January 22, 2019, 02:31:15 PM


Author Topic: The hilarious things students say to you....  (Read 288981 times)

Online Mr C

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #860 on: October 14, 2015, 11:58:18 AM »
Today I was chatting with students about their dream jobs as an intro to the "Jobs: Old and New" lesson...

Me: So what's your dream job?
Student: I want to be a CEO! (just like the previous 5 students)
Me: Uh, cool. So. What's a CEO?
Student: *deep thinking*  Cheese Elephant Officer!
Me: Points for effort, kiddo.

Actually, I was very surprised when several other students were able to actually give me the correct answer...
Mmmm ... Cheese elephants!
/Homer

Offline jaysoon17

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Tell Me Funny L/R, B/P, J/Z Sentences Your Student Said
« Reply #861 on: December 09, 2015, 10:41:49 AM »
Do you have any funny sentences that one of your students wrote or said due to mispronunciation of letters or spelling?

A student told me the other day, "Teacher, I have a picture of me in a towel. Wait..." I told him that I don't want to see that, and he didn't understand why.

If he had said, "tower," then I would have been fine....pronunciation is important in cases like these.

Offline Zaiterade

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Re: Tell Me Funny L/R, B/P, J/Z Sentences Your Student Said
« Reply #862 on: December 09, 2015, 11:48:55 AM »
Zookeeper/Jewkeeper is my favorite so far.

Offline rltraylor59

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Re: Tell Me Funny L/R, B/P, J/Z Sentences Your Student Said
« Reply #863 on: December 09, 2015, 12:03:04 PM »
Coteacher: How do you spell crap??
Me: C-c-crap? Why?
Coteacher: This student went on vacation and he ate crap.
Me: Umm...
Coteacher: You know, crap. Like lobster.
Me: I think you mean "crab".

This has happened on multiple occasions.  :laugh: :laugh:

Online CO2

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Re: Tell Me Funny L/R, B/P, J/Z Sentences Your Student Said
« Reply #864 on: December 09, 2015, 12:05:36 PM »
Zookeeper/Jewkeeper is my favorite so far.

Mine is similar. I asked my kids what they would do with a million doallrs.

"Teacher, I would build a Megajew."

 :rolleyes:

One more for good measure. I asked my kids to do a speaking assignment on how to make friends if you moved to a new school. My boy student got up and told the class that he would write Lesbian letters to all the girls at the school.

I'd only been here 3 or 4 months so I was blown away. WTF? How is this possible. So, the boy finishes his speech and goes to sit down. I ask him, "Do people really write Lesbian letters here????"


"TEACHER! LET'S BE FRIENDS LETTERS, LET'S BE FRIENDS LETTERS!"
Yes, to dance beneath the diamond sky
With one hand waving free

Offline kzcl

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Re: Tell Me Funny L/R, B/P, J/Z Sentences Your Student Said
« Reply #865 on: December 09, 2015, 03:20:16 PM »
Not exactly L/R etc but I've gotten some pretty classic pronunciation issues I love
Coteacher - "are you drinking a cock?"
"a what?"
"a cock?"
"oh! Yes, a Coke."

For some reason my kids think "beach" is "bit*h" so I have one kid that gets hysterical and rowdy when someone says "I went to the beach" which doesn't even make sense.

On the flip side - my kids know about the drink "Sex on the Beach" so someone did grafitti on my desk "Sex on the Bit*h" which I loved.

For some reason none of my kids can say "snack" so it comes out "snake"
"After school I ate a snake"
 "Did you?!"

And it took me about a year to figure out Chombees. "teacher Chombies! Chombeeeeeesss!"
"huh?"
"You know, Chombies, brainnnsss!"
I still didn't get it until my coteacher pulled up a picture.

Lastly dog comes out duck a lot more than I think it should.
"Teacher, I have a duck"
"You do?!"
"Yeah, he is very furry."
"Those are feathers."
"Feathers? Dog teacher, dog, KANG! KANG! KANG! KANG!" (barking sound, apparently)

Online JNM

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Re: Tell Me Funny L/R, B/P, J/Z Sentences Your Student Said
« Reply #866 on: December 09, 2015, 03:28:06 PM »

Lastly dog comes out duck a lot more than I think it should.


I always clarify when asked to lunch...

Ori-tang or Boshin-tang?

 ;D

Offline nick2012

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Re: Tell Me Funny L/R, B/P, J/Z Sentences Your Student Said
« Reply #867 on: December 09, 2015, 03:30:58 PM »
From a co-teacher a while back:

Coteacher: You don't have to come to school tomorrow, everybody has the day off.
Me: Why?
Coteacher: Because it's national erection day. We need tomorrow off to vote in the national erection.
Me: Oh... I see!

Online CO2

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Re: Tell Me Funny L/R, B/P, J/Z Sentences Your Student Said
« Reply #868 on: December 09, 2015, 03:36:33 PM »
From a co-teacher a while back:

Coteacher: You don't have to come to school tomorrow, everybody has the day off.
Me: Why?
Coteacher: Because it's national erection day. We need tomorrow off to vote in the national erection.
Me: Oh... I see!

Oh man, not to one up you or anything but you jogged something loose in my brain.

I did conversational adult sessions for a few months. Enter Mr. Park. 55 year old Journalist.

Park: CO2, my erection is coming up!
Me: WHAT???
Park: My erection.......... very big!
Mr. Lee (my other student): At City Hall, maybe new mayor.
Me: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Yes, to dance beneath the diamond sky
With one hand waving free

Online shostager

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Re: Tell Me Funny L/R, B/P, J/Z Sentences Your Student Said
« Reply #869 on: December 09, 2015, 03:47:10 PM »
I got the snake/snack thing too, although in my situation, the "snake" choice was quite believable.

