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Symposium => "Open" Discussions => Topic started by: zola on November 22, 2018, 10:35:47 am

Title: Age difference in relationships
Post by: zola on November 22, 2018, 10:35:47 am
Why do some women get so bent out of shape when an older guy has a relationship with a younger women?

I was up in Seoul last night, so I met up with a bunch of people who used to hang out together in my first year. One of the guys is 39 and his girlfriend (not present) is 22 and she is about to graduate university next month. The four females present during this discussion flipped out. "You are disgusting. I can't believe you are doing this." I thought they were joking at first, but they wouldn't let it go and the guy ended up walking out of the restaurant. Then they turned on the rest of us, giving us the inquisition "Would you do that? Do you think that's acceptable? He's old enough to be her father." I told them that in the past I had been in a relationship with a girl 10 years my junior. That was met with similar hissing and "gross!". Wtf. Like 17 years, ok I can kind of see that some might find that distasteful. But really, who cares? 10 years? That's nothing. A 25 year old and a 35 year old together is "gross"?

What do you think is the line, where age difference becomes unacceptable? Is it really that bad? If it's two consenting adults? Who gives a shit? I was taken aback by their reaction.
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: Kayos on November 22, 2018, 10:39:51 am
Usually: half you age + 7, rounded down.
But once you hit your mid 20s, no one under 18, or no 18 year old that hasn't finished high school.

But yeah, more than anything, if it is 2 consenting adults, then who cares.
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: Cyanea on November 22, 2018, 11:06:57 am
Because they're silly judgemental 20-somethings! Clueless about the world but they think they know everything and are entitled to force their narrow-mindedness on others.
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: carter1l on November 22, 2018, 11:13:56 am
After the consenting age of 18 it's really just a number and doesn't matter. As long as the two are consenting and happy there really shouldn't be any problem. I usually date based off maturity levels which almost always never reflects their actual age. Those girls are just judgmental.
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: zola on November 22, 2018, 11:17:33 am
Because they're silly judgemental 20-somethings! Clueless about the world but they think they know everything and are entitled to force their narrow-mindedness on others.
Actually, one is 29 the other three are in their mid 30s. Two are married with kids.
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: #basedcowboyshirt on November 22, 2018, 11:27:19 am
There are always going to be people love to get judgmental and self-righteous about stuff.

I don't hang out with people like that. Maybe you shouldn't, either?
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: SeoulAlone on November 22, 2018, 11:40:36 am
There are always going to be people love to get judgmental and self-righteous about stuff.

I don't hang out with people like that. Maybe you shouldn't, either?

This...

I wonder what they would have said if it was a woman dating a guy just about to graduate university?  Like others have said, age is just a number.  I prefer men much younger than myself, so I don't know what the big deal is.
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: JNM on November 22, 2018, 11:43:32 am
Studies show that women find men 5 years older than themselves most attractive; men find 20 year women most attractive, regardless of their own age.

[shrug]
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: Savant on November 22, 2018, 11:46:30 am
Because they're silly judgemental 20-somethings! Clueless about the world but they think they know everything and are entitled to force their narrow-mindedness on others.
Actually, one is 29 the other three are in their mid 30s. Two are married with kids.

So, mentally, still "silly judgemental 20-somethings".
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: CO2 on November 22, 2018, 11:51:20 am
I follow the letter of the law.

Now, would I personally get involved with an 18 year old?

99% no. A) They would most likely annoy the shit out of me and B) what 18 year old wants to get involved with a 33 year old?

But still, I don't give a shit. Women are allowed to do what they want with their bodies, right? Is that not common thinking. Women can have abortions, don't slut shame etc?

OMG that creepy guy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yeah, put all the onus on him, sure. Women are allowed to make their own mistakes. Women are smart, just like men, let them fukk up their lives. We all have done that at some point.
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: AvecPommesFrites on November 22, 2018, 12:01:33 pm
It's the same when a teacher has sex with a student. If it is a male teacher then the world goes berserk and he gets thrown in jail for a long time.

When it's a woman having sex with a student then the student is hero, the teacher gets a stern telling off and 100 hours community service.

Reverse the roles in OP's scenario and have the woman be significantly older than the man and I don't think your friends say anything except, lucky you banter.
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: Chinguetti on November 22, 2018, 12:02:23 pm
There are several reasons for that attitude, but I don't feel like getting into them because even without those reasons people will still find other reasons to judge.

As long as everyone involved are consenting adults.

As long as no one is stringing anyone along.

As long as they're not destroying something in the process.

Then why dafuq would anyone care? Leave them alone, gawd.

I remember reading a story about a woman with incredible genes who couldn't maintain a relationship because people wouldn't stop judging the shit out of her and the men she dated. She was like in her 40s but looked like she was in her 20s. She didn't want to date younger men and was only interested in men her own age or older, but she and her boyfriends would get a ton of grief from strangers who thought they had a sugar-daddy/sugar-baby setup. It was bad enough to ruin every single one of her relationships. I can't find that story, but if I do Ima post it here.
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: eggieguffer on November 22, 2018, 12:20:39 pm
Is the girlfriend Asian? That tends to rile Western women up more. I imagine if she was Thai or Filippina they'd have been apoplectic.
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: sh9wntm on November 22, 2018, 12:23:23 pm
Because women overall are jealous creatures (shocker) and the feeling that they may have passed their prime is difficult to manage, so they'll blame guys like your friend or society at large or patriarchal injustice. This really shouldn't be surprising.

The anthropological data doesn't lie, hypergamy is human nature. The woman in her early 20's isn't complaining, LOL.
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: Cyanea on November 22, 2018, 12:28:44 pm
Because they're silly judgemental 20-somethings! Clueless about the world but they think they know everything and are entitled to force their narrow-mindedness on others.
Actually, one is 29 the other three are in their mid 30s. Two are married with kids.

Well... Koreans aren't exactly free thinkers.

They are conformists who live their lives to the formula dictated to them, they don't have their own mind and get angry at anyone who does.

They show the same outrage at any woman who is still unmarried at age 33.


Korean society is a straightjacket that squeezes the life out of anyone in it and despises anyone who doesn't want to get into it.
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: tylerthegloob on November 22, 2018, 12:35:59 pm
Because they're silly judgemental 20-somethings! Clueless about the world but they think they know everything and are entitled to force their narrow-mindedness on others.
Actually, one is 29 the other three are in their mid 30s. Two are married with kids.

Well... Koreans aren't exactly free thinkers.

They are conformists who live their lives to the formula dictated to them, they don't have their own mind and get angry at anyone who does.

They show the same outrage at any woman who is still unmarried at age 33.


Korean society is a straightjacket that squeezes the life out of anyone in it and despises anyone who doesn't want to get into it.

No one said anything about any one of these people being Korean..? yOUr biGOtrY hAs beEn nOtEd. (@'Tino am I doing it right?)
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: Kayos on November 22, 2018, 12:42:50 pm
It's the same when a teacher has sex with a student. If it is a male teacher then the world goes berserk and he gets thrown in jail for a long time.

When it's a woman having sex with a student then the student is hero, the teacher gets a stern telling off and 100 hours community service.

Reverse the roles in OP's scenario and have the woman be significantly older than the man and I don't think your friends say anything except, lucky you banter.

I just watched the south park episode that makes this joke too.
My favourite line, is when the police chief goes: "Where were all the hot, sex'd up teachers when I was a kid?!"
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: zola on November 22, 2018, 01:32:24 pm
Because they're silly judgemental 20-somethings! Clueless about the world but they think they know everything and are entitled to force their narrow-mindedness on others.
Actually, one is 29 the other three are in their mid 30s. Two are married with kids.

Well... Koreans aren't exactly free thinkers.

They are conformists who live their lives to the formula dictated to them, they don't have their own mind and get angry at anyone who does.

They show the same outrage at any woman who is still unmarried at age 33.


Korean society is a straightjacket that squeezes the life out of anyone in it and despises anyone who doesn't want to get into it.
They weren't Korean. 2 English women and 2 Americans. The only Korean involved was the 22 year old he is dating.
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: eggieguffer on November 22, 2018, 01:42:24 pm
Quote
They weren't Korean. 2 English women and 2 Americans. The only Korean involved was the 22 year old he is dating.

Yep that's what I thought. I bet the reaction wouldn't have been as strong if she'd been Western.
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: PatrickBateman on November 22, 2018, 01:56:21 pm
Typical.

If it was a 40 +-year-old woman dating a 30 or younger guy...  " you go girl"  " you still got it"  " you are such a cougar, milf ect.. "

Of course, if it's a guy..   " He is a pig", " Can't get a girl his own age" so on ect..   Women in their 30's are gonna hate because they know their time is up and they are aging inside and out, and guys, including their husbands, secretly lust after younger fertile women.  It's just nature. We are animals for fooks sake.  Any guy with testosterone above 200.. would love to bang a 20-year-old, no matter if you're 30, 40, 50, 60, 70..    If you say no that's gross.. you have homo tendencies that you need to be explored or go get a blood test and get on TRT. 
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: theman3285 on November 22, 2018, 02:00:23 pm
you have homo tendencies that you need to be explored or go get a blood test and get on TRT.
No homo, but what's the deal with TRT in korea? Readily available?

Asking for a friend...
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: Cyanea on November 22, 2018, 02:02:29 pm
They weren't Korean. 2 English women and 2 Americans. The only Korean involved was the 22 year old he is dating.

I see. Just insecure and spiteful then.

I remember reading a story about a woman with incredible genes who couldn't maintain a relationship because people wouldn't stop judging the shit out of her and the men she dated.

Thats a bit sad. Being a western guy with a Korean women can be similar at times. If you don't fit the mould, people will exert unrelenting stress on your relationship. Why? because people feel threatened by difference.

Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: theman3285 on November 22, 2018, 02:03:05 pm
Why do some women get so bent out of shape when an older guy has a relationship with a younger women?

I was up in Seoul last night, so I met up with a bunch of people who used to hang out together in my first year. One of the guys is 39 and his girlfriend (not present) is 22 and she is about to graduate university next month. The four females present during this discussion flipped out. "You are disgusting. I can't believe you are doing this." I thought they were joking at first, but they wouldn't let it go and the guy ended up walking out of the restaurant. Then they turned on the rest of us, giving us the inquisition "Would you do that? Do you think that's acceptable? He's old enough to be her father." I told them that in the past I had been in a relationship with a girl 10 years my junior. That was met with similar hissing and "gross!". Wtf. Like 17 years, ok I can kind of see that some might find that distasteful. But really, who cares? 10 years? That's nothing. A 25 year old and a 35 year old together is "gross"?

What do you think is the line, where age difference becomes unacceptable? Is it really that bad? If it's two consenting adults? Who gives a shit? I was taken aback by their reaction.
I'm willing to bet any amount of money that these girls were total mingers.
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: plan b on November 22, 2018, 02:13:37 pm
Women are threatened anytime a man has choices. When a man chooses a younger woman, they go ballistic, and do what they do best..shame men or at least try to shame men. Many men submit to this "shame" and try to find a more age appropriate woman.

As women age, they realize that their stock value plummets, and they no longer have as much power over men as they did when they were young. They try to exert their diminishing power by shaming men into making decisions that show that aging women still have value. It's nothing but selfish behavior, but what can you expect from women really?


Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: PatrickBateman on November 22, 2018, 02:14:03 pm
you have homo tendencies that you need to be explored or go get a blood test and get on TRT.
No homo, but what's the deal with TRT in korea? Readily available?

Asking for a friend...

Yeah, you can get it.  I think the Itaewon clinic doctor even prescribes it after a blood test.  But I'm sure youll pay a bit of a premium.   Don't wait and get it checked if you feel like it might be low.  Our test is more than half of what our grandfathers were.  All the pollution, plastics, chemicals ect. is castrating men.  Keeps us complacent, docile and easy to control.  Not hard to see the results, look at all the soy boys and other emasculated men everywhere putting on makeup.  Men are becoming more like women, and women more like men.   Get on test, grow your beard, and pick up heavy things and put them down over and over.
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: Aristocrat on November 22, 2018, 02:21:21 pm
Typical.

If it was a 40 +-year-old woman dating a 30 or younger guy...  " you go girl"  " you still got it"  " you are such a cougar, milf ect.. "

Of course, if it's a guy..   " He is a pig", " Can't get a girl his own age" so on ect..   Women in their 30's are gonna hate because they know their time is up and they are aging inside and out, and guys, including their husbands, secretly lust after younger fertile women.  It's just nature. We are animals for fooks sake.  Any guy with testosterone above 200.. would love to bang a 20-year-old, no matter if you're 30, 40, 50, 60, 70..    If you say no that's gross.. you have homo tendencies that you need to be explored or go get a blood test and get on TRT.

Well, I have 2 problems with what you said:

1 - Men and women, despite both being human, are physically and cognitively different and this has had an effect in
societal views. As you say, there is indeed a double standard that women are generally exalted for dating younger guys while men are looked on as old lechers. A true 'alpha male', as is popularly called today, shouldn't give a sh*t what others say about him. He isn't easily swayed by opinions of others or whether there's a double standard. So what?

2 - You might argue differently, but it is our ability to deny or channel our raw instinct that makes us different from animals. All the evidence makes me believe that it's perfectly sound that men find 20yr old women most attractive, regardless of their age. Still, the fact that we find them attractive doesn't mean it's natural or justified for men to
abandon a current relationship to be with a 20yr old; We are not animals, just because the drive is there doesn't mean it's right to fulfil it in the most basic fashion, it's the paradox that makes us human.

Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: theman3285 on November 22, 2018, 02:22:22 pm
Get on test, grow your beard, and pick up heavy things and put them down over and over.
Amen. Go into beast mode like Patrick Bateman (minus the prozzie killing)

Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: Datasapien on November 22, 2018, 02:22:49 pm
It's the same when a teacher has sex with a student. If it is a male teacher then the world goes berserk and he gets thrown in jail for a long time.

When it's a woman having sex with a student then the student is hero, the teacher gets a stern telling off and 100 hours community service.

Reverse the roles in OP's scenario and have the woman be significantly older than the man and I don't think your friends say anything except, lucky you banter.

I just watched the south park episode that makes this joke too.
My favourite line, is when the police chief goes: "Where were all the hot, sex'd up teachers when I was a kid?!"

 :laugh: Made me think of that episode too lol.
"We need to track this boy down ... and give him his luckiest boy in America medal right away."  :laugh:
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: Chinguetti on November 22, 2018, 02:26:28 pm
There is definitely a double-standard.

But I think a lot of people are under the impression that men don't carry these same views.

They totally do, lol. The story that I was talking about with the woman who couldn't maintain any of her relationships because of strangers? The grief was coming from both men and women, and her boyfriends often broke off the relationships because they got tired of dealing with aggression coming from other men.

There are many reasons for this, and yes, envy and insecurity CAN be among them, but they're not the only or even the main reasons.

Older men with younger women are often associated with cheaters, sugar daddies, and those going through mid-life crisis, and people, both men and women, don't generally approve of those types and the behaviors that are normally associated with them.
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: tylerthegloob on November 22, 2018, 02:27:32 pm
Typical.

If it was a 40 +-year-old woman dating a 30 or younger guy...  " you go girl"  " you still got it"  " you are such a cougar, milf ect.. "

Of course, if it's a guy..   " He is a pig", " Can't get a girl his own age" so on ect..   Women in their 30's are gonna hate because they know their time is up and they are aging inside and out, and guys, including their husbands, secretly lust after younger fertile women.  It's just nature. We are animals for fooks sake.  Any guy with testosterone above 200.. would love to bang a 20-year-old, no matter if you're 30, 40, 50, 60, 70..    If you say no that's gross.. you have homo tendencies that you need to be explored or go get a blood test and get on TRT.

Still, the fact that we find them attractive doesn't mean it's natural or justified for men to
abandon a current relationship to be with a 20yr old; We are not animals, just because the drive is there doesn't mean it's right to fulfil it in the most basic fashion, it's the paradox that makes us human.

