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Author Topic: RANTING/VENTING MEGATHREAD 3.0  (Read 1170489 times)

Offline HaLo3

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Re: RANTING/VENTING MEGATHREAD 3.0
« Reply #2060 on: October 26, 2016, 03:48:51 PM »
Death of a friendship = planning a vacation together.

I was supposed to go on vacation with a friend. She really wanted to travel and she was saying that her family and friends don't like travelling with her but she didn't want to travel alone so she suggested we travel together. 
Now, I need a visa, she doesn't. The earliest I can apply for my visa is in November. I told her this, she said she was fine with it. But ever since May, 3x a month, I've had to tell her, again, why I still haven't applied for my visa.
I can bear repeating the same thing over and over again. What gets my goat, is that in July she spoke to a coworker of hers who told her I was being lazy and I was a liar and I could get my visa any time I wanted. She calls me, gleefully tells me what her coworker says and says she agrees with him because he travels all around the world and he knows so much and then calls me lazy and a liar (never mind that he and I are different nationalities which means our visa requirements aren't the same).
Nope, I showed her all the documentation, she wanted to know why I hadn't bothered to tell her about my visa before. Things calmed down and we went back to her asking me 3x a month if I had my visa yet.
This month she freaked out completely and started yelling at me that I still didn't have my visa and her coworker told her that I was lying. She shouted and called me lazy and a liar, again, so I told her I'd had it and I was out of the vacation. Her language got really colorful so I politely ended the call.

I've now deeply and mortally offended her because I'm younger than her and I was the one who cancelled the trip - I have no right to cancel anything, only she can and she still wanted to go. I also ended the call first because she was merely screaming at me. Only the person who is older can end the phone call. And if someone older than you is yelling at you? You have to accept it.

Ah, no.

So many signs... I hate it when I'm oblivious (my first word choice was stupid).

Friend? How was she ever a friend? Sounds like an absolute lunatic. Imagine traveling with her.

My wife forgot her passport for our honeymoon (luckily we were at the train station and not the airport when she noticed). I got the blame. That was a good start to the marriage. The mother in law said it was my fault and I laughed in her face. I ain't got time for that sort of shit.
How did they get to that point? You're the man and need to take care of all your wife's responsibility? People forget passports, its a fairly common mistake. No reason to point the blame (especially as an outside party, like the MIL).

donovan

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Re: RANTING/VENTING MEGATHREAD 3.0
« Reply #2061 on: October 27, 2016, 07:44:17 AM »
Death of a friendship = planning a vacation together.

I was supposed to go on vacation with a friend. She really wanted to travel and she was saying that her family and friends don't like travelling with her but she didn't want to travel alone so she suggested we travel together. 
Now, I need a visa, she doesn't. The earliest I can apply for my visa is in November. I told her this, she said she was fine with it. But ever since May, 3x a month, I've had to tell her, again, why I still haven't applied for my visa.
I can bear repeating the same thing over and over again. What gets my goat, is that in July she spoke to a coworker of hers who told her I was being lazy and I was a liar and I could get my visa any time I wanted. She calls me, gleefully tells me what her coworker says and says she agrees with him because he travels all around the world and he knows so much and then calls me lazy and a liar (never mind that he and I are different nationalities which means our visa requirements aren't the same).
Nope, I showed her all the documentation, she wanted to know why I hadn't bothered to tell her about my visa before. Things calmed down and we went back to her asking me 3x a month if I had my visa yet.
This month she freaked out completely and started yelling at me that I still didn't have my visa and her coworker told her that I was lying. She shouted and called me lazy and a liar, again, so I told her I'd had it and I was out of the vacation. Her language got really colorful so I politely ended the call.

I've now deeply and mortally offended her because I'm younger than her and I was the one who cancelled the trip - I have no right to cancel anything, only she can and she still wanted to go. I also ended the call first because she was merely screaming at me. Only the person who is older can end the phone call. And if someone older than you is yelling at you? You have to accept it.

Ah, no.

So many signs... I hate it when I'm oblivious (my first word choice was stupid).

What nationality is your friend, out of curiosity?

