rudely when you ask for help
Post by: Kyndo on November 24, 2020, 01:03:45 pm
Ignoring people is my first instinct now, unfortunately or not. My mother-in-law was unhappy when I did it last Chuseok on our family walk, but man, it was clearly a church ajeosshi trying to get my attention.

What do you figure he'd have lead with?
 "Are you Russian?" or "Do you know God the Mother?"
Title: Re: People reacting rudely when you ask for help
Post by: shostager on November 24, 2020, 01:13:24 pm
What do you figure he'd have lead with?
 "Are you Russian?" or "Do you know God the Mother?"

I certainly hope that he wouldn't be trying to solicit a prostitute in front of an entire Korean family, one of whom is clearly close to her (I was either holding my husband's hand at the time, or walking right next to him), but you never know.

I've only gotten the Russian question once though, thank goodness.
Title: Re: People reacting rudely when you ask for help
Post by: tylerthegloob on November 24, 2020, 01:22:25 pm
i got the russian question once (and im a dude). a taxi driver said something in russian to me while i was waiting for the bus. i guess i looked confused so he asked me if i was russian in korean. i told him im american and then he got back in his taxi and drove away  :shocked:
Title: Re: People reacting rudely when you ask for help
Post by: Chinguetti on November 24, 2020, 01:27:20 pm
I certainly hope that he wouldn't be trying to solicit a prostitute in front of an entire Korean family, one of whom is clearly close to her (I was either holding my husband's hand at the time, or walking right next to him), but you never know.

I've had a couple older Korean men ask me this while I was out running errands with my male coTs, lmao. And while I was with some female relatives. Of course my male coTs knew what they were asking and ran them off. Female relatives had no idea and I had to explain it to them, and one of them still doesn't believe me, haha.

Some of these guys just don't give a ****, they probably thought I was a prostitute with a john.
Title: Re: People reacting rudely when you ask for help
Post by: Don Hobak on November 24, 2020, 01:58:32 pm
i got the russian question once (and im a dude).

You must be f****** gorgeous  :-*
Title: Re: People reacting rudely when you ask for help
Post by: nightninja on November 24, 2020, 02:31:13 pm
I've gotten asked by some older men a couple times in Seoul, by many Russian people (many live near me and go to my Korean classes and they really thought I was Russian despite speaking only English) and nurses at clinics......the older guys I felt creeped out by and by the Russian men too because one tried to follow me however I'm def not attractive so .....although I still don't know why the nurses etc asked me because they did see my ARC that says USA.....

I am very wary of guys trying to talk to me though because they act like they want to be friendly but its about other things....one guy not Korean decided to take the opportunity to grab me multiple times on a subway too crowded to move an inch.....lucky for him I couldn't move or I might have used my taekwondo on him

I've not experienced too many rude people if I needed help, as long as I asked in Korean...only one I can remember is when I asked the school security guy where the office was on my first day....he was rude and to this day refuses to acknowledge when I greet him
Title: Re: People reacting rudely when you ask for help
Post by: Don Hobak on November 24, 2020, 08:44:38 pm
Yeah, the flipside of this is that I often react rudely to unsolicited ďhelpĒ or casual ďlet me use you to show off my EnglishĒ ďconversationsĒ initiated by strangers. Though now I kind of feel slighted that I have never been asked the Russian question before  :sad: Maybe Iím so attractive the answer is obvious?? I wonder how actual Russians answer that question...

Title: Re: People reacting rudely when you ask for help
Post by: confusedsafferinkorea on November 24, 2020, 09:27:50 pm
Never had that experience but I seldom asked for help. I was offered help quite a few times when I was studying the subway map or loading my card for the train. When we were hiking, we occasionally asked for directions and were always helped and many of the Korean men on the trail took a liking to my wife and we were often invited to share their food with them.  So, overall never had a negative experience with that at all.
Title: Re: People reacting rudely when you ask for help
Post by: VanIslander on November 25, 2020, 02:23:09 am
I have encountered more rude people online than on the streets.