I wish more men got this. There's nothing unmanly about restraint.
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: PatrickBateman on November 22, 2018, 02:27:50 pm
Typical.

If it was a 40 +-year-old woman dating a 30 or younger guy...  " you go girl"  " you still got it"  " you are such a cougar, milf ect.. "

Of course, if it's a guy..   " He is a pig", " Can't get a girl his own age" so on ect..   Women in their 30's are gonna hate because they know their time is up and they are aging inside and out, and guys, including their husbands, secretly lust after younger fertile women.  It's just nature. We are animals for fooks sake.  Any guy with testosterone above 200.. would love to bang a 20-year-old, no matter if you're 30, 40, 50, 60, 70..    If you say no that's gross.. you have homo tendencies that you need to be explored or go get a blood test and get on TRT.

Well, I have 2 problems with what you said:

1 - Men and women, despite both being human, are physically and cognitively different and this has had an effect in
societal views. As you say, there is indeed a double standard that women are generally exalted for dating younger guys while men are looked on as old lechers. A true 'alpha male', as is popularly called today, shouldn't give a sh*t what others say about him. He isn't easily swayed by opinions of others or whether there's a double standard. So what?

2 - You might argue differently, but it is our ability to deny or channel our raw instinct that makes us different from animals. All the evidence makes me believe that it's perfectly sound that men find 20yr old women most attractive, regardless of their age. Still, the fact that we find them attractive
 mean it's natural or justified for men to abandon a current relationship to be with a 20yr old; We are not animals, just because the drive is there doesn't mean it's right to fulfil it in the most basic fashion, it's the paradox that makes us human.

Agree with you. I never said to abandon a current relationship.  I'm just talking deep at our core and not even considering the thousands of years or social evolution and construction.  Obviously, our use of logic and reason separates us from animals.  But at our deepest core we still are and we want to bang every woman we see if we could.  Hot girl walks buy you stare at her ass and want to hump her... first thing that enters your head..  obviously, we can't for a myriad of reasons..  but it's still our first raw thought.
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: eggieguffer on November 22, 2018, 02:30:42 pm
There is definitely a double-standard.

But I think a lot of people are under the impression that men don't carry these same views.

They totally do, lol. The story that I was talking about with the woman who couldn't maintain any of her relationships because of strangers? The grief was coming from both men and women, and her boyfriends often broke off the relationships because they got tired of dealing with aggression coming from other men.

There are many reasons for this, and yes, envy and insecurity CAN be among them, but they're not the only reasons.

What sort of guy would break off a relationship because of strangers' comments about an age gap? Sounds more like a 'he's just not that into you' excuse.
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: theman3285 on November 22, 2018, 02:36:02 pm
Women are threatened anytime a man has choices. When a man chooses a younger woman, they go ballistic, and do what they do best..shame men or at least try to shame men. Many men submit to this "shame" and try to find a more age appropriate woman.

As women age, they realize that their stock value plummets, and they no longer have as much power over men as they did when they were young. They try to exert their diminishing power by shaming men into making decisions that show that aging women still have value. It's nothing but selfish behavior, but what can you expect from women really?
+1000000000

Good to know there are some real men left in the Waygook community. Women are highly adept at identifying and exploiting male weakness. It's all part of the screening process for potential mates. For instance, a woman might try to shame a man before sleeping with him, as a test. Act butt hurt, and you're out. Laugh it off, and you're in. Unfortunately some women have cottoned on to the fact that their natural inclination to shame men can also be used in a purely spiteful capacity. This is literally the basest form of human behavior I can imagine.
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: hangook77 on November 22, 2018, 02:36:51 pm
Why do some women get so bent out of shape when an older guy has a relationship with a younger women?

I was up in Seoul last night, so I met up with a bunch of people who used to hang out together in my first year. One of the guys is 39 and his girlfriend (not present) is 22 and she is about to graduate university next month. The four females present during this discussion flipped out. "You are disgusting. I can't believe you are doing this." I thought they were joking at first, but they wouldn't let it go and the guy ended up walking out of the restaurant. Then they turned on the rest of us, giving us the inquisition "Would you do that? Do you think that's acceptable? He's old enough to be her father." I told them that in the past I had been in a relationship with a girl 10 years my junior. That was met with similar hissing and "gross!". Wtf. Like 17 years, ok I can kind of see that some might find that distasteful. But really, who cares? 10 years? That's nothing. A 25 year old and a 35 year old together is "gross"?

What do you think is the line, where age difference becomes unacceptable? Is it really that bad? If it's two consenting adults? Who gives a shit? I was taken aback by their reaction.

It's called jealousy.  I mean honestly, do you think I give a shit if a 40 year old chick dates a 25 year old guy.  It's less frequent but does happen a bit more than before.  I was in my 20's and me and a few buddies use to bust a nut over Demi Moore when she had that bikini scene in Charlie's Angels.  It was a long time ago, but she was like 40 at the time?  I did date a couple of women 5 or so years older than me.  They were pretty hot and didn't look old at all.  But, mostly I date younger.  I'm getting up near the poster's age and am surprised at how many younger 20 somethings still notice me. 
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: Chinguetti on November 22, 2018, 02:40:49 pm
There is definitely a double-standard.

But I think a lot of people are under the impression that men don't carry these same views.

They totally do, lol. The story that I was talking about with the woman who couldn't maintain any of her relationships because of strangers? The grief was coming from both men and women, and her boyfriends often broke off the relationships because they got tired of dealing with aggression coming from other men.

There are many reasons for this, and yes, envy and insecurity CAN be among them, but they're not the only reasons.

What sort of guy would break off a relationship because of strangers' comments about an age gap? Sounds more like a 'he's just not that into you' excuse.

What people say and how they say them carry a lot of weight when it's constant and consistent, but this isn't just about comments. This is about others' behavior and treatment of them, too. And when all of that piles on, it can get to people after a while.

It's naive to believe that other people's judgment don't affect others at all. They can and they do. You can see plenty of examples of that right here in Korea. Lots of ruined relationships due to societal pressures. And in the example that I gave before, none of those relationships ended suddenly or overnight. They were all serious relationships that were ruined by strain that built up over time.
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: hangook77 on November 22, 2018, 02:44:49 pm
Typical.

If it was a 40 +-year-old woman dating a 30 or younger guy...  " you go girl"  " you still got it"  " you are such a cougar, milf ect.. "

Of course, if it's a guy..   " He is a pig", " Can't get a girl his own age" so on ect..   Women in their 30's are gonna hate because they know their time is up and they are aging inside and out, and guys, including their husbands, secretly lust after younger fertile women.  It's just nature. We are animals for fooks sake.  Any guy with testosterone above 200.. would love to bang a 20-year-old, no matter if you're 30, 40, 50, 60, 70..    If you say no that's gross.. you have homo tendencies that you need to be explored or go get a blood test and get on TRT.

I mostly agree.  Though maybe at 70, I'd have to fight the urge if I had a daughter older than that.  Even now, as much as I find a pretty 20 year old nice.  Maturity wise, I want to say I'd like late 20's to early 30's.  Then, again, a lot of women hit some kind b!tch hate radar from late 20's to mid 30's.  I can't tell you how many women I knew when they were 19 and 20 were sweet girls (and I was a few years older then), but now are early 30's and the most hateful angry things you ever came across, especially if you talk anything political or say you like Trump.  F@k them.    Crazy.  Like they are jaded on life and skeptical of everything too.  My brief experience with some hot milfs back in the day confirmed this too.  Once near mid 30's and beyond, they got nice again.  It's like they realized they had to smarten up or they weren't going to get a guy. 

However, if the conversation is mostly dead air, then that attractive 20 year old will wear thin too.  If they are mature for their age fine or if they view you as a fling before moving on, take it for what it is.  If you can find a nice late 20's or early 30's that hasn't become hateful or jaded, and is still quite attractive, that's the best.  Intelligent conversation, some maturity, etc.  Still the 20's have their appeal too. 
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: #basedcowboyshirt on November 22, 2018, 02:46:09 pm
Women are threatened anytime a man has choices. When a man chooses a younger woman, they go ballistic, and do what they do best..shame men or at least try to shame men. Many men submit to this "shame" and try to find a more age appropriate woman.

As women age, they realize that their stock value plummets, and they no longer have as much power over men as they did when they were young. They try to exert their diminishing power by shaming men into making decisions that show that aging women still have value. It's nothing but selfish behavior, but what can you expect from women really?
+1000000000

Good to know there are some real men left in the Waygook community. Women are highly adept at identifying and exploiting male weakness. It's all part of the screening process for potential mates. For instance, a woman might try to shame a man before sleeping with him, as a test. Act butt hurt, and you're out. Laugh it off, and you're in. Unfortunately some women have cottoned on to the fact that their natural inclination to shame men can also be used in a purely spiteful capacity. This is literally the basest form of human behavior I can imagine.

Yikes.
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: Chinguetti on November 22, 2018, 02:50:02 pm
Women are threatened anytime a man has choices. When a man chooses a younger woman, they go ballistic, and do what they do best..shame men or at least try to shame men. Many men submit to this "shame" and try to find a more age appropriate woman.

As women age, they realize that their stock value plummets, and they no longer have as much power over men as they did when they were young. They try to exert their diminishing power by shaming men into making decisions that show that aging women still have value. It's nothing but selfish behavior, but what can you expect from women really?
+1000000000

Good to know there are some real men left in the Waygook community. Women are highly adept at identifying and exploiting male weakness. It's all part of the screening process for potential mates. For instance, a woman might try to shame a man before sleeping with him, as a test. Act butt hurt, and you're out. Laugh it off, and you're in. Unfortunately some women have cottoned on to the fact that their natural inclination to shame men can also be used in a purely spiteful capacity. This is literally the basest form of human behavior I can imagine.

Yikes.

Right?

I'm not going to bother. xD
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: theman3285 on November 22, 2018, 02:51:02 pm
Women are threatened anytime a man has choices. When a man chooses a younger woman, they go ballistic, and do what they do best..shame men or at least try to shame men. Many men submit to this "shame" and try to find a more age appropriate woman.

As women age, they realize that their stock value plummets, and they no longer have as much power over men as they did when they were young. They try to exert their diminishing power by shaming men into making decisions that show that aging women still have value. It's nothing but selfish behavior, but what can you expect from women really?
+1000000000

Good to know there are some real men left in the Waygook community. Women are highly adept at identifying and exploiting male weakness. It's all part of the screening process for potential mates. For instance, a woman might try to shame a man before sleeping with him, as a test. Act butt hurt, and you're out. Laugh it off, and you're in. Unfortunately some women have cottoned on to the fact that their natural inclination to shame men can also be used in a purely spiteful capacity. This is literally the basest form of human behavior I can imagine.

Yikes.

Right?

I'm not going to bother. xD
Feed the troll, dammit!!!!! :laugh:
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: Kayos on November 22, 2018, 03:04:40 pm
It's the same when a teacher has sex with a student. If it is a male teacher then the world goes berserk and he gets thrown in jail for a long time.

When it's a woman having sex with a student then the student is hero, the teacher gets a stern telling off and 100 hours community service.

Reverse the roles in OP's scenario and have the woman be significantly older than the man and I don't think your friends say anything except, lucky you banter.

I just watched the south park episode that makes this joke too.
My favourite line, is when the police chief goes: "Where were all the hot, sex'd up teachers when I was a kid?!"

 :laugh: Made me think of that episode too lol.
"We need to track this boy down ... and give him his luckiest boy in America medal right away."  :laugh:

"It seems like, the only crime here, is that she's not doing me." haha
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: eggieguffer on November 22, 2018, 03:08:22 pm
There is definitely a double-standard.

But I think a lot of people are under the impression that men don't carry these same views.

They totally do, lol. The story that I was talking about with the woman who couldn't maintain any of her relationships because of strangers? The grief was coming from both men and women, and her boyfriends often broke off the relationships because they got tired of dealing with aggression coming from other men.

There are many reasons for this, and yes, envy and insecurity CAN be among them, but they're not the only reasons.

What sort of guy would break off a relationship because of strangers' comments about an age gap? Sounds more like a 'he's just not that into you' excuse.

What people say and how they say them carry a lot of weight when it's constant and consistent, but this isn't just about comments. This is about others' behavior and treatment of them, too. And when all of that piles on, it can get to people after a while.

It's naive to believe that other people's judgment don't affect others at all. They can and they do. You can see plenty of examples of that right here in Korea. Lots of ruined relationships due to societal pressures. And in the example that I gave before, none of those relationships ended suddenly or overnight. They were all serious relationships that were ruined by strain that built up over time.

Yes but you said the aggression was coming from strangers. Just random people coming up to people making negative comments about age gaps. It'd be like someone here saying they broke up with their K girlfriend because they got the occasional comment about dirty foreigners dating local girls from drunk ajosshis. that'd be a bit weird IMO
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: Chinguetti on November 22, 2018, 03:20:20 pm
Yes but you said the aggression was coming from strangers. Just random people coming up to people making negative comments about age gaps. It'd be like someone here saying they broke up with their K girlfriend because they got the occasional comment about dirty foreigners dating local girls from drunk ajosshis. that'd be a bit weird IMO

Well, again, it was more than just the occasional comment. People were berating them and giving them a hard time everywhere they went, and just being nasty towards them in general. Then insecurity and resentment sets in, and arguments start. 

Some people can handle that.

Not everyone can, though.

A lots of K gfs and bfs break up with their foreign gfs and bfs because of it.
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: Cyanea on November 22, 2018, 03:54:02 pm
her boyfriends often broke off the relationships because they got tired of dealing with aggression coming from other men.

That shouldn't be such an issue in the west but in Korea, foreign guys stand to lose a lot by trying to do something about it. When you're a waeg, any argument with a Korean can quickly become a blood money/ criminal record/ deportation incident. Its not as bad as it was but still, sometimes going out together becomes like a military maneouvre in enemy territory for the male.

As women age, they realize that their stock value plummets, and they no longer have as much power over men as they did when they were young. They try to exert their diminishing power by shaming men into making decisions that show that aging women still have value.

I suppose that makes sense.

Of course women have always been drawn to older men, as they are more secure and tend to have more status and assets. The last two might not apply to esl teachers of course, ha ha
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: theman3285 on November 22, 2018, 04:03:08 pm
Of course women have always been drawn to older men, as they are more secure and tend to have more status and assets. The last two might not apply to esl teachers of course, ha ha
Hahaha, truth. ESL teachers in Korea enjoy negative status points
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: Mr.DeMartino on November 22, 2018, 04:16:09 pm
Back in 1998 Mitch Albom (if memory serves) was writing about the Lewinsky scandal in the context of the Olympics. The French person he met wondered what the big deal was. "Why else would a man be president if not to have many affairs?" Pretty much everyone in the press pool agreed it was no big deal. Finally he got to the Japanese PR guy and was relieved at the seriousness he regarded the situation with. Here at last was someone who respected marriage and running a clean office.

 "If our Prime Minister did that he would be ashamed and would resign immediately. It would be a disgrace."
"Affairs are not permitted then?"
"Oh no, affairs are fine. It's just that the girl was so young. He should be having affairs with older women."
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: thunderlips on November 22, 2018, 05:06:02 pm
Also you need to factor into womens’ pettiness and jealousy. No offense ladies reading this. After 18 who cares. Like anna nicole smith and her 100 year old husband, its a win win for everyone. The only time it is creepy is a dad dating or marrying his daughters friends, as in the news this week. But hey really who gives a shite.
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: Cyanea on November 22, 2018, 06:42:53 pm
It was fairly normal for most of history for women to marry much older men.