Offline moonbrie

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Re: RANTING/VENTING MEGATHREAD 3.0
« Reply #2062 on: October 27, 2016, 08:04:33 AM »
I think my boss teacher definitely (not so) secretly hates me. Whenever I do anything wrong (or just something she doesn't like) she always says "everyone saw [whatever]"

Last week when we had that fight, I don't remember if I wrote here, but she kept saying at one point "Everyone sees you" and I asked what that meant and she just repeated herself "Everyone sees you everyday" I said something like, ok, I'm sorry that no one likes me, and she said that wasn't what she meant

(On my mind because she got upset at me for something today and went on about how "everyone saw")
I'm curious as well, what that could possibly mean. Is this the same one who you had the big argument with?

Always. I almost never have a problem with anyone other than her. On the one or two occasions I had a problem with any of my other cots we just talked it out calmly and clearly like adults.

I really appreciate everyone's kind words. Lately I've been starting to wonder if actually I'm just intolerable and she's the only one who will say so. I know I'm not perfect and I'm young and inexperienced but I like to think I'm not a complete fuckup.

(Also whoever it was that suggested I say "everyone sees you too" .... imagining the look on her face gave me a good laugh haha. I don't want to rock the boat anymore than I do by existing though)

Offline DMZabductee

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Re: RANTING/VENTING MEGATHREAD 3.0
« Reply #2063 on: October 27, 2016, 09:45:09 AM »
I'm a fairly new public school teacher (2 months), and due to some schedule changes I had to teach a 6th grade class without my coteacher last week. This was the first time that I taught without a coteacher in the classroom.

Things were going well until the end of class, when two boys got in a fight during a group activity. I didn't realize how serious it was until one of the boys started punching the other one in the head. I immediately yelled and stepped in between them. I took them in the hallway and rambled at them in English for a minute or two, then brought them back in and continued class. As soon as class was over, one of the boys ran away but I took the other to their homeroom teacher to explain what happened.

Fast forward to the next day, and my coteacher asks me to tell her what happened. I explained the situation to her, and to my surprise she seemed upset with me! She said that because of my contract, I shouldn't be teaching alone and that one of the students parents could call and get us in trouble. She also insinuated that it was my fault, for not keeping the class under control.

Since that incident, she hasn't apologized for leaving me in that situation, and has been especially cold and distant from me.

It was stressful enough to have to break up a fight on my first lesson alone, and now my coteacher is just adding to my stress by treating me like I can't handle leading the class. (I lead every other grade by myself, so I don't think that is the problem.)

Has anyone else dealt with a situation like this? Feeling very frustrated!

Sounds like you did nothing "wrong" except you caused your CT to lose face when it came out that she wasn't in your class. CTs are supposed to be in the room with you. Everyone knows that.

The 6th grade class' homeroom teacher probably brought it up to your CT who then lost face. Now she's embarrassed but is taking it out on you passive-aggressively as you're lowest on the hierarchy.

Sucks, but that's how it goes here. Just keep doing your best and if a situation like this comes up again, talk to the CT first before involving anyone else.

Online zola

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Re: RANTING/VENTING MEGATHREAD 3.0
« Reply #2064 on: October 27, 2016, 09:48:18 AM »
It's one of the oldest tricks in the book that Korean females have down to a science. They make a mistake, do something wrong, cause a problem and they get angry at YOU. My wife used to be a master at it. Also experienced it with co-workers. Completely fark something up, get called out and turn around and get angry at the person who called them out. Deflection in it's finest form.
Kpip! - Martin 2018

Online Kayos

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Re: RANTING/VENTING MEGATHREAD 3.0
« Reply #2065 on: October 27, 2016, 10:35:07 AM »
I think my boss teacher definitely (not so) secretly hates me. Whenever I do anything wrong (or just something she doesn't like) she always says "everyone saw [whatever]"

Last week when we had that fight, I don't remember if I wrote here, but she kept saying at one point "Everyone sees you" and I asked what that meant and she just repeated herself "Everyone sees you everyday" I said something like, ok, I'm sorry that no one likes me, and she said that wasn't what she meant

(On my mind because she got upset at me for something today and went on about how "everyone saw")
I'm curious as well, what that could possibly mean. Is this the same one who you had the big argument with?