By far.
Title: Re: People reacting rudely when you ask for help
Post by: Chinguetti on November 25, 2020, 07:07:08 am
i got the russian question once (and im a dude). a taxi driver said something in russian to me while i was waiting for the bus. i guess i looked confused so he asked me if i was russian in korean. i told him im american and then he got back in his taxi and drove away  :shocked:

He might have thought you were a pimp, haha.
Title: Re: People reacting rudely when you ask for help
Post by: tylerthegloob on November 25, 2020, 07:33:23 am
damn i really gotta do a self vibe-check. i dont wanna be giving off russian pimp vibes
Title: Re: People reacting rudely when you ask for help
Post by: JNM on November 25, 2020, 03:41:08 pm
...  :sad: Maybe Iím so attractive the answer is obvious?? I wonder how actual Russians answer that question...



I have; whilst wearing a Canada baseball cap.

The first expats I met at the hotel when I arrived were Russian.
Title: Re: People reacting rudely when you ask for help
Post by: Don Hobak on November 25, 2020, 04:05:43 pm
I have
They must have liked the cut of your jeans :wink:

whilst wearing a Canada baseball cap.
They figured you worked for high-end, cosmopolitan clientele?

The first expats I met at the hotel when I arrived were Russian.

What kind of hotel we talkin here?
Title: Re: People reacting rudely when you ask for help
Post by: KimchiNinja on February 21, 2021, 07:06:52 am
Why do people here react so unpleasantly?

Because, they consider what you are doing unpleasant. Why do you do this?

In general you do not address people unless you have had a formal introduction. Definitely you donít approach random people in public. In the rare occasion that one finds this necessary you must follow Confucian rites of propriety; since you are the one disrupting othersí lives there is body language and words that apologize for doing so before asking your brief question. But foreigners often donít know anything about this, and refuse to study it. Although, the other side of that is that as a foreigner you may get some leeway, but donít expect it. This is the way it works in Seoul, at least.

Simple stuff, I learned this my first week in Korea 10yrs ago. Not sure why this question keeps getting asked, and why the answers ignore this cultural fact.
Title: Re: People reacting rudely when you ask for help
Post by: KimchiNinja on February 21, 2021, 07:29:27 am
I'm one of those people that will probably do my best to ignore you...Ignoring people is my first instinct now.

Same here.

In my 3,600 days in Seoul I only recall being addressed in public by a stranger four times (excluding foreigners). Two times were by mentally unstable youths in the subway who seemed to be going around trying to English foreigners. I ignored them. The third time was by a very strange drunk ajusshi in the subway. I was not successful in ignoring him, as he just kept ďhey look, Iím here, Iím talking to you.Ē The fourth time was by a common clothed police man at a crosswalk who I totally ignored until he tapped my shoulder ďno sorry, you actually have to listen to me, see here my badge, have you seen this dirty looking foreigner?Ē I said no, and he bowed and walked off. But this hasnít happened in four years now.

In my view thereís rarely a situation where a non-weirdo would be addressing strangers, so ignore is my default mode. The lack of toxic smalltalk culture is one of my favorite parts of Korea!
Title: Re: People reacting rudely when you ask for help
Post by: 303lmc on February 22, 2021, 07:35:35 am


The reluctance to help people extends far beyond the street however. Reticence to disclose helpful information often extends to people whose duty it is to disclose helpful information, like doctors and managers. My wife is almost pathologically adverse to engaging with strangers on the street. Donít get it and she would be hard pressed to explain it beyond, ďI donít want to bother them,Ē but I feel like it runs much deeper than that. That all said, I hardly think this trait is true of most Koreans, just more than you would expect in a random sample of the population.

While I have always had very good luck and responses from strangers that I have approached for help, all 3 of them. I did start with Korean, and then asked in my tarzan/jane Korean where is ___? they could recognize my limited language skills and went above and beyond to assist me. I was very grateful and thanked them in Korean and bowed accordingly. Other times I would say excuse me in Korean, then ask if they spoke english. it sort of gives them an "out" to not help.