Quote
A 2010 study by University of Dundee in Scotland found that as women become more financially independent, their tastes skew toward older—and better-looking—men.

https://stylecaster.com/famous-men-who-are-with-much-younger-women/ (https://stylecaster.com/famous-men-who-are-with-much-younger-women/)
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: Titus Groan on November 22, 2018, 06:45:53 pm
Of course women have always been drawn to older men, as they are more secure and tend to have more status and assets. The last two might not apply to esl teachers of course, ha ha
Hahaha, truth. ESL teachers in Korea enjoy negative status points

Speak for yourself...!
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: Chinguetti on November 23, 2018, 09:43:34 am
Not the story that I was talking about, but it's very similar:

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2379131/Grandmother-Anne-Bolton-Bristol-says-looking-young-ruins-life.html
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: eggieguffer on November 23, 2018, 10:10:04 am
Not the story that I was talking about, but it's very similar:

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2379131/Grandmother-Anne-Bolton-Bristol-says-looking-young-ruins-life.html

'so I did my best to dress older.' Doesn't look like it in those pictures  :rolleyes:
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: Chinguetti on November 23, 2018, 10:22:00 am
Not the story that I was talking about, but it's very similar:

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2379131/Grandmother-Anne-Bolton-Bristol-says-looking-young-ruins-life.html

'so I did my best to dress older.' Doesn't look like it in those pictures  :rolleyes:

I'm sure they chose pictures of her that would emphasize her youthful appearance. That's the point of the article. They wouldn't choose any of her where she's wearing more matronly clothing.

But it doesn't really matter, either way. I've been dressed up to my neck and down to my toes with loose, baggy clothing, and it never stopped or even diminished unwanted attention. I've even been catcalled while wearing puffy jackets that make me look three times bigger.
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: tylerthegloob on November 23, 2018, 10:23:44 am
Not the story that I was talking about, but it's very similar:

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2379131/Grandmother-Anne-Bolton-Bristol-says-looking-young-ruins-life.html

'so I did my best to dress older.' Doesn't look like it in those pictures  :rolleyes:

I'm sure they chose pictures of her that would emphasize her youthful appearance. That's the point of the article. They wouldn't choose any of her where she's wearing more matronly clothing.

But it doesn't really matter, either way. I've been dressed up to my neck and down to my toes with loose, baggy clothing, and it never stopped or even diminished unwanted attention. I've even been catcalled while wearing puffy jackets that make me look three times bigger.

Not even diminished? Deeeeeeem

edit: you must have great eyebrows. or dudes are a billion times thirstier than i thought. the cause is likely the second option.
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: alexisalex on November 23, 2018, 10:29:26 am
But it doesn't really matter, either way. I've been dressed up to my neck and down to my toes with loose, baggy clothing, and it never stopped or even diminished unwanted attention. I've even been catcalled while wearing puffy jackets that make me look three times bigger.

Lol come on Chinguetti, you must be trolling now :laugh:
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: JNM on November 23, 2018, 10:35:59 am
But it doesn't really matter, either way. I've been dressed up to my neck and down to my toes with loose, baggy clothing, and it never stopped or even diminished unwanted attention. I've even been catcalled while wearing puffy jackets that make me look three times bigger.

Lol come on Chinguetti, you must be trolling now :laugh:

Yeah.

Pics, or it didn’t happen!

:)
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: Chinguetti on November 23, 2018, 10:39:38 am
But it doesn't really matter, either way. I've been dressed up to my neck and down to my toes with loose, baggy clothing, and it never stopped or even diminished unwanted attention. I've even been catcalled while wearing puffy jackets that make me look three times bigger.

Lol come on Chinguetti, you must be trolling now :laugh:

No, 100% serious. The problem isn't the way a person dresses. It has to do with the mentality and the level of respect a person has towards another. When someone has a sense of entitlement and wants something from you, nothing is going to put them off.

It's way worse for me here than it is back home (it's actually not too common back at home in general, thanks to different norms) because of the fact that I'm foreign. The creeps here see a foreign face, and that's all it takes. You should follow me around for a day.
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: tylerthegloob on November 23, 2018, 11:23:09 am
But it doesn't really matter, either way. I've been dressed up to my neck and down to my toes with loose, baggy clothing, and it never stopped or even diminished unwanted attention. I've even been catcalled while wearing puffy jackets that make me look three times bigger.

Lol come on Chinguetti, you must be trolling now :laugh:

No, 100% serious. The problem isn't the way a person dresses. It has to do with the mentality and the level of respect a person has towards another. When someone has a sense of entitlement and wants something from you, nothing is going to put them off.

It's way worse for me here than it is back home (it's actually not too common back at home in general, thanks to different norms) because of the fact that I'm foreign. The creeps here see a foreign face, and that's all it takes. You should follow me around for a day.

You should make one of those videos.
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: hayleebb87 on November 23, 2018, 12:43:29 pm
Quote
They weren't Korean. 2 English women and 2 Americans. The only Korean involved was the 22 year old he is dating.

Yep that's what I thought. I bet the reaction wouldn't have been as strong if she'd been Western.

It would. Generally, people think negatively about it as their first thoughts, right or wrong. Personally, I don't like it and wouldn't do it, but there is a difference in not liking it/keeping it to yourself versus being obnoxious about someone else's life/forcing your opinion because you think what you have to say is so important.

You can not like it without berating someone and making a scene in public to hurt someone.
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: Chinguetti on November 23, 2018, 12:43:43 pm
edit: you must have great eyebrows. or dudes are a billion times thirstier than i thought. the cause is likely the second option.

Only now saw this.

Do guys really pay attention to the eyebrows? xD I thought most dudes are like this guy about it:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LyPykVlgzEk

For some it can be about the thirst, but I think for most of the creeps that go around ignoring social norms and breaking rules of etiquette it's not about the thirst and more about being able to throw their weights around, to being able to treat certain people any way they want and to take what they want from them. They're just looking for excuses to get away with it.
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: lifeisgood6447 on November 23, 2018, 01:25:35 pm
 :afro:Brahhh.... That video is golden. I laughed so hard. Thanks!  :laugh:

edit: you must have great eyebrows. or dudes are a billion times thirstier than i thought. the cause is likely the second option.

Only now saw this.

Do guys really pay attention to the eyebrows? xD I thought most dudes are like this guy about it:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LyPykVlgzEk

For some it can be about the thirst, but I think for most of the creeps that go around ignoring social norms and breaking rules of etiquette it's not about the thirst and more about being able to throw their weights around, to being able to treat certain people any way they want and to take what they want from them. They're just looking for excuses to get away with it.
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: lashrl on February 13, 2019, 12:32:19 pm
edit: you must have great eyebrows. or dudes are a billion times thirstier than i thought. the cause is likely the second option.

Only now saw this.

Do guys really pay attention to the eyebrows? xD I thought most dudes are like this guy about it:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LyPykVlgzEk

For some it can be about the thirst, but I think for most of the creeps that go around ignoring social norms and breaking rules of etiquette it's not about the thirst and more about being able to throw their weights around, to being able to treat certain people any way they want and to take what they want from them. They're just looking for excuses to get away with it.

The Social Science Behind Catcalling - https://link.medium.com/EJgWCsnugU
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: lashrl on February 13, 2019, 12:34:48 pm
It's the same when a teacher has sex with a student. If it is a male teacher then the world goes berserk and he gets thrown in jail for a long time.

When it's a woman having sex with a student then the student is hero, the teacher gets a stern telling off and 100 hours community service.

Reverse the roles in OP's scenario and have the woman be significantly older than the man and I don't think your friends say anything except, lucky you banter.


This is very different in Japan - its "common" for male teachers to marry a female student, after graduation/university and goes largely undetected. However, if a female teacher does this, she makes headlines for stealing the boy's future. ?? Double standard much?
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: debbiem89 on February 14, 2019, 10:47:12 am
Typical.

If it was a 40 +-year-old woman dating a 30 or younger guy...  " you go girl"  " you still got it"  " you are such a cougar, milf ect.. "

Of course, if it's a guy..   " He is a pig", " Can't get a girl his own age" so on ect..   Women in their 30's are gonna hate because they know their time is up and they are aging inside and out, and guys, including their husbands, secretly lust after younger fertile women.  It's just nature. We are animals for fooks sake. Any guy with testosterone above 200.. would love to bang a 20-year-old, no matter if you're 30, 40, 50, 60, 70..    If you say no that's gross.. you have homo tendencies that you need to be explored or go get a blood test and get on TRT.

What even IS this logic? Christ I'll just kill myself before I get to 30 then. Your comment is offensive to pretty much EVERY demographic. Well done.
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: debbiem89 on February 14, 2019, 10:52:10 am
I had never dated anyone younger than me before I came to Korea. My last relationship in the U.K he was 12 years older.

Since I've been here I've dated older and much younger. I don't even give it a second thought, as long as we are on the same wavelength and are both consenting adults...who cares?

Anyone who judges the age difference in someone else's relationship is either very sad or jealous. I've found both men and women to be guilty of this (contrary to the stereotype of jealousy being a female trait). Mind ya biz.
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: Mr.DeMartino on February 14, 2019, 11:00:07 am
Can't believe no one has brought up the old rule of "Half your age+7" yet.
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: debbiem89 on February 14, 2019, 11:04:38 am
Can't believe no one has brought up the old rule of "Half your age+7" yet.

Literally it was the second comment.  :laugh:
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: Mr.DeMartino on February 14, 2019, 11:15:32 am
Can't believe no one has brought up the old rule of "Half your age+7" yet.

Literally it was the second comment.  :laugh:

Ah shit. Thanks Korean square lowres office monitor.
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: debbiem89 on February 14, 2019, 11:17:54 am
Can't believe no one has brought up the old rule of "Half your age+7" yet.

Literally it was the second comment.  :laugh:

Ah shit. Thanks Korean square lowres office monitor.

Bahaha. I had literally just read through the whole thread and I knew I'd seen it somewhere is all.
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: CO2 on February 14, 2019, 11:44:56 am
Anyone who judges the age difference in someone else's relationship is either very sad or jealous. I've found both men and women to be guilty of this (contrary to the stereotype of jealousy being a female trait). Mind ya biz.

I'm not a busybody and I don't consider myself too be overly harsh to other people's................. lifestyles? Choices? hahaha anyway............. ...

I think a healthy dose of skepticism is good though, in most things. In my blog thread in here, I have a video about my worst resto experience ever.

The ajumma said that she married he Elementary school teacher. I don't have the exact math but that's a big gap. It IS a little strange. I don't wish ill on them and I don't think of them really at all, but if one asked me my thoughts I would definitely raise an eyebrow and call something weird weird.
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: Kayos on February 14, 2019, 11:47:06 am
Can't believe no one has brought up the old rule of "Half your age+7" yet.

Literally it was the second comment.  :laugh:

Ah shit. Thanks Korean square lowres office monitor.

Bahaha. I had literally just read through the whole thread and I knew I'd seen it somewhere is all.

You're welcome. :p
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: debbiem89 on February 14, 2019, 12:05:26 pm
Anyone who judges the age difference in someone else's relationship is either very sad or jealous. I've found both men and women to be guilty of this (contrary to the stereotype of jealousy being a female trait). Mind ya biz.

I'm not a busybody and I don't consider myself too be overly harsh to other people's................. lifestyles? Choices? hahaha anyway............. ...

I think a healthy dose of skepticism is good though, in most things. In my blog thread in here, I have a video about my worst resto experience ever.

The ajumma said that she married he Elementary school teacher. I don't have the exact math but that's a big gap. It IS a little strange. I don't wish ill on them and I don't think of them really at all, but if one asked me my thoughts I would definitely raise an eyebrow and call something weird weird.

Truth. But purely seeing a big age gap isn't enough for me to be skeptical these days. I think it's just so common now it doesn't immediately strike me as weird anymore. Maybe if my 50 year old cot suddenly told me his wife was 22 I would be a little...surprised? But certainly not in a negative way.

Look at Macron....his wife is 24 years his senior and their history is certainly worth an eyebrow raise, but they seem happy...so have at it.
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: Kayos on February 14, 2019, 12:06:27 pm
But it doesn't really matter, either way. I've been dressed up to my neck and down to my toes with loose, baggy clothing, and it never stopped or even diminished unwanted attention. I've even been catcalled while wearing puffy jackets that make me look three times bigger.

Lol come on Chinguetti, you must be trolling now :laugh:

No, 100% serious. The problem isn't the way a person dresses. It has to do with the mentality and the level of respect a person has towards another. When someone has a sense of entitlement and wants something from you, nothing is going to put them off.

It's way worse for me here than it is back home (it's actually not too common back at home in general, thanks to different norms) because of the fact that I'm foreign. The creeps here see a foreign face, and that's all it takes. You should follow me around for a day.

Isn't there laws against that? :P
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: CO2 on February 14, 2019, 12:11:01 pm
Look at Macron....his wife is 24 years his senior and their history is certainly worth an eyebrow raise, but they seem happy...so have at it.

Yeah, I try to look at it like

A: As long as they're happy, it's not really a big deal.

mixed with

B: WEW, LAD
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: JNM on February 14, 2019, 01:46:30 pm
But it doesn't really matter, either way. I've been dressed up to my neck and down to my toes with loose, baggy clothing, and it never stopped or even diminished unwanted attention. I've even been catcalled while wearing puffy jackets that make me look three times bigger.

Lol come on Chinguetti, you must be trolling now :laugh:

No, 100% serious. The problem isn't the way a person dresses. It has to do with the mentality and the level of respect a person has towards another. When someone has a sense of entitlement and wants something from you, nothing is going to put them off.

It's way worse for me here than it is back home (it's actually not too common back at home in general, thanks to different norms) because of the fact that I'm foreign. The creeps here see a foreign face, and that's all it takes. You should follow me around for a day.

Isn't there laws against that? :P

Yeah. She called the cops on the last guy who did that, IIRC.
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: hangook77 on February 14, 2019, 02:32:34 pm
Well, there are plenty of women who still look pretty good into their 40's and 50's.  They do have to pile on more makeup (though some are blessed with youthful skin) and work harder to stay in shape.  Might do some botox in their 50's and have to die their hair?  But, there are plenty of women who are still attractive as they get older.  Of course many women and many men let themselves go.  Men, it means harder work trying to stay in shape and fighting baldness.  The only thing that will hold them back is not being able to have kids after early or mid 40's if they want to settle down with a younger guy?  A man in his 40's and 50's can still get his younger wife pregnant and have kids.  Other than this issue, let folks do whatever floats their boat. 

Overall, men are considered to be attractive as they age is they take care of certain things up until a certain age I guess. 
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: pkjh on February 14, 2019, 02:39:30 pm
The ajumma said that she married he Elementary school teacher. I don't have the exact math but that's a big gap. It IS a little strange. I don't wish ill on them and I don't think of them really at all, but if one asked me my thoughts I would definitely raise an eyebrow and call something weird weird.
Realistically, 10+ years. 12/22-ish...
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: CO2 on February 14, 2019, 02:56:07 pm
The ajumma said that she married he Elementary school teacher. I don't have the exact math but that's a big gap. It IS a little strange. I don't wish ill on them and I don't think of them really at all, but if one asked me my thoughts I would definitely raise an eyebrow and call something weird weird.
Realistically OPTIMISTICALLY, 10+ years. 12/22-ish...
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: Foreverparadise on February 14, 2019, 10:00:50 pm
I support age differences in relationships. I am 42 years old and I would rather be with a
younger woman than an older woman. Younger women are still able to reproduce. Older
women cannot do that.

Personally I would go out with a younger woman but she has to be of legal adult age. If anybody
does not like that, then screw them.
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: L I on February 15, 2019, 05:56:12 am
But unless you are extremely good looking or extremely wealthy, women that young aren't going to want to date a 42 year old. 18 year olds are probably out.  :rolleyes:
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: debbiem89 on February 15, 2019, 08:46:41 am
I support age differences in relationships. I am 42 years old and I would rather be with a
younger woman than an older woman. Younger women are still able to reproduce. Older
women cannot do that.

Personally I would go out with a younger woman but she has to be of legal adult age. If anybody
does not like that, then screw them.

You make women sound like cattle.

