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Author Topic: The hilarious things students say to you....  (Read 288969 times)

Offline MonsoonPepper

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #800 on: November 18, 2014, 01:27:40 PM »
ME: "I am going to Thailand."
Rosie (6): ?
ME: "Me, go, Thai."
Rosie: ...
ME: "Thailand. I go to Thai."
Rosie: "Teacher is high?"
 :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

Offline travelinpantsgirl

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #801 on: November 18, 2014, 03:22:34 PM »
(elementary)
3rd grade girl: Teacher, what is your dream?
Me: I want to be a writer. What's your dream?
3rd grade girl:I am 3rd grade. I don't know.

I kid you not, this child comes to me periodically to ask me these life/dream questions (always different). She must be learning them at her hagwon and then practicing on me, but it seems she has given no thought at all on how to ANSWER them, because every time I ask back I get, "I don't know, I am 3rd grade. " LOL
Ignoranţa este adesea o boală fatal şi cretin nu poate fi vindecata.

Offline Sean Whitton

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #802 on: November 19, 2014, 12:42:04 PM »
Grade 5 are writing bucket lists.

One has "I want to see god." on one page.  On the next: "I want to do god."

My co-teacher thinks he intended to write "I want to be god."

Edit: another: "I want to become intimate with Deft." apparently a professional LoL player.
« Last Edit: November 19, 2014, 01:14:31 PM by Sean Whitton »

Offline ohitsgary

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #803 on: November 19, 2014, 03:02:33 PM »
Bumped into my old 6th graders who are now in middle school.

Me: "Hi, how's middle school?"
Student: "It's very f**k!"
Me: "Ok... :laugh:"

Offline Space

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #804 on: November 20, 2014, 09:43:28 AM »
I'm at a Boys High School -
My one student called diapers 'magic panties', which I found pretty funny. 

Another student gave me a lemon and told me:"I love you, I need you, I want you"

It's a brand product. http://item2.gmarket.co.kr/English/detailview/item.aspx?goodscode=307046322

If I break my class into teams of two, I usually give them the names Huggies & Magic Panties.

Offline KaPow!

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #805 on: November 20, 2014, 10:41:38 AM »
I'm at a Boys High School -
My one student called diapers 'magic panties', which I found pretty funny. 

Another student gave me a lemon and told me:"I love you, I need you, I want you"

It's a brand product. http://item2.gmarket.co.kr/English/detailview/item.aspx?goodscode=307046322

If I break my class into teams of two, I usually give them the names Huggies & Magic Panties.

Aww, and I thought he was just getting creative with his limited vocabulary  :laugh:

Offline tikleme_elmo

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Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #806 on: November 20, 2014, 11:07:19 AM »
I am teaching Lesson 4, Don't Touch it (Grade 4) so instead of saying Donít touch it one of my students shouts out "Dong" touch it!

Teacher, what is sand forest?

Me: Ah! Desert! Sand forest, very smart, Yu Chan!

Offline Gaikoku.org

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #807 on: November 21, 2014, 01:46:28 PM »
*to the tune of O Canada*

O Canada~
Maple massisoyo~~~



I haven't even done an intensive job raising Canadian awareness among them but a few have picked up on the key stereotypes somehow.

Offline drgenderpotato

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #808 on: November 21, 2014, 03:46:12 PM »
Answers to "What do you want to be when you grow up?"

"A zombie!"
"A Protoss!"
"FOOD!!!!"
"I don't care because anyways I will die in future."
NOTORIOUS D.G.P.

Offline BigEaredHylian

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #809 on: December 19, 2014, 03:47:08 PM »
"Yoga is good for woman's bloody day. If you doing yoga, bloody day is not much hurt."

From an essay ~

Offline Gaikoku.org

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #810 on: December 19, 2014, 06:05:01 PM »
"wahahahahaha! You don't have a penis!"

Offline ultrafunk

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #811 on: December 19, 2014, 10:59:49 PM »
So I was teaching a group of ten year old students a lesson about fine art. These students are at a high level of English for their age. Anyway, the picture that the book used as an opening activity was "The birth of Venus" by Botitcelli.

Me: Ok. Kids what do you see? :undecided:

Female Student: I see a penis.  :angel:

Me: Next page everyone! :huh:

That was a topic I didn't want to tackle in the slightest.


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Birth_of_Venus_(Botticelli)#mediaviewer/File:Sandro_Botticelli_-_La_nascita_di_Venere_-_Google_Art_Project_-_edited.jpg

Offline BTeacher

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #812 on: December 20, 2014, 11:32:48 AM »
MS boy: "Teacher, what's hot?"

Me: "You mean, what's popular?"

MS boy: "Yes."

Me: "Hm, skateboarding? Hip-hop? Dubstep music?"

MS boy looks at me doubtfully.

Me: "I don't know, you tell me, you're the teenager!"

---

Me: "What did you do on the weekend?"

boy(6): "Play pocket pool."

Me: "You mean pocket ball, billiards?" (make motion of using a cue stick)

boy(6): "No. Pocket pool." (laughs)

Me: ok...

Offline aklimkewicz

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #813 on: December 24, 2014, 10:42:49 AM »
Me: What are you going to do on Christmas?

Middle School Student: On Christmas, I'm going to do boyfriend . . . but I'm sad, because I'm no boyfriend.
Dropbox is the BEST way to coordinate files between home and school. Click here to get it --> https://db.tt/JSMXsrdm

Offline nimrand

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #814 on: December 24, 2014, 11:04:51 AM »
I have a bright student in my 5th grade class that likes to non-challantly laugh with a punctuated ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha (sounds sort of like the Count from Sesame Street) when things go her way.

Offline Gaikoku.org

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #815 on: December 24, 2014, 11:24:21 AM »
*playing a scrambled word game about jobs*

Student: Uhhhhh taxi driver?
Teacher: No. I'll give you a hint: Obama.
Student: Oh! Taxi driver!

President. President was the job.

Offline kelsthekid

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #816 on: December 24, 2014, 11:57:50 AM »
*teaching 5th grade class about Christmas and the tradition of kissing under the mistletoe*
Most of the class- "Ew", "NO!", "Teacher, why???"
One boy- "WOW! TEACHER GOOD JOB!" *clapping and thumbs up*

Offline emwsu

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #817 on: December 24, 2014, 12:11:35 PM »
Student: Teacher, never beautiful
Me: What?!
S: Never beautiful teacher
Me: Really?! NEVER?
S: Yes teacher, I love you
Me: (huh) you mean always?
S: No, never teacher
S2: (Korean/Konglish speaking)
S: Sorry teacher, ALWAYS beautiful! I love you teacher!
Me: Thanks

This happened yesterday, I work at tech HS. Whole time student was smiling and nodding his head. So glad they still love me, even when I'm never beautiful...

Online slycordinator

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #818 on: December 24, 2014, 12:33:50 PM »
I don't remember if I posted this hear before but...

Student: Teacher. You're handsome.
Me: Thanks.
Student: Teacher. Joke. I'm not gay.
Me: Ok.

Offline kjritchhart

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #819 on: December 24, 2014, 02:11:21 PM »
This one happened not too long ago:

Students:  Teacher, today free day?!
Me:  No, not a free day.
Students:  Why?  Teacher, why?!
Smart ass Student:  It's because I don't like you.

Funny because I would always tell them "No, it isn't a free day today" and would then answer the why questions with "because I don't like you."  They are learning so well.