But i HAVE to agree with the quote here on the reluctance to assist when they ARE SUPPOSED TO assist you, like my mentor teacher. I personally HATE being dependent on someone for so much, so I did my best to ask other foreigners and figure it out on my own. but there are times when you NEED a Korean to help you because they understand how "the system" works. not to mention it's super easy for them to hop on naver and look up something whereas my google search will not find it, because it's a Korean issue I'm looking to resolve.
them main one that still irks me is this.  I asked her if there was a bus app when I got here and her answer was No. (come to find out not long after that answer that indeed of course there is an app for the bus) her reasoning was that they  can't tell you exactly when the bus is coming because  it's always different because of traffic. my response was, yes, however if I had an estimate of WHEN it should be there, I can manage my time better. turns out Kakaobus is more exact on the timing than the sign AT THE BUS STOP. it's literally TO THE SECOND. but because she didn't use the bus , she didn't know about it or even care that I needed it! Nor did she take 2 minutes to look on Naver, or even ask anyone else. So basically I stopped asking her and found someone else to ask when things got more complicated. simple example but I think it illustrates my point. 
Title: Re: People reacting rudely when you ask for help
Post by: stoat on February 22, 2021, 07:44:37 am
There seems to be a tendency here for people to say 'no' when they don't know or can't be bothered to think about it. E.g I asked someone telling me to use a certain teaching software if there was a breakout room function as I couldn't find it. She said no. Of course after trying to find it again I worked out where it was.
Title: Re: People reacting rudely when you ask for help
Post by: CO2 on February 22, 2021, 08:53:03 am
but there are times when you NEED a Korean to help you because they understand how "the system" works. not to mention it's super easy for them to hop on naver and look up something whereas my google search will not find it, because it's a Korean issue I'm looking to resolve.
Yeah, I hate asking for help, too, but you nailed it.

 :-* Kevin, can't you figure it out?

 :police: Like, I don't even know HOW/WHERE to even begin figuring this out? Could take me an hour? Maybe? And I might not even have the correct thing. It's a total crapshoot.

:-* Fine, I'll do it.

*2 mins later*

 :-* Got it. It was in 려ㅏ호제대ㅑㅓㄹ제ㅓ매ㅔ네ㅐㅓ맨ㅇ르ㅐㅡㅜ걀대ㅑ귷ㄷㅈ.

 :police: Where?

 :-* You know, in the 뎌ㅑㅐ랴ㅐㅈㄷ루ㅗㅈ댜ㅐㅜ잳루재댜룾댜ㅐㅜㅐㅑㅎㄷ개ㅑㅜㄷㅎㄳ.

 :police: Yeah, you could give me 2 weeks with a computer and I wouldn't have figured that out.

And it's the same in turn. If you're going to Toronto, I'll hook you up with some good restaurants. I'M FROM THERE. Don't JUST use naver blogs to research a place that ISN'T in Korea. It'll take me 2 mins to give you ten restos .
Title: Re: People reacting rudely when you ask for help
Post by: 303lmc on February 22, 2021, 09:16:12 am
Yeah, I hate asking for help, too, but you nailed it.

 :-* Kevin, can't you figure it out?

 :police: Like, I don't even know HOW/WHERE to even begin figuring this out? Could take me an hour? Maybe? And I might not even have the correct thing. It's a total crapshoot.

:-* Fine, I'll do it.

*2 mins later*

 :-* Got it. It was in 려ㅏ호제대ㅑㅓㄹ제ㅓ매ㅔ네ㅐㅓ맨ㅇ르ㅐㅡㅜ걀대ㅑ귷ㄷㅈ.

 :police: Where?

 :-* You know, in the 뎌ㅑㅐ랴ㅐㅈㄷ루ㅗㅈ댜ㅐㅜ잳루재댜룾댜ㅐㅜㅐㅑㅎㄷ개ㅑㅜㄷㅎㄳ.

 :police: Yeah, you could give me 2 weeks with a computer and I wouldn't have figured that out.

And it's the same in turn. If you're going to Toronto, I'll hook you up with some good restaurants. I'M FROM THERE. Don't JUST use naver blogs to research a place that ISN'T in Korea. It'll take me 2 mins to give you ten restos .
100%
this just happens way too much for me. they act like you should know how to look in Naver  for a solution to your situation, but then over explain something simple like to wait for the bus here.  look, I've been riding this bus for months now, I KNOW to wait for it here.
I'm pretty sure that my school thought I suddenly became fluent in understanding Korean because in the classroom I could read the situation and know the gist of what was going on and I can read the vibe. that's when it really got difficult getting help!
Also I would ask my KT for help, or ask her about something and she would tell me to "call them".
I would ask her "do they speak English?"
her reply "No."
so please help me understand why I am calling them if we cannot communicate?????? I can't even count on 2 hands how many times she would say "call them!" (sigh) if i could call them, why am I asking you?  ToT
there are so many things i really love about this place, but this is the hardest for me to deal with.

and as far as helping someone visit my city out, I'd be happy to help you find a hotel, restaurant or a nice hike. hand me your phone so I can type it in the navigation app  or in google for you to reference later. Like you said, I know what's good in my city. if you're asking about ,say the mountains, idk, let's check.
Title: Re: People reacting rudely when you ask for help
Post by: Chinguetti on February 22, 2021, 10:32:09 am
Yeah, I hate that, too. For some of them I think it's their way of saying, "You should be able to communicate in Korean enough to do it, now."