(Student takes a white circle out of a package I don't see to offer to me): Teacher, snake!
Me: Snake?
S: Yes, teacher. Chinese food. Snake! (holds out circle)
Me: (well, they eat other stuff there, why not...dried snake!) Sure.

I proceed to eat it while student and friends watch with too much interest for a normal snack. It tastes kind of strange.

S: Teacher, is it delicious?
Me: It's okay. (Looks at them suspiciously.) 뱀 (snake)?
S: NO teacher! Snake, snake! 관식 (snack).
Me: Well, that's good.

Online oglop

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Re: Tell Me Funny L/R, B/P, J/Z Sentences Your Student Said
« Reply #870 on: December 09, 2015, 05:36:12 PM »
teaching ways to talk about the future...

me: what's negative of 'will'?
student: won't
me. great! what's negative of 'might'?
student: mon't

 ;D

nespeaker

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Re: Tell Me Funny L/R, B/P, J/Z Sentences Your Student Said
« Reply #871 on: December 10, 2015, 05:07:12 AM »
My favorite food is lice.

My 6th graders yesterday were grooming each other during class by picking at each other's heads. I ask, "hey, what are you girls doing there?"

"Teacher, teacher, GoEun has rice...many rice!"

WTF are you doing in my class then?!!!

Offline gagevt

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Re: Tell Me Funny L/R, B/P, J/Z Sentences Your Student Said
« Reply #872 on: December 10, 2015, 07:40:38 AM »
Some of these are pretty funny. I've alwats heard the Jewkeeper one, but it's a lot funnier reading it here.

My favorite is: "Teacher boobie! Let's watch boobie!!!"
"Uhhhhh."
"The man who passes the sentence should swing the sword."

Online Mr C

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Re: Tell Me Funny L/R, B/P, J/Z Sentences Your Student Said
« Reply #873 on: December 10, 2015, 07:51:07 AM »
In a high school lesson on favorite foods, one student wrote that he likes "folk lips".

This was during my first year, so I was a bit nonplussed.  Today, of course, I would instantly recognise that as "pork ribs".

Offline Inge1415

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Re: Tell Me Funny L/R, B/P, J/Z Sentences Your Student Said
« Reply #874 on: December 10, 2015, 07:54:19 AM »
S: " Teacher, do you like the bitch?"
me: "Do I like the what?"
S: "The bitch....the she.......Ocean!"
me: "Ohhhhh the beaaaccchhhhhhh"

Offline TeresaD

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #875 on: January 08, 2016, 10:55:31 AM »
I was reviewing the words for body parts with my Grade 3s yesterday. Ensuring they knew which body parts were which I asked them to point the parts out for me.

Me: "Show me your neck! Show me your legs!"
Student: "Show me the money!"
"In the midst of winter, I found there was, within me, an invincible summer" - Albert Camus

Offline lifeisgood6447

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #876 on: January 08, 2016, 11:49:13 AM »
This was about an hour ago. (middle school 1st grade girl. Super good kid throughout the year, and pretty quiet in nature)

We were playing Scattegories

Category: Some you find in the refrigerator that starts with B

Girl: Beer!

Next round, same girl.

Category: Some you drink that starts with K

Girl: Kloud! Cloud beer, so good teacher!

Playing the same game
Category: Something you DO in PE class.
2 girls: Teacher!
Me: No, something you DO.
2 girls: Yes, we do the PE teacher.
Me: uhhh. No, that isn't correct. *moves to next team*

Offline meepmoopimmarobots

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #877 on: January 08, 2016, 11:54:54 AM »
(Zoe is sitting hunched over and with a look of pain on her face.)

ME: Zoe? Are you okay? Are you sick?
(Zoe shakes her head no.)
ME: Do you need to go to the bathroom?
(Zoe shakes her head no.)
DIANA: Meeps! *she points at Zoe* BLOOD! LOTS AND LOTS OF BLOOD!


LANA: Which do you prefer, pad or obie?
ME: Obie?
LANA: You know, obie! *she mimes something filthy*
ME: Oh....OH. O.B. Tampons?
LANA: Yeah. I don't wanna use O.B., but I don't want Americans to think I'm weird.
ME: Too late.

Offline johnny2shoes

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #878 on: January 08, 2016, 12:07:39 PM »
My students have been begging me to get a hair cut. Admittedly I was getting a bit shaggy. So i got a cut this morning. I walked into class, thinking the kids would finally be satisfied.
Whole class in unison:AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!NOOOOOOOOOO!
Ji-min: Teacher go! Don't come back until your hair grows!!!!!

Offline nomadicmadda

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #879 on: January 08, 2016, 12:39:19 PM »
Some of my students in my art club are ordering chicken next week and invited me to join.

S: Teacher!  What kind of chicken do you like?  What style?
M: I'll eat anything really, just nothing crazy hot and spicy.
S: How about no....no...mmmmmm chicken?
M: What?
(Student slaps her arm and makes many "uhms" and "aah"'s while trying to think.)
S: Ah!  Teacher!  Do you like no bone chicken?
M: Boneless chicken?  Sure.
S: HAHA OMG NO BONE CHICKEN = BONELESS CHICKEN HAHA!

She and another kid proceed to lose it over her apparently ridiculous guess of "no bone chicken"for "boneless".  When another CT came in, she also relayed the story and her mistake and they cracked up all over again.  I don't think my CT had any idea why they found it so funny either.  High schoolers are weird. :huh: