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Author Topic: The hilarious things students say to you....  (Read 288999 times)

Offline Jrong

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #640 on: February 08, 2013, 02:38:58 PM »
This is one I get a lot and it's always funny how predictable things are.

Me: Open your books.
Student: NO!  >:(
Me:  :laugh:  :laugh:  :laugh:  OK  (*start clicking minus points on the scoreboard, student scurries to open their book)

"When in doubt...ask Troglodyte" ~0mnslnd

Offline OneVurfedGwrx

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #641 on: February 08, 2013, 03:07:26 PM »
After coming in from a little walk out in a chilly wind yesterday, one of the sweeter 5th. grade girls asks me in all innocence, "술 먹었어요?" (Have you drank some alcohol?).  After my negative, I get asked "Soju?" just to be sure, before I explain that the wind is a little cold today.

(the amusing part was the way she asked this as if it was perfectly normal for the teachers to go out and drink enough alcohol to go red in the face over lunch-time)
« Last Edit: February 08, 2013, 03:09:38 PM by OneVurfedGwrx »

Offline alexc2000

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #642 on: February 10, 2013, 03:21:24 PM »
There was a 1st grade boy whose incoherent babbling was interesting. He had attention problems but he was able to imitate my voice and pronunciation perfectly.

A few of the 3rd grade girls like to send me text messages. One of them just sends me random letters.
As for another 3rd grade girl, I accidentally confused her into thinking that the sentence "Who is this?" was a greeting. It began with her sending me a message. I wasn't sure who sent me the message so I asked for the identity by writing "Who is this?" :huh:

There was a 3rd grade boy who likes to try to get me to dismiss class five minutes earlier. At the beginning, he said "time to to" when he wrote down the new time to dismiss class. He probably meant "time to go." He still insisted on ending the class early even when I said the dismissal time in Korean. :laugh:
« Last Edit: February 10, 2013, 05:49:14 PM by alexc2000 »

Offline bammertheblue

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #643 on: February 10, 2013, 06:11:09 PM »
Some of my kids were teaching me about the superstition behind the number 4. These kids are about 8-10 years old (Western years). Anyway, they told me "Four means you will DIE!" So I feigned horror and told them "Oh no! I live on the fourth floor! Will I die?"

Answer?

"No, teacher! You are not Korean!"

I guess the number four is only fatal to Koreans.

Offline echo

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #644 on: February 13, 2013, 01:49:16 PM »
I'm not the best story teller but I'll do my best to relay a story that one of my students told me.

Yesterday at my academy I was asking my kids how their Solar holiday was. One of the middle school boys tells me about his experience.

He went out to countryside to visit his grandparents, who lived on a farm. Being the only grandson in the family, he got bored and went out in the back and started harassing one of the cows. His oblivious grandmother comes out to feed the cow. As she nears the front of the cow, he boots the cow in the rear and the cow charges his grandmother. She gets knocked on her back and has her head cut open a little.

Out of panic, my student runs in the house and tells Grandpa that Grandma was hurt. After assessing the situation, Grandpa immediately becomes full of rage and ties up the cow in the barn and knocks it with a hammer, all this happening so close to my student that blood was splattering on his face.

When I asked him why he didn't my tell his grandpa what he did, he casually says "It's no problem, we got to eat cow that night!"

Offline Selah

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #645 on: February 13, 2013, 02:46:17 PM »
We are playing a taboo-like guessing game, and once a student gets the answer, I tell him or her to "pick someone and switch." This was going fine until one student picked me, which meant I told him to take over running the game (since it was set up, all he had to do was verify answers). I answered correctly on the first try (one of the perks of creating the game is knowing the answers ... bwahahaha) but he wasn't ready to give up the leadership role. He mimicked my voice perfectly as he said, "Teacher, now pick someone and switch."
Recently I came to school without straightening my hair first. One of my 8th graders asked me, "Teacher, do you know that your head exploded?"
"Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much." -- Oscar Wilde

Offline klwilson21

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #646 on: February 13, 2013, 03:25:54 PM »
I'm not the best story teller but I'll do my best to relay a story that one of my students told me.

Yesterday at my academy I was asking my kids how their Solar holiday was. One of the middle school boys tells me about his experience.

He went out to countryside to visit his grandparents, who lived on a farm. Being the only grandson in the family, he got bored and went out in the back and started harassing one of the cows. His oblivious grandmother comes out to feed the cow. As she nears the front of the cow, he boots the cow in the rear and the cow charges his grandmother. She gets knocked on her back and has her head cut open a little.

Out of panic, my student runs in the house and tells Grandpa that Grandma was hurt. After assessing the situation, Grandpa immediately becomes full of rage and ties up the cow in the barn and knocks it with a hammer, all this happening so close to my student that blood was splattering on his face.