I'm sure the fertile young lasses are lining up for this arrangement.
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: CO2 on February 15, 2019, 08:51:22 am
You make women sound like cattle.
Funnily enough, my ex is named 소의 so whenever she'd forward me emails (flights, airbnb stuff) I'd auto translate the emails and they would always begin...........

Quote
Dear Cattle,

We are looking forward............ ............

 :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: One time for an Airbnb in Tokyo it ended with a

Quote
Thank you very much, Bovine, for picking us.

I wish I could make this up. hahahaha
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: debbiem89 on February 15, 2019, 08:57:59 am
You make women sound like cattle.
Funnily enough, my ex is named 소의 so whenever she'd forward me emails (flights, airbnb stuff) I'd auto translate the emails and they would always begin...........

Quote
Dear Cattle,

We are looking forward............ ............

 :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: One time for an Airbnb in Tokyo it ended with a

Quote
Thank you very much, Bovine, for picking us.

I wish I could make this up. hahahaha

Hahaha  :laugh:  she sounds like good stock ……… :blank:.... eh? eh?

That was awful.
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: CO2 on February 15, 2019, 09:00:44 am
Hahaha  :laugh:  she sounds like good stock ……… :blank:.... eh? eh?

That was awful.

Nothing wrong with a Kevin joke. No judgment from me. :)
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: JNM on February 15, 2019, 09:07:42 am
I support age differences in relationships. I am 42 years old and I would rather be with a
younger woman than an older woman. Younger women are still able to reproduce. Older
women cannot do that.

Personally I would go out with a younger woman but she has to be of legal adult age. If anybody
does not like that, then screw them.

You make women sound like cattle.

I'm sure the fertile young lasses are lining up for this arrangement.

Would you be less offended if he said, “I missed out on having children with somebody my own age, but I would still like to have a family.”

Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: L I on February 15, 2019, 09:22:42 am
Yes.
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: CO2 on February 15, 2019, 09:23:57 am
(https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-cTYTqorDZfM/V8SKb0XRMqI/AAAAAAAA0X4/qQyF83HJXYgoVSjgSkicpoilEcec1OtUgCEw/s1600/cow%252C%2Bman%2Ba.jpg)
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: debbiem89 on February 15, 2019, 09:51:48 am
I support age differences in relationships. I am 42 years old and I would rather be with a
younger woman than an older woman. Younger women are still able to reproduce. Older
women cannot do that.

Personally I would go out with a younger woman but she has to be of legal adult age. If anybody
does not like that, then screw them.

You make women sound like cattle.

I'm sure the fertile young lasses are lining up for this arrangement.

Would you be less offended if he said, “I missed out on having children with somebody my own age, but I would still like to have a family.”

But that's not what he said. That is totally different.

There were many problematic things with what was said.

NEWSFLASH: Not all younger women can have kids and not all older ones can't. Furthermore not all older men can have kids.
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: kobayashi on February 15, 2019, 11:21:31 am
Sexual market value. for men it peaks around 37, for women around 23.

(https://blacklabellogic.files.wordpress.com/2016/02/smv_curve1.jpg?w=640)
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: L I on February 15, 2019, 11:46:59 am
Dunno if that chart's true. Might just be telling men what they want to hear. Men's looks decline with age as well, as early as women's do. Most Western women don't want to date someone more than five years older than they are. Unless said person is a celebrity... which we are not.
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: JNM on February 15, 2019, 11:50:46 am
I support age differences in relationships. I am 42 years old and I would rather be with a
younger woman than an older woman. Younger women are still able to reproduce. Older
women cannot do that.

Personally I would go out with a younger woman but she has to be of legal adult age. If anybody
does not like that, then screw them.

You make women sound like cattle.

I'm sure the fertile young lasses are lining up for this arrangement.

Would you be less offended if he said, “I missed out on having children with somebody my own age, but I would still like to have a family.”

But that's not what he said. That is totally different.

There were many problematic things with what was said.

NEWSFLASH: Not all younger women can have kids and not all older ones can't. Furthermore not all older men can have kids.

1) It is EXACTLY the same thing - just a little more refined.

2) Statistically, a woman under 30 is MUCH more likely to conceive than one over 40.
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: CDW on February 15, 2019, 12:38:16 pm
Men's desirability peaks at 50.

Quote
The researchers found that a woman’s desirability on dating sites and apps declines with age, dropping from the time she’s 18 until she’s 60. That means that when online dating, women are at their peak desirability when they’re still teenagers.

For men, however, desirability peaks at 50, then declines with age.

 ‘The age gradient for women definitely surprised us,’ Elizabeth Bruch, the author of the study, told the New York Times, ‘both in terms of the fact that it steadily declined from the time women were 18 to the time they were 65, and also how steep it was.’
https://metro.co.uk/2018/08/16/world-online-dating-women-peak-18-men-peak-50-7845823/

Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: L I on February 15, 2019, 03:22:35 pm
I've never seen a Western 18 year old pursue a 50 year old. Have you?

Let's ask the youngest women on this forum if they want a 50 year old. Pretty sure the answer is gonna be 'no'.
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: L I on February 15, 2019, 03:24:22 pm
Men get fatter and balder with age. Less muscle mass. More wrinkles. Their looks decline and women do care about looks, just like men.
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: JNM on February 15, 2019, 04:38:27 pm
Men get fatter and balder with age. Less muscle mass. More wrinkles. Their looks decline and women do care about looks, just like men.
... but the other two factors women seam to care about (wealth and status) tend to increase with age. Not to be political, but Mr. and Mrs. Donald Trump are a great example. Money and status compensate for age-related (and other) attractiveness issues!

I don’t think that the study is saying that 18/50 is the ideal age ratio.

Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: kobayashi on February 15, 2019, 04:40:54 pm
Men's desirability peaks at 50.

Quote
The researchers found that a woman’s desirability on dating sites and apps declines with age, dropping from the time she’s 18 until she’s 60. That means that when online dating, women are at their peak desirability when they’re still teenagers.

For men, however, desirability peaks at 50, then declines with age.

 ‘The age gradient for women definitely surprised us,’ Elizabeth Bruch, the author of the study, told the New York Times, ‘both in terms of the fact that it steadily declined from the time women were 18 to the time they were 65, and also how steep it was.’
https://metro.co.uk/2018/08/16/world-online-dating-women-peak-18-men-peak-50-7845823/

this data was based only on online dating though, so is inherently biased. 50 year olds on an online dating site are probably very desirable to women looking to be financially supported, of which i would say there are a lot more online than out there in the real world. online dating also seems to be quite popular with older, divorced women, who would probably find older guys more attractive as they are closer to their own age.

having said that, Brad Pitt, Tom Cruise, Hugh Jackman, and Daniel Craig are all at least 50. Liam Gallagher is 45 and Leo DiCaprio is around the same age. Ryan Reynolds is 42.

The original post that started this thread was talking about a guy in his late 30s dating a 22 year old. how many 22 year old women go ga-ga for Ryan Gosling (38) or Ryan Reynolds? quite a lot i would imagine.
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: debbiem89 on February 15, 2019, 05:28:51 pm
I support age differences in relationships. I am 42 years old and I would rather be with a
younger woman than an older woman. Younger women are still able to reproduce. Older
women cannot do that.

Personally I would go out with a younger woman but she has to be of legal adult age. If anybody
does not like that, then screw them.

You make women sound like cattle.

I'm sure the fertile young lasses are lining up for this arrangement.

Would you be less offended if he said, “I missed out on having children with somebody my own age, but I would still like to have a family.”

But that's not what he said. That is totally different.

There were many problematic things with what was said.

NEWSFLASH: Not all younger women can have kids and not all older ones can't. Furthermore not all older men can have kids.

1) It is EXACTLY the same thing - just a little more refined.

2) Statistically, a woman under 30 is MUCH more likely to conceive than one over 40.

If you think them two statements are the same...I can’t help you. This whole thread is a hot mess to be honest. Delusional old dudes shitting on women. These same dudes are the ones crying that women should be natural and not get plastic surgery to look younger....
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: L I on February 15, 2019, 05:56:49 pm
(https://cdn-images-1.medium.com/max/1600/0*q95i3Ma24k-hxBtK.png)
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: JNM on February 15, 2019, 06:09:19 pm
I support age differences in relationships. I am 42 years old and I would rather be with a
younger woman than an older woman. Younger women are still able to reproduce. Older
women cannot do that.

Personally I would go out with a younger woman but she has to be of legal adult age. If anybody
does not like that, then screw them.

You make women sound like cattle.

I'm sure the fertile young lasses are lining up for this arrangement.

Would you be less offended if he said, “I missed out on having children with somebody my own age, but I would still like to have a family.”

But that's not what he said. That is totally different.

There were many problematic things with what was said.

NEWSFLASH: Not all younger women can have kids and not all older ones can't. Furthermore not all older men can have kids.

1) It is EXACTLY the same thing - just a little more refined.

2) Statistically, a woman under 30 is MUCH more likely to conceive than one over 40.

If you think them two statements are the same...I can’t help you. This whole thread is a hot mess to be honest. Delusional old dudes shitting on women. These same dudes are the ones crying that women should be natural and not get plastic surgery to look younger....

Shitting on?

Where do you get that?

You expressed that you thought a response implied women where cattle.

That was you attaching your sensitivity to what someone* wrote to the world... not directly to you.

*not someone in the public eye, not someone who has a speech written.

Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: L I on February 15, 2019, 07:02:34 pm
Watch this starting at 15:15. (Or the whole thing)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6aq0eGdHMkA
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: L I on February 16, 2019, 05:09:00 am
Mr. and Mrs. Donald Trump are a great example.

Are they?

He was born wealthy and continued to be wealthy. Inherited .5 billion from his father plus the political connections. 6'3", good looking, charming.

When they married she was well above 18, mid-thirties. Was from a much poorer country and lacked American citizenship.

Even being a billionaire isn't enough to snag the most attractive 18 year old Western women. At age 50, no way. Most would reject.

Super uncommon to become a billionaire anyways.

In 50 Shades of Grey, the self made billionaire is young. Which is unrealistic, as it usually takes many years to make all that money.

Ask young women what they find hot. They aren't going to say 50 year olds.
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: VanIslander on February 16, 2019, 07:16:12 am
Sexual market value. for men it peaks around 37, for women around 23.

(https://blacklabellogic.files.wordpress.com/2016/02/smv_curve1.jpg?w=640)
Um,... there are things I can't help but see.
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: LIC on February 18, 2019, 11:34:23 am
When I was in my mid-20's my girlfriend was twice my age. All her friends thought it was awesome.

This age difference thing seems to primarily be a cultural 1-way street with Western women finding it distasteful with the idea of older guy - younger girl situation. Ironically, I bet most of those same women would not find it the least bit distasteful if the female was 45 and the guy was 25.

In SE Asia having an older husband means stability and maturity, and is welcomed.

Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: Kanali on May 10, 2019, 05:57:48 pm
Why do some women get so bent out of shape when an older guy has a relationship with a younger women?

I was up in Seoul last night, so I met up with a bunch of people who used to hang out together in my first year. One of the guys is 39 and his girlfriend (not present) is 22 and she is about to graduate university next month. The four females present during this discussion flipped out. "You are disgusting. I can't believe you are doing this."...
Usually because the much older guy is after sex, and the much younger woman is also after some perks he can provide. There is such thing as personal compatibility in relationships, and large age differences lower this factor. Someone born into a completely different generation than you will make references that you won't catch, because you weren't even born then. So then you watch these older guys tell jokes and make references and their younger girlfriends will pretend to understand, laugh and smile, you know she is not being honest and sincere and that this  relationships is based on a trade, where she is looking for some perks from him, while he is acting like an "old fool". This kind of thing is gross to watch. These kind of unions have always been looked down upon, and described as unwelcome and tragic in movies and literature. Sometimes the younger wife character will cheat on her much older husband, while he remains clueless.

Why these women get "bent out of shape" when they see this? Well, because women are more emotionally astute than men, and seeing a guy act like an "old fool" while the girl plays around with him is kind of repulsive.

It's also true that older men have higher chances of fathering children with a plethora of disorders, ranging from autism, up to schizophrenia and bipolar disorder, so for a younger woman looking to have a family a much older guy isn't such a great choice. It could mean a lifetime of troubles for her and having to deal with sick kids. Unfortunately many women wishing to have family and kids don't get genetic counseling, and don't know about the dangers of trying to start a family with older men.

Some studies on this:
https://www.nytimes.com/2014/02/27/health/mental-illness-risk-higher-for-children-of-older-parents-study-finds.html
https://www.treatmentadvocacycenter.org/fixing-the-system/features-and-news/2494-research-paternal-age-linked-to-schizophrenia
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-imprinted-brain/201304/older-fathers-autism-and-schizophrenia
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: oglop on May 10, 2019, 09:36:31 pm
Weird response to revive an old thread. Did your girlfriend leave you for an older man, kanali?
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: NorthStar on May 10, 2019, 10:06:17 pm
But it is OK for older women to seek out younger men...right?
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: JNM on May 10, 2019, 10:22:34 pm
In most cases, the older woman is looking at her past mistakes and trying to do things differently.

A different power dynamic, where she holds more cards.
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: VanIslander on May 11, 2019, 03:35:05 am
When I was in high school my girlfriend was in middle school. People thought this was a huge issue (three year difference) but she was tall (5'7) and one of the smartest students (won contests often - mastered knitting and learned Japanese as hobbies!) and we were each other's firsts. We were together for four years, eventually separated by university (i went to the local college for a couple of years, then had to go out of province).

So, I don't criticize relationships based on age. It depends on the individuals.

Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: L I on May 11, 2019, 08:20:05 am
When I was in middle school I was 11, 12, and 13.

The reason an 11 year with a 14 year old / a 12 year old with a 15 year old / a 13 year old with a 16 year old is seen as unethical is the child's brain is considered too underdeveloped to give consent.

What you did sounds illegal.

Best not to repeat that story.

Especially in the context as a justification for age differences.
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: VanIslander on May 11, 2019, 01:03:06 pm
She was 14 years, 5 months... I was 17 years, 6 months.

We met at a high school party and kissed before age even was known (she was 5'7 and came with her sister whom she looked like, they both from another part of town).

We were both underage. We were together for 4 years and our parents consented. After dating for 6 months to 1 year, everyone pretty much accepts it.

She was my high school graduation date and I was her high school graduation date.

Age difference can be sometimes not a problem. I simply don't judge quickly based on age alone. My grandpa was 24 and grandma 17 when they got married. THAT would be a legal issue nowadays in many places. Their 53-year marriage is evidence that sometimes age doesn't matter.

OF COURSE age matters sometimes. Boss-worker relations being a prime example of a power imbalance.



Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: Kanali on May 11, 2019, 01:18:16 pm
Weird response to revive an old thread. Did your girlfriend leave you for an older man, kanali?
Hey at least I've had a girlfriend ;p

This thread was top of second page and I was bored, so sue me. Now discuss, gentlemen.
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: Kanali on May 11, 2019, 01:24:34 pm
Age difference can be sometimes not a problem. I simply don't judge quickly based on age alone. My grandpa was 24 and grandma 17 when they got married. THAT would be a legal issue nowadays in many places. Their 53-year marriage is evidence that sometimes age doesn't matter.
7 year difference isn't that great really. The OP was talking about an age difference of 20 years i.e. men in their 40s and even 50s trying to date 20 year olds.
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: Kanali on May 11, 2019, 01:29:41 pm
But it is OK for older women to seek out younger men...right?
Is it now? For either gender it seems better to find someone who's born in "your generation" so to say. This raises the chances that you'll have greater personal connection with the person and that your relationship isn't based primarily on looks, sex, and lust. Generation divides become pronounced around 10-15 years.
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: waygo0k on May 12, 2019, 08:39:24 am
Honestly, if both (adult) parties are willingly partaking in this relationship...whos e darn business is it to decide whether it’s unacceptable or not?