Right or wrong, doesn't change the fact that you can't if you can't, or from the fact that a lot of people's racism really bleeds through during phone calls when you speak broken Korean. I can't tell you the number of times I've literally been screamed at AND hung up on because I didn't 100% understand what they said the first time. When I share my experiences with my handlers, they don't usually believe me, or they think it was a misunderstanding.

There was no misunderstanding. People can be assholes, even if they're Korean. That's all there is to it.
Title: Re: People reacting rudely when you ask for help
Post by: 303lmc on February 22, 2021, 02:16:41 pm
OMG!! you have got to be kidding me.
A Korean friend told me to ask her for help if I need it. So I just did. I'm looking for luggage storage at Hongik uni station. i KNOW it's there but  IS IT OPEN on the weekends or at all because of corona. if it's not open on the weekend, i need to know so I don't lug all my shit up there to find it closed. I'm countryside so taking 2 large, heavy suitcases all the way there is no small feat.

3 guesses as to what she said.
"you can call them and ask" seriously. I've just hit my wall with this.
at least she gave me a phone number. but like I can understand wtf its saying when i call.
I just wish they would stop offering to help when they don't actually WANT TO HELP. i don't offer to help people if I dont' want to.
Title: Re: People reacting rudely when you ask for help
Post by: CO2 on February 22, 2021, 02:34:16 pm
Yeah, if it's a huge query or if you constantly nag with mundane life shit like you said, then I get it. But, it literally takes 45 secs to call and with her being a native speaker, there's ZERO confusion.
Title: Re: People reacting rudely when you ask for help
Post by: 303lmc on February 22, 2021, 02:46:04 pm
Yeah, if it's a huge query or if you constantly nag with mundane life shit like you said, then I get it. But, it literally takes 45 secs to call and with her being a native speaker, there's ZERO confusion.
I don't think that they understand how freaking COMPLICATED  stuff is now that corona has closed the most ridiculous stuff now.

for instance I cannot find ONE place in Seoul that vertoe.com stores luggage. I just tried it again and nothing comes up.

the good news is the person DID speak English, he actually texted my phone which is easier because they can use translator app if needed. but I think they don't open until 11 am and my flight is at 1:20. with it taking an hour to get to the airport this isn't going to work, but for one day. but at least i can get it up there closer and spend my last precious time finding another place.
edit: thanks for letting me rant. this is not that complicated of a situation, but figuring it out on your own, WAY TOO COMPLICATED.
Title: Re: People reacting rudely when you ask for help
Post by: Mr.DeMartino on February 22, 2021, 03:00:16 pm
While what you're saying is true about not being the best help, at the same time, a lot of people here tend to demand help (and English service) as a right, rather than a favor. Also, you get people who ask for help first, rather than trying to solve it themselves first. Finally, you have people who become "help dependent" and don't really try to get better at things.

I mean, just look at the posters on here who throw a temper tantrum the second they have to deal with a Korean website. Or the wifi freeloader we all know. Or the skinflint who won't accept a simple solution that costs 1,500 won but wants a difficult won that costs nothing and expects the person to spend 20 minutes of their life trying to save them 1,500 won (meanwhile said person constantly complains about their wage).

Are plenty of Koreans the types who can't be arsed? Sure. But as someone who transitioned from being someone who needed help to someone who can help, let me say that it's a real different experience when you're on the other side. Before you judge those who roll their eyes at helping, try being the office waygookin problem solver for 12. You'll probably do it too for some things.
Title: Re: People reacting rudely when you ask for help
Post by: 303lmc on February 22, 2021, 03:06:00 pm
I only ask for help from Korean friends when I have exhausted all my other options, meaning internet search, FB groups, kakaotalk chats.
i literally HATE asking people for help. I don't even like asking in the foreigner groups.
I just find that since corona has complicated so many things, closed stuff down, info on the internet cannot be trusted.
Title: Re: People reacting rudely when you ask for help
Post by: Kyndo on February 23, 2021, 08:01:50 am
Before you judge those who roll their eyes at helping, try being the office waygookin problem solver for 12. You'll probably do it too for some things.
Doesn't make it right, especially when that teacher is assigned the duty to help the foreign teacher. It's part of the job they're being paid to do. If those handlers can't be bothered to make a phone call on their NETs behalf, then they're literally not doing their job.
   
