January 23, 2019, 08:22:56 PM


Author Topic: The hilarious things students say to you....  (Read 289123 times)

Offline Jaunter

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Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #520 on: August 24, 2012, 02:00:06 PM »
"This will have a bad outcome, I predict it." One of my sixth grade boys while playing a bomb game.

"I said your face looks like barbeque." Another sixth grade boy when asking them to describe this picture.  :laugh:
_ゝ`) ...

Offline RachelTibai

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Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #521 on: August 24, 2012, 02:33:07 PM »
Female 6th grade student: Teacher your body smells like... bubble bubble?...washing hands?...
Me: Soap?
Female 6th grade student: Soap! Teacher your body smells like soap!
Me: Umm, ok. That is good. Thanks!

Offline esgvanha

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Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #522 on: August 30, 2012, 07:22:12 PM »
So I was teaching my students about Haikus today, and one of the students could not think of what to put for the final 5 syllables about himself. He ended up settling with "buffalo chicken".

Offline stemarty

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #523 on: September 06, 2012, 06:58:00 AM »
Hero: Sir! Yes Sir!
 Me: Sir? I'm a boy?
 Hero: OH NO TEACHER! What is the word for woman?
 Me: Ma'am...but that makes me feel old. Call me Captain.
 Hero: Oh Captain my Captain!

Offline 제이

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #524 on: September 06, 2012, 07:22:18 AM »
I am walking down the street to home yesterday. I get a tap on the shoulder from a student:

Him: Hey Teacher, you're handsome.
Me: Thanks, you too.
Him: I know.

Offline Chicagohotdog

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #525 on: September 06, 2012, 07:34:56 AM »
Today, as I was walking up to the school as the first teacher to arrive one of my female students was walking down the hill away from the school.

S: Teacher, Hi!
Me: Hi!
S: Teacher, bye!
Me: Bye?  Not bye, hi.
S: I go home.
Me: Already?  (It's like 8AM at this point) Why?
S: I don't know...
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Offline SmileySam

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #526 on: September 06, 2012, 08:16:13 AM »
Happens every week. This week's gem:

Lee Taewook: Samantha Teacher, you know Michael teacher?
Me: Yes, of course.
Lee Taewook: Michael teacher is uh... Hitler, don't you think?

It should be noted that Michael teacher is actually 신용진 teacher, and that the class just call him Michael for my benefit. Still not entirely sure why...

Offline justanotherwaygook

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #527 on: September 06, 2012, 08:48:43 AM »
I recently started shaving my head, which has generally been well received.

Student: Teacher, you shiny!
Me: Thanks.  ::)
Student: Teacher, I like long hair. (voicing her disapproval of my shaved dome)
Me: I like short hair.
Student: But!  You have no hair!

 ::)
C is for cookie, that's good enough for me.

Offline ktkates87

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #528 on: September 06, 2012, 09:06:14 AM »
While trying to explain the expression "would you like some cheese with that wine?" to an elementary school student......

Student: whimpering about having to study
me: awww would you like some cheese with that wine?
Student: but teach-uh, cider goes best with pizza!!!

Talking about sounds you can hear inside and outside of your house

Billy: i can hear the cicadas
tommy: I can hear my mother cooking
suzie: I can hear the television
peter: I can hear my father crying

That was a bit of a head-scratcher.

Offline alljokingaside

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #529 on: September 06, 2012, 11:15:13 AM »
Last year in my old high school, a stick of a student with a whine for a voice, right on the borderline of pre- and pubescent, comes up to me and....

student: "COCK! HIT! HE HIT COCK. HE! HIT! COCK!!"
me:*lmao*
student: "COCK! HIT!"
me: *still lmao*
student: WHY?! MY COCK....!
me: *doubled over, still lmao*

Offline iseya

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #530 on: September 06, 2012, 12:09:08 PM »
I get at least one laugh out of my highschool boys every day.

Yesterday...
I'm washing my hands in the bathroom and a student starts up an exchange with me from the urinal he's using

Student: Hi teacha. how are you?
Me:  Hello. I am pretty good.  How about you?
Student: I touching my Johnson.
Me:  ::walking out with a chuckle:: Wash your hands when youre done.
Student:  OKAY teacha!

Offline Greigg

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #531 on: September 06, 2012, 12:12:20 PM »
I wasn't really involved in this stream of consciousness yelled out by alternating students in my 5th grade elementary class, but it started when I walked in with a little bag of candy for a game I was going to play.

Random Student 1 "Teacher! Gimmie present!"
Random Student 2 "Gimmie present!!
Random Student 3 "Gimmie president!"
Random Student 4, thoughtfully; "George Bush was a good president."
Random Student 5, aghast; "No he wasn't!  I like Obama."

Offline Chicagohotdog

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #532 on: September 06, 2012, 12:32:25 PM »
I wasn't really involved in this stream of consciousness yelled out by alternating students in my 5th grade elementary class, but it started when I walked in with a little bag of candy for a game I was going to play.

Random Student 1 "Teacher! Gimmie present!"
Random Student 2 "Gimmie present!!
Random Student 3 "Gimmie president!"
Random Student 4, thoughtfully; "George Bush was a good president."
Random Student 5, aghast; "No he wasn't!  I like Obama."


Hahaha!  O man...I want to have your students.
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Offline Tristin

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #533 on: September 06, 2012, 12:36:59 PM »
One student told me I am "pinnochio friend"

Girl told me, Teacher, your eyes goes BLING BLING!

Another student, teacher I have to s***, I got to go. I told him, "ask nicely."   he sighed, "Teacher I have to S*** may I please go."

Offline JPJ2010

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #534 on: September 06, 2012, 01:18:51 PM »
fave of my students from last year:

Me : What's a word for mother chicken?
Student : DELICIOUS!

Offline stemarty

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #535 on: September 06, 2012, 03:30:16 PM »
Oh Teacher! You're hair is like Lion King

Offline TheEnergizer

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #536 on: September 06, 2012, 04:12:41 PM »
Haha these are awesome. I got some pretty funny ones submitted by other teachers today as well. Thanks all who followed and liked the fb page ;)

What about pictures from students? I've had some pretty awful and funny picture drawn of me.

Offline lotte world

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Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #537 on: September 11, 2012, 03:07:57 PM »
Me: How are you?
Student: I'm hungry.
Me: You're always hungry.
Student: No, teacher!  Not "always"!  Umm.  "Usually".

Offline Diminished Capacity

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #538 on: September 11, 2012, 08:43:41 PM »

During a monthly interview/speaking test:

Diminished: So, what do you do on your birthday?
Student: I have a party with my family, and then I blow my cake.
Diminished: You blow your cake?
Student: Yes.
Diminished: I see.

It was pretty funny, but I didn't laugh because he said it so enthusiastically. That made it funnier though.

Offline JeremyC

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Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #539 on: September 11, 2012, 09:21:31 PM »
Heh, this thread has 510 Replies and 33,792 Views, but only 1 from the guy who started it - asking for 'Stuff My Students Said' to be put on his new website, www.stuffmystudentssaid.com. Nobody put anything on his website but this thread would be a goldmine if he ever were to check back.

Follow through, people !!
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