Women rolling their eyes at a man dating someone much younger (and vice versa) just smacks of plain jealousy or saltiness IMO
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: oglop on May 12, 2019, 09:06:26 am
Honestly, if both (adult) parties are willingly partaking in this relationship...whos e darn business is it to decide whether it’s unacceptable or not?

yeah, exactly. i don't know why people care so much about what other people do
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: T_Rex on May 12, 2019, 11:42:29 am
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7sY2cIQYObM
True love transcends all barriers.
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: L I on May 12, 2019, 03:28:44 pm
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oVczvBsZ6Io
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: SanderB on May 12, 2019, 04:59:11 pm
I heard the other day that one of my male colleagues is living with one of his former students. :huh:
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: CO2 on May 12, 2019, 05:08:26 pm
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7sY2cIQYObM
True love transcends all barriers.

"not as well-rounded and mature sa"

Yeah, no shit, she became a legal adult a year ago. You're in your late 50s.

Jesus Christ. Not to mention SHE'S NOT FROM YOUR CULTURE
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: pkjh on May 12, 2019, 10:35:16 pm

True love transcends all barriers.

"not as well-rounded and mature sa"

Yeah, no shit, she became a legal adult a year ago. You're in your late 50s.

Jesus Christ. Not to mention SHE'S NOT FROM YOUR CULTURE
"You're putting figure prints on my windows?"... a match made in heaven.

Granted, I probably get my mail-order when I get up there in age with no wife...  :-[
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: VanIslander on May 13, 2019, 05:06:49 am
In 2016 America voted for a 70-year-old president with a 46-year-old wife.

Mail-order brides are a sad reality. A 20+ year age difference is a huge challenge.

Some people may live better lives that way, others don't. But whatever. The world is full of people living diverse lives: non-binary, eunich, Mormon polygamy, celebacy, swinger, etc.

As long as no one forces them to do it and they feel it's better than their immediate alternatives, so be it.
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: confusedsafferinkorea on May 13, 2019, 05:54:06 am

True love transcends all barriers.

"not as well-rounded and mature sa"

Yeah, no shit, she became a legal adult a year ago. You're in your late 50s.

Jesus Christ. Not to mention SHE'S NOT FROM YOUR CULTURE
"You're putting figure prints on my windows?"... a match made in heaven.

Granted, I probably get my mail-order when I get up there in age with no wife...  :-[

To be honest, that guy is a jerk, getting all bent out of shape about fingerprints. My prediction..... it won't last 90 days or if they get married, she will leave him like his ex did. I am married to a Filipina and I know how they think. She is dazzled by the glitz and glamour but when his weird personality manifests itself even more, she is out of there, believe me.

She seems open and honest but as I said he appears to be a real jerk with zero sense of humor.

BTW I don't think this relationship will fail because of age difference, just personality differences.
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: Colburnnn on May 13, 2019, 07:24:26 am
I heard the other day that one of my male colleagues is living with one of his former students. :huh:

Hey, if its good enough for the President of France... What is the problem?
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: OnNut81 on May 13, 2019, 08:05:37 am
VanIslander: She was 14 years, 5 months... I was 17 years, 6 months.

We met at a high school party and kissed before age even was known (she was 5'7 and came with her sister whom she looked like, they both from another part of town).

We were both underage. We were together for 4 years and our parents consented. After dating for 6 months to 1 year, everyone pretty much accepts it.

She was my high school graduation date and I was her high school graduation date.


Holy crap!  Is no one else deeply disturbed by this admission and attempt to rationalize it?  17 and 14 is not 28 and 25 man.  That was absolutely creepy.  You were in high school and were okay dating a girl in middle school?  Anyone was okay with that?  You think it's ok because she was 5"7"?  The fact that you think the fact she won contests in knitting implies it was acceptable holds no water.  I'm pretty sure that was not legally kosher in that you were over 16 and she was under.  And even if that was ok by law, it's creepy and you shouldn't have been okay with that.  Wrong on several levels man.  I can't imagine that peer pressure didn't set you straight.  How old were you when you went to her high school graduation?  Yikes!
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: AMDC on May 13, 2019, 08:15:18 am
VanIslander: She was 14 years, 5 months... I was 17 years, 6 months.

We met at a high school party and kissed before age even was known (she was 5'7 and came with her sister whom she looked like, they both from another part of town).

We were both underage. We were together for 4 years and our parents consented. After dating for 6 months to 1 year, everyone pretty much accepts it.

She was my high school graduation date and I was her high school graduation date.


Holy crap!  Is no one else ....

14 is cutting it, but if all parties consented I don't think it's an issue.
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: Kayos on May 13, 2019, 08:15:49 am
VanIslander: She was 14 years, 5 months... I was 17 years, 6 months.

We met at a high school party and kissed before age even was known (she was 5'7 and came with her sister whom she looked like, they both from another part of town).

We were both underage. We were together for 4 years and our parents consented. After dating for 6 months to 1 year, everyone pretty much accepts it.

She was my high school graduation date and I was her high school graduation date.


Holy crap!  Is no one else deeply disturbed by this admission and attempt to rationalize it?  17 and 14 is not 28 and 25 man.  That was absolutely creepy.  You were in high school and were okay dating a girl in middle school?  Anyone was okay with that?  You think it's ok because she was 5"7"?  The fact that you think the fact she won contests in knitting implies it was acceptable holds no water.  I'm pretty sure that was not legally kosher in that you were over 16 and she was under.  And even if that was ok by law, it's creepy and you shouldn't have been okay with that.  Wrong on several levels man.  I can't imagine that peer pressure didn't set you straight.  How old were you when you went to her high school graduation?  Yikes!

A 17 year old dating a 14 year old is perfectly fine, IMO. In NZ, high school starts at 13 and goes for 5 years. 
Though, in NZ, a person can't have sex until they are 16. And if you are 16 and have sex with a 14 - 15 year old, you can get charged with statutory rape.
So, as long as they weren't having sex while she was under 16, I don't really see a problem.
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: OnNut81 on May 13, 2019, 09:50:38 am
There is a huge gulf between someone who is well over 17 and a 14 year old in regards to mental maturity.  I can see a 14 year old thinking "Wow! I'm dating a 17 year old" but it's the 17 year old who should've stopped it and known "It's wrong to date a 14 year old." 
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: kyndo on May 13, 2019, 09:52:44 am
A 17 year old dating a 14 year old is perfectly fine, IMO. In NZ, high school starts at 13 and goes for 5 years. 
Though, in NZ, a person can't have sex until they are 16. And if you are 16 and have sex with a 14 - 15 year old, you can get charged with statutory rape.
So, as long as they weren't having sex while she was under 16, I don't really see a problem.
In Canada, the age of consent is 16... unless the 2 are within 5 years of age of one another, in which case the age of consent is 14.  :undecided:
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: Kayos on May 13, 2019, 09:58:32 am
A 17 year old dating a 14 year old is perfectly fine, IMO. In NZ, high school starts at 13 and goes for 5 years. 
Though, in NZ, a person can't have sex until they are 16. And if you are 16 and have sex with a 14 - 15 year old, you can get charged with statutory rape.
So, as long as they weren't having sex while she was under 16, I don't really see a problem.
In Canada, the age of consent is 16... unless the 2 are within 5 years of age of one another, in which case the age of consent is 14.  :undecided:

Ahh nice, NZ doesn't have the within 5 years thing. Actually, my cousin, while he was 18 (but still in high school on his last year) went to a party and had sex with a 15 year old (she said she was 17 to him). Even though she agreed to it, the girls parents found out and went to the police, and he got 12 months home detention (had to wear an ankle monitor) and he lost a professional rugby job too, that was waiting for him after high school.
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: zola on May 13, 2019, 10:16:07 am
Holy crap!  Is no one else deeply disturbed by this admission and attempt to rationalize it?  17 and 14 is not 28 and 25 man.  That was absolutely creepy.  You were in high school and were okay dating a girl in middle school?  Anyone was okay with that?  You think it's ok because she was 5"7"?  The fact that you think the fact she won contests in knitting implies it was acceptable holds no water.  I'm pretty sure that was not legally kosher in that you were over 16 and she was under.  And even if that was ok by law, it's creepy and you shouldn't have been okay with that.  Wrong on several levels man.  I can't imagine that peer pressure didn't set you straight.  How old were you when you went to her high school graduation?  Yikes!

Deeply disturbed? No.
Not ideal, obviously, but on what planet do you live on that you think this doesn't happen as a matter of course, everywhere?
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: kyndo on May 13, 2019, 10:26:16 am
Ahh nice, NZ doesn't have the within 5 years thing.
    It's a new law, only passed in 2008. Age of consent used to be 14, but people decided that was a bit creepy, so they upped it to 16 but added the 'within 5 years' qualifier. A reasonable change, in my opinion.
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: OnNut81 on May 13, 2019, 10:40:02 am
Zola: Deeply disturbed? No.
Not ideal, obviously, but on what planet do you live on that you think this doesn't happen as a matter of course, everywhere?

Stuff happening everywhere means it can't be considered disturbing?  That makes no sense.

I didn't say it was exceptional in the world, only that it was disturbing.  And, yes, growing up in Canada a high schooler dating a middle schooler would've been exceptional and considered creepy if not borderline illegal. 

Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: zola on May 13, 2019, 10:52:07 am
Zola: Deeply disturbed? No.
Not ideal, obviously, but on what planet do you live on that you think this doesn't happen as a matter of course, everywhere?

Stuff happening everywhere means it can't be considered disturbing?  That makes no sense.

I didn't say it was exceptional in the world, only that it was disturbing.  And, yes, growing up in Canada a high schooler dating a middle schooler would've been exceptional and considered creepy if not borderline illegal. 



I think you are overreacting a tad.
Things happening everywhere implies at least partial acceptance from society at large.
I agree, 14 is on the very edge of acceptable, with people falling either way on the issue. But you are acting like it's a 20 year old with a 10 year old.

edit: and maybe it is more culturally acceptable in NZ, like kayos said. It wasn't as though it was completely normal, but I certainly remember a few instances. People would give the guy shit in a half joking/serious manner.
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: kyndo on May 13, 2019, 11:20:53 am
edit: and maybe it is more culturally acceptable in NZ, like kayos said. It wasn't as though it was completely normal, but I certainly remember a few instances. People would give the guy shit in a half joking/serious manner.
     I remember back in Grade 12 a friend of mine was dating somebody in grade 9 (in rural Canada, highschool is grades 8 to 12). We would always be making snide jokes about people having to wait for recess to go for a date.   :laugh:
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: OnNut81 on May 13, 2019, 11:38:06 am
Zola: I think you are overreacting a tad.
Things happening everywhere implies at least partial acceptance from society at large.
I agree, 14 is on the very edge of acceptable, with people falling either way on the issue. But you are acting like it's a 20 year old with a 10 year old.

Come on, now that's overreacting. A 20 year old and a 10 year old would be a clear crime obviously.  Even if this 17 and 14 year old thing was technically legal it shouldn't have felt right.  I mean, imagine you're in grade 11 and your buddy is dating a middle schooler?  "Hey man, you want to meet up Friday?"  Friend: "Sorry, I can't.  Middle school graduation this week."  Sounds funny, except in this situation it's accurate. That's more than "haha can't date a girl your own age?" type of ribbing there.  You'd wonder WTF is wrong with the guy.  And the way VanIslander wrote almost like a proud older brother about how she was winning knitting contests and studying Japanes,e as if that somehow justified his attraction for her sets the needle of my creepometer swinging. 

Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: confusedsafferinkorea on May 13, 2019, 11:53:01 am
People get all bent out of shape with this age difference thing. To be honest, it has nothing to do with you.

I know a couple in the Philippines, he is 88 and she is 30 odd. They are so happy and have been together for many years. What does he get out of it? Companionship and the love and care of a good woman. What does she get out of it? I beautiful house that will be hers when he dies, security and the love of a good man. It is no ones business at all.

When an older man marries a younger one, people are quick to say the age gap will result in a divorce soon.  To me the track record of people marrying someone in their age range in terms of divorce is much worse.

I wish people would just mind their own business, courses for horses and all that stuff.
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: Kayos on May 13, 2019, 01:23:57 pm
People get all bent out of shape with this age difference thing. To be honest, it has nothing to do with you.

I know a couple in the Philippines, he is 88 and she is 30 odd. They are so happy and have been together for many years. What does he get out of it? Companionship and the love and care of a good woman. What does she get out of it? I beautiful house that will be hers when he dies, security and the love of a good man. It is no ones business at all.

When an older man marries a younger one, people are quick to say the age gap will result in a divorce soon.  To me the track record of people marrying someone in their age range in terms of divorce is much worse.

I wish people would just mind their own business, courses for horses and all that stuff.

While 88 and 30 is consenting adults and they can do whatever. I find that amount of an age gap to be super creepy. :o
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: OnNut81 on May 13, 2019, 01:59:24 pm
confusedsafferinkor ea: I wish people would just mind their own business, courses for horses and all that stuff.

I think if people followed that maxim this thread and site would see far less action.  This site is populated by bored people who come here to specifically not mind their own business much of the time.  The only way, in fact, confusedsafferinkor ea could've practiced what he preached would've been not commenting at all. 

I lived in Phuket for a number of years and also saw many lop-sided relationships age wise.  Definitely hard not to be somewhat creeped out when you see a petite 20 something walking arm in arm with an obese 70 year old but they've made an adult situation and there is no way the guy gives a rat's a** what you think. 
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: L I on May 13, 2019, 05:18:44 pm
To me the track record of people marrying someone in their age range in terms of divorce is much worse.

Research shows the opposite.

https://data360.wordpress.com/2014/11/13/small-age-gap-between-spouses-lowers-likelihood-of-divorce/
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: debbiem89 on May 14, 2019, 07:50:40 am
I honestly don't understand why people care what other people are doing with their lives.

If they are consenting adults and both have their eyes wide open when going into a relationship/marriage then that's absolutely their decision to make.

Some people marry for love and passion of course, but for a lot of people that's simply not the case and that's absolutely fine too.

What I HATE about this thread is all the men deciding that us women are SO bothered by it and SO jealous. Erm no, we're good.
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: eggieguffer on May 14, 2019, 08:05:19 am
Quote
If they are consenting adults and both have their eyes wide open when going into a relationship/marriage then that's absolutely their decision to make.

Do you feel the same about prostitution? Because if you substituted 'relationship' with 'transaction' above, there isn't really an argument for banning or restricting prostitution either.
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: kyndo on May 14, 2019, 08:17:18 am
Quote
If they are consenting adults and both have their eyes wide open when going into a relationship/marriage then that's absolutely their decision to make.
Do you feel the same about prostitution? Because if you substituted 'relationship' with 'transaction' above, there isn't really an argument for banning or restricting prostitution either.
Honestly, research has proven time and time again that legalizing and regulating prostitution makes it far safer for everybody involved.
I mean, I have issues with the idea of prostitution, but it's the oldest known profession and it will never ever go away, so society should do what it can to ensure that it isn't dangerous, dirty, and abusive as it so often is nowadays.
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: debbiem89 on May 14, 2019, 08:20:27 am
Quote
If they are consenting adults and both have their eyes wide open when going into a relationship/marriage then that's absolutely their decision to make.

Do you feel the same about prostitution? Because if you substituted 'relationship' with 'transaction' above, there isn't really an argument for banning or restricting prostitution either.

I absolutely feel the same about prostitution. As long as it's regulated and safe for both people involved of course.
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: eggieguffer on May 14, 2019, 08:21:44 am
Quote
If they are consenting adults and both have their eyes wide open when going into a relationship/marriage then that's absolutely their decision to make.
Do you feel the same about prostitution? Because if you substituted 'relationship' with 'transaction' above, there isn't really an argument for banning or restricting prostitution either.
Honestly, research has proven time and time again that legalizing and regulating prostitution makes it far safer for everybody involved.
I mean, I have issues with the idea of prostitution, but it's the oldest known profession and it will never ever go away, so society should do what it can to ensure that it isn't dangerous, dirty, and abusive as it so often is nowadays.