   It's something like a shift manager not bothering to tell the new employee how to operate the deep fryer. Not only is it lazy and unprofessional, it's also counterproductive.
   I was a regional coordinator for a couple years in Japan, and there were a *lot* of dumb questions, but answering them was part of the job.
  Understanding that they're not necessarily dumb questions/problems to the person asking was definitely key to becoming a better coordinator! (I mean, I was still sarcastic and snarky, but I was *sympathetically* sarcastic and snarky :smiley: ).
Title: Re: People reacting rudely when you ask for help
Post by: 745sticky on February 23, 2021, 08:20:25 am
While what you're saying is true about not being the best help, at the same time, a lot of people here tend to demand help (and English service) as a right, rather than a favor. Also, you get people who ask for help first, rather than trying to solve it themselves first. Finally, you have people who become "help dependent" and don't really try to get better at things.

I mean, just look at the posters on here who throw a temper tantrum the second they have to deal with a Korean website. Or the wifi freeloader we all know. Or the skinflint who won't accept a simple solution that costs 1,500 won but wants a difficult won that costs nothing and expects the person to spend 20 minutes of their life trying to save them 1,500 won (meanwhile said person constantly complains about their wage).

Are plenty of Koreans the types who can't be arsed? Sure. But as someone who transitioned from being someone who needed help to someone who can help, let me say that it's a real different experience when you're on the other side. Before you judge those who roll their eyes at helping, try being the office waygookin problem solver for 12. You'll probably do it too for some things.

I like how you assume the worst of us while giving everyone else massive benefit of the doubt
Title: Re: People reacting rudely when you ask for help
Post by: stoat on February 23, 2021, 08:21:40 am
Agreed. If it's just some random guy in the office who's unhelpful  fine you won't ask them for help again. If it's someone's specific role in their job description, that's a different matter. I guess problems arise when someone with an attitude problem, like DM,  gets assigned a role to help people unofficially or against their will and ends up resenting it.  Makes you wonder what these people are like as teachers though, considering virtually their entire job day in day out is to help people with stuff they probably should have spent more of their own time trying to get the hang of .
Title: Re: People reacting rudely when you ask for help
Post by: OnNut81 on February 23, 2021, 08:56:30 am
I like how you assume the worst of us while giving everyone else massive benefit of the doubt

HaHaHa, perfect summation of DMart's outlook. 
Title: Re: People reacting rudely when you ask for help
Post by: OnNut81 on February 23, 2021, 09:03:39 am
Agreed. If it's just some random guy in the office who's unhelpful  fine you won't ask them for help again. If it's someone's specific role in their job description, that's a different matter. I guess problems arise when someone with an attitude problem, like DM,  gets assigned a role to help people unofficially or against their will and ends up resenting it.  Makes you wonder what these people are like as teachers though, considering virtually their entire job day in day out is to help people with stuff they probably should have spent more of their own time trying to get the hang of .

Come on, do you actually believe DMart had that role?  Not for a second do I buy that.  Just trying to bolster his argument with his usual horsesh*t.  He was king of that on Dave's Cafe.  Whatever the discussion topic was he either had personal experience in the field or had a close relative that was a pilot, banker, union activist, bookie, CEO, male escort etc.  It's why he can be so entertaining and never gets the boot.  Truth is no barrier for him to hold court on any given topic. 
Title: Re: People reacting rudely when you ask for help
Post by: stoat on February 23, 2021, 09:43:31 am
Well I must admit it wouldn't be a very inspiring management decision.

'Now we need someone with patience and understanding to babysit all the Waygooks in the office who can't speak Korean or use the latest phone aps. How about Martin?'
Title: Re: People reacting rudely when you ask for help
Post by: OnNut81 on February 23, 2021, 09:47:10 am
Well I must admit it wouldn't be a very inspiring management decision.

