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  • kacielm
  • Explorer

    • 8

    • April 08, 2012, 09:10:39 am
    • USA
Couchsurfing seen as slutty by Koreans
« on: July 23, 2013, 06:10:51 am »
Got the following from my supervisor this morning, after becoming a Couchsurfing host.

Statement of Civil Complaint
Last Friday (7/19) evening, I got a phone call from vice principle Kang. It was your civil complain *sic* from parents of our school students. That person told about your behavior that you are inviting many men to your house and they came out in the morning from your house. It cause *sic* neighbor inconvenience. And that person also said to the vice principle, they already asked you to stop that but you didn't change. Your neighbors already know that YOU are [Mod edit: school name removed] TEACHER and they think that your behavior is not appropriate for teacher's attitude as well as not good for your young students who live around your house. At the end of the complain, *sic* that person told that [Mod edit: school name removed] hired unsuitable person for teacher.
I already told about your 'Couchsurfing' to principle and vice principles but they are disappointed with the fact, many men came out in the morning from the teacher's house which is rented by budget of korean civil's tax, and they want to change your attitude as a TEACHER IN KOREA.
As American way of thought, you may think that is invasion of privacy. But you are employee of Korea national educational institution. And Koreans expect you to comply with Korean culture. In this country, if you give an impression behind on student's parents *sic* that you look to be sexually promiscuous as teacher, *sic* then you can be a target of criticism whether actually happened or not. So your behavior that conflict with Korean culture caused your neighbor's civil complaint. Furthermore, this complain *sic* is regarded as our school hired inappropriate person for teacher. Consequently, you caused the complain to school and violated a contract article 19-1. So we will issue warning letter.
Article 19 (Codes of Conduct)
1. The Employee shall not behave in any manner which may damage or tarnish the reputation of the teaching profession in general or of the GEPIK program and the undersigned Employee in particular during the Term of Employment.
If you do not change your behavior and attitude with this complain, *sic* other complains will come to school and education office. That will make us issue another warning letter and finally we will reconsider about the contract with you.
« Last Edit: July 23, 2013, 08:55:47 am by anna.rpo »


Re: Couchsurfing seen as slutty by Koreans
« Reply #1 on: July 23, 2013, 06:42:03 am »
As unfortunate as it is, the school is allowed to voice this concern.  The parents have a terribly large influence over schools (less so in public), but still influential.  If you're interested in maintaining a good relationship with your school, not getting the evil eye from parents on the street, you probably would want to stop. 

Also, you must have a good co-teacher, because his/her explanation is pretty thorough and explains the situation pretty well.  If anything, at least be appreciative of the fact that you were communicated to about the situation, rather than finding out at renewal time that you had a warning against you.


  • Taniwha
  • Veteran

    • 103

    • March 06, 2011, 10:39:02 pm
    • Yongin
Re: Couchsurfing seen as slutty by Koreans
« Reply #2 on: July 23, 2013, 06:42:38 am »
Sorry but i actually laughed out loud when i read this. I have never heard this as a complaint before and i find it totally Korean and totally ridiculous. I don't have any constuctive feedback for you, but if you wanna argue that it is an invasion of privacy (which it obviously is) then you will probably lose because its Korea and Korean logic will win. Good Luck.


  • money55
  • Super Waygook

    • 277

    • July 05, 2011, 02:12:38 pm
    • south korea
Re: Couchsurfing seen as slutty by Koreans
« Reply #3 on: July 23, 2013, 07:03:08 am »
That sucks. you probably live to close to your school.  The only way to settle this is to get an allowance.


  • jimineenz
  • Adventurer

    • 33

    • July 26, 2011, 05:08:01 pm
    • christchurch/jeonju
Re: Couchsurfing seen as slutty by Koreans
« Reply #4 on: July 23, 2013, 07:15:12 am »
that is terrible!!! kind of funny though!!

I am a couchsurfer too - did you try to explain the concept? or did you not get a chance?
« Last Edit: July 23, 2013, 07:24:04 am by justanotherwaygook »


  • sethdmason
  • Waygookin

    • 17

    • September 05, 2011, 12:01:39 am
    • Gwangyang
Re: Couchsurfing seen as slutty by Koreans
« Reply #5 on: July 23, 2013, 07:16:07 am »
That's insane.
The best option maybe to change your settings on couchsurfing to hosting females only. You could let your school know that in the future only females could visit. You'd still get to host travelers without upsetting all of the idiots around you.