True, but things can be legalized without society not caring about them. E.g. adultery. Should people not care abut others committing adultery?   
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: kyndo on May 14, 2019, 08:28:39 am
True, but things can be legalized without society not caring about them. E.g. adultery. Should people not care abut others committing adultery?   
I'm not sure I follow.
What is the connection between adultery and prostitution and age differences in marriage?
I mean, sure, adultery is bad... but should it be illegal? Personally I don't think so but there are a lot of countries out there (including the US where it's a felony in many States) who apparently disagree with me.
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: eggieguffer on May 14, 2019, 08:39:00 am
True, but things can be legalized without society not caring about them. E.g. adultery. Should people not care abut others committing adultery?   
I'm not sure I follow.
What is the connection between adultery and prostitution and age differences in marriage?
I mean, sure, adultery is bad... but should it be illegal? Personally I don't think so but there are a lot of countries out there (including the US where it's a felony in many States) who apparently disagree with me.

My train of thought was, adultery and prostitution can be legal but still things society disapproves of. This disapproval could be a good thing, if it persuades people from doing these things. You could make the arguement that massive age differences between Western men and SE Asian women is basically a form of prostitution and therefore something society could disapprove of, without making it illegal.   
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: kyndo on May 14, 2019, 08:44:33 am
My train of thought was, adultery and prostitution can be legal but still things society disapproves of. This disapproval could be a good thing, if it persuades people from doing these things. You could make the arguement that massive age differences between Western men and SE Asian women is basically a form of prostitution and therefore something society could disapprove of, without making it illegal.   
Oh, I see.
Yes, I don't disagree. So long as there isn't any huge difference in power dynamics (ie marrying a minor), then I don't see how it should be any of the government's business.
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: debbiem89 on May 14, 2019, 08:48:15 am
True, but things can be legalized without society not caring about them. E.g. adultery. Should people not care abut others committing adultery?   
I'm not sure I follow.
What is the connection between adultery and prostitution and age differences in marriage?
I mean, sure, adultery is bad... but should it be illegal? Personally I don't think so but there are a lot of countries out there (including the US where it's a felony in many States) who apparently disagree with me.

My train of thought was, adultery and prostitution can be legal but still things society disapproves of. This disapproval could be a good thing, if it persuades people from doing these things. You could make the arguement that massive age differences between Western men and SE Asian women is basically a form of prostitution and therefore something society could disapprove of, without making it illegal.   

I think you're taking some absolutely massive leaps there.

For a start these kind of relationships don't only occur with Western men and SE Asian women. By your argument you could call MANY relationships prostitution.

My CoT dumped her lovely boyfriend for a rich guy that came along and proposed because he bought a gorgeous apartment for them to live in, is that also prostitution?

Also societies "disapproval" wouldn't persuade anyone otherwise, otherwise no one would be drinking alcohol or doing (even legal) drugs.

Just because some people disapprove of something personally, doesn't make it "wrong".
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: eggieguffer on May 14, 2019, 08:57:12 am
True, but things can be legalized without society not caring about them. E.g. adultery. Should people not care abut others committing adultery?   
I'm not sure I follow.
What is the connection between adultery and prostitution and age differences in marriage?
I mean, sure, adultery is bad... but should it be illegal? Personally I don't think so but there are a lot of countries out there (including the US where it's a felony in many States) who apparently disagree with me.

My train of thought was, adultery and prostitution can be legal but still things society disapproves of. This disapproval could be a good thing, if it persuades people from doing these things. You could make the arguement that massive age differences between Western men and SE Asian women is basically a form of prostitution and therefore something society could disapprove of, without making it illegal.   

I think you're taking some absolutely massive leaps there.

For a start these kind of relationships don't only occur with Western men and SE Asian women. By your argument you could call MANY relationships prostitution.

My CoT dumped her lovely boyfriend for a rich guy that came along and proposed because he bought a gorgeous apartment for them to live in, is that also prostitution?

Also societies "disapproval" wouldn't persuade anyone otherwise, otherwise no one would be drinking alcohol or doing (even legal) drugs.

Just because some people disapprove of something personally, doesn't make it "wrong".

True, it's not only SE Asian women ad western men, it just tends to be more obvious there because of the bigger age differences and more obvious lack of things in common.

Western society does generally disapprove of gold diggers, Asian society less so.

Society's disapproval counts for a lot. With regards to alcohol, the UK government is often saying the best way to combat binge drinking is to 'change the culture'. This is done by people disapproving of certain types of behaviour.
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: Kayos on May 14, 2019, 08:58:06 am
Quote
If they are consenting adults and both have their eyes wide open when going into a relationship/marriage then that's absolutely their decision to make.
Do you feel the same about prostitution? Because if you substituted 'relationship' with 'transaction' above, there isn't really an argument for banning or restricting prostitution either.
Honestly, research has proven time and time again that legalizing and regulating prostitution makes it far safer for everybody involved.
I mean, I have issues with the idea of prostitution, but it's the oldest known profession and it will never ever go away, so society should do what it can to ensure that it isn't dangerous, dirty, and abusive as it so often is nowadays.

Technically it should be the 2nd oldest profession. People would still have to trade something for it, so hunter / gatherer / fishing would probably be slightly older than prostitution.

And I have almost no problems with prostitution, I actually wish it was legalized in more places to make it safer for the workers. Though, my issues with prostitution are with people forced into this line of work. I only have no problems with people who go into it willingly.
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: eggieguffer on May 14, 2019, 09:09:17 am
Quote
And I have almost no problems with prostitution, I actually wish it was legalized in more places to make it safer for the workers. Though, my issues with prostitution are with people forced into this line of work.

When you say 'almost no problems' I assume you wouldn't regard prostitution as exactly the same as other jobs and would object to the following for example. 

Prostitutes playing for trade in daylight in busy shopping areas.
Prostitutes advertising on prime time TV
Careers advice at schools advising girls, or boys to go into prostitution.
Degrees in sex work at universities.

(BTW These are just examples to show how prostitution, even if legal would not be treated like any other job)
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: kyndo on May 14, 2019, 09:53:30 am
it's the oldest known profession
Technically it should be the 2nd oldest profession. People would still have to trade something for it, so hunter / gatherer / fishing would probably be slightly older than prostitution.
Hey, look here, I'm supposed to be the pedantic one here. Quit stealing my thunder.  >:(
Anyway, it could be tied for first. Might've been that the first professional hunter got paid in, uh, companionship.  :-*
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: debbiem89 on May 14, 2019, 12:17:06 pm
Quote
And I have almost no problems with prostitution, I actually wish it was legalized in more places to make it safer for the workers. Though, my issues with prostitution are with people forced into this line of work.

When you say 'almost no problems' I assume you wouldn't regard prostitution as exactly the same as other jobs and would object to the following for example. 

Prostitutes playing for trade in daylight in busy shopping areas.
Prostitutes advertising on prime time TV
Careers advice at schools advising girls, or boys to go into prostitution.
Degrees in sex work at universities.

(BTW These are just examples to show how prostitution, even if legal would not be treated like any other job)

Ever been to Amsterdam? The red light district is in a central location and they work during the day too. I literally saw families walking their kids past the windows and all the sex shops (that are in NO way concealed) and guess what? No one batted an eyelid. The huge stigma is removed. Same with the drugs...because the stigma is gone Dutch people actually don't care about it. My friends have told me they don't partake because it's just not a novelty for them.

You said societies "disapproving" of stuff makes people not do it....I would argue the opposite. Why do teens smoke when they're underage? Most people I know of simply stopped when they could legally buy cigarettes because the allure was totally gone.

My Korean students are the MOST obsessed with porn that I've ever known anyone to be BECAUSE it's illegal.

Your other examples don't make lot of sense. You don't need a degree to be a prostitute...like TONS of other jobs.

What are your feelings about strippers? Porn Stars? There's also no one coming to your school on career day for those jobs....doesn't mean they aren't valid jobs.
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: Kayos on May 14, 2019, 12:29:18 pm
Quote
And I have almost no problems with prostitution, I actually wish it was legalized in more places to make it safer for the workers. Though, my issues with prostitution are with people forced into this line of work.

When you say 'almost no problems' I assume you wouldn't regard prostitution as exactly the same as other jobs and would object to the following for example. 

Prostitutes playing for trade in daylight in busy shopping areas.
Prostitutes advertising on prime time TV
Careers advice at schools advising girls, or boys to go into prostitution.
Degrees in sex work at universities.

(BTW These are just examples to show how prostitution, even if legal would not be treated like any other job)

I'd have no problems with any of those things.
However, I doubt there would ever be degrees in sex work from a university.
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: kyndo on May 14, 2019, 12:30:46 pm
However, I doubt there would ever be degrees in sex work from a university.
They already have uni courses on dating. Just you wait: eventually they'll cut to the chase!
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: Kayos on May 14, 2019, 12:37:42 pm
it's the oldest known profession
Technically it should be the 2nd oldest profession. People would still have to trade something for it, so hunter / gatherer / fishing would probably be slightly older than prostitution.
Hey, look here, I'm supposed to be the pedantic one here. Quit stealing my thunder.  >:(
Anyway, it could be tied for first. Might've been that the first professional hunter got paid in, uh, companionship.  :-*

That's possible :P
One could argue that it's the oldest profession that is still pursued without much change.
Since we are farmers now more than hunter / gatherers now, and fishing is probably younger than prostitution. :p
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: Kayos on May 14, 2019, 01:48:10 pm
However, I doubt there would ever be degrees in sex work from a university.
They already have uni courses on dating. Just you wait: eventually they'll cut to the chase!

Oh wow, just curious, which universities offer these courses? :o
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: eggieguffer on May 14, 2019, 02:04:57 pm
Quote
And I have almost no problems with prostitution, I actually wish it was legalized in more places to make it safer for the workers. Though, my issues with prostitution are with people forced into this line of work.

When you say 'almost no problems' I assume you wouldn't regard prostitution as exactly the same as other jobs and would object to the following for example. 

Prostitutes playing for trade in daylight in busy shopping areas.
Prostitutes advertising on prime time TV
Careers advice at schools advising girls, or boys to go into prostitution.
Degrees in sex work at universities.

(BTW These are just examples to show how prostitution, even if legal would not be treated like any other job)

I'd have no problems with any of those things.
However, I doubt there would ever be degrees in sex work from a university.

I reckon universities having degrees on sex work is more likely than careers advisors telling kids they should go into prostitution. 
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: kyndo on May 14, 2019, 02:14:20 pm
Oh wow, just curious, which universities offer these courses? :o
Why? Planning on auditing a few courses?  :wink:

But yeah, it's becoming quite the thing, apparently. Unis now give *mandatory* dating classes.

https://www.nextbigfuture.com/2018/11/south-korea-university-mandatory-dating-class.html
https://www.cbc.ca/news/world/dongguk-university-course-marriage-love-dating-mandatory-1.4532780

The article lists Dongguk University in Seoul and Kyung Hee University as ones where this is the case and goes on to say many others will be following suit(ors).
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: confusedsafferinkorea on May 14, 2019, 06:35:31 pm
I know a couple in the Philippines, he is 88 and she is 30 odd. They are so happy and have been together for many years.

Many years? What age where they when they first met / married?


She is about 37 and she got married to him in her early 20's.
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: VanIslander on May 14, 2019, 07:25:29 pm
Prince Charles was 33 and Lady Di was 20 when they got married.

I was 12 at the time and thought he looked like the father giving the bride away!

Some couples just seem to not fit, and age difference can be an extra challenge.
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: Kayos on May 15, 2019, 07:53:04 am
Oh wow, just curious, which universities offer these courses? :o
Why? Planning on auditing a few courses?  :wink:

But yeah, it's becoming quite the thing, apparently. Unis now give *mandatory* dating classes.

https://www.nextbigfuture.com/2018/11/south-korea-university-mandatory-dating-class.html
https://www.cbc.ca/news/world/dongguk-university-course-marriage-love-dating-mandatory-1.4532780

The article lists Dongguk University in Seoul and Kyung Hee University as ones where this is the case and goes on to say many others will be following suit(ors).

Haha of course ;P
Nah, just never heard of it, and was interested in seeing what you can get out of the class :o

Cheers for the links, I'll have a read of them! :D
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: pkjh on May 15, 2019, 12:34:15 pm
Oh wow, just curious, which universities offer these courses? :o
Why? Planning on auditing a few courses?  :wink:

But yeah, it's becoming quite the thing, apparently. Unis now give *mandatory* dating classes.

https://www.nextbigfuture.com/2018/11/south-korea-university-mandatory-dating-class.html
https://www.cbc.ca/news/world/dongguk-university-course-marriage-love-dating-mandatory-1.4532780

The article lists Dongguk University in Seoul and Kyung Hee University as ones where this is the case and goes on to say many others will be following suit(ors).
It's not a 'dating' class, it's a Gender Studies class under the wing of social science, or humanities, or something along those lines. And "dating" is part of some assignments.
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: Chinguetti on May 15, 2019, 02:06:32 pm
Oh wow, just curious, which universities offer these courses? :o
Why? Planning on auditing a few courses?  :wink:

But yeah, it's becoming quite the thing, apparently. Unis now give *mandatory* dating classes.

https://www.nextbigfuture.com/2018/11/south-korea-university-mandatory-dating-class.html
https://www.cbc.ca/news/world/dongguk-university-course-marriage-love-dating-mandatory-1.4532780

The article lists Dongguk University in Seoul and Kyung Hee University as ones where this is the case and goes on to say many others will be following suit(ors).
It's not a 'dating' class, it's a Gender Studies class under the wing of social science, or humanities, or something along those lines. And "dating" is part of some assignments.

That's how they justify it from an educational standpoint so that they can include it as a mandatory part of the curriculum, but the purpose of those classes is to get the younger generations more comfortable with dating so that they'll hopefully form relationships that will lead to marriage. It's an attempt to improve the birthrate.

If they can do this by improving gender relations and making each gender understand and respect each other more, it's all good, but the classes are still aimed at improving dating relations. They are literally trying to teach students how to date and form long-term relationships; therefore, they are dating classes.
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: debbiem89 on May 15, 2019, 02:24:20 pm
Oh wow, just curious, which universities offer these courses? :o
Why? Planning on auditing a few courses?  :wink:

But yeah, it's becoming quite the thing, apparently. Unis now give *mandatory* dating classes.

https://www.nextbigfuture.com/2018/11/south-korea-university-mandatory-dating-class.html
https://www.cbc.ca/news/world/dongguk-university-course-marriage-love-dating-mandatory-1.4532780

The article lists Dongguk University in Seoul and Kyung Hee University as ones where this is the case and goes on to say many others will be following suit(ors).
It's not a 'dating' class, it's a Gender Studies class under the wing of social science, or humanities, or something along those lines. And "dating" is part of some assignments.

That's how they justify it from an educational standpoint so that they can include it as a mandatory part of the curriculum, but the purpose of those classes is to get the younger generations more comfortable with dating so that they'll hopefully form relationships that will lead to marriage. It's an attempt to improve the birthrate.

If they can do this by improving gender relations and making each gender understand and respect each other more, it's all good, but the classes are still aimed at improving dating relations. They are literally trying to teach students how to date and form long-term relationships; therefore, they are dating classes.

Yep. My Middle Schoolers told me they literally have a class about getting a boyfriend/girlfriend.