When I asked him why he didn't my tell his grandpa what he did, he casually says "It's no problem, we got to eat cow that night!"

OMG!!!!! That story is so messed up!

Offline Aristotle100

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #647 on: February 13, 2013, 03:28:17 PM »
Talking with some students before class and the topic is food

Student "teacher I had penis last night with ice cream!"

Me "You had what now? Ummm"

Student gets out his phone shows me a picture of peanuts

Me " Wow...I think we should have a class today on practicing pronunciation"
WinRAR, WinRAR, chicken dinrar

Offline bammertheblue

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #648 on: February 14, 2013, 07:47:23 PM »
I'm not the best story teller but I'll do my best to relay a story that one of my students told me.

Yesterday at my academy I was asking my kids how their Solar holiday was. One of the middle school boys tells me about his experience.

He went out to countryside to visit his grandparents, who lived on a farm. Being the only grandson in the family, he got bored and went out in the back and started harassing one of the cows. His oblivious grandmother comes out to feed the cow. As she nears the front of the cow, he boots the cow in the rear and the cow charges his grandmother. She gets knocked on her back and has her head cut open a little.

Out of panic, my student runs in the house and tells Grandpa that Grandma was hurt. After assessing the situation, Grandpa immediately becomes full of rage and ties up the cow in the barn and knocks it with a hammer, all this happening so close to my student that blood was splattering on his face.

When I asked him why he didn't my tell his grandpa what he did, he casually says "It's no problem, we got to eat cow that night!"

That's AWESOME. I love your student.

Offline stemarty

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #649 on: March 07, 2013, 11:20:23 AM »
Me and my student VIA text message:

Me: Min-Su, I have something for you. Message me on Friday moring to help me remember to bring it to you.

Min-Su: I hope its something that I can eat.

Me: I wouldn't eat it ;)

Min-Su: Hot damn!

Offline apiland67

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #650 on: March 07, 2013, 01:29:23 PM »
Before winter break I was doing doing a lesson comparing U.S. and Korean elections. Everything was going fine (other them being bored) until I had individual students repeating sentences. I got to one student and asked him to say the sentence I gave him.

Student: Romney lost the erection.

Offline acostello

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #651 on: March 07, 2013, 02:33:04 PM »
My two favorite quotes so far (my students are high school boys):

"Teacher, do you like black men?"

"Teacher! Your boots! Very sexy!"

Offline new-waygook

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #652 on: March 07, 2013, 02:36:19 PM »
3rd grade Elementary boy.

It was lunch time and when I walked pasted him he yelled, "Teacher!  Look!" then proceeded to do a model pose before smacking his own ass.  He is 10...   

Online TheEnergizer

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #653 on: March 07, 2013, 02:54:57 PM »
"What do you want to be when you grow up?"
"A bus."

Offline ritum

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #654 on: March 07, 2013, 02:58:59 PM »
I have a student who speaks NO English, and every time I see him in the hallway he yells out "Heyyyy sexy lady!" haha... oh the things they learn!

Offline salambander

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #655 on: March 07, 2013, 04:47:37 PM »
"I want to learn English so I can invade America."

Offline wrinklebump

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #656 on: March 07, 2013, 05:00:24 PM »
Me, interrupting obviously filthy convo between five or so HS boys: Are you talking about porn?

HS Kid: Teacher. Japan man very crazy, but very many power. Long time.

Me: So you're watching Japanese porn already. That's pretty wild stuff for 16-year olds.

Kid: Teacher.

Me: What?

Kid: Teacher, you. *pantomimes wild masturbation* Many white water?

My back hurt from laughing so hard.

Livin in a pathetic epidemic with schizophrenics buyin synthetic bodies on credit

Offline stemarty

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #657 on: March 07, 2013, 09:27:48 PM »
"What do you want to be when you grow up?"
"A bus."

I had a kid say the EXACT same thing to me. Then he drew a red bus.

Offline scottab123

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #658 on: March 19, 2013, 03:42:51 PM »
When I get a new class, I do introduction stuff and I usually end with letting them ask questions.  This hasn't gotten me in trouble yet, but here's the best Q&A so far:

Student:  Are you married?
Me: Yes, I am.
Student:  Do you have kids?
Me: No, I don't.
Student:  Why not?
Me: (back-peddling because we're not sure we will have children, which can't be explained to Koreans) Well, we were both in university when we got married and didn't have the time or money.  Now we're not sure if we want to have children when we're away from America.
Student:  What?
Me: We are busy.
Student:  Teacher, every night?

Everyone laughed, including me.

Offline anna.rpo

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #659 on: March 19, 2013, 03:51:22 PM »
This morning - 'Anna, are you Superman? Are you Wonder Woman?'

After 25 minutes of wtf, I realised I was wearing bright yellow tights and standing with my hands on my hips, superhero-style.
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