Or, like money said, demand an allowance. Although, that would certainly make renewal unlikely.


  • gtrain83
  • Hero of Waygookistan

    • 1756

    • August 27, 2011, 10:26:20 am
Re: Couchsurfing seen as slutty by Koreans
« Reply #6 on: July 23, 2013, 07:17:01 am »
Whore houses every 10 feet....thus their opinion is invalid. Oh wait they don't use sound reasoning and logic here. My mistake.....sorry OP for your situation.

Though, Id love an explanation like that. If I hear its the rule one more time with no details or actual rule citing or who made said rule I am going to snap.


  • C.Dennis
  • Super Waygook

    • 480

    • April 28, 2010, 12:22:24 pm
    • Wando, Korea
Re: Couchsurfing seen as slutty by Koreans
« Reply #7 on: July 23, 2013, 07:17:06 am »
If you are *really* committed to being a couchsurfing hostess, you might get your VP, Co-Teacher and the person/s who filed the complaint together and first explain couchsurfing in excruciating detail. Do not mention your situation or the complaint while explaining, just explain the concept of couchsurfing.


Next, after they've thoroughly understood couchsurfing, tell them you enjoy hosting 'new friends' you meet through being a couchsurfing host. Tell them that you 'understand' how it could look bad with lots of men entering and leaving your apartment (bite back comments or insinuation about spying, privacy, teaching kids about hookers and assumptions) and ask if they would be comfortable if you made your couchsurfing spot a women-only endeavour.


If they agree, yay. If they don't, or express reservations, then just drop it and don't be a host.


Of course, this all assumes there was a real complaint and the school/VP isn't just making up a nosey neighbor in order to dissuade you from hosting anonymous strangers in their apartment all the time.


Re: Couchsurfing seen as slutty by Koreans
« Reply #8 on: July 23, 2013, 07:23:27 am »
Yes, for westerners, this looks really ridiculous, but you're not living in a western country.  Yes, it's hypocritical of them and yes it's none of their business but if they're warning you now about it, I'd heed their warning if I wanted to keep the job. 

It doesn't matter what you think is right or wrong.  Yes, it's hypocritical and none of their business, but it's what the school and/or the parents think.

So I don't know why all these other teachers are up in arms about it.


  • bird212
  • Super Waygook

    • 428

    • May 05, 2013, 01:25:37 am
    • United States
Re: Couchsurfing seen as slutty by Koreans
« Reply #9 on: July 23, 2013, 08:02:38 am »
I think you should try explaining the concept of couchsurfing to them, however I think some people are right in that it's just their culture.

Something I learned doing my undergrad in education is a teacher's role in society and how much a society might look at or judge what teachers do, because they are expected to be superior role models AND be responsible/care for our children.  It's a tough job and I know that even in the US teachers are held up to pretty high standards as well (though we do have more privacy).  It sounds like this situation stemmed from a combination of what I just mentioned and cultural norms that Koreans have set for themselves.  Try to explain to them, but in the end sometimes in these situations you just have to accept this is their culture that you're living in and try to make some compromise without getting too upset.  Sucks they are raining on your parade though!  Hopefully it will be satisfactory to both parties to host females only.  Good luck!
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  • Hoosier_Jedi
  • Expert Waygook

    • 859

    • April 08, 2011, 01:56:38 pm
    • Icheon
    more
Re: Couchsurfing seen as slutty by Koreans
« Reply #10 on: July 23, 2013, 08:10:19 am »
I'd say the kicker is do you want to stick around this school. If yes, then switch over to only allowing female guests. If you're planning on going home soon then do what you want.


  • thunderlips
  • Hero of Waygookistan

    • 1720

    • June 07, 2012, 10:01:55 am
    • South Korea
Re: Couchsurfing seen as slutty by Koreans
« Reply #11 on: July 23, 2013, 08:14:54 am »
Yeah definitely hypocritical and unfortunate, BUT they do own the apartment. Their rules.


