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Author Topic: The hilarious things students say to you....  (Read 288971 times)

Offline smippy

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Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #540 on: September 12, 2012, 08:14:47 AM »
Conversation with one of my 2nd graders (elementary)

S: Teacher! Constipation.... what is it?

Me: o_o Um, it means you can't poop.

S: Okay!

Offline dgregg1987

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #541 on: September 12, 2012, 12:44:35 PM »
"Teacher you look very good today, what's wrong?"

Then when I was teaching the six graders for the "Would you like to come?" lesson, we were making invitations. One of the students came up to me and said...

"Teacher, would you like to come to my zombie F@#K Y@u party?" :o

I wanted to laugh but I was also shocked at the same time because my students are really low-level and have trouble telling me how they are doing.

Offline rocketeerjoe

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #542 on: September 13, 2012, 10:10:55 AM »
Questions from my students:

"Teacher, Japan is very very bad. They no good. Do you like Japan?"

"Are there stalkers in America? Stalkers very very bad."

"Are there gay people in California?"

That was out of nowhere. LOL, kids.
"If you want to change your direction. If your time of life is at hand. Well, then don't be the rule, be the exception. A good place to start is to stand. Just put one foot in front of the other." - Rankin Bass Santa Claus

Offline DejaVu

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #543 on: September 13, 2012, 11:05:40 AM »
Questions from my students:

"Teacher, Japan is very very bad. They no good. Do you like Japan?"

"Are there stalkers in America? Stalkers very very bad."

"Are there gay people in California?"

That was out of nowhere. LOL, kids.

I'm curious what your answers were.

Offline Ramplo

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #544 on: September 13, 2012, 11:42:55 AM »
I had the students drawing outfits and writing what the girl was wearing.
One of my girls drew a mermaid (I guess from a movie or show or something...)
Well she decided to label it and asked another girl how to spell Beach Queen...

And thus, "B1tchy Queen" was born.

Offline rocketeerjoe

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #545 on: September 13, 2012, 11:48:22 AM »
Questions from my students:

"Teacher, Japan is very very bad. They no good. Do you like Japan?"

"Are there stalkers in America? Stalkers very very bad."

"Are there gay people in California?"

That was out of nowhere. LOL, kids.

I'm curious what your answers were.

Re: Japan they were trying to convince me Japan was evil, so I drew some percentages that said 100% and said no country is 100% good or evil, that good and evil were in every country. Their response was America very very good Japan so-so. America won the popularity contest, it seems.

I said stalkers were rare but there were some. The girl who asked me that had a cop for an uncle so she's very interested in crime rates in Korea.

Yes, yes there are.
« Last Edit: September 14, 2012, 11:02:15 AM by rocketeerjoe »
"If you want to change your direction. If your time of life is at hand. Well, then don't be the rule, be the exception. A good place to start is to stand. Just put one foot in front of the other." - Rankin Bass Santa Claus

Offline marshmellow man

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #546 on: September 13, 2012, 12:13:31 PM »
Student:  "Teacher, you have a tall nose!"

The student then proceeds to point out that all the students in the class have flat noses.
"The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do."  Steve Jobs

Offline theTazz

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Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #547 on: September 14, 2012, 11:29:53 AM »
My 5th graders have an adorable habit of trying to explain vocab words in English.
Me: What is the moon?
S1: Night sun!
S2: Star king!

Then today with one of the 6th grade classes, a boy (cocky, a little arrogant) had mixed up the answers to question 1 and 2 on his worksheet, probably through sheer inattention (he was more focused on drawing claws on his arm in green ink). I read the question and answer back to him in exaggerated tones, hoping he'd click, but he just sat there saying "yes". So I tapped him smartly on the head with my pencil, said "No" and draw a large arrow between the two answers. As I moved away a girl from another table called me over and whispered, pointing at the boy, "Teacher...one more time."

Offline hwana

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Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #548 on: September 14, 2012, 12:40:21 PM »
"I said your face looks like barbeque." Another sixth grade boy when asking them to describe this picture.  :laugh:


This cracked me up! Genius.

Offline addeasis

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Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #549 on: September 14, 2012, 01:07:23 PM »
Boy student: Teachaa, teachaa! Earring! Give me!
(hands student my feather earring)
Me: Be careful!
(Student hooks earring to his glasses and swings his head so the earring sways)
Boy student: I'M A PRETTY BOY! (pauses to swing the earring again) I'M A PRETTY BOY!


Thank you woodsworth English.

