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Author Topic: The hilarious things students say to you....  (Read 294176 times)

Offline bawaugh

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #580 on: October 11, 2012, 10:33:13 PM »
Me: "So how was your test?"
Student: "I'm mad. Not good."
Me: "Did you study?"
Student: "...No."


6th grade class - dictation is only used for bad students/classes.



Teacher: Who wants to do dictation?
Student - puts their hand up
Teacher: really?
Another puts their hand up as if they want to join them.
Co teacher did some quick translation for the student.
Student changes their mind.




Or something like that my memory is a little hazy.
PV=nRT

Where
P is pressure
V is volume
n is number of moles
R is the gas constant
T is the temperature

Offline toulz

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #581 on: October 12, 2012, 02:42:16 PM »
3rd grade girl:

Girl: "Wo ai ni" (means I love you in Chinese)
Me: "Ohhh ok."
Girl: "No wait! I'm not lesbian."

Offline Adobe

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #582 on: October 12, 2012, 03:12:22 PM »
Me: Where is this? (hold up picture of Vegas at night).
Ss: *silence* :blank:
S: Oh, oh, oh, Disneyland?
ME: *pretend to roll a dice*
S: Adult Disneyland?
CoT/Me:  :laugh: ;D

Offline 한소로

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #583 on: October 12, 2012, 03:14:25 PM »
Me: What's a shadow?
Student: Colored person and Black person!

Offline HunterTecherNN

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #584 on: October 12, 2012, 03:17:54 PM »
TEACHER YOU HAVE ROUND FACE ROUND FACE, BAELEE BAELEE (trying to say very) ROUND FACE

Offline jwharrison30

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #585 on: October 12, 2012, 03:24:46 PM »
did you have a good weekend?
no
why not?
me and jumin had a fight
oh, who won?
my mother

lol

Offline Luckylinda

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #586 on: October 12, 2012, 06:14:10 PM »
Linda Teacher I lobe you.
Why thank you!
My boyfriend lobes me too!
Currently taking some vacation time in Europe!

Offline TheEnergizer

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #587 on: October 13, 2012, 02:47:44 PM »
did you have a good weekend?
no
why not?
me and jumin had a fight
oh, who won?
my mother

lol

Doesn't the mother always win? haha

Offline aschil6

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #588 on: October 13, 2012, 04:37:43 PM »
"Teacher, I like your dress. You can be head of ***** Style!"   :P

(*****= name of my school)

Offline 한소로

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #589 on: October 16, 2012, 08:51:16 AM »
MEe: Who painted Mona Lisa?
Student: MBLAQ!

Offline Chicagohotdog

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #590 on: October 16, 2012, 09:10:39 AM »
We were playing Stop the Bus! where the students have to make a list of 5 things for whatever category.

Category: Things that make you happy.
Student: Man.
Me: Explain.
Student: Girl have man - happy.
Me: *snort*

Category: Things that make you sad.
Student: no man.
Whole class: laughs.
Same student: English.  Teachers.
Me: *pouting and wipe away fake tear*
Student: No!  Not you!
Me: *pretend to wipe their points off of the board*

Category: things you keep as pets
Student: alligator
Me: NO...

Category: Things that fly.
house fly
horse fly
dragon fly
butter fly
um...teacher...plane?

And one group kept coming up with 'beer' as an answer.  Mind you this is middle school. (Things you can't do in middle school - drink beer.  Words with four letters - beer.  Words that end in r - beer.  Beverages - beer.)

One of my favorite days here ever!
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Offline notinKS

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #591 on: October 16, 2012, 09:13:05 AM »
Me: Our body becomes completely new every 7 years.
Student: Nude?

Offline Nivea

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #592 on: October 16, 2012, 09:19:43 AM »
One told me that she was eating lots of cherries to get bigger boobs.  :laugh: I told he it would not work and she became annoyed and said I should know about these things.  Everyone was laughing, finally another student shouted out "It's DNA, you idiot" and everyone shut up.

Offline marshmellow man

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #593 on: October 16, 2012, 09:29:29 AM »
In a class with eight year old students I was teaching:

*Thick vs thin
*Long vs short
*Tall vs short

Student:  "Teacher, you are thick."
"The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do."  Steve Jobs

Offline stemarty

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #594 on: October 16, 2012, 07:34:33 PM »
My Grade 2 middle school Student, Hero (nickname) on Giving Advice:

A: My girlfriend is angry with me. I am very sad.
B: You should go home and play with her.

Offline TheEnergizer

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #595 on: October 16, 2012, 10:16:26 PM »
One told me that she was eating lots of cherries to get bigger boobs.  :laugh: I told he it would not work and she became annoyed and said I should know about these things.  Everyone was laughing, finally another student shouted out "It's DNA, you idiot" and everyone shut up.

lol

Offline nicoleteacher23

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #596 on: November 01, 2012, 02:58:31 PM »
Me: Who is the most famous vampire?
Student: Mosquito!


Me: Who started Halloween?
Student: George Washington?

LOLLLLL

Offline millionsknives

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #597 on: November 01, 2012, 03:25:11 PM »
In the early days of this semester when I was still getting to know my 1st year high school students, one of them started asking me whether I had a girlfriend.  These being teenage boys and me being immature and liking to joke around with my students I answered his question and asked him about his girlfriend.  This eventually turned into a series of masturbation jokes with lots of pointing at his right hand and talking about his "girlfriend"

After class as the students are leaving this student walks up and puts his hand up to give me five. ( I'm forever giving five to these kids)  Anyhow as soon as I slap hands with him he says, " Hey why are you hitting my girlfriend?"  I nearly died.     :laugh:
I drank what!?
-Socrates

Offline teaching2012

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #598 on: November 02, 2012, 10:22:59 AM »
Student: Teacher...hair...jajamyun (black bean noodles)
Me: My hair looks like jajamyun?!?!?!
Students: YES!
Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

(I have very curly, dark, brown hair.)

Offline 한소로

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #599 on: November 02, 2012, 10:45:18 AM »
Me: I'm hungry, what should I do?
Kid: I'd better hide my dog.