Re: Couchsurfing seen as slutty by Koreans
« Reply #12 on: July 23, 2013, 08:27:46 am »
It's also the apartment building owner's concern.  While there are many brothels in Korea, his/her building is not, and she likely does not want it seen as one.  That's not her being hypocritical, that's her preserving the good name of the apartment she has spent a considerable amount of time and money to build. 

Also, couchsurfing is just nasty yo.  Dangerous too.  Weirds me out how ppl wanna live like they homeless.  Have some dignity. 


  • climber
  • Super Waygook

    • 270

    • January 02, 2011, 06:52:36 pm
    • Ilsan
Re: Couchsurfing seen as slutty by Koreans
« Reply #13 on: July 23, 2013, 08:32:32 am »
To those of you suggesting explaining couchsurfing, please reread the original post. Couchsurfing was already explained to the school administration. They understand, but still think it is unacceptable. Also, the contract she signed agreed to have the school provide the housing. Plus, the school usually has to sign a year lease on an apartment, and they can't break that contract without paying a hefty fine. So, she can't move out until next year unless she wants to pay for it herself.

OP, I think only hosting women is a good idea, but if you would like to continue hosting men, I suggest telling you school beforehand that you have family staying with you. For example, your cousin.

Also, get the name of your school off this thread!


  • btpham13
  • Expert Waygook

    • 509

    • February 28, 2011, 11:02:04 am
    • Korea
Re: Couchsurfing seen as slutty by Koreans
« Reply #14 on: July 23, 2013, 08:48:49 am »
It's also the apartment building owner's concern.  While there are many brothels in Korea, his/her building is not, and she likely does not want it seen as one.  That's not her being hypocritical, that's her preserving the good name of the apartment she has spent a considerable amount of time and money to build. 

Also, couchsurfing is just nasty yo.  Dangerous too. Weirds me out how ppl wanna live like they homeless.  Have some dignity.

A creeper's job has never been easier.


Re: Couchsurfing seen as slutty by Koreans
« Reply #15 on: July 23, 2013, 08:53:13 am »
The letter did say that the principal etc. understand what Couchsurfing is but it's the way it looks to parents living around you that has caused problems. Which is understandable, I think. Your neighbors don't know what you're doing, so to them having lots of different men coming in and out of your apartment all the time looks bad. I don't think it's a strange complaint... just an unfortunate one. I would also go the females only route.


  • Burndog
  • Super Waygook

    • 418

    • July 16, 2010, 11:49:17 am
    • Suwon
Re: Couchsurfing seen as slutty by Koreans
« Reply #16 on: July 23, 2013, 08:55:26 am »
Also, get the name of your school off this thread!

THIS.


  • anna.rpo
  • Hero of Waygookistan

    • 1148

    • October 07, 2010, 12:06:56 pm
    • Jecheon
Re: Couchsurfing seen as slutty by Koreans
« Reply #17 on: July 23, 2013, 08:58:20 am »
Also, get the name of your school off this thread!

THIS.

Done. Thanks for the notification.

OP, I agree with what many others have been saying - host women only, or stop couchsurfing - unless it's more important to you than keeping your job.
http://karoritokorea.blogspot.com/

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  • defpunk
  • Adventurer

    • 28

    • March 28, 2013, 09:21:51 am
Re: Couchsurfing seen as slutty by Koreans
« Reply #18 on: July 23, 2013, 09:09:37 am »
It is not insane at all and it does not matter if they are just "male couch surfers". What does the OP expect!  The fact is you have random men staying at your house near your school.  Even in western countries this would raise some eyebrows.  You are also technically a "civil servant" and paid by the government using the school's apartment.  We already have an uphill battle being foreign since Koreans will notice every small thing we do! Stop whining and change the situation. Don't think "I should make a thread on waygook about this so I can feel better about having other foreigners agree with me." come on.....


  • Grimne_Lothos
  • Expert Waygook

    • 846

    • December 28, 2011, 12:56:27 pm
    • Buyeo, south korea
Re: Couchsurfing seen as slutty by Koreans
« Reply #19 on: July 23, 2013, 09:14:48 am »
considering all the threads from people worried about living with their bf/gf in school provided housing I think any reasonable person would have known that this would be a problem.

For that matter, as a Westerner I consider this slutty/inappropriate behavior
« Last Edit: July 23, 2013, 09:17:23 am by Grimne_Lothos »