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Author Topic: The hilarious things students say to you....  (Read 288973 times)

Offline nschenk512

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #660 on: March 19, 2013, 05:07:42 PM »
These both happened in my elementary school Saturday SAM classes.

I'm teaching them improv comedy, so they need to know a lot of description words, like big, small, heavy, light, and how to use them. So I'm going over these words and asking "Tell me something that is ____" I'm working on big, and I get cars, elephants, and then this gem from my most outspoken 4th grader.

Student: Teacher is big!

I lost it. I had to sit down at my desk for a second to laugh, but I did tell him that that was very good, because I mean, compared to a 4th grader, I am big.

Later that day, I had them doing silent impressions. I made sure to give a boy the "Girl" impression, and he responded by gyrating his hips and going "ooh". He's in the third grade.

Offline stemarty

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #661 on: March 20, 2013, 10:30:10 AM »
Hero: I'm sorry I cant be in class today. I have to help my dog make a baby.
Me: ....... I'm sorry? Make a baby?
Hero: Yes. She is making babies right now!
Me: You mean she is pregant and is giving birth?
Hero: Yes! I must help her!!

I died.

Online TheEnergizer

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #662 on: March 20, 2013, 10:38:22 AM »
Studying "How often do you..." and students had to write what they did everyday, once a week, once or twice a month, once or twice a year, and never...

Me: "What do you do everyday?"
Student: "Take a shower."
Me: "Once a week?"
Student: "Study."
Me: "Once or twice a month?"
Student: "Go to the movies."
Me: "Once or twice a year."
Student: "Clean my room."
Me: "What do you never do?"
Student: "Go to the hell."

http://www.eslfunnies.com/2013/03/ill-never-go-to-hell.html

Offline tausha12

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #663 on: March 20, 2013, 10:52:34 AM »
Me, interrupting obviously filthy convo between five or so HS boys: Are you talking about porn?

HS Kid: Teacher. Japan man very crazy, but very many power. Long time.

Me: So you're watching Japanese porn already. That's pretty wild stuff for 16-year olds.

Kid: Teacher.

Me: What?

Kid: Teacher, you. *pantomimes wild masturbation* Many white water?

My back hurt from laughing so hard.

oh wow, that made my day.

Offline dyst0pian

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #664 on: March 20, 2013, 10:54:17 AM »
"Teacher... my favourite animals are humans."

Deep.

Offline sammyjoonhee

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #665 on: March 20, 2013, 10:57:18 AM »
Student 1: Teacher your a girl!!!!!

Me: Ummm ok sure why not..

Student 2: NO, he isn't....

Student 1: Ok, then prove it teacher!!!

Me: Ok this conversation is over

Student 2: TEACHER I KNOW YOU HAVE TWO COCONUTS AND A MUSHROOM...

Me: OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG Why would you say that......

Offline johnny russian

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #666 on: March 20, 2013, 10:58:04 AM »
Make your own superhero (high school)

hero: Kimchiman
power: fermented breath
weakness: toothpaste

Offline miljennifer

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #667 on: March 20, 2013, 12:21:18 PM »
After showing a pic of me that's about 2 years old with a different hairstyle and no glasses during my self-introduction PPT:

Student (pointing at photo on screen): Teacher? That you?

Me: Yes, that's me.

Student: Teacher. Plastic surgery?


Offline desert_sugi

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #668 on: March 20, 2013, 12:48:37 PM »
we were talking about our favorite food/drinks.

HS grade 1 all girls school

me: What is your favorite drink?

student: sex on the beach



I laughed so hard I cried!

Offline river

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #669 on: March 20, 2013, 01:17:33 PM »
during lunch break she comes to my room with a piece of paper:

student: Teacher... 미국 drama give me.
teacher: hmm, okay (i take the paper and write a few down that come to mind)
student: music 주세요
teacher: what kind? ballad, pop, hip hop....?
student: hip hop
teacher: okay (finish writing them down, pass paper back)
student: (pause) how about porn?
teacher: get out of my class!

HAHAHA u just completely killed me  :laugh:

Offline waltre

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #670 on: March 20, 2013, 01:31:39 PM »
Every time there is a picture of a black man as a visual aid in my powerpoints:

Random student: Ohhhh! Obama!

Online TheEnergizer

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #671 on: March 21, 2013, 09:49:25 AM »
Me: "What do you do everyday?"
Student: "Take a shower."
Me: "What do you never do?"
Student: "Go to a gay bar."
Me: "....what?"

Offline cajunaggie87

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #672 on: March 21, 2013, 11:05:59 AM »
Me: "Class, do you have any questions about me or my country?"
Student: "Do American men like big butts?"
Student: "Is your beard real?"
Student: "Do you know Obama?"

Student:"Do you have kids?"
Me: "No, we do not have any kids."
Student:"When?"
Me: "Much later."
Student: "Hurry up!"

Offline cajunaggie87

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #673 on: March 21, 2013, 11:08:33 AM »
For my first lesson when I introduce myself, I always show a picture of 3 of my best friends. One of my friends has the exact same name as me (and he is a big guy), so before I tell them his name, I ask them to guess what his name is. Every single time, at least one student says some variation of "Fatty" or "Big guy" or "Fatso."

Offline dmw

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #674 on: March 21, 2013, 11:26:00 AM »
One time I said a joke, one student replied and this conversation happened:

Student: Oh my god!
Me: There is no god; only me
Student: I'm Jesus
Me: Then why are you at a Korean high school?
Student: For the experience

I died.

Absolutely brilliant !!!!!  ;D

Offline aklimkewicz

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #675 on: April 01, 2013, 02:49:58 PM »
Today I was walking about the playground area chatting with the students who would walk up to me. One of my middle school first years walked up and said, "We do not communication," and then walked away. I just want to communication with these students!
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Offline Redondo

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #676 on: April 03, 2013, 09:45:36 AM »
I was teaching grade 5 yesterday, and one of the character's name's in the book is betty. The student kept calling her panty. He knows what it means ( I have no idea how), and he kept ''panty for the next 5 minutes. I acted harsh with him and he stopped, but I think he saw me cracking up at him.

Offline Jrong

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #677 on: April 03, 2013, 09:50:57 AM »
I was teaching grade 5 yesterday, and one of the character's name's in the book is betty. The student kept calling her panty. He knows what it means ( I have no idea how), and he kept ''panty for the next 5 minutes. I acted harsh with him and he stopped, but I think he saw me cracking up at him.
What is up w panty?

My students at both schools love saying that word. Must be a part of child pop culture bc of some commercial or something.
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Offline timephone

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #678 on: April 03, 2013, 10:27:06 AM »
I was teaching grade 5 yesterday, and one of the character's name's in the book is betty. The student kept calling her panty. He knows what it means ( I have no idea how), and he kept ''panty for the next 5 minutes. I acted harsh with him and he stopped, but I think he saw me cracking up at him.
I was teaching grade 5 yesterday, and one of the character's name's in the book is betty. The student kept calling her panty. He knows what it means ( I have no idea how), and he kept ''panty for the next 5 minutes. I acted harsh with him and he stopped, but I think he saw me cracking up at him.
What is up w panty?

My students at both schools love saying that word. Must be a part of child pop culture bc of some commercial or something.

Panty is the word Koreans use for both men's and women's underwear. It's a loan word from English.

Offline stemarty

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #679 on: April 15, 2013, 12:53:52 PM »
I am good at speaking strongly because I'm not shame
I am good at eating much because I'm one of teenagers.

I want to go to USA because I want to see white man.
I want to go to Africa because I want to see black man.
I want to go to Japan because I want to see brown man.