Always. I almost never have a problem with anyone other than her. On the one or two occasions I had a problem with any of my other cots we just talked it out calmly and clearly like adults.

I really appreciate everyone's kind words. Lately I've been starting to wonder if actually I'm just intolerable and she's the only one who will say so. I know I'm not perfect and I'm young and inexperienced but I like to think I'm not a complete fuckup.

(Also whoever it was that suggested I say "everyone sees you too" .... imagining the look on her face gave me a good laugh haha. I don't want to rock the boat anymore than I do by existing though)

Glad I was able to give you a laugh. :D My reasoning was: if you don't understand because of a lack of context, take it at face value - everyone sees you. Well, everyone sees you too; we are in an office / school. Everyone sees everyone. :P
Maybe saying it like that, with the office / school bit will give you some context. :P

But don't let it get you down, champ!

Offline moonbrie

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Re: RANTING/VENTING MEGATHREAD 3.0
« Reply #2066 on: October 27, 2016, 10:44:31 AM »
I think my boss teacher definitely (not so) secretly hates me. Whenever I do anything wrong (or just something she doesn't like) she always says "everyone saw [whatever]"

Last week when we had that fight, I don't remember if I wrote here, but she kept saying at one point "Everyone sees you" and I asked what that meant and she just repeated herself "Everyone sees you everyday" I said something like, ok, I'm sorry that no one likes me, and she said that wasn't what she meant

(On my mind because she got upset at me for something today and went on about how "everyone saw")
I'm curious as well, what that could possibly mean. Is this the same one who you had the big argument with?

Always. I almost never have a problem with anyone other than her. On the one or two occasions I had a problem with any of my other cots we just talked it out calmly and clearly like adults.

I really appreciate everyone's kind words. Lately I've been starting to wonder if actually I'm just intolerable and she's the only one who will say so. I know I'm not perfect and I'm young and inexperienced but I like to think I'm not a complete fuckup.

(Also whoever it was that suggested I say "everyone sees you too" .... imagining the look on her face gave me a good laugh haha. I don't want to rock the boat anymore than I do by existing though)

Glad I was able to give you a laugh. :D My reasoning was: if you don't understand because of a lack of context, take it at face value - everyone sees you. Well, everyone sees you too; we are in an office / school. Everyone sees everyone. :P
Maybe saying it like that, with the office / school bit will give you some context. :P

But don't let it get you down, champ!

Thanks. After next week, I won't have any more textbook classes to teach with her at least. Not that she won't still hassle me about things like bread and coffee but at least she won't be hassling me about how I do my job (since she's generally loved my non-textbook classes in the past)

Offline yirgacheffe

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Re: RANTING/VENTING MEGATHREAD 3.0
« Reply #2067 on: October 27, 2016, 10:48:02 AM »
After next week, I won't have any more textbook classes to teach with her at least. Not that she won't still hassle me about things like bread and coffee but at least she won't be hassling me about how I do my job (since she's generally loved my non-textbook classes in the past)

I hope things will get less stressful, then, in the coming weeks. :azn: Also, now I want bread and coffee. Damn you. :evil:

Offline moonbrie

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Re: RANTING/VENTING MEGATHREAD 3.0
« Reply #2068 on: October 27, 2016, 10:53:08 AM »
After next week, I won't have any more textbook classes to teach with her at least. Not that she won't still hassle me about things like bread and coffee but at least she won't be hassling me about how I do my job (since she's generally loved my non-textbook classes in the past)

I hope things will get less stressful, then, in the coming weeks. :azn: Also, now I want bread and coffee. Damn you. :evil:

We have some surprisingly tasty cheese/cranberry/sesame bread in the office today

donovan

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Re: RANTING/VENTING MEGATHREAD 3.0
« Reply #2069 on: October 27, 2016, 11:20:19 AM »
It's one of the oldest tricks in the book that Korean females have down to a science. They make a mistake, do something wrong, cause a problem and they get angry at YOU. My wife used to be a master at it. Also experienced it with co-workers. Completely fark something up, get called out and turn around and get angry at the person who called them out. Deflection in it's finest form.