'Now we need someone with patience and understanding to babysit all the Waygooks in the office who can't speak Korean or use the latest phone aps. How about Martin?'

Does Martino even speak Korean?  I mean he'll probably come along now and claim he's fluent, but in truth world, I don't think he speaks the tongue of those he defends so tirelessly. 
Title: Re: People reacting rudely when you ask for help
Post by: Mr.DeMartino on February 23, 2021, 11:33:26 am
Doesn't make it right, especially when that teacher is assigned the duty to help the foreign teacher. It's part of the job they're being paid to do. If those handlers can't be bothered to make a phone call on their NETs behalf, then they're literally not doing their job.
   
   It's something like a shift manager not bothering to tell the new employee how to operate the deep fryer. Not only is it lazy and unprofessional, it's also counterproductive.
   I was a regional coordinator for a couple years in Japan, and there were a *lot* of dumb questions, but answering them was part of the job.
  Understanding that they're not necessarily dumb questions/problems to the person asking was definitely key to becoming a better coordinator! (I mean, I was still sarcastic and snarky, but I was *sympathetically* sarcastic and snarky :smiley: ).
Of course you help but at some point you gave to take off the training wheels and the cubs have to learn how to figure things out for themselves.

Long-term people need to learn not to be dependent. If you ask for help as a last, rather than a first resort, you will develop the ability to use things.

Heck, just look on here when someone was told about John Cook deli meat and they got frustrated and just gave up after 30 seconds. Obviously they had trouble developing the skill of patiently working through a difficult problem on their own. The better thing for this person wouldn't be to help them, but to tell them "Get it done. Do it yourself. You WILL accomplish this task and I expect it to be accomplished."
Title: Re: People reacting rudely when you ask for help
Post by: Mr.DeMartino on February 23, 2021, 11:35:12 am
I like how you assume the worst of us while giving everyone else massive benefit of the doubt
Didn't people do that here, just the other way around? Also, I put in qualifiers to make it clear I wasn't talking about everyone.
Title: Re: People reacting rudely when you ask for help
Post by: Mr.DeMartino on February 23, 2021, 11:37:38 am
Agreed. If it's just some random guy in the office who's unhelpful  fine you won't ask them for help again. If it's someone's specific role in their job description, that's a different matter. I guess problems arise when someone with an attitude problem, like DM,  gets assigned a role to help people unofficially or against their will and ends up resenting it.  Makes you wonder what these people are like as teachers though, considering virtually their entire job day in day out is to help people with stuff they probably should have spent more of their own time trying to get the hang of .
Giving people the answer rather than making it clear when they should be able to solve the problem on their own and not accepting whining or laziness or using others to make your life easier at the expense of theirs are boundaries teachers should set.
Title: Re: People reacting rudely when you ask for help
Post by: Mr.DeMartino on February 23, 2021, 11:44:07 am
Come on, do you actually believe DMart had that role?  Not for a second do I buy that.  Just trying to bolster his argument with his usual horsesh*t.  He was king of that on Dave's Cafe.  Whatever the discussion topic was he either had personal experience in the field or had a close relative that was a pilot, banker, union activist, bookie, CEO, male escort etc.  It's why he can be so entertaining and never gets the boot.  Truth is no barrier for him to hold court on any given topic. 
That role in ESL? No, but I can empathize with those that have because I see them deal with it. In other jobs? Yes, I have.

You know both Captain Corea and recently Mr. C made the same claim that I was bsing about knowing X or having done Y. CC was given my facebook deets in PM, never made the claim again after that. Likewise with Mr. C (on that issue- He still thinks I'm full of it on plenty else! :smiley:)

Just because your upbringing and life events were a certain way, doesnt mean others were.
Title: Re: People reacting rudely when you ask for help
Post by: Mr.DeMartino on February 23, 2021, 11:45:02 am
Does Martino even speak Korean?  I mean he'll probably come along now and claim he's fluent, but in truth world, I don't think he speaks the tongue of those he defends so tirelessly. 
My Korean is shit. Never claimed otherwise.
Title: Re: People reacting rudely when you ask for help
Post by: Mr.DeMartino on February 23, 2021, 11:46:08 am
Well I must admit it wouldn't be a very inspiring management decision.