BUT no sex ed... logical.
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: kyndo on May 15, 2019, 05:36:50 pm
    Gender studies, dating lessons, sex ed, whatever. I think it's a great idea.
     In a country where the vast majority of young people are brought up by gender segregated schools ( I do actually mean 'by' and not 'in'), having classes that help reintegrate the sexes in universities is something that should have been implemented long ago.
   Anybody who has ever worked in a Korean uni can tell you how absolutely awkward freshman classes are, and how there is almost no interaction at all between males and females. Anything that can help erase this divide is doing everybody a huge favour.
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: pkjh on May 15, 2019, 06:47:42 pm
In a country where the vast majority of young people are brought up by gender segregated schools ( I do actually mean 'by' and not 'in'), having classes that help reintegrate the sexes in universities is something that should have been implemented long ago.
I believe you're wrong for the current generation schooled since the late-90's. Most have been schooled in co-ed schools. At least in my town most school are co-ed. You can count the segregated school on one hand. And those are the ones that were there before the 90's. I believe all new public schools opened since the 90's are co-ed. And especially in small towns, with the lack of students, schools are closed and students are put into already existing schools are are co-ed.

Interesting thing, is that students at segregated schools outperform their peers at co-ed schools by a significant margin in virtually all subjects.
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: kyndo on May 15, 2019, 07:06:28 pm
In a country where the vast majority of young people are brought up by gender segregated schools ( I do actually mean 'by' and not 'in'), having classes that help reintegrate the sexes in universities is something that should have been implemented long ago.
I believe you're wrong for the current generation schooled since the late-90's. Most have been schooled in co-ed schools. At least in my town most school are co-ed. You can count the segregated school on one hand. And those are the ones that were there before the 90's. I believe all new public schools opened since the 90's are co-ed. And especially in small towns, with the lack of students, schools are closed and students are put into already existing schools are are co-ed.

Interesting thing, is that students at segregated schools outperform their peers at co-ed schools by a significant margin in virtually all subjects.
Maybe it's regional,  as all the middleschools and highschools that I've worked at here in Gyeongsangbukdo are either boys only or girls only. The vast majority of them are, in this province.
From a quick search online, it's apparent thatmore than 50% of middle schools in Korea are gender segregated. (https://www.researchgate.net/figure/Distribution-of-gender-segregation-in-schools-by-nation-among-high-gender-segregation_fig2_250151353) I imagine that the percentage of highschools would be similar.

Out of curiosity what province are you based?

Oh, and I totally believe you in that segregated schools result in better education. Far fewer distractions, better tailored materials etc etc! Still, it does make for awkward social environments when they graduate. :sad:

Here's a Korean Times article (http://www.koreatimes.co.kr/www/news/nation/2008/06/117_26240.html) that talks about the segregated vs coed issue specifically in Daegu (which is somewhat close to where I'm based). They agree with you too.
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: Foreverparadise on May 16, 2019, 03:16:35 am
I am in my early 40's, and I would not mind going out with women who are younger than me.
The reason why these women think it's disgusting is because these women are narrow in their
minds, and judgmental. They don't realize that men who are older are still able to reproduce
but for older women that's a different story. (I don't encourage relationships just for reproduction).

In South Korea, 19 is legal adult age. In Canada where I am the legal age is 18. So if I want to go
out with a woman 10 or 15 years my junior, it is my choice. If other women don't like it then I
would tell them to go to hell. I prefer women who are younger, I don't want a woman who is the
same age as me or older.

What goes on between two consenting adults is legal. Therefore, if I am in my early 40's and I have
an affair with a women in her 20's, then it's nobody's business.
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: Nickkorean on May 16, 2019, 07:39:02 am
My korean girlfriend is 13 years older than me and its been met with some shocked reactions by people. I really don't see why it's such an issue!
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: JVPrice on May 16, 2019, 07:49:21 am
My co-worker at my old job had an affair with me. She's 11 years older. Don't see much of a problem as we were both consenting adults. :angel:
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: alexisalex on May 16, 2019, 08:40:16 am
My co-worker at my old job had an affair with me. She's 11 years older. Don't see much of a problem as we were both consenting adults. :angel:

Be a little bit careful now that anyone reading here knows your real name and what you look like!
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: T_Rex on May 16, 2019, 08:43:28 am
A 15 year age difference:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fd_oQ5ocBdM

They ended up getting divorced.
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: debbiem89 on May 16, 2019, 09:05:41 am
I am in my early 40's, and I would not mind going out with women who are younger than me.
The reason why these women think it's disgusting is because these women are narrow in their
minds, and judgmental. They don't realize that men who are older are still able to reproduce
but for older women that's a different story. (I don't encourage relationships just for reproduction).

In South Korea, 19 is legal adult age. In Canada where I am the legal age is 18. So if I want to go
out with a woman 10 or 15 years my junior, it is my choice. If other women don't like it then I
would tell them to go to hell. I prefer women who are younger, I don't want a woman who is the
same age as me or older.

What goes on between two consenting adults is legal. Therefore, if I am in my early 40's and I have
an affair with a women in her 20's, then it's nobody's business.


Who are "these women" you talk about?

Honestly, so sick of men assuming that women are all jealous of anyone younger than them and we are just DESPERATE to reproduce with all these wrinkly, old ball sacks of men.

Find me some women on this post that have wrote anything of the sort. I'll find you some men who've wrote the same.

Have your opinion but please don't speak for us women when you clearly see us all as two dimensional stereotypes and haven't got a clue mate.

What an absolute cliche you are.
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: OnNut81 on May 16, 2019, 09:25:46 am
ForeverParadise: I prefer women who are younger, I don't want a woman who is the
same age as me or older.

Yeah, I think we all know why Thailand is your holiday destination of choice.  Now are you are able to meet and date these younger women in Canada?  I don't think you've earned the right to be contemptuous of jealous women giving you the stink eye for dating these younger women when it actually hasn't happened.  If you end up dating another adult several years your junior and then get these comments from other women feel free to go off and tell them to "go to hell."  But, in the meantime why not hold off on lumping women into these "jealous of your fertility" group until it actually happens?  I'm guessing a 40 year old dating a 25-30 year old will not elicit much reaction. 
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: CO2 on May 16, 2019, 09:49:03 am
A 15 year age difference:

Are you sure it's not 30? hahaha
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: zola on May 16, 2019, 09:54:16 am
all these wrinkly, old ball sacs of men.

This one really hurts. My ball sack has been through a lot, don't need you to demean and insult it.
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: Chinguetti on May 16, 2019, 10:07:58 am
Who are "these women" you talk about?

Honestly, so sick of men assuming that women are all jealous of anyone younger than them and we are just DESPERATE to reproduce with all these wrinkly, old ball sacs of men.

Right? Most women (and men) who have legit problems with large age gaps between men and women aren't jealous. This isn't some weird episode of South Park, lol. They're disgusted and disturbed (doesn't really matter if that's right or wrong, just speaking about how they feel about it).

But yeah, keep telling yourself that jealousy and unrequited lust for old men are the driving forces behind their disapproval.
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: debbiem89 on May 16, 2019, 10:18:48 am
all these wrinkly, old ball sacks of men.

This one really hurts. My ball sack has been through a lot, don't need you to demean and insult it.

Baha not speaking about the ballsacks themselves....they're just hanging around minding their own biz.

It's the men who are the wrinkly old ball sacks themselves that get my disapproval ;)

(also kicking myself that I typed quickly and missed the "k" off "sack" d'oh)
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: JVPrice on May 16, 2019, 11:17:59 am
My co-worker at my old job had an affair with me. She's 11 years older. Don't see much of a problem as we were both consenting adults. :angel:

Be a little bit careful now that anyone reading here knows your real name and what you look like!

This was before I even came to Korea, plus I was single at the time. Shouldn't really affect me in any way lol

To illustrate my main point, if they're both of legal age, there's nothing wrong. It might be disgusting in some cases yes, but we can't really have a say in it if both parties are legally consenting.
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: Colburnnn on May 16, 2019, 11:18:11 am
Who are "these women" you talk about?

Honestly, so sick of men assuming that women are all jealous of anyone younger than them and we are just DESPERATE to reproduce with all these wrinkly, old ball sacs of men.

Right? Most women (and men) who have legit problems with large age gaps between men and women aren't jealous. This isn't some weird episode of South Park, lol. They're disgusted and disturbed (doesn't really matter if that's right or wrong, just speaking about how they feel about it).

But yeah, keep telling yourself that jealousy and unrequited lust for old men are the driving forces behind their disapproval.

What is the reason it is disgusting though? Yeah its not jealousy, but then what is it? And just so we are clear I'm not for or against it.

Is it also disgusting for the 25 year old girl to be ****** a 40 year old man? Or only the 40 year old man ****** the 25 year old girl.
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: alexisalex on May 16, 2019, 12:18:34 pm
My co-worker at my old job had an affair with me. She's 11 years older. Don't see much of a problem as we were both consenting adults. :angel:

Be a little bit careful now that anyone reading here knows your real name and what you look like!

This was before I even came to Korea, plus I was single at the time. Shouldn't really affect me in any way lol

To illustrate my main point, if they're both of legal age, there's nothing wrong. It might be disgusting in some cases yes, but we can't really have a say in it if both parties are legally consenting.

Hahaha sorry, I thought you meant a previous school in Korea  :laugh: :laugh:
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: debbiem89 on May 16, 2019, 02:23:36 pm
    Gender studies, dating lessons, sex ed, whatever. I think it's a great idea.
     In a country where the vast majority of young people are brought up by gender segregated schools ( I do actually mean 'by' and not 'in'), having classes that help reintegrate the sexes in universities is something that should have been implemented long ago.
   Anybody who has ever worked in a Korean uni can tell you how absolutely awkward freshman classes are, and how there is almost no interaction at all between males and females. Anything that can help erase this divide is doing everybody a huge favour.

But they don't have ANY sex ed pretty much and it's scary. My Korean friend (early twenties) thinks that while straight people can only catch HIV...gay people are born with it. I shit you not. 

My middle school students are having sex and they have NO idea about anything except pregnancy.

Also yeah mostly co-ed...I did teach in Gyeongsangbuk-do too though and they were largely separated,
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: OnNut81 on May 16, 2019, 03:11:19 pm
I became friends with a 27 year old Korean woman back when I first moved to the city I'm in now.  I knew her from classes in Seoul and we became good platonic friends and she would come hang out at my place for beers and talk.  Anyways, she was a university graduate and confided in me that she had recently started having sex with her boyfriend for both of their first experiences.  She was comfortable enough talking to me about things but we eventually stopped hanging out because her boyfriend was stressed about our meeting.  Anyways, a few months later (we still chatted on Kakao) she sent me a message saying she had sent me a file through email and asked if I could watch it and then explain it to her.  She had already seen it.  It was a BBC documentary on sex and all the various activities and methods.  I never knew what she wanted explained.  They showed everything graphically in this several part series. And, no, she wasn't trying to get me interested.  She often expressed the concern she didn't know how to be good at sex. 

No doubt she's had a kid by now.  I couldn't get her to use condoms or go on the pill (she was convinced that was a death sentence) and they were relying on the pull out method. 
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: debbiem89 on May 16, 2019, 03:26:05 pm
I became friends with a 27 year old Korean woman back when I first moved to the city I'm in now.  I knew her from classes in Seoul and we became good platonic friends and she would come hang out at my place for beers and talk.  Anyways, she was a university graduate and confided in me that she had recently started having sex with her boyfriend for both of their first experiences.  She was comfortable enough talking to me about things but we eventually stopped hanging out because her boyfriend was stressed about our meeting.  Anyways, a few months later (we still chatted on Kakao) she sent me a message saying she had sent me a file through email and asked if I could watch it and then explain it to her.  She had already seen it.  It was a BBC documentary on sex and all the various activities and methods.  I never knew what she wanted explained.  They showed everything graphically in this several part series. And, no, she wasn't trying to get me interested.  She often expressed the concern she didn't know how to be good at sex. 

No doubt she's had a kid by now.  I couldn't get her to use condoms or go on the pill (she was convinced that was a death sentence) and they were relying on the pull out method. 
It's scary.

Korean guys (from my personal experience):

1. Decide you're on the pill and their penis looks clean so therefore they have no STDs and don't want to use anything else.
2. Decide to make the decision for you that you shouldn't be taking the pill because it's "bad for your health" and demand you stop.
3. A lovely mix of the above...they try to force you to stop taking the pill, while also telling you they're clean and wish to only use the withdrawal method.

It's pretty terrifying and even worse, like with your friend above,  they get away with it.
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: JVPrice on May 16, 2019, 03:30:47 pm
I became friends with a 27 year old Korean woman back when I first moved to the city I'm in now.  I knew her from classes in Seoul and we became good platonic friends and she would come hang out at my place for beers and talk.  Anyways, she was a university graduate and confided in me that she had recently started having sex with her boyfriend for both of their first experiences.  She was comfortable enough talking to me about things but we eventually stopped hanging out because her boyfriend was stressed about our meeting.  Anyways, a few months later (we still chatted on Kakao) she sent me a message saying she had sent me a file through email and asked if I could watch it and then explain it to her.  She had already seen it.  It was a BBC documentary on sex and all the various activities and methods.  I never knew what she wanted explained.  They showed everything graphically in this several part series. And, no, she wasn't trying to get me interested.  She often expressed the concern she didn't know how to be good at sex. 

No doubt she's had a kid by now.  I couldn't get her to use condoms or go on the pill (she was convinced that was a death sentence) and they were relying on the pull out method. 
It's scary.

Korean guys (from my personal experience):

1. Decide you're on the pill and their penis looks clean so therefore they have no STDs and don't want to use anything else.
2. Decide to make the decision for you that you shouldn't be taking the pill because it's "bad for your health" and demand you stop.
3. A lovely mix of the above...they try to force you to stop taking the pill, while also telling you they're clean and wish to only use the withdrawal method.

It's pretty terrifying and even worse, like with your friend above,  they get away with it.

Not sure how all this is relevant to the topic at hand, but it makes me genuinely curious as to how much Koreans really know about this stuff.

My Korean Ex (and an American friend who used to sleep around) used to tell me how disappointed her friends were with their BFs in that regard.
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: pkjh on May 17, 2019, 10:24:29 am
Maybe it's regional,  as all the middleschools and highschools that I've worked at here in Gyeongsangbukdo are either boys only or girls only. The vast majority of them are, in this province.
From a quick search online, it's apparent thatmore than 50% of middle schools in Korea are gender segregated. (https://www.researchgate.net/figure/Distribution-of-gender-segregation-in-schools-by-nation-among-high-gender-segregation_fig2_250151353) I imagine that the percentage of highschools would be similar.


We looking at the same report?
The blue is mixed, and out-number gender segregated schools.

https://www.researchgate.net/figure/Gender-segregation-by-school-type-in-Korea-2006-Source-Republic-of-Korea-Ministry-of_fig3_250151353

Edit: wait the one with the brownish-yellow bar graph might be the students in schools, not the actual physical schools. But still it's barely a majority. But I can't see the details without signing up.
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: kyndo on May 17, 2019, 12:06:14 pm
https://www.researchgate.net/figure/Gender-segregation-by-school-type-in-Korea-2006-Source-Republic-of-Korea-Ministry-of_fig3_250151353

Edit: wait the one with the brownish-yellow bar graph might be the students in schools, not the actual physical schools. But still it's barely a majority. But I can't see the details without signing up.
I'm trying to think up how the two very different values might correlate, and I'm guessing you're right: the small graphs look at the number of students who go to segregated schools (53%) in the country, while the graph you linked shows the number of schools that are segregated.
      I was actually a bit surprised that only 53% of middle school students in Korea are in segregated schools, but it makes sense: the trend is for schools to desegregate, and these kinds of trends usually start in the cities. I live out in the boonies in a traditionally conservative area (Gyeongbuk), so they're kinda holding on to old fashioned "keep 'em separated" idea.

Anyway, I suppose I should correct "overwhelmingly segregated" to "the majority being segregated". Learned something new today.  :smiley:
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: Mezoti97 on May 17, 2019, 12:14:40 pm
But they don't have ANY sex ed pretty much and it's scary. My Korean friend (early twenties) thinks that while straight people can only catch HIV...gay people are born with it. I shit you not. 

