January 22, 2019, 03:24:39 PM


Author Topic: The hilarious things students say to you....  (Read 289001 times)

Offline jeremydc808

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #760 on: September 04, 2014, 01:59:15 PM »
Walking with my co-teacher today (She is one of those cutesy type younger teachers)

5th grader

Walking......
Student: Hey teacher (directed towards co-teacher)
Co-teacher: Hello!
Student: Are you a freak?
Co-teacher: Huh?????
Student: ARE YOU a freak?
Co-Teacher: I'm sorry. I don't understand.
Student:
 
Co-teacher:  :huh:
Me: :laugh:

Offline drgenderpotato

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #761 on: September 05, 2014, 10:38:32 AM »
COTEACHER: "What kind of person steals?" (looking for "thief")
KID: "Chinese."

Ohmygod.
NOTORIOUS D.G.P.

Offline sojuadventurer

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #762 on: September 05, 2014, 12:11:21 PM »
New kid (I literally met him the same day he said this to me):  "TEACHER!  I LOVE YOU!  I'M NOT GAY!"

Offline Gaikoku.org

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #763 on: September 05, 2014, 01:14:13 PM »
Student A: I am BJ!
Student B: His job, teacher! Internet BJ! Youtube upload!
Me: Uhhhhhh



He uploads League of Legends plays to youtube and BJ is his nickname...


Offline Jaelen

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #764 on: September 05, 2014, 03:33:03 PM »
Not so much something they said...but....

I had been teaching phonics to my elementary 3rd graders for a while. Every now and then I'll have a spelling competition with them. They have to listen to the word I say and correctly write it on their whiteboards..

The word was  "CLOCK"
......almost all the students mispelled it....leaving out the "L."

So I had to keep a straight face while a bunch of innocent 3rd graders held up white boards with the word "COCK" written on them....  :lipsrsealed:

Thankfully my co-teacher wasn't in the room hahaha.

Offline fwicksteed

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #765 on: September 05, 2014, 04:45:40 PM »
Questions I asked one of my classes after they had been studying the reading part of the textbook about various artists with my coteacher:

Me: *Showing picture of the Mona Lisa* Who painted this?
Student: LEONARDO DI CAPRIO!

Me: Can you name 3 famous artists?
Student: Edward da Vinci.

English names are hard.



During a speaking test question using 'guess what' and 'you mean'...

Me: Guess what!
Student: What?
Me: I won a million dollars!
Student: You mean you can buy a pencil?

Yes. Yes I can. Not wrong, but so cute.


Also, one of my students accidentally held up the word 'faceboob' on a whiteboard instead of 'Facebook'.

Offline drgenderpotato

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #766 on: September 18, 2014, 03:54:19 PM »
BOY 1: "What did you do yesterday?"
BOY 2: "I kill you!"
BOY 1: (whispering) "Kill-uuuhhhhd! Killed!"
BOY 2: "Oh, sorry. I KILLED you yesterday. How about you?"
BOY 1: "Oh, I killed you, too."
BOY 2: "Great!"

(after being asked for examples)
KID 1: "Can I crazy?"
KID 2: "Yes, you may!"
KID 1: "Then I will hit you!"
KID 2: "That's dirty and nice. I'll take it."
KID: "How much are YOU?"
TEACHER: "These pens are two thousand won. They're cheap and nice."
KID: "They're expensive! WATER PARK!"
NOTORIOUS D.G.P.

Offline magicmumu

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #767 on: September 19, 2014, 06:04:56 AM »
So, I was teaching a lesson about big numbers because my students all completely shut down when I ask them to read a number over 100. It's also important to know that I'm a little chunky. I'm overweight but not morbidly so (except by Korean standards).

I had a really big number written on the board. The highest I went was billions I think.

I asked my students how to read this number and that one sassy kid at the front looks at me, looked my dead in the eyes, and says "Teacher's calories." -___________-

I'm writing this story as I eat a pancake that my students made for me lol


Ouch!  ;D
Treat others how you would like to be treated. Seriously.

