January 22, 2019, 01:48:05 PM


Author Topic: The hilarious things students say to you....  (Read 288960 times)

Offline cccosmonaut

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #720 on: September 10, 2013, 07:32:00 PM »
today's experience with allowing my high school boys to make their own requests:

"could i marry you?"
"could you change your face please?"
"would it be okay if i killed you?"

and my personal favorite...

"would it be okay if i ate your cat?" (insert the snickering of the 2-3 high level boys who understand the dirty connotations of "cat")
"and the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom." - anais nin

Offline gclancy

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #721 on: September 11, 2013, 07:52:45 AM »
Written in one kid's notebook:

"I want to be: a laptop."

"I want to: tiger."

Not really the same, but this reminds me of two different things I witnessed students had written down on two separate occasions (one a couple of years ago at a previous school, the other last winter).

A couple of years ago, my then-6th grade students were doing a fill-in-the-blank worksheet where they had to fill in the missing verbs in different sentences, which were provided in a word bank on the worksheet. Anyhow, two of the sentences were, "I ___ my bike" and "I ___ my grandmother," the answers for which were "ride" and "visit." One kid whose English level was low wrote "ride" for the sentence, "I ___ my grandmother." What an awkward sentence to read...

Last winter, the students who visited the English Center in my town apparently did an activity where they wrote letters to Santa Claus in English asking him for the present that they wanted to get for Christmas. The letters were hanging up on the wall all around the classroom, and I noticed many of the students had written, "Dear Santa, I want to smartphone." Haha.

On a similar note, when I was correcting a student's diary I happend across this gem

"I rode my dad and another man."

I wept with laughter.

Offline stemarty

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #722 on: September 11, 2013, 09:23:58 AM »
A bonus question in a game:

Q: What special equipment do you need when you jump out of an airplane to land safely?

A: Wings.

Offline KirbyOwnz

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #723 on: September 12, 2013, 12:29:37 PM »
Me: (Reading a question from the textbook) What cheers you up?

Student: My right hand.

Did you give him a congratulatory high five after?

Offline amgoalng

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #724 on: September 30, 2013, 08:48:57 AM »
This is not something a student said to me directly.  However, I thought it was too funny.

I gave my students a word, they had to say the first thing that came to their mind, flower: bee, war: gun, etc.  I told my students the word Korea, one student replied, "Dog meat." 

Offline weigookin74

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #725 on: September 30, 2013, 09:22:14 AM »
Kids fight with each other and insult each other in English to me.  They say many funny and strange thing, such as:

"He Taliban."

"He ..uh... Mental Disease."

"She nabeun saram."

"He .. Kim Jong Un."

"She ...uh... stoopid-eu." 

Offline stemarty

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #726 on: November 11, 2013, 09:52:27 AM »
Min-Su: Teacher! I found this amazing new American cartoon that I love watching.
Me: ....what is it? (I thought he finally discovered south park or something)
Min-Su: My little Pony!

Offline theTazz

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #727 on: November 11, 2013, 12:03:37 PM »
Not to me but to my waygookin colleague (there are two of us because it's a huge school):

"Teacher, school kimchi is so bad. School kimchi is made in China!"

It really is that terrible. Actually, the entire lunch menu at our school ranges from pretty awful to just ok. It's free for the students but the teachers (as far as I know) pay.

Another 6th grade student, pondering this state of affairs:

"Maybe if we pay for school lunch, we get better food."

Well, quite.

Offline Engrish

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #728 on: November 13, 2013, 08:00:07 PM »
During a game of hot seat when the picture/word was "Youtube".

A cute tiny middle school girl shouts "Redtube friend!"

My heart stopped for a good five seconds...and then another student shouted "Comedy video, music video website!"

Phew.

Online TheEnergizer

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #729 on: November 13, 2013, 08:15:29 PM »
During a game of hot seat when the picture/word was "Youtube".

A cute tiny middle school girl shouts "Redtube friend!"

My heart stopped for a good five seconds...and then another student shouted "Comedy video, music video website!"

Phew.

LOL

Offline oatmealkooky

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #730 on: November 13, 2013, 08:33:18 PM »
I like elementary, especially third grade, especially the girls. They're so goofy and always chipper. When they come into class it's like someone just tipped over a box of feisty kittens.

Anyway, a third-grade girl ran up to me in the hallway the other day during milk time and loudly declared "TEACHER, MILK...UM... HAPPY NA-HYUN... ALL!" and made a head-to-toe gesture to illustrate. It was adorable, and it was immutable scientific fact.

Offline Engrish

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #731 on: November 15, 2013, 05:02:41 PM »
Got another one, not really funny, but I had one student tell me today that "Schindler's List is a South Korean story"

wat?

I didn't even know where to begin with that one, so I just did a slow motion facepalm...

Offline stemarty

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #732 on: November 25, 2013, 09:11:18 AM »
While trying to explain "please give me some advice" I wrote on the board another synonym for advice (help) like this:

please give me some h __ __ __.

One kid belted out (really excited) "please give me some head!"

Offline BTeacher

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #733 on: November 25, 2013, 11:07:43 AM »
My co-T showed a music video "Everything At Once" which features some attractive women dancing, but nothing inappropriate, I think.

After watching it, one of the grade 6 boys told me:
"Teacher, ruler up! This video give me ruler up!"

Offline Rocketman9465

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #734 on: December 12, 2013, 02:43:19 PM »
So, I was teaching a lesson about big numbers because my students all completely shut down when I ask them to read a number over 100. It's also important to know that I'm a little chunky. I'm overweight but not morbidly so (except by Korean standards).

I had a really big number written on the board. The highest I went was billions I think.

I asked my students how to read this number and that one sassy kid at the front looks at me, looked my dead in the eyes, and says "Teacher's calories." -___________-

I'm writing this story as I eat a pancake that my students made for me lol
But I'm not a marine biologist....

Offline cjszk

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #735 on: December 12, 2013, 03:32:58 PM »
One of my third graders was under the impression that I flew in from the United States every day to show up for work.

Offline drgenderpotato

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #736 on: December 20, 2013, 03:47:58 PM »
5TH GRADE BOY: Teacher! I am gay!
ME: Wow, really?
BOY: Yes, yes! I am very very gay all the time!
ME: Hunh. Okay.
BOY: Are you surprised?
ME: No.
(Boy stares at me with mouth open as his friend falls down laughing.)


ME: "What does Santa Claus do?"
4TH GRADE BOY: "He kills children."
ME: "Are you sure?"
4TH GRADE BOY: "Yes, he kills every student and girl and boy and baby! WITH A GUN!"
ME: "But there aren't any guns in Korea."
4TH GRADE BOY: "He's American."


(During a game of Speed Quiz, the picture being "mouse")
6TH GRADE GIRL: "Uhhh, cheese friend!"
BOY: "No, cheese V.S.!"


A 5th grade boy walked up to me and proudly handed me a piece of paper, on which was written "Shut the ****"
I just gave it back to him and said, "That's incorrect" in a bored tone of voice.
His face fell. I guess he was expecting a bigger reaction?
Later that day, he came in and handed me another piece of paper. This one said "I Love You."


5TH GRADE BOY: "Teacher, I want to go to American school."
ME: "Why?"
BOY: "Uhhh...I can eat many delicious things, and no academy!"
GIRL: *very seriously* "No, you will go to jail."


One of my third graders has been running around screaming "TAKAI DESU NE" for the past two weeks.
ME: "Jongshik, why are you saying 'takai desu ne'?"
JONGSHIK: "I don't know."
ME: "Do you know what it means?"
JONGSHIK: "No."
ME: "It means, 'it's expensive, isn't it?' in Japanese."
JONGSHIK: "So?"
ME: "Do you speak Japanese?"
JONGSHIK: "No, I hate Japanese, Japanese are very very crazy and all die. TAKAI DESU NE TAKAI DESU NEEEE"


And it's surprising how many people want "DDONG" for their Christmas present.
NOTORIOUS D.G.P.

Offline waterfall12

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #737 on: December 20, 2013, 03:57:44 PM »
Okay students! How are you today?!

Fine

Ok

Im good

Teacher teacher! I am f**k you!

Offline Engrish

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #738 on: December 20, 2013, 04:13:04 PM »
Where is Superman from?
Supermarket!

What is the word for a small dog?
Hot dog!

Offline stemarty

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #739 on: March 07, 2014, 09:46:17 AM »
Teacher I have decided on my Final English name. Please call me "Acorn Dick"

Me: How was your vacation?
Student: CANDY!!!
Me: Your vacation was Candy? That's nice. What did you do?
Student: I DID CANDY. SO NICE!!!