I think Korean elementary school students (or at least 6th graders) do have a sex ed class -- I remember during my first year teaching at my first public elementary school, my co-teacher told me a few times that our English class was cancelled on a particular day because the 6th grade students were attending a sex ed class. Granted, I don't know whether their sex ed class was actually informative/helpful/useful, but there was some kind of sex ed class that they attended, yeah.
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: debbiem89 on May 17, 2019, 12:28:29 pm
But they don't have ANY sex ed pretty much and it's scary. My Korean friend (early twenties) thinks that while straight people can only catch HIV...gay people are born with it. I shit you not. 

I think Korean elementary school students (or at least 6th graders) do have a sex ed class -- I remember during my first year teaching at my first public elementary school, my co-teacher told me a few times that our English class was cancelled on a particular day because the 6th grade students were attending a sex ed class. Granted, I don't know whether their sex ed class was actually informative/helpful/useful, but there was some kind of sex ed class that they attended, yeah.

Yeah that's why I said "pretty much" is covers barely anything. From what I understand it's basically "this is where babies come from".
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: Mister Tim on May 17, 2019, 12:58:26 pm
But they don't have ANY sex ed pretty much and it's scary. My Korean friend (early twenties) thinks that while straight people can only catch HIV...gay people are born with it. I shit you not. 

I think Korean elementary school students (or at least 6th graders) do have a sex ed class -- I remember during my first year teaching at my first public elementary school, my co-teacher told me a few times that our English class was cancelled on a particular day because the 6th grade students were attending a sex ed class. Granted, I don't know whether their sex ed class was actually informative/helpful/useful, but there was some kind of sex ed class that they attended, yeah.

It could be similar to some schools in the US, where there are two phases of Sex Ed:

1) The one you take in late elementary school, which is mostly about puberty and what they need to know/expect. "Your Changing Body," etc. That's what I assume Korean 6th grade Sex Ed covers.

2) The one you take in High School, which is more about reproduction, STDs, and safe sex. That could be the one people are saying Korea lacks, but I really couldn't say one way or the other. I've never taught HS, and I've certainly never talked to any Koreans about sex.

Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: Mr.DeMartino on May 17, 2019, 01:24:11 pm
There's only one place that kid's really learn about sex: On the street. Or I guess in this day and age, that would be on social media/the internet.

Yeah, the class says blah blah blah, but no one will really care. They'll just go home and google something and then watch a youtube vid or get some answer off of Quora or Reddit.

Were you vigorously taking notes in sex ed? Was anything magically revealed? All the "This is your body and where babies come from" stuff was already known or the lame experience of having to label 'Vas Deferens' on a photocopied genitalia picture.

High school, everyone knew everything already by then, what between the early days of internet porn, Skinemax, and people already hooking up.

Sex ed is like banning sales of beer after the 7th inning to send a message about drinking. It's all a bunch of BS so certain people can feel better about themselves and think they're actually doing something. It's just a bunch of empty gestures.

Kids will believe whatever they believe based on their friends and the internet. Nothing will change that.
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: Chinguetti on May 18, 2019, 05:54:03 pm
What is the reason it is disgusting though? Yeah its not jealousy, but then what is it? And just so we are clear I'm not for or against it.

Is it also disgusting for the 25 year old girl to be ****** a 40 year old man? Or only the 40 year old man ****** the 25 year old girl.

There are different reasons, but the most common are all related to what people associate with that type of relationship: exploitation. I have to reiterate again that these aren't necessarily my views, I'm just sharing some of the reasons why some people are against it. I personally don't have any issues with it as long as everyone involved are legal and consenting adults, and no one is stringing anyone along.

Here are examples of the types of exploitation that might come to some people's minds:

1) Prostitution -- Many often associate much older men dating much younger women with a sugar baby/sugar daddy type of setup, and most people view that type of setup as another form of prostitution (if sex is involved, which it often is). Even with people who see nothing wrong with prostitution in and of itself, they find actually engaging in it as abhorrent, especially when they feel like someone is taking advantage of the other.

2) Incest/pedophilia -- Even when the two aren't related and everyone involved are grown adults, a lot of people can't help viewing older men as filling father figure type roles, and the idea of an older man dating someone who could be his daughter or granddaughter fills people with that type of imagery. This is further compounded when people project their own feelings -- as in, this is how they view others much younger than themselves, so how on earth could anyone else not see it the same way?

3) Insecurity -- The idea that both people are acting on severe insecurities, with younger women seeking validation through the attentions of an older man (daddy complex) and the money/security he can provide her in the same way (gold-digging), and older men seeking validation of their sexual virility in being able to obtain a younger woman (i.e. mid-life crisis), even if it means taking advantage of whatever issues she might have. People feel like they're both taking advantage of each other, but they place more responsibility on the older person because people feel they should know better. This further lends to the idea that the older person is only trying to use the younger person with no regard for the younger person's own path in life.

4) Inappropropriatenes s -- The idea that because there is such a large gap in age between them, there's not enough in common between the two of them for the relationship to be based on anything more than money and sex. This just rubs a lot of people the wrong way, often for one or all of the reasons already stated, or for others that aren't already stated (like it could be something as simple as thinking the older person is just too old to be physically attractive anymore, so how could someone much younger and with so many other options be into it). It's just too superficial for many to accept, and the greater the age gap, the worse it is.

People see it as gross of both individuals, but more onus is placed on the older person because it indicates a lack of maturity and personal growth. This is true if the older person is male or female, but it's talked more openly about when the older person is male. This double-standard is partly because females are seen as more vulnerable while men are seen as greater perpetrators of sexual exploitation, but it's also because much older men with much younger women is far more common.

Here's a simple article about it:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/meet-catch-and-keep/201806/why-people-dont-trust-couples-major-age-difference
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: VanIslander on May 18, 2019, 09:19:46 pm
Can a 50 year old try to love and marry a 40 year old?

(I have a crush on Amber Ruffin. If I ever meet her less famous doppleganger...)
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: oglop on May 18, 2019, 10:40:57 pm
There's only one place that kid's really learn about sex: On the street. Or I guess in this day and age, that would be on social media/the internet.

Yeah, the class says blah blah blah, but no one will really care. They'll just go home and google something and then watch a youtube vid or get some answer off of Quora or Reddit.

Were you vigorously taking notes in sex ed? Was anything magically revealed? All the "This is your body and where babies come from" stuff was already known or the lame experience of having to label 'Vas Deferens' on a photocopied genitalia picture.

High school, everyone knew everything already by then, what between the early days of internet porn, Skinemax, and people already hooking up.

Sex ed is like banning sales of beer after the 7th inning to send a message about drinking. It's all a bunch of BS so certain people can feel better about themselves and think they're actually doing something. It's just a bunch of empty gestures.

Kids will believe whatever they believe based on their friends and the internet. Nothing will change that.
yeah, i'm not sure why kids go to school at all tbh. they may as well just stay home and browse quora or watch youtube videos instead
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: confusedsafferinkorea on May 19, 2019, 11:11:27 am
yeah, i'm not sure why kids go to school at all tbh. they may as well just stay home and browse quora or watch youtube videos instead

Yah sure, that is if of course you have access to the internet and do you think for one moment kids will browse quora and not play games instead?

Only 24% of people in Africa had internet access in 2018.
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: LIC on May 25, 2019, 07:38:43 pm
Women like mature responsible men. Those tend to be older.

Men like hot, sexy, fit, beautiful women. Those are younger and tend not be white. Seriously, 150 lbs is the new thin for WW.

I have a relationship rule:

90% of the time a woman should be listening. 10% of the time she's talking

When she's talking 90% of the time she should be asking me if I want beer, sex or food...

The other 10% of the time is the requisite nagging and complaining men have to put up with cuz that's what women do best!
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: oglop on May 25, 2019, 09:20:41 pm
yeah, i'm not sure why kids go to school at all tbh. they may as well just stay home and browse quora or watch youtube videos instead

Yah sure, that is if of course you have access to the internet and do you think for one moment kids will browse quora and not play games instead?

Only 24% of people in Africa had internet access in 2018.


(https://i.ytimg.com/vi/EZ73Q4DwrGM/hqdefault.jpg)
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: confusedsafferinkorea on May 26, 2019, 07:26:59 am
yeah, i'm not sure why kids go to school at all tbh. they may as well just stay home and browse quora or watch youtube videos instead

Yah sure, that is if of course you have access to the internet and do you think for one moment kids will browse quora and not play games instead?

Only 24% of people in Africa had internet access in 2018.


(https://i.ytimg.com/vi/EZ73Q4DwrGM/hqdefault.jpg)

Point taken but you must admit these days on Waygook it is sometimes hard to distinguish what is sarcasm and what is not.
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: confusedsafferinkorea on May 26, 2019, 07:29:24 am
Women like mature responsible men. Those tend to be older.

Men like hot, sexy, fit, beautiful women. Those are younger and tend not be white. Seriously, 150 lbs is the new thin for WW.



I have a relationship rule:

90% of the time a woman should be listening. 10% of the time she's talking

When she's talking 90% of the time she should be asking me if I want beer, sex or food...

The other 10% of the time is the requisite nagging and complaining men have to put up with cuz that's what women do best!

I assume you are joking, right?
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: LIC on May 26, 2019, 09:43:16 pm
Women like mature responsible men. Those tend to be older.

Men like hot, sexy, fit, beautiful women. Those are younger and tend not be white. Seriously, 150 lbs is the new thin for WW.



I have a relationship rule:

90% of the time a woman should be listening. 10% of the time she's talking

When she's talking 90% of the time she should be asking me if I want beer, sex or food...

The other 10% of the time is the requisite nagging and complaining men have to put up with cuz that's what women do best!

I assume you are joking, right?

No, I am not. There's only room for 1 king in my castle. I paid for the castle. I am the king. In the long run things work out more or less 50 / 50, but someone has to be the boss. That's me.
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: zola on May 27, 2019, 06:21:22 am
Women like mature responsible men. Those tend to be older.

Men like hot, sexy, fit, beautiful women. Those are younger and tend not be white. Seriously, 150 lbs is the new thin for WW.



I have a relationship rule:

90% of the time a woman should be listening. 10% of the time she's talking

When she's talking 90% of the time she should be asking me if I want beer, sex or food...

The other 10% of the time is the requisite nagging and complaining men have to put up with cuz that's what women do best!

I assume you are joking, right?

No, I am not. There's only room for 1 king in my castle. I paid for the castle. I am the king. In the long run things work out more or less 50 / 50, but someone has to be the boss. That's me.
Lol. Good lord. For sure this is one of those guys who moved to Asia to find a wife because western women were too liberal.

I hope it's a joke because i genuinely feel sorry for any female that has to spend more than 30 seconds in your presence. Or any male for that matter.
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: OnNut81 on May 27, 2019, 07:48:02 am
LIC: No, I am not. There's only room for 1 king in my castle. I paid for the castle. I am the king. In the long run things work out more or less 50 / 50, but someone has to be the boss. That's me.

Haha, classic words from the drunk dude going home alone at the end of every evening. 
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: Aristocrat on May 27, 2019, 08:21:42 am
Women like mature responsible men. Those tend to be older.

Men like hot, sexy, fit, beautiful women. Those are younger and tend not be white. Seriously, 150 lbs is the new thin for WW.



I have a relationship rule:

90% of the time a woman should be listening. 10% of the time she's talking

When she's talking 90% of the time she should be asking me if I want beer, sex or food...

The other 10% of the time is the requisite nagging and complaining men have to put up with cuz that's what women do best!

I assume you are joking, right?

No, I am not. There's only room for 1 king in my castle. I paid for the castle. I am the king. In the long run things work out more or less 50 / 50, but someone has to be the boss. That's me.

While I agree that there needs to be a single leader of a family, to avoid conflict and keep things running smoothly, it's nowhere near as crude as the analogy you used.

- Anyone who uses weight as the sole metric for fitness and an attractive body has little to no understanding of fitness and
  training. I'd put my money on you being out of shape yourself.

- I love how you use the analogy of you being the king of your castle, when at best, you're living in a 35 pyeong 'apatu' or
  'billa'. Which you don't even own.

- I'm sure you'll find what you're looking for, but remember, when all you've got to offer is a U.S passport, she'll certainly
  be aware that staying married to you is not necessary to keep said passport.

- A good husband leads his family, while prioritizing their needs before his own. You don't sound like a husband, you
  sound like a boy who misses the teat and is looking for a glorified mother to take care of him. Best of luck, Romeo. Leave
  some for the rest of us... In the meantime, I believe Homeplus has a sale on tissues and vaseline, knock yourself out.

Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: alexisalex on May 27, 2019, 08:31:30 am
Women like mature responsible men. Those tend to be older.

Men like hot, sexy, fit, beautiful women. Those are younger and tend not be white. Seriously, 150 lbs is the new thin for WW.



I have a relationship rule:

90% of the time a woman should be listening. 10% of the time she's talking

When she's talking 90% of the time she should be asking me if I want beer, sex or food...

The other 10% of the time is the requisite nagging and complaining men have to put up with cuz that's what women do best!

I assume you are joking, right?

No, I am not. There's only room for 1 king in my castle. I paid for the castle. I am the king. In the long run things work out more or less 50 / 50, but someone has to be the boss. That's me.

While I agree that there needs to be a single leader of a family, to avoid conflict and keep things running smoothly, it's nowhere near as crude as the analogy you used.

- Anyone who uses weight as the sole metric for fitness and an attractive body has little to no understanding of fitness and
  training. I'd put my money on you being out of shape yourself.

- I love how you use the analogy of you being the king of your castle, when at best, you're living in a 35 pyeong 'apatu' or
  'billa'. Which you don't even own.

- I'm sure you'll find what you're looking for, but remember, when all you've got to offer is a U.S passport, she'll certainly
  be aware that staying married to you is not necessary to keep said passport.

- A good husband leads his family, while prioritizing their needs before his own. You don't sound like a husband, you
  sound like a boy who misses the teat and is looking for a glorified mother to take care of him. Best of luck, Romeo. Leave
  some for the rest of us... In the meantime, I believe Homeplus has a sale on tissues and vaseline, knock yourself out.

To be fair to him he does actually sound happy  :laugh:  That's the most important thing in life isn't it?
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: AMDC on May 27, 2019, 10:49:43 am
You don't sound like a husband, you sound like a boy who misses the teat and is looking for a glorified mother to take care of him. Best of luck, Romeo. Leave some for the rest of us... In the meantime, I believe Homeplus has a sale on tissues and vaseline, knock yourself out.

Oof. Grab some 알로에베라 while you're at Homeplus to treat that burn.
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: Mr.DeMartino on May 27, 2019, 11:14:51 am
I am the king.
You're a lower-middle class husband, perhaps middle or upper middle if you've done well with your investments. No more, no less.

You know what they say about a man who has to say "I am the King"...
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: JVPrice on May 27, 2019, 11:29:51 am
I am the king.
You're a lower-middle class husband, perhaps middle or upper middle if you've done well with your investments. No more, no less.

You know what they say about a man who has to say "I am the King"...

Literally all I can think about right now:

(https://media2.giphy.com/media/10dnNMNdFQSt5C/giphy.gif?cid=790b76115ceb595b773277313276e6dd&rid=giphy.gif)
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: LIC on June 19, 2019, 10:39:27 am
I get a serious kick out of how wrong everybody is. You're thinking like Westerners. You do not understand.
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: oglop on June 19, 2019, 11:11:05 am
https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/9276476/age-gap-love-pensioner-edna-martin-simon-toyboy-husband/
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: hangook77 on June 19, 2019, 02:56:36 pm
https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/9276476/age-gap-love-pensioner-edna-martin-simon-toyboy-husband/

Weird, but he looks kind of old himself.  Not as old as her.  But, I have noticed men who are married to or in a relationship with an older woman quite a bit look older than their age.  (A quick fling is different.)  A man who has a younger wife or girlfriend can be really rich or he can be really young looking for his age.  Of course there;s the rich country poor country dynamic going on. 
Title: Re: Age difference in relationships
Post by: oglop on June 19, 2019, 07:49:30 pm
i didn't read much into it. just thought it was appropriate for this thread