Now a used-to-be wife or no longer a master?

Online zola

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Re: RANTING/VENTING MEGATHREAD 3.0
« Reply #2070 on: October 27, 2016, 11:53:01 AM »
It's one of the oldest tricks in the book that Korean females have down to a science. They make a mistake, do something wrong, cause a problem and they get angry at YOU. My wife used to be a master at it. Also experienced it with co-workers. Completely fark something up, get called out and turn around and get angry at the person who called them out. Deflection in it's finest form.

Now a used-to-be wife or no longer a master?
It was the one thing that pissed me off the most, so after she denied she did it for a while, she accepted that it did happen and she would try hard not to do it anymore. And she has been true to her word.
In return I promised I would try to swear less while driving together. That's been a harder promise to keep.
Kpip! - Martin 2018

Online Mr.DeMartino

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Re: RANTING/VENTING MEGATHREAD 3.0
« Reply #2071 on: October 31, 2016, 06:44:54 AM »
It's one of the oldest tricks in the book that Korean females have down to a science. They make a mistake, do something wrong, cause a problem and they get angry at YOU. My wife used to be a master at it. Also experienced it with co-workers. Completely fark something up, get called out and turn around and get angry at the person who called them out. Deflection in it's finest form.

Is it just Korean women? Because my exboyfriend (Korean) was really good at that too. At first I didn't even realize he was doing it, but when I did I felt totally manipulated  >:(

That's every bad bf/gf around the world.  They seem always follow the same pattern. Even outside relationships look at the posts about work or whatever here that have the phrase "I know I was kind of in the wrong/being a jerk BUT..."

Offline moonbrie

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Re: RANTING/VENTING MEGATHREAD 3.0
« Reply #2072 on: October 31, 2016, 07:48:45 AM »
Drank a lot last night after receiving news of a family friend's death, woke up still dizzy with my stomach feeling like crap. I have 5 classes to teach today.

 :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry:

Online zola

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Re: RANTING/VENTING MEGATHREAD 3.0
« Reply #2073 on: October 31, 2016, 08:53:09 AM »
It's one of the oldest tricks in the book that Korean females have down to a science. They make a mistake, do something wrong, cause a problem and they get angry at YOU. My wife used to be a master at it. Also experienced it with co-workers. Completely fark something up, get called out and turn around and get angry at the person who called them out. Deflection in it's finest form.

Is it just Korean women? Because my exboyfriend (Korean) was really good at that too. At first I didn't even realize he was doing it, but when I did I felt totally manipulated  >:(

That's every bad bf/gf around the world.  They seem always follow the same pattern. Even outside relationships look at the posts about work or whatever here that have the phrase "I know I was kind of in the wrong/being a jerk BUT..."

It's different from the "Yes, but..." Everyone does that at some point.

What I'm talking about is the sudden attack when in the wrong. Not a modicum of acceptance anything wrong was done wrong, just a full frontal bombardment.
Kpip! - Martin 2018

Offline yirj17

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Re: RANTING/VENTING MEGATHREAD 3.0
« Reply #2074 on: October 31, 2016, 09:44:08 AM »
I wish I taught my elem. classes by myself.

My coT is like a child sometimes-- except the children all know that if you touch the touch-screen, it's gonna move to the next slide... how can you act surprised every time when you just did it three times in a row??

What should have been a brief 5 minute ppt presentation before moving on to activities took almost more than double the estimated time because coT felt the need to interject tons of Korean after nearly everything. How do the kids learn any English when the coT is constantly talking in Korean all the time?  >:( For crying out loud, every kid I have knows how to count at least to 10 in English! We did a pumpkin paper craft and I had them number the pieces of paper to make it easier to give instructions and coT felt the need to interject and translate numbers. We only went from 1 - 8.  >:( >:(

YoungMin

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Re: RANTING/VENTING MEGATHREAD 3.0
« Reply #2075 on: October 31, 2016, 10:37:14 AM »
I wish I taught my elem. classes by myself.