The PC Bang is NOT funny, kids.

Offline SBracken

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Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #550 on: September 14, 2012, 02:30:22 PM »
getting 2 team names...
me: ok, how about you guys?
boy: oh teacha, super special! we are SS!
me: haha ok. what is that, some kpop song?
boy: no, we just special!
me: ok *to other team*, how about you guys?
girl: BETTER special!! we are BS!
me: *snicker*

Boy student: Teachaa, teachaa! Earring! Give me!
(hands student my feather earring)
Me: Be careful!
(Student hooks earring to his glasses and swings his head so the earring sways)
Boy student: I'M A PRETTY BOY! (pauses to swing the earring again) I'M A PRETTY BOY!
this reminds me of something that happened last year- I was wearing some feather earrings to school one day, came into class, and as expected, my middle school kiddos went nuts. the highlight though was one of my lower-level (but supersweet) boys running up and informing me that my earrings were 'angrybird!!'

Offline Superchick3

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Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #551 on: September 14, 2012, 02:57:03 PM »
My students were playing a guess the place game and for Statue of Liberty my students said "Freedom Gandhi" I had to give them candy for that! :)

Offline melodious

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Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #552 on: September 14, 2012, 02:57:56 PM »
My Elementary School students weekend journal heading, "My mother is useless" followed by a page of why exactly she is useless. Priceless.

7 year old makes a black mark on his hand by mistake while colouring, "Look teacher! An apostraphe!"

From a friend: (her boyfriend was visiting Korea and met the students) Students were 9 years old
Student 1: Teacher, where does your boyfriend sleep? Same apartment?
Teacher: uhhhhh....
Student 2: Same room?
Teacher: uhhhh....yes....
(gasps from around the class)
Boyfriend: We have bunkbeds.
Students: Aahhhhh. ok.

My 7 year old student June had to write his name on his test. He decided to write, "June is good" but mispelt it and it came out "June is God."  Made me giggle.

Student: Teacher, I will travel in your nostril.
Me: What?
Student: It's my imagination
Me: um, ok...






Offline 한소로

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Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #553 on: September 14, 2012, 03:15:47 PM »
"Teacher! You're white, I'm black!"

...I was really confused since they are Korean students, but after they started petting my arm I realized it was arm hair. That started a whole discussion between them whether my arm hair was white or gold.

Offline chicagoaninkorea90

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #554 on: September 14, 2012, 09:18:32 PM »
"Teacher... you have BIG eyes! Like REALLY big eyes! Almost TOO BIG!"

Offline tinkerbellmaggie

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Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #555 on: September 18, 2012, 03:22:40 PM »
The whole cock versus coke thing :) . It makes me smile and cringe inside everytime they say it.

Student "Teacher....Candy...me"
Me: "May I have....." (looking expectantly at my 6th grader)
Student: "May I have  candy some me?" - (Student looks at me quizzically)
Me: "May I have some...?"
Student: "May I have some candy?"
Me: "Yes" - student shoots triumphant look at the student next to him!

Didn't hear but saw - T-Shirt - Money over Bitches.................................. on a 4th grader
...girl.  I still don't have the heart or energy to explain WHY this is soooo inappropriate.
« Last Edit: September 21, 2012, 03:30:33 PM by tinkerbellmaggie »

Offline SBracken

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Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #556 on: September 20, 2012, 02:42:39 PM »
This is officially my 'most awkward moment'. Third grade middle school, co-ed. Each class, I pick one student to 'introduce' the lesson. They come to the front, read the date, what period it is, and the plan for the day, and sit back down. I just work my way down their class numbers, nothing special.

"Hellooo everyone. Ok, who do we have today... 22! Who is 22?"

Half of the classroom bursts out laughing- the half with boys. I get a chaotic outburst of the following types of 'sentences', with LOTS of hand signs, just in case I didn't understand:
'teacha, between leg!!!!!' (this was the one usually accompanied by the hand symbols)
'sex boy!!'
'boy, no class!! sit!'

preeetty sure my face turned red.

Online TheEnergizer

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #557 on: September 27, 2012, 03:24:30 PM »
Me: "Who can use animal in a sentence?"
Student: "Animal is sexy."
Me: " O_O;;...moving on!!.."

Offline jenche09

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #558 on: September 27, 2012, 03:30:31 PM »
Me: Let's begin! Any questions?
Student: Teacher has nose job?

Offline wem1830

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #559 on: September 27, 2012, 05:05:29 PM »
Too funny! ;D