Offline amgoalng

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #768 on: September 19, 2014, 10:58:47 AM »
I was teaching my kids antonyms and synonyms in a conversation class.  The idea was they chose a word on the board, make a sentence, then another student chose another word, but added to the story.  This is what I got.

I hate cucumbers.
Because I worship pickles.
The cucumbers and pickles had a war.
I love pickles because they gave me a bribe.

Offline Monfab

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #769 on: September 19, 2014, 12:07:24 PM »
In my all boys middle school, a bunch of 2nd graders were all stood around laughing.

"Teacher teacher, like womans bust. Big, soft, you want to feel?"

Half a class were stood taking it in turns to rub another kid's man boobs. My students are weird, and kind of creepy at times.

Veni, Vidi, Vici.......... but I got a little cold

Offline Gaikoku.org

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #770 on: September 19, 2014, 12:12:01 PM »
In my all boys middle school, a bunch of 2nd graders were all stood around laughing.

"Teacher teacher, like womans bust. Big, soft, you want to feel?"

Half a class were stood taking it in turns to rub another kid's man boobs. My students are weird, and kind of creepy at times.

Males do pretty stupid things in lieu of female contact.

Offline worraps

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #771 on: September 19, 2014, 01:03:59 PM »
Hi to all.

This is my first post.

I had a female student tell a male student, "You must erect yourself!"

What she meant was, you must sit up straight.

Funny at the time.

Peace.

Offline kjritchhart

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #772 on: September 19, 2014, 01:09:03 PM »
Every Wednesday one of my second year boys asks me to marry him, without fail.  This particular Wednesday he ask and the following happened between a group of four different boys:

Boy1:  Teacher, marry me!
Boy2:  YES!  Teacher, I love you!  Marry ME!
Boy3:  NO Teacher!  I love you!  They lie, marry me!
Boy4:  We can all marry teacher.
Me:  :huh: ............ :laugh:

Offline amgoalng

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #773 on: September 19, 2014, 02:01:28 PM »
I don't know if this counts as well speaking. 

A kindergartner that wanted to play, and practice her tae kwon do moves, well...let's just say, she knows where to hit a guy.  I limped away.  I never thought I would have to wear a cup to school.

Offline stemarty

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #774 on: September 22, 2014, 11:33:21 AM »
Teacher...you me....uh...chicken. I take you for chicken, you give me good grade.

I died. Ended up taking him and a bunch of old students for chicken 3 years later since they are graduating high school this year ^^

Offline scholes

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #775 on: September 22, 2014, 11:39:57 AM »
A student told me on Friday that when she looks at me from the front i dont look so fat. But from the side I look really fat, lol.

Offline abert

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #776 on: September 22, 2014, 03:48:48 PM »
I was doing a stress lesson today with my second grade High Schools students.

I asked a girl what makes her feel less stressed:

Me: What makes you feel less stressed
Student: When I see handsome boy.....my eyes feel 'bery' happy
(She said it with a straight face too!)

:P

Offline joanns

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #777 on: October 07, 2014, 12:30:30 PM »
I gave my 2nd yr. high school students this riddle: "When you say my name, I disappear. What am I?"

As the students were guessing the answer, one boy said: "love." :laugh:

I hope he's not speaking out of personal experience, though. What a big "Ouch!" that would be!

Offline amgoalng

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #778 on: October 07, 2014, 01:30:32 PM »
Last week a middle school boy said this. 

We went over: Seoul is better than Pusan because_________.  One boy said, "Seoul is better than Pusan because of sexy girls." 

All the boys laughed.  Two boys wanted me to give his team 10 points.  I gave him five.  The next phrase was, "When I am sick I should_____."  He tried, "When I am sick I should look at sexy girls."  Funny as it was, I could only allow the joke once.


Offline nebulasprout

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #779 on: October 07, 2014, 02:37:56 PM »
We're practicing "congratulations on..." today in class, so for fun I said "I ate a whole pizza by myself."

One girls' response:

"Congratulations on getting fat."

Simply amazing.
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