My coT is like a child sometimes-- except the children all know that if you touch the touch-screen, it's gonna move to the next slide... how can you act surprised every time when you just did it three times in a row??

What should have been a brief 5 minute ppt presentation before moving on to activities took almost more than double the estimated time because coT felt the need to interject tons of Korean after nearly everything. How do the kids learn any English when the coT is constantly talking in Korean all the time?  >:( For crying out loud, every kid I have knows how to count at least to 10 in English! We did a pumpkin paper craft and I had them number the pieces of paper to make it easier to give instructions and coT felt the need to interject and translate numbers. We only went from 1 - 8.  >:( >:(

I had an online class and I'd ask the students a question and the Korean teacher sitting in the room with them would tell them answer every time. Poor kids.

Online CO2

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Re: RANTING/VENTING MEGATHREAD 3.0
« Reply #2076 on: October 31, 2016, 11:41:12 AM »
Shot myself in the foot.

I went out with the principal and 2 of her temple friends for all you can drink makgeolli on Thursday. Great. Her friend keeps talking about her 27 yr old son and how I should meet him. (You know where this is going). I should teach him English.

I don't do this. I won't do it on a weekday, I've already worked 8 hours. I won't do it on the weekend, these days are sacred to me. So I always use the "I'm not allowed to do it because of my E-Visa. I can only have one job with this situation." WORKS EVERY TIME.

Not this time. "Oh! Okay. You can do it for free!"

 :sad:  :huh:  :cry:  >:(

FUUUUUUUUUUU

"Yes! I will make you both dinner!"

FFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU WHAT HAVE I DONE?

Yes, to dance beneath the diamond sky
With one hand waving free

YoungMin

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Re: RANTING/VENTING MEGATHREAD 3.0
« Reply #2077 on: October 31, 2016, 11:49:36 AM »
Shot myself in the foot.

I went out with the principal and 2 of her temple friends for all you can drink makgeolli on Thursday. Great. Her friend keeps talking about her 27 yr old son and how I should meet him. (You know where this is going). I should teach him English.

I don't do this. I won't do it on a weekday, I've already worked 8 hours. I won't do it on the weekend, these days are sacred to me. So I always use the "I'm not allowed to do it because of my E-Visa. I can only have one job with this situation." WORKS EVERY TIME.

Not this time. "Oh! Okay. You can do it for free!"

 :sad:  :huh:  :cry:  >:(

FUUUUUUUUUUU

"Yes! I will make you both dinner!"

FFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU WHAT HAVE I DONE?

Hahaha. Classic. I can arrange a 'hit' for a small fee.

Online zola

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Re: RANTING/VENTING MEGATHREAD 3.0
« Reply #2078 on: October 31, 2016, 11:54:04 AM »
Shot myself in the foot.

I went out with the principal and 2 of her temple friends for all you can drink makgeolli on Thursday. Great. Her friend keeps talking about her 27 yr old son and how I should meet him. (You know where this is going). I should teach him English.

I don't do this. I won't do it on a weekday, I've already worked 8 hours. I won't do it on the weekend, these days are sacred to me. So I always use the "I'm not allowed to do it because of my E-Visa. I can only have one job with this situation." WORKS EVERY TIME.

Not this time. "Oh! Okay. You can do it for free!"

 :sad:  :huh:  :cry:  >:(

FUUUUUUUUUUU

"Yes! I will make you both dinner!"

FFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU WHAT HAVE I DONE?
This is why avoid these kinds of socializing events with Koreans over a certain age. It leads to one ****** thing.
Kpip! - Martin 2018

Online Mr.DeMartino

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Re: RANTING/VENTING MEGATHREAD 3.0
« Reply #2079 on: October 31, 2016, 11:56:52 AM »
We need a goon squad for stuff like this. The van would pull up and we'd make the son an offer he can't refuse to drop the whole English thing. Could solve other problems too, ranging from smokers in non-smoking apartments to getting overdue salary from shady hagwon owners.