'Now we need someone with patience and understanding to babysit all the Waygooks in the office who can't speak Korean or use the latest phone aps. How about Martin?'
What? As opposed to your scintillating personality which has drawn rave reviews here on waygook.org?
Title: Re: People reacting rudely when you ask for help
Post by: Kyndo on February 23, 2021, 12:02:34 pm
Of course you help but at some point you gave to take off the training wheels and the cubs have to learn how to figure things out for themselves.

Long-term people need to learn not to be dependent. If you ask for help as a last, rather than a first resort, you will develop the ability to use things.

True, but keep in mind that the majority of NETs in Korea are first-timers, turn-over being what it is. Most aren't here long enough to have their training wheels torn off. Which means that the same problems keep coming up over and over and over again.   :undecided:
Title: Re: People reacting rudely when you ask for help
Post by: stoat on February 23, 2021, 12:18:28 pm
Quote
Of course you help but at some point you gave to take off the training wheels and the cubs have to learn how to figure things out for themselves

Depends whether it's part of their job description or not and whether they've been trained to do it. An IT guy responsible for troubleshooting can't tell an employee they should have learned how to install a new printer in their free time so he doesn't have to do it for them. Unless it's in their job description or they've had training. Similarly a KET can't turn round and tell a NET their Korean should be good enough to phone immigration or whatever if they've had no Korean lessons provided by the school and it wasn't part of their job requirements. 
Title: Re: People reacting rudely when you ask for help
Post by: stoat on February 23, 2021, 01:14:25 pm
What? As opposed to your scintillating personality which has drawn rave reviews here on waygook.org?

Is there a review section on here, must have missed that. Is it a bit like this?

DeMartino's treatment of the sensitive statue issue was particularly insightful, can't wait for the next installment.

****

Has Mayorhaggar's White Supremacist series finally jumped the shark? 

*

Aristocrat's new gym ramble splendidly re-defines egocentricity.   

*****
Title: Re: People reacting rudely when you ask for help
Post by: tylerthegloob on February 23, 2021, 01:56:46 pm
ooooh do one for gloob @stoat
Title: Re: People reacting rudely when you ask for help
Post by: Mr C on February 23, 2021, 02:10:41 pm
Is there a review section on here, must have missed that. Is it a bit like this?

DeMartino's treatment of the sensitive statue issue was particularly insightful, can't wait for the next installment.

****

Has Mayorhaggar's White Supremacist series finally jumped the shark? 

*

Aristocrat's new gym ramble splendidly re-defines egocentricity.   

*****

*cough*

Mr. C is not a bad person, in fact is quite a good person here. One of the best people on this forum if you really look at it
Title: Re: People reacting rudely when you ask for help
Post by: stoat on February 23, 2021, 02:14:51 pm
ooooh do one for gloob @stoat

Quote
hey man dont forget to worry about the things that could go wrong ON thursday. did u see that flight over colorado where the engine caught fire? so don't worry mister t, there's always something to worry about

Here's one from the daily Mail  :laugh:

Is woke education responsible for the way young people write today?

*
Title: Re: People reacting rudely when you ask for help
Post by: Mr.DeMartino on February 23, 2021, 02:47:51 pm
*cough*

Mr. C is not a bad person, in fact is quite a good person here. One of the best people on this forum if you really look at it

Pay no heed to being snubbed by the Rotten Kimchi peanut gallery. The ratings of Top Critics such as myself are all that count and I stand by my accolades. 
Title: Re: People reacting rudely when you ask for help
Post by: feedtaletwo on February 23, 2021, 03:02:42 pm
I've never been the type to ask people for help, so, I can't draw from too many personal experiences. I can only comment on culture. get-vidmate.com (https://get-vidmate.com) instasave.onl (https://instasave.onl)
 
Title: Re: People reacting rudely when you ask for help
Post by: Kyndo on February 24, 2021, 08:04:44 am
I've never been the type to ask people for help, so, I can't draw from too many personal experiences. I can only comment on culture.
I know, right?
My tried and true tactic is to make such a huge mess of things that it's clear to everybody around me that if somebody doesn't quickly step in and volunteer assistance, the whole darn boat will sink.  :smiley:
Title: Re: People reacting rudely when you ask for help
Post by: 745sticky on February 24, 2021, 08:24:51 am
Didn't people do that here, just the other way around? Also, I put in qualifiers to make it clear I wasn't talking about everyone.
i disagree with them too, but other posters have already given them